and xolo mariduena! this is "the daily show," with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: hey, what's going on everybody? welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for tuning in, and thank you for coming out in person. thank you for being here, everybody. thank you so much for being here. we have got a wild show for you tonight. take a seat. let's get into it. donald trump is professor "x." the new york subway is about to replace "house of dragon" as your favorite show. and we'll find out why russians are all going on vacation at the same time. so let's do this, people. let's jump straight into today's headlines. ( applause ) >> trevor: all right, i'm going to be honest with all the news that happened today, i don't think we have enough space in today's show. i'm-- i'm really sorry. you know, it's too much-- no, it's like we were at an all-you-can-eat news buffet, and there are only so many stories your mom can fit in her purse while the waitress is not looking. there's jus