do you really think i'd fall for an old gag like that? you mean, you--? you--? you knew that i was trying to make you jealous, and you let me go on with it? e the part where he wanted a big wedding, and you wanted me to give you away. [chuckling] ooh! what would you've done if i let you go through with that wedding? you'd be very much up in the air, young lady. [growls] [moaning] get me down. come on! [laughs] tony: knock it off, will ya? [yelling] taled new car. the guy says you picked the wrong insurance plan. no, i picked the wrong insurance company. with liberty mutual new car replacement?, you won't have to worry about replacing your car because you'll get the full value back including depreciation. and if you have more than one liberty mutual policy, you qualify for a multi-policy discount, saving you money on your car and home coverage. call for a free quote today. liberty stands with you?. oh! we got a first down. announcer [over tv]: ball at the 33-yard line... [announcer speaking indistinctly] master, it is such a lovely day out. why do we not go for a

you think you have won, you see, i thought of this. i too have posted a bounty. ( coughing ) no, father. oh, no. haven't you done enough, daimler? let her have him. i'm sorry. i didn't want it to be this way. you must not go with him. there is nothing you can do. your father's men will kill him. do you care what happens to him? it's not daimler i'm worried about. do you want charley two hawks and the others to be hunted down like your father was? they will not kill him. ( gunshot ) ( gunshot ) ( gunshot ) ( man howls ) come out. come out. - ( man howling ) - you dirty, stinkin'-- ( gunshots ) - give a man a chance! - ( gunshots ) ( man howling ) come out. ( men howling ) ( gun clicks ) what did you do to him? now the hunter knows what it is like to be hunted. i have collected the bounty. what bounty? i would have killed him, but my white brother hernandez forbid this. this man has made many enemies. they are afraid of the swiftness of his gun. they no longer will be afraid. what was the bounty? ? ?? (thunder crashing) (classical music

do. >> okay. >> so, you know, you get on stage and you do speeches every day. i want to talk about donald trump, the guy who became what you are today and how that happened. but it's going to be told through objects that span from your childhood until now. >> okay. >> so i would like to start. i'm going to go pick a picture. i'm going to find you young and i'll be right back. >> okay. >> i'm assuming this is you. >> yep. >> so how old were you then. >> what do you think? it looks like 3, maybe 3. >> were you rich then. >> yeah, my father was a builder. >> right. >> and he was a very good builder too, he knew how to build a house. people still tell me, i live in a house your father built. >> did you live opulently as a kid? >> it was a great environment. but it was a little bit different than today, but a great environment. >> why? because you are a very manhattan kind of guy. >> i grew up overlooking central park and now when i go there, it seems kind of quaint. >> i don't think of you as a quaint guy. >> utopia park, it's a great exit. so i'll stop and take a

you know when you meet somebody, and then you start realizing that she is as sweet as you think she is? >> yeah. >> and then it's a revelation to you, so on thanksgiving i said, "i'm going to go trick or treating with my kids," and she said, "oh." >> why would you go on thanksgiving? [ laughter ] >> because i made a mistake. how sweet of you to mention it. [ laughter ] >> i thought it was a new italian holiday i wasn't familiar with. that you went out later than the rest of us. >> ah, i'm sorry. you went on halloween. >> give me a break. halloween. >> good. >> right. >> that's before thanksgiving. >> yes. [ laughter ] you dirty rat. all right, so anyway. it's that part when you get dressed up funny, and you ask for candy. >> yeah. halloween. >> halloween, so i said, "i'm going to go out trick or treating with my kids," and she said, "can i come," and i said, "really?" well, you know dolly is very recognizable with the hair, and all the rest of her, so-- i'm going to dress up," so anyway. she came to my house. right? she walked in, and i didn't recognize her. she was a pregnant hillbill

you know, lora, i'll tell you one thing for you. you have got a mess. maybe you think we're foolish trying to fix e commissioner. he told me they released a story that your boat was lost in that hurricane. it'll be all right. but, you don't understand, tarzan. someday, sooner or later, the syndicate will find outt what really happened. so what, what can they do? the money's lost, it was burned, they must knkn that. lora's right. she's crazy letting me stay around here. they'll come after me someday, just wait and see. you don't quit their jungle and get away with it. maybe i was crazier when i left you in the first place. i'm not afraid. you know, john, there are all kinds of jungles. maybe we just have to take our chances. but how do you get out? how dodoou get smart enough when you're young enough to get out? maybe you don't. maybe you just learn to live in your jungle like a man, instead of an animal. ? do not interfere, tarzan. this child is dying. i'm taking him to the doctor. i am the doctor of the umbgambi people. i haven't time to argue with you

you do see that, don't you? i appreciate what you're doing for me, but at night i-- you've gotta learn to live with it sometime. i know. but there's something else. you're more than just a foreman here. come and live at the house like i've asked you. - there's a spare-- - the bunkhouse is close by. i want you to stay here. i need you. - i get frightened. - of what? why do you wanna stay away from me, cheyenne? - i told you once. - but my husband's dead now. i'm sorry you didn't understand. it wasn't just your husband. that's untrue. you were holding back because of john. admit it. i've gotta leave if i'm going to-- don't go, cheyenne. come back here. cheyenne, come back. - hi, marty. - howdy, johnny. - did you have a good ride? - it was dandy. come along. what's the matter? sheila? nothing. just a little headache. you going someplace? cheyenne wanted me to go to the alliance meeting. but i couldn't. this headache. besides, it wouldn't be right for me to be seen in public. no. no, it wouldn't. why don't you leave

you heard me, unbuckle your gun. you can put those guns away. they bother you? ff and i'm wearin' a new shirt. that's right funny now. give me that wallet. why not? it's not mine. i already know that. take a lookk at his gun, todd. hammer. i've known people to get a hole in their leg that way. we're not interested in your explanations. you see, logan was a friend of ours. who's logan? you ought totonow, you just shot him. you're kinda goin' off half-cocked, aren't you, mister? i haven't shot anybody. well, i don't see anyone else around. i see a lot of country around here. somebody could've hit him before you got here. you're packin' a gun with one chamber fired llet. i guess that's all we need. now, get on your horse. where we goin'? laramie. you're the law around here? we'll turn you over to the law. you'll get a trial. this, uh, logan he have many friends like you in laramie? quite a few. you object to coming along with us? ? oh my darling oh my darling ? ? ...lin', clementine ? [cocks gun] [gunshot] 'that's far enough.' throw your guns down on the ground. [g

>> oh, you bad, bad, bad boy. shame on you. shame on you! >> what are you doin' here? >> i'm taking a walk, if it's any of your-- >> just a minute. something's wrong in here. >> hey, pancho, get me his gun over there. you're due for a hanging, my friend. the gun is mine. >> that will not be very difficult, after we round up your men. >> why you do all that, cisco? >> our friend over here knew that the railroad was coming through buffalo flats. naturally, the prices of the land will boost sky-high. he wanted to take over the whole town. >> how you know that? >> it's all there in that engineer's map you found. >> freeze and make it quick. >> he went out the back way. >> here is the map. >> okay. give me your hand! give me your hand! >> (screams) >> hello, loco. you and diablo been good friends, huh? that's a good boy. here, that's one for you, loco, huh? and one for you, jacko. come on, come on. now, eat, jacko. come on, eat, eat. no, yodo here, jacko, here's a little taste. here, taste, here. oh, look, we got visitor people, eh? >> well, pancho, let's be on our way. >>

you, you dummy, you! ( tooting ) my brother-in-law put you up to this, right? he sent you two up here to get even with me for having a sister who turned to fat, right? look, officer, as soon as we get home, we'll send you a check. hmm? honest injun, swear on a pigeon. ha ha ha ha ha. that's funny. yeah, that's very funny. as a matter of fact, it's so funny, i'm gonna let you try it out on the judge at 8:00 tomorrow morning. tomorrow morning? i'm not spending any time in any crummy motel around here. do you think i'd let you gentlemen spend any time in any crummy motel around here? no. no, not on your life. no. in the clink. if you don't mind. i don't believe it, i just don't believe it. oh, please, believe it. my reputation as a crime fighter is at stake. now, officer, look. ha ha. obviously, there's been some little misunderstanding here. ah. and this is my friend walter findlay. he's a well-known appliance dealer. oh. well, well... well, then, then, tell me something-- if you're--if you're such a big-deal appliance dealer, and you're a doctor, then, how come-

you. you did it. you killed him. what are you saying, girl? you killed him! do you think that? do you think i could take a man's life in cold blood, any man's? he's fading awful fast. only chance he's got is a doctor. oh. father, you've got to do something for him. get some blankets and quilts and some boiling water, and make him comfortable. what do you know about something like this? you do what he says. my father was the best surgeon in dublin. charlie: where are you going? to get my instruments. sid, give wooster a hand and get him under the light. mcdermott, boil some water and get some sheets. come on, hawkes, let's find out who did this. ( metal clanking ) give me back that bag. there's a man dying. no, you don't! ck. he's a doctor. you can't let me stay here to die. i'm hurting bad. oh, stop whimpering. you're not hurt bad. i just winged you, but you better hope that fitzmorgan doesn't die. if he does, mr. carney, i promise you you'll hang. keep an eye on him, bill. try and stop the bleeding. all right. you don't have some brandy? i'll give you some brandy. oh! don't--

and when you sew, you push up, you said you didn't become a tailor until you were 20. you look pretty young. what did you do before that? delivered pizzas, sold cars. how long did it take you to learn how to use a thimble properly? it took close to about a year. i thought a tailor just used a needle and thread. i figured maybe some scissors, but look at this -- e cutting devices, and is this really something you need? yes, it is. does it matter what kind of material you use to make a suit? no, it doesn't matter what kind of fabric you use. measurements stay the same. when you're done finishing the garment on a pair of trousers, you use these scissors here to cut little zigzags. what are the zigzags for? ou notice this end -- it's sort of coming loose. absolutely. hey, wait a second. what is this? have you got some kind of mint here? it's not soap or anything. it's what you call wax -- tailor's chalk. and you use this just to mark a line? yes. and through here, we either guide ourselves on folding the fabric or sewing a straight line. so you're going to make an alterati

if you know >> do you? >> seth: yes. [ laughter ] yeah, we all know. please don't explain it. >> they want to have sex with you because you're on tv. >> seth: that's enough, sheriff. >> come on, seth. cheat on your wife. be somebody. [ laughter ] >> seth: just calm down with the sex stuff. >> oh, i see, seth. maybe you want to have sex with my horse. [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] >> what do you think, seth? you like what you see? >> seth: all right, that's it. sheriff, you and your gross horse, get out of here. >> for an awesome low rate you can get online, anonymous sex is divine. >> seth: get out of here! >> let's book it. yeehaw! [ laughter ] >> seth: we'll be right back with laura jane grace everybody. ? vo: introducing the new motoz droid with moto mods - exclusively on verizon. boom! vo: transform your phone in a snap. with the only next gen network that lets you get the most out of it, because verizon lte advanced delivers 50% faster peak speeds in 450 cities, coast to coast. and get another on

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aren't you glad you came? i wanna talk-- edith, we need you to lead us in the old high school cheer! [grumbling] come on, do the school cheer. i ain't going to cheer for nothing. okay, hit it! one, two, three-- all: fillmore high! fillmore high! h on old fillmore! everybody runs when they hear us roar! fillmore! fillmore! roar! roar! roar! [low-level chattering] do you know what you look like? archie, don't be such a spoilsport. come on! hit it again! we're gonna do it once more. one, two, three, and-- all: fillmore high! fillmore high! everybody runs when they hear us roar! fillmore! fillmore! roar! roar! roar! [cheering] sam! hiya. nice to see you. how about that? my best buddy at school, and he didn't even know me. what do you care? there's plenty to eat. you're, uh... oh, now, wait a minute. you don't know me. my name is archie bunker. see, i ain't one of the reunions here. oh. how's the party going? aw, it's a lot of nothing. they're all waiting for the big class hero, buck evans. that's funny. [laughing]

make sure you have what you need to get the care that's right for you. you have only a few days left. if you miss the deadline, you may have to wait another year before enrolling. call a licensed healthmarkets' agent now. call now. call this number by the deadline... call now. [ music ] [ applause ] we are back. we just have a few seconds to thank everybody. good luck on the olympics this year. >> thanks for having me. >> have a nice night. thank you. [ applause ] [ music ] hi. what you eating there, roy? cheeseburger. murderer! excuse me? how would you like it if a cow was sitting here munching on a royburger? i had an experience this weekend that changed my life. cousin beevo and i went down to my grandmother's farm we saw a calf being born. i took one look into those cute little cow eyes and said, "you know, beevo this calf and i are not that different." there is one difference. the calf would probably do better on the new york times crossword puzzle. that's funny, meat boy. it had a profound effect on me, though. i've become a vegetarian. you? a vege

mother, did florida tell you? tell me what? you mean-- you mean you really are quitting? mm-hmm. i mean, didn't you think that you could come right out and tell me without giving me-- i mean, all this nonsense about change of life and everything? then you really are quitting. that's the general idea. oh, florida. oh... well, i'm happy fo-- i'm really happy for you, florida. ( chuckles ) oh, you're gonna have so much fun taking care of your own house and your own family, living your own life, having-- sit down. i'll make you a martini. oh, no you don't. uh, maybe later? mother. just think florida. maybe you'll have your own housekeeper. you're not gonna cry, are you, mother? ( laughing ) me? cry? why would i cry? carol, c'mon. i'm a grown-up, mature, sensible wom. we'll find someone else. i mean, even though florida said she's leaving in a week, i'm sure she'll stay on longer. you know, 'til we get a-an adequate replacement. maude, it took us six months to find florida. i know, dear. ( singing ) ( both laugh ) florida, what are you doing? my last tango in tuckahoe. this is my "v"

that's what you do what you do what you do what you do for love ? ? there ain't nothing there ain't nothing there ain't nothing i won't do for us ? ? for love it may not be easy this blended family but baby ? ? that's what you do what you do what you do what you do for love ? ? love yeah, yeah ? i know it started with a little drama i hate you had to read it in the paper ? ? but everything's alright with me and your momma ? ? baby everybody here you know adores ya ? ? and i think it's beautiful i think it's perfect i know how hard it gets ? ? but i swear it's worth it that's what you do what you do ? ? what you do what you do for love there ain't nothing there ain't nothing ? ? there ain't nothing i won't do for us for love ? ? it may not be easy this blended family but baby ? ? that's what you do what you do what you do what you do for love ? ? yeah love you do it all ? are you this real my true love cause you're my baby rejoice daily ? ? i believe love could bring us closer than blood ? ? are you this real my true love cause you're my baby rejoice d

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how you doing? hi ya, coach. g under you. i've followed all your records in chicago and i read all about you when you were on the track team here. oh, man! you were something else. incredible! me and hal marshall-- roger, roger. what's your event? oh, he does the 2-minute handshake. roger's gonna help me with my homework. come on, rog. bye, coach. wow! uhh... are--are you done with me? oh, yes. but would you get tweedledum and tweedledumber ble? sure, but how about a quick kiss first? ask 'em. you know, ellie, sometimes, i don't think you realize that you are living in the same house with the great hal marshall. how could i forget? hey, son. hi, pop. mom, why'd you put those 2 white guys they're gonna love this! [talking indistinctly] wow! oh! they're gonna love it! love it! love it! hi, gramps! [screams] laurie, what in the devil is wrong with you? walking into a room where your grandfather is. is he bothering you? ohh! he is my friend! roger, this is my grandpa grady. hi, nice to meet you. i left my notebook in your bedroom

you, cheyenne. thank you. thank you... here, now. he won't bother you again, i promimi you that. i'm sorry. i just can't help it. go ahead and cry, i understand. i don't want to, it--it's just-- sit down over here. turn around, cheyenne, so i can kill ya. it's not what you're thinkin', doonevan. push the woman away. don't hide behind a woman. tom. get outside if you don't wanna see it. i rode over here to help your missus, not t cause her harm. that's right, that other man was here, that foreman, and he was drunk and he was tryin' to-- and cheyenne drove him away. u're not makin' this up? because i'm sayin' it's so. because i'm your wife and i'll tellin' ya it's so. and i wanna know if you trust me. ? i'm obliged to ya, man. i don't think he'll be b bk again. well, we're leavin' here tomorrow anyway. i reckon it's just as well. 'll be trailing south. wishshou folks a lot of luck. we'll miss you, cheyenne. ma'am. r r r r r r rrr r r out there like gold dust. when he's got a fortune just handed to him. what makes you think you could push that herd through to canada when we couldn't

when i talk to you, i want to talk at you. i'm not going to text you and i'm not going to e-mail you, because you can't hear my emotions. if i'm going to call you and curse you out -- >> seth: yeah. >> i'm sorry. i don't mean to be all, you know, muscle face about it. >> seth: that's okay. [ laughter ] i thought, this was a, this was a muscle faced story you were trying to get across. >> i'm sorry. >> seth: do whatever you want with the muscles in your face. this is -- >> i'm sorry. >> seth: this is as much your ow >> thank you, seth. >> seth: you're in the eighth season of your show. do you ever watch it? >> every day. >> seth: you do? i never watch mine. >> wha -- you're lying. >> seth: i'm not. it's on too late. i go to bed. [ laughter ] >> so, yes, but you, you know, because we come on, we're live out of new york at 10:00 a.m. but then we repeat here at 4:00 p.m. and then 5:00 p.m. >> seth: do you ever watch the same episode twice. >> yes. >> seth: oh my god. [ laughter ] >> only because i'm looking for different things. >

that's what makes you unique, you know? you want to be different. you want to be special.always thought-- that made me smarter. that made me better, right? because i could overcome things that a lot of people who were in the same position never had to overcome. >> yeah. ( applause ) >> stephen: well, thank you so much for being here. it's always an honor to talk to you. and i hope we have the chance to have you back again once you leave the white house, because i know that you and your husband will not stop trying to make a change in the world. >> no, absolutely. >> stephen: thank you so much. >> thank you, stephen. >> stephen: "we will rise: michelle obama's mission to educate girls around the world" premieres october 11 on cnn. to find out how you can help support girls' education, go to www.letgirlslearn.gov. we'll be right back with america ferrera. ♪ ♪ ( applause ) ♪ ♪ hi. how can i help? ♪ ♪ i'm hall of famer jerry west and my life is basketball. but that doesn't stop my afib from leaving me at a higher risk of stroke. that'd be devastating. i took warfarin for over

thank you. you did it! you did it! what makes you say that, mind? you just said the personnel director liked you, and you scored high on the i.q. test. when they put my personality profile through the computer, they found out if they left me alone with the doberman, he'd bite my head off and bark down my neck. by the time you come back from your trip, our son will have finally disowned me, so you take care and have a nice time. [ smooches ] would you say no to a lot more money? [excited scream] you just won a million dollars! no thanks. nice balloons, though! or no to more vacation days? ing you an extra week's vacation! oh, ah... nooo. what? no way. who says no to more? time warner cable's all about giving you more. like the most free hd channels and virtually unlimited movies and shows on demand, so you can binge all day. call now. and don't forget the free tv app. get ultra-fast internet with secure home wifi to connect all your devices. saving on mobile data fees, helps big time. free hd channels, 100 meg internet and unlimited calling to half t

and did you recognize yourself when you first saw you? you know what i mean? >> i don't exactly know what you mean, but, yeah, maybe. no, it's just-- you know, i think we have a lot of aspects, and we have a whole world in ourselves, maybe the whole world. and-- and going through different people, different cultures, i just, you know, understanding of the human being. and then of myself. woooo. >> stephen: that's very deep. >> it's-- yeah, i went very deep. ( laughter ) i mean -- oh! >> stephen: thank you for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> stephen: can i kiss you on four cheeks. ( cheers and applause ) "allied" is in theaters next patel. oh caroline. so corporate put you up in a roadside motel. but with directv from at&t, you can download then binge watch your dvr'd shows from anywhere. that makes you more powerful than whatever it is you just stepped in. or that friendly dumpster diver outside. take it with you. now you can watch your dvr anywhere, at no extra cost, with directv from at&t. ? (laughs..) here it is. ? ? hey dad! ? wishes do come tru

>> do you even recall -- do you you know people say you miss out on your own wedding, like you don't actually experience it. do you have --. >> jimmy: i did kind of forgot. i remember, like, going in the hallway right before i was coming out and it was just -- >> no, i have such an unbelievable experience of you in that hallway. never mind your memories. let's talk about mine. >> jimmy: what were your memories? >> what i recall, and what i actually shared with you via e-mail, was i, that it was -- it was an occasion when you would say, yeah, i was there that night. and you were in your dressing room, and we were all in the hall waiting, people really massively -- not me included, massively famous, legends. it was the legends ball. >> jimmy: tina fey. it was everybody. >> lady gaga and mariah carey. >> jimmy: lady gaga and mariah carey. >> she put a hundred dollar bill in her bosom. which i was going to do but that's cool because -- but anyway, it's not about me it's about you a cooler thing. you came out and put it in your shoe and took your shoe off -- yeah, old school. i love it. >

thank you. very nice, thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. thank you really for everything. for those of you who served in because of your service, because of your sacrifice, the only wars most americans will ever have to fight are on facebook. so thank you very much. speaking of facebook, did anyone in our audience get declared dead today? there was some kind of glitch in the facebook algorithm that changed a lot of people's profiles to indicate they were deceased. even mark zuckerberg, the founder of facebook, was pronounced dead. this was real. "remembering mark zucker, find comfort in the things others shared and remembered to celebrate his life." police arrested the wigglevoss twins immediately. is that really what you do when we die? are we supposed to worry about how many like wet got? if someone likes when it you die, is that a good thing? my assistant max was declared dead today. i almost had to pick up a whole anyway. what a perfect end to a perfect week. president-elect trump was in washington, d.c. yesterday.

go to merle norman.com for love seeing you guys. thank you so much. >>> thank you. happy thanksgiving. >> you too. >>> coming up parents when you are divorced a guide to help parents raise happy healthy kids despite the breakup. >>> a psychologist who specializes in kids and families and a divorce attorney who has worked with hundreds of couples >>> welcome back to the morning blend. statistics show that 50% or half of all kids in america will deal with a divorce of their parents. chances are if you are divorced, you're worried about the effect that decision will have on your children. so today, how to coparent with an ex, so you can raise happy healthy kids. >> we called on a couple pros for advice, dr. john duffy a clinical psychologist, best selling author and nationally recognized specialist in kids and also joining us susan hansen practices family law with an emphasis on collaborative divorce and mediation. also the cofounder of a new resource called the family mediation center. thanks for being here you guys. >> thank you for having us. >> this is great. i thi

thank you for coming. won't you sit down? no, no, i've been sitting on horseback for about six hours. that telegram said $500. yeah, that's why i'm here. i want you to stay here till this matter's settled. robinson escaped from the territorial prison

i warn you, this might scare you.

you know that there are ? ? and if you want to be me, be me ? ? and if you want to be you, be you ? re are ? [sexy music] come on! why doesn't verizon offer unlimited data like t-mobile. is it because their lte network was built six years ago? in phone years! their lte network is older, slower, and they limit you. switch to t-mobile, the newer, faster and unlimited network. we cover 99% of the americans verizon covers. get 4 lines just $35 bucks a month. rwoowr. [phone ding] ?? >> jimmy: this is very exciting. last week, i talked about my top four characters on "gilmore girls," and tonight, my top three characters, kirk, luke, and paris are all joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] from "gilmore girls: a year in the life," everyone please welcome scott patterson, liza weil, and sean gunn! [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? >> jimmy: guys, i'm freaking out right now. this is so cool. thank you so much for coming on the show. >> nice to be here. >> jimmy: i appreciate this, and i appreciate -- i got tweets from you guys as well. was just so happy that you all responded. >> i didn't m

as long as you have the jeep you can have the rest of the afternoon off, if you like. >> thank you, sir. >> what about his request to transfer? >> i wouldn't throw it away. bu up. >> he can't beat it.

how are you? adelo: marcus. lemonis: good to see you. adelo: good to see you. lemonis: about a week's gone by. and i felt that i needed to give adelo a chance to understand exactly where my head was at. and so i asked him to come in to my office inside the city. in order to fix this business, it would take about $500,000. the tortilla factory loses money. and it's not compliant. it's a bad idea for you. it's a bad idea for me. adelo: marcus, i mean, i've seen you fix manufacturing. lemonis: i know, buddy. but i just -- it's not something that i think is a good idea. we did the math. i think that you have a lot of heart. i think you're a kick-ass salesperson. i enjoyed my meal with you at the restaurant. i thought the food was great. but i also am a businessperson. i can't throw money into the wind. adelo: i know i could be someone, marcus. lemonis: so do i. i know you can be somebody, too, 'cause i already think you are somebody. and i am willing to take a chance on you. but the kind of partnership that i'm willing to invest in is different than i've ever done.

you can come back whenever you want.e >> while thank you. it's been a long time but one of the questions i always got worlds where is the moste beautiful spot to go to and i have been saying for years holmes county in the autumn is the most beautiful spot in the geographic society finally agreed with me. we made it one tank trip and i would like to close with that one.tr >> it's about 90 miles from cleveland. the holmes county ohio. the epicenter of the world's amish population.out now the good folks here have something else toer brag about. they made the top ten list in the world for the best place to see autumn color. list of ten places in the entire worldco that have the most spectacular colorh in the autumn bottom of each year. holmes county beat out new england and even more exotic lands liketn japan and moscow, russia. there was no surprise to people who lived here who has been photographing the changingh seasons of ohio's amish country for many years.i >> probably in their list of thingst photos that originated from here were maybe qu

you better. wait. you don't really believe he bought those cattle, do you? well, he had a bill of sale. he could write these out by the dozen. all the company requires is some proof of ownership. if there's any trouble, mccanles will be responsible, not us. we know what kind of a man he is. we have to be sensible. mccanles runs this town. if i try to buck him, i'll be out of business in ten minutes. you'll have your self-respect, at least. i haven't bought one head of cattle in the last month. wilfred, i'm afraid. the way you talked up, no one would ever think you were. afraid of what he's doing to you. we don't belong in this town. they're not our kind of people. nobody's good enough for you, jeremy. [cattle lowing] i get 223. well, i counted 226. but since mccanles is kind of sweet on your wife he won't do no bickering. [instrumental music] you seem mighty interested in this herd, mister. i'm always interested in good cattle. best looking stock i've run into in a long time. from time to time. you're wasting your time here, mister. this herd's already been

you know, you only got 9 months. you ain't bugs bunny. you know, fred, i-- i still don't think that lamont is gonna appreciate you finding him a wife through a computer. well, he'll sure appreciate that $7,000. hmm. hey, grady, lookit there. "how to increase your sexual awareness with yogi." no, grady, see, this magazine's about cicely tyson, and that's the kind of girl that lamont likes. you really think so, huh? absolutely. you know-- you know, fred, i saw her on-- on tv, and she was 105 years old. oh, you dumb. that was a role she was playing. she must be...30-ish. 30-ish? boy, she sure let herself go. now, see... sorry to keep you gentlemen waiting, but if you just step over here... mr. sanford, so you're the romeo that's looking for his juliet. no. i'm not a romeo. i'm fredeo. see, my-- my son lamont, he's the romeo, y doing brain surgery. uh, what age is your son? he's, uh-- excuse me a minute. what age should i give her? oh, well, he's 32, ain't he? 32. yeah, right. but...what if, uh, cicely tyson likes an older man? oh. then say h

that's what you said you-- that's what you said you wanted. >> okay. okay. okay. mr. carson has now done what we wanted. >> there you are. >> and, while he was doing it, i was getting-- [ laughter ] >> i'm just-- >> i was getting a pot ready. [ some applause ] i bought-- what i am doing is washing this pot. because this is what you're going to have to put it into. >> we have three minutes, now. okay. >> oh, blimey. would you mind getting that out, for me? >> certainly. how do i-- just pull it out of here? >> no, no, no, no, no. no, turn it upside-down. >> what? >> turn it upside-down. >> turn it upside-down. >> well, sorta like that, yeah. now, if you'd cut me a section of that plant, i will have the pot ready for you, i trust, by the time you've cut through it. >> in other words, i can just, uh-- >> carve me out a piece of cake. >> alrighty. >> that's it. good. go on. [ some laughter ] let the-- let the nice people see what you're doing. >> cutting a-a piece of this fern. >> well, you know, he's done-- [ applause ] >> well, you said like a piece of cake. that's what-

>> thank you. thank you! [ cheers and applause ] i brought you a plateful of brown men. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? you always bring something delicious. i can smell them. >> these are, for me, the best gingerbread men anywhere. i love a gingerbread man. >> jimmy: i got try. >> jimmy: it'd be, like, soft. >> yeah. this is like the right kind of gingerbread. >> jimmy: yeah, i always grew up, i had, like, hard as a a rock. >> yeah, no. [ laughter ] >> this is -- >> jimmy: ginger brittle. >> this is ginger -- yeah! yeah, yeah! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like, ginger brittle cookie. >> now, this is the gingerbread man that's like, "hey, baby." [ laughter ] you like that? >> jimmy: i like that. >> "come on. dunk me in some tea." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: mmm. >> yeah, baby. >> jimmy: oh, that's delicious. >> uh-huh. hey, roots. >> jimmy: and what is this? >> you want some men? yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come here. come here. c some for the roots. >> ginger bread -- oh, yeah. >> jimmy: now, these are delicious. ?? >> m

you, you should be in jail! >> i was really hungry and i ate all your candy. >> no, n r, you idiot! >> i was hungry. i had to go to work. >> we're sorry. are you mad at us? >> i don't want to look at you. >> you don't want to look at me? >> no. >> hey, buddy, guess what? >> i don't want to look at you. >> look at me. i'm just kidding. >> i don't want to look at you! >> i'm we didn't eat it. >> i don't want to look at you! >> okay. >> waah! [ bleep ]! >> jamieson, you can't talk like that. >> i ate all your halloween candy last night. >> it's jimmy kimmel. it's jimmy kimmel. >> it's not jimmy kimmel. >> you're hiding the candy, i've >> candy? >> no, i ate it all. >> well, i'm not mad. i'm not -- i'm not happy, but i'm -- i still love you. >> you still love me? you're not happy but you still love me? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right there you go. thank you, parents. sorry, kids. tonight on the show we have music from keith steinfeld is here, be right back with jake gyllenhaal so stick around! [ cheers a

i want you to know i voted for you. >> jimmy: thank you. >> i voted for you. >> jimmy: i appreciate your support, thank you. garth will be here tomorrow night too. we have a big tomorrow. we're closing down the block behind our theater. if you want to come, go to our website at the bottom of screen, you can't just show up, you have to go to the website, that way we can make sure you don't have bedbugs. we'll get it all set up. garth brooks is with us all night tonight and tomorrow night as well. [ cheers and applause ] you know, donald trump has been getting some big-league congratulatory calls this week. from presidents clinton, george hannah ka bush, the bushes all called. yesterday he heard from the creme de la creme lin himself, russian president vladimir putin called him on the phone. trump said next time he definitely wants to hire a translator because he didn't understand the whole thing. but trump and putin agreed to continue to speak over the telephone and eventually they're going to meet face to face. does this sound like a couple world leaders or two lonely people who just met

come on, you know you want it. you know you want to do it. so, let's do it. sergeant bates calling officer flaherty. come in, sarge. ranks, officer, capeche? capeche. proceed? our assignment is traffic control. our assignment is not drdring bullseyes. our assignment is not getting in uncle john's face. we're part of the scenery. that's a copy. we're supposed to blend in and keep quiet. but bullseye, wasn't that a little funny, huh? see, there's a threat on uncle john's life, right, and i made a little bullseye. i understood. i was laughing but i was not amused. not amused? that's a aopy. it's russo. give me lieutetent goldblume. go ahead. more specific information is the tab on your uncle will take place before 12:00 p.m. seventeen minutes. possibility the attempt will be at the lawn bowling court. that's here, that's now. man: hey, cool it, cool it. try me -- i'll blow his heart away and everybody else's, too. how's it feel, uncle john, huh? you want to get it right now, huh? come on, come on, don't be crcry, will you. easy, take it easy, kid. don't, don't,

three for you, and four for you. i'm going to move three cards for you and four cards for you into his pile of 13 from back here. there's three. and there's four more. now there's 20 cards. three plus four, seven plus your 13. when you pull the pile off of pull it off your heart. does it feel bigger? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> theres no longer 13 cards. count out loud for everybody. >> one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten -- >> oh! >> 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. oh, my gosh. oh, my gosh. i mean, no, no, no. there's no one like that. your special airs this tuesday, you always -- what is the craziest thing that you do in the show? >> there's a couple of crazy things. [ laughter ] >> are we going to find out right now? >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: tuesday night. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> and then there is one that i worked on, which is called the human aquarium. ago, there's a guy that converted his stomach into an aquarium. [ laughter ] y

you hear that? you hear that? truthiness. >>on: that's right. >> stephen: which, according to this article, is "the quality of preferring concepts or facts one wishes to be true, rather than concepts or facts known to be true." for the record, that's not the definition of truthiness, either. where's this article from? nbc? #lyinnbc. ( laughter ) if you want to know what truthiness means, you know who to ask: stephen colbert. "truthiness: noun-- the belief in what you feel tru tbe rather than what the facts will support." now, check out the definition of post-truth: "relating to or denoting circumstances in which objective facts are less influential in shaping public opinion than appeals to emotion and personal belief." i personally believe i'm getting ripped off, but the experts have decided it's the word of the year, so i've got to be gracious about it. post-tru. ( applause ) ( applauds ) but everyone's coping with the results of the election differently, from having a drink before bed, to venting on social media, to screami

whatever you want. what do you think? how old do you think i am? >> 52. >> stephen: okay, ( bleep ) you. all right. i mean, i apologize. i mean, correct. i mean, good for you. good for canada, you. >> sex? >> stephen: sure, yeah. let's do it. >> i'll take that as male. >> stephen: what? >> color of your eyes? >> stephen: tell me what color they are. do you remember? >> dark brown. >> stephen: okay, pretty good. you are a very attentive lover. your eyes are beautiful, they are like jade. >> thank you. >> stephen: they're like polished jade, like precious stones that i found in a tomb in a forgotten valley somewhere in mongolia. and as i held the glistening stones in my hands and run the fresh spring water over them to reveal their agate glory... >> that will not assist you in the application. let's move along. >> stephen: will not, okay. you do have beautiful eyes. >> thank you. any criminal issues we need to be aware of? be aware of. >> any concerns with war crimes or crimes against humanity? >> stephen: i'm not concerned at all. >> and no previous

and if you want to be me, be me ? ? and if you want to be you, be you ? ? 'cause there's a million things to do ? ? you know that there are ? ?? (chuckle) ( ?? ) come on, dad. ? they tell me i'm wrong ? ? to want to stand alongside my, my love ? ? whoa, talkin' 'bout my love ? ? talkin' 'bout my, my love ? you ready, dad? ? whoa-ooh ? ? ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ? ? whoa-ooh ? will your business be ready when growth presents itself? american express open cards can help you take on a new job, or fill a big order or expand your office and take on whatever comes next. find out how american express cards and services what's the best way to get two servings of veggies? v8 or a fancy juice store? ready, go! hi, juice universe? one large rutabaga, with eggplant... done! that's not fair. glad i had a v8. the original way to fuel your day. eucerin has been solving dry skin problems for over 100 years. discover eucerin advanced repair. it moisturizes dry, itchy, rough, skin. for immediate relief and proven 48-hour moisture. ... ...look for eucerin, >>> welcome bac

you have no choice-- you have to. carol-- you can do it if you'll do just exactly as i tell you. all right. now take the scalpel just barely cut it, and make an incision from there to there. right here? yeah. now, easy... that's it. easy. light. that's it. now... now take this and clamp it onto the skin right here. here? just the very edge. own. let your instrument lay. here? yes. now take your scalpel again and cut into that muscle right there. cut the muscle? just enough so you can separate it. right here? that's right. that's enough. that's--that's it. now separate it and see-- easily. don't tear it, just move them apart. well, it did hit that big rib. there are the splinters. there it is, seth. there. do you see it? yeah. now, seth, take this instrument-- this is what you're going after the bullet with-- and go right down intotohe wound. easy. take it very gently. does it feel like you're hitting metal there? yeah, i feel it. all ght. now, very easily turn your-- turn your probe-- that's right, easily-- so that you feel that you're surrounding it. like that? that's right. all

wow. >> you were left -- >> where do you get it? >> yeah. where do you get it? >> not yet. >> it's the prototype. >> oh, right. awesome. >> all right. here's a question -- do you guys think you should date guys who are shorter than you? >> oh, yeah. yeah. >> ooh. really? >> are there guys shorter than you? >> no. exactly. exactly. >> i never yet met that man. >> yeah. >> but she's -- >> what are -- these are couples. nicole kid naan, evening the study says that shorter guys are more confident, because, number one, they let you be who you are, because they're confident enough to be standing next to a tall person. >> a foot taller. >> comfortable with your ambition, intellect and talent. >> what about medium height guys? >> what about regular height guys? are we insecure? >> we got issues? >> your sig cant others shorter or taller than you? raise your hand if it's shorter. >> shorter. >> shorter. >> shorter. >> okay. >> with heels on. >> do you feel intimidated. >> part of it is, if, you know, someone -- if you're significant other is drowning or there's a fire, y

you are sitting on it so you do not have it behind you or restraining you in any way. to bail out, all the canopies had emergency release. so the canopy would go away. there were various ways of getting out. sometimes it had to be whatever it took. but you would normally just kind of get up on your knees and lean over the side and you would go down below the horizontal stabilizer and out. the lower the better, but sometimes you had to get out. if it is on fire, you wanted to get out of it. as most army airplanes were used, not specifically but mostly all in the european theater, because it was mostly land over there. you took off from europe somewhere and went over to germany or from the allied side. there was basically river in between the battles. the navy stuff was a little different. there was a lot of water. they were on boats and things like that. but the army stuff was mostly in the european theater or land-based operations. just like we talked about before p-fo4 being very early of the modern fighters that we had, for world war ii, this was the navy version of