get stuck in sculptures of captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org [theme music playing] [cheering and applause] >> stephen: right there? is that the one? welcome to "the report," everybody. [audience chanting "stephen"] [cheering and applause] welcome to "the report," everybody. folks, thank you so much. you know... [cheering and applause] welcome to "the report." good to have you with us. nation, i don't know what it is, but tonight i feel ten years younger. it might be the summer sun or the smell of barbecue or the chaos in iraq. [laughter] jim? >> militants on the move in iraq conquering city after city. >> they've now taken mosul, iraq's second largest city, tikrit, saddam hussein's hometown, baiji, an iraqi oil refinery town, and today they are taking direct aim at baghdad. >> the country's government and military is literally disintegrating before our eyes. >> the situation is growing more urgent as american contractors are forced to

good night. ptioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org

comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org - the one who plays jamie is not english. - he's not? - i don't know what nationality he is, but he's definitely not english. - that's amazing. he's got the most amazing--dog! - whoa! - come on, max, no. bad dog, bad. i'm so sorry. i just rescued him from a shelter.

[moaning and groaning] >> soccer.omedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: tonight a victory for all religions, no matter what kind of jesus you believe in, then a new high-tech weight loss product, finally you can feel cyberfat. and pie guests tonight are the cohost of radioan which they call a show about curiosities. so lock up your cats. my show was nominated for 6 emmis. and it has nothing to do with all my lesbian prison sex. this is the cole bert report. (cheers and applause)

captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org

get stuck in sculptures of captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org [theme music playing] [cheering and applause] >> stephen: right there? is that the one? welcome to "the report," everybody. [audience chanting "stephen"] [cheering and applause] welcome to "the report," everybody. folks, thank you so much. you

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ (eagleaw) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to "the report"! thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen! (audience chanting "stephen") >> stephen: thank you very much! thank you ladies and gentlemen! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: folks, tonight, we are all painfully aware of the ongoing tragedy along our southern border. despite our best intentions, it remains impossible to pair an outfit with turquoise jewelry! (laughter) don't believe the man at the kiosk, you will look like an extra from dances with wolves (laughter) another big issue from down there, thousands of central american children poring over the border and the president is doing nothing to stop it. all the jumping and running on trains, i'm sure it's part of the first lady's let's move campaign. for months now we've been sold a bill of goods and these kids are fleeing places back home like san pedro sula, honduras, known as the murder capital around the world. they're probably padding the numbers by lumping in th

[moaning and groaning] >> soccer.omedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: tonight a victory for all religions, no matter what kind of jesus you believe in, then a new high-tech weight loss product, finally you can feel cyberfat. and pie guests tonight are the cohost of radioan which they call a show about curiosities. so lock up your cats. my show was nominated for 6 emmis. and it has nothing to do with all my lesbian prison sex. this is the cole bert report. (cheers and applause) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the report. good to have you with us. >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for being here tonight. (cheers and applause) welcome to the report, good to see you. folks, i got to tell you, it's not just the energy in this room. i feel it too. you know, i love going-- i love going on vacation. it is great to be back after two weeks. i spent the fourth of july holiday celebrating a steamy anniversary with my lover, america. (laug

get stuck in sculptures of captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbhbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org [theme music playing] [cheering and applause] >> stephen: right there? is that the one? welcome to "the report," everybody. [audience chanting "stephen"] [cheering and applause] welcome to "the report," everybody. folks, thank you so much. you know... [cheering and applause] welcome to "the report." good to have you with us. nation, i don't know what it is, but tonight i feel ten years younger. it might be the summer sun or the smell of barbecue or the chaos in iraq. [laughter] jim? >> militants on the move in iraq conquering city after city. >> they've now taken mosul, iraq's second largest city, tikrit, saddam hussein's hometown, baiji, an iraqi oil refinery town, and today they are taking direct aim at baghdad. >> the country's government and military is literally disintegrating before our eyes. >> the situation is growing more urgent as american contractors are forced to evacuate a

they'll need air s comedy centrl captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme music playing] [cheering and applause] >> stephen: welcome to "the report." good to have you with us. thank you, ladies and gentlemen. thank you so much. [audience chanting "stephen"] [cheering and applause] thank you, ladies and gentlemen. it's so lovely to have you here. foarks we have so many stories that we've got to cover tonight, and it's foreign let you know there is so much news breaking right now. for instance, u-s-a, u-s-a, u-s-a, u-s-a! and if you thought i wasn't going to lead off tonight with patriotic chance and correspondent: you were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong! thank you. last week i may have seemed excited about team u.s.a.'s world cup win over ghana, but that's because i thought it was over and we had won the world cup. well, news flash, there is more to the world than us and ghana. [laughter] i have some terrible news, folks. i don't know how the say this, but i care about soccer. [whistles] that's a foul on futbol for using its h

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to the report. welcome. thank you so much. >> stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thank you, folks. sit down. folks thank you so much. oh, you, my brother, it was gorgeous and yum, " why um. thank you so much for being here tonight. i told you all about the recent surge of violence in iraq and how it caught president obama with his mom jeans down. ( laughter ) but you know what they say-- every brutal terrorist onslaught has a silver lining. in this case it brought back my old pals, the iraq pack, and they are sing the same old tune. >> look, i think we should have found a way to keep an american presence in iraq. >> president bush did exactly the right thing in overthrowing saddam hussein. >> i'm not responsible for iraq today. that's because of what barack obama did. >> general petraeus had the conflict won, thanks to the surge. we had the conflict won. and we

orey comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: tonight i unriche my anger on amazon except i chose free shipping so i actually unleashed it in 3 to 5 business days. (laughter) then a doping scandal in the world of sports. the winner of the ken den derby tested positive for horse. an my guest nancy pelosi has a new plan to save the middle class. oh perfect, i think he watches my show. the world's second richest man says we should have a three day workweek. now you know why he's only the second richest man. (laughter) this is the cole bert report. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stechb, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause) welcome to the report, everybody. good to have you with us in here, out there, all around the world. nation, there's a lot to talk about. but of course, of course folks i have to start tonight with a shocking international incident that has drawn

captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ (eagle caw) (cheers and applause) >> stephenwelcome to "the report"! thanks so much for joining us! nation -- (chanting) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: nation, thank you so much! nation, thank you so much for your love and adulation tonight. i need it more than ever because if you have been watching the news, you know it's been a tough week for, let's say humans. (laughter) from battles in gaza to russia shelling ukraine to taliban advances in afghanistan, they're not releasing any more new weird al videos. (laughter) folks, we are facing a situation i've always feared -- things might actually be as bad as we make them sound on cable news. (laughter) >> the world on fire. from the middle east to ukraine to libya. >> the world is on fire. russia rocketing ukraine. add israel and gaza. illegals flooding our border. >> the world is a mess right now. >> it absolutely is. >> the world is burning. >> to put it mildly, the world is a mess. >> stephen: madeline albright, whose family was forced into exile by the german invasion of cz

chose not give a larger captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the report, everybody. thank you so much. stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> thank you, folks, good to have you with us, in here, out there, all around the world! folks, thank you so much for being here. it's-- it's great to know i have your support. while i am primarily a pundit and newsman my media empire extends all throughout the entertainment industry. because in addition to this show i have my best selling children's book. my alpha squad 7 graphic novel and my family friendly ku klux cartoons. call me anything, jr., okay, or you're the racist. but even media moguls like me got to stay connected to the fans. and there's no better place to do that than at this weekend's san diego comic con where every conceivable sci-fi, tv show or book moneymaker for at least 130,000 rabid attendees. it is an orgy of people who will probably not be i

by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh ,, ,,,,,,,,,, deputy has shot and killed a suspect. >r realtime captioner is linda macdonald. >>> beginning tonight with breaking news out of san leandro where a sheriff's deputy has shot and killed a suspect. >> kpix 5's christin ayers is live at the scene. christin. >> reporter: that's right. alameda county sheriff's deputies confirm just a short time ago the man died. this started as a domestic violence incident. the cops who arrived on the scene were alameda county sheriff's deputies motorcycle officers who wound up shooting the man as you can see -- you can see that motorcycle turned over at the scene there. authorities are telling us they got the call earlier today around 4:30 saying that a man was beating a woman inside of a car here on east 14th street. when they arrived on the scene, the sheriff's deputy wound up opening fire on the suspect in the car and killing him. the woman has been taken to a nearby hospital. authorities telling us she is suffering from severe head injuries. we have to assume that was from the beating. auth

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central ♪ (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to "the colbert report thank you for joining us. (cheers and applause) (audience chanting) >> stephen: thank you so much for joining us, everybody! nation, i don't mean to be a broken mp3 file, but i gotta say it again, barack obama doesn't have the right stuff to be president. and i'm beginning to think he agrees because he's started doing something worse than destroying america. he's slacking off at destroying america. >> this week president obama refusing to go to the u.s.-mexican border. guess where the president is planning to go? on vacation. news today that obama will head back to ritzy martha's vineyard next month. >> president obama spent three days avoiding a visit to the border while playing pool, sipping beers and raising lots of money. >> make up, america. we elected a president who'd rather play pool and drink beer in colorado than address the american crisis developing at our border. >> stephen: yes

you're studying law.oning sponsy comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org central (cheers and applause) >> stephen: right there is all right. welcome to the report, everybody, good to you haves with us. stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being here

comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org - my name is nathan fielder. one of canada's top business schools with really good grades. now i'm using my knowledge to help struggling small business owners make it in this competitive world. [sweeping orchestral music] ♪ this is nathan for you. greg boodaghian works in an industry where dishonesty runs rampant, and that makes the fact that i first thought his business was called "gay auto repair" the least of his worries. his biggest problem: customers not trusting him. - i do have clients like that that once they enter here, they think that i'm ready to rip them off. - greg seemed like an honest mechanic, but before helping him, i needed to be sure. so i baked him some cookies with salt instead of sugar to see if he'd be honest about the taste, and the next day, i paid him a visit at his shop in glendale, california, with my homemade treats.

captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org california beach. the construction problems on the new bay brie may have been worse than we thought. why one state lawm is calling for a criminal investigation. and it's the end of an era. fans flock to candlestick p. for one last game. kpix 5 news is next. ,,,,,,,,,, people -- after a powerful thunderstorm suddenly rolle. >>> a day at the beach nearly turned deadly for more than a dozen people after a powerful

get stuck in sculptures of captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbhchino! ♪ we love it ♪ i love the... hell, yeah i love the... hell, yeah ♪ ♪ i love that... drippin' down to the floor, oh, no ♪ ♪ the way is... hell, yeah i love the... hell, yeah ♪ ♪ i'm drinkin' up your booty sweat and bustin' a nut ♪ ♪ alpa chino got that... control ♪ [announcer] alpa chino's booty sweat. pop an ass open! booty sweat and bust-a-nut bars, available at concessions now. [male narrator] in 2013, when the earth's rotation came to a halt... [female reporter] the president has declared all of north america a disaster area. [man] i call my fellow americans to come together. [narrator] ...the world called on the one man who could make a difference. [baby gurgles] [announcer] when it happened again, the world called on him once more. and no one saw it coming...

you're studying law.oning sponsy comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to "the report"! thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen! (audience chanting "stephen") >> stephen: thank you very much! thank you ladies and gentlemen! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: folks, tonight, we are all painfully aware of the ongoing tragedy along our southern border. despite our best intentions, it remains impossible to pair an outfit with turquoise jewelry! (laughter) don't believe the man at the kiosk, you will look like an extra from dances with wolves (laughter) another big issue from down there, thousands of central american children poring over the border and the president is doing nothing to stop it. all the jumping and running on trains, i'm sure it's part of the first lady's let's move campaign. for months now we've been sold a bill of goods and these kids are fleeing places back home like san pedro sula, honduras, known as the murder capital around the world. they're probably padding the numbers by lumping in the

they'll need overflight rights, they'll need air s comedy centrl captioned by media access group at wgbhs.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme music playing] [cheering and applause] >> stephen: welcome to "the report." good to have you with us. thank you, ladies and gentlemen. thank you so much. [audience chanting "stephen"]

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen perry faces criticism from a fellow texan. turns out there is some of them he hasn't executed. then big news from the world of comic books. you're going to want to save tonight's show in a plastic sleeve. and my guest is the mayor of new york bill de blasio. i'll ask if this interview can count as jury duty. (laughter) a first edition of das kapital has sold for $40,000. so suck it, mark, the rich win again. this is the colbert report. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central

cheers and applause) good n captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbhh.org ♪ i'm going down to south park, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ going down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rm! mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪ ♪ i walk hand in hand with jesus ♪ ♪ over at the park by where he lives ♪ ♪ i tell him all my problems ♪ and sometimes he tells me his ♪ ♪ what a friend i have in jesus ♪

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh (cheers and applause)port, everybody, good to have you with us. stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. thank you so much. (cheers and applause)

captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >>> your realtimeaptioner is linda macdonald. >>> now at 6:00, dark smoke fast-moving flames there is an all-out fight to get this fire in napa county under control. 1500 acres have burned already. good evening, i'm veronica de la cruz. >> i'm allen martin. that fire is burning in the pope valley area east of calistoga in saint helena. evacuation orders are in place notice butts canyon and snell -- in the butts canyon and snell area and christin ayers reports. >> reporter: the fire is burning actively. it nearly doubled in size. you can see that great big plume of smoke. the fire burning actively just beyond that ridge. cal fire saying it has burned at least 1,000 acres and was only 10% contained at last report. we saw heavy smoke and fire from the air. chopper 5 giving you an expansive view of the flames. the fire spreading so fast due to the drought. lots of tall dry grass keeping those flames going. we also got a view of the flames from the ground, as well. take a look at the firefight up close, fir

[moaning and groaning] >> soccer.omedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.orgstephen: tonight a victory for all religions, no matter what kind of jesus you believe in, then a new high-tech weight loss product, finally you can feel cyberfat. and pie guests tonight are the cohost of radioan which they call a show about curiosities. so lock up your cats. my show was nominated for 6 emmis. and it has nothing to do with all my lesbian prison sex. this is the c

al captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> it's 11:59 and 59 seconds. vimeo today. it's a historic day for superhero fans. not only is today the kickoff of the 44th annual comic-con. international in san diego, it's all the batman's 75th birthday. over the years, the brooding guardian of gotham and robin's quote-unquote merpt. has been played by adam west, michael keaton, val kilmer, george clooney, christian bale and this kid. we used to show that on web soup all the time. of course, ben affleck is the next batman, so in honor of the dark knight's 75th, we are thrilled to premiere an exclusive clip from the upcoming "batman v superman: dawn of justice." i hope this is okay. >> wow! >> big time. ♪ ♪ ( laughter ) ( applause ) yeah. so good. so dark and

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ( cheersen: welcome to the report. welcome. thank you so much. >> stephen!

captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >>> it is a tough to tell tonight. another sudden death strikes close to "glee." >> police tell "e.t." it was nearly 1:00 in the afternoon when housekeeping discovered matt's lifeless body. >> the boyfriend of "glee" star rebecca tobin found dead in philly. we're at the scene of the tragedy today. >> what's really eerie, it comes nearly a year to the day after cory monteith's passing, and we have cory's father reflecting on the sad anniversary. >> i always say good morning to him when i get up. >> then we are first with leann rimes and eddie cibrian before their reality show hits the air. >> yeah, they are exposing every detail of their personal life. the big question is why? >> do you think you're going to open yourself up to more criticism? >>> also tonight i'm at the premiere of "sex tape" where i talk to rob lowe about his infamous sex tape. >> oh, do you? >> yeah.

good n captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.orgn stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme music playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we have a good show tonight. our guest tonight, the great bill maher. bill maher will be joining us. [cheering and applause] but first, we turn to the middle east, where a group of sunni islamist militants have formed nation start-up looking to gain market share in iraq. the group is called isis, not to be confused with their early '90s incarnation, vanilla isis. [laughter] anyway, the iraqi government has now had a couple tweaks respond to the rebels' incursion. we should be getting news of the iraqi government's triumph right about now. >> isis militants control the borderrary with syria, the border area with jordan and pretty much everything in between. >> jon: right about now. [laughter] wait! did you just blow past everything in between. did you just yadda, yadda the

good night. ponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ i'mng down to south park, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ going down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rm! mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome stott report, everybody, good to have you with us. stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. thank you so much. (cheers and applause) just hearing you chant like that just hearing you chrant chant like that is i got to say, your chanting, your adulation that just felt like a cork being tossed around in a typhoon of love. folks if you watch the news you know the conflicts continue to rage all around the world an tonight i'm sad to report yet another international-- another international dispute. >> justin bieber and orlando bloom in a heated argument. that is actor orlando bloom arguing with pop star justin bieber. overnight at a restaurant in ibiza spain. a club-goer telling that bloom had thrown a punch at bieber. >> stephen: early reports-- reports indicate that justin bieber had his first hit in years. the roots of this conflict-- (cheers and ap