[WARNING: These subtitles contain added awesomeness. If you want the clean captions, please select the English option. Ta-ta~]
GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo! Wake up! You have to stop him!
PICCOLO: (Incoherent mumbling, likely from concussion)
KRILLIN: Don’t worry, Gohan! Goku's never let us down! I’m sure he’ll be here any second!
IDIOT HERO: (Chomping) [Sigh]
IDIOT HERO [mouth full]: Mmmph... thanks for the food again, Princess Snake!
PRINCESS SNAKE: Well, it’s the least I could do for trying to eat you like that. GOKU: (Chomping)
PRINCESS SNAKE: But I thought there was... something else you had to do? GOKU: Mmm, bacon. (Chomping)
PRINCESS SNAKE: Something about Saiyans... and the Earth?
{GULP}
GOKU: Crap crap CRAP CRAP!
[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]
♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫
♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)
♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)
♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫
GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, get up!
GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, get up! Please get up!
Seriously, he’s gonna kill us!
NAPPA: Well, the green guy’s out. Too bad. Guess I’ll have to find someone ELSE to play with!
KRILLIN: 'Please not me'
KRILLIN: 'Please not me please not me'
KRILLIN: 'Please not me please not me please not me'
KRILLIN: 'Please not me please not me please not me please not me'
'PLEASE NOT ME!'
NAPPA: Eenie
NAPPA: Eenie meenie
NAPPA: Eenie meenie minie
you! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
SCREWED: Wh-what?
Augh!
Uuh-huuh!
KRILLIN [o-s]: WHOOO! Not me!
Gohan?
Oh! Thought that would have lasted longer!
NAPPA: Midget’s next! RHAAAA!
MIDGET: Wait! My-turn-my-turn-MY-TURN!
NAPPA: Oh!
VEGETA: Wha--... Nappa, what are you doing?
NAPPA: It’s his turn, Vegeta; I have to wait for him.
VEGETA: Uh, owwwwwhhhhh, uh, ohhh… [Remember, kids: stupidity affects other people too.]
NAPPA [o-s]: You okay, Vegeta?
VEGETA [o-s]: Yes, just... just an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity...
NAPPA: Wow!
Didn’t think you were that stupid, Vegeta.
[LOL] VEGETA: WAAAAUUUUUGH!!
Nine minutes, eighteen seconds.
Nine minutes, eighteen seconds…
NAPPA: What’s that, Vegeta?
VEGETA: Happiest... [ ⚠ EPIC FORESHADOWING ]
VEGETA: Happiest... moment... [ EPIC FORESHADOWING ⚠ ]
VEGETA: Happiest... moment... of... [ ⚠ EPIC FORESHADOWING ]
VEGETA: Happiest... moment... of... my life...! [ EPIC FORESHADOWING ⚠ ]
a JOKE: Hey! STOP TREATING ME LIKE A JOKE, DAMMIT! [too late]
I’ve got a new technique!
Which I probably could have used earlier and maybe saved all of our friends’ lives...
but that’s besides the point!
Get ready for my...
Get ready for my... DESTRUCTO DISK!
PICCOLO [groaning]: Laaaaaaame… (Says the ''Special Beam Canon'' Man)
KRILLIN: Now… take THIS!
NAPPA: Oooooooh, a frisbee, Vegeta!
VEGETA: Nappa! No! It’s a trick!
NAPPA: But Vegeta…
Trix are for kiiids~
[Another awesome one-liner XD]
VEGETA …You know what, Nappa? On second thought, catch it. Catch it with your teeth.
NAPPA: Yaaay! Like a doggie!
Ow ow OWHOWH! [Your catching skills need work.]
RICOLA GUY: Riiicolaa--
RICOLA GUY: Riiicolaa--ohhh GODDAMMIT!!
NAPPA: AAH, NO, MY FACE! My precious modeling career!
[Shutter snaps] ♪♪
[...What.]
You know, I was trying to be a team player. Trying to be a nice guy! [In fairness, he was a team player... for Vegeta's side.]
KRILLIN: You killed half our friends!
NAPPA: I said, *trying*!
KRILLIN: Well you’re failing--oh God!
{DING}
NAPPA: And so are you!
PICCOLO: I’m back!
NAPPA: AAAAAAAHHH I-see-what-you-did-there!
PICCOLO: Now - it’s you and me, big guy! And I’m gonna kick your a--!
GOHAN: YAH! NAPPA: AHH--! PICCOLO: Whoa!
[Jesus, where the fuck did that come from?!]
GOHAN: Take that, you insufferable f**king simpleton!
PICCOLO: WHOA, Gohan! WHAT THE HELL?!
GOHAN: Oh!
Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Piccolo. I didn’t mean to snap like that!
PICCOLO: No, stay snapped, STAY SNAPPED!
Ahhhhh... God...dammit.
NAPPA: Hrrrrrgh you-a-make-a-me-so-mad!
(Growling)
GOHAN: (Whimpering)
NAPPA: Vegeta, look. I’ma firing my
BLARRRGH!
GOHAN: (More whimpering)
PICCOLO: 'Alright... it’s time to redeem myself, through one final act of redemption. I’ll save Gohan, and--'
'Wait a second. Why didn’t I just grab him? I can probably still do that now, actually!' [Don't say it, just do it.]
'Yeah, that's it. I’ll grab him and throw him out of the way--!' [Piccolo, you're just wasting ti--]
GAAAAAAAAAA!! [Dammit, Piccolo.]
{BOOOOOOM}
KRILLIN: WAAHAA!
PICCOLO: Yeah...
PICCOLO: Yeah... that's right...
PICCOLO: Yeah... that's right... I can take anything you can dish o--
'Oh God there go my organs...'
[Hard thud]
GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo!
PICCOLO: Ghh... Gohan... come closer... there’s... something... I have to tell you...
GOHAN: Is it that you always pictured me as a son...
because you can never make your own, considering you lack the reproductive organs to produce your own legitimate offspring--? [He can probably just spit up an egg like his dad did.]
PICCOLO: Nnnerrrrrrrrrrd…
NERD: Wh--... what?
PICCOLO: Just... shut up and... listen...
GOHAN: What is it, Mr. Piccolo?
Mr. PICCOLO: Why...
Mr. PICCOLO: Why... didn't...
Mr. PICCOLO: Why... didn't... you...
DOOOOOOOOODGE?!?!
Bleh
GOHAN: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! [That's two dads Gohan has now lost.]
[Scream fades into echoes]
KAMI: Eehh-oghh!
Well, Mr. Popo... it seems my time has come. But don’t worry, my friend...
...you will go to Namek and wish myself and the others back with their Dragon Balls. [Hopefully, with a less raspy voice.]
It will be a long and arduous journey... but I’m sure you can--
DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT: Bitch, I ain't goin' nowhere.
BITCH: But Mr. Popo! The fate of the entire universe is--
MR. POPO: Pecking order!
KAMI: But, I...
Well then... [fading out] goodbye, my friend!
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): Byyyyyee~!
[Wind howling]
NAPPA: Vegeta, did you see me kill the green guy?
VEGETA: Yes Nappa, that was a very good kick.
NAPPA: D'aww Vegeta! You weren’t watching! Can you at least watch me kill the toddler?
VEGETA: Ughh, fine...
TRIGGERED: NNNAAAAAAGGGGHHH!!
I’m gonna eviscerate you and use your gastrointestinal tract as a condom while I fornicate with your SKULL!
NAPPA: ...What?
GOHAN: I'M GONNA SKULL F**K YOU!!
MASENKO
MASENKOHAAAAA!
NAPPA: YAAAGH!
{BOOM}
Aaagh, bitch, please!
GOHAN: I'm... (Pant) sorry... Mr. Piccolo... I... (Pant) I failed you.
KRILLIN: You sure did! I uh, I mean... sorry for your loss. [Dick.]
NAAPA: Well it’s been fun, kid. I mean, for me, not for you.
As for you, everyone important to you is dead.
KRILLIN: Hey, I'm still alive--!
NAPPA: Everyone important.
KRILLIN [o-s]: Dammit. [What music is that?]
NAPPA: Now... NAPPA SMASH!
GOHAN: Uhhh...!
KRILLIN: Gahh...!
NAPPA: ARRRGH!
[Impact]
Oo wa, wha?
Oo wa, wha? Hey, where'd he go!?
Oo wa, wha? Hey, where'd he go!? Did he disappear?
Or was he never there to begin with?
[Dramatic music]
Oh, wait, there he is.
GOHAN: (Gasp) Huh?
♪♪
IDIOT HERO: Hey guys! What'd I miss?
I, oh...
Are they all...
Tenshinhan...
Piccolo?
Yamcha? Oh wow, especially Yamcha.
Wait, where’s Chiaotzu?
KRILLIN: Oh, he’s here... [really krillin?]
KRILLIN: Oh, he’s here... and there... [really krillin? stop!]
KRILLIN: Oh, he’s here... and there... and there... [really krillin? stop! seriously stop!]
GOHAN: Krillin!
KRILLIN: What?
GOHAN: Too soon!
GOKU: I'm sorry I'm late, you guys. But I brought some Senzu beans for ya! [Yeah, that makes *everything* better.]
KRILLIN: Woohoo! Legume ex machina!
GOKU: Hey! Which one of you did all this?
NAPPA: That was me, totally calling it! I killed every single one of them! 'Cept the Chiaotzu; he blew *himself* up!
GOKU: (Grunting(Also known as taking a sh*t))
HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!![Translation: I'm constipated]
Ughh!
[Rocks crumbling] [Wind blows]
[You'll never guess what's next. ;)]
NAPPA: Vegeta! What does the Scouter say about his power level? [wait for it...]
VEGETA: It's...!
VEGETA [calmly]: One thousand and six. [HA]
NAPPA: Wha-- really?
VEGETA: Yeah! Kick his ass, Nappa!
[Scouter beeps]
NAPPA: YAAAYYY!
HaaaAAAA--
HaaaAAAA--DOUH! [that dosn't seems right]
HaaaAAAA--DOUH! OWF! [that dosn't seems right]
HaaaAAAA--DOUH! OWF! AH! [that dosn't seems right]
HaaaAAAA--DOUH! OWF! AH! ARGH! [well fuck it]
HaaaAAAA--DOUH! OWF! AH! ARGH! OW! [well fuck it]
[Sounds of beating and pain]
Dah! [
Dah! Doh! [B
Dah! Doh! Dah! [BR
Dah! Doh! Dah! Doh! [BRU
Dah! Doh! Dah! Doh! Doh! [BRUT
Dah! Doh! Dah! Doh! Doh! Doh! [BRUTA
Dah! Doh! Dah! Doh! Doh! Doh! Doh! [BRUTAL]
NAPPA: [o-s]: Ah, that doesn’t bend that way. [Beeping] VEGETA: Hmmm...
My arm doesn’t bend that way! [Beeping] that doesn’t seem right.
{THWACK} AH, NOW IT DOES!! [Beeping] Wait, wait wait wait!
Nappa!
NAPPA: Augh-ha! Whaaaaaat??
VEGETA: I had the Scouter upside-down. It’s over nine thousand. [How the hell was it upside down?]
Rah.
NAPPA: Why do you sound so bored??
VEGETA: Because it’s still not a threat...
NAPPA: But-- VEGETA: ...to me!
Besides, once we get the Dragon Balls we’ll just wish for immortality! Then no one will be able to stop us!
GOKU: Wait, what? But, you killed Piccolo.
VEGETA: And your point is...?
GOKU: Well, if he’s dead, the Dragon Balls don’t work.
VEGETA: Wh--... what?!
NAPPA: Ohhh, and I totally killed that guy. Oh well, at least we still had fun getting here, right, Vegeta?
VEGETA: Hurrgh... NAPPA: Vegeta?
VEGETA: Hurrgh...*urrrgh*... NAPPA: Vegeta? Remember the bug planet?
VEGETA: Hurrgh...*urrrgh*... NAPPA: Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? Vegeta?
VEGETA: Hurrgh... *urrrgh*... *hurrrgh*...! NAPPA: Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? Vegeta? Vegeta?
VEGETA: Hurrgh... *urrrgh*... *hurrrgh*...! NAPPA: Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?
Vegeta?
NAPPA: Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?
NAPPA: Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?
NAPPA: Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vege--
AAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!
[Fucked]
[Vegeta's happiest moment] {you can feel the erection}
[♫ Closing theme (DBZ intermission) ♫]