Previously on Dawson's Creek
Could you direct the reshoots of this movie?
Wait a minute, wait. Hold on a sec. This is insane.
This is not what I wanted to have happen.
Well, guess what? It did.
Hi, I'm Pacey Witter.
Well, so you're Pacey Witter.
What, you've heard of me?
Let's just say that your reputation precedes you.
You think I'm amazing?
Pretty much, yeah.
I could call you or you could call me,
and we could just-- - like you ever needed an excuse.
I should go.
That place was so nice, Pace.
They had individual towels in the bathroom.
Really?
Laid out in baskets and everything? Mm-hmm.
Well, if that's not the hallmark of a classy joint,
I don't know what is.
Well, you do definitely know
how to treat a lady.
Well, I gotta spend my money on somethin'.
Oh, that came out totally wrong.
Because you are not--
n-not something that I just spend money on.
It's not like a possession-- but I would.
I would, and I do.
Well, why do you think I'm with you?
Ok.
How's work goin', Pace?
Uh, it's going really well, thank you.
I got a promotion, actually.
Really? To what?
I...don't know.
There's no title, but I get an office,
and, uh, I get a secretary. That's kind of cool.
Ooh! Yeah.
Fancy.
You certainly won't want to talk to me after tonight, so...
You see, I knew you would understand.
Don't kick a girl when she's down.
You know, I'm strapped for cash,
and they cut my hours because everyone's on spring break,
drinking elsewhere.
I guess that means you're free for dinner next Saturday.
Well, anything for a free meal.
Classy lady like you, I might even throw in a free dessert.
You must be serious about me.
Ok, well...
I think that's my cue.
I'm just gonna... Ok.
Cut my losses.
Um...
I'll have my secretary call you about dinner.
Pacey, I had a lovely time.
So did I.
Good night.
Mornin', sunshine.
Mmm...
Where's Grams?
She's downstairs, stirring porridge.
Mmm. Really?
Shall we, then?
Shall we what?
Oh.
Shall we that.
Yeah, that.
Yeah. Nah.
No?
No.
I'm not really in the mood.
Mood? Who needs mood?
What?
Nothing a little toothpaste won't fix.
Oh.
Well, fine. Then don't kiss me. See if I care.
Not so sexy when you're pouting.
Do you know how many of these were in here when I bought them?
12. Mm-hmm.
Know how many are in here now?
12.
We haven't had sex in a week, Jen.
That's hardly true.
Not since Grams went to bingo. That was a week ago today.
What am I, sex on a stick?
I'm not a boy. I don't have...
The same kind of sex drive that you do,
all right?
Not to mention the fact that I--
I live in mortal terror
of my Grams walking in on us
in the middle of some ungodly act.
So maybe that helps you to understand
why I'm not jumping your bones every chance I get.
Hmm. Wow. Then it's true what they say.
What?
Once you start dating,
the sex goes right out the window.
You are such a drama queen.
You know, there are other ways for us to be intimate.
I'm all for that stuff.
Yeah? So am I.
Well, come on.
Hmm.
Is this what you were talking about--snuggling?
Mmm. Yeah.
What did you think I was talking about?
Nothing.
Jo.
Ohh!
Hi!
To what do I owe this honor?
I--I brought you an office-warming gift.
You won't get in trouble for having visitors, will you?
No, no. Not if you stop distracting the boys.
You want to step into my office?
How professional.
So, everyone's just on the phone.
Is this what you do all day?
It's a little more complicated than that.
Let me grab those. Thanks, Tom.
So, what makes you so busy now
that you need an assistant?
I don't know,
but to tell you the truth, she kind of freaks me out.
Marcy?
Hi.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend Jo.
Nice to meet you.
F.Y.I. For you, Mr. Witter,
the meeting's been pushed to 3:00,
and Mr. Rinaldi's in your office.
And when you have a moment, I'd like a word.
A word?
Don't patronize me, Mr. Witter.
I'm sorry, ma'am. I--
You can talk now if you like.
Fine, Mr. Witter. If you must know,
Mr. Rinaldi fired me,
and I'll be leaving at the end of the day.
Just breakin' it in for you.
Oh, who's the looker?
You do realize
that I'm standing right here?
And you do realize that was a compliment, right?
Rich,
this is Joey.
Joey, you remember Rich.
And, Rich, why is it, exactly, you fired my secretary?
Well, uh, she tried to kick me out of your office.
Well, doesn't that deserve a raise?
Yeah, well, I didn't like her attitude, Witter,
or the cut of her jib, for that matter.
You can just fire somebody
because you don't like the way they look?
Isn't that discrimination?
Is she human resources?
No. No, no. She's my, uh...
Friend of mine.
Oh.
So, uh, why aren't you in school today?
I'm on spring break.
What do you do 9 to 5, Johnny?
Joey.
Nothing at the moment. Um...
I say you spend the next 2 weeks filling in here.
You know how to play office, right?
Why don't you set that up, Witter.
Hmm.
He's kidding, right?
Rich? No, he doesn't really have much of a sense of humor.
Well, how much does it pay?
I don't know. I think it's, like, 600 bucks a week.
Are you serious?
Would you actually want to do it?
Well, you have to admit, Pace,
I mean, it is perfect timing.
I'm broke.
We never see each other anymore.
Yeah, but hangin' out by the coffee machine
is not exactly a date, now, is it?
Who's kidding who, Pace?
Now, we both know that the boss
doesn't hang out by the coffee machine.
That would be the assistant's job.
And you're sure you'd be comfortable
with the whole -boss/ -secretary power relationship?
We both know who's boss here.
Well, ok, yeah. I mean,
what's the worst that could happen, right?
Barring me taking over the company, nothing.
How fun is this gonna be!
It's about a lot of things,
but more than anything,
it's about what it feels like to be 15...
That time in your life when everything's new
and you're constantly on the edge of a broken heart.
I mean, it should be stylized and operatic and...
And...
I'd like to direct it.
Whoa, junior.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Walk before you run.
Ok.
What do you think?
I like it.
I do.
And I think your passion for it is great.
It's just...
What?
It's a little soft.
And in case you haven't noticed,
we don't really do soft around here.
We do exploitation.
Larry learned everything he knows from Roger Corman.
You could pitch him Citizen Kane,
and unless there's a minimum of 3 nude scenes,
he'd give you a look like he just smelled a fart.
Ok. That's all well and good,
but I'm not sure I know how to make that movie.
My advice to you...
Is to play up the sex.
He'll understand that.
What makes this pitch so interesting and unique
is the fact that it's this epic love story
without the sex.
I'll let you in on a little secret.
Larry Newman is the horniest man alive,
a world-class pervert.
He's on his third wife.
She's 23...
And done a lot of work in the valley,
if you know what I mean.
Which doesn't seem to stop him
from coveting my rack, mind you.
I'm so sorry.
That must be terrible to work in an environment like that.
Please.
You've been staring at the twins for the past 20 minutes.
I...
Not that I mind, of course.
They are fantastic
and worth every penny.
What's my point?
I don't know.
My point is...
If you want to make a movie with us,
find a way to tell your story
while still appealing to the lowest common denominator.
Pitch Larry the same thing you pitched me,
only throw in... A stripper, a 3-way,
or like an affair with a teacher or something.
I can do that.
Help line. This is Jen speaking.
Are you sure that that's actually a problem?
Because speaking as a girl
whose boyfriend wants to copulate
every waking moment of the day,
I would actually welcome the break.
I mean, I appreciate the enthusiasm.
It's just it's--it's a little exhausting.
This position, that position,
"You want my legs where?"
I mean, I can't even wear a skirt anymore
without him taking it as an invitation to hike it up.
Hey, Witter, nicely done.
Nicely done, indeed.
What are you talkin' about?
The new hire.
Oh. Joey.
Hey, Joe.
Oh. Morning, Pace.
Morning.
Excuse me.
Are these guys botherin' you?
No. They may be trying to,
but I can't exactly tell.
Did any of you go to college?
We're just showin' her the ropes, Pacey.
Are you comfortable, Joey?
I mean, this seems a little high.
Oh. Oh, whoa.
That's...super. Thank you.
Well, great. I'm glad we got that all fixed up.
But seeing as this is my secretary,
why don't you guys go back to your-- - Ahem!
Office temp-- it's not important right now.
What's important--
she's not gonna be here long,
so don't get too attached.
Bye-bye.
Neander-creeps.
Sorry about that.
What is this?
Oh. Well, that's your office-warming gift.
You forgot to open it yesterday.
I thought since now you're a true professional
and you have an office of your own,
that you deserve pointless gadgets to stick on your desk.
Well, thank you, Miss Potter.
That's very thoughtful of you.
Well, I am the best assistant ever.
Of course you are.
You know, uh, when I got here this morning,
you forgot to make the coffee,
and I like to start the morning with a cup. Oh.
Oh, right. Well, you were a chef, right?
I mean, you can make it yourself.
Sure. Yeah.
Could you run this down to Tom, please?
Sure.
Are you sure you need to find a replacement?
She's got another job, and she's in school,
and most importantly,
she's unavailable, Rich.
All right. Ok.
Tell you the truth, the whole thing's
becoming a bit of a debacle. I got here this morning,
the guys were all over her desk.
Like that's not gonna happen with anything remotely female.
And she's also my friend.
Which makes it a little awkward
when I'm tryin' to tell her what to do.
You got to get yourself together, man.
There's a reporter coming in to talk to us later,
and I don't want you to be snotting all over your tie
because you haven't had
a nonfat cafe mocha latte grande whatever.
A reporter for who?
I don't know. Some chick from the financial section
to discuss our little up-and-coming company here.
See how the big boys play and whatnot.
Cool.
Yeah, it's swell.
So you better straighten up, 'cause it seems like
this broad is interested in you in particular--
rising to the top in record time or something.
Really?
She wants to talk to me, huh?
Seriously, it's the financial section.
Who reads that?
So, she wants to talk to you?
Were you eavesdropping?
Well, yes. I'm your assistant.
It's my job. It's what I do.
Mm-hmm.
Hey.
Did you get me one?
I didn't know you wanted one.
Way to be a boyfriend.
Yeah, right.
Good one, Jen.
So, I still don't know what C.J. stands for,
but maybe the "C" stands for "crabby"?
What's the matter?
Nothing.
That's it?
I don't like you using our problems in the bedroom
to help other people.
Oh, well, first of all,
I wasn't aware that we had problems in the bedroom.
And...second of all,
why not?
Forget it.
What, is this about sex?
Pretty much, yeah.
Ok.
But you know, if some girl called up
and said that her boyfriend
was pressuring her into having sex,
you would slip on your very best Dr. Drew,
and you would tell her not to stand for it.
Look, if what you told me about your past is true,
then I'm guessin' what I don't understand
is why the creeps and the scumbags who treated you so poorly
got the benefit of your sex drive.
Whereas guys like me who actually treat you fairly well...
We get ridiculed for wanting to have sex with you.
Wow. Kudos to you, C.J.
That is the nicest way that anybody's ever called me a slut.
What are you talkin' about?
Basically, what you're saying is
if I can be a slut for other guys,
why can't I be a slut for you?
That's not what I mean.
Please tell me you're gonna kick ass in there.
I'm relatively certain I won't throw up,
but beyond that, I can't promise anything.
Fabulous.
Dawson Leery!
Ha! How the hell's my favorite young director?
It's good to see you, kid. Good to see ya.
You, too, Mr. Newman.
Ah, Mr. Newman was my father,
and that bastard's long gone.
You just call me Larry.
Have a seat, please.
Ok.
Larry.
Ok.
Ohh!
Peter.
Yes, Larry?
My ass hurts.
Why does my ass hurt?
I'm sorry, Larry. I, uh, I...forgot.
Actions, Peter, actions. Not excuses.
Whew!
Ahh!
It's my prostate.
Damn thing's as big as a cured ham.
Gettin' old, boy. Whoo!
It's just a series of indignities.
You'll find out.
Ok. So, what are we doin' here?
Uh, well--
Ohh! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I can't believe I almost forgot this.
You are my hero, kid.
Thank you... Larry.
That--I, uh-- that means a lot.
The re-shoots were tough, but, uh,
ultimately I was pretty happy with how they turned out.
I gotta say, by the end of it,
I actually felt like a real director.
Right.
Uh, no, the re-shoots were fine.
What I'm talkin' about is Natasha.
She was great, wasn't she?
I was very happy with the performance that I got out of her.
Uh, her performance was mediocre at best.
What I'm talkin' about here is the fact
that you managed to get yourself into her knickers?
Heather tells me everything.
See, here's my thing with directors.
I can tell any schmuck where to put the camera,
how to say "action," blah, blah, blah, blah.
But when a freakin' P.A. figures out how to bang the leadin' lady,
buddy, that is somebody
I want to be in business with.
And that's you, big fella. Ha ha ha ha!
Hee hee hee hee!
Whoo! Yeah!
Ok, Dawson...
Tell me a story.
Ok. So, we open in a teenager's bedroom,
walls plastered with movie posters. Now, wait.
This isn't one of those movies about makin' movies, is it?
No. Not at all.
Not really.
Well, either it is or it isn't.
Well-- - All right. Never mind.
Go ahead.
Ok. So, on the bed-- boy and a girl.
Both 15. They've been best friends
for as long as they can remember.
Are they, you know--
No. Huh?
Uh, not yet.
I got ya.
Let the audience get a little wet first.
I like this. This is good.
Yeah.
So, uh, they're in the bedroom,
and they're talking about movies.
Wait a minute. I gotta ask you somethin' here.
Uh, is this a horror movie?
No, not at all.
This is a coming-of-age story.
Actually, Larry,
it's a teen sex comedy...with heart.
American Pie meets Stand by Me.
But it's got sex, right?
Sure. Yeah.
Good. See, this is interesting.
Friends will come and friends will go,
but I say...
There's always room for a movie
in which teenage girls take their clothes off.
All right, let's cut to the chase, pally.
My ass is on fire here.
Hmm-unh!
Um, ok.
Here--here's the part of the story
that I think you'll find the most interesting.
Our main character thinks of himself as one of the good guys.
He's always tryin' to do the right thing,
and it always gets in the way when it comes to girls.
Um, so it's--it's really interesting
to watch him go through this moral dilemma
when he meets this girl at school that he really likes,
but it turns out that she's...
A...stripper.
Stripper?
Yeah, student by day, stripper at night.
See, I've--I've seen this probably 100 times,
but I'll be damned if I wouldn't stay up till 3 A.M.
To watch it on Skinemax.
And you cast one of those
hot little past-her-prime starlets
who's willing to show off her new boob job,
you got yourself a mini-blockbuster on your hands.
This is good.
This is real good.
I like this.
You got yourself a deal.
It's the best pitch I've heard in, uh...
A long time.
Well, you guys want to hear the rest of it?
I mean, that's just a very small part of it.
Let me give you a little advice, pally.
When somebody tells you you got yourself a deal,
you zip it.
You know, you nod, you smile,
and you look grateful.
You do not say another word.
Another word can only do you harm.
You know what I'm sayin'?
Absolutely.
Outstanding! Ok.
Listen, we'll figure out the beats after lunch.
In the meantime...
Tell me a little more about Natasha.
Huh? Boom.
Whoo!
I hear what you're saying, Walter.
I'm just not willing to push it that hard.
Look, I just don't have the numbers, ok?
Well, when?
Ok, hold on a second. Let me ask my secretary.
Hey, Jo--
Are you looking for this, Mr. Witter?
Yes, as a matter of fact. When did this come in?
Um, well, I didn't want to inundate you with information.
Good thinking.
Ok, Walter, I got it right in front of me. Shoot.
Walter?
Oh, I pressed a button when I came in here. I thought it was hold.
That's ok. That's fine.
We can just get him on the line again.
Ha ha.
You know, Jo, you're such a smart girl,
I honestly thought this was gonna be a little easier for you.
Well, I kind of made it a point not to learn secretarial skills.
You might've wanted to mention that earlier.
Well, if I’m too good at it,
then no one will ever let me do what I really want to do.
I find that very hard to believe, Miss Potter.
Hi.
What are you doing here?
Well, your secretary wasn't at her desk,
so I hope it's ok--
That's fine. She's, uh, that's-- she's there.
Oh. Ok, well, here.
You wouldn't mind hangin' this up for me, would you?
Do you have an appointment, Miss?
Why, yes. As a matter of fact, I do.
Uh, this is Sadia Shaw, Pace,
the reporter I was tellin' you about.
Of course.
Pleased to meet you again.
So, I guess the rumors I've been hearing are true, Pacey.
You're certainly moving up in the world.
So you guys know each other?
Not entirely,
but I guess that's what the interview's for.
I guess so.
Hey, is there anything we can get you
to make you more comfortable?
Jo, would you mind grabbin' us a pot of coffee?
Sure, Mr. Witter.
I will get right on that.
I will just whip up a batch.
Thank you.
Yeah, thank you.
Why don't you step in,
make yourself more comfortable.
And cut!
Gentlemen, Satan himself would be proud!
All right, let's take a break.
You have no idea how...
Yeah, yeah.
What the hell are you doin' here?
Moral quandary. You got a minute?
Bollocks, Leery.
You're like some bloody little angel
that pops his head up over my shoulder
every time I'm about to engage in meaningless sex
with a comely extra.
You are a bloody moral quandary.
Excuse me. I'm in the band, Todd.
My apologies, love.
Can you ever forgive me?
Sure this can't wait
5 minutes? Gee, what a treat.
So, Rich...
Would you say that Pacey's arrival
and your rise in profitability
had a direct correlation?
Well, let's not get crazy here.
We all know how unpredictable the market is.
It just so happens we also started to push
a new stock around that time,
and it did very well for us.
And that would be Stepatech.
Yes, and as a matter of fact,
I was the first person who went out with Stepatech.
Yeah, that's correct. Pacey was the first.
- Excuse me, Pace. - Uh, Jack's on one.
That's ok.
You can hold all my calls. Thanks.
Even from your roomie?
Yes, even my roommate.
Oh, ok. My bad.
Carry on.
I apologize for that. It's her first day.
I understand.
This must be quite a coup for you, Pacey,
having an assistant.
I heard that until recently you were a cook.
Yeah, actually. I did dabble
for a while in the food service industry,
but I'm quite--
Ahem. The button's stick on those sometimes.
I apologize.
Where was I?
I wish I could remember. I was riveted.
Fresh coffee?
Great. You can just put it on the desk.
Pacey takes tons of sugar in his coffee.
Otherwise, he can't drink it.
You know, he puts sugar in his fruity pebbles.
Can you believe it?
Ah, ha!
All right. Thanks for your help, Miss Potter.
That'll be all.
And how do you take yours?
Uh, just a splash of cream--
nonfat, if you have it, please.
Thank you.
Of course.
Oh, god!
Oh, my god. Sorry, sorry. Ohh!
You know what? I can get it.
I'm so sorry.
I got it.
Witter, uh, why don't we...
Continue this interview in my office?
I'm sure you'll be more comfortable there.
It's much bigger.
It was an accident.
Really! An accident.
Now, why do I find that so hard to believe?
You better get goin'.
You don't want to miss your 15 minutes of fame.
I don't understand what you're so torn up about, mate.
A job is a job.
Work begets work.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah. I just...
Have a really hard time
doing something that I don't believe in.
I learned so much workin' for you in the re-shoots and everything,
but I lost a chunk of my soul in the process.
You're such a bloody drama queen, Leery.
The trick is to keep workin'
so one day you get to a point
where you can write your own ticket.
But what if by the time you get there,
you don't know who the hell you are anymore?
You ask yourself what kind of filmmaker you want to be.
Me, I'm a journeyman.
I go where the jobs are.
Ahh, maybe I'm just not cut out for any of this.
Oh, I see.
So this is that bit where I give you a bit of a lift, is it?
No.
'Cause I'm not gonna do it...
Even if you are a talented little bugger,
even if you are light-years ahead
of where I was at your age.
All right, all right. That's enough.
What's that?
Go make a movie.
With 10 bucks?
It's a start.
Look, if you're not willing to do it their way,
with their money,
then don't cash the check. Write your own.
Sometimes, with a little bit of money
and a lot of faith,
you can almost will an entire movie into existence.
That's what I did.
How'd it turn out?
It was rubbish...
But it got me here.
Here I am, doing the devil's work
in sunny Los Angeles.
Listen, mate,
I know no matter what you do...
You're gonna do it with heart
and balls and swagger.
And that is all that matters in this world.
Remember that.
Go on, get outta here.
Go change a diaper or somethin'.
Well, what was that earlier?
How do you know that woman?
The reporter?
I've met her once... At a function.
Months ago.
I didn't even know her name.
Why does that not shock me?
We were never formally introduced.
I mean, would it have killed you
to have acted professionally today?
Come on, Pacey.
You guys are pigs.
I mean, according to caveman standards,
I'm not the professional type.
And what type is that?
The type that can pour a cup of coffee
without painting it all over the walls?
Because you're not that type.
That's all an assistant is to you, isn't it?
Just some chick who pours coffee.
I didn't realize that you wanted to be a career assistant.
Why do you think Rich fired Marcy?
'Cause she's over 30.
Have you ever even noticed the assistants here?
I feel like there's no good way to answer that question.
They look like the Maxim girls of the office out there.
I guess I'd never noticed.
Because when I come here, it's to do my job.
Which I was actually pretty good at
until you came here and sabotaged me.
Get real, Pacey.
All I'm asking for is a little respect,
a little human kindness.
But you see, that's the whole point.
I don't have to respect you or be kind to you.
You're my secretary.
Oh, that's the whole point?
You regressed-- - Woman!
You are wrecking my head.
Could you not just accept the temporary and come with a smile
and maybe a little grace?
No. Not if this is how you plan on treating your future assistants.
Frankly, Pacey,
I'm beginning to understand the nickname.
What nickname?
They call you witless.
Who calls me witless?
I think that would be unprofessional of me
to disclose such information.
Where was that professionalism
when you were pouring cream down the reporter's leg?
Oh, please.
Don't say "reporter"
like you haven't burned that girl's name into your memory.
You know, I don't think this is the proper arena to vent your jealousy.
Jealous?!
Hardly. Ok, yeah.
I might've had some sort of psychotic lapse,
but that was odd, really, because...
Why would I be jealous?
I don't know.
It's not like you'd ever be attracted
to the shrewd business type, right?
Well, what does it matter?
'Cause you're not jealous. Right?
You know what? I'd like to issue an apology.
Take a letter, would you?
You're gonna need a pen and paper.
Dear...Miss...Shaw...
It was...wonderful...
To see you this afternoon.
No, no. Go back.
It was lovely to see you again.
However, I would like to take this opportunity
to apologize for my secretary's behavior.
Because, you see, she's new...
And very bad.
I missed the last part.
It was something moronic followed by something inane.
I'm, uh, headed out, Witter.
Jeez, man.
At least I waited a week with mine.
Pigs.
We're all pigs.
Mm-hmm.
Whatever is the matter with you two?
C.J. thinks I'm a slut.
I do not.
Why would you think such a thing, Jennifer?
Because he pretty much said so.
No, I didn't.
Well, C.J., why do you think Jennifer feels this way?
Well, she seemed to like having sex
right up until the moment she started having sex with me.
That's not true.
I see the problem here.
You do? Mmm.
C.J., Jennifer is attempting
for the very first time in her young life
to have a full, well-rounded relationship with a boy.
And, Jennifer,
C.J.'s problem is that he, like
any young man of pure heart and good intention,
is worried
that you will always be more attracted
to the rakes of this world.
Well, you can tell C.J.
That nice pecs and a good 6-pack only go so far.
And you can tell Jennifer that what she just said
didn't make me feel the slightest bit better.
I have nice pecs.
Jennifer?
You can tell C.J.
That the best sex that I've ever had in my life
has been with him.
That'll do.
You can tell Jen that...
I'm sorry if I made her feel bad...
And...that I was never insinuating
that she'd be of questionable morality.
And that I will snuggle with her
anytime she wants.
Well. I think my work is done here.
I have peace to broker elsewhere in Beantown.
I'm so sorry.
No. No. I'm sorry.
But I'm not sorry about wantin' to have sex with you.
I mean, that's just how it is.
That's how it's always gonna be.
You promise?
Oh, I promise.
Ooh.
I think I'm in the mood.
In the mood for what?
No, it just passed. No.
N--I--uh... I'm just kiddin'.
Shall we, then?
Well, I think we're in pretty good shape here.
Just make sure...
That the fire
at the strip club is spectacular. I mean--
Whoosh! All right?
Now, have you, uh... Thought about a title, Dawson?
A ti--uh, no.
I haven't, actually.
I got one for you.
Sunset Stripped.
What do you think?
I...um...
Think it's very clever.
Economical...
Yeah, works well.
Uh, you know, bein' that her--her name is sunset.
And I think it'll help with the foreign, too.
Which reminds me--
a minimum of 3 nude scenes, please?
That's not including the scenes in the strip bar.
I want this picture to be wall-to-wall boobs.
Ok?
This is gonna be a very good picture.
My friends, thank you. That's it. Congrats
on a great meeting.
Attagirl.
Very good. Good work.
Let's go. Nice goin', everybody.
You know what? Um, excuse me. I'm sorry.
Well, what is it? Out with it.
I came in here the other day
because I wanted to tell a story
about... Something small, something personal,
something I've been... Tryin' to figure out for quite some time.
I wanted to write about growing up...
And why it's so hard. And...
I wanted to write about falling in love
and why it can't last, but at the same time, how it lasts forever.
And somehow, that got twisted into a story
about a stripper.
I--I guess what I'm tryin' to say is,
I can't do this.
I appreciate the--the offer
and the confidence... But...
I just wouldn't feel right taking your money.
Are you absolutely sure about this?
Yeah. Yeah, I am.
All right, put together a directors list.
I want to get somebody on this by the end of the week.
Nice knowin' you, kid. The best of luck to you, huh?
All right.
Here. Got somebody here in mind.
This is somebody we could call.
Hey, Mr. Witter. What can I get you?
Oh, nothing, actually. I'm kinda partial to this jacket.
Not the best of first days, I'll admit.
No.
But I’m of the opinion
that some worlds should never collide.
Plus, how are you ever gonna take me seriously--
I got it-- now that you know
the guys call me witless?
Yeah, and my whole jealousy act
really didn't showcase my best features.
Actually, you know, I kinda liked that part.
You were just hoping she and I would wrestle.
What kind of man do you take me for?
I guess I’m just not used to office combat.
I'm more of a drunk wrangler.
That's good news, actually, because I wanted to tell you,
don't quit your night job.
What do you mean?
Well, I mean that under no circumstances
do I ever want to see you in my place of work again,
regardless of how hot you look in pinstripes.
You're firing me?
Y-Yeah, but, I mean, c-can you think of any better solution?
Is this because of the whole coffee thing, Pacey?
Because I can make coffee.
And I can serve it and everything.
I'm nothing if not a professional server.
It's not about the coffee thing.
Ok?
Then what's it about?
Jo, how can you expect me to concentrate if you're around all day?
Am I really that much of a distraction, Pacey?
I mean, my desk is outside of your office. You can't even see me.
But I know you're there. And I would not have come as far as I have
if you were 5 feet away from me all the time.
I just wouldn't. Trust me.
Really?
And why is that?
Ok, now you're just milkin' this
for all it's worth, aren't you?
Fine.
I wouldn't have been able to concentrate
because every time you're 5 feet away from me
or 25 feet away from me, for that matter...
There's really only one thing that I want to do.
Do tell.
I'm sorry, Mr. Witter. I don't think I can work for you anymore.
Fine. Just remember that I fired you.
No, no. I quit.
You have to let me keep my dignity.
Ok, but if I fire you,
then you get severance pay.
Oh.
Well, just remember, you'll never find another girl like me.
I prefer to think of my secretaries as women, but ok.
Well, enough of that. I think we can both agree
that this wasn't the best idea.
No doubt.
My current thinking is that relationships
make terrible platforms for multi-tasking.
Pity, that. I was looking forward
to seeing you on a regular basis.
We'll just have to make a point to make more time, then, won't we?
You almost done here?
I just have to close up the register.
Well...that's excellent, 'cause, you know, I was thinking...
I just happen to live right across the street.
I was thinking that, too.
Really. What a coincidence.
I'll be right there.
I'll see you soon.
Hey. You don't think there's any chance
you might be willing to wear that secretary's outfit--
You had your chance.
We'll talk about that later. Excuse me.
Hey.
Eddie.