1 00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:06,600 [WARNING: These subtitles contain added awesomeness. If you want the clean captions, please select the English option. Ta-ta~] 2 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:10,220 KRILLIN: Alright, Gohan... keep your power level down. 3 00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:14,340 GOHAN: I’m trying, but I can’t seem to get it as low as yours, Krillin. 4 00:00:14,340 --> 00:00:16,740 KRILLIN: But I haven’t ev-- I mean, yeah! 5 00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:18,260 Like me! [Good save][The birth of "Stealth Mode"] 6 00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:20,920 GOHAN: Hey, Krillin, look! The Dragon Balls! 7 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:24,920 KRILLIN: *Whoa*, those things are *huge*! AC/DC be *damned*! 8 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:27,180 KRILLIN: Jeez... these aliens are scary. 9 00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:27,680 MR. BLOBBY [sotto]: Heh. KRILLIN: Jeez... these aliens are scary. 10 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:28,180 MR. BLOBBY [sotto]: Heh. KRILLIN: Jeez... these aliens are scary. 11 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:29,580 KRILLIN: Especially that one in the front. 12 00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:30,280 F.A.G. [sotto]: He-heh, heh. KRILLIN: Especially that one in the front. 13 00:00:30,620 --> 00:00:32,020 Looks like a total FAG. [WOAH MAN!] 14 00:00:32,020 --> 00:00:32,700 GOHAN: Krillin! 15 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,400 KRILLIN: What? A "Freaky Alien Genotype". [less offensive] 16 00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:36,900 What’d you think I meant? 17 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:40,620 GOHAN: Oh. I thought you were calling him a derogatory term for a homosexual. 18 00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:41,760 KRILLIN: THAT THING’S A GUY?! [we still do not know to this day what gender it is] 19 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:43,620 [♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫] 20 00:00:43,620 --> 00:00:46,380 ♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫ 21 00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:50,780 ♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z) 22 00:00:50,780 --> 00:00:54,100 ♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~) 23 00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:55,840 ♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫ 24 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,080 DODORIA: Hmm? What was that? 25 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,460 SPACE DUCKS: NnnghNnnuhhh.... 26 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:06,440 Quack! 27 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,000 DODORIA: Oh, it’s just a space duck. 28 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,640 MOURI: Who are you? 29 00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:13,420 FREEZA: Hello. Allow us to introduce ourselves. 30 00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:18,560 My name is Freeza, and we’re a traveling improv group. Here, let me give you a demonstration: 31 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:23,460 My men shall play a group of drunken sailors, and you’re a bunch of baby seals. 32 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:24,460 Aaaand, go. 33 00:01:24,620 --> 00:01:25,240 {POW} BABY SEAL 1: AGH! 34 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:26,420 BABY SEAL 2: GAAGH--guh! 35 00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:27,680 FREEZA: Aaand, scene. [Eh, 6/10] 36 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:28,620 MOURI: Ugh... [Young Namekians whimper] 37 00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:29,620 [Young Namekians whimper] 38 00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:32,640 MOURI: What do you want from us? Why are you slaughtering our people? 39 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:33,140 ANOTHER F.A.G.: Mmm! MOURI: What do you want from us? Why are you slaughtering our people? 40 00:01:33,140 --> 00:01:33,640 ANOTHER F.A.G.: Mmm! MOURI: What do you want from us? Why are you slaughtering our people? 41 00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:38,920 FREEZA: Well, you see - I was just in the area, and I thought this would be a delightful place for a summer home-- 42 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,160 what the f**k do you think I’m here for?! 43 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:43,340 MOURI: ...Our trees? 44 00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:45,560 FREEZA: ...Zarbon, two or three more. 45 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:46,220 ZARBON: Two or three more? 46 00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:46,820 FREEZA: Two or three more. 47 00:01:46,820 --> 00:01:47,440 {POW} BABY SEAL 3: GAH! 48 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,120 BABY SEAL 4: GAAUGH! 49 00:01:48,740 --> 00:01:52,780 FREEZA: Very good, Zarbon! See? Why can’t you be more like him, Dodoria? 50 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,460 DODORIA: Sorreh. Just listening to the space duck. 51 00:01:55,820 --> 00:01:56,540 SPACE DUCK [off-screen, distant]: QUACK! 52 00:01:56,540 --> 00:01:57,440 [LOL] SPACE DUCK [off-screen, distant]: QUACK! QUACK! 53 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,480 DODORIA: What a majestic creature... 54 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,260 FREEZA: Now-h-how, then, all kidding aside… 55 00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:04,300 Where’s the Dragon Ball? 56 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:05,680 MOURI: We don’t have it. 57 00:02:05,980 --> 00:02:11,480 FREEZA: You know, I’d be inclined to believe you if the last village elder didn’t say the exact same thing… 58 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:15,400 until we killed everyone and tortured the information out of him, of course. 59 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,760 [Namekians grunt / whimper in fear] It’s the darndest thing, too… 60 00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:21,180 you’re beginning to remind me a lot of him... [doesn't help that a lot of you look the same] 61 00:02:21,780 --> 00:02:23,880 MOURI: Please... do not be upset. 62 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:25,880 FREEZA: Ohhh, I don’t get upset. I have people to do that for me. [what about when you run out] 63 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:28,780 Dodoria... 64 00:02:28,780 --> 00:02:29,760 DODORIA: With gusto. 65 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,400 [Foreboding music] 66 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,260 [Foreboding music; young Namekians whimper] 67 00:02:36,260 --> 00:02:39,100 [Foreboding music] 68 00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:43,040 MOURI: (Grunting) [Foreboding music] 69 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,280 [Scouter beeps] 70 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,240 ???: Stop right there! 71 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,340 [Musical swell (heroic music)] 72 00:02:49,820 --> 00:02:52,520 FREEZA: Oh, look - more baby seals. 73 00:02:52,780 --> 00:02:53,500 [♫ ▶ ♫] TYPICAL HERO: We’re here to stop this senseless slaughter of our people. 74 00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:55,940 TYPICAL HERO: We’re here to stop this senseless slaughter of our people. (Oh great, heroic speeches) (Like he hasn't heard those a lot) 75 00:02:55,940 --> 00:02:56,700 [♫ ⏸ ♫] FREEZA: Ninety two...[only 92 your slipping] 76 00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:57,260 FREEZA: Ninety two...[only 92 your slipping] 77 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,000 [♫ ▶ ♫] TYPICAL HERO: This has gone on for too long. And now, you’re going to pay. 78 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,160 TYPICAL HERO: This has gone on for too long. And now, you’re going to pay. 79 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:01,900 [♫ ⏸ ♫] FREEZA: Three hundred and fifty-five… [that's...better] 80 00:03:01,900 --> 00:03:02,700 FREEZA: Three hundred and fifty-five…[that's...better] 81 00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:03,660 [♫ ▶ ♫] TYPICAL HERO: We are… 82 00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:04,520 We… 83 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:05,180 [♫ ⏸ ♫] What are you-- 84 00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:07,180 FREEZA: No, go on, continue, don’t mind me. 85 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:08,460 TYPICAL HERO: ...Aaand… 86 00:03:08,460 --> 00:03:09,260 [♫ ▶ ♫] TYPICAL HERO: ...Aaand… 87 00:03:09,260 --> 00:03:11,100 We are the ones who will stop you! 88 00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:11,900 [♫ ⏸ ♫] FREEZA: Ooh, wow, four hundred and nineteen. [did you count beerus in that] 89 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:12,900 FREEZA: Ooh, wow, four hundred and nineteen. [did you count beerus in that] 90 00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:13,400 [♫ ▶ ♫] TYPICAL HERO: That-- 91 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:14,200 [♫ ⏹ ♫ (Needle scratch)] What the Hell are you doing?! 92 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:15,260 What the Hell are you doing?! 93 00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:17,700 FREEZA: Oh, sorry, it’s a little hobby of mine. 94 00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:25,300 I hear these heroic speeches so wearily often, so I started making a mental list of how many times I’ve heard certain lines. 95 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:28,120 TYPICAL HERO: You… You insane bastard! 96 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,640 INSANE BASTARD: One hundred and ninety. [four...counting beerus] 97 00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:34,020 TYPICAL HERO: Yeah? Well... uh... we’re going... to… 98 00:03:34,740 --> 00:03:36,260 F**K YOUR *FACE*! 99 00:03:36,260 --> 00:03:38,520 [Bold boast for a species that can't fuck ;)] FREEZA: Ho-ho-ho, my...! 100 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:39,100 Twelve. [thirteen...counting bardock] 101 00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:39,980 TYPICAL HERO: Hrrrrgh! 102 00:03:39,980 --> 00:03:41,100 FREEZA: Zarbon, give the command! 103 00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,700 ZARBON: Dodoria, give the command! 104 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:43,280 DODORIA: *Get ‘em*. 105 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,720 DISPOSABLE MOOKS: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! 106 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:49,320 [Disposable Mooks getting their faces f**ked] 107 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,040 BRAVE CHILD: Krillin! We have to help them! 108 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,640 SPACE DUCK: Gohan, we need to stick to the plan. 109 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:58,220 QUACK! 110 00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:01,320 BRAVE CHILD: What plan? You just keep quacking over and over. 111 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,400 SPACE DUCK: And we’re still *alive*! (Yes, but for now Krillin, for now.) 112 00:04:05,380 --> 00:04:08,280 ZARBON: Sir, they seem to be stronger than we thought. 113 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:11,600 FREEZA: Oh, how cute. They can hide their little power levels. 114 00:04:11,820 --> 00:04:13,140 {KABOOOM} [Disposable mook screams in the background] 115 00:04:13,140 --> 00:04:14,700 DODORIA: Kinda killin’ our guys. 116 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:19,400 FREEZA: Oh, we have more of those things back at the ship. It’s not like we’re losing anything valuable. 117 00:04:20,020 --> 00:04:20,520 DODORIA: Gurrh! 118 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:24,740 FREEZA: Huh--ughhhhhh.... 119 00:04:25,260 --> 00:04:28,740 MOURI: Hah! Now you can no longer find our villages! [wrong] 120 00:04:29,420 --> 00:04:30,460 FREEZA: ...*Dodoria*... 121 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:31,900 Kill them. 122 00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:32,440 DODORIA: 'K. 123 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:36,920 TYPICAL HERO: Come on, bring it! There’s three of us, and one of you! 124 00:04:37,140 --> 00:04:40,340 DODORIA: Man~, you must suck at math even worse than me. 125 00:04:40,540 --> 00:04:41,360 TYPICAL HERO: What do you mean? 126 00:04:41,660 --> 00:04:43,660 DODORIA: There’s only TWO of you. 127 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:44,920 TYPICAL HERO: That’s not right-- 128 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:46,500 GAAAAAaah! [It is now :P] 129 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,440 [Light, whimsical music] 130 00:04:51,420 --> 00:04:53,900 PANCHY: Goku! It’s been too long! 131 00:04:54,020 --> 00:04:55,120 GOKU: Hi there, Mrs. Briefs! 132 00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:58,540 PANCHY: Oh Goku, you can call me what everyone else calls me. 133 00:04:58,540 --> 00:04:59,240 GOKU: What's that? 134 00:04:59,580 --> 00:05:00,140 PANCHY: "MILF". 135 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:04,300 I have no idea what it means, but it’s just the cutest little name! (You should better search the meaning) 136 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:08,300 DR. BRIEFS: Well, you are quite the MILF, honey. (He's probably the one who started it) Now what are you doing out of the kitchen? 137 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,040 MILF: Oh! My mistake! 138 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:12,420 DR. BRIEFS: Remember what I told you, sweetie: 139 00:05:12,420 --> 00:05:16,420 DR. BRIEFS: "Wives are for kissing, not talking!" (Laughs) MILF: "Wives are for kissing, not talking!" (Laughs) 140 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,280 Have fun, you two! 141 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,280 GOKU: Wow, is this the ship? 142 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:25,100 DR. BRIEFS: Well, Bulma told me to start on it while you were in the hospital... in case anything went wrong. 143 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:25,780 GOKU: Krillin? 144 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:26,500 DR. BRIEFS: Krillin. (Of course Krillin) 145 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,720 The good thing is it’s almost all done. 146 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,980 GOKU: Wow! This is just the best day ever! 147 00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:32,600 [Light, whimsical music ends in 3] GOKU: Wow! This is just the best day ever! 148 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,140 [Light, whimsical music ends in 2] GOKU: Wow! This is just the best day ever! 149 00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:33,680 [Light, whimsical music ends in 1] GOKU: Wow! This is just the best day ever! 150 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:34,380 {BAM} [Pest control in action] 151 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:35,140 MOURI: Eugh! 152 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,660 DODORIA: Whoops. Looks like I miscounted. 153 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:40,840 I must be havin’ an off day. 154 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,960 FREEZA: Bravo, Dodoria! 155 00:05:43,220 --> 00:05:46,880 Now, seeing as we have no one left to threaten you with… 156 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,720 [Young Namekians whimper] Oh, wait, what are those *adorable* little things over there? 157 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,540 Oh, wait, what are those *adorable* little things over there? 158 00:05:50,820 --> 00:05:52,060 MOURI: You wouldn’t...! (Oh he would) 159 00:05:52,300 --> 00:05:54,620 FREEZA: They’re just so cute, though! 160 00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:58,580 I could just pinch their little heads off! [Literally pinch them off] 161 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:03,460 Are you going to make me do that? Because at this point, I could go both ways. 162 00:06:03,460 --> 00:06:05,440 ZARBON: As could I, Lord Freeza. 163 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,940 MOURI: Fine. Here. Take the Ball! And leave us be. 164 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:15,040 KRILLIN: See, Gohan? He’s handing over the Dragon Ball. Now no one else has to die. 165 00:06:15,380 --> 00:06:17,700 FREEZA: Oh, just one more question: 166 00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:22,680 Could you point us in the direction of the next village? You seem to have destroyed our Scouters. 167 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:24,460 MOURI: That wasn’t part of our deal! 168 00:06:24,460 --> 00:06:26,400 FREEZA: Annnd five hundred! 169 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,260 Dodoria, show them what they’ve won! 170 00:06:28,260 --> 00:06:28,760 MOURI: Uh! 171 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:29,260 DODORIA: BLUH! 172 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:30,480 {BOOM} [Cargo destroyed] 173 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:31,080 {DUN} [You were saying, Krillin?] 174 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:31,660 {DUN DUN} [You were saying, Krillin?] 175 00:06:31,660 --> 00:06:32,240 {DUN DUN DUN} [You were saying, Krillin?] 176 00:06:32,700 --> 00:06:34,720 YOUNG POSSIBLY BISEXUAL NAMEKIAN: Ah! (Whimpers) 177 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,800 GOHAN: Krillin! He’s *killing* them! 178 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,800 KRILLIN: Happy thoughts, Gohan! Happy thoughts! [Dammit Krillin] 179 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,540 MOURI: You… You killed my son! 180 00:06:41,660 --> 00:06:45,220 DODORIA: Yeah, sorreh 'bout that. How ‘bout I do you a favor? 181 00:06:45,380 --> 00:06:45,880 {PEW} 182 00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:46,940 MOURI: Huuh...? 183 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:48,260 {SNAK} Ugh--! 184 00:06:48,260 --> 00:06:48,860 [Thud] 185 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,320 DODORIA: There. Now ya won’t miss him. [How nice of him] 186 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:52,620 GOHAN: Nnnngh! 187 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:53,880 FREEZA: Oh, and while you’re at it, could you deal with the rest? 188 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,440 [Young Namekian yells in fright] FREEZA: Oh, and while you’re at it, could you deal with the rest? 189 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:56,800 FUTURE SUPER KAMI: Uh! 190 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,260 GOHAN: (Grunts of suppressed rage) 191 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:02,540 DODORIA: I really do love kids. They don’t leave much of a mess. 192 00:07:03,020 --> 00:07:04,120 KRILLIN: Breathe, Gohan! You’re a leaf! A leaf in a calm stream! 193 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,120 GOHAN: (Grunts of suppressed rage) KRILLIN: Breathe, Gohan! You’re a leaf! A leaf in a calm stream! 194 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:07,440 GOHAN: F**K THE STREAM! 195 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:09,000 DODORIA: The Hell was-- 196 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:09,500 HURGH! 197 00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:13,540 Did I just get hit by a bowl cut? 198 00:07:13,820 --> 00:07:14,320 HURGH! 199 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:15,780 SPACE DUCK: Quack! 200 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,140 FREEZA: Zarbon… what the Hell was that? 201 00:07:22,140 --> 00:07:24,700 ZARBON: I believe that was the space duck, sir. 202 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,700 GOKU: This ship is awesome! 203 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,500 Now, where’s that button that makes blueberry muffins? [Wait, what?] 204 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,920 DR. BRIEFS: There is no button like that. I never even considered that. [its built in] 205 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:41,680 GOKU: Are you sure? It’d be really nice to wake up in the morning, push a button, and have muffins. 206 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,540 That’d be great... 207 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:44,840 wink, wink. 208 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,460 DR. BRIEFS: Dammit, there is no Muffin Button! [yes there is] 209 00:07:46,460 --> 00:07:50,140 GOKU: Darn. So, is it ready to take off then, Dr. Briefs? 210 00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:53,780 DR. BRIEFS: Goodness, no! I still have to install the cappuccino machine! 211 00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:56,360 GOKU: But… But I don’t even drink coffee! 212 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,820 DR. BRIEFS: It’s not coffee, Goku, it’s cappuccino! ( Sooooooooo, no coffee?) 213 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,900 Now stay here; I need to grab the parts from my shop. 214 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:07,060 Make sure not to touch anything - like the *gravity controls*... 215 00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:08,780 or the *Start Button*. 216 00:08:09,860 --> 00:08:11,480 *The Start Button*. 217 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,700 *Don’t touch*... 218 00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:16,000 ...*the Start Button*. 219 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:17,800 Now I’ll be right back. [enjoy banging your head on a brick wall] 220 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:18,840 GOKU: Okey-Dokey. [What could possibly go wrong] 221 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:21,740 I wonder if this is the button... 222 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:22,700 {BEEP} I wonder if this is the button... (Of course he does it) 223 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:26,020 [Ship launch] Wheeeeeeeeee...! 224 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:30,760 DR. BRIEFS: No! Goku! He’s blasted himself off into space! 225 00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:34,160 [Dramatic sting] What has science dooone?! 226 00:08:35,580 --> 00:08:38,160 Sweetie, I do not see a sandwich with that beer. 227 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,800 [♫ Closing theme (DBZ intermission) ♫] 228 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,720 {Captions by PyroAvok} 229 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,480 [Craft whooshing] 230 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:48,840 GOKU: Mmmm, those muffins smell like they’re almost done!