WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:29.000 Green Acres is the place to be. 00:29.000 --> 00:33.000 Far-livin' is the life for me. 00:33.000 --> 00:37.000 Lands spreadin' out so far and wide. 00:37.000 --> 00:41.000 Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside. 00:41.000 --> 00:45.000 New York is where I'd rather stay. 00:45.000 --> 00:49.000 I get allergic smelling hay. 00:49.000 --> 00:53.000 I just adore a penthouse view. 00:53.000 --> 00:58.000 Darling, I love you, but give me Park Avenue. 00:58.000 --> 01:00.000 The chores. 01:00.000 --> 01:02.000 The stores. 01:02.000 --> 01:04.000 Fresh air. 01:04.000 --> 01:05.000 Times Square. 01:05.000 --> 01:07.000 You are my wife. 01:07.000 --> 01:09.000 Goodbye, city life. 01:09.000 --> 01:30.000 Green Acres, we are there. 01:30.000 --> 01:34.000 Well, let's see if you have any temperature, Eunice. 01:34.000 --> 01:36.000 No, she doesn't have any temperature. 01:36.000 --> 01:39.000 Lisa, please, I paid 89 cents for the thermometer. 01:39.000 --> 01:44.000 I'd like to see if it works. 01:44.000 --> 01:46.000 Well, pulse is good. 01:46.000 --> 01:48.000 So is this one. 01:48.000 --> 01:49.000 Lisa. 01:49.000 --> 01:51.000 What do we do now? 01:51.000 --> 01:53.000 How about boiling some water? 01:53.000 --> 01:55.000 I don't think that's her trouble. 01:55.000 --> 01:57.000 No, I'd just like a cup of tea. 01:57.000 --> 01:59.000 You're trying to get rid of me. 01:59.000 --> 02:03.000 Yes. 02:03.000 --> 02:04.000 No temperature. 02:04.000 --> 02:06.000 I told you. 02:06.000 --> 02:07.000 What's wrong with me? 02:07.000 --> 02:10.000 Eunice, you're suffering from a simple case of exhaustion. 02:10.000 --> 02:12.000 There you see, Lisa. 02:12.000 --> 02:14.000 I told you it wasn't anything serious. 02:14.000 --> 02:18.000 You didn't have to come all the way from Hooderville to take care of me. 02:18.000 --> 02:21.000 Oliver was worried about you. 02:21.000 --> 02:22.000 He's her son. 02:22.000 --> 02:23.000 I know. 02:23.000 --> 02:24.000 I delivered him. 02:24.000 --> 02:26.000 To who? 02:26.000 --> 02:28.000 Eunice, you need complete rest. 02:28.000 --> 02:31.000 Now, I suggest you go someplace quiet and just relax. 02:31.000 --> 02:33.000 How about the Riviera? 02:33.000 --> 02:35.000 I could stay with the Duke and Duchess. 02:35.000 --> 02:37.000 You must have rest. 02:37.000 --> 02:40.000 Their parties always break up early. 02:40.000 --> 02:41.000 No parties. 02:41.000 --> 02:45.000 There isn't any place I know that doesn't have parties. 02:45.000 --> 02:47.000 How about coming to Hootersville? 02:47.000 --> 02:50.000 There hasn't been one there since the one they gave for... 02:50.000 --> 02:51.000 Oh, no. 02:51.000 --> 02:53.000 They had to call it off. 02:53.000 --> 02:55.000 They couldn't get any grape juice. 02:55.000 --> 02:56.000 Lisa, I am not... 02:56.000 --> 02:58.000 That's done wonders for Lisa. 02:58.000 --> 03:00.000 Why don't you try it for a week or two? 03:00.000 --> 03:02.000 Oliver would love to have you. 03:02.000 --> 03:03.000 But, Lisa, I don't... 03:03.000 --> 03:05.000 I'll call him. 03:08.000 --> 03:09.000 Hello? 03:09.000 --> 03:10.000 Long distance. 03:10.000 --> 03:12.000 Would you give me Hootersville, please? 03:15.000 --> 03:17.000 They're ringing our phone. 03:17.000 --> 03:19.000 It's on a party line. 03:23.000 --> 03:24.000 Hello? 03:24.000 --> 03:25.000 Oh, hello, Oliver. 03:25.000 --> 03:26.000 Lisa? 03:26.000 --> 03:28.000 How are you, darling? 03:28.000 --> 03:29.000 I'm fine. 03:29.000 --> 03:30.000 Who's this? 03:30.000 --> 03:31.000 Who is this? 03:31.000 --> 03:32.000 Sam Drucker. 03:32.000 --> 03:34.000 Hello, Mr. Drucker. 03:34.000 --> 03:37.000 Mr. Drucker, I'm talking to my wife. 03:37.000 --> 03:38.000 How are you, sweetheart? 03:38.000 --> 03:39.000 Fine, honey. 03:39.000 --> 03:40.000 How are you? 03:40.000 --> 03:42.000 Mrs. Zipfel. 03:42.000 --> 03:44.000 Oh, hello, Mrs. Zipfel. 03:44.000 --> 03:45.000 Mrs. Douglas, where are you? 03:45.000 --> 03:46.000 She's in New York. 03:46.000 --> 03:48.000 What's she doing there? 03:48.000 --> 03:50.000 She went to see my mother. 03:50.000 --> 03:52.000 Oh, how is she? 03:52.000 --> 03:54.000 Please, get off the phone. 03:54.000 --> 03:56.000 But I'm not through talking yet. 03:56.000 --> 03:58.000 I didn't mean you. 03:58.000 --> 04:00.000 Oliver, Mother needs her rest. 04:00.000 --> 04:02.000 I'm bringing her to the farm tomorrow. 04:02.000 --> 04:03.000 Oh, that's a good idea. 04:03.000 --> 04:04.000 What is? 04:04.000 --> 04:06.000 Bringing his mother here. 04:06.000 --> 04:08.000 Do you mind if I talk to my wife? 04:08.000 --> 04:09.000 Hello, Lisa. 04:09.000 --> 04:10.000 Who is this? 04:10.000 --> 04:11.000 It's Oliver. 04:11.000 --> 04:13.000 Oh, hello, darling. 04:13.000 --> 04:16.000 Oh, is that you, Grace? 04:16.000 --> 04:17.000 No, it's my wife. 04:17.000 --> 04:20.000 I didn't know Grace got married. 04:20.000 --> 04:22.000 Mr. Kiley, hang up. 04:22.000 --> 04:24.000 Hello, Grace, or Lisa. 04:24.000 --> 04:27.000 Oliver, Mother wants to talk to you, darling. 04:27.000 --> 04:28.000 Wait a moment. 04:28.000 --> 04:31.000 There you are. 04:31.000 --> 04:32.000 Hello, son. 04:32.000 --> 04:34.000 Mom! 04:34.000 --> 04:36.000 Kylie, I told you to hang up. 04:36.000 --> 04:38.000 I'm talking to my mother. 04:38.000 --> 04:40.000 It's my mother. 04:40.000 --> 04:41.000 How do you feel? 04:41.000 --> 04:43.000 Just fair. 04:43.000 --> 04:44.000 What's wrong with you? 04:44.000 --> 04:45.000 Who is this? 04:45.000 --> 04:47.000 Who is that? 04:47.000 --> 04:49.000 Please, I was talking to my son. 04:49.000 --> 04:50.000 Oliver? 04:50.000 --> 04:52.000 No, Mom, my name's Newt. 04:52.000 --> 04:54.000 Don't you remember? 04:54.000 --> 04:55.000 Look, all you people on the party line, 04:55.000 --> 04:58.000 I'm going to count to three and I want you all to hang up. 04:58.000 --> 05:01.000 One, two, three. 05:01.000 --> 05:02.000 Hello, Mother. 05:02.000 --> 05:03.000 Hello? 05:03.000 --> 05:05.000 Hello? 05:05.000 --> 05:07.000 Sarah, I was talking to my mother. 05:07.000 --> 05:09.000 Will you try to get her back, please? 05:09.000 --> 05:11.000 The line is busy. 05:11.000 --> 05:14.000 Well, keep trying and call me when you get her. 05:14.000 --> 05:16.000 Thank you. 05:16.000 --> 05:18.000 Nept! 05:18.000 --> 05:19.000 Yes? 05:19.000 --> 05:21.000 Here, take these blankets up to your room, will you? 05:21.000 --> 05:22.000 Blankets? 05:22.000 --> 05:23.000 Thanks. 05:23.000 --> 05:26.000 Now I won't have to use those potato sacks anymore. 05:26.000 --> 05:28.000 You don't you... 05:28.000 --> 05:30.000 These are for Mrs. Douglas and me. 05:30.000 --> 05:31.000 We're giving my mother our bedroom, 05:31.000 --> 05:33.000 so we're sleeping up in your room. 05:33.000 --> 05:34.000 Where do I sleep? 05:34.000 --> 05:37.000 You've got a sleeping bag. 05:37.000 --> 05:38.000 Can I use your car tonight? 05:38.000 --> 05:40.000 No. 05:40.000 --> 05:42.000 Then I ain't sleeping in my bag. 05:42.000 --> 05:43.000 Neb, look. 05:43.000 --> 05:45.000 I promised Ophelia I'd take her to a drive-in movie. 05:45.000 --> 05:46.000 Look. 05:46.000 --> 05:49.000 We'll have to stand through two pictures and a short. 05:49.000 --> 05:50.000 Then stay home. 05:50.000 --> 05:52.000 It's triple kino night. 05:52.000 --> 05:53.000 You'll have to wear a refrigerator. 05:53.000 --> 05:54.000 I'm sorry, Neb. 05:54.000 --> 05:57.000 I need the car to pick up my wife and my mother. 05:57.000 --> 06:00.000 Well, okay. 06:00.000 --> 06:02.000 Hey, Mr. Douglas. 06:02.000 --> 06:04.000 How about using the tractor? 06:04.000 --> 06:08.000 Take a tractor to a drive-in movie? 06:08.000 --> 06:09.000 All right. 06:09.000 --> 06:10.000 Take it. 06:10.000 --> 06:12.000 Thanks, Mr. Douglas. 06:17.000 --> 06:20.000 We're here, safe and sound, Mrs. Douglas. 06:20.000 --> 06:21.000 Just like I promised. 06:21.000 --> 06:22.000 It's a miracle. 06:22.000 --> 06:24.000 Good to see you, Mother. 06:24.000 --> 06:26.000 Did you enjoy your trip? 06:26.000 --> 06:28.000 It was excruciating. 06:28.000 --> 06:29.000 Well, thank you. 06:29.000 --> 06:31.000 We always aim to please. 06:31.000 --> 06:32.000 Where's Lisa? 06:32.000 --> 06:34.000 She rode with the engineer. 06:34.000 --> 06:36.000 Yeah, Charlie's showing her how to run the engine. 06:36.000 --> 06:37.000 What is this? 06:37.000 --> 06:39.000 Mrs. Douglas, that's a brake. 06:39.000 --> 06:41.000 Way up here? 06:41.000 --> 06:43.000 How do you step on it? 06:43.000 --> 06:44.000 You don't step on it. 06:44.000 --> 06:45.000 You pull it. 06:45.000 --> 06:49.000 Ah, that's very interesting. 06:49.000 --> 06:52.000 You must do an awful lot of cooking on this train. 06:52.000 --> 06:54.000 You've got such a big oven. 06:54.000 --> 06:55.000 No, that's a firebox. 06:55.000 --> 06:56.000 Oh. 06:56.000 --> 06:57.000 Lisa! 06:57.000 --> 06:58.000 Lisa! 06:58.000 --> 07:00.000 Hello there. 07:00.000 --> 07:01.000 Lisa, will you... 07:01.000 --> 07:03.000 Do you want to hear me hoot the whistle? 07:03.000 --> 07:05.000 No, no, not that. 07:12.000 --> 07:14.000 There, darling. 07:14.000 --> 07:15.000 Now, isn't that better? 07:15.000 --> 07:17.000 Yes, dear, much better. 07:17.000 --> 07:19.000 You can sleep late in the morning. 07:19.000 --> 07:21.000 I told the rooster not to crow. 07:21.000 --> 07:23.000 Oh, thank you. 07:23.000 --> 07:24.000 Good night, darling. 07:24.000 --> 07:25.000 Good night, dear. 07:25.000 --> 07:29.000 If you want us, we're sleeping in Ab's room in the barn. 07:29.000 --> 07:30.000 Sleep well. 07:30.000 --> 07:32.000 Thank you. 07:32.000 --> 08:00.000 Oh. 08:00.000 --> 08:01.000 What's that? 08:01.000 --> 08:03.000 Be right back, Ophelia. 08:03.000 --> 08:06.000 Oh, that's stupid. 08:06.000 --> 08:07.000 Who's stupid? 08:07.000 --> 08:08.000 Ab. 08:08.000 --> 08:10.000 Oh, he came home early. 08:10.000 --> 08:12.000 Of all the idiots. 08:21.000 --> 08:23.000 Oh, still up, huh? 08:23.000 --> 08:24.000 Look. 08:24.000 --> 08:25.000 Glad I didn't wake you. 08:25.000 --> 08:26.000 What do you want? 08:26.000 --> 08:27.000 Can I borrow you a dollar? 08:27.000 --> 08:28.000 A dollar? 08:28.000 --> 08:30.000 You woke me up. 08:30.000 --> 08:31.000 Fifty cents? 08:31.000 --> 08:33.000 Ab, I, uh, can't... 08:33.000 --> 08:35.000 You can't get much to eat for two bits. 08:35.000 --> 08:38.000 And Ophelia's got her heart set on pine coffee. 08:38.000 --> 08:40.000 All right, all right. 08:44.000 --> 08:46.000 Thanks, Mr. Douglas. 08:46.000 --> 08:49.000 All right, and don't wake up Mother when you're leaving. 08:49.000 --> 08:51.000 Oh, about that. 08:51.000 --> 08:52.000 What's the matter with him? 08:52.000 --> 08:55.000 He should feel better than to wake us up in the middle of the... 08:55.000 --> 08:58.000 Ab, what are you doing down there? 08:58.000 --> 09:00.000 Fixing a loose board. 09:00.000 --> 09:02.000 Well, fix it tomorrow. 09:02.000 --> 09:04.000 Okay. 09:04.000 --> 09:06.000 What's that? 09:06.000 --> 09:08.000 Just putting the hammer away. 09:08.000 --> 09:11.000 Oliver! 09:11.000 --> 09:14.000 The phone is ringing. 09:15.000 --> 09:16.000 Oliver! 09:19.000 --> 09:20.000 Oh, my God. 09:20.000 --> 09:21.000 Damn. 09:21.000 --> 09:23.000 I'm forgotten key. 09:26.000 --> 09:28.000 Where has that been? 09:28.000 --> 09:30.000 Get a punch box. 09:30.000 --> 09:31.000 You men look strange. 09:31.000 --> 09:33.000 I know, she's probably an escaped thief. 09:33.000 --> 09:35.000 That's where I was holding it. 09:35.000 --> 09:37.000 Well, I they were gone. 09:37.000 --> 09:38.000 Thank you. 09:53.000 --> 09:54.500 Oliver! 09:54.500 --> 09:56.500 Oliver! 10:10.500 --> 10:12.500 Hello? Hello? 10:16.500 --> 10:17.500 Hello? 10:18.500 --> 10:20.500 Sarah? 10:20.500 --> 10:23.500 You're still trying to get whom in New York? 10:24.500 --> 10:26.500 That's me! 10:28.500 --> 10:31.500 No, I don't want to speak to him, he's still asleep! 10:32.500 --> 10:34.500 I'm in Hooterville. 10:35.500 --> 10:38.500 Well, just cancel the call! 10:46.500 --> 10:48.500 Oliver, did you hear anything? 10:48.500 --> 10:51.500 No, no, no, I'll go back to sleep. 11:07.500 --> 11:09.500 Hey, it's off again! 11:09.500 --> 11:14.500 Mr. Douglas must have had one of those wild bachelor parties while his wife... 11:14.500 --> 11:16.500 She's back! 11:18.500 --> 11:23.500 She must have been partying pretty good herself, look at all those wrinkles she's developed! 11:23.500 --> 11:26.500 Yeah, that city living sure catches up with you. 11:26.500 --> 11:28.500 Why is she wearing that thing under her chin? 11:29.500 --> 11:32.500 I guess her ice bag slipped down. 11:36.500 --> 11:37.500 Who are you? 11:37.500 --> 11:38.500 Who are you? 11:38.500 --> 11:40.500 I'm Mr. Douglas' mother. 11:40.500 --> 11:42.500 Oh, that's why you've got all those wrinkles. 11:43.500 --> 11:45.500 Would you mind getting out of here? 11:46.500 --> 11:47.500 We're supposed to work! 11:47.500 --> 11:50.500 Well, work somewhere else, I need my rest! 11:50.500 --> 11:54.500 Okay, okay, now I know where Mr. Douglas gets his grouchiness from. 11:58.500 --> 11:59.500 Morning, Mr. Douglas. 11:59.500 --> 12:00.500 Howdy doody. 12:00.500 --> 12:01.500 Your mother's here. 12:01.500 --> 12:02.500 Yes, of course, I know. 12:02.500 --> 12:03.500 She threw us out of the bedroom. 12:03.500 --> 12:08.500 Said we were making too much noise, all I did was... 12:09.500 --> 12:11.500 Take it easy, my mother needs the rest. 12:12.500 --> 12:13.500 Oliver, is that you? 12:13.500 --> 12:15.500 Yeah, he'll be right there, Mom. 12:16.500 --> 12:17.500 Get to work. 12:21.500 --> 12:23.500 Good morning, Mother, how did you sleep? 12:23.500 --> 12:25.500 Oh, terrible, Oliver. 12:25.500 --> 12:31.500 First that tractor woke me up, and then I fell off the telephone pole. 12:31.500 --> 12:32.500 The telephone? 12:32.500 --> 12:34.500 Were you walking in your sleep? 12:34.500 --> 12:36.500 No, I don't... 12:36.500 --> 12:40.500 Well, anyway, when I finally dozed off again, those two horrible men came in. 12:40.500 --> 12:41.500 Oh, those aren't men. 12:41.500 --> 12:44.500 Oh, no, no, one of them is, but you see, his brother is... 12:45.500 --> 12:46.500 That is... 12:47.500 --> 12:52.500 I'm sorry you didn't sleep well, but just relax now, you can sleep all day, nothing's going to disturb you. 12:52.500 --> 12:53.500 Thank you. 12:57.500 --> 12:58.500 Oliver! 12:58.500 --> 13:01.500 I'll take care of it. 13:02.500 --> 13:04.500 Hey, what are you... Turn that off! 13:04.500 --> 13:07.500 What did he say? Why did he turn it off? 13:07.500 --> 13:11.500 What for? What did he want him to turn it off for? 13:12.500 --> 13:14.500 No more drilling! 13:17.500 --> 13:19.500 You mean you expect me to sleep up there? 13:19.500 --> 13:21.500 Oh, it will be nice and quiet, Mother. 13:22.500 --> 13:24.500 Come on, good night, Mother. 13:24.500 --> 13:28.500 Oh, dear. 13:38.500 --> 13:41.500 Who left the television set on? 13:41.500 --> 13:46.500 Come on! 13:50.500 --> 13:53.500 Will you please turn off that... 14:07.500 --> 14:09.500 Oliver! Oliver, wake up! 14:09.500 --> 14:12.500 We're being attached by Indians! 14:12.500 --> 14:15.500 Indians? Oh, that's ridiculous! 14:16.500 --> 14:20.500 There aren't any Indians in this part of the country... Oh, yes, there are! 14:23.500 --> 14:25.500 What are you going to do? 14:25.500 --> 14:26.500 See what they're doing here! 14:26.500 --> 14:31.500 Be careful, I've seen those Indians on television, and they might hit you with a homotop. 14:32.500 --> 14:34.500 A tomahawk? 14:34.500 --> 14:39.500 Whatever it is, it hurts. 14:41.500 --> 14:46.500 Wait a minute, what's going on here? Will you stop this silly... 14:46.500 --> 14:48.500 What's that? 14:49.500 --> 14:52.500 Homo noripa. 14:53.500 --> 14:57.500 Hey, what are you thinking? Come down out of there! 14:58.500 --> 15:00.500 What are you doing here, anyway? 15:00.500 --> 15:03.500 Me, Yellow Horse, who are you? 15:03.500 --> 15:07.500 Me, Douglas. I mean, me, Oliver. I'm Mr. Douglas, I own this farm. 15:07.500 --> 15:09.500 You no long belong Haiti. 15:09.500 --> 15:11.500 I bought it from Mr. Haney. 15:11.500 --> 15:14.500 Shoshone, Anya, Haiti! 15:16.500 --> 15:18.500 Now, wait a minute here! 15:18.500 --> 15:24.500 You wait. Me, Chief Yellow Horse, this land, ancient Sioux ceremonial ground. 15:24.500 --> 15:30.500 We camp here each year. We dance bear dance. Bring bears. 15:30.500 --> 15:32.500 Well, there are no bears around here. 15:32.500 --> 15:36.500 We dance, we wait. You'll see. 15:37.500 --> 15:40.500 Well, you can't dance around here. This is my land. 15:41.500 --> 15:43.500 Hello, there. 15:43.500 --> 15:45.500 Howdy. 15:45.500 --> 15:48.500 Be friendly. Would you like to stay for dinner? 15:48.500 --> 15:49.500 Really, sir? 15:49.500 --> 15:51.500 You've got to be friendly, too. 15:51.500 --> 15:54.500 I am not about... Look, I want you off my land. 15:54.500 --> 15:57.500 How you like hit with hamahawk? 15:57.500 --> 15:59.500 Hamahawk? 15:59.500 --> 16:00.500 You Indian? 16:00.500 --> 16:01.500 No! 16:01.500 --> 16:03.500 Then don't tell us. 16:04.500 --> 16:06.500 Oliver, have those savages... 16:07.500 --> 16:09.500 Oh, it's all right, Mother. They're friendly. 16:09.500 --> 16:10.500 Who, her? 16:10.500 --> 16:11.500 Who, who? 16:11.500 --> 16:12.500 Her. 16:12.500 --> 16:14.500 Her, he, Mother. 16:14.500 --> 16:16.500 Her speak good Indian. 16:16.500 --> 16:18.500 Me learn from television. 16:18.500 --> 16:21.500 My mother doesn't feel very well. 16:21.500 --> 16:25.500 Would you mind folding up your teepees and silently stealing away? 16:25.500 --> 16:27.500 We stay. 16:27.500 --> 16:29.500 Have treaty with Haney. 16:29.500 --> 16:32.500 Each year we come, we dance, we go. 16:32.500 --> 16:35.500 Now we return to dance. 16:35.500 --> 16:37.500 No, I... 16:37.500 --> 16:38.500 Oliver? 16:38.500 --> 16:40.500 Don't worry, Mother. It's all right. 16:40.500 --> 16:43.500 Me go make you hot cake for breakfast. 16:43.500 --> 16:47.500 Fine. I need those like I need a hamahawk in my head. 16:57.500 --> 16:58.500 Ah, morning, Mr. Douglas. 16:58.500 --> 17:00.500 Ah, Kimmel. 17:01.500 --> 17:04.500 Well, I sue the seer here again. 17:05.500 --> 17:06.500 Don't make that, uh... 17:06.500 --> 17:08.500 I see the sewer here again. 17:08.500 --> 17:10.500 Yes, that has a better ring to it. 17:10.500 --> 17:11.500 Well, not a ring. 17:11.500 --> 17:15.500 Mr. Kimmel, do you know anything about these Indians? 17:15.500 --> 17:16.500 Well, let's see, uh... 17:16.500 --> 17:19.500 They came to this country about 1492. 17:19.500 --> 17:21.500 That was Columbus. 17:21.500 --> 17:24.500 I guess they came over in the boat just in front of him. 17:24.500 --> 17:27.500 I don't care when they came. I want to know what they're doing here now. 17:27.500 --> 17:29.500 Well, they're dancing. 17:29.500 --> 17:31.500 I know that. 17:31.500 --> 17:33.500 They claim they got some kind of a treaty with Mr. Haney. 17:33.500 --> 17:35.500 Well, I wouldn't call it exactly a treaty. 17:35.500 --> 17:38.500 It's more like a 99-year lease. 17:38.500 --> 17:40.500 99-year lease? 17:40.500 --> 17:43.500 You might say the Indians have a reservation. 17:44.500 --> 17:46.500 There must be some way we can get rid of them. 17:46.500 --> 17:48.500 Oh, well, that's simple. 17:48.500 --> 17:50.500 Let's call John Wayne. 17:50.500 --> 17:51.500 Oh, I've seen him do it a lot of times. 17:51.500 --> 17:53.500 He has a sword and he yells, charge in the cavalry. 17:53.500 --> 17:55.500 Thank you, Mr. Kimmel. You've been a great help. 17:55.500 --> 17:57.500 Oh, any time. 17:57.500 --> 17:59.500 Well, not any time. I'd call first. 17:59.500 --> 18:00.500 Sometimes I have appointments. 18:00.500 --> 18:02.500 Like this afternoon. 18:02.500 --> 18:04.500 At four o'clock, I have to see... 18:04.500 --> 18:06.500 No, I saw him Tuesday. 18:06.500 --> 18:08.500 It was, uh... 18:08.500 --> 18:10.500 Well, doesn't matter. 18:10.500 --> 18:12.500 I lost my appointment book. 18:12.500 --> 18:15.500 Well, happy bear dance. 18:18.500 --> 18:21.500 Oh, hello there, Mr. Horse. 18:21.500 --> 18:23.500 What's your name? 18:23.500 --> 18:24.500 Lisa. 18:24.500 --> 18:26.500 Hmm, may I give you an Indian name? 18:26.500 --> 18:29.500 Loh-tomato-ho. 18:29.500 --> 18:31.500 That's very pretty. 18:31.500 --> 18:34.500 Means squaw with golden hair, 18:34.500 --> 18:37.500 but married to sourpuss. 18:37.500 --> 18:39.500 My husband isn't always a sourpuss. 18:39.500 --> 18:42.500 Only when Indians dance on him. 18:42.500 --> 18:44.500 We got pretty. 18:44.500 --> 18:46.500 Where's your old squaw? 18:46.500 --> 18:48.500 You mean mother? 18:48.500 --> 18:51.500 You think she'd like to do bear dance with me? 18:51.500 --> 18:54.500 I'm sure she would, but she isn't feeling very well. 18:54.500 --> 18:55.500 She's sick? 18:55.500 --> 18:56.500 Yes. 18:56.500 --> 18:57.500 Hmm. 18:57.500 --> 18:59.500 Me send my doctor. 18:59.500 --> 19:08.500 Yon-ho-ho-ni-ka-ya-ha-ni-ka-ya-ha-ni-ka-ya! 19:08.500 --> 19:10.500 Ha! Ha! 19:13.500 --> 19:17.500 Ha-ni, ha-ni, ha-ni-ka! 19:17.500 --> 19:20.500 Yaaah! 19:20.500 --> 19:21.500 Aaaaah! 19:21.500 --> 19:24.500 What's going on here? 19:24.500 --> 19:27.500 Him, my doctor, makes war better. 19:27.500 --> 19:30.500 Chases away all evil spirit. 19:30.500 --> 19:31.500 She's got her own doctor. 19:31.500 --> 19:32.500 Now get out! 19:32.500 --> 19:34.500 Two dollar for house call. 19:34.500 --> 19:36.500 Get out! 19:39.500 --> 19:42.500 Oh, Oliver, get me out of here. 19:42.500 --> 19:45.500 Take me back to the city. 19:45.500 --> 19:48.500 Yes, I'll get rid of the Indians and nothing will bother you. 19:52.500 --> 19:54.500 Now, folks, if you'll just follow me, 19:54.500 --> 19:57.500 the tour will start right here. 19:57.500 --> 19:59.500 Good afternoon, ma'am. 19:59.500 --> 20:02.500 Now, folks, underneath this very bedroom 20:02.500 --> 20:05.500 was the original ceremonial ground 20:05.500 --> 20:10.500 where the first bear dance was preformed in 1490. 20:14.500 --> 20:15.500 This way, please. 20:15.500 --> 20:17.500 Thank you, ma'am, for your hospitality. 20:17.500 --> 20:20.500 Oh, yeah. 20:21.500 --> 20:25.500 Now, this room was used by the Suex Indians 20:25.500 --> 20:27.500 to make their pottery, 20:27.500 --> 20:30.500 which can be purchased at the conclusion of the tour. 20:30.500 --> 20:32.500 Mr. Haney! 20:32.500 --> 20:34.500 Folks, I want you to meet Mr. Douglas, 20:34.500 --> 20:36.500 who has kindly given me permission 20:36.500 --> 20:39.500 to conduct this educational tour. 20:39.500 --> 20:41.500 Permission! 20:41.500 --> 20:42.500 This way, folks. 20:42.500 --> 20:43.500 Now, in the kitchen, 20:43.500 --> 20:46.500 you will see a copy of the original stove 20:46.500 --> 20:49.500 used by the Suex to cook their bear. 20:49.500 --> 20:51.500 That does it. 20:51.500 --> 20:53.500 Those Indians are leaving. 20:53.500 --> 20:55.500 You want Indians leave? 20:55.500 --> 20:56.500 That's what I said. 20:56.500 --> 20:58.500 Have proposition. 20:58.500 --> 20:59.500 Proposition? 20:59.500 --> 21:03.500 We leave, but old squaw goes with me. 21:03.500 --> 21:05.500 Why, that's my mother. 21:05.500 --> 21:07.500 No, expect for nothing. 21:07.500 --> 21:11.500 Give you two goats and pig for her. 21:11.500 --> 21:12.500 What? 21:12.500 --> 21:15.500 Okay, make it three goats and pig. 21:15.500 --> 21:16.500 That's out of the question. 21:16.500 --> 21:17.500 She's not for sale. 21:17.500 --> 21:21.500 Then how about young squaw? 21:21.500 --> 21:24.500 Give you four pigs and horse. 21:24.500 --> 21:26.500 I'd be cheating you. 21:26.500 --> 21:29.500 She only cost me two chickens and a sheep. 21:29.500 --> 21:31.500 Well, me rather have old squaw. 21:31.500 --> 21:33.500 Give you four goats and two pigs. 21:33.500 --> 21:35.500 Final offer. 21:35.500 --> 21:37.500 Forget it. 21:37.500 --> 21:40.500 Then we don't leave. 21:40.500 --> 21:46.500 Well, I'll ask her. 21:46.500 --> 21:48.500 Mother, I'm so glad to see you up. 21:48.500 --> 21:50.500 These hotcakes will give you strength. 21:50.500 --> 21:54.500 Why did I ever let you talk me into coming here? 21:54.500 --> 21:57.500 Mother, I want to talk to you. 21:57.500 --> 22:00.500 What about? 22:00.500 --> 22:04.500 How would you like to be Mrs. Yellow Horse? 22:04.500 --> 22:05.500 What? 22:05.500 --> 22:06.500 Eunice Yellow Horse. 22:06.500 --> 22:09.500 Has a nice ring to it. 22:09.500 --> 22:12.500 Oh, you're up to your father's old habits. 22:12.500 --> 22:15.500 Drinking before noon. 22:15.500 --> 22:16.500 Now, wait a second. 22:16.500 --> 22:17.500 There's a good deal. 22:17.500 --> 22:21.500 He's willing to give me four goats and two pigs. 22:21.500 --> 22:23.500 Four goats and two? 22:23.500 --> 22:26.500 Oh, it's the best offer I've had for you yet. 22:26.500 --> 22:29.500 We are not going to sell, mother. 22:29.500 --> 22:30.500 What? 22:30.500 --> 22:32.500 Then you're not going to get rid of the Indians. 22:32.500 --> 22:33.500 I'll get rid of the Indians. 22:33.500 --> 22:35.500 Mother, look after the hotcakes. 22:35.500 --> 22:42.500 What are you going to do? 22:42.500 --> 22:48.500 Oliver, could you help me with this? 22:48.500 --> 22:50.500 We got a deal? 22:50.500 --> 22:52.500 Well, we haven't finished discussing it yet. 22:52.500 --> 22:54.500 Old squaw, good cook. 22:54.500 --> 22:55.500 Stop calling me old squaw. 22:55.500 --> 22:59.500 Chief Yellow Horse, big eater, like good food. 22:59.500 --> 23:04.500 Wife must be good cook. 23:04.500 --> 23:05.500 What those? 23:05.500 --> 23:06.500 Hotcakes. 23:06.500 --> 23:07.500 Huh? 23:07.500 --> 23:10.500 You never had a hotcake before? 23:10.500 --> 23:11.500 No. 23:11.500 --> 23:22.500 Well, give him one, mother. 23:22.500 --> 23:39.500 Try it. 23:39.500 --> 23:41.500 Mrs. Douglas makes those three times a day. 23:41.500 --> 23:44.500 Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. 23:44.500 --> 23:45.500 Three times? 23:45.500 --> 23:48.500 Well, that's all she knows how to cook. 23:48.500 --> 23:50.500 Now, about the deal. 23:50.500 --> 23:52.500 No deal. 23:52.500 --> 23:56.500 Old squaw, good looker, but rotten cooker. 23:56.500 --> 24:03.500 You better find medicine, my... 24:03.500 --> 24:05.500 Oh, thank you, Oliver, for saving me from... 24:05.500 --> 24:07.500 Don't thank me, thank Lisa. 24:07.500 --> 24:10.500 You know, I always thought her hotcakes weren't good for anything. 24:10.500 --> 24:13.500 Oliver, Oliver, I can't find Mr. Yellow Horse. 24:13.500 --> 24:15.500 Oh, he left. 24:15.500 --> 24:16.500 Well, that's too bad. 24:16.500 --> 24:20.500 I wanted to tell him that his dance is working. 24:20.500 --> 24:21.500 A what? 24:21.500 --> 24:24.500 Look. 24:24.500 --> 24:26.500 Oliver, get your gun. 24:26.500 --> 24:30.500 No, we won't need it. 24:30.500 --> 24:32.500 Good luck, Smokey. 24:32.500 --> 24:54.500 Aah! 24:54.500 --> 25:21.100 This has been a Filmways presentation, darling.