ahamed weinberg is here. [ cheers and applause ] you're here on an excellent night.ore we get to that, here at "late night," every night, i deliver a monologue comprised of jokes written by a diverse team of writers. as a result, a lot of jokes come across my desk that, due to my being a straight, white male, would be difficult for me to deliver. but we don't think that should stop you from enjoying them. so we'd like to share them with you now in a segment called "jokes seth can't tell." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: these are two of our writers, amber and jenny. >> i'm black. >> and i'm gay. >> and we're both women. >> seth: and i'm not! [ light laughter ] so here's how this works. i'll read the set-ups for these jokes and amber and jenny will read the punch lines. here we go. a catholic man recently wrote a book called "why i don't call myself gay." >> look for it in the closet of your local book store. [ light laughter ] >> seth: a black tourist in amsterdam was recently pushed down the stairs by her airbnb host. >> it was the best experience a black person

carl weinberg.bloomberg. ♪ ♪ minutes past the hour. i'm guy johnson in london. tom keene in new york. kamal sharma is still with us. yen weakness.of what happened over the last several weeks is central banks tacitly or not the agreed that we are in a position now to talk about exit and reflation. most central banks seem to be on the same page, and the bank of japan six out because it is not. go you arent do you thatdifferent page, currency manipulation, people will pay attention. kamal: i think currency diplomacy starts to become an issue, but we are a long way from that. get to aarting to position where folks make tor -- may turn to the weakness in the end. -- governoroded kuroda does not want to declare victory on reflation too early. for them this is domestic story rather than a currency manipulations toward. tom: bring up the chart. we are going to do a little trigonometry. here is abenomics. to 2015en from 2012 from 80 to 120. this is called a sinusoidal dampening function. this is textbook. if

schultz is there, weinberger is there, poindexter is there. they all know tons beyond what meese has said. and they know an incredible amount that's directly contrary to what meese has announced as his findings. nobody says anything. when he asks, anybody know anything else? so it's very clear, the purpose of this meeting -- this is damage control at the highest levels. this is meese, with the assistance of poindexter and with the support of the president, setting forth the white house line. this is going to be the white house line. there were no arms traded for hostages. the president did not know. it had to be subordinates doing things that they shouldn't have done. the next day, meese reports to the public. there's a press conference at the white house. meese and reagan appear together. reagan appears only briefly. after a few minutes, he leaves and says the attorney general will answer questions. what does meese tell the public? he says, well, there was something bad that i have to tell you that people don't know about. they know about the

. >> who is said weinberger?. >> a producer on the johnny carson show on the very tyler moore show the second to third year and the the man and his prostate. >> so why in your view are the right to we net jobs?. >> so you voted. >> was is sylvia?. >> but garland had to solve the way the republican majority congress is lockstep said no way. and almost without any conversation at all i turnaround to find al gore said to -- just as gore such that they did a good job because they knew they could not win. because we had to scream now to against those rigidity and the lack of seoul the republican in have created of leadership. >> you have written this book you have written some amendments to the constitution?. >> i forgot what they were now. >>. >> best said is a very good example. >>, the time but nothing ever changes. but then to make their case known. every legislate toward in washington to be indebted. so when does anything change in this country? in to understand i have been traveling and i don't know what is happe

that was the weinberger doctrine. there are several points to. these were guidelines of when the united states should consider going to war or using combat forces overseas. one consideration was that we do so to protect vital national interests. that we do so with a clear idea of what was required but also have the full support of the american people. finally, our objective would be to win and prevail. i know that something that has guided drone thinking and national security issues. i thank you for the opportunities to discuss and. >> thank you mr. chairman. thank you to all the nominees for your willingness to serve them for the opportunity to be with you here today. thank you for the opportunity for great conversation yesterday about the importance of data on the roads which have been nominated. let me ask in this setting, how do you intend to convince our nato allies to stay the course with us in afghanistan given how much they have sacrificed and how uncertain the path is. how do you think together will make that

ladies and gentlemen, please welcome sharon weinberger. >> thank you, mark. i wanted to start off by thinking the gaithersburg book festival and politics and prose which are both great venues for writers and when you spend so many years in my case over four years working on a book and people actually want to hear you talk about it, i mean, not just read the book, but here about what motivated you to work on it and your passions and interests, that's wonderful and for me the opportunity to meet readers who want to share my interest is also a special opportunity, so thank you. i'm here today to talk about darpa defense advanced research project agency and something that's more associated today with science-fiction technology. people who have heard about it and a lot of people have, but some think of it in connection with things like self aircraft with drones responsible for the targeted killings of places like afghanistan iraq, yemen and elsewhere. they associate it most notably with the internet which indeed traces tracked the back to darpa lineage or perhaps

i worked for secretary weinberger and helped craft of these each he delivered, it was the weinberger doctrine. there were several points and these were guidelines of when the united states should consider going to war. one of the considerations would be to protect vital national interest. we would do so with a clear idea of what was required and also had the full support of the american people and our objective would be to win and to prevail. that has guided your own thinking in national security issues and i appreciate the opportunity to discuss it. >> thank you, senator. thank you to all the nominees for your willingness to serve. senator hutchinson, thanks for the opportunity for a great conversation about the role of nato. let me ask how do you intend to convince our nato allies to stay the course with us in afghanistan given how much they have sacrificed, how will we make that argument to our vital nato allies? >> thank you very much. afghanistan is hard, it is hard for america and it is hard for all of our allies. we know that al qaeda is rising up in afghanistan. thread, it is

you said that secretary of defense weinberger, in our last session with the president said, i don't think we should send one more screw until we have our americans back from beirut. because when the american people find out that this has happened, they will impeach you, referring to the president. >> objection. >> counsel is reading from a transcript of a tape recording which colonel north may have caused to be made. we have not been provided with a copy of that material. i think it is inappropriate for questions to be asked to the kernel when counsel has a copy of the tape and we do not have it. mr. nields: colonel north does have a copy of it. it was sent to him over the weekend and it is in a notebook in front of counsel. >> well fine, thank you mr. nields. as i walked in the door i was handed all of these notes that i'm looking at for the first time. do you want to direct my attention to where it is sir? mr. nields: the notebook titled second transcripts. i believe it is the top notebook that you put your papers on top of. >> tab five, sir? >> tab five. >> and what page, sir? >> it is

you said to them that secretary of defense weinberger, and our last session with the president said, i don't think we should send one more screw talking parts until we have our americans back from beirut, because when the american people find out that this has happened they will impeach you, referring to the president. >> objection, apparently the council is reading from a transcript from a tape recording, mr. chairman, which colonel north may have cause to be made. providedve not been with a copy of that material and i think it is appropriate requesting when counsel has a copy of the tape but we do not have it. >> colonel north does have a copy of it. it was sent to him over the weekend and it is in a notebook in front of counsel >> thank you, mr. niels. >> titled second channel. >> as i walked in the door five minutes after i was handed all these notebooks, which i'm looking at for the first time. do you want to direct my attention to where it is? is title second channel transcripts at tab five. i believe it is the top notebook you put your neighbors on top of. >> tabs five? tabs f

where was weinberger? you need to bear in mind that howard baker had fairly recently become cheese -- chief of staff. he brought with him his longtime press aide. robinson's first ,tep on coming back from berlin tony dolan was sold on the idea of building a speech around tearing down the wall -- immediately we went to see tommy griscam, and he said it might work. we drafted it and then, this is a terrible admission but the record is what it is. the president was also going to rome and to the venice economic summit. there was a lot of speeches. the whole speechwriting staff worked fast to finish a whole bundle of speeches. tony dolan, the chief speechwriter waited until a friday afternoon, may 16 or 15th, until he heard the helicopter descending to the south lawn. he went to the west wing and said to the staff secretary who was also new, the president has a leg wad of speeches -- a big wad of speeches. look it over at camp david. and he said that make sense. as the helicopter took off, the president had my

you said to them that secretary of defense weinberger in our last session with the president said, ion't think we should send one more screw, talking about the hawk parts, until we have our americans back from beirut, because when the american people find out that this has happened, they'll impeach you, referring to the president. mr. sullivan: objection. apparently, counsel is reading from a transcript of a tape recording, mr. chairman, which col. north may have caused to be made. we have not been provided with a copy of that material, and i think it's inappropriate for questions to be asked of the colonel when counsel has a copy of the tape, but we do not have it. thank you, sir. mr. nields: col. north does has a copy of it. it was sent to him. chairman inouye: the objection is overruled. mr. nields: it was sent to him over the weekend, and it's in a notebook in front of counsel. mr. sullivan: well, fine. thank you, mr. nields. mr. nields: entitled second channel. mr. sullivan: as i walked in the door at 5:00 minutes after, i was handed all these notebooks which i'm now looking at

we haven't heard -- the only cabinet member has called is weinberger, god bless his soul.itch. >> absolutely. >> i don't know whether you can get any reactions and call me back. like the old style. would you mind? >> i don't think i can. >> i agree. >> odd spot. >> don't call a goddamned soul. the hell with it. let me just say from me to you, any cabinet officer except weinberger, and thank god and no >> the board says they were instructed not to put any cas through. >> the hell with that. i told them to put all the calls through. >> that may be why you haven't gotten it, though. >> all right. i'll change it. god bless you, boy. god bless you. i love you, you know. >> okay. >> like my brother. all right, boy. keep the faith. >> right. then it hit me... ...managing was all i was doing. when i told my doctor,... ...i learned humira is for people who still have symptoms of moderate to severe crohn's disease... ...even after trying other medications. in clinical studies,... the majority of people on humira... saw significant symptom relief... ...and many achieved remission. hu

miss mcfarland i think was involved with secretary weinberg ger in the weinberger doctrine she knows i'm aware of. part of that we only go to war under certain circumstances not gleeful for war but restrict and restrain only going to war. one of the point of the doctrine to go to war in last resort. one, we go under vital national interests. i think sometimes we get sloppy with that one saying everything is our vital national interest and really a conclusion on both sides before we go. my hope is always there is a sufficient voice for war being the last resort. i'm not saying we never go but the state department is supposed to be part of that to a certain extent at nato, also, about preparedness but still the goal of nato is defense, not offense. i just hope all of you will remember that and realize that, you know, really part of your role is to try to preserve peace and keep peace and if you'd like to since i named you miss mcfarland, you welcome to respond about the doctrine, your role or your thoughts about your role in the world or our role in the world. >> thank you very much, s

noticeably absent from the camp david meeting was defense secretary weinberger who is , believed to have oppose such action. i think it is grossly unfair to suggest that two american lives were lost because one leader said,no,," and the other "i believe you should ask the president. he should have something to say tonight at 9:00." from the beginning of the history of mankind, organized societies, whether they be tribes, clans, or nations have , nurtured and created heroes. because, heroes are necessary. to serve as a cement to unite people. to bring unity and that nation. it provides glory to their history. it provides legends. we have many heroes. this hearing is being held in washington, the city of heroes. the city of monuments. we have hundreds of monuments in this city. in the capital, each state has on it, two of their heroes or heroines. the state of hawaii honors the warrior king and father damien, who is soon to become a saint. and if you step on the west steps of the mall and looked down the majestic mall, you will see the monument of george washington. very majestic. i rememb

tonight -- kelly ripa, star of "friends from college," actor fred savage, comedian ahamed weinberg.t to the news. newly-appointed white house communications director anthony scaramucci announced that press briefings will be televised again, tweeting yesterday, "tv cameras are back on." yeah, i bet they are. gh

interestingly revived in the 1980s in the reagan years, by cap weinberger who reminded us all if we digour feet deep and get underneath a kitchen door and 18 inches of dirt on top of it you could survive nuclear blast for four hours. who knew. it was not practical. this was kind of thinking going on when i was a kid. the turtle doing duck an cover. only problem i had with, burt had a shell. all i have got a shirt. that is not the same. burt with cord of stick of dynamite how to survive a nuclear attack. some of you may remember duck drills. quarter inch of formica protect us from 5,000-degree nuclear powerball. the part they didn't sell, all classes rooms had floor to ceiling windows. under half i've of for mica, looking at this sheet glass window, isn't that bomb going to, shut up. get under the desk. that was a little frightening. that was the, the setting if you will of the kind of stories we're talking about. the first, one of my favorites is the u.s. army's plan to put a base on the moon. this is is project horizon. this was turned into the eisenhower administration into 1958. very

the second thing is that the legendary john weinberg, now deceased, said that some people grow, other people's well. -- other people swell. i want to keep my head in the game and my ego low and work with steve bannon. i have a huge, norma's amount of -- enormous amount of respect. reporter: you said that you don't need to right the ship. 3820%e president has a approval rating -- 38.8% approval rating. that is historically low. mr. scaramucci: that is a really good question. we know from statistics, because i've taken plenty of statistics courses, that sometimes the polls can be wrong. reporter: the gallup average. mr. scaramucci: ok, but we were using averages during the campaign and they said we were going to lose and we ended up winning. they are a barometric pressure reading for right now, today, but the american people are playing the long game and i think they really love the president. if you look at individual states, you can see that the guy is doing phenomenally well. it is indicating to me personally that the president is really well loved. there seems to be a disconnection

the secondary thing is that this legendary man, john weinberg, now deceased said some people people swell. i think that is a great quote. i have a lot of respect for steve bannon, and i am looking forward to working with him as well. i have an enormous part of respect for him. sarah says i can keep going. >> you said you do not need to write the ship -- right the ship, but the president has a 38.8% approval rating in his second quarter, that is historically low. what are you going to do to change that and make it better for the american people? mr. scaramucci: that is actually a great question. targets,ls are moving and we know from statistics, and i had taken plenty of statistics courses, that some of these polls can be wrong. >> that is the gallup average. mr. scaramucci: but we used that during the campaign and people said we would lose, but we would end up winning. i would say they are a barometric pressure reading for right now today, but the american people are playing a long game and i think they really love the president. when you look into the individual state-by-state polls, the

you subordinated yourself to the team even if you had disagreements the legendary john weinberg who is now deceased once said some people grow, other people swell. that is a great line to think about yourself. for me i want to keep my head in the game. i want to keep my ego low. i want to work with steve bannon closely as i possibly can. i have a huge, enormous amount of respect. [shouting questions] sarah said i can keep going. >> she said you don't need to right the ship. doing great work. but the president has a 38.8% approval rating in his second quarter. that is historically low. what are you going to do to change that? >> so that is actually really good question. and so, these polls are moving targets. we all know from statistics i taken plenty of statistics courses sometimes polls can we be wrong. >> that is gallup's average. >> we're using gallup's average. using averages during the campaign people said we would lose and we ended up winning. polls are barometric pressure reading for right now today but the american people are playing a long game. i think they really, really lov

the second thing is that the legendary john weinberg, now deceased, said that some people grow, other other people swell. ok, and is a great line to think about yourself. for me, i want to keep my head in the game, i want to keep my ego low, and work with steve bannon closely as i possibly can. i have a huge, enormous amount of respect for him. [speaking simultaneously] reporter: you said that you don't need to right the ship. that you guys are doing great work. but the president has a 38.8% approval rating. in his second quarter. that is historically low. what are you going to do to change that? to better change with the american people? mr. scaramucci: that is a really good question. these polls are moving targets. we all know from statistics and i have taken plenty of statistics courses, they can be wrong. reporter: the gallup average. mr. scaramucci: ok, but we were using averages during the campaign and they said we were going to lose and we ended up winning. what i would say about polls is that they are a barometric pressure reading for right now, today, but the american people

the formative defense's highest civilian award, the distinguished public service medal, first by weinberger and again by bill parry who is here with us today. as many of you know, graham allison has written extensively about nuclear weapons, terrorism and decisionmaking. his first book, essence of decision explained to the cuban missile crisis, one of the most influential books in political science and has become required reading for the vast majority of political science students today. that is saying something. if you're a political scientist you know there have been so many articles and books about the cuban missile crisis there has even been a periodical about why we should stop writing articles and books about the cuban missile crisis. it is one of the most proud intellectual landscapes and graham allison's book has stood the test of time. that book has sold 450,000 copies, the tom clancy of the field. >> influential books including a 2000 book called the grandmaster's insights on china, the us and the world, and nuclear terrorism, the ultimate preventable catastrophe, selected as one

the legendary john weinberg said some people grow, other people's well. that's a great line to think about yourself. for me, i want to keep my head in the game, i want to keep my ego low, and i want to work as closely as i can. i have a huge enormous amount of respect for him. sarah says i can keep going. i will keep going. >> you said you don't need to right the ship, that you guys are doing great work. the president has a 38.8% approval rating in his second quarter. that is historically low. what are you going to do to change that? >> that's actually a really good question. these are moving targets and we all know from statistics that it sometimes the polls can be wrong. we do know that. we are going to use gallus average, but averages during the campaign and we said we are going to lose and we ended up winning. i would say about polls is that they are a barometric pressure reading for right now today. but the american people are actually playing a long cane. i think they really, really love the president. when you look into the individual state by stat

subordinated yourself to the team even if you had disagreements and the second i think was that john weinberg once said, some people grow, other people swell and it's a great line to think about yourself so for me, i want to keep my head in the game, keep my ego low and work with steve bannon as best i can. >> and then the other thing was -- >> sarah says i can keep going. >> you said that the ship -- you said that you don't need to right the ship, that you guys are doing great work. but the president has a 38.8% approval rating in his second quarter. that's historically low. what are you going to do to change that? to better communicate with the american people. >> that's actually a really good question. and so these polls are moving targets, and we all know from statistics, which i've taken plenty of statistics courses, that sometimes the polls can be wrong. >> that's an average. that's gallup's average. >> but we were using averages during the campaign and people said we were going to lose and we ended up winning so what i would say about polls is that they're a barometric pressure but the

the team, even if you had this agreement, and the secondary thing is that this legendary man, john weinberg, said some people grow, other people's well peoplee's well -- swell. code, --hat is a great quote, i have a lot of respect for steve bannon, and i am looking forward to working with him as well. >> you said you do not need right the ship, but the president has a 38% approval second quarter, that is historically low. >> that is a great question. and one of the things we know is that a poll is a moving target and they can be wrong. >> that is the gallup average. theut we used that during campaign and people said we would lose, but we would win. but they are a barometric treasury for right now today, but the american people are playing a long game and i think they really love the president. when you look at state-by-state polls, the guys doing phenomenally well. that is indicating to me personally that the president is really well loved. there seems to be a disconnect in terms of some of the things that are going on, and we want , toonnect that, sarah and i the best of our capability. an

al-jazeera and track them in a report suggesting qatar has noted through the work of my colleague david weinberg at qatar is failed to take action against u.n. and u.s. funded -- for a moment i would like to address how qatar has responded to the allegations against the grid after ignoring criticism from think tanks like the better part of the decade qatar claims is being unfairly singled out. to be sure the other gulf countries have their problems. a recent state department report noted terrorist financiers continue to operate in kuwait saudi arabia continues to finance the spread of wahhabism and the entire gulf suffers or mitt democracy deficit but to understand my qatar is identified first among states for terrorism financing imagine for a moment you are a policeman he just watched five cars speed going 85 mustin aren't five miles and are consuming pastime is a red ferrari going 90 miles an hour. which car would you pull over? that ferrari is qatar. cutter's support is overt egregious and its brazen. as the gulf crisis has dragged on qatar has been defiant insisting its definition of terrori

yourself to the team, even if you had disagreements, and the second thing was that the legendary john weinbergo is now deceased, once said some people grow other people swell okay that's a great line to think about yourself, and for me, i want to keep my head in the game and i want to keep my ego low and i want to work with steve bannon as closely as i possibly can. i have a huge amount of respect for him. >> sarah says i can keep going. >> you said -- you said that you don't need to right the ship, that you guys are doing great work, but the president has a 38.8% approval rating in his second quarter that's historically low. what are you going to do to change that? >> that's actually a really good question these polls are moving targets and we all know from statistics, taken plenty of statistics courses. sometimes the polls can be wrong. >> that's the average. >> we're going to use gallup's averages but we were using averages during the campaign and people said we were going to lose and we ended up winning so what i would say about polls they are a barometric pressure reading for right now to

al-jazeera and track them in a report suggesting qatar has noted through the work of my colleague david weinberg at qatar is failed to take action against u.n. and u.s. funded -- for a moment i would like to address how qatar has responded to the allegations against the grid after ignoring criticism from think tanks like the better part of the decade qatar claims is being unfairly singled out. to be sure the other gulf countries have their problems. a recent state department report noted terrorist financiers continue to operate in kuwait saudi arabia continues to finance the spread of wahhabism and the entire gulf suffers or mitt democracy deficit but to understand my qatar is identified first among states for terrorism financing imagine for a moment you are a policeman he just watched five cars speed going 85 mustin aren't five miles and are consuming pastime is a red ferrari going 90 miles an hour. which car would you pull over? that ferrari is qatar. cutter's support is overt egregious and its brazen. as the gulf crisis has dragged on qatar has been defiant insisting its definition of terrori

they've paid ran some to terrorism groups and noted through the work of my colleague david and crew weinberging that qatar has failed to take action against u.s. and u.n. designated terrorist financiers. in my written testimony i document these problems and happy to discuss them further. for a moment i'd like to address how qatar responded to the allegations against it. after ignoring criticism from think tanks, qatar now claims it is being singled out. to be sure, the other gulf countries have their problems. a recent state department report noted that u.n. designated terrorist financiers continue to operate in kuwait. saudi arabia continues to finance the spread of wahhabism. but to understand why qatar is identified first among gulf states for terrorism financing, just imagine for a moment that you're a policeman and you've just watched five cars speed past you going 80 miles an hour. zooming past them is a red ferrari regoing 90 miles an hour. which car would you pull over. that ferrari is qatar. their support is overt, it is egregious and brazen. as the gulf crisis has dragged on, qatar ha