and now, here's your host whitney cummings! (audience applauding and cheering) - i'm whitney cummings and welcome to comedy.tv! (audience applauding and cheering) tonight you guys are gonna see some dians in the country, are you ready? (audience applauding) awesome. being a comedian is pretty cool but most of my friends are guys, you know, 'cause they're all guy comedians and i recently noticed something about guys. i notice that every guy i've ever known somewhere in his house or apartment or whatever has a jar full of coins? (audience laughing) what the hell is this? the last guy i dated, i was like oh, maybe he collects coins. or maybe that's his laundry money.

i will be your host, whitney cummings, and thank you. being a comedian is such a cool job, but it's hard to, like, have functional relationships as a comedian. but i also think it's hard to have functional relationships in general, you know? i realize that in relationships, i fight all the time, that's kinda my thing. and women, we're amazing fighters right? we're like emotional ninjas,