Previously on Dawson's Creek
I don't think you're angry with me for kissing you.
I think you're angry with yourself
for kissing me back.
You kissed my girlfriend.
Truth is, I'd do it again.
Kiss me? - I thought you'd never ask.
You make me so happy.
But I have to make myself happy first.
We can't just say I love you
for the first time and have it be over.
Good night.
I trust I may have leave to speak, and speak I will.
There's not a single dramatic story line in existence
that Shakespeare didn't conquer first.
Family revenge, political intrigue, the great gender battle.
The guy mapped it all out for us.
And what was his parting lesson?
What genre of all genres did he finally arrive at
after years of toil and sacrifice? Tragedy.
Shh!
Like all great romantics,
he finally realized that life was a lot more likely to end up
with a bunch of dead Danish people on stage than with a kiss.
What a sad movie.
Mom, you cried at commercials.
Only that cotton commercial.
We have to do something about your perpetual state of melancholy.
I'm concerned about you.
Well, honey, I'm concerned about you.
Ever since your breakup with Joey,
you haven't said one word about it.
Dawson, you haven't even wallowed.
What good is wallowing?
All the wallowing in the world doesn't bring someone back.
Wallowing isn't about getting them back.
It isn't about them at all. It's about you.
And learning to allow yourself
the few meager advantages of being the dumpee.
Advantages?
Sure, like allowing yourself to stuff your face
with a lifetime supply of red licorice and doughnuts.
Or, um, a newfound appreciation for country music.
Like an excuse to watch that last scene from Field of Dreams.
Acquiring the necessary pain to write bad, bitter poetry.
A reason to scowl.
A reason to bitch!
Work out aggression.
Yeah! You see,
when you think about it, honey,
every inch of pain that touches you
makes you a deeper, more real individual.
Whether you're 16 or... Slightly older.
So it doesn't get any easier?
Nope. You just go to bed earlier.
Night, honey.
Good night, Mom.
Um, hope I was an acceptable substitute for movie night.
You did great.
"What light through yonder window breaks?"
It is the midterm.
And your impending failure is but hours away.
Blue books.
You'll notice they are blank.
And for many of you,
they'll score higher as such than when actually written in.
Please sign your real name, ahem.
As for the test, ahem, it will cover everything
we have studied in English literature thus far
and will be worth 50% of this term's grade.
Main points of interest: Shakespeare, Dickens, the romantics,
and your favorite--the read everybody's talking about--
Beowulf.
I will be hosting a study session
in this classroom at 3:00.
It is my recommendation you attend,
unless, of course, your parents
have dedicated an east wing or two to an Ivy League institution,
in which case your tragic, east coast aristocratic, social alcoholic fate
has already been sealed.
This is more than just an exam, people.
It's your life.
Hey.
Dawson, at some point we have to say something to each other.
What would you like me to say, Joey?
What do you want to say?
Go away.
Besides that.
Joey, you made it very clear you needed space, ok?
I am giving you that space.
I didn't think it would mean
we'd be cutting off all communication, Dawson.
What did you think, it would mean, Joey?
This isn't fair.
To which one of us?
You can't make up all the rules!
I don't want to.
Then what do you want?!
One day this cafeteria is destined
to cook a fry that actually tastes like a fry.
Ménage ä trois. Ever been in one?
All hail, the queen of non sequiturs has spoken.
It's not a non sequitur. It's this month's Jane.
Chick magazines are racier than Playboy.
There's always some article in there
about how to prolong your this or arouse your that.
This one's a purity test.
What?
Purity test. You've heard of 'em.
An assortment of sexual questions
which when totaled is meant to Gauge the level of sexual experience.
Okey-dokey. Time to put that away now.
Why? It's fun.
Gauging our level of sexual expertise
is not really my idea of joy abounding.
Don't think I don't know where this is going, Pacey Witter.
I know your history.
You do?
Sure. You're a typical guy.
You want everyone to think
you have this unseemly, adventurous sexual existence
when in fact your purity level
is probably closer to Big Bird's than Bill Clinton's.
Yeah, you know what, you got me.
That's me, Mr. Embarrassingly Pure.
Whatever. So, am I gonna see you at Peterson's cram-o-rama?
That would imply that I am going.
No, no, Pacey, you cannot bail on this study session.
It's way too important.
To you.
To anyone who cares about their grade.
Well, see, there's the rub.
Yo soy not concerned.
Don't joke about this. I'm serious.
As committed as you are to doing everything
within your power to getting an "A,"
I am equally committed to getting my "C."
Possibly "D" if I can't get a good look at your answer sheet.
Pacey.
Give me one good reason why I should.
Me.
Ok. Fine. I'll go.
Just don't expect me to stay awake.
Jen-a-lish, delish.
Hey, Chris. What's up?
Long run today.
Yeah.
Thought you'd be looking
for someone to keep stride with.
And you'd like to be that someone?
I'm a good pacer.
I know when to speed up and when to slow down.
And when to leave someone alone?
Jen, is there a particular reason
why you're not receptive to my wily charms?
Other than the fact that you emit them regularly
to any skirt within a 6-mile radius?
Actually, I have a car,
so it's more like the tri-state area.
Aha. A smile.
Mission accomplished.
Later, Chris.
And the hawk circles.
He's just being cute,
which he really is.
You seen his love 'em and leave 'em rap sheet? It's epic.
Relax, Dawson.
Just looking out.
So, you hitting that study session?
Oh. I doubt it.
I'm not much in the "applying myself" zone these days.
How about you?
Well, it's either that
or another evening watching some awful, seventies tearjerker
with my mother, so...you should go.
I'll tell you what, Dawson.
Since it doesn't look like I'll be having
a hot night of unbridled passion with Romeo over there,
I'll consider it.
All right.
"Dear class, went home with a cold
"that was considerably more important than you.
"The test is still on for tomorrow.
"Study the sample questions.
Until then, hardly yours, Mr. Peterson."
So he bailed on his own session. Great.
We should have our own study session.
My folks are in Saint Martin.
We'll have the whole house to ourselves.
Like we'd get a lot of work done that way.
The lady questions my motives?
Invite your friends.
You two interested?
Let's study at my place.
I was thinking more along the lines of the city library.
Whoa, whoa. His offer does have a certain enticing quality.
Since when have you been in such a rush to form a study group?
Have you ever seen this man's house?
His family is totally loaded.
They got a satellite dish.
Oh, come on.
All right. We're in.
Cool. I'll drive.
Young lady.
Will you join us?
How can I resist?
Hey, Joey. So what are your study plans?
Oh, just me, my English lit book, and a loud, crying baby.
Good. Then you can come with me.
Where?
A study session at Chris Wolfe's. I can't do this alone.
Chris Wolfe's? You're going to rely on Chris Wolfe to provide a suitable study environment?
I think I'm better off with the loud, crying baby.
Ok, do you honestly believe I would let this night
be anything less than ridiculously beneficial?
Trust me. I'm in mega-control of this event.
Hey Dawson! Where you headed little buddy?
Well, skipper, I saw Peterson's note. I'm headed home.
I'm actually headed to a different study session, if you're up for it.
"Different study session"?
Is this Pacey Witter code for party?
Brothel? Road trip to Disneyland?
Believe it or not, this is a true meeting of intellectuals
in a highly moderated studious environment and that, my friend, is our ride.
So what do you say?
Sure.
Uh, the TV is that way.
The jacuzzi and sauna are out back.
We keep extra suits in the guest room,
and, uh, kitchen's that way if you get hungry.
Sounds like we're going to get a lot of studying done.
Reminder, I'm in complete control here.
Everyone, my little sister, Dina.
She promises to stay out of the way.
Nope. This room isn't gonna do.
We're gonna need a long table, proper lighting,
and high-backed chairs.
Where's Pacey?
Hey, check this out.
Two hundred channels from all over the world.
It's a couch potato's dream.
Look at that! 3 Stooges in Cantonese.
Why do you insist on undermining me at every opportunity you get?
Think of how boring the alternative is.
Look, I'm going to need your help with our attention deficit host, ok?
There's no way I can expend energy rounding up the both of you.
Now, come on!
But I wanna watch TV.
So, the plan of attack is simple.
Using this book, we'll spend 30 minutes on each of the various sections:
Victorian poetry, Shakespeare, Dickens, etc.
And, by my watch, if we allow for a few 15 minute breaks,
we'll be able to cover the entire course load by midnight.
That will still give us enough time to do an hour speed round and get a good night's sleep.
Sound good?
Uh, anybody wanna order pizza?
Me. Absolutely, yeah.
Hey, I got it!
Listen, why don't you just think of this as several of our 15 minutes breaks strung together?
Got a bottle in here from '84. It's from Napa.
Fancy.
Well, actually the wine is made by a married couple
who have sort of a mom-and-pop vineyard thing going.
I was taught to choose quality over labels.
I think we're getting to know each other minus sexual overtones.
Well, it is possible.
You know, Jen, it bothers me that you assume the worst about me.
I don't about you.
Well, given our previous encounters, plus your reputation,
what would you expect me to assume?
That we're a lot alike.
That reputations aren't worth the air they're written on,
and that the only way to really get to know someone is by getting to know them.
Deal.
I don't want to let go just yet..
Ok, for 200 points,
the most famous of the romantic poets?
- Pope. - Wrong. Dawson?
- Shelley? - Wrong again.
"Two beings were drifting, each one to the other,
no moments, veil-lifting, or hint from other." Hardy.
Impressive, but wrong-o! Pacey?
"Would you eat them in a box?
Would you eat them with a fox?" Seuss!
I so hate you right now.
Keats. It was Keats.
Ding, ding! Ok...for an additional 100 points,
can you give us his most famous quote?
Ok. Come on.
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty."
Um, he's right. I forgot.
It would seem so.
Whoa, maybe we should hit that hot tub?
What do you think, chill out a bit?
We've been chillin' out for 2 hours.
What we need to do now is focus.
Well, then, what do we have here?
Why did I take you more for the national geographic type?
You've got to be kidding me!
"How pure are you?"
God, talk about an open can of worms.
Oh, excellent.
No way, no. We're already behind.
Come on, Lieutenant!
I vote for one last bonding event before I go back to academic torture.
Why not?
Ok, in an effort to keep this moment of folly under control, I'm taking charge.
There's 100 questions total, and I only have one test.
We'll pass it around and take turns asking.
Write your answers on the paper and we'll total when finished.
Ok, um, Pacey? Why don't you start?
Alrighty. Question #1:
"Have you ever been intimately aroused by a relative?"
So, it's a southern test, huh?
"Have you ever experimented with bondage?"
"Have you ever gotten cozy in an airplane?"
"..In a public place?"
"..In your parent's bed?"
"Have you ever caught your parents having sex?"
"Have you ever named your most private of regions?"
Number 69. Whoa!
"Have you ever participated in.."
"Have you ever engaged in sexual activity with a member of the same sex?"
"...with a transvestite?"
"...with a 4-legged creature?"
"Have you ever paid for sex?"
Does dinner count? Question #84:
"Have you ever fantasized about a friend's significant other?"
Very quiet in the room all of a sudden.
"Have you ever had an affair with a friend's significant other?"
In my fantasy.
Give me this.
"Have you ever had an affair with a friend's pet?"
How come I get all the animal questions?
Ok, #100:
Um, "Have you ever been in love?
If so, how many times? Give yourself a point of purity for each time."
Ok, let's score 'em up!
Everybody ready?
Not now, Dawson.
I saw the look on your face when you read that question.
Is this your version of space?
You're free to leave anytime.
I don't see you making a rush for the door.
That's because I came here to study.
I didn't know you were coming.
Is it so awful that I'm here?
No! Stop putting words into my mouth.
I asked for time, Dawson, just time.
Please respect that.
Issues. Dawson, right?
Dina Wolfe here, in case you didn't remember.
Dina, do you know where the coffee is?
Yeah, drip or instant?
Um, drip.
Appropriate.
Tough room.
With me, always.
So, care to fill me in on the details of your little love affair?
I'd rather not discuss it, actually, thanks.
You're right, Dawson. Why talk?
People like you and me, we can say everything with a look.
And the totals are as follows, Chris clocked in with the least pure score of 66%,
Jen is a close second with 69%,
Joey and Dawson bring us up the scale with a matching level of 85%,
and I round us up with a 92.
Wait a minute... We're missing one here.
It's right here. Oh, why didn't you turn it in?
Didn't really want to. Hand it over.
You dog!
This wouldn't have anything to do with question #16.
Sixteen? I don't get it.
Yeah, we blew right past it,
but I think we should read it again aloud.
What do you say, Pace?
Chris, stop it. Come on. I'm dying to know.
What'd you put for 16, Witter?
Let's just put an old rumor to rest right now.
Is there anything redeeming about you other than your house?
Ouch.
Ok, will someone please tell me what you guys are talking about?
Ok, I'll look it up myself.
Um, 16: "Have you ever had sex with someone... twice your age?"
Huh? It's a joke, right?
Well, it's true after all.
Witter laid the pipe with Miss Jacobs.
I don't know whether to congratulate you or fall off my chair.
Miss Jacobs... the teacher who left Capeside?
Pacey... you said that you were embarrassingly pure.
Those were your words, right?
Chris, do you know where they may have gone?
I'm telling you, they're out there screwing around by now.
Everyone knows makeup sex is the best kind.
I wouldn't know.
Don't worry, bud.
The way you and Joey are going at it,
there's bound to be some serious make-up sex in your future.
So...
So?
How am I doing? With?
The lovely Jen Lindley. You guys used to date.
You know how she thinks. She likes me, huh?
Well, you never have had much trouble attracting the opposite sex, Chris.
Yeah, but, uh, Jen's different.
She's, uh, too with it.
Closing the deal requires a completely different strategy.
You mean sleeping with her.
No, I mean a heavy game of Uno.
It's not going to happen.
We'll see.
You know, Chris,
Jen is in this really weird vulnerable state right now.
Don't take advantage of that.
Relax.
We won't do anything she's not looking forward to.
We'll see.
Ah, if it's proof you need,
you see that light up there in the guest house?
When that light's off,
that means I'm inside with Jen...
...lowering both our purity levels, and you?
You'll be out here alone.
Let me know if you need to borrow a swimsuit.
God, I can't believe this place.
They've got brand-new swimsuits just for visitors.
Nice digs.
What's the matter, Jo? You're not gonna give in to a little hot tub temptation?
I'm just gonna study, thanks.
You know, I really am sorry about you and Dawson,
and I know that you may not believe it.
You know, you're right! I don't!
Thanks, Joey.
Thanks for making our conversation just as delightful as ever.
Anytime.
You know, I used to think that it was our mutual feelings
for Dawson that kept us apart.
I never really considered the fact that maybe you were just a bitch.
Look. Jen, I didn't mean to be so harsh.
God, I am so sick of talking all the time.
I just want to follow my feelings and not think and discuss it.
We run it into the ground and...
Don't you just want to have something left to just experience?
As much as anyone.
I was beginning to think you walked all the way home.
Why didn't you tell me about her?
It never came up.
No good, Pacey. It did, and you lied.
Come on, Andie, what was I supposed to say?
Ok, well how about for starters,
"Oh, before you fall for me, Andie, I slept with my teacher."
Oh, right, there's an easy sentence.
It's not a joke, ok? It's serious.
And despite your braggart tendencies, Pacey,
it's not exactly an admirable event.
That's not fair, Andie.
You're judging me, and you don't even know the circumstances.
Besides, I slept with her, not you.
Why would you do it, Pacey? Why?
Sex.
Oh, so there were no feelings involved.
Of course there were feelings involved. You asked why.
Ok, I take it back. I don't want to know anymore.
You're not like that.
Of course I'm like that!
I'm a sexual creature, Andie, and so are you.
Why do you think we talk about it so much?
Why do you think we joke about it?
Why do you think we give each other tests
to see how pure we are?
No, no, no! That's different.
That's completely innocent.
No, it's not!
The test was about sex, and sex is never innocent!
It's intense, it's passionate,
and sometimes it can be life-altering,
but it's never innocent, Andie,
and I'm really sorry if this changes the way that you feel about me,
but I can't change that.
And if things are going to continue between us,
I think you're just gonna have to accept that.
Yo Jen! Hot tub's ready.
Be right down.
Jen, hey! Dawson, what? You're not going in?
No, um, can I talk to you for a second?
Yeah...
I'm worried Chris doesn't exactly have the best of intentions here.
Tell me something I don't know.
You're aware that his goal is to sleep with you tonight?
He's a guy. He's 16 and he...
...seems to find me attractive,
so yes, I would assume he's got some sort of agenda.
And you're ok with that?
Just because he has some sort of master plan
doesn't mean that I've got to go along with it.
Ok...
For that matter, why do you assume I don't have a plan of my own?
No-- uh, I just--
Psst! Gorgeous!
What? Do you hide in the vents?
So you dated both of them, huh?
You certainly do your research.
Which one's the one?
On your test, you put you'd been in love once.
I'm dying to know.
Is it Cameron Diaz or Julia Roberts?
How did you... It's called an answer sheet.
It's called... here!
Give me that.
Wait. Not so fast!
I have one you want much more.
Joey's?
She puts a little smiley face in her o's.
Kind of makes me want to puke.
Let me see it.
Not so fast, this toll has a fee.
Ok. What?
You've got to be kidding me.
That's not gonna happen.
I think you'll find her last answer rather interesting.
Seems while you've only been in love once,
according to you-know-who's answer sheet,
she's been in love... twice.
All right, that's enough. It's time to study.
No, no. Relax. We're in a hot tub.
Studying's not permitted.
Really? Then, what is? This.
And... what if I don't want to mess around?
Then we won't.
Jen, I'm not a bad guy. I just want to have fun.
Well, then tell me,
Christopher Robin, what is your idea of fun?
This.
So, Jen... Are we on the same page?
Same page.
Is she ok? Yeah. She'll be fine.
She just wants to be alone right now, you know?
Why didn't you just write "no"?
I didn't want to lie to her.
I mean, I don't know. What would you have done?
I'd like to think I would have been honest.
I don't know. It's...
...I seem to have trouble saying a lot of things lately.
You know what? What?
Try harder.
Look, no more rounds tonight, Dawson. I am so tired.
I'm actually trying to get 5 minutes of studying in.
Jo, I thought what we had was special.
Look, I'm serious. I don't want to talk about anything but this.
You wrote that you have been in love twice.
You looked at my test?!
No, I've learned my lesson about invading your privacy.
Chris's sister was kind enough to impart that information.
Joey, you said that I was your world.
When did you have time for guy #2?
I don't believe you're shallow enough
to fall in love with Jack after one kiss.
Look, stop it! I don't understand!
Look, I don't know, ok?!
Why can't we go back to the way things were?
Why can't we just be friends, Dawson?
That's really what you want? Yes!
After all we've been through, just friends?
Yeah.
If you don't understand why that can't happen,
if you don't get that, you don't get me!
Very emotional. Oscar nominating. Really.
Go away.
Dawson, you aren't crying, are you?
You wanted a kiss. Is that what you want?
Are you prepared for everything that comes with that kiss?
'Cause it doesn't just end with a fade out.
There are repercussions. Hearts get broken.
Friendships get ruined.
Your entire life could fall apart because of one kiss.
That's what you have to look forward to.
Do yourself a big favor... Don't rush it.
Knock, knock.
What do you want?
To hang out with the only sane individual here.
He's so mean.
All boys are.
It's their easiest way of expressing themselves.
After tonight, I'm avoiding growing up at all costs.
Sounds good. Let me know if you have any luck.
Aren't you supposed to be arguing the other side?
Convincing me that growing up can be
such a beautiful experience if I just let it?
I see.
You want the "I'm older than you, so here's how it works" speech?
How's this? Growing up sucks.
Not all kisses are magic,
and most boys do not live up to your expectations,
but there are those times when everything, I mean love,
romance, relationships,
it all falls together perfectly and it's incredible.
It's those moments, no matter how depressingly few and far between,
that make growing up worth it.
You'll be ok.
Oh, my god! Tell me it is not 6 am.
-It's 6 -am.
Wake up, wake up!
Pacey, the test is in 4 hours.
Oh my god! I must have been studying and I passed out.
Hey, relax. Where's the binder?
Binder's on the porch, I'll get it.
We don't have any time!
What's happening? Where is everyone?
Everyone is totally asleep, totally unstudied,
totally unprepared, and totally screwed!
Morning.
Hey.
They're getting up. We should get down there.
Thank you.
For?
For a very fun night.
Hang on a sec, I'll get dressed and come down with you.
No, no. That's cool. Just, take your time.
I'll meet you down there.
Alright, everybody, listen up!
We got exactly four concentrated hours
in which to study for the deadliest exam of our young adult lives.
Now, going off an abbreviated version of Andie's lesson plan,
I plan on constructing a 3 hour and 45 minute lesson plan,
which, if executed properly, will cover everything.
You following me?
Pacey, this test is way too... Shh! Listen, don't worry.
Boys and girls, you happen to be in the hands of a professional crammer.
Let's start with Beowulf.
How many monsters did he have to fight and name one.
Three. Grendel.
Good, now on to the hard stuff.
Which one of the Bronte sisters wrote Wuthering Heights?
Emily. Charlotte.
It was Emily. Charlotte!
Charlotte wrote Jane Eyre.
Then what did Emily write? Wuthering Heights.
"To be or not to be. That is the question."
"Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings..."
Name the little people in Gulliver's Travels.
Lilliputians.
The big bad scary people. Brob...
Brob... brob... Bromd... brom..
D-Ding?
"Arms against a sea of troubles."
To sleep..
Name three occupations of travelers in the canterbury tales.
Knight! Summoner!
Come on! Come on! Did we say knight?
"And by a sleep to say we end."
"To die, to sleep, to sleep perchance to dream."
I'll buy it.
Bromdaming!
Brobdingnagians.
Congratulations, guys, we're done,
but I got one last group activity.
Hey.
Wow. You really took control in there.
You have an interesting way of doing that.
Yeah, well, I perform well under pressure.
I want to explain something to you.
You really don't have to talk about this, Andie.
I do, Pacey.
I mean, I'm the queen of keeping dirty secrets.
So I understand why you didn't jump forward with the information.
I think I was just more shocked by the idea
that you have so much experience and I, um...
Will.
You're such a jerk! A slacker jerk.
A champion slacker jerk. And what does that make you?
I don't know, Pacey. You tell me.
I dare you.
You, Andie McPhee, are the girl that I love to hate.
I love to hate you, too.
Not forgiven. It's a no?
Hey.
Can we talk?
Sure.
Do me a favor and don't say anything, ok?
Every time we speak, I always screw this up.
Just please listen.
Ok?
All I've been thinking about lately is how much I want to take back our first kiss.
How much I would pay to just let you climb through that window.
I mean, who knows what would have happened?
Maybe we'd still be best friends.
Maybe you'd even still have a thing for me.
I just know that I wouldn't be hurting like this.
But then I think about...
...everything that kiss brought into my life.
What it was like to look at you and know not just what you were thinking,
but also what you were feeling because I was feeling the same thing,
and then it's worth it.
It's worth all the pain that I'm going through.
I want to regret kissing you, Joey, but I can't.
It was the smartest decision I ever made.
Dawson, the two times I fell in love,
on the test, they were both you.
I mean, the first time I fell was for my friend,
the Dawson I grew up with, the boy across the creek,
and the second time was after we kissed.
I mean, you became this whole new person to me and...
I fell in love all over again.
I mean, just because we're not together anymore
does not change my feelings for you, Dawson.
It's me I'm unsure of.
Joey, I'm going to give you that space.
No hostility, no underhanded comments, just space.
But that doesn't change the way I feel about you.
Nothing can change that.
Come on, Dawson! Let's go!
"Dear class, sometimes preparation teaches you more than the exam itself therefore,
you have more of it.
My illness has claimed me for another day. Test rescheduled."
Well, looks like we crammed all night for nothing.
Now what are we supposed to do?
Go to our other classes, I guess.
Actually, no. I got one last group activity.
Follow me.