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[WARNING: These subtitles contain added awesomeness.
If you want the clean captions, please select the English option. Ta-ta~]

2
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NARRATOR: After endless running and detours,
Goku has finally reached the end of Snake Way...

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how very convenient.

4
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GOKU: Oooooo! Oh, wow!

5
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That must be King Kai’s place! [No, just a very large apple]

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Woohooo...

7
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....aaaaaaaieeeeeee--!

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[Thud]
UGH!
[BELLY FLOP!]

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KING KAI [off-screen]: Nice job, jackass!

10
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Jackass: Oowwww...

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[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]

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♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫

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♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫
(With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)

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♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫
(Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)

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♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫

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NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back in the deep reaches of space:

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NAPPA [via radio]: Are we there yet?

18
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NAPPA [via radio]: Are we there yet?
VEGETA [via radio]: No.

19
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NAPPA [via radio, #2]: Are we there yet?
VEGETA [via radio]: No.

20
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NAPPA [via radio, #2]: Are we there yet?
VEGETA [via radio]: No. No.

21
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NAPPA [via radio, #3]: Are we there yet?
VEGETA [via radio]: No. No.

22
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NAPPA [via radio, #3]: Are we there yet?
VEGETA [via radio]: No. No. No!

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NAPPA [via radio, #4]: Are we there yet?
VEGETA [via radio]: No. No. No!

24
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NAPPA [via radio, #4]: Are we there yet?
VEGETA [via radio]: No. No. No! *No*!

25
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NAPPA [via radio, #5]: Are we there yet?
VEGETA [via radio]: No. No. No! *No*!

26
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NAPPA [via radio, #5]: Are we there yet?
VEGETA [via radio]: No. No. No! *No*! *No*!!

27
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NAPPA [via radio]: Hey Vegeta!

28
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VEGETA [via radio]: *WHAAAT*!?!?

29
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NAPPA [via radio]: Can we stop at that bug planet?
[how does he know it's a bug planet]

30
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VEGETA [via radio]: Nappa, if it’ll shut you up for FIVE minutes then FINE!

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VEGETA: See? Look how fun this is...
[Is that a dark Nimbus?]

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{BOOM}

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NAPPA [o-s]: Hey, Vegeta! The locals. [You Ded]

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VEGETA [o-s]: Seems they brought a welcome service.

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NAPPA: You know, Vegeta, on some planets they really appreciate foreign commune.
Really brings in the revenue. They’ll probably treat us like royalty, considering the--

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[Cuffs click] [Cell gate slams]

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VEGETA: Well...

38
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NAPPA: Yeah... [Told ya so]

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ATLA: Ah, I see. You too have been imprisoned by our horrible fascist King.

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[Continues speaking; unintelligible]

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NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta.

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VEGETA: What is it?

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NAPPA: We're in prison, Vegeta.

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VEGETA: I see that, Nappa.

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NAPPA: Hey.

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VEGETA: What?

47
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NAPPA: *Don't drop the soap*. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

48
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VEGETA: I swear to God, Nappa, I will shiv you.
[There's probably a slash fic for that...]

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NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on the Kai planet:

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GOKU: Sooo, you're King Kai.
[Underwhelming much?]

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KING KAI: [Yes, you retarted idiot] That’s right. I am the most superior martial artist in all of the galax--

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GOKU: Ooh, a monkey!

53
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KING KAI [o-s]: Yes, this is my Monkey, Bubbles. Say hello, Bubbles.

54
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BUBBLES: (Monkey sounds)

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KING KAI: Alright, that’s enough, Bubbles.

56
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Anyway, welcome to my planet.

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GOKU: Man... I’m so... heavy here!

58
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KING KAI: Well, because of the small size of my planet,
the gravity here is much more intense than that on Earth.
[that dosn't sound right]

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GREGORY [o-s]: That doesn’t make any sense!

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KING KAI: Shut up, Gregory!

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Alright, fine. How’s this for a reason:

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I have an unbelievably *powerful* space pirate locked up in the depths of my planet.

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That’s why the gravity is so heavy here.

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Space Pirate: Yarr! Get me outta here!

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KING KAI: Shut up, Bojack!

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[Stomping]

67
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Anyway, what are you here for?

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GOKU: Oh! Well, King Kai... I need you to train me.

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There’s a terrible threat coming to our planet, and I’m its only hope.

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I’ll do whatever it takes for you to train me.
[whatever it takes?]

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I’ll withstand any test!
[any test?]

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I will try as hard as I have to!

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And I--

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KING KAI: Sure.

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GOKU: What?

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KING KAI: I'll train you.
[That was easy.]

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GOKU: Se... Seriously?

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I thought I have to do some kind of test!
[King Kai isn't following the rules of anime.]

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KING KAI: Are you kidding me? The only company I’ve had
for the last 500 years have been a disembodied pirate...

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BOJACK: Yarrr!

81
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KING KAI: ...A monkey...

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BUBBLES: (Monkey noises)

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KING KAI: ...And a grasshopper!

84
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A Grasshopper: Actually, I’m a cricket!

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KING KAI: Nobody cares!

86
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You tell ‘im, Bubbles!

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GOKU: Wow, you’re right!

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I can’t imagine anything more boring than that!
[Ohoho, you have no idea...]

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NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on Namek:

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[Birds chirping; flowing water]

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[Soft splash]

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GURU: Naaaaiiillll...

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NAAAAAAAAIIIIILL!

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NAIL: What is it, Lord Guru?

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GURU: I saw a fish.

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That is all. You can go back outside now.

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NAIL: 'Oh God, this is so horribly dull. I hope something
exciting happens around here soon. I don’t care what it is.'
[Be careful what you wish for. You might get it. ;)]

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GURU [o-s]: Naaaaail!!!

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NAIL: *What*?

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GURU [o-s]: I saw a bird.
[He's indoors though...]

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It was pretty.

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Kick its ass.
[Android 16 just got really pissed.]

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NAIL: (Sighs heavily)

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NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Arlia:

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ATLA: As you can see, many questionable people have been locked away in here.

106
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Bubba the Butt Blaster: Welcome to Oz, bitch!
[Does he mean Space Australia?]
(No.)

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That’s right, YOU with the spiky hair!

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You’re going to be my BITCH!

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I’m going to sell you for a cigarette...

110
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but not before I violate you, because you’re my BI--!
[He's used to trading one fag for another]

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Fascist King: I love ruling this planet with an iron fist!

112
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Right, my Quee--?

113
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[Arlia-shattering boom]

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What in the great Arlian moon was that?

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NAPPA: Hi!

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KING MOAI: Who the f*** are you two?

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NAPPA: Hi! I’m Nappa, and that’s Vegeta.

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He was a prison bitch.
[He dropped the soap]

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FORMER PRISON BITCH: Shut the hell up, Nappa.

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NAPPA: ‘K.

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VEGETA: Anyway, we’re here because my partner’s an idiot.

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Now that we’ve got introductions out of the way, I think I’ll just kill you and--

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IDIOT: Hey Vegeta!

124
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VEGETA: Oh God, what now?

125
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NAPPA: I think that’s their Queen! I’m curious how they breed.

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VEGETA: Oh goddammit Nappa, that’s disgusting! I say we just--

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NAPPA: Hey! You guys! Breed for us!

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KING MOAI: Why should we listen to *you*?
You’re surrounded by my thirteen elite--

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[Fingered]

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...dead guards.

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Well, you heard him, honey!
[smart idea]

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NAPPA: They’re not doing anything.
They’re just standing on top of each other, and--

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{CRUNCH}

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AWWWW, THERE WE GO!!!

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[Bug sex noises]
[Om-nom-nom-nom!]

136
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KING MOAI [o-s]: ...oh, snap that thorax...
[Bug sex noises]

137
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[Bug sex noises; shutter clicks]

138
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KING MOAI [o-s]: ...your sexy jowls...
[Bug sex noises]

139
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KING MOAI [o-s]: ...your sexy jowls...
[Bug sex noises; phone vibrates]
[What kind of reception do phones get in space?]

140
00:05:22,820 --> 00:05:24,240
[Bug sex noises; phone vibrates]

141
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[Bug sex noises]

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KING MOAI [o-s]: ...ah, there we go...
[Bug sex noises; key depressed]

143
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VEGETA [o-s; disgusted]: *OH*, God *dammit*, Nappa!
[Bug sex noises]

144
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NAPPA: (° ͜ʖ°)
[Bug sex noises]

145
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NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Earth,
Piccolo has finally begun his training with Gohan.

146
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GOHAN: So, Mr. Piccolo, what are you going to teach me today?
A brand-new technique? How to sense energy?

147
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What about how to fly--?

148
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PICCOLO: Dodge!
[His one weakness!]

149
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{POW} {WHAM}
GOHAN: D'aah-haa!

150
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[Birds chirping]

151
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Gohan: 'Oh, man... this training with Mr. Piccolo is really difficult.'

152
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'But I think I’m finally getting the hang of it--'

153
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PICCOLO: DODGE!

154
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GOHAN: What? WAAAAAAAAAAA...!
[Poor Gohan]

155
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[Wind whistling]

156
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PICCOLO: DOOOOOOODGE!!!!
GOHAN: D'aah-haa!
[and this is where the PTSD sets in]

157
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NARRATOR: Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice:

158
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SUPERMAN: Alright everyone, we have to do something about these Saiyans.

159
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They’re approaching Earth quickly, and I don’t think
we have the strength to take them on alone.
[You can kill them by staring at them really hard!]

160
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Batman, what are your thoughts?

161
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:20,300
BATMAN: Well, I think--

162
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Justice League's Yamcha (Aquaman) [o-s]: I~ have an ideaaaa~!

163
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BATMAN: Oh God, it’s Aquaman...

164
00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:28,360
Justice League's Yamcha (Seaman)  [o-s]: Come on, guys, we could use *whales*!

165
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WHAAAAAAALES!

166
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SUPERMAN: Someone! Get him out of here!

167
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Seaman [o-s]: I’ma whaaaaales...

168
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,460
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Arlia:

169
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KING MOAI: There, I banged my wife.
Will ya leave us in peace?

170
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VEGETA: Actually, no, I’m still going to kill you.

171
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KING MOAI: ...Summon the Rancor!

172
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,500
NAPPA: Vegeta. It’s...

173
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It's...
[Rancor growls]

174
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,120
[Rancor growls]

175
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IT’S SO CUTE!
[secona on that]

176
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Can I keep it? Can I keep it!?

177
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VEGETA: Fine, just catch it or something.

178
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NAPPA: Yaaaay!

179
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Here boy, shake!

180
00:07:01,940 --> 00:07:03,660
Ahhh, got your finger.
[Rancor wails]

181
00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:04,240
[Rancor wails]

182
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,500
Okay. Now boy, catch the ball. Catch the ball! Huagh!

183
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:09,160
{BOOM}
Awwww...!

184
00:07:09,260 --> 00:07:11,260
Aw, I broke-ded it, Vegeta.

185
00:07:11,580 --> 00:07:14,600
It must’ve been made of something weak, like paper maché...

186
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...or Raditz!
[KEK]

187
00:07:16,780 --> 00:07:18,660
[Audio degraded due to copyright nonsense]
KING MOAI: Please! I’ll do anything you want!

188
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We’ll give you riches! Women! (bug women?)

189
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,220
Wait, what are you doing?

190
00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:24,060
VEGETA: I’m about to rock you...

191
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like a hurricane.

192
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KING MOAI: I~ love that so--!
[me too]

193
00:07:27,860 --> 00:07:29,060
AAUGHWRRGH!
[never mind]

194
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VEGETA: Ha! Did you see that, Nappa? That was *totally* bada--!

195
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,200
W-what are you doing?

196
00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,360
NAPPA [o-s]: I’m cuddling it, Vegeta.
[Wait, wasn't it vaporized?]

197
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VEGETA: It’s dead, Nappa.

198
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NAPPA [o-s; anguished]: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

199
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NAPPA: (Cries)... oh, I remember when we first got him, Vegeta...

200
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:52,000
[Barbara Streisand’s “The Way We Were” plays]

201
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[Well at least it used to; must've gotten taken down for copyright bullshit]

202
00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:58,060
[Just skip to 8:21 if you want to]

203
00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:03,460
[You're still here?]

204
00:08:07,940 --> 00:08:09,940
[Wow. Commitment.]

205
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:14,900
[wut]

206
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,160
[Oh hey we're almost done here...]

207
00:08:18,260 --> 00:08:20,680
[ssssoooooo what episode is it now?
i still wait for ep60 while writing this]

208
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[the Plan to Eradicate Christmas was nice]

209
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Ahh, good times.

210
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[Audio back to normal]
ATLA: You have freed our race!

211
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,800
You two are the greatest heroes known to our planet!

212
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We shall erect statues of you...

213
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NAPPA: Well, isn’t that nice of them, Vege--?

214
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:35,300
ATLA: ...out of our dung.

215
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:37,360
[Vegeta realizing the palace isn't made of stone]

216
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NAPPA: Well, isn’t that nice of them, Ve--?

217
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VEGETA: We’re leaving, Nappa.

218
00:08:39,940 --> 00:08:40,600
NAPPA: ‘K.

219
00:08:41,300 --> 00:08:45,120
Look at us, Vegeta. We've saved an entire race from tyranny.

220
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:48,920
We’re heroes, Vegeta. We are a couple of really great guy--

221
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:52,040
[Now THAT'S what you call pest control.]

222
00:08:53,060 --> 00:08:57,940
NAPPA: ...Ha ha!! Ahaha! Aha! Ahhhhhh... tragic.
[AIR???]

223
00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:02,200
[♫ Closing theme (DBZ intermission) ♫]

224
00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:09,220
GOHAN: 'Wow, I finally learned how to survive all by myself.'
[but have you learned dodging?]

225
00:09:09,220 --> 00:09:12,400
'Live on my own, and surviving off the fat of the land.'
[that is realy important]

226
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,420
'Mr. Piccolo will be so proud--'
[only if you learn how to dodge]

227
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:15,940
YAAAYYYAYAYAY...!

228
00:09:15,940 --> 00:09:16,720
[Thud]

229
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:17,740
Ehhgruuh...
[so no, you haven't]

230
00:09:17,740 --> 00:09:19,960
PICCOLO [o-s]: DOOOOOOOOOOOODGE!!!!