Narrator: So, after seven hundred and thirty-one grueling galactic weeks of travel or
one month if you never watched “Men in Black" [Nerrrd.]
our *ahem* ..."heroes" have finally arrived on planet Namek
where the sky is green, the grass is blue, and it’s boring as s**t. [Good thing we have the Freeza force to entertain us.]
Krillin: Hey, Gohan. Check it out. Blue grass.
What do you think their favorite kind of music is? [jazz]
Huh? Huh? (The Greens?)
Gohan: R and... B?
Krillin: Huh. You’re really sheltered, aren’t you? [no just awkward]
AWKWARD NERD: I had to read an entire book about peach farming on the way here. You tell me. [How does that help Gohan's studies?]
Krillin: Well… hey! We’re on Namek now! Bulma, got the Dragon Radar? (No, she left it in the *other* space ship)
Bulma: Right here! *beep* We’re already picking up four Dragon Balls!
Krillin: See? Now we just have to find them, wish our friends back, and head on home! [Wow that sounds easy!]
*pod whooshing*
Bulma: Hey Krillin, is that a Saiyan ship? *pod whooshing*
Concerned Krillin: Huh? [Guess not] *pod whooshing*
Gohan: I think I sense Vegeta. *pod whooshing*
Worried Krillin: Huh?! *pod whooshing*
Bulma: Oh, and now those four Dragon Balls are on the move. *pod whooshing*
Scared S**tless Krillin: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH-
♪♪Cha La Head Cha La♪♪
(Krillin destroying his vocal cords reflexively)
♪♪ -aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-
Prince Vegeta: Ahh, good to be back at 100% again.
-aaaaaaaaaa-
Augh, I just got here and this planet’s already annoying me. [Hey, Could be worse.]
-aaaaaaaa- *pod whooshing*
Wait a minute, is that Cui’s pod? [How can you tell?]
-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-
Well I better go take care of this.
-aaaaaaaaAAAAAAUHGH!
*gasps for breath*
Gohan: Ya done, Krillin?
Krillin: Yah… I’m good.
Soldier 1: Hey! What’s that over there?
Krillin: AAAAAAAA- (How'd his hat get back on his head?)
Soldier 2: In the name of Freeza we demand that you stop! -aaaaaaaaaaaaa-
-AAAAaaaah..
Krillin: Wait, haven’t I heard that name before? (and now the hat's disappeared again. Is it magical?)
Soldier 2: Alright, stay where you are and we’ll shoot you.
Magical Hat Wearing Krillin: Don’t you mean “OR we’ll shoot you?” (No, I think they meant and)
Soldier 2: We know what we said!
*blam*
*BOO-
German Toilet: SCHEIße!! ("s**t)
-OOOM*
*glass shatters*
Magical Hat Wearing Krillin: Huh... Well, there goes our ship...
Bulma: What the f[bleep]kin' hell?!
Soldier 1: Damn, man. You couldn’t hit the broad side of a space barn.
Soldier 2: Yeah, well, that’s only because I’m too busy hitting the broad side of your mom! [Sadly, that was the best response so far.]
*pow*
Ow my face!
*pow*
*pinball ding*
*falling whistle*
*splash*
Hatless Krillin: Hah! Looks like they’re all [(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)] washed up!
Yeaaaaaaaahhhhh… da da da dada *ding* oh. (*slow clap*)
Bulma: I can’t believe this.
We’re stranded on an alien planet. (It could be worse)
It’s like “Pitch Black” only our Vin Diesel is a total bitch. [But at least this is better than Pitch Black.]
Magical Hat Wearing Krillin: It might be best if we get ourselves out of the open. Hey, look! A cave!
See Bulma, isn’t this nice?
*spooky cave noises* A nice dark, dank cave?
Cave: Rrrrroooooaarrr...
Bulma: Who knows? Maybe here I’ll finally meet a real man. [Who can knock you up then leave you?]
Magical Hat Wearing Krillin: What about Yamcha? (Haha. No.)
[Haha. No.]
Bulma: A *real* man. (Exactly)
Gohan: Hey, uh, Krillin, do you feel that? [pure evil...yes i do feel that]
Krillin: What? The need to pee? [your pants]
Well they destroyed the toilet so I guess I’ll just use a bush or-
OH MY GOD GET IN THE CAVE!
*ki-based-flight-at-high-speed noises*
*soldiers whooshing past*
Gohan: Krillin! They have the Dragon Balls.
Krillin: Yes Gohan, I noticed.
Gohan: Did you feel their power levels? They were as strong as Vegeta.
Krillin: Yes, Gohan. I noticed!
Gohan: But that one guy at the front, he was like a hundred Vegetas.
Wet Pants Krillin: YES, GOHAN, I NOTICED!
On the bright side, I no longer have to pee anymore! (as expected)
(gross) Lemme go change in the cave…
♪♪
Bulma: Geez, took you long enough. (Wonder what he was doing for those 10 minutes *wink*wink*)
Cleaned Up Stress Relieved Krillin: We’re going after those Dragon Balls.
Bulma: Whoa, what?
Confident Krillin: We may be outmatched...but we didn’t come this far just to give up!
Bulma: What the heck happened in that cave? (You'll find out *wink*wink*)
Krillin: Something I should’ve taken care of a month ago. (what is that white stuff on your...oh)
Gohan: I don't get it. (You will when you're older ,Gohan. Trust me.)
Krillin: Come on, Gohan! Bulma, stay here and call Roshi back on Earth!
We may need backup. Stay close, Gohan! [MAY need backup?]
*boing boing boing*
Bulma: Well, I guess I better set up camp then. (Here it *comes* lol)
{Countdown to what happened in the cave}...3
...2...
...1...AAANND
OH GOD IT’S EVERYWHERE! (Krillin would make a great hentai protagonist. Not that I'd know about that anyway.)
*music on radio*
*phone rings*
Roshi: Kame house. Where the beaches are fine and the bitches are finer. [Why is he not wearing pants?]
Could you speak up? I’m not wearing pants. (They are his very special hearing aids.)
And not only is Vegeta on the planet, but apparently someone else is there, even stronger than him.
So in short, s**t be wack, yo!
Snoop Goku: Fo shizzle master Rizzle.
But I can’t do anything until I’m fully healed though.
If only there were a way…
Yo-Yo Brain: Hey there, I thought I’d just drop in with these magical senzu beans
that heal all wounds and restore your stamina.
Goku: ...If only there were a w-
Master Rizzle: Take the damn magical beans, Goku! (But they're bland and tasteless and don't taste like bacon!)
Goku: Ooh! Sweet science-y magic!
♪♪ Popeye Theme ♪♪
Naked time!
Alright!
‘Kay guys, I’m goin’ to Bulma’s place.
By the way, takin’ the beans.
Roshi: Krillin?
Goku: Krillin. [Figures.]
Roshi: But… why Bulma’s?
Goku: Well, I need a ship and Bulma’s dad’s a scientist.
Roshi: I’m not even gonna begin to go into what is wrong with that. (Smart guy = rocket scientist, got it)
I just wish you good luck.
Goku: Nimbus! [YOU CAN FLY!]
Later, guys! [WHY DO YOU NEED A CLOUD?! YOU CAN FLY!]
Nimbus?
Nimbu- Oh god oh crap oh geez-
*crash* *car alarm* [WHY DIDN'T YOU *DOOODGE*] (Someone's gonna need another Senzu.)
I’m okay!
*Nimbus noise*
Oh… There he is.
*alarm*
Roshi: (sighs)
Kiwi Man: Hello there, Vegeta. Fancy meeting you here.
A Real Man: So you followed me? Sure took your sweet time.
Cui: Well I could’ve gotten here sooner but I stopped on my way to plow YOUR mother!
Parentless Vegeta: My mother's dead.
Cui: I know. [So you plowed a dead person? Weird.] [Necrophilia... how 'bout that]
Vegeta: You know, I’m having trouble remembering, Cui.
What’s your power level?
Necrophiliac Cui: Hah! You would forget! 18,000. Same as yours, Vegeta.
Educated Vegeta: Funny that. See, I just read my official Saiyan handbook
and it says right here:
“When a Saiyan is beaten to near death, their power level increases immensely.”
Cui: Well I don’t see what that has to do with anything.
Vegeta: And while I was down on Earth, oh man, I got DESTROYED.
Cui: HA HA HA you... what?
Vegeta: Yep. All by a low level warrior, his half-breed son, a midget, and an obese man with a sword. [Goku/Kakarot, Gohan, Krillin, and Yajirobe.]
I lost outright.
Cui: Why are you telling me this?!
You'd never tell anyone this!
Vegeta: Easy. Because I know you’ll never tell anybody, Cui.
Cui: But- but I hate you! Why would I-
AAAAAAAGH!!! (That's why)
Vegeta: God, I love therapy. [and we love you...no homo]
*poof* Oh!
Flamboyant Pretty Boy Alien: Oh my, I seem to have gone off prematurely.
Horny Space Alien: Well, hell. Looks like Vegeta just took out Cui.
Poor fish-faced bastard.
Flamboyant Pretty Boy Alien: Wait, which one was Cui?
Horny Space Alien: You remember. Purple guy, hated Vegeta.
Flamboyant Pretty Boy Alien: Gonna have to be a little more specific. (Purple people hate Vegeta apparently. Wonder how that's gonna affect his relationship with his son.)
Horny Space Alien: Reproduced asexually.
Flamboyant Pretty Boy Alien: Oh, him. Ew.
You know I wouldn’t have minded so much if he wasn’t all up in my face about it.
I can only swallow so much. ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
Slightly Less Horny Space Alien: Will you two pay attention?
These innocent bumpkins won’t slaughter themselves.
Flamboyant Pretty Boy Alien: Well you might be able to find a way to make them. [That'd be something to see.]
Slightly Less Horny Sadist: Oooh! That’d be fun. Heeheeheeheeheehee!
Narrator: A new evil has revealed its face.
Who are these mysterious enemies?
And do Gohan and Krillin stand a chance? [Of course they don't.]
The answer to these questions will be revealed…
right now!
Zarbon
Dodoria
Freeza
And ohhh myyy, no.
Fourth Wall Breaking Krillin: Wait, what-
*outro*
{Original English Captions by PyroAvok} {Canadian Captions By Ultra 64}
King Kai: Alright, now that you have arrived on my planet we will begin your training.
Tenshinhan, Chaotzu; twenty laps around the planet. [Considering the planet size, is that even good excersize?]
Piccolo-
Piccolo: Go to hell, I’m meditating.
King Kai: Keep doing that.
Yamcha-
Yamcha: What is it, King Kai? I’m ready for anything!
King Kai: Wash my car.
Yamcha: Oooh! Like in that movie!
Wax on, wax off!
King Kai: Yeah, go wax off.