if you waugh don't hookup, that's great. if you don't want to hook up, whoa are you doing this? they're very disempowered around this but in particular, this being that it think should concern us, around hookup culture. not just individual hookups because culture of hooking up, is the way it structures, apathy and carelessness toward one's partner. the third criteria, into sexual intimacy, and so i'll give you an example and this where is the #metoo stuff comes in, i think. a number of years ago i was in illinois, and i was having pizza with students and i remember it was the pizza where you dip the crust into those disgusting dips. students love those things and they're all dipping and chatting, and they were telling me, hookups are like here, and so they, like, two of the students popped up out of their chairs, we'll demonstrate you might like this person you're with or have relationship with them but you can't tell them that and they're like so it's you're like, i don't care about you, i don't care but you and did this thing, turned their back and did -- then the person is li