[WARNING: These subtitles contain added awesomeness. If you want the clean captions, please select the English option. Ta-ta~]
MR. KENT [on TV]: And there you have it, folks. [How do they have that angle?]
That man is yamchaed. Very, very yamchaed. (Man he blew up so fast Akmed called, he wants his job back, Shuddap Walter!)
JIMMY [on TV]: Mr. Kent, if you had to come up with a word for how dead he is, what would it be?
MR. KENT [on TV]: "Cadaverific!"
BULMA: (Crying)
Yamcha! No! I was saving myself for him! [Bullshit]
(Crying)
MASTER ROSHI: ...Bulls**t! [He's not wrong.] (Fat Italian Plumber swearing in Roshi's head)
[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]
♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫
♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z) (*This shows about children playing card gaamm- *watches Melvin get yamcha'd to shut him up*)
♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)
♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫
KRILLIN: Yamcha...
Yamcha!
Yamcha was our friend...
and you bastards killed him!
Don’t worry, Yamcha... I’ll avenge you!
PICCOLO [snarky]: Oh, right. YOU’RE going to avenge him.
The FIVE-YEAR-OLD over here is stronger than you are. (according to the scouters your wrong, Krillin's .1 Raditz stronger)
KRILLIN: But I--
PICCOLO: Face it, you’re pretty much here as a meat shield. [Gonna need some ice and a senzu for that burn...] *not to mention a wish to cover his shame, i mean burns )
NAPPA: Ha! Look at him, Vegeta. He’s like the *Raditz* of their group. [then what does that make yamcha] {yamcha so lame he even less the Raditz}
KRILLIN: That's it!
I can’t take it anymore!
I can only be pushed so far!
KRILLIN LIMIT BREEEEEAK!!!! *Final Fantasy VII: Those who Fight Starts Playing*
(oh look, he thinks hes people, the infantryman from Shinra have a higher power level then you)
(...... ok i stand corrected. the Janitorial Staff)
[Saibamen succumb to the transient awesomeness of Krillin, the one baldie to fail them all]
[♫ Final Fantasy 7 victory fanfare ♫]
(Panting)
That was... for Yamcha.
VEGETA: Congratulations, you've just destroyed the equivalent of three Raditz.
KRILLIN: That’s right! What now, you son of a bi--?!
VEGETA: Nappa here is worth FIVE Raditz...
KRILLIN: I, uh...
what? (realizing hes totally F***'D!)
VEGETA: ...and I am worth *fifteen* Raditz.
KRILLIN: I... (Think i need to take up Children card games, those are safe right?)
Awww...
NAPPA: Aw, come on, don’t get so down on yourself.
At least you’ve proven that YOUR Raditz is *still* stronger than our Raditz. [again what does that make yamcha] (Vegeta's public doornob) (The Prince, the Planet or Me?) (Everyone: YES!)
RADITZ: I...
RADITZ: I... hate...
RADITZ: I... hate... *all* of you! (Love you too best buddy)
VEGETA: So in short - good for you. Oh, by the way, you missed one.
[surprise midget]
GOHAN: Aaah!
[Shriek]
[Whimper]
PICCOLO: Yeah, no.
Hargh!
Argh!
HARGH!
[Terrified shriek]
GOHAN: That was incredible, Mr. Piccolo!
TENSHINHAN: Yeah! Way to go!
KRILLIN: But, what about--
PICCOLO: Well, we can all learn a thing or two.
KRILLIN: But I just killed three of them--!
CHIAOTZU: Nobody cares, Krillin!
KRILLIN: Aww... [This deserved a K.O.C. ding IMO]
VEGETA: Well, Nappa - looks like it’s your turn to teach them a lesson.
NAPPA: Yeah, right outta Saiyan University!
VEGETA [off-screen]: Hold on, you went to college?
NAPPA: Yup.
VEGETA: *What the hell* could someone like you possibly major in?
NAPPA: Child Psychology...
GOHAN: Wow! That sounds really interest--
NAPPA: ...*with a minor in Pain*!! [You'd think that'd be a major for all Saiyans.] (That pun though)
TENSHINHAN: Uhuh...?! NAPPA: Hurrrr...
TENSHINHAN: Gaugh! NAPPA: RAAGH!
[ (•_•) ]
TENSHINHAN: YAAAAAAAUGHAAAAAAAH!
[ ( •_•)>⌐■-■ ]
TENSHINHAN [o-s]: Haaaagh...! VEGETA: Looks like he’s been...
[ (⌐■_■) ]
TENSHINHAN [o-s]: HURAAARGH! VEGETA: DISARMED!
[...YEEEEAAAHHH!]
NAPPA [o-s]: I get it!
VEGETA: Shut it, Nappa.
TENSHINHAN: Guh!
NAPPA: Oh, I LOVE this game!
Tag! TENSHINHAN: Guahg!
Huagh!
NAPPA: No tagbacks.
TENSHINHAN: 'Agh, damn. This guy’s strong.'
'Maybe it would be best if I just took Chiaotzu and...'
'Wait, where is he??'
NAPPA: Vegeta! The Pokémon’s on my back.
TENSHINHAN: Chiaotzu! No!!
NAPPA: I can’t get it off, Vegeta!
Here! I’ll use Rock Smash.
[Booming crunch] CHIAOTZU: UU-HU!
TENSHINHAN: Chiaotzu! You get down from there this instant!
CHIAOTZU [telepathically]: No! I have to do this, Tenshinhan!
For all the people of Earth! Our friends! And especially you!
TENSHINHAN: But Chiaotzu...!
CHIAOTZU [t]: Don’t worry! You can just wish me back with the Dragon Balls!
Now goodbye, my friend!
TENSHINHAN: That won’t work, Chiaotzu!!!
We already wished you back once with the Dragon Balls! We can’t do it twice!
CHIAOTZU [t]: ...Wait, wha--?
[CHIAOTZU used Selfdestruct!] [it doesn't affect Nappa]
[CHIAOTZU fainted!]
TENSHINHAN: (Gasping)
No! NO! Chiaotzu!
CHIAOTZUUUU!!
KRILLIN: Oh, my God...
he blew into more pieces than Yamcha!
[smooth]
TENSHINHAN: Krillin!
KRILLIN: What?
TENSHINHAN: He was my closest friend!
I...
I loved him.
KRILLIN: As a memorial to Yamcha... ”gay”.
TENSHINHAN: 'At least your sacrifice wasn’t in vain, my friend.'
NAPPA: Aww, dang it, Vegeta. He used Selfdestruct. [You were saying, Triclops?]
I hate it when they do that.
TENSHINHAN [o-s]: DAMMIT!
NAPPA: Awwww, I think I made him mad, Vegeta. Should I talk to him about it?
The first step to working out your problems is healthy communication.
TENSHINHAN: FFRAAAAAAAGH!!!! [I think that means, "Just fucking die already!"]
NAPPA: Hey, that was very rude! I was talking to
VEGETA!!!
TENSHINHAN: GAAGH!!
Uagh!
Ugh!
GOHAN: Should--... shouldn’t we help him?
PICCOLO: Can’t you see - he has to fight this battle on his own.
He’s fighting for the honor of his fallen comrade.
TENSHINHAN: HELP ME!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HELP MEEEE!!! [Or rather, *dying* for the honor of his fallen comrade]
PICCOLO: Like a hero.
GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, help him!
PICCOLO: Oh, FINE! [To Krillin] Krillin, GO!
NAPPA: FOR PONYYYY!!
Uagh! He hit me!
Gaha! He hit me too!
PICCOLO: Gohan! Hurry up and blast him with all your strength... before he has time to
DOOOOOODGE!!!
[Piccolo's echo (in Gohan's head)] 'DOOOOOODGE!!!' GOHAN: (Whimpering)
(Shrieks)
PICCOLO: Damn you, PAVLOV!!
[Static]
NEWS REPORTER [on TV]: For those of you who don’t know who Pavlov is, allow us to take a brief moment to explain.
Back in 1904--
OOLONG: Get back to the fight!
PAVLOV'D NEWS REPORTER [on TV]: Aaand back to the fight.
[Static]
NAPPA: Hey, not gonna lie. Dick move, guys. Dick move.
KRILLIN: Piccolo... do you have a plan?
PICCOLO: That depends; can you get him in a Full Nelson?
KRILLIN: Any plans that don’t involve killing me? [yes but those are no fun]
PICCOLO: Well, there is the Multi-Form technique.
KRILLIN: But doesn’t that cut our power levels by--
PICCOLO: Plan A or Plan B, Krillin?!
KRILLIN: Plan B! Plan B!!
KRILLIN and PICCOLO: Shadow Doppelganger technique!
NAPPA: Vegeta! I can’t...
”Believe it [tebayo]”. [double facepalm]
VEGETA [o-s]: (Audibly expressing his Naruto fetish)
[typical for 90% of DBZ fight dialogue]
PICCOLO: 'He’s dodging every hit! We can’t lay a FINGER on him!'
'What kind of incredible mental discipline has this guy gone through?' [you don't wanna know]
NAPPA: Patty cake,
NAPPA: Patty cake, patty cake,
NAPPA: Patty cake, patty cake, baker’s
NAPPA: Patty cake, patty cake, baker’s MAN!
Bake me a
Bake me a cake as
Bake me a cake as fast as you
Bake me a cake as fast as you CAN!
[6] KRILLIN: D'UGH!
[7, 8] D'UH-HOUH!
Ahuh-houww...
PICCOLO: UGH-HOUGH!
NAPPA: Good effort, but I’m the Patty Cake champion. [you must have some soft hands then...STOP IT]
PICCOLO: ...What?
NAPPA: BUT, at least you didn’t uselessly self-destruct like that Pokémon. [a lot of them do that]
TENSHINHAN: You stupid....
ugly....
son of a bitch.
His *name*....
was CHIAOTZU!
KIKOHO!!!
NAPPA: Yeah, that Chiaotzu--
OHHH, MY GOOOD!
{BOOM}
TENSHINHAN: 'Right...'
'right behind you, Chiaotzu.'
Guah!
[Thud]
NAPPA: Ahaaaa... pointless.
KRILLIN: ...We’re gonna die, aren’t we?
NAPPA: Yep!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
[Welp, looks like the good guys are fucked...]
Ah! [...or not (?)]
Vegeta!
VEGETA: What?
Stupid Child Psychologist: ...I can flyyyy...!
VEGETA: Are... are... ugh. [Yeah, that level of stupid can be hard to articulate...]
Yes, Nappa, yes you can.
KRILLIN: You know, you’re going to be in a lot of trouble once Goku gets here!
VEGETA: Who?
KRILLIN: Goku. He’s stronger than all of us combined!
VEGETA: Well then, I guess we’d better kill you before he gets here. [look at vegeta being genre savvy for once]
KRILLIN: W-Wait, I mean...
NAPPA: But Vegeta, I wanna meet the strong guy! [of course you do]
VEGETA: Nappa, just kill them first and--
NAPPA: But I want him to SEE us kill them! [why are you protesting this vegeta]
VEGETA: Oh God, there’s no arguing with you!
Fine! We’ll give you three hours tops.
After that, I’m killing all of you.
NAPPA: Yaayyyyyyy!
And now we wait....
Is he here yet?
PICCOLO: No. KRILLIN: No. GOHAN: No.
NAPPA: Is he here yet?
PICCOLO [kinda annoyed]: *No*. KRILLIN [kinda annoyed]: *No*. GOHAN [kinda annoyed]: *No*.
NAPPA: Is he here yet?
PICCOLO [rather annoyed]: NO! KRILLIN [rather annoyed]: NO! GOHAN [rather annoyed]: NO!
NAPPA: Is he here yet?
PICCOLO [really annoyed]: NOO!! KRILLIN [really annoyed]: NOO!! GOHAN [really annoyed]: NOO!!
NAPPA: ...Is he here ye--?
VEGETA [fucking pissed]: *NOO*!!! PICCOLO [fucking pissed]: *NOO*!!! KRILLIN [fucking pissed]: *NOO*!!! GOHAN [fucking pissed]: *NOO*!!!
VEGETA: Goddamit, Nappa, just go do something! Go have fun, I don’t care how.
NAPPA: Oh, boy! This is gonna be my best...
NAPPA: Oh, boy! This is gonna be my best... day...
NAPPA: Oh, boy! This is gonna be my best... day... ever.
♪♪
Wheeeeee!
♪♪
Yay!
♪♪
Whoo! Hahaha!
♪♪ Wheee!
♪♪
Yayyy!
♪♪
Muhahahahaha!
♪♪
[Wind blows]
[Scouter beeps]
VEGETA: Well, time’s up; time to die.
PICCOLO: So, where’s your friend--
Vageta "friend": I’MBACK!
PICCOLO: GURHG!
[♫ Closing theme (DBZ intermission) ♫]
{Captions by PyroAvok}
VEGETA [o-s]: Nappa, where did your armor go?
NAPPA: I had a hell of a day, Vegeta.
I sank their *battleship*......
and their *whales*.
Seaman [wailing - get it?]: Nooooooooooooo........!