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[WARNING: These subtitles contain added awesomeness.
If you want the clean captions, please select the English option. Ta-ta~]

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GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo! Wake up! You have to stop him!

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PICCOLO: (Incoherent mumbling, likely from concussion)

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KRILLIN: Don’t worry, Gohan! Goku's never let us down!
I’m sure he’ll be here any second!

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IDIOT HERO: (Chomping)
[Sigh]

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IDIOT HERO [mouth full]: Mmmph... thanks for the food again, Princess Snake!

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PRINCESS SNAKE: Well, it’s the least I could do for trying to eat you like that.
GOKU: (Chomping)

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PRINCESS SNAKE: But I thought there was... something else you had to do?
GOKU: Mmm, bacon. (Chomping)

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PRINCESS SNAKE: Something about Saiyans... and the Earth?

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{GULP}

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GOKU: Crap crap CRAP CRAP!

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[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]

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♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫

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♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫
(With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)

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♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫
(Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)

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♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫

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GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, get up!

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GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, get up! Please get up!

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GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, get up! Please get up!
Seriously, he’s gonna kill us!

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NAPPA: Well, the green guy’s out. Too bad.
Guess I’ll have to find someone ELSE to play with!

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KRILLIN: 'Please not me'

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KRILLIN: 'Please not me please not me'

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KRILLIN: 'Please not me please not me please not me'

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KRILLIN: 'Please not me please not me please not me please not me'

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KRILLIN: 'Please not me please not me please not me please not me'
'PLEASE NOT ME!'

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NAPPA: Eenie

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NAPPA: Eenie meenie

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NAPPA: Eenie meenie minie

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you! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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SCREWED: Wh-what?

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Augh!

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Uuh-huuh!

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KRILLIN [o-s]: WHOOO! Not me!

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Gohan?

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Oh! Thought that would have lasted longer!

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NAPPA: Midget’s next! RHAAAA!

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MIDGET: Wait! My-turn-my-turn-MY-TURN!

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NAPPA: Oh!

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VEGETA: Wha--... Nappa, what are you doing?

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NAPPA: It’s his turn, Vegeta; I have to wait for him.

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VEGETA: Uh, owwwwwhhhhh, uh, ohhh…
[Remember, kids: stupidity affects other people too.]

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NAPPA [o-s]: You okay, Vegeta?

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VEGETA [o-s]: Yes, just... just an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity...

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NAPPA: Wow!

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Didn’t think you were that stupid, Vegeta.

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[LOL]
VEGETA: WAAAAUUUUUGH!!

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Nine minutes, eighteen seconds.

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Nine minutes, eighteen seconds.
Nine minutes, eighteen seconds…

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NAPPA: What’s that, Vegeta?

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VEGETA: Happiest...
[ ⚠ EPIC FORESHADOWING ]

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VEGETA: Happiest... moment...
[ EPIC FORESHADOWING ⚠ ]

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VEGETA: Happiest... moment... of...
[ ⚠ EPIC FORESHADOWING ]

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VEGETA: Happiest... moment... of... my life...!
[ EPIC FORESHADOWING ⚠ ]

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a JOKE: Hey! STOP TREATING ME LIKE A JOKE, DAMMIT!
[too late]

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I’ve got a new technique!

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Which I probably could have used earlier
and maybe saved all of our friends’ lives...

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but that’s besides the point!

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Get ready for my...

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Get ready for my... DESTRUCTO DISK!

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PICCOLO [groaning]: Laaaaaaame… (Says the ''Special Beam Canon'' Man)

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KRILLIN: Now… take THIS!

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NAPPA: Oooooooh, a frisbee, Vegeta!

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VEGETA: Nappa! No! It’s a trick!

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NAPPA: But Vegeta…

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NAPPA: But Vegeta…
Trix are for kiiids~

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[Another awesome one-liner XD]

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VEGETA …You know what, Nappa? On second thought, catch it.
Catch it with your teeth.

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NAPPA: Yaaay! Like a doggie!

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Ow ow OWHOWH!
[Your catching skills need work.]

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RICOLA GUY: Riiicolaa--

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RICOLA GUY: Riiicolaa--ohhh GODDAMMIT!!

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NAPPA: AAH, NO, MY FACE!
My precious modeling career!

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[Shutter snaps]
♪♪

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♪♪

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♪♪
[...What.]

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You know, I was trying to be a team player.
Trying to be a nice guy!
[In fairness, he was a team player... for Vegeta's side.]

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KRILLIN: You killed half our friends!

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NAPPA: I said, *trying*!

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KRILLIN: Well you’re failing--oh God!

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{DING}

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NAPPA: And so are you!

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PICCOLO: I’m back!

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NAPPA: AAAAAAAHHH I-see-what-you-did-there!

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PICCOLO: Now - it’s you and me, big guy!
And I’m gonna kick your a--!

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GOHAN: YAH!
NAPPA: AHH--!
PICCOLO: Whoa!

86
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[Jesus, where the fuck did that come from?!]

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GOHAN: Take that, you insufferable f**king simpleton!

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PICCOLO: WHOA, Gohan! WHAT THE HELL?!

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GOHAN: Oh!

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Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Piccolo.
I didn’t mean to snap like that!

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PICCOLO: No, stay snapped, STAY SNAPPED!

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Ahhhhh... God...dammit.

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NAPPA: Hrrrrrgh you-a-make-a-me-so-mad!

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(Growling)

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GOHAN: (Whimpering)

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NAPPA: Vegeta, look. I’ma firing my

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BLARRRGH!

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GOHAN: (More whimpering)

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PICCOLO: 'Alright... it’s time to redeem myself, through
one final act of redemption. I’ll save Gohan, and--'

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'Wait a second. Why didn’t I just grab him?
I can probably still do that now, actually!'
[Don't say it, just do it.]

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'Yeah, that's it. I’ll grab him and throw him out of the way--!'
[Piccolo, you're just wasting ti--]

102
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GAAAAAAAAAA!!
[Dammit, Piccolo.]

103
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{BOOOOOOM}

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KRILLIN: WAAHAA!

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PICCOLO: Yeah...

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PICCOLO: Yeah... that's right...

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PICCOLO: Yeah... that's right... I can take anything you can dish o--

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'Oh God there go my organs...'

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[Hard thud]

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GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo!

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PICCOLO: Ghh... Gohan... come closer... there’s...
something... I have to tell you...

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GOHAN: Is it that you always pictured me as a son...

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because you can never make your own, considering you lack the
reproductive organs to produce your own legitimate offspring--?
[He can probably just spit up an egg like his dad did.]

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PICCOLO: Nnnerrrrrrrrrrd…

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NERD: Wh--... what?

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PICCOLO: Just... shut up and... listen...

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GOHAN: What is it, Mr. Piccolo?

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Mr. PICCOLO: Why...

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Mr. PICCOLO: Why... didn't...

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Mr. PICCOLO: Why... didn't... you...

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Mr. PICCOLO: Why... didn't... you...
DOOOOOOOOODGE?!?!

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Bleh

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GOHAN: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
[That's two dads Gohan has now lost.]

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[Scream fades into echoes]

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KAMI: Eehh-oghh!

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Well, Mr. Popo... it seems my time has come.
But don’t worry, my friend...

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...you will go to Namek and wish myself
and the others back with their Dragon Balls.
[Hopefully, with a less raspy voice.]

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It will be a long and arduous journey... but I’m sure you can--

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DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT: Bitch, I ain't goin' nowhere.

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BITCH: But Mr. Popo! The fate of the entire universe is--

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MR. POPO: Pecking order!

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KAMI: But, I...

133
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Well then... [fading out] goodbye, my friend!

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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): Byyyyyee~!

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[Wind howling]

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NAPPA: Vegeta, did you see me kill the green guy?

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VEGETA: Yes Nappa, that was a very good kick.

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NAPPA: D'aww Vegeta! You weren’t watching!
Can you at least watch me kill the toddler?

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VEGETA: Ughh, fine...

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TRIGGERED: NNNAAAAAAGGGGHHH!!

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I’m gonna eviscerate you and use your gastrointestinal
tract as a condom while I fornicate with your SKULL!

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NAPPA: ...What?

143
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GOHAN: I'M GONNA SKULL F**K YOU!!

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MASENKO

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MASENKOHAAAAA!

146
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MASENKOHAAAAA!
NAPPA: YAAAGH!

147
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{BOOM}

148
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Aaagh, bitch, please!

149
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GOHAN: I'm... (Pant) sorry... Mr. Piccolo...
I... (Pant) I failed you.

150
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KRILLIN: You sure did!
I uh, I mean... sorry for your loss.
[Dick.]

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NAAPA: Well it’s been fun, kid. I mean, for me, not for you.

152
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As for you, everyone important to you is dead.

153
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KRILLIN: Hey, I'm still alive--!

154
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NAPPA: Everyone important.

155
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KRILLIN [o-s]: Dammit.
[What music is that?]

156
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[What music is that?]

157
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NAPPA: Now... NAPPA SMASH!

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GOHAN: Uhhh...!

159
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KRILLIN: Gahh...!

160
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NAPPA: ARRRGH!

161
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[Impact]

162
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Oo wa, wha?

163
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Oo wa, wha? Hey, where'd he go!?

164
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Oo wa, wha? Hey, where'd he go!? Did he disappear?

165
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Or was he never there to begin with?

166
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[Dramatic music]

167
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Oh, wait, there he is.

168
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Oh, wait, there he is.
GOHAN: (Gasp) Huh?

169
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GOHAN: (Gasp) Huh?

170
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♪♪

171
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IDIOT HERO: Hey guys! What'd I miss?

172
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I, oh...

173
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Are they all...

174
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Tenshinhan...

175
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Piccolo?

176
00:07:20,420 --> 00:07:23,720
Yamcha? Oh wow, especially Yamcha.

177
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:25,840
Wait, where’s Chiaotzu?

178
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KRILLIN: Oh, he’s here...
[really krillin?]

179
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KRILLIN: Oh, he’s here... and there...
[really krillin? stop!]

180
00:07:29,860 --> 00:07:31,200
KRILLIN: Oh, he’s here... and there... and there...
[really krillin? stop! seriously stop!]

181
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GOHAN: Krillin!

182
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KRILLIN: What?

183
00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:34,040
GOHAN: Too soon!

184
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GOKU: I'm sorry I'm late, you guys.
But I brought some Senzu beans for ya!
[Yeah, that makes *everything* better.]

185
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KRILLIN: Woohoo! Legume ex machina!

186
00:07:40,140 --> 00:07:42,620
GOKU: Hey! Which one of you did all this?

187
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NAPPA: That was me, totally calling it! I killed every single one of them!
'Cept the Chiaotzu; he blew *himself* up!

188
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GOKU: (Grunting(Also known as taking a sh*t))

189
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HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!![Translation: I'm constipated]

190
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Ughh!

191
00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:02,860
[Rocks crumbling]
[Wind blows]

192
00:08:02,860 --> 00:08:04,620
[You'll never guess what's next. ;)]

193
00:08:04,620 --> 00:08:08,640
NAPPA: Vegeta! What does the Scouter say about his power level?
[wait for it...]

194
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VEGETA: It's...!

195
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VEGETA [calmly]: One thousand and six.
[HA]

196
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NAPPA: Wha-- really?

197
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VEGETA: Yeah! Kick his ass, Nappa!

198
00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:15,880
[Scouter beeps]

199
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NAPPA: YAAAYYY!

200
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HaaaAAAA--

201
00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:19,520
HaaaAAAA--DOUH!
[that dosn't seems right]

202
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:20,080
HaaaAAAA--DOUH! OWF!
[that dosn't seems right]

203
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:20,580
HaaaAAAA--DOUH! OWF! AH!
[that dosn't seems right]

204
00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:21,080
HaaaAAAA--DOUH! OWF! AH! ARGH!
[well fuck it]

205
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:21,760
HaaaAAAA--DOUH! OWF! AH! ARGH! OW!
[well fuck it]

206
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[Sounds of beating and pain]

207
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Dah!
[

208
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:24,980
Dah! Doh!
[B

209
00:08:24,980 --> 00:08:25,480
Dah! Doh! Dah!
[BR

210
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:25,980
Dah! Doh! Dah! Doh!
[BRU

211
00:08:25,980 --> 00:08:26,540
Dah! Doh! Dah! Doh! Doh!
[BRUT

212
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:27,100
Dah! Doh! Dah! Doh! Doh! Doh!
[BRUTA

213
00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:27,920
Dah! Doh! Dah! Doh! Doh! Doh! Doh!
[BRUTAL]

214
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NAPPA: [o-s]: Ah, that doesn’t bend that way.
[Beeping]
VEGETA: Hmmm...

215
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:30,400
My arm doesn’t bend that way!
[Beeping]
that doesn’t seem right.

216
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,340
{THWACK} AH, NOW IT DOES!!
[Beeping]
Wait, wait wait wait!

217
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Nappa!

218
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,560
NAPPA: Augh-ha!
Whaaaaaat??

219
00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:40,180
VEGETA: I had the Scouter upside-down.
It’s over nine thousand.
[How the hell was it upside down?]

220
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:41,440
Rah.

221
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,700
NAPPA: Why do you sound so bored??

222
00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:47,000
VEGETA: Because it’s still not a threat...

223
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,080
NAPPA: But--
VEGETA: ...to me!

224
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:54,340
Besides, once we get the Dragon Balls we’ll just wish for immortality!
Then no one will be able to stop us!

225
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,720
GOKU: Wait, what? But, you killed Piccolo.

226
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,020
VEGETA: And your point is...?

227
00:09:00,020 --> 00:09:03,200
GOKU: Well, if he’s dead, the Dragon Balls don’t work.

228
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,180
VEGETA: Wh--... what?!

229
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:10,180
NAPPA: Ohhh, and I totally killed that guy.
Oh well, at least we still had fun getting here, right, Vegeta?

230
00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:11,360
VEGETA: Hurrgh...
NAPPA: Vegeta?

231
00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:12,780
VEGETA: Hurrgh...*urrrgh*...
NAPPA: Vegeta? Remember the bug planet?

232
00:09:12,780 --> 00:09:13,700
VEGETA: Hurrgh...*urrrgh*...
NAPPA: Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? Vegeta?

233
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:14,660
VEGETA: Hurrgh... *urrrgh*... *hurrrgh*...!
NAPPA: Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? Vegeta? Vegeta?

234
00:09:14,660 --> 00:09:15,420
VEGETA: Hurrgh... *urrrgh*... *hurrrgh*...!
NAPPA: Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?

235
00:09:15,420 --> 00:09:16,300
NAPPA: Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?
Vegeta?

236
00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:17,120
NAPPA: Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?
Vegeta? Vegeta?

237
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:17,660
NAPPA: Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?
Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?

238
00:09:17,660 --> 00:09:18,160
NAPPA: Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?
Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vege--

239
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:18,660
AAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

240
00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:21,800
[Fucked]

241
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:35,800
[Vegeta's happiest moment]
{you can feel the erection}

242
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:39,260
[♫ Closing theme (DBZ intermission) ♫]