larry wilmore, hilarious. he loved the spandex.won he would wear spandex. he was hatin' on duke. >> i do not think the world wants to see me in spandex. >> you're the boss. you didn't have to do that. >> world wants to duke to win. >> i think they are. i was rooting for wisconsin, though. >> they are a good team. >> i would have had to wear a suit of armor if they won. >>> so many people are afraid to talk about race. you go all the way in. all the way in. my beige brother, why? >> that's true. it is that third row, a conversation people say they want to have that dialogue. obviously the dialogue is one theatrical convention. why not have a soliloquy first? why not start talking and have people come in and join it. it's fun, too. you can have fun and still have the conversation at the same time. >> when you got the call they wanted you to take over the stephen colbert place, what went through your mind not in terms of excitement but how do you fashion a show that's unique to follow that show? >> the steve colbert -- who's this guy?

astronaut larry wilmore blasted off or former astronaut larry wilmore was arrested yesterday. interesting question. i think i did when i was younger, but i enjoyed work behind the scenes. >> being a producer writing. >> yes. the puzzle of putting it together. the act doing is better than the attention. >> i get that. >> you got fired, larry, from the show you created "the bernie mac show." how does that happen? >> those things happen. it happened to people much more important than me. you learn a lot of life less sons. you learn to pick yourself back up, get back in the game and make the best out of it. those things didn't happen but i was still proud of that show. >> how much news do you consume? what do you watch? >> i consume a ridiculous amount of news. way too much than an average person does. >> but it's the heart of what you do. >> yeah. i watch mainly news and sports. >> any show in particular? >> my morning show is this one right here. i have to tell you. i switched to this show. i like you guys a lot. you keep it real. >> who did you switch from? >> i switched from -

-- 17-year-old larry wilmore was a damn idiot.some other things 17-year-old larry wilmore would have liked to do. (laughter) now it makes sense. come on, come on, let's go. oh, thank you! (cheers and applause) hey, guys! this is the truth! and these stories don't stop. earlier this month, a teacher in pennsylvania who was caught having sex with a 17-year-old student was described by a judge as "dangling candy" in front of the boy. um, no. this is dangling candy. all right? (applause) that's how you dangle candy! having sex with a 17-year-old student in a car in an industrial park is sexually assaulting a minor. a little different. but the teacher, who pled guilty and was eligible for 7 to 14 years of jail, was only given 30 days. and part of the reasoning for the light sentence handed down by the male judge -- what young man would not jump on that candy? (audience reacts) hey, boner judge, the onus is on the candy to not jump on the young man! but this too often is the reaction when a boy is the victim. look, young boys may not be

i'm larry wilmore. it's thursday nerdsday! yeah!o buckle in, nerds, because there's a lot going on in your world, respected news organization tmz happened to bump into latina actress michelle rodriguez and asked her about rumors she might play the green lantern. >> i think it's so stupid for like, everybody because of this whole, like, you know, like minorities in hollywood thing. it's, like, stop stealing, you know, all the white people's superheroes, like make up your own. >> larry: stealing the white people's superheroes? yeah, that's the talk i have with my son. son... don't steal. i know you like spiderman, but that's the white man's superhero. we have gizzardman. after a lot of people were offended by her comments, she got on facebook to try to clean things up. >> i think that people should stop being lazy, and that's what i meant by my comment. and, you know i'm taking it to heart as well and i'm considering this while i am out there coming up with projects to do and things to right. >> larry: okay. i see your point. minoriti

larry wilmore at the it nightly show, larry. >> hello jon. and hello to the american people, hello folks. >> jon: that is-- is that euro bama impression? >> you bet.

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i'm larry wilmore.

larry wilmore. zen. >> newt gingrich in his gradual rise in the polls has turned into a surge. >> he wasn't the perfect husband did things that were wrongxd asked god's forgiveness. i think a lot o >> larry: tonightly, hillary clinton's running for president -- unstoppable force, meet immovable object! she kicks off her campaign by telling america, "it's your time." and by "your time," she means "my time"! who will fight hillary for the democratic nomination? seriously, who's in, because she will cut a bitch. smile like you mean it and claw your way to the top! this is the "the nightly show"! let's do this! (cheers and applause) ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central >> larry: yeah! thank you very much! man! welcome to the "the nightly show." i'm larry wilmore. whoo! man! big day yesterday, the most powerful woman in politics returned to the scene in a big way. we have been expecting to hear from her, and, wow, she really came out strong. >> i'm not a politician. i'm a queen. >> larry:

(laughter) hi i'm basic cable's larry wilmore.nt study shows that over 90% of americans may have had a friend or relative murdered by aaron hernandez. so if you or someone you foe has been shot stabbed shifd box cutted ninja starred or choked out by aaron hernandez you're not alone. to share your stories and offer community support please visit www.aaron hernandez definitely did it no doubt about it i mean seriously look at the evidence.comeback/he's a deep level of evil but i bet belichick would take him back anyway. (cheers and applause) >> larry: thank you. together we can get through this-- wait did i say.com i meant.org. .com apparently was already taken. >> by the way,. >> the u.s. capitol had a brief security scare today when a gyrocopter landed on the west lawn. >> larry: that's right. it lacks like once again it's time for our segment what does the pilot of this wacky gyro copter that just landed on the capitol mall want? >> larry: that was really worth the wait isn't it? so what did he want? >> the purpose of it was to c

from the wilmore online university. wilmore online. we'll be right back. a totally different breed of chocolate cereal. wicked crunch outside, creamy real chocolate inside. krave cereal. chocolate chocolate... yum yum! ♪ pepsi is giving away 100 days of awesome music prizes. follow us on twitter and hashtag out of the blue with a picture of pepsi. ♪ when sweet and tart meet the possibilities are delicious. get ready for sweetarts soft and chewy ropes. with no artificial flavors or colors. they're new from sweetarts. pizza hut stuffed crust. i helped launch it twenty years ago and to commemorate that pizza hut has brought me back, along with the original price. get a large original stuffed crust or any one of ten new flavorful stuffed crusts like hut favorite for just $9.99. only at pizza hut. ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: that's all the time we have for tonight. i want to thank our panel kurt metzger, anya kamenetz, and fareed zakaria. give them a nice round of applause. take a look at all of this spandex solidarity. give yourselfaise round of applause

i'm larry wilmore. before we get started, of course a big shoutout to the duke blue devils who won the n.c.a.a. basketball tournament last night. ( cheers ) i know. i know. hey, guys. by the way in response to the big win police cars were overturned. there was rioting and giant garbage fires were set, and that was just by me. ( laughter ) because the duke win means i will host a show dressed from head to toe in spandex. ( cheers and applause ) "dare-y wilmore's march badness bracketsball dare-o-mania 2015: it's boner time!" challenge is over, and i will serve my punishment this thursday. i'm doing it. so tune in. and because of the nature of spandex, let's just hope that it really isn't boner time. ( cheers and applause ) just for all of our sakes right. and by the way, i should also take a moment to acknowledge stanford university who won the n.i.t. men's basketball tournament, which means that i will also have to host the show completely not giving a (bleep) about the n.i.t. tournament. ( applause ) o

larry wilmore. that was it here is your moment of zen. >> newt gingrich in his gradual rise in the polls has turned into a surge. >> he wasn't the perfect husband did things that were wrongxd asked god's forgiveness. i think a lot o captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> larry: tonightly, hillary clinton's running for president -- unstoppable force, meet immovable object! she kicks off her campaign by telling america, "it's your time." and by "your time," she means "my time"! who will fight hillary for the democratic nomination? seriously, who's in, because she will cut a bitch. smile like you mean it and claw your way to the top! this is the "the nightly show"! let's do this! (cheers and applause) ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central >> larry: yeah! thank you very much! man! welcome to the "the nightly show." i'm larry wilmore. whoo! man! big day yesterday, the most powerful woman in politics returned to the scene in a big way. we have

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from the wilmore online university. wilmore online. we'll be right back.pass me a kickstart. [pop top opens] ♪ hi! ♪ ♪ [crash] ♪ [thud] mountain dew kickstart. with two new flavors that taste good. all these networks keep making different claims. it gets confusing. fastest, the strongest the most in-your-face-est. it sounds like some weird multiple choice test. yea, but do i pick a, b, or c. for me it's all of the above. i pick, like the best of everything. verizon. i didn't. i picked a. maybe c. and how'd that work out for you? not so well. can i get a do-over? why settle for less when you can have, well, everything. and get 2 lines for $100. verizon. [ upbeat music playing ] we all scream for ice cream flavored iced coffees from dunkin' donuts -- try the delicious new rocky road butter pecan and cookie dough flavors today! america runs on dunkin'. what do you think? when i first sit in the seat it makes me think of a bmw. i feel like i'm in a lexus. you would think that this was a brand new audi. it's like a luxury car. feels kind of like an infinity. ve

i'm your host, larry wilmore.orry it looks like i've been crying but you know, the truth is i have. i got-- guys, i got really, really, really bad news today, and i just wanted to share it with everyone. um, zayn is leaving one direction. ( laughter ) ( applause ) when i heard i locked myself in my dressing room. i wasn't going to come out-- until my producer said, "larry, what would zayn do? he would do the show." , of course, until he decide to stop, and then-- ( applause ) i'm better. all right, i'm better! better. all right. here we go. we begin tonight with 13-year-old sports phenom mo'ne davis an all-star little league pitcher who was recently entrenched in a controversy. >> the 13-year-old sphe nom who inspired a disney movie is standing up for a college athlete who tweeted something newscaster and horrific about her. his tweet said, disney is making a movie about mo'ne davis. what a joke. that shut got rocked by nevada. >> that is offensive. that's not even what shut means. i mean look, like most people sl

. >>> coming up after your local news on cbs news larry wilmore hoeftss the comedy central show.elin. this is the "cbs morning news." your skin could bounce back like it used to? new neutrogena hydro boost water gel. with hyaluronic acid it plumps skin cells with intense hydration and locks it in. for supple, hydrated skin. hydro boost. from neutrogena. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ caroline kennedy may work half a world away but she still maintains ties close to the white house. she recently san down for an interview with norah o'donnell of "60 minutes." >> do you have a special relationship with the president? >> well yes. depends on what you mean by special relationship but if i need to talk to him, i can. >> reporter: there's plenty to talk about. what's going on in east asia kennedy believes the story. >> the story is in the middle east. >> you guys are missing the story, okay? >> how? >> what's going on in asia there's so much opportunity for america. there's so much good will toward america. there's economic opportunity. >> reporter: ambassador kennedy is keen on a massive trade deal the bigges

i'm larry wilmore. my mind went blank. i still can't think -- i'm so upset.omorrow morning i'll have ten. that's the way it goes. we've got a few stories tonight as a part of our new segment "rich people are getting away with stuff as usual." (laughter) you know it's true, everybody! first up, rich people are (bleep) on mt. everest. >> mt. everest has a poop problem. >> human waste left by mountaineers on mt. everest is causing pollution and threatening to spread disease. >> the peak has become a fecal time bomb, and the mess is gradually sliding back toward base camp. >> larry: (bleep)! worst avalanche ever! what's going on? i don't even know what's going on anymore! climbing mt. everest is a rich man's game. it is cost up to $1,000, basically for a bougey hike. and now to add insult to injury, these guys are leaving their caviar-laced turds all over the mountain. luckily for us, we have a contact on everest at this very moment. he's hare to the foxley furniture fortune. let's check in with zephyr foxley at everest base camp one. >> zephyr: hello, larry. (ch

my name is larry wilmore. it feels so good to be back, you guys, man. whoo. >> i thought you might have noticed we were on vacation last week. big changes happened while we were gone. we got a new table. do you guys like it new table. >> very nice. before we get to tonight's top story, though, let's check in with our big march madness contest. >> larry wilmore march madness 2015 it is. >> hey, everybody, it is strictly boner time right now, the situation is intense, all right? >> you guys know what i am talking about. tonight, the game between duke and wisconsin -- >> by the way, i want to personally thank wisconsin for beating kentucky, okay? [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. thank you very much. i did not want to get baby birded. all right? mmm mmm, mmm, mmm. >> actually, it doesn't look that bad, actually. >> now if wisconsin wins tonightly host the show in a suit of armor, okay? and if duke wins i will host in spandex. oh,, no are you kidding me? no, no, no no. >> either way i am paying off the bet this thursday. okay? so you will definitely wan

laugh(laughter) larry wilmore? i dropped him into a volcano. i am the evil dr.oying the white man with each flick of the wrist. each of our panelists has an envelope in front of them and inside they'll find their superhero name, their two superpowers and their one weakness. but dr. race card isn't going to make it easy for these heroes. i'm going to give them each a scenario that will hopefully crush them. if they defeat me, they get a little "keep it 100" cape -- very cute -- (cheers and applause) and if i defeat them, which i will, i will turn you back into an ordinary, puny human with my ray gun of doom! (laughter) >> i feel like this is how -- >> larry: quiet! silence! (laughter) the one they call sana, reveal your secret identity! >> okay, my secret identity -- >> larry: read it, please. i am the twizzler. i have the power to create anything out of licorice. my kryptonite: hippopotami. >> larry: that would be the plural of hip hippopotamus! or something like that. (laughter) >> larry: twizzler, i've captured ms. marvel and pushed her into my patented hippo

larry wilmore.>> newt gingrich in his gradual rise in the polls has turned into a surge. >> he wasn't the perfect husband did things that were wrongxd asked god's forgiveness. i think a lot o captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> larry: tonightly, hillary clinton's running for president -- unstoppable force, meet immovable object! she kicks off her campaign by telling america, "it's your time." and by "your time," she means "my time"! who will fight hillary for the democratic nomination? seriously, who's in, because she will cut a bitch. smile like you mean it and claw your way to the top! this is the "the nightly show"! let's do this! (cheers and applause) ♪

larry wilmore.ingrich in his gradual rise in the polls has turned into a surge. >> he wasn't the perfect husband did things that were wrongxd asked god's forgiveness. i think a lot o >>> oh! ♪ >> was that two or three flips? [ laughter ] welcome to tosh.0. yes, i am aware that i am the gayer version of jeff lewis. [ laughter ] tonight on the show, we get "the angry black preacher" to repent. i show you the best way to blow off steam at work. and i burn 1,500 books. now let's go back and watch his face stick the landing. >> oh! >> thanks, bp. because of you, kids are now forced to dive head-first into dry sand. alright, buddy. catch your breath. maybe play some pro kadima for a while. you familiar with pro kadima? that's my favorite brand of paddle ball. by the way, is the sand in the lifeguard's jurisdiction? ♪ they're coming. that song means they're coming.

welcome to the "nightly show" i'm larry wilmore. now another presidential candidate has announced for 2016. we jump into the on going election coverage. roll that intro. ♪ >> larry: ya. wooo! i can not wait, man. so, who is promising to denegrofy 1600 pennsylvania avenue now? >> today i announce with god's help liberty lovers everywhere that i am putting myself forward as a candidate for president of the united states of america. [laughing] >> larry: i'm putting myself forward? no one else put me forward. no it was me. i'm responsible for this bad idea. even the liberty lovers told me not to run. they refuse to put me forward. they tried to put me back. not really sure why i gave them a shout out. so how is he selling the putting forward of himself? >> paul has released his campaign logo and slogan. defeat the washington machine. unleash the american dream. >> larry: unleash. it's the american dream not the kraken. unleash. if you want a bad ass kraken vive. how about defeat washington bloat slash washington's vote. come on. oh wait

i'm larry wilmore. whoo! man!ig day yesterday, the most powerful woman in politics returned to the scene in a big way. we have been expecting to hear from her, and, wow, she really came out strong. >> i'm not a politician. i'm a queen. >> larry: ok, that's khaleesi from "game of thrones," but hillary clinton also announced she's seeking the crown yesterday. >> i'm running for president. (laughter) >> larry: look, hillary's not that far off from khaleesi. i'm sure she would also say something like this -- >> and i will take what is mine. with fire and blood i will take it. (laughter) >> larry: i smell a campaign slogan! (cheers and applause) >> i will take what is mine. this does make sense. both hillary and khaleesi feel like they have a birthright to the throne and feel like their kingdom was stolen from them a few years ago. they've both been through a lot, starting with their strategic marriages to horny warlords. they both spent years struggling in a land of spiteful, barbaric horsepeople. but the reason they

i'm larry wilmore. tonight, big show tonight. thank you. we're talking about the devastating events in baltimore. let's get right to it. >> right now the governor of maryland declares a state of emergency, activeathy the national guard after baltimore erupts in violence overnight. a citywide curfew has been imposed, school canceled. >> larry: yay! school canceled! ( laughter ) ( applause ) because noct says public safety like 20,000 teenagers with nothing to do in the middle of a tuesday. ( applause ) that's not gonna be good. the news coverage has been none stop, and some reporters seem to be a little out of their element in the charm city. >> you just saw a hair-- you knowa-- a-- a weave store, a hair store. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> larry: don't worry anderson cooper. you can see "weave store." it's not the "n" word. cnn's plucky kid reporter don lemon, on the other hand, he just needs to stop trying. even the governor of maryland and the mayor of baltimore walked away when don tried to suggest they weren't handling the riots well. >>

i'm larry wilmore. tonight, big show tonight. thank you.t the devastating events in ba

i'm larry wilmore. lots of stuff happening.bviously there's a huge story coming out of baltimore now. everyone stay safe. we'll talk about it later in the show but we'll have full coverage on tomorrow night'syob8show. but let's begin with the white house correspondents dinner on saturday night -- that annual event washington insiders call "nerd prom." >> the annual dinner brings together journalists who cover the white house with politicians, hollywood a-listers. >> larry: it's all kind of disgusting, if you ask me. bunch of washington elite partying together, while real people in this country are struggling. talk about a bunch of pompous idiots. (laughter) (cheers and applause) it was fun, man! you guys should have been there man! first time i've ever been invited to one of these things. had to check it out myself. all right, and now i need a transition. oh, speaking of transitions, this weekend diane sawyer turned my world upside down by interviewing bruce jenner. i'm still completely shocked by what she got him to admit. >>

i am larry wilmore. the suspense is broken. as you may know in our top news tonight, a jury is currently deliberating the punishment for boston bomber and "rolling stone" cover model, dzhokhar tsarnaev. >> guilty on all 30 counts. that was the jury's unanimous decision earlier this week in the boston marathon bombing case against dzhokhar tsarnaev. >> larry: wow! 30 counts. man. those are cosby numbers. ( laughter ) ( applause ) that's right, ( bleep ). i haven't forgotten about you. just sayin'. i haven't forgot forgotten. now, among the victims a girl and boy and 264 injured and 17 lost limbs and he was caught on video doing it. and check out his defense. >> defense attorney judy clarke argued that tsarnaev chose that spot not to target kids but because there was a tree there. ( laughter ). >> larry: yeah ( bleep ) trees. ( laughter ) okay. sentencing time. >> next week, the jury begins deliberations on a much tougher question-- should tsarnaev be put to death for this? >> larry: well, the death penalty. wow. this is actually

(cheers and applause) >> jon: that is all we check in first with larry wilmore at the nightly show. see you how was the week be. >> fine fine jon nothing to report. i definitely didn't see you at the movie theater on saturday going to a 2:30 showing of paul blart 2. (laughter) >> jon: if you had seen me there wouldn't that mean that you were there at paul blart 2 as well? >> no. i was there to see woman in gold. >> jon: oh really. >> the film about a woman trying to reclaim herr taj. >> jon: that is an impressive film. what was your favorite part of that film larry? >> when the woman in gold was chasing bad guys through the mall and fell off her segue into a big double mar nara sauce. >> jon: that was hilarious i enjoyed that part as well. have a good show my man. that is our show, by the way august 6th you can still be a part of it if you check out daily show, you can enter come in here all the money goes towards the night of too many stars autism education program which is a really worthwhile cause and very necessary so we really appreciate your support on that. you guys have been

i'm larry wilmore. tonight we're doing something special.e're going on break next week, and there are a ton of stories in the news that we'd love to cover at length, but we just don't have the time. so we're gonna hit 'em and quit 'em. it's time for "stuff that can't fill a whole show but we wanted to get in before we go on break." ♪ (applause) let's do this! topic randomizer, give us our first story! go! oh! people joining i.s.i.s. yeah, this is crazy. just today, two national guardsmen were caught trying to join i.s.i.s. this keeps going on! a few weeks ago, there was a guy in the air force. but the one i really can't wrap my head around is this. >> younger and younger teenagers are going off to fight with i.s.i.s. 15-year-old school girls disappearing off into syria. >> larry: fifteen?! see, this is what happens in the 21st century when you're trying to piss off your parents and there are no black guys in town to sleep with. (laughter) (applause) i'm just sayin'... maybe this makes sense. i mean, all kids like to rebel against their paren

i'm larry wilmore.

i'm larry wilmore. before we get started i didn't want to mention this but i feel like i have to.ast night i'm at home right. trying to figure out something to watch. so naturally i hit the "tv guide" channel and notice that "tv guide" lists the nightly show like this on the on screen guide, absolutely true. really, "tv guide"? you couldn't even fit the h in. that h would go a long way right! i mean-- maybe make the font a little smaller. how about that. you don't need three dot how about two dots. put the h in whatever, "tv guide". i'm done with you. "tv guide" we have a show for three months and already right? anyway moving on. its he wednesday so i'm sure you're all thinking what is going on with suge. i know. me too. all right? so first the back story from january. >> knight driving the red pickup, the truck reverses striking sloan then hits terri carter and leaves the scene. >> larry: okay guy calm down. in all honesty, a typical thursday for shuing all right. (laughter) -- for suge. in l.a. even killers have to get that spin class in and look good for their mug shots, all ri

i'm larry wilmore. and we are in day two of our continuing coverage of the unrest in baltimore. and it feels lick there's been a little rest in the unrest in the last 24 hours. but you know i got something on cnn last night that really stood out. here say report that aired about ten minutes after the 10 p.m. curfew. see if you notice something missing from this picture. and hint it's not missing yet. >> would you have do you think that is the right thing? >> there is no easy answer to that. what it appears to be that baltimore is trying to do-- is do something a little different here not be as confrontational but of course they know they got to get the pition done. >> okay so at this point what do you do? do you go in and start arresting people? >> i think they do just what they're doing right now. (laughter) >> larry: did you see that? the brother just disappeared. you saw that. it was a brother walking there okay, wait, let's watch it one mohr time okay? all right there is the past curfew brother, he is just doing a little harmless cop hassles. look at this that is a hum v blo