Previously on Dawson's Creek
Would you maybe wanna go out tonight, Jack?
You gay guys have it so easy.
I don't love you, which is why I have to stop this now,
before I break your heart and turn you into a bitter cynic.
Don't flatter yourself.
Eddie totally likes you.
Don't mess it up.
If I ever got it into my head to help people,
I would be a hell of a lot better at it than you are.
All I can say is that I'm sorry, Emma.
I took the spineless, corporate route,
and I guess I just forgot that I had a choice.
You always have a choice, Pacey.
Time of wrap, please, Dawson?
12:07 A.M.
So that's what, Monday?
12:07 A.M. sometime in January,
and we have done it, people. We have finished principal photography.
So, although it's rather out of character for me,
I'd like to take this opportunity
to thank all of you for all your hard work
and to propose a toast.
To us,
and our movie. Cheers.
It's strange, isn't it, that all this will just be gone tomorrow,
like it never even existed?
Hey.
Nice speech, by the way.
And don't even bother trying to pretend that it was Todd's idea,
because that puppy had you written all over it.
Sincerity, warmth, and a hint of something, I don't know.
Bittersweet? Or was it just bitter?
Well, that's what wrap parties are all about,
aren't they? I know you're
more experienced at them than I am.
So, are you heading back to L.A. tomorrow, or what?
Yeah, with Todd. You?
Afternoon flight.
Max got me a small part
in that Spielberg film he's doing.
You know, it's, like, 2 days work or whatever, but who knows?
Maybe it'll lead to bigger things.
Knowing you, Natasha, I'm certain it will.
Is that a little attitude?
A break in the oh, so professional on-set demeanor
you've been cultivating since the new year?
Not everyone on the planet
is acting every second of their lives, you know.
No, maybe not, but in Hollywood, they are.
So, good-bye, Dawson.
Good luck out there.
I have a funny feeling about you.
What's that?
That you're gonna need it.
Right.
Hi. It's me.
Um, I'm back at school. I mean, I've been back.
I wasn't going to call you, because, you know, you haven't called me,
and I do have something called pride,
though apparently not enough, because, you win, ok?
I'm being the typical girl and calling you.
And in retrospect, you know,
I really don't think Christmas went that badly,
if you grade it on one of those
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf type scales.
But, um, anyway, you're probably out pounding the pavements
and stuff, so just give me a call
when you get a chance or whenever.
Ok. Bye.
Are you kidding?
So, how did you get in here?
You don't even look a day over 16.
People always think I'm 16,
but, duh, I am totally 18.
Don't you mean 15? Nice talking to you guys.
Ow! Maniac.
Harley, what are you doing here?
I thought Christmas vacation was long over
for the Britney and Christina set.
I'm not on vacation.
Unfortunately, I live here now.
So, where's Eddie? He's the only nice person I know in Boston,
and he still owes me a root-beer float.
Wait a second. You live here full-time now?
As in full-time with your father?
Yes. Why are you smiling?
Sorry. It's just your father's such a great guy,
he deserves to have such a well-behaved, good-natured,
teenage girl living with him full-time.
Speaking of which,
why aren't you in school right now?
If I tell you, will you tell me where Eddie is?
Out with it.
Ok, fine. I was on a field trip, and I ditched.
You would, too, if your entire life was ruined
by your mother's sudden need to do research in Bangladesh.
Harley, your life isn't ruined.
You're just being melodramatic.
Right. Like you would know
what it's like to have your life ruined?
Look, he's not here, ok?
Eddie. And to be honest,
I don't exactly know where he is.
Man, I can't believe you messed it up with him.
He was amazing. He was beyond amazing.
Look, I'll go get you a root-beer float,
and then you have to go back to school.
I don't care how miserable it is.
It's just life. Life is miserable.
Hey, guys. Hey, stay with your partners, guys.
Stay with your partners.
Let's go. Ok.
Shouldn't you be doing that in a museum?
Oh, bloody hell.
Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.
Well, you did.
It's not the sort of place you expect to find stockbrokers.
Give me a break, would you? I'm on my lunch hour.
Mind if I sit?
No, go ahead, but don't sit too close.
I know, that overwhelming physical attraction's
getting to ya, huh?
No, that's not it, exactly.
Really? No.
I just don't want anyone to know
that, uh, you're with me.
Thanks.
What are you doing here, anyway?
I work near here. I come here all the time.
The better question is what are you doing here?
I'm just killing time till 1:00.
What happens at 1:00?
Well, you should know this,
since you come here all the time.
On my lunch hour, which happens at noon.
So I come here, I walk around,
have a slice of pizza,
and I'm out the door by 12:45.
Ah, back to work.
Yeah, that's why they call it the lunch hour.
'Cause, you see, if was to stay till after 1:00,
by the time I got back to work,
it'd be the lunch hour and a half,
and we just can't have that, now, can we?
Then I don't want to keep you.
Excuse me?
It's 12:46.
Oh.
Right.
Right. Then I'll...
I'll just see you back home.
Well, of course it sucks. That's why they call it life.
And what is it really, other than an endless series of mind-numbing days,
one on top of another.
Alienation, despair--
these are the natural by-products of living in a mechanized society--
Ok, stop.
Stop?
Yeah. Um...
A lot of people get depressed this time of year.
I don't think they're calling in hoping to talk to Kierkegaard.
But you said he was a philosophy major.
Whatever. Look, I just, I don't wanna fight, ok?
I get annoyed, and you get defensive.
Let's just move on to the next one.
You know what? Let's not. I quit.
You can't quit. You haven't even started yet.
It's your first day of training. It's your first hour.
Yeah, well, if the training consists of sitting here for a week
and listening to you act superior to me--
I've been doing this for 2 years.
Great. Well, maybe your expertise will come in handy
when we get to a hypothetical situation
involving casual sex and a couple of blond girls.
Maybe you're right about one thing.
Let's call it a day.
So, come back tomorrow or don't come back,
but whatever you decide, you should make it about you, not me.
Ok. This'll do nice. Thanks.
Damn.
What?
Oh, there's no good magazines to read.
That's it? I mean, you're not at all nervous about this?
Oh, it's a piece of cake.
I've done it, like, a million times.
A million?
Give or take.
I'd be a pretty hypocritical peer counselor
if I didn't practice what I preached.
Right.
Seriously, it's no big deal.
And the most embarrassing part is when they ask
what kind of high-risk behavior
you've engaged in the past 3 to 6 months.
The only thing I can come up with
is eating carbs after 9 P.M. and jaywalking.
Jack McPhee?
It's fine.
Blindingly dull. Achingly dull.
Mind-numbingly dull.
I see, and what do these little cards prove exactly?
Other than the fact you've been previewing the bloody thing all along?
They prove that we're not through shooting. That's what they prove.
Reshoots?
Absolutely. More sex. More violence.
Maybe a little twist in the plot
that's not predictable from the very first frame.
I mean, obviously, the goal here
is to try to make this damn thing watchable.
I see. So, you're calling my movie unwatchable?
I don't have to. They did.
You want me to read some more?
No, that won't be necessary, thank you.
Anyone got a light?
If I'm gonna sit here and take artistic advice
from every Tom, dick, and Harry in Tarzana
that didn't have anything better to do last Wednesday night,
then I'm gonna bloody well need some nicotine, all right?
Light, please, Dawson.
Um, you know what? I'm gonna go get one.
Come on. Pick up the phone.
Reach into the pocket and pick up the phone.
Hello?
Shut up before you make this any worse
and get out here.
Hello? Hello?
Excuse me.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Where do you think you're going?
Oh, I'm sorry. Don't mean to be rude.
There's another idiot out in the hall
that requires my attention.
And just what in the bloody hell
do you think you're doing?!
What do I think-- what are you doing?
You're digging yourself a hole in there
bigger than the La Brea tar pits.
Did it ever occur to you that might be my intention?
You never wanna work again?
We're in charge here. We make the decisions.
Which is all well and good except for one thing.
What?
It's their money.
Look, you brought me here for my ability
to stay calm in a crisis, right?
Well, this is it. This is a crisis
'cause if you don't go back in there
and act happy about these reshoots,
they're gonna get somebody else to do it,
somebody who can ruin this movie.
And would that be such a tragedy?
Yes. Look, maybe I'm naive
thinking that this whole system, this whole process,
can only produce something that's a notch above mediocre,
but I want this thing to be good.
I want it to be as good as it possibly can be,
and I don't think I would've stuck it out
working for you this whole time
if you didn't want the same thing.
So, we figure 3 days of reshoots
on a soundstage here in L.A., very minimal budget.
The whole idea here is to, uh, come up with a new ending.
Something that's watchable.
Or at the very least, something that makes sense.
Now, I have no idea what that's going to be,
but Heather here seems fairly confident
that given enough nicotine, alcohol, caffeine,
you might be able to pull something off.
Well, that's, uh, very charitable of her.
Thank you, sweetheart.
Mm-hmm. All right, Todd, what's it gonna be?
Well, I can see where you're coming from.
I can. I can see where you're coming from.
I can see how you and other people like yourself,
people of lesser intelligence,
might be a bit confused by my movie.
And I can see how you actually
don't have any new ideas of your own on how to improve it,
because, after all, you're not really
in the business of having ideas, are you?
Oh, that's right. You think you are.
Well, you're not.
You're in the business of criticizing other people's ideas.
Which is why, after much careful consideration,
I'll be throwing your most generous offer
back in your face and leaving.
Good-bye, and good luck with all your future endeavors.
Well, then, since nobody seems up to the rhetorical challenge
of convincing me that Norman mailer was wrong
when he dismissed all female writers as unreadable,
that's it for Wednesday.
Oh. That can't be Joey Potter.
Guess one "D" isn't enough
to get anyone thrown out of Worthington anymore.
Sweet, really,
your overwhelming concern for my future,
but that's actually not why I'm subjecting myself
to your toxic personality.
Great. And I'll skip ahead to the part where I inform you
that no, no matter how many times you ask,
it will never be possible for you to drop this course
without forfeiting your credits from the first semester.
Look, I don't want to be standing here talking to you
any more than you want to be listening to me.
I just need to tell you that your daughter...
Well, she may not be as safely ensconced in Milton academy
as you currently think she is.
What does that mean?
She's cutting class, ok?
I'm a little confused as to why you're telling me.
She came into the bar yesterday,
on the lam from some field trip, and...
God knows where she went when she left.
I just...
But call me crazy, I just figure
these are the things the father of a 15-year-old girl
wandering the streets of Boston should know.
The subtext here being that these are the things that a father would know
if he were paying attention.
I didn't say that.
You didn't have to.
Look...
I'll tell you what.
Let's make another one of our famous deals.
You stay out of my life,
and I'll do my very best to stay out of yours.
Gladly. You know, I'm sorry for the intrusion.
I guess I was naive enough to think that
this might actually be about something other
than your gigantic male ego.
So you're saying that that doesn't bother you,
the whole life-as-repetitive- stress-injury thing?
No, it does, but nothing prepares you
for a life of mind-numbing boredom and repetition
so much as studying music as a child.
Piano lessons? Violin.
Yeesh. Yeah. My mum taught piano, though,
to a series of ever-changing twits
who all had one thing in common:
They were allergic to dogs.
So you had fish.
Tanks full.
So, what's yours, then?
My what?
You excuse for coming here every day.
It can't simply be a matter of geographic proximity.
No, it's not. It's, uh...
It's much like yours, really.
It's sort of a window into the person that I used to be.
You used to be another person?
Much as I'm sure you weren't born with pink hair,
I am not the conservative person you think that I am.
You're not?
No, I'm not.
Prove it.
Stay.
Stay here?
Come on, I don't think
you taking one afternoon off
is going to send capitalism screeching to its knees.
No, it probably won't,
but it will catapult me to the top
of the Rich Rinaldi firing list.
Yeah, that's such a bloody tragedy.
Here.
Call them.
Tell them, I don't know, that you're sick or something.
You're serious about this?
Yeah.
Question is: Are you?
Hi. Can I speak to Rich Rinaldi, please?
Ok, well, if what you're telling me is true,
is that you've-- you've had unprotected sex
with 17 women in the last 3 months,
then I definitely think it's a good idea for you to get tested.
For you and for all of those hot women you've been sleeping with.
What? I have nailed
many a hot girl in my day.
Hey, I believe you.
Thank you.
I can't believe I volunteer to help you guys
and get criticized for my acting abilities.
Oh, please, like you could ever be straight.
Your heart is too big,
and so is your brain.
She's hostile. Told you.
Could you please not talk about me like I'm not in the room.
So I have some anger.
Can you tell me that there's something wrong with expressing your emotions?
Hey!
Sorry. Am I, uh, interrupting--
No, no, it's cool.
We're--we're done here, I think.
Yeah, it's 4:00. We're done.
So...
You guys think you can get along without me tomorrow, or what?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second.
You mean the only reason you're hanging around here all afternoon
instead of wasting time with me
is because she can't manage to get along with him?
Jen?
Are you mad at me, too?
You can't loan me your boyfriend for one measly hour?
Is he your boyfriend?
Have you guys kissed yet?
Did I miss all of this over Christmas vacation?
Charming. Let's go.
Why are you looking at me?
Hostile.
Aha.
So he's changed his mind, has he?
Come to his senses?
Not that his apology's going to be accepted, mind you.
So where is he?
Caught in traffic? Smoking?
Not exactly.
Dawson?
Yeah. You know, technically, actually,
he's not gonna be here today,
uh, because technically, he...
Doesn't know that this meeting is taking place.
You set this up?
Um--
yeah.
Uh, technically.
You set this up to apologize for him,
to smooth things over,
to clean up after his mess...
Like you've been doing all along?
Yeah, kind of.
Look, nobody sets out to make a bad film.
Todd wants it to be better. I know that he does.
And he might be too proud to admit it,
but he's got, like, 5 alternate endings in his head.
This is stuff we've been talking about all along,
stuff that can easily be done on a soundstage in 3 days
for no money.
Well, that's all very sweet and moving,
but since I don't see him here on his knees begging for forgiveness,
you're wasting my time, my friend.
Unless--
Unless what?
Unless the answer to our problems
is sitting right in front of us.
Excuse me?
I know this is gonna sound crazy,
but just stay with me for a second.
He knows the footage we've already shot.
He knows the script, the actors, the crew.
Personally, from what I've seen,
I think he could do it.
Wait a minute. Hold on a second.
What? You're saying you can't do this?
No. I'm saying this is insane.
All right, let me ask you this.
Hypothetically, if you had to,
could you direct the reshoots of this movie?
Well, yes, but that's not--
All right. Call his agent.
I don't think he has one.
Well, then don't call his agent.
Call his mother and make her sign a permission slip.
Wait a minute. Wait-- hold on a second. This is insane.
This is--this is not why I came here today.
This is not what I wanted to have happen.
Well, guess what? It did.
And since opportunities like this don't come along every day,
I'd hop on the happy train.
Or, I'm sorry,
is being a director not the fulfillment of a dream
you've been waiting your entire life for?
No, it is. It definitely is, but--
We'll be in touch.
Oh, boy.
So did we ever figure out whose party this was?
No. Some dude's,
then I don't suppose we ever figured out what day it is.
Come on! Give me a break!
So's your friend coming to pick us up or what?
I really vote we take a cab.
Yeah, and pay the guy with what?
You know, you being famous doesn't make me any less broke.
What? You're broke?
Yes, Jack, Audrey Liddell is broke.
Is that so impossible to believe?
Wow. Someone must be paying too much for their drugs.
You know, contrary to popular opinion, I'm not on drugs.
Yeah, right.
You know, I hate to be judgmental like your weird college friends,
but please don't rip my lungs out of my chest
when you have some bad PCP.
Shut up, will you? He's coming.
Who? Your friend?
Dawson. Dawson Leery.
I'm sort of on thin ice with him at the moment,
so if you can find it within yourself
to shut up about drugs for, I don't know,
say, the next half an hour--
What? You'll make it worth my while?
Don't I always?
So you're saying I can go through your underwear drawer unsupervised?
No! That's gross!
I'll sit on your lap the whole way home, ok?
All right. Cool.
But one word about any sort of illegal substance,
and you have blown it.
Hey, I have self-control.
I'll believe that when I see it.
I'm going to go wait in the car.
Hey, Jack.
Hey.
You came.
Yeah. You called, right?
The fact that I recently destroyed your house with an automobile
must have, uh, slipped my mind when I was dialing.
I freaked out, ok?
What, then or right now?
Both, I guess.
What are you even doing here, Audrey?
Here in L.A. or here at this weird party?
Either one.
I don't know.
One minute, Jack and I are, like, in a parking lot off sunset
talking to these guys in a limo,
and the next minute, we're here, and it's morning, and...
Like I said,
I just freaked, and...
You were the only person that I knew would be in this area code
and would definitely be awake at this hour.
What about your parents?
Please.
Do they even know that school started back already?
No.
I wasn't ready to go back last week,
so I lied a little bit.
I didn't want to face the grand tribunal of judgment.
I'm ready now, though.
And I'm going to be good from now on, Dawson, I swear.
Just...
Don't be mad.
I mean, don't be any more mad than you already are.
All right. Just...
Tell me you realize how stupid it is
to get in a car full of strangers
that you meet in a parking lot.
Hey, it's me again.
Um, look, I get that you're avoiding me.
I do. Many days, no phone calls. What could be clearer?
But, um...
I'm scared now,
because I don't understand why you wouldn't call me back.
It's not like you, ok?
And I guess I'm just scared
that something may have happened to you,
because--and even if something did happen to you,
I wouldn't know about it, because, obviously,
I'm not a very important person in your life.
So...
Could you just...
Call me back?
Uh...
Call me back as soon as possible.
Bye.
Mmm...
Any luck this time?
When have I ever been lucky with men?
He'll call you back, Joey. I know he will.
Uh, yeah, yeah.
There's usually a very logical explanation for this kind of thing.
Yeah, I guess.
Hey, can you guys, um--
pay the bill that's been sitting here for, like, a century?
Yeah.
You guys are welcome to stay as long as you want.
It's just...
I don't feel that great. I want to get home early.
Yeah, it's no problem.
Here. Ahem.
Keep the change.
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Bye.
Well, that was depressing.
There's nothing sadder in the universe
than watching somebody wait for a phone call
that's obviously never going to come.
Oh, sure there is.
There's orphans, sick orphans.
Plus, we don't know if this guy's not gonna call.
Oh, please.
We're guys, aren't we?
How many people have you ruthlessly hooked up with
and never called?
A few.
Look, I went out a lot this summer, all right?
And?
And I didn't call a few of the guys back.
Look, if a straight guy did it,
it would be rakishly charming, you know?
You meet someone, ok?
You think you're going to like them--
And then after closer examination,
you don't.
Yeah.
But only after
the closer examination part.
Basically.
Are you going to give me some kind of lecture here, or what?
Do you want one?
Not particularly.
Fine.
Ok. Let's go, Harley.
You're outta here. Get your coat.
Excuse me?
Look, I really don't have the energy
to go through all of this again today.
In case you've forgotten,
we've already played this scene 2 days ago.
Yeah, and then you ratted me out to my father,
who grounded me for a month.
So I figured the only way I could repay you
would be to cut class again.
Right.
You really think I'm going to leave you here
with a possible date-rapist who thinks you're 18?
I don't think so.
I'm leaving. You're leaving.
Let's go now.
I can't believe you talked me into staying for this yesterday.
I mean, big fish eating little fish. What's the big deal?
This is what you drag your butt down here for every day?
Well, if it was a big company eating a little company,
you'd love it.
And for the record,
I don't come here every day.
You don't?
Not normally, no.
Usually just when I have a hangover.
So, then what was this week?
Some sort of special occasion?
I've just been wondering what's it all for.
I mean, if what you've told me over the last couple of days is true,
then you've pretty much changed your entire life,
and I'm not entirely sure why.
How the hell should I know?
Why does anybody change their life?
Why do people dye their hair, for that matter?
To piss off my mum.
Or to try to be somebody else?
For me, it would be the latter.
And why do you want to be somebody else?
Because that's a part of growing up.
Let me tell you, Pacey at 15 was a bit of a schmuck--
bad haircut, bad Hawaiian shirts,
broke all the time.
Dumb enough to be chasing after things
he knew he was never going to get, anyway.
Mostly women, I suppose.
Mostly...
Though there were a few girls.
And you are allowed to call them girls when they're 16.
Hmm.
Not that you care what I think, but...
I don't think he sounds that bad,
this person you used to be.
He actually sounds kind of nice.
Yeah, well, maybe he was...
Occasionally.
Hmm, still could be.
Quit the job.
Get rid of that goatee.
Grow back the terrible haircut.
What if I told you
I'd actually been thinking about that lately?
I'm not sure I'd believe you.
Unless...
Unless what?
Unless you showed up here again tomorrow,
promptly, at 1:00,
wearing some wretched Hawaiian t-shirt.
Look, you know that that's not true, right?
I mean, just because a girl
has a less than perfect relationship with her father,
it doesn't mean that she won't be able to sustain
a more meaningful relationship in--
Hel--hello?
Hello?
She hung up on me.
My first real nonhypothetical caller,
and she hung up on me.
Somebody probably walked in the room.
You know, a roommate or something. She got embarrassed and hung up.
No, you're just trying to make me feel better.
No, you were doing fine.
Why did this have to be boy trouble?
Why couldn't it have been a nice eating disorder
or a homesick freshman in need of a good old ego boost?
You gonna answer that? No.
She was talking to you.
She's probably gonna wanna be talking to you again.
No, I--I don't wanna answer it.
I'm just gonna mess it up again. Y-Y-You do it.
Are you sure? Yes. Just answer it.
Help line. This is C.J.
No, she had to step away for a second.
Yeah, she's, uh-- she's a little high-strung.
Oh, let's give her a break, though.
It's her first day.
Yeah, yeah. It is hard to talk when other people are in the room.
Why don't you call me back in 10 minutes when they're gone?
Yeah, I'll be here.
All right. Promise me you'll call me back.
Ok. Bye.
What?
Nothing.
Hello? Every third store we're passing sells liquor.
Shouldn't this indicate to you that we're not in such a great part of town?
Yeah, well, you wanted to walk on the wild side,
so since your dad is in class until 6:00...
We're here.
Where are we, anyway?
Nowhere, ok?
I just have to do something.
"Eddie Doling, 3-A"?
I thought you said you didn't know where he was.
I don't.
I know where he lives.
I just don't know where he is.
Well, perhaps you've heard of this invention:
The telephone?
It's a helpful stalking tool.
Yeah, I tried that already, Harley, thank you,
but when a girl leaves a whole slew
of unreturned voice mail messages
for someone she thought was her boyfriend, and then--
Boyfriend? Uh-oh. That means one thing.
You slept with him, didn't you?
What did you just say?
I asked if you slept with the boy.
You know, had sex? Gone all the way?
I thought that's what you said.
Yeah, so, what's the problem?
Nothing. I guess I...
I had forgotten what a sophisticated woman of the world you are.
Harley, you're probably not even a virgin,
probably lost it years ago to a trucker named bubba, right?
I don't get it.
You're not supposed to.
Look, go. I'm not in the mood for this.
So what?
Just because I'm 15,
I'm not even allowed to talk about sex?
No, you can talk about it,
and then when you're 19, you can have the unadulterated joy
of looking back and realizing what an idiot you sounded like.
Oh, right, because you're so smart now.
You must know exactly what you're doing.
That's why you came all this way to stalk someone
who hasn't called you back since you decided to sleep with him.
What? What's the big deal?
We're in the wrong apartment, right?
Joey?
I mean, this obviously isn't it, right?
You got the numbers switched or something.
Joey?
I must say, your idea of casual Friday
leaves a little to be desired, Witter.
Do you think we could discuss your fashion dos and and don'ts
some other time?
Like, say, after lunch?
Lunch. Think again, my friend.
What's all that?
Extra work...
Or, I'm sorry, did you think your little mini-vacation
would have no consequences?
I told you I was sick.
Yeah, well, I don't get sick myself,
and you know what kills me about people who do?
What's what?
How they never seem to realize that them being sick
doesn't decrease the quantity of work around here.
It just means someone else has to do it.
Doesn't seem very fair to your colleagues, does it, now?
I can tell you're all broken up about that, Rich,
but perhaps what you're really upset about
is that they just don't open up as many new accounts as I do.
Getting a little unnecessarily cocky here, aren't we?
Cocky, yes, unnecessary, no,
because all of us here know that the amount of money you make
is directly proportional to the amount of money we make.
Yeah, well, that may be true,
but my attitude isn't the problem.
Yours is, and I expect to see a change in it soon, very soon.
Here. Maybe this will help. Thanks.
I love January,
'cause that's when this comes.
What, my paycheck?
Thanks. Not your paycheck, Witter, your w-2.
I'm not exactly sure what's in there,
but I'm guessing it's more than they pay fry cooks.
Like you would have any idea.
Hey, anytime you want to quit and go back to the easy life,
be my guest,
but as long as you work here,
the only lunches you're going to be going to
are the ones you cater...
In your mind.
So this is what it's like when you're actually working, huh?
This is it.
I thought the phones would ring a little more.
Well, it doesn't really work like that.
I mean, think about it.
Think about how stubborn people are,
how hard it is for them to ask for help
or actually admit they're wrong about something.
Yeah, you're probably right.
Listen, C.J.--
It's almost 4:00. Caffeine fix?
You're asking me if I want coffee?
Yeah. I'm just gonna go out to the cart.
Oh, no, no. No, you're not leaving me here alone.
Yeah, I am.
No, you're not, because if you leave,
then the phone'll most certainly ring,
and it'll be someone on the other end who wants to talk to somebody and--
Yeah. That's what you're here for.
Yeah, except you know what you're doing, and I don't,
which is why you shouldn't go.
You know, a few days ago,
you couldn't stand being in the same room with me,
and now you don't want me to leave.
That was a week ago. Can't a person change in a week?
I don't know. Can she?
Sure you don't want anything? No?
Ok, I'll be right back.
Kierkegaard.
Hello, help line.
Well, um, if we're being completely honest,
which I hope we are,
I-I-I'm not entirely sure if I can help you,
but, uh-- but I-I'd like to try,
so...
So, you gonna tell me, or what?
Nothing to tell.
Ha ha ha! Cool!
Let me, uh-- let me ask you something.
Yeah?
You know all that stuff that we talked about yesterday,
did that fundamentally alter your opinion of me in any way?
Yeah, right.
Like I couldn't tell from a mile away
that you were gonna end up being way sluttier than me.
What?
Come on, Jack. Give me a little credit.
I mean, look at you.
You're ridiculously good-looking.
I mean, you're no Viggo--
Yeah, ok, that--that-- that's great. Let's go.
What, we're leaving?
Well, yeah.
You don't honestly think I'm gonna stand here
and have this conversation with you?
I'm sorry, but I sorta think--
Hey, hey, hey, David... Yeah?
Shut up.
Yeah, I think I could do that.
One of Barthelme’s central tenets, of course,
was his belief that only by juxtaposing disjointed,
quite often at times, absurd fragments of time
could one truly replicate the emotional tenor of real life.
Can someone give me an example?
Joey?
Ok, pick a story, any story.
Wait, I'll pick one for you.
Uh, The School. How about that? Ring any bells?
Uh, yes.
What's it about?
It's about a teacher
who's trying to explain something to his students.
What's he trying to explain?
Death and loss.
Why is he trying to explain it?
Because it keeps happening to them over and over again,
like this endless cycle.
First, the orange trees, then the herb garden, then the tropical fish.
You know, it's absurd, really, because...
One minute, they're there. The next minute...
They're gone, and the thing that's true, the part of it that's true,
the part of it that's real,
is that no one ever does explain it to him because...
No one can.
That's great, Joey.
Of course, you forgot all about the snakes and the puppies,
but, oh, look, we're out of time for today.
Monday, everyone, Saul bellow.
Got a second, Potter?
What's this?
This is 50 bucks.
Ok, look, I know you're poor,
but don't tell me you're so poor
you've never seen 50 bucks before.
I don't get it.
For taking care of Harley while I was teaching yesterday.
She said that you helped her out with something,
said she was having some kind of a crisis.
She was having a crisis?
Yes, look, just take the money, will you?
It'd be a whole lot easier for me than trying to be nice to you
for the rest of the frickin' semester.
Wait a second. Why would you be nice to me? Why?
Because as you pointed out the other day,
this really isn't about me.
Her mother's gone, and her father...
Is a gigantic scuzzbucket?
Yes, he is, actually...
Most days, anyway, according to her.
You, on the other hand, she seems to like.
Yeah, well, I'm very likable,
but likable and poor.
$50, 3 times a week.
65, and I'll help the little angel with her homework,
not that she'd want help from a "D" student.
Deal.
Here.
What's that?
50 bucks. No charge for yesterday.
Uh, look, don't do me any favors, Potter.
I'm not. You wouldn't understand, ok?
Was it a girl thing or something?
No, it's a human-being thing.
So you found me then, did ya?
Called the surf report.
There were only so many beaches you could possibly be at.
I can see I'm gonna have to get one of those
little Men in Black dealies,
deprogram you now that our long association is over.
It's too dangerous, isn't it?
Having that much information floatin' around out there,
everybody just waiting to be used against ya?
I came by to apologize.
For what? For stealin' me job?
Look, after you told 'em no yesterday,
like the bloody idiot that you are,
they called me.
They even apologized,
as much as they're capable of.
So what's next? We do reshoots here? We go back to Boston? What?
I'm sorry, mate. You misunderstood me.
We're not doing anything.
You are.
Wait a minute. I've been through this before. I'm not gonna--
Not gonna what?
Not gonna benefit from being at the right place
at the right time?
That's all it is, you know.
Doesn't mean you're actually going places
or that you're more talented than I am, you know. I mean--
God, no. You're like...
Barely functional, but you're...
Like my mentor.
What, not Steven bloody Spielberg?
Well, he...
Hasn't been returning my phone calls.
Just don't make it any worse, ok?
And listen, the absolute first thing
you have to remember to do when you're on set
is take a picture of Natasha's face
at the exact moment that she's introduced to her new director...
'Cause that's something I bloody well have to see.
Come in.