Previously on Dawson's Creek
Guys, USC is not for me. I want to drop out.
Choose your own path.
Dad, that's what I'm trying to do.
No, you're not. You're following Joey down hers.
Is Joey the kind of person that you are willing
to take a very big leap of faith for?
I can't live the life that you want me to have.
I have to have my own.
You are making a mistake.
And I'm disappointed in you
I've alienated myself from both my parents.
Can I do something to help?
You can tell me that I, without a doubt,
made the right decision.
That this decision will have nothing
but positive repercussions for the rest of my life.
Your mother...
How is she holding up?
She cries a lot.
I understand.
And you? How are you?
People ask me that a lot.
It's a weird question.
Every time I start to give
too long of an answer,
which I'm starting to do right now,
those same people get very uncomfortable.
Not you, though, huh?
I guess you're an old pro at this.
You could say that.
I'm fine.
That one.
Very nice choice.
Very tasteful.
Thank you.
Hey.
What's with the furrowed brow?
Better watch out.
You're gonna give yourself a wrinkle.
Pacey, I've got some bad news.
Aw, why don't you look like you're kidding?
Doug gave me a call.
He said he's been trying to get in touch with you.
He left you a bunch of messages at the restaurant.
Yeah, I know. I meant to call him back,
but what are you gonna do?
You probably should've.
What's going on?
It's Mitch. Um...
He's dead.
What?
Well, how?
It was a car accident.
And i-i-is everybody-- I mean--
They're all fine.
It was just Mitch. He was alone.
When did this happen, Jo?
It happened a couple of nights ago.
Ohh.
How's Dawson doing?
Well, he's not so good.
His father's dead.
Right. That's a stupid question.
No, you're entitled, believe me.
I've said about 800 stupid things
to him in the last couple of days,
but, um, you want to come with me?
Do you really think that I should?
What are you talking about?
Well, I...
Maybe he doesn't want me there, Jo.
Ok, your father dies tomorrow.
You're at the funeral.
You look up, and you see Dawson.
Would that mean something to you?
Would seeing one of your oldest friends mean som--
Just give me 5 minutes.
Be right there.
Can I talk to you about something?
Sure.
I'm nervous.
About what?
Seeing him.
Why?
Because I don't know what to say.
I don't think he's expecting you to give a speech, Jen.
I couldn't sleep last night.
I was up and tossing and turning,
trying to figure out what to say,
how I was gonna act.
No one ever knows what to say,
but when Tim died, you wouldn't believe
some of the things that people said to me.
But the thing is, no matter what you say or what you do,
Dawson is alone in this, ok?
There isn't a word or a sentence in the English language
that can take away the kind of pain that he's dealing with.
Well, so then, what do I do?
You've just gotta figure out
your own way of being there for him.
Ok.
You having a good birthday?
Yeah, definitely.
How's it feel to be 12 years old?
Pretty good.
I think I'm ready for a girlfriend.
Oh, you think so?
Yeah.
Well, I'd say give it a few years.
You've got plenty of time
before girls start clouding your head.
Ha, ok.
Did you like all your gifts?
Yeah, I loved 'em, especially the 1941 video.
Which was not easy to find, let me tell you.
Thank you, Dad. Don't mention it.
You know, I could be wrong,
but I think you've got one more gift coming to you.
Nope. I opened them all.
Are you sure? Pretty sure.
I don't know...
I think maybe you better take a look...
In the closet.
Go on.
Well, come on! Bring it out.
Open it up.
The guy at the store said it was a real good one for making movies.
Great editing capabilities,
and it comes with its own tripod.
Thank you, Dad. Ha ha.
You're welcome, Dawson.
Dad, this...
This must have been really expensive,
but you're not gonna regret it.
I swear, I'm gonna make so many movies on this.
This is not a phase.
Oh, don't worry about that, Dawson.
Just enjoy it.
Let the things you love be your escape.
Dawson?
Joey...hey.
You're smiling.
I was?
You were.
Is there anything I can do?
Um...yeah, actually. You know what? There is.
Would you mind watching Lily for a little bit?
My mom fell asleep. I've gotta get to the funeral home.
Of course.
Great.
Is that what you're wearing? It's nice.
Uh, no. Actually, it's for my dad.
He's gonna be buried in it.
I'm sorry.
Jo, that's ok. You couldn't have known that.
I won't be long.
Why don't you let me take her for a while, dear?
I'm afraid I can't do that, Grams.
Lily here offers a great buffer.
As long as I hold her,
people tend not to come up to me
and offer their platitudes.
Where's your mother?
She's upstairs.
She won't come down.
So, what's yours?
My what?
Your platitude.
I'm afraid I'm fresh out.
Really?
I thought for sure you'd whip out
"The Lord works in mysterious ways."
Hmm.
The Lord and I, we...
We aren't on speaking terms this week.
Listen, Joey...
I don't want you climbing up the trellis anymore, ok?
It's dangerous. You could hurt yourself,
and if that happened, I don't think my son would ever forgive me.
Yeah, right.
Sooner or later, Joey,
he's gonna pull his head out of the sand.
He'll figure it out.
Probably not as soon as you'd like,
boys are stupid like that.
Hey.
What you doing?
Trying to decide between a glass of orange juice
and a bottle of wine.
Any thoughts?
Well, wine's fine, but whiskey's quicker.
What about narcotics?
Oh, even better.
You know, times like this,
I really wish I was more of a drug person,
but I don't know.
Starting up just seems like such a hassle.
Yeah, plus, you can't really score any good dope in Capeside.
Good point. Orange juice it is.
So, I've been trying to figure exactly
what it is that I’m supposed to say to you.
I feel terrible, Dawson, I really do.
I mean, I can't imagine what you're going through,
but I feel so helpless.
I mean, if this were about a girl,
I could offer sage advice,
but...this is out of my league.
The only person that was ever taken from me was my grandfather,
and that was a long time coming, you know.
So here's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna give you a hug,
and I'm not gonna let go for a really long time.
I'm gonna tell you that I love you,
which is actually a pretty good deal,
'cause that means that I'll do anything
on the off chance it'll make you a little less sad.
That sounds very good to me.
I, uh, can't believe that he's gone.
I keep expecting to hear his car in the driveway,
his keys in the lock,
footsteps on the stairs.
So, how's the party?
It's fabulous. The paté is all the rage.
And how's our boy?
Great. He's keeping it all together.
Which is exactly what bothers me.
Me, too.
He's stubborn, Joey. He's just like his father.
You know, I know this probably doesn't mean much now,
but he's not really gone, you know.
'Cause if ever there was someone
who was an absolute reflection of his father,
it's Dawson.
You think so?
You know, growing up,
spending that time with you guys...
I think I was too little to really understand it,
but I--I always knew there was something special
about the way you guys looked at each other.
Like you were in on this great little secret
that the rest of us weren't privy to,
and my parents never had that...
Not even in the best of times.
I'm not gonna sit here and--and try to pretend
to know what was going through his mind before he died, but...
I know your husband loved you very much.
Hey.
Dawson.
Hey, man.
Thanks for comin'.
Of course...
But I can't say that this is exactly
the way I wanted to see you again for the first time.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
How was your summer?
My summer was really good.
It was really, really good, actually.
It totally cleared my head.
Good.
How's film school treatin' ya?
Uh...
I'm gonna be droppin' out, actually.
Why?
It's a long story.
Gotcha.
I'm sorry, Dawson.
I wish I had somethin' better to say to you than that,
but that's really what it boils down to.
I'm really, really sorry.
Remember the time he caught us smoking down here?
Yeah. I, uh... Of course I remember.
Sixth grade, right? I don't think I've ever seen your father so mad.
Being Mitch, he had to tell us
that he was just concerned for us,
which was a bit of a surprise to me
because if it was my father,
it would be kind of a different story.
In fact, I guarantee I'd still be smoking to this day
just to piss him off.
Ahh...
Well...
I should probably head inside
and make myself useful or something.
All right? Of course.
It was good to see you, Pace.
Yeah.
Come here.
Dawson.
You probably don't remember me, Dawson,
but I'm Susan. I'm an old friend
of your mother's from college.
Right. You're my mom's deadhead friend.
That's right.
Uh, tell me, are you dealing with your grief?
Uh... I'm dealing.
How are you dealing with it?
Um, not to be rude,
but I--I don't know what you're talking about.
Where are you channeling all the feelings you're having
about your father's passing?
Um...
You know, not to be rude again,
but I really don't have the time or the luxury.
Oh, you must take the time, Dawson.
Hi.
You've reached the Leerys...
Minus Dawson, that is,
who can be reached in sunny California these days.
If you have a message for Gale, Lily, or myself, however,
you can leave it at--
Hey. - I'm fine.
I'm...
I'm fine.
Not one of my finer moments, huh?
You know, a long time ago--
it must have been a couple of months after my mom passed away--
I was digging through this drawer in the kitchen
looking for a pen or something,
and I came across this grocery list she had made,
and it was filled with all these little heart-shaped doodles,
and I just...lost it.
I cried like a baby for hours.
If what just happened to you in there
had happened to me back then,
I would have run away screaming.
I can't do that.
Who says?
I do. I can't.
My mom's a wreck. I gotta keep it together.
She's allowed to be a wreck, and so are you.
I'll make you a deal.
You take care of your mom,
I'll take care of you.
I gotta say, Jo, I--
when your mom died, I sympathized with you, and I really felt bad,
but I had no idea it felt like this.
Nothing feels real. It's like I've been
transported to some alternate universe
where I'm just walking around
outside my body all day long.
It'll get better. I promise.
That's good. Any, uh, advice
on how I should deal with the fact
that my father's death was almost entirely my fault?
What? How do you figure that?
Come on, Jo. Think about it.
If I hadn't come back and laid all this on him,
none of this would've happened.
Dawson, look at me.
You father died in a car accident.
There was nothing you could do to stop that.
That's not entirely true, Jo.
That's, I mean...
First off, if I hadn't showed up that morning,
my mom wouldn't have made me breakfast,
which means they wouldn't have run out of milk,
which means my dad wouldn't have had to drive to the store that night
so Lily would have some in the morning.
That's crazy.
Don't tell me what's crazy, Jo.
For all I know, my dad was driving along that night,
pissed, having some argument with me in his head
which caused him to take his eyes off the road
just long enough to--
Look, you can't do this to yourself.
You--you know what he said to me
the last time I saw him?
Hmm?
He said that I was making a huge mistake
and that he was disappointed in me.
I know. You told me that.
You remember what else you told me?
He said he loved you very much.
I'll never go through life
doubting that my father loved me, Jo, but...
Do you have any idea how much it sucks
to know that my father was disappointed in me the day he died?
And he was right. I was acting crazy like a spoiled brat,
and if I'd listened to him,
he would've been driving me to the airport
instead of driving to his death.
You all right, dear?
Oh, I'm hanging in there, I guess.
You know, every night for 46 years,
I prayed the good Lord would take me first.
I never wanted to go on without him.
I didn't think I was capable of it.
But somehow, I was.
It wasn't easy, but inevitably there comes a day
that isn't as bad as the one before it.
And until then?
Well, that's what prescription medication is for.
Oh, it's a strange thing we do.
What's that?
Falling in love.
You share your life with another person.
You--you give them your heart
to the extent that losing them could potentially destroy you.
It's a crazy thing to do.
You're right. It's insane.
Then why on earth do we do it?
What else is there?
Oh, I wish I still lived next door.
So do I.
I could stay for a while if you like,
help out with Lily.
Oh, that is such a generous offer, Evelyn,
and I do love you for it,
but, um...
No, I--I think Dawson and I
are gonna have to meet this one head on.
You sure?
I'm sure.
Well, I understand,
but don't you hesitate to pick up the phone, young lady.
We merry widows have to stick together.
Hey.
Everyone's starting to leave.
I'll see ya.
I can stay as long as you want.
That's sweet of you, Jo.
I'm serious.
I know you are,
but you gotta get back to school.
School doesn't matter right now, Dawson.
I'll be ok. Dawson.
Joey, I wanna be alone.
Ok?
Ok. Call me if you need me.
Will you do that? I will.
Bye.
You know, I can't say as I have ever seen the Potter B&B
quite so crowded.
Nothin' like a funeral to drum up business.
You wanna know what the worst part about death is?
It has this horrible tendency
of putting everyone in a really bad mood.
When I go, I want to go in a way
in which it makes everybody laugh.
You know, like, no matter how sudden
or tragic the circumstances,
you just can't help but laugh...
Like getting run over by a car full of clowns.
That's kinda funny, right?
You smiled. Mission accomplished.
He blames himself, you know.
Why?
Well...
He wanted to drop out of USC and move to Boston,
and Mitch thought he was crazy,
and they had this huge blowout.
Why on earth would Dawson Leery, of all people,
want to drop out of film school?
Oh. Heh.
I get it.
It's ok. You can tell me, Jo.
I'm not gonna get upset.
Oh, Pace, I didn't ask him to,
if that's what you mean. I--
Oh, look. If anybody understands
the various shades of gray here, it's me,
and I think it's time the two of you got your shot...
Because the way I see it, you never did,
and this world could use as many Romeo and Juliets as it can get.
Look what happened to them.
This thing's gonna be tip-top, baby. Don't you worry.
Oh, I'm not worried.
I'll just call someone to fix it when the bottom falls out.
Oh, ye of little faith.
Mrs. Leery, have I ever let you down?
No, Mr. Leery, you haven't.
What do you think he's gonna be?
If he's anything like you, a pain in the ass.
A lot of fathers want their sons to play baseball.
Not me.
Team sports teach conformity.
I hope he's a freak.
A freak? Yeah.
Freaks never peak in high school.
They never grow up to sell real estate,
drink heavily on the weekends, and beat their kids.
Well, then, let's hope for a freak.
Mom, you ok?
Uh...
Yeah.
For the moment.
You wanna know what the worst part is?
What?
She'll never even know he existed.
Not if I have anything to do about it.
She's gonna hear about her daddy every chance I get.
Oh, I'm such a mess.
I'm sorry, honey.
Mom, don't ever apologize.
You are gonna get your life back, I promise.
Mom, I'm not going anywhere.
Not anytime soon.
My place is here with you and Lily.
Honey, you don't have to be so strong all the time.
You can fall to pieces just about any time you want.
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
I'm not ashamed.
There's--
Everybody keeps on asking me, "How you doin'?
How you feelin'?"
Truth is, I don't feel anything.
Not a thing. I'm numb.
Which, to tell you the truth, is really not so bad.
Um, that's great...
Until it all comes crumbling down.
Well...until then.
Ok, Pacey, now...
Got your foot on the brake?
Ok, put her in reverse...
And gently-- ohh, ooh. Careful.
Watch the flowers. Heh heh.
My wife will have me killed.
And park.
There you go, Pacey. You did it.
You know how to drive.
Not terribly well, mind you,
but good enough to pass that test.
Thank you for your help, Mr. Leery.
It's my pleasure.
Just sorry your father had to work.
Yeah, me, too.
Go easy on him, Pacey.
Can't always be fun being Sheriff of these parts.
I guess I just wish he was around more.
Listen, you ever wanna practice,
you knock on my door.
Ok?
Ok.
Hey, man.
How ya doing today?
He's still dead. It still sucks.
Wanna go for a ride with me?
What the hell are we doing here?
Wanna show you something.
According to my brother, your father was driving down the road here
at about 45 miles an hour.
Which is, granted, a little bit above the speed limit,
but not at all unusual for this stretch of road.
At the same time, a man named Gary Peters was getting off work,
driving down the road a little farther up, just around the bend.
Gary Peters is a pretty average guy.
35 years old, wife, 2 kids.
Works as a baggage handler for blue star airlines.
And Gary had to pull a double shift that day,
and it must've been a real bitch
'cause when he came around that bend,
he was asleep at the wheel.
Why are you doing this, Pacey? Why?
Because I want you to know
that it was a man named Gary Peters who killed your father.
A guy who should've known better
than to get behind the wheel of a car.
A guy who, for the rest of his life,
will carry around the guilt of taking Mitch Leery
away from his wife and 2 kids.
And I want you to know that that guy is not you.
It's not you, Dawson.
Do not blame yourself for this.
You wanna grieve? You go right ahead. Be my guest.
But do not for one single second
think that this is your fault,
because it is not your fault.
You got your father for 18 years...
And that is a hell of a lot more than some people get.
And your father did one hell of a job, Dawson.
He made you into a man.
And he made you into a man that people care about
and admire and respect
and most importantly, love.
So, why am I doing this?
I'm doing this because, once upon a time,
you and I were best friends.
And that means that whenever you need me, I'm here.
Any time, anywhere, any place. Forever.
You understand that?
We should get going.
What was he like?
Well, he was a dad.
You know, in the best possible way, I mean.
He was warm and caring and just the kind of pain in the ass
you secretly want your parents to be.
How's Dawson doing?
I wouldn't know.
Didn't want anything to do with me.
I thought I'd be able to help him.
I thought I would be this incredible resource
'cause I've been there, you know?
He didn't want anything from me.
He didn't even just wanna sit there in silence.
He wanted me out of his sight.
Honey? Yeah?
We're outta milk. Would you mind--
I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss, Dawson.
Thank you, Mr. Brennan. I appreciate it.
He was here, you know.
That night. Your father.
I know.
I asked him about you.
He said, uh, you were a royal pain in the ass.
That's me.
He was proud, though.
How do I know that, huh?
Well, when I mentioned your name,
his whole face just lit up.
He said you were this brave kid,
but he had no idea how you got to be that way.
He said you had a romantic streak a mile long,
and he said he was proud to know you.
I'm sorry if that makes you sad, Dawson,
but I figure if somebody says that about you,
you ought to know it.
Oh, don't forget your change.
And be certain to convey my condolences to your mother,
would you? Thank you. I will.
All right! I think I've got it figured out.
Ok, quick. Let's go, everybody. Gather.
Hurry up, 'cause what this family really needs
is another picture.
Oh, don't be so fresh.
Yeah. Lose the 'tude, dude.
Clever, Dad. Smiles, people.
All right. Great! That was wonderful.
I am now late for the movies with Joey, Jack, and Jen.
Have fun, honey.
No drinking and driving.
Hey, Dad, just so you know,
going to the movies is not code
for going out and getting wasted.
Go, go, go. Get out of here.
Have fun. Later, creators.
Well, this one's hungry.
Uh, need some help?
Nah. Stay and play with your camera.
Boys and their toys.
Come on.