i didn't know how to get from westwood from azusa. so we put it in the navigation.nd we're crying along the way, and the phone is ringing off the hook, and people texting and calling, and the phone system crashes. and as we get closer to westwood, we see all of the helicopters hovering in the sky. and westwood is people standing still and it's taped off, so i drive up to a policeman and they let me in. i go to the emergency part, and i go straight to my mother, and she is sitting there like in a daze. she was just in a daze, numb, staring into space. and then i said -- i consoled her a bit and then i went to see him. i said, well, where is he? they said, he's down the hall a bit. and i walked in this room, and it took a lot, larry, to walk into the room and see your brother laying there lifeless. laying on the -- this gurney thing, like. and he's -- and i sort of touched his face. and he was still soft. he was still soft. and i pulled his eye -- eyelid back to look at his eyes. and i just kissed his face. and it's a horrible feeling to have death in your family, tha