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wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint!t's disappearing as i am chewing it. where did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. there's only one way to get a gold ps4... ♪ ...and that, is not it. grab a quesarito or volcano quesarito big box for your chance to win a limited edition gold ps4 bundle, only at taco bell. [bong] (cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." a little update for you now on presidential candidate ben carson. as we discussed yesterday, if you've been recently murdered in mass shooting, carson has some constructive criticism for you. >> i would not just stand there and let them shoot me. i would say, hey, guys, everybody attack them. he may shoot me but he can't get us all. >> take action. (laughter) >> trevor: that's right (laughter) hey, guys, show of hands who, 's in for rushing the gunman. one, two, three -- gunman, hold on, i'm counting the people -- four -- susan, is that a hand? put it up or down, susan. i need clarity, pleas
wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint!t's disappearing as i am chewing it. where did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. there's only one way to get a gold ps4... ♪ ...and that, is not it. grab a quesarito or volcano quesarito big box for your chance to win a limited edition gold ps4 bundle, only at taco bell. [bong] (cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." a...
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wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint!s disappearing as i am chewing it. where did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. what beer we drinkin'? i don't know boss... what about that redd's apple ale? you're a genius, tiny! this apple sauce is the bee's knees. the cat's pajamas! hits ya right in the kisser! emm. redd's apple ale. also in strawberry and green apple. (cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! since taking this job, i have been on a steady diet of news, journalism and rotting three-week-old spinach. so far, the spinach has been the easiest part. but is there any way to improve our quality of reporting? hasan minhaj checked in on some recent advances. >> this is the golden age of journalism! today's reporters know that personality matters more than training and that facts shouldn't get in the way of a good story. but now, these super hero journalists are at risk of being replaced. "new york times" columnist barbara. >> there is a threat
wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint!s disappearing as i am chewing it. where did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. what beer we drinkin'? i don't know boss... what about that redd's apple ale? you're a genius, tiny! this apple sauce is the bee's knees. the cat's pajamas! hits ya right in the kisser! emm. redd's apple ale. also in strawberry and green apple. (cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome...
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wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint!aring as i am chewing it. where did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. (dootrick or treat! mmm! thank you! mmm! mmm! there's a network that never stops improving. that's grown faster than any other, covering nearly every american... and these geese. but it's not who you think. squawk! it's t-mobile. our new extended range lte signal reaches twice as far... and is four times better in buildings. think you know our lte coverage? think again! see for yourself at t-mobile.com/coverage ( cheers and applause ). >> larry: that's our show. i want to thank our panelists: jordan carlos, bobcat goldthwait and shannon devido. and thanks to roni dean-burren for being here. stay tuned for "@midnight" with my man chris hardwick. goodnightly, everyone! captioning sponsored by comedy central it's 121:59 and 59 second, this happened on "new york times".com am an international debate is raging over what we should called "@" sign proving that nerds ca
wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint!aring as i am chewing it. where did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. (dootrick or treat! mmm! thank you! mmm! mmm! there's a network that never stops improving. that's grown faster than any other, covering nearly every american... and these geese. but it's not who you think. squawk! it's t-mobile. our new extended range lte signal reaches twice as far... and is four...
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wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint!s disappearing as i am chewing it. where did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. now with the new paper mate inkjoy 2in1 stylus pen, you can bring joy to your tablet and your writing. the new 2in1 paper mate inkjoy stylus pen. coochie, coochi, coo! he so has your peanut butter. well, he's got your jelly. time for a feeding. no!!! ah jam it! crazy good! [just go ahead and take any weempty seat you see... [coughing and sneezing] i hope it's not contagious. [playing flute] ♪ so i do have it. ♪ ♪ [music stops abruptly] ♪ when your mom wakes up, can you tell her about me? they use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] it's about to get juicy. whoo! i feel so aliii... it takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. unexplainably juicy. they nee[hair dryer]ake up. hey ladies. whatever you need, whenever you need it, check yelp first. we know just the place. hey, wha okay, that it? that'll do it. ex
wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint!s disappearing as i am chewing it. where did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. now with the new paper mate inkjoy 2in1 stylus pen, you can bring joy to your tablet and your writing. the new 2in1 paper mate inkjoy stylus pen. coochie, coochi, coo! he so has your peanut butter. well, he's got your jelly. time for a feeding. no!!! ah jam it! crazy good! [just go ahead...
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wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint! did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. i ask it what kind of wings i should have and it tells me. i wanna ask it a question. i got like 2% battery. you have battery in a ring? all i know is, like, no, you can't use it. 100% all white meat boneless chicken wings in six delicious flavors. (clicks) i'm s(ding)g. we've been compromised! don't let hunger kill your game. hot pockets brings you new snack bites. bite-size hot pockets sandwiches with 100% real cheese. guys, i'm back! new snack bites from... (ding) ♪ hot pockets! rma. checking your credit score is for chumps. i have great credit. how do you know? duh. you know those change, right? tattoos don't change. try credit karma. it's free and you can see what your score is right now. aren't you a little bit curious? i just got my free credit score! credit karma. really free credit scores. really free. i have got to update my ink. the middle seat sucks. the middle seat sucks more wit
wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint! did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. i ask it what kind of wings i should have and it tells me. i wanna ask it a question. i got like 2% battery. you have battery in a ring? all i know is, like, no, you can't use it. 100% all white meat boneless chicken wings in six delicious flavors. (clicks) i'm s(ding)g. we've been compromised! don't let hunger kill your game....
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wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint!re did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. warning. this commercial contains brief moments of product nudity. stripped of chocolate. its peanuts exposed around a soft caramel center. a payday bar will get you through your day. expose yourself to payday. i'm s(ding)g. we've been compromised! don't let hunger kill your game. hot pockets brings you new snack bites. bite-size hot pockets sandwiches with 100% real cheese. guys, i'm back! new snack bites from... (ding) ♪ hot pockets! my doctor says i havey, what's skittles pox. are they contagious? i don't think so. contract the rainbow! taste the rainbow! ( cheers and applause ). >> larry: that's our show. i want to thank our panelists jessica kirson, john avlon, and joey badass. watch when jay leno will be here. good nightly everyone. man: come out, come out, wherever you are! where is that little joker? breathe deep, mrs. dunne. that's it. that's it. push.
wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint!re did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. warning. this commercial contains brief moments of product nudity. stripped of chocolate. its peanuts exposed around a soft caramel center. a payday bar will get you through your day. expose yourself to payday. i'm s(ding)g. we've been compromised! don't let hunger kill your game. hot pockets brings you new snack bites....
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wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint!s disappearing as i am chewing it. where did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. they use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] it's about to get juicy. whoo! i feel so aliii... it takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. unexplainably juicy. i just want to take a vacation. redeem our hotel points. it takes guts. this seems crazy. tell us something we don't know, captain obvious. ok. with hotels.com, when you collect 10 nights you get one free. oh. and this room smells like cat food and sadness. of our burgers with free refills nighof fries for just $6.99. yup, you'll finally look forward to mondays with our biggest, juiciest deal ever. monday night is $6.99 burger night. new and only at applebee's. subito! nooooo! oooh. grrr. the all-new fiat 500x crossover. featuring an available uconnect system with a 6.5" touchscreen and available all-wheel drive, well-rounded has never looked so sha
wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint!s disappearing as i am chewing it. where did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. they use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] it's about to get juicy. whoo! i feel so aliii... it takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. unexplainably juicy. i just want to take a vacation. redeem our hotel points. it takes guts. this seems...
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wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint!earing as i am chewing it. where did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. hey buddy... what can i getcha? 1, 2, 3... redd's apple ale. [ding, ding] redd's apple ale. also in strawberry and green apple. anybody else? ( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." late last week chinese president xi jinping was in washington for a state dinner and high-level security meetings with president obama and as presidents of the one of the most powerful nations in the world when xi jinping talks, it's no laughing matter. >> ( translated ): we have the right to uphold our own territorial sovereignty and lawful and legitimate maritime rights and interests. >> trevor: okay, i'm sorry, that's a little funny. just to be clear, we did not give that interpreter that awesome voice. no, that was al-jazeera that decide the president of china should sound like he's in an allstate commercial. i'm done. i'm done. let's hear what he h
wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint!earing as i am chewing it. where did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. hey buddy... what can i getcha? 1, 2, 3... redd's apple ale. [ding, ding] redd's apple ale. also in strawberry and green apple. anybody else? ( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." late last week chinese president xi jinping was in washington for a...
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wooh. that' s intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it' s totally a mint! it' s disappearing as i am chewing it. where did it go? it' s not a gum. not a mint. it' s a totally new cool. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night" and please join me in giving it up for the 8g band. thank you guys for being here each and every night. [ cheers and applause ] now, often times, i will tell a story on this show, oftentimes it will be a story about my wife and i and what happened with some of the executives here at nbc. well, they think these stories aren't as exciting as they could be. so, in order to get some extra showmanship, nbc has hired a hypeman to make my stories more exciting. [ laughter ] so, please welcome out scoot. [ cheers and applause ] >> yo, yo, yo, it's scoot. >> seth: well, thank you for being here, scoot! >> nbc for life! >> seth: so, i guess, the way it works, is i just tell my story. >> are y'all ready to hear the back-ular, face smack- ular story of all-time? [ cheers and applause ] >> i said are y'all ready to hear the mos
wooh. that' s intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it' s totally a mint! it' s disappearing as i am chewing it. where did it go? it' s not a gum. not a mint. it' s a totally new cool. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night" and please join me in giving it up for the 8g band. thank you guys for being here each and every night. [ cheers and applause ] now, often times, i will tell a story on this show, oftentimes it will be a story about my wife and i and...