Previously on Dawson's Creek
Were you under the mistaken impression
that you were actually invited?
Well, it says come one come all.
Except spoiled trust fund casualties
from Rhode Island.
You can either give me another chance
or you can go back to Mr. Drake and write him
a very large check and make this marriage another statistic.
Gale, do you want to try
having an open marriage?
I love him and I want him back.
Then we're gonna get him back for you.
And don't give me that look.
I know there's been a lot of late night creeping around.
I'm just taking standard precautions.
You are so in denial.
Excuse me?
Denial. You can't accept the fact
that the little boy that you brought in the world is grown up.
And he's a sexual being.
You having sex with Joey?
No. I did not say that.
But I am a sexual being.
Responsible, mind you.
But biologically, a sexual being.
A sexual being?
Yep. You are having trouble facing that reality, Dad.
It's a typical parental problem. But you know what?
No. What?
The sooner you accept it,
the sooner you and I
will have an honest relationship.
Mm-hmm. Dawson, are you and Joey having sex?
No. No?
No. Thank you.
But...one day...
Down the road...
I'm gonna have sex.
And you acting all paranoid
and chucking ladders and locking windows
is not gonna stop me.
So please, will you stop acting like a typical parent
and just let things take their natural course?
Let Joey and me hang out in my room
alone at night unsupervised.
No.
Why not?
Because, Dawson, the fact is
I am a parent, all right?
I am your parent.
And it's my duty to be paranoid
about my 15-year-old son
upstairs in my very own house having sex.
You are so unenlightened.
Didn't you grow up in the sixties?
Dawson,
you can psychologically deconstruct me all you want,
but here's the deal.
Parent, me. Child, you.
All right?
Parent, me. Child, you.
He is such a tyrant.
You handled him well.
You think so?
Joey?
What are you doing here?
Uh, Joey, would you come with me, please?
What did I just say, Dawson?
What did I just say?
You, Jane. Me, Tarzan?
No, parent, me. Grounded, you.
Bye, Dawson.
Bye, Joey.
I'll see you in a few minutes.
No, you won't.
Bessie, you're water's boiling.
What?
Never mind.
Joey, I'm so glad you're still here.
I got a call from the health department.
They're planning on doing an inspection
of the Ice House this week.
Can you go over there? Now?
Just make sure everything's put away and spic and span.
Last thing I need now is the health department
slapping us with some big fine
or god forbid, closing us down.
You seem to be forgetting something. It's called first period.
Oh, come on, Joey, it'll only take a minute.
I gotta drop Alexander off at the sitter's.
He's missing a shoe.
Oh, Alexander, you kicked off your shoe.
Here, Joey, can you hold him?
Look, Joey, please.
Will you just do me this one favor?
Go by the Ice House on your way to school.
Please, will you?
Fine. Here, I gotta go then.
Hang on. Ok, here. Here we are.
Ok.
Oh, while you're there,
will you just wipe down the counters
real quick, so it looks clean?
Fine.
Oh, yeah. And, Joey, the freezer.
Can you mop behind the freezer?
I can't even remember the last time we did that.
Hey, thanks, Joey. You're the greatest.
Is that the sexual being himself?
You know what I was thinking?
No, but I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
Don't tell me that, when you were my age,
you weren't sneakin' around and makin' out with girls
in the backs of cars and movie theaters.
You're right. I was.
But that was the whole fun of being 15, Dawson.
It was the fear of getting caught
that made it more dangerous and exciting.
So by restricting my access to Joey,
what you're really trying to do is liven up my sex life?
You hear that, Mom?
What sex life?
No. Now you're twisting my words again, Dawson.
Go to school.
Hee hee. Do you ever notice
that when your parental authority is in question,
you start barking out orders?
Go. Now.
Bye, Mom.
Bye, honey.
You know, I think our son is training to be a lawyer.
He has become the master of manipulation.
I wonder where he learned that.
Meaning?
Meaning you both can come up with incredible rationalizations,
especially when it comes to acting out your sexual impulses.
Oh...listen, Gale,
this whole idea of an open marriage was exactly that-- it was an idea.
I'm not gonna force your hand into anything if you're against it.
Are you against it?
Well, I'm not for it.
But if that's what it takes--
Come on. No. Look, enough said.
No, no, no. If what you need is to get even with me
and to sow your oats, then--
Gale, let's drop-- let's drop the whole thing.
I mean, I--I don't wanna fight about it.
You don't?
No.
I love you, Mitch.
I'll see you after work.
Have a good one.
Jen, I have a very important question for you,
and I need an answer immediately.
What is it?
Who would you rather have sex with--
Trey Harter or Jeff Burdis?
Ha. Neither.
Are you crazy?! Look at them!
What? They're a couple of gym junkies.
They have no cultural interests, no inner lives.
All they do is play football and swap pornos.
They're a couple of pigs.
Yeah, but it's like they're so completely disgusting,
it's almost erotic.
Do you know what I mean?
God, I cannot believe I am friends with someone
who only has eyes for Dawson Leery.
Guilty as charged.
Please! You're making me ill.
Jen, look at me.
I have 3 words for you-- make it happen.
Abby-- - No!
Don't Abby me. Make...it...happen.
Pacey, wait! Look, I need your help!
Oh, god, here we go.
Ok. Andie, I'm having a really mellow morning.
I haven't had any car accidents,
I haven't been diagnosed with any terminal defects,
and I'd really just like to keep a low pro,
so buh-bye.
I'm sure there are a dozen dimwits with highlights and c-cups
you'd rather be talking to,
but you're the only person I know in econ,
so here's the deal.
I left my backpack in my locker yesterday.
Can I borrow your notes on the reading?
Ok. I don't actually have any notes
because I didn't do the reading.
Ok, and don't give me the homework guilt trip, all right?
That's what I have parents for.
Did I say anything?
I did not say anything.
I'm just freaking out.
What if Mr. Maddock calls on me in class?
Then you do what I always do-- you just say "pass."
Ha. Pacey, I don't say "pass."
Pass is not in my vocabulary.
There's just-- there's no way!
Ok. Settle down, all right? This is just one assignment.
You're not flunking out. Yeah, I know that,
but you get behind by one day,
you're always struggling to catch up.
Then you just get more confused,
then the next thing you know, you're out on the street,
drunk and dirty, wheeling a shopping cart.
Andie...you're rich.
Rich people don't end up in the street.
They end up in Florida.
Oh, no! You're doomed!
Come on! Now, you've gotta help me!
Do you know anybody that did 'em?
I mean, is there anybody I can borrow them from?
Mmm. Let me think.
...and, finally,
what is the difference
between macroeconomics and microeconomics?
Andie?
Um...
Microeconomics is...
Microeconomics is when...
Pass.
I'm sorry. What did you say?
Pass.
Kenny?
Macroeconomics is the study of whole economic systems
and how they interrelate.
Microeconomics is the study
of individual areas of economic activity
like corporations.
Very good. Well put. Thank you, Kenny.
Which leads me to your assignment.
We're going to focus on the microeconomics
of the family household.
This week, you're going to pair up
and play a little game I call alternative lifestyles.
Now,
in this hat are all your names.
You're going to choose a partner,
I will assign you identities,
and then you are to prepare an extensive annual budget
for your fictional household.
I strongly recommend research trips into the field.
How much money will you have to spend a year
on food, clothing, travel?
Now, these are questions that every household must ask,
and these are the questions that I want you to answer.
So, let's begin.
Andie.
Pacey Witter.
You and Pacey are a lower-middle class family
with 3 children.
Pacey, you're a bus driver.
Andie, you're a sales clerk.
Kenny Reiling.
Mr. Maddock, is it possible to switch partners?
No, it's not.
Huh! Trey Harter.
That's me, man.
Killer, man.
Now, you two will be a well-to-do same-sex couple.
Trey, you're going to be a pediatrician,
Jeff, you're an advertising executive.
What do you mean same-sex?
As in gay, ok? And you're planning on getting married,
wedding expenses have got to be in your budget.
What do you mean gay?
Jen Lindley.
Ok, uh, a wealthy couple.
Dawson, you're a stockbroker,
Jen, you're a engineer,
you got 2 kids in college,
a house at the beach, annual income...
$400,000 a year.
And last but not least,
Joey Potter.
Odd woman out.
That's ok, Joey, uh, you will be
a successful single mother
raising 2 kids on your own.
That everybody?
Good luck,
and don't spend all your money in one place.
This assignment is so lame.
I mean, pretending to be something we're never going to be,
budgeting money we're never going to have.
I mean, what's the point?
The point is to get us thinking
about economic problems we will face in the real world.
I hate to break it to you, Peter Pan,
but some of us are already dealing with those problems.
I mean, it just gets me thinking about the future
and how I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life.
You have an idea.
I don't. That's you, Dawson.
You've got it all mapped out.
You're going to go off to Hollywood,
become some high-profile movie director,
make millions of dollars, get a drug addiction,
end up at the Betty Ford center,
marry some...
Excuse me?
And me, I mean, when I close my eyes
and think about where I'll be in 10 years,
it's blank. I mean, I have no idea, Dawson.
You will.
One day.
This project is just going to depress me.
It think it'll be fun.
Oh, really?
And are you as excited
to partner up with Jen as she is?
The look on her face was classic, Dawson.
You have nothing to worry about.
Famous last words.
Oh, Jen, you're drooling!
Look, this is the moment of truth.
You're going to be working with him
all week long one-on-one,
so the question is
are you going to be passive
and masochistic,
and really piss me off,
or are you going to be proactive
and grab him by the dipstick
and make me proud?
Abby, it's not that simple. I mean, take a look at him.
He's totally into Joey. He's in love with her.
Ah, he's a 15-year-old boy.
He doesn't know what love is.
All he does know
is that he goes to sleep every night jerking his gherkin
and he wakes up every morning
humping his mattress.
Excuse me, Abby. Uh...
What? Who are you?
Kenny Reiling. I'm your partner in econ.
No, you're not. Go away.
Look, I thought we should talk about our assignment.
Look, um, can you just do the assignment
and put my name on it?
'Cause that would be great. Thanks. Bye.
Anyway,
I think it's time for a little bit
of this New York City regression.
I mean, you have to show him the old naughty Jen.
'Cause this new Jen just isn't working.
I mean, you're going to be working together all week.
It's a perfect opportunity.
Late night study sessions,
role playing like you guys are husband and wife,
and you can remind him what a great couple you used to be
and how compatible you are.
I don't know. I mean, I--
I don't want to jump the gun, you know.
I want you to jump the gun. His gun.
And I want all the gory details.
What are you doing?
Haven't you ever mopped before?
You dip the mop in the bucket.
Don't pour the water all over the floor.
Uh, sorry.
Look, I know I made a few blunders,
but I'm not a screwup.
It's ok. Here, I'll do it. Don't worry about it.
All right, just go wipe off some counters.
What is going on here? Is something flooding?
No. Jack--never mind.
I'm taking care of it, but can we save some of this cleanup for tomorrow?
No. This week we have to stay on top of everything.
I'm so paranoid the health department's
just going to jump down our throats.
I have this huge econ project due Friday.
It's worth a third of my grade.
I have to prepare this household budget
for a single career mother,
and I have no idea what I'm doing.
I'm virtually a single career mother.
I can help you. What do you need to know?
Thanks, Bess, but you're not exactly the model for this assignment.
Why not?
First of all, she's a super successful career woman
with $150,000 income.
Well, Joey, maybe I'm not super successful,
but if there's one thing I do know how to do, it's budget money.
You know, you're right. I should get some advice.
Find a career woman who's actually living this assignment,
ask her for help.
Hello. I'll do it.
You keep cleaning, and I'll advise.
Thanks, Bess, but you can barely get your bills
paid on time.
I appreciate the offer, but I think I'll find somebody else.
Dude, check out this viper.
Pacey, can you please put that down for one second?
Is that possible?
We are seriously over budget by, like, $30,000.
That's fine.
Don't really need a jacuzzi.
As long as I get this viper, everything's ok.
Huh, no.
You are a bus driver,
and I am a sales clerk.
You're not getting any viper.
Ok, I think the first decision we should make
is where we're going to live,
and since we have 3 kids,
we should get a 4-bedroom house.
Kids don't need their own rooms.
You know, not everybody gets to grow up like you,
a fairy Princess.
I want a divorce.
Granted. You know what, we split the cash,
you can have the kids, I'll keep the car.
That is so typical.
Doesn't it sicken you that you're living up
to the most common and base of male stereotypes?
You don't care about your wife and kids, no.
All you care about is this overpriced, absurd piece of metal.
Hey, it's got passenger side airbags.
Look, I want a viper, ok? That's it.
End of story.
Ok. Compromise.
You'll get your viper
if and only if we can find a viable 2-bedroom apartment.
How are we supposed to do that?
Well, Mr. Maddock said we should do some research in the field,
so let's go apartment scouting.
I'll get you those numbers tomorrow.
Okay, take care. I will.
Have a nice evening.
Thanks for the ride.
See you tomorrow. Bye. Ok.
Hi, honey.
Where's Dawson?
He's, uh, studying next door.
Oh, what a day.
Yeah, I'll bet.
I missed a deadline, the car wouldn't start,
frank from accounting had to give me a ride home.
Why didn't you call me?
Just thought it would be easier if I got a ride.
From, uh, frank in accounting.
Please don't tell me you're mad about that.
Look, Gale, I know that frank just gave you a ride home,
but I can't stop how I feel.
Now, we've lost it here. There's no trust here.
There's no honesty.
I don't know what to do to get it back.
I don't know. Maybe this idea, maybe this open marriage thing--
Mitch--
Now, wait, wait, just hear me out.
Maybe,
by taking away the rules,
I can take away the need to trust you,
and we can get back some of what we've lost.
Meaning?
Meaning from this moment on,
Thursday night is date night.
We can go out with whomever we want,
do whatever we want whenever we want,
and the only rule
is we're honest about it.
See, there's no need to lie.
An open marriage allows us that.
Huh! Maybe we should send our kids to state school.
It would be a hell of a lot cheaper.
Dawson, if we had kids, they'd be Ivy League material.
These prices are astronomical.
According to our tax bracket,
we would have to earn $60,000 a year
just to send one kid to one year of college.
It's such a rip-off.
What are you--what are you laughing at?
This conversation.
I mean, listen to us.
We're talking about our mortgages,
how we're going to afford to send our kids to college.
I don't know. It's like we're actually married.
Hmm.
Who knows? 20 years on down the line,
it could be us.
Well, I think these travel expenses
are a little bit unrealistic.
I mean, we're going to want to go
someplace warm in the winter, right?
Yeah. Some place like the Florida keys or--
I've never been to Hawaii.
Jamaica.
Or how about Fiji?
Fiji. I can totally do Fiji.
That would be cool.
Uh, we should, um, call a travel agent,
do some price-checking.
Should we take the kids?
No. They're in college. They probably won't want to go with us.
Yeah. Probably sick of us.
Besides, if we go alone, it's much more romantic.
God, that's--we've agreed on practically every aspect
of married life.
I don't think we could really be more compatible.
Hmm!
You know, it's kind of a relief to see
that you and me can still hang out, you know?
Yeah.
I mean, it's fun, and there's moments
when it feels
like nothing's really changed between us.
Kind of like right now.
Well, yeah.
We've probably done enough work for tonight.
What do you think?
Hey, Dawson, um,
if you happen to get any inspiration on the assignment
or, you know, just want to talk, whatever, right?
I'm here for you.
My door's always open.
If you know what I mean.
I think so.
I--I'll see you tomorrow.
Bye.
What is that?
Rat trap.
We have a little vermin infestation.
Not a big deal.
Um. Are you renting
The place as is?
Yup. As is.
Hmm. Still want that viper?
What are we doing here?
Are we doing this project, or are we moving in together?
We've looked at, like, 12 different apartment buildings,
and for what?
Research. Mr. Maddock told us to do research.
Yeah, but the assignment is due tomorrow,
and we don't have a thing on paper.
Is that my fault?
Yes, it is your fault.
You're the one who's been leading us
on this ridiculous apartment scavenger hunt.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I actually got into this project, Pacey.
I'm sorry I'm not the biggest slacker on the planet.
After all this, you still think I'm lazy.
Ha. No, Pacey.
There's lazy, and-- then there's you.
Are you trying to win some teen rebel award?
I mean, do you think
it's cool to give the finger to everything and everyone
that doesn't fit into your little self-destructive agenda?
Ok, let's get one thing straight.
You don't know anything about me.
Well, enlighten me.
My econ grade depends on it. Fine.
You want the broken record, here it is.
Since before the dawn of time,
I have been designated the black sheep of my family.
This label is permanent. I can't erase it,
and I can't trade it in for a new one.
I could bring home an "A" in econ or an "F."
I could bring home the Nobel peace prize,
it wouldn't make the slightest bit of difference.
So, Miss Perky,
you try growing up in a family atmosphere like that
and see if you can stay motivated.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, uh--
No, of course not.
You were too busy getting into character.
Oh, I'm just a sales clerk,
a poor little sales clerk
looking for an apartment.
You want to know the reason
that this assignment is so fascinating to you?
In reality, you've never had a problem
in your entire life.
You drive around in your Saab, you buy your new clothes,
you basically throw your money away.
The idea that people
actually have to budget their monthly income
is like some fascinating novelty to you.
You're rich, and you're spoiled,
and that's what it comes down to.
You know what? You're right.
I don't know anything about you,
and you know even less about me,
so just leave me alone!
Andie, wait. Hey.
So?
Are you going to take the apartment?
Hi.
Hi, I'm Joey Potter.
Thank you so much for seeing me, Miss Weston.
Oh, please, Joey, call me Laura.
I know you must be incredibly busy,
but I'm preparing this household budget.
Mr. Maddock gave me your name.
He said you're the living embodiment
of a successful career woman.
What's so funny?
I don't know. I just never thought the day would come
that I would be described
as the embodiment of a successful career woman.
Can you bring me the Farley portfolio?
I need to look at it before the meeting.
Well, you must've always been pretty ambitious
to be doing so well. I mean--
Oh, ambitious. Are you kidding?
Not at all.
A few years ago, I was the quintessential housewife,
raising kids, staying at home, no job.
Growing up, I'd always loved art and drawings,
so I decided to go back to school.
Now, I'm teaching art,
and working as an interior designer.
It's great, because I spend half my time teaching, which I love,
and the other half in design.
Thanks.
Well, you must be incredibly talented.
Incredibly hardworking is what I am.
Now, Joey, we're doing the designs
for a chain of Mexican restaurants.
Come take a look at these floor plans.
They look good to me.
No, look closer. Do you see any potential problems?
Well...
Never mind.
No, no. What is it?
Well, it's just that you placed the kitchen and the bar
at opposite ends of the restaurant.
And why is that a problem?
Well, I work in a restaurant, and by doing that
then the waiters have to place the kitchen orders
and the drink orders separately.
Everything takes twice as long,
and you end up running around
like a chicken with its head cut off.
You think maybe I could pick your brain
about some of these other designs, a little trade-off
for helping you on your assignment?
Fair enough.
I'd be happy to.
Good.
Nothing?
You've been working with him all week,
and you expect me to believe that nothing has happened?
I'm telling you, nothing has happened.
I don't know. I mean,
he's so head-over-heels in love with Joey,
I can't compete with her.
That is where you're wrong.
Joey has nothing on you.
Kenny,
what do you think of Joey Potter?
She's hot!
Oh, shut up! What do you know?
You're practically wall-eyed.
Well, look,
Abby, I do know we should be working on our assignment.
Ok, you're bugging me. Can you just get out of my hair
and go finish it?
Look, Abby, you haven't been doing your share of the work.
Well, what do you expect?
I'm not like you, Kenny.
I have a very demanding social life.
Anyway, Joey may be pretty.
She does have that fresh-faced appeal
in a very j. Crew catalogue kind of way,
but she's no you.
You're a sex kitten, Jen,
and you should work it to your advantage.
Oh, what are you saying?
That I--I should just take off all my clothes
and throw myself at him?
It could work.
Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor,
and tonight is your last night with him.
I mean, you have to go for broke.
Wear something scandalous.
You can borrow one of my dresses
and just spray perfume in all the right places.
Big, red, moist lips.
You know what? You're right.
I may as well put the final nail
in my coffin of shame.
What have I got to lose?
Yeah. Just seduce him.
His tidy whities will be in a ball
by the foot of the bed before you can say
Joey Potter is a virgin.
Dinner's ready.
Well, I made other plans, Gale.
It's Thursday.
Ah, Thursday, right.
Um,
well then, uh,
you have fun. I'll see you later.
Right.
Hey, you want to come with me to the Ice House?
I told Bessie I'd help clean up.
Uh, no. I've got--
I got to stay here and finish my project with Jen.
Ah.
Mine's done.
I hate you.
Yeah?
Well, actually,
Laura practically did the whole thing.
She's so cool, Dawson.
I mean, she said anytime I want to intern at her company
she'd hook me up. Really?
Uh-huh. She just kind of made me realize
that maybe someday I could own my own business
or run my own company.
It was cool.
See? Looks like Joey
has some career aspirations after all.
Um, if your father comes back,
tell him that since it's Thursday night,
I've gone out.
When will you be back?
Later.
Good night, honey.
Good night.
I have given up trying to figure out my parents.
I don't know. It's just--ha!
Things are really weird right now.
Do you think maybe we should take advantage
of this momentary lack of supervision?
Hey.
If I've interrupted something,
I can come back later.
No. Actually, I was just leaving.
Bye, Dawson.
Good-bye.
Nice dress.
Thanks. I borrowed it.
I bet.
So, um,
where do you want to do this?
Somewhere where we can be comfortable.
Let's go to your bedroom.
Why do we need 2 range rovers?
Compromise, Jeff.
A couple of weeks in Europe,
drive a cheaper car.
Huh! Fine.
You want the honeymoon,
you drive the cheaper car, ok?
Oh, man.
You're so selfish. Why do you act like that?
Yeah, I'm selfish! You always act like that.
Yeah. Yeah, quit it.
Hey, sorry I'm late.
God, this place is a pigsty.
We got slammed.
Mmm. Hey, Bessie, I was telling Laura about our financial problems--
Who's Laura?
Well, she's the interior designer who helped me with my project.
Oh, right, the super- successful career woman.
Anyway, she had some really good ideas,
I mean, ways to keep our overhead costs down.
And Laura also said
she could help us design a new logo for the Ice House.
I mean, we could print new menus, place mats.
We don't need new menus or place mats.
She said she could do it for free.
Said it's crucial for businesses to revamp every so often.
It keeps things fresh.
I don't have time to listen to advice from some woman
that knows nothing about me or my life or the Ice House.
Look, she's just trying to help.
I don't need her help. I need your help now.
Health department called.
They're coming tomorrow to do the inspection,
this place is a total disaster.
You don't have to snap at me like it's my fault.
I thought you were coming in earlier. We needed you.
I'm sorry, Bessie. I actually have a life.
I am not your full-time slave.
That's a bit of an exaggeration.
I feel like all I ever do is run your errands, answer your phone calls,
take care of your baby, and I'm sick of it.
Hey, where should I put--
Joey, I'm really sorry my baby and I are cramping your style.
Why don't you go home?
Jack and I have it covered.
Hey, we're closed.
Listen, could I just get a cup of coffee, man? I'm desperate.
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
You're Andie's brother, right?
I'm Pacey.
Yeah, I know who you are.
Uh, listen, is your sister on any medication?
'Cause she just went completely ballistic on me.
Why? What'd you do to her?
Nothing. I just called her a spoiled Princess, she goes psycho.
I guess the truth hurts sometimes.
Andie a spoiled Princess,
I don't think anything could be further from the truth.
Oh, come on, don't try and tell me your family's not totally loaded?
You think I’m working here for kicks?
Yeah, but your sister drives a Saab, man, and all those nice clothes.
Well, it's the last remains of a decaying dynasty.
I don't get it.
Look, there was a time when things were-- were easy for us,
I mean, relatively, but those days are over now.
Look, I really don't want to get into this.
Uh, just do me a favor.
Give Andie a break, you know. She-- she deserves it.
How are you?
What's up, you guys?
Hey, how are you?
All right, we're done.
Whew!
Finally, huh?
Ahh.
Mission accomplished.
Oh, my god, I am so exhausted.
I can barely even see straight.
Yeah, I feel like I've become one with this chair.
How about a massage? Get rid of a little bit of that tension, hmm?
Um, I'm--I'm cool.
Are you sure?
Yep.
God, I am so beat.
Uh, I don't think I can even make it next door.
Do you mind if I just crash here for the night?
Actually, yeah, I do.
What?
Yeah, I do mind.
I think you should probably go home.
What?
Oh, what, so--so we can't hang out together anymore, is that it?
No, absolutely we can hang out together,
we just can't sleep together.
Oh, calm down, Dawson.
God, I was just asking if I could crash at your house.
Nobody said anything about sleeping together.
I know what it is.
It's Joey, isn't it?
She's been putting ideas in your head about me.
No, Jen, Joey is not putting any ideas in my head about you.
I'm not oblivious.
Meaning?
Well, meaning, look at you.
Is this what you normally wear to a study session?
You've been making suggestive comments and touching me all night.
I've been trying to be--
Dawson, if you can't handle being in the same room with me--
Ok, look, I can handle being in the same room with you.
I can't handle you throwing yourself at me every second.
I mean, don't you find it humiliating?
I'm not humiliating anybody, Dawson.
And I know that you're with Joey, and I accept that.
I just don't respect it.
And I don't mean this in a slutty, self-degrading sort of way,
but I want to let you know that you've got options,
and I'm one of them.
Who are you?
What happened to Jen?
She got bored. She decided to liven things up a bit.
I hope you can handle it, Dawson.
Have fun?
Yeah. Did you?
Yeah.
Good.
So, what'd you do?
I went to Duke's,
met some new people,
hung out, danced a little.
You?
Oh, I, uh, met a friend for some drinks.
It was fun.
I'm glad you had a good time tonight, Mitch.
I was beginning to think you had skipped town on me.
No, I was up all night cleaning.
Look, Joey, I need to talk to you.
Things aren't working out for you in the Ice House, so you're fired.
Fired?
I just don't think you should be working there anymore, so--
You can't fire me.
Yes, I can, and I am.
I know what you're doing, Bessie.
I couldn't sleep last night. I felt so bad. I--
Those things that I said, I didn't mean them.
Yes, you did.
And, Joey, you're right.
I'm--I'm in way over my head.
I live in total chaos.
But these problems, they're not yours.
I don't want to be the one robbing you of your childhood.
You should be out having fun and being young,
not burdened by all my messes.
It's not fair.
It's not fair to you, and I'm sorry.
Bessie...
These are my problems.
You see, you and I are a team, you know?
And you can't fire me,
'cause I'm not going anywhere and I won't be fired.
And I love you...
And Alexander.
And I don't ever want you to feel like you're in this alone.
Yeah, but you're my little sister.
I'm supposed to be taking care of you.
You do.
God, you do take care of me, Bessie.
You know, one day,
I'll get it together, and you'll be proud of me.
I am proud of you, Bessie.
I mean, this assignment made me realize how much you have to deal with
and how much stress you are under and...
I think you are amazing.
Yeah?
Yeah...
A little.
Unlike some of your schoolwork,
the lessons that you learned from this project
can be directly applied to your future life.
And therefore, I hope, I hope
that you gave this project its deserved attention.
Now, will you please pass your projects to the front of the room for me?
Oh, uh, Jeff, how'd that wedding turn out?
Great, Mr. Maddock. We decided for a casual one by the ocean,
you know, just, uh,
Close friends and family.
That way we could spend more on the honeymoon.
Good decision, Trey.
Mr. Maddock?
FYI--
Abby Morgan's name is on this report
because she threatened my life,
but she didn't help at all,
and she spent the entire week just verbally abusing me.
That is a lie.
Mr. Maddock, look, Kenny was congested,
and he literally had snot all over his face.
I just didn't want to get ill.
Well, I just hope that in your budget
you two allocated money for marriage counseling.
So, Andie, where's your project?
Well, Mr. Maddock,
since marriage is a 50/50 partnership,
I decided to do my project from the wife's perspective.
So here's my half.
Pacey Witter,
thank you for joining us.
Is this your project?
Mine and Andie's.
Wow!
Looks pretty comprehensive.
Ha! Good work, you two.
And now that this is over,
you'll get these back on Monday.
Then Monday, we're gonna start our project on macroeconomics.
Ah, I'm so glad that project is over.
I kinda liked the assignment.
You did, didn't you?
Yeah.
I could just see you now.
"Joey Potter climbs the ladder of corporate America."
Shut up.
Come here.
Get a room.
What was that all about?
I have no idea.
Pacey, hey!
Hey.
Thanks for finishing the project.
I guess I can never call you lazy again.
Listen, uh, I'm sorry about yesterday, ok?
I think we were both suffering from a case of false impressions.
I talked to your brother last night, and he explained to me
that your family's not exactly the Rockefellers.
He did?
Yeah. So I feel like the world's biggest chump.
Mmm, don't sweat it.
No, uh, you were right, it's true.
I obviously don't know anything about you.
Pacey...
My life is like a movie of the week
that's probably better left out of this brief little truce
we have going here, ok?
Sure.
So what I want to know is, did we get the viper?
Come on, after all we've been through,
could I really get the viper?
Ok, I had to. It's such an awesome car.
But that means all of our kids
are stuffed into a 2-bedroom apartment.
Ah, actually, it's a one-bedroom apartment. But, you know,
the family that lays together, stays together.
Pacey, 5 people in one bedroom?
That is insanity.
Are you complaining?
I stayed up all night doing that project,
and now you're complaining?
I mean, that just doesn't make any sense.
How can I complain?
Because there are so many things wrong with that report.
Wrong with that report?
Know what? Family unity is important to me.
I believe that family--
At the expense of--no, no.