. >> this week, apart t from wheni lostst my father, this is the hardest week of my life. i received a special immigrant visa for the united states. i am thankful that this, this probably will save my life. but, it's hard to even explain whwhat kind ofof feelings,s, whd of emotions i have right nowow. whenever i heard from m my fath: "motherlanand" and "ththe love r the country", and we would always make fun ofof that, and e would d say: "what has thiss motherland given us?" civil war, moving from place to places, all these traumas and all these craziness, people are getting slaughtered, people are getting killed, and our life is in danger. is this whatat the motherland ds for you? when my mom was leaving she was crying and i was trying to calm her r down and hold her and all that. but, in the back of my head i was like why is this lady crying? she would just only,y, "you dont understand." it isis the country understand. ." "and, i'm like what part of this country? the explosionsns on the road? the killllings? all these rapes? all these crazy chaos? is that what you're goi