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[Disclaimer read by Widow's Peak]

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[WARNING: These subtitles contain added awesomeness.
If you want the clean captions, please select the English option. Ta-ta~]

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KRILLIN: Wow... you really took care of that guy.

4
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VEGETA: Yeah. Didn't even know I could pull it off.

5
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But, you know us Saiyans:

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We get stronger *every* time we almost die.

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KRILLIN: Well, that seems... incredibly unfair.

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So, umm... you seem like a busy man, so--

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VEGETA: Oh yeah, killing people.
And I'm about to become immortal.

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KRILLIN: Well, we don't want to keep ya,
so I guess we'll be seeing ya.

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VEGETA: Yup, and I still got a lot to take care of, and I--

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Ohohohoho, oh, wait a minute, nice try...

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Give me the Dragon Ball.

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KRILLIN: Aww...

15
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VEGETA: You know, I could kill both of you right now,
[But you'd lose your baby mama.]

16
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but after killing Zarbon and getting this last Dragon Ball,

17
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I'm in a good mood.

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I mean, a REALLY good mood.

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But just remember this:

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Next time you see me, I WILL be immortal.

21
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Not that you stood a chance to begin with; I'm just...

22
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sayin'.
[YES YOU ARE]

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[Uproarious laugh track]

24
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Wakka wakka!

25
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{PCHOOOOO}

26
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[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]

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♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫

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♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫
(With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)

29
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♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫
(Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)

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♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫

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BULMA: Well, congratulations.
You’ve single-handedly doomed us all.

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KRILLIN: I didn’t see YOU do anything.

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BULMA: What exactly did you expect me to do?
[Banged him?]

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KRILLIN: I dunno, maybe you coulda
*bitched* at him, how 'bout that?

35
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That’s all you appear to be good for these days, huh?

36
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Used your Bitch Fu on him?

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Bulma, the Mistress of *Bitching*,
that’s what they should call you!

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[♫ Parody of “Don’t Stop Me Now” ♫]

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VEGETA & GOHAN: ♫ Don’t stop me now ♫

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♫ I'm havin’ such a good time ♫

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♫ I’m holdin’ this ball ♫

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♫ Don’t stop me now ♫

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[Needle scratch]

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What the...!?

45
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GOHAN: That’s Vegeta!

46
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'Uh... I know - if I just hide here and lower my power level,'

47
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'he shouldn’t find me!'

48
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VEGETA: Okay, what the hell is going on?

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I know I just sensed something down there.

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GOHAN: 'Good! Now just go on, and--'

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VEGETA: Hey! Show yourself before I
turn this place into a barren wasteland!

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So basically the same, only on fire.

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GOHAN: 'Crapbaskets!'

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VEGETA: THREE.....

55
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VEGETA: THREE.....TWO.....

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VEGETA: THREE.....TWO.....ONE....

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GOHAN: Hi! Um... hello, Mister... Vegeta... Sir.

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Mister VEGETA Sir: Well, if it isn’t Moe Howard.

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MOE HOWARD: How do you even--?

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VEGETA: Space Hulu.

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MOE HOWARD: Figures.

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VEGETA: So what are you doing here?

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GOHAN: Oh, you know - just flyin’ around.

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VEGETA: Flyin' around?

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GOHAN: Flyin' around.

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VEGETA: Thwartin' mah plans?

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GOHAN: Thwarting your plans?

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VEGETA: Are you?

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GOHAN: No.

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VEGETA: Good, ‘cause that’d be bad.

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GOHAN: How bad?

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VEGETA: I’d have to kill you.

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GOHAN: That’s bad.

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VEGETA: Indeed. Stupid-looking watch you got there.

75
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GOHAN: Yes; it tells time... and nothing else.

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VEGETA: Well, yeah, that’s what a watch DOES... dumbass.

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DUMBASS: So, uh, can I... help you?

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VEGETA: No... but maybe I can help you. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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GOHAN: Uh! I need an adult!

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ADULT: I am an adult. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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GOHAN: UNNGH! UWEHH!

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PEDO OF ALL SAIYANS: By the way, I only hit you because
I have pent-up aggression against your father.

83
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Take that.
[Thanks for the heads up.]

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{PCHOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo}

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GOHAN: 'Don’t... stop me now...'

86
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'I don’t... wanna... stop at... allllll--'

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Egh! Uwehh!

88
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KRILLIN: Seriously.

89
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Five ancient sages of bitchdom all gathered together
one day on the peaks of Mount Bitch to proclaim your birth.

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And a hundred years later,
when all the *bitch* stars had aligned,

91
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you were born and made everybody’s
life around you a living hell

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because YOU

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because YOU ARE SUCH

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because YOU ARE SUCH A *BITCH*!!!

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Uhh...

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QUEEN BITCH: You done?

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QUEEN'S BITCH: Yeah... yeah, I guess.

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QUEEN BITCH: Good.

99
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{SMACK}
QUEEN'S BITCH: Ow!

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GOHAN: Guys!

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KRILLIN: Gohan!

102
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GOHAN: You guys... I think we should find a new location.

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KRILLIN: Why? What’s wrong with this place?

104
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GOHAN: Because we have 10 minutes before
Vegeta finds out that I just stole this.

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KRILLIN: Uh--...! Uh...!  Aah...!

106
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[Swan dive!]

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VEGETA: 'God, I love it when a plan comes together!'

108
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'Took some time, effort and lots
of bodies, but now it’s mine.'
[And at least 3 aneurysms.]

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'Immortality is my BITCH!'

110
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'Now, it should be right here.'

111
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'Riiight here...'

112
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'Where the hell is it?'

113
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'It couldn’t have gone anywhere...'

114
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'Alright - I’m going to close my eyes, and when
I open them up, it’s going to be right here--'

115
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'it's not here.'

116
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'Why isn't it here?! I don't get it! Who could've--'

117
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!

118
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'The kid! But... how could he have found it?! He would...'

119
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'wait... that watch...'

120
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'that watch was no watch at all!'

121
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'It was some kind of Dragon Ball locator!'

122
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'Which means...'

123
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'Which means... *which means*...!'

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{DING}

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GHOST NAPPA [deadpan]: He tooook the Dragon Ball...

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[Vegeta begins screaming in rage]

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{BOOM}
VEGETA: AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGH...!!!

128
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VEGETA: AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGH...!!!

129
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GOHAN: Uh, Krillin... do you hear that?

130
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KRILLIN: I *feel* that.

131
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FREEZA: What the devil is that noise?

132
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GOKU: Ah, time for a delicious sports drink--

133
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huh? What the heck is that?
[Vegeta's rage breaks the laws of space...]

134
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[Background talking]

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KING YEMMA: Purgatory, Hell...

136
00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:24,220
Denise... Denise, do you hear that...?
[...the boundaries between life and death...]

137
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Oh God, is that my wife?!

138
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LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU ALREADY TOOK
THE KIDS, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!
[the Mahogany desk]

139
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[Sounds of emergency sirens and burning buildings]

140
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TRUNKS: Alright, Mom. Once that Time Machine is done,
I can go back into the past, to save Goku and my father--

141
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[Who is STILL screaming - from a different TIMELINE.]
[How the hell did his vocal cords not rupture?!]

142
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...Daddy?
[...and time itself.]

143
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KRILLIN: Alright... I don't think Vegeta will find us here.

144
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Gohan, I need to get you to Guru's!

145
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GOHAN: What? Why?

146
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KRILLIN: So the old man can touch you and
pull things out of you that you never knew you had!
[*Really* should've worded that better.]

147
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GOHAN: ...I need an adult?

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ADULT#2: I am an adult.

149
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BULMA: Oh no, no no *no*!
I am not letting you abandon me here again!

150
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Those bitches on Lifetime might
put up with it, but not me!

151
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KRILLIN: Bulma, you're right. You have been
*very* helpful and *very* patient with us.

152
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So, in return...

153
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we're letting you watch the Dragon Ball. Bye!

154
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BULMA: I WILL KILL YOU BOTH IN YOUR SLEEP!
[And then Chi Chi would kill you.]

155
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[Ominous music]

156
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FREEZA: 'As soon as the Ginyu Force arrives,
all of my problems will officially be over.'

157
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'Soon, immortality will be mine and the 
entire Universe will be under my foot!'
[It isn't already?]

158
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'Oh, I wonder what I should do first? I guess I should start with what I *won't* do when I become immortal:'

159
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'*Die*!' >:)
[good idea]

160
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ACAI: Lord Freeza! The Ginyu Force
is scheduled to arrive in five minutes!

161
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FREEZA: Thank you, Acai.

162
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ACAI: Also, after rising concerns with our personnel... exploding...

163
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we decided to form a union!

164
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FREEZA: ...Adorable.

165
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[Acai is vaporized] [Should probably change that to spontaneously combusting]
ACAI: RRRAAGGGH!
[Well, vaporizing isn't technically exploding.]

166
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FREEZA: 'Oh! First thing I'm going to do is go up to Cooler and slap him right in his smug, prick *face*!'

167
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GOHAN: Hey, Krillin!

168
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KRILLIN: That's it! We're going to make it!

169
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We're finally gonna--

170
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{SCREECH}

171
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...die! We are going to die!

172
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GOHAN: Krillin, what is *that*?

173
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KRILLIN: Pure rage, Gohan. Pure rage.

174
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GOHAN: What do we do?

175
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KRILLIN: Run, Gohan. Run as fast as you can.

176
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GOHAN: But I--
KRILLIN: Do as I say, for I am the Heavenly Buddha!

177
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GOHAN: ...Wha--?
HEAVENLY BUDDHA: Just go!

178
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NAIL: Guru, sir, we have another traveller from Earth.

179
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GURU: Oh, tell me you didn't let him inside--!

180
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GOHAN: Hello, Mr. Guru!

181
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GURU: Oh, goddammit!

182
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:39,380
GOHAN: Mr. Guru, sir, my friend Krillin told
me that you could help us by... touching me.

183
00:07:39,380 --> 00:07:41,600
GURU: Do I look Catholic to you?
[Ouch]

184
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,940
NAIL: Sir, I think he means he wants
you to release his hidden potential.

185
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GOHAN: Yeah, that.

186
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GURU: Fine, stand still.
It's your first time so I'll be gentle.

187
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Now relax as I reach deep inside you and grab hold of your essence.
[Does Namek just make you lose all filters between your mouth and brain?]

188
00:07:58,180 --> 00:07:59,920
GOHAN: I need an adult...?

189
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,720
[Gohan powers up]
ADULT#3: I AM AN ADUUUUULLLLL--!!

190
00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,820
KRILLIN: Huh, that's odd. I don't feel anything anymore.

191
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:08,960
I wonder if we lost him--

192
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,180
[Sinister music]
BROKEN VEGETA: I am here for it...

193
00:08:12,180 --> 00:08:12,920
KRILLIN: For what?

194
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:13,960
BROKEN VEGETA: Dragon. Ball.

195
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,520
BROKEN VEGETA: Dragon. Ball. I. Need. That Dragon Ball.

196
00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:17,780
BROKEN VEGETA: Dragon. Ball. I. Need. That Dragon Ball.
Give it to me.

197
00:08:17,780 --> 00:08:18,840
BROKEN VEGETA: Dragon. Ball. I. Need. That Dragon Ball.
Give it to me. The one you took.

198
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,440
BROKEN VEGETA: Dragon. Ball. I. Need. That Dragon Ball.
Give it to me. The one you took. I need my wish...

199
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:22,180
KRILLIN: Are... you OK?

200
00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:23,880
GHOST NAPPA: I think your rage broke, Vegeta.

201
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,220
BROKEN VEGETA: SHUT UP, GHOST OF NAPPA!

202
00:08:25,220 --> 00:08:25,980
KRILLIN: Who was that?

203
00:08:25,980 --> 00:08:26,740
BROKEN VEGETA: I'm not crazy!

204
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BROKEN VEGETA: I'm not crazy!
*You're* crazy!

205
00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:29,220
"Not" Crazy: I'm not crazy!
*You're* crazy!
*Especially* you, Nappa!

206
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GHOST NAPPA: Eeeeey.

207
00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:31,020
KRILLIN: Who are you talking to--?

208
00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:33,420
BROKEN VEGETA: Dragon Ball!
Hand now, please!

209
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KRILLIN: Ummm... I don't... really... have it.

210
00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:37,960
 

211
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VEGETA: No...

212
00:08:38,820 --> 00:08:39,440
KRILLIN: What?

213
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:40,360
VEGETA: nooo...

214
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:41,120
KRILLIN: Uhhh...

215
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,480
DEMON VEGETA: nooooo...!

216
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,380
KRILLIN: uhhh...!

217
00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:44,420
{SNAP}
[Sinister music ends]

218
00:08:44,420 --> 00:08:46,300
[Vegeta breaks out of his rage]
VEGETA: How? Wait, what? Where am I?

219
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:48,580
Why are you here? Where's Nappa?

220
00:08:48,580 --> 00:08:49,500
KRILLIN: Didn't you kill him?

221
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:52,620
VEGETA: Yes! Of course I did!
He's dead...

222
00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:53,880
VEGETA: Yes! Of course I did!
He's dead... forever.

223
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:54,960
KRILLIN: So, uh--

224
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,880
VEGETA: Where's that immense power coming from?

225
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,280
KRILLIN: Oh-that's-probably-Gohan-over-in-the
hut-where-the-creator-of-the-Dragon-Balls-is

226
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,460
You-know-the-guy-who-can-unlock-your-potential
by-putting-his-hand-on-top-of-your-head--

227
00:09:01,460 --> 00:09:04,260
oh God, I cannot shut up when I am scared...

228
00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:07,840
VEGETA: Interesting! I'm gonna go pay him a... whaddya call it?

229
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:08,400
KRILLIN: A visit?

230
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,060
VEGETA: Beating! That's it... I'm gonna go pay him a beating.

231
00:09:11,060 --> 00:09:13,180
KRILLIN: Ah! Crapbaskets. [Oh, you say that too.]

232
00:09:14,980 --> 00:09:17,780
NAIL: Hello? Can I help you with something?

233
00:09:17,780 --> 00:09:20,700
VEGETA: Yeah, the first thing you can
do is go die; save me the trouble.

234
00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:24,200
NAIL: Ooh! Ooh, is this really happening?
'Cause I really hope it is.

235
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:27,460
VEGETA: Ohoho, trust me, you don't
want any of what I am right now.

236
00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:31,100
NAIL: Then come on, bring all four feet of you.
Or should I count your stupid hair?
[That's not nice. He's at least 4 and a half feet tall.]

237
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:33,560
VEGETA: Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal slug.

238
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:36,020
BIPEDAL SLUG: Big talk coming from a bipedal *bitch*.

239
00:09:36,020 --> 00:09:40,920
BIPEDAL BITCH: Ohoho! Oh, I gotta admit, you are the best challenge I've gotten out of your people yet.

240
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,880
Then again, I'll have to compare you to
all those villagers I slaughtered.

241
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:44,860
NAIL: Oh, you are *dead*!

242
00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:45,360
NAIL: Oh, you are *dead*!
GURU: Naaaaail!

243
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,040
GURU: Naaaaail!

244
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:54,100
Stop making out with your boyfriend!
I can hear it from here! It sounds like:

245
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:55,940
[Slurping noises]

246
00:09:55,940 --> 00:09:57,180
NAIL: Thank you, Lord Guru!

247
00:09:57,180 --> 00:10:00,780
NAIL'S BOYFRIEND: I'm not here for any of you idiots anyway.
I'm here for the old man.

248
00:10:00,780 --> 00:10:02,180
GOHAN: Oh no, you don't!

249
00:10:02,180 --> 00:10:06,400
With this power-up, I'm now as strong
as you were when we fought on Earth!

250
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:10,340
VEGETA: Congratulations!
You're still weaker than the last 3 guys I killed.

251
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,800
GOHAN: Wow... I now know what it's like to feel like Krillin.

252
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,000
KRILLIN [off-screen]: Sucks, doesn't it?

253
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,340
VEGETA: Look, it doesn't matter how strong you get, kid.

254
00:10:17,340 --> 00:10:20,920
Besides Freeza, I'm the strongest thing on this planet!

255
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,260
Bar none.

256
00:10:22,260 --> 00:10:25,300
GURU: Heeey! Just thought I would inform you all:

257
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:29,480
I detect several high power levels
coming towaaards the planet...

258
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,600
VEGETA: What?
Several high power levels?

259
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,140
GURU: ...there are five of them in total...

260
00:10:34,140 --> 00:10:35,180
VEGETA: Five of them?!

261
00:10:35,180 --> 00:10:38,780
GURU: ...and they're all increeedibly flamboyant!
[How can you tell from power levels?]

262
00:10:38,780 --> 00:10:40,360
VEGETA: Oh God! It's them!

263
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:41,740
[♫ "Sanjō!! Ginyū Tokusentai!!" ♫]
KRILLIN: What are you talking about?

264
00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:45,420
VEGETA: We're doomed. Don't you understand?
We're all going to die here!

265
00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:47,220
KRILLIN: Who? Who is it?

266
00:10:47,220 --> 00:10:47,740
VEGETA: It's--

267
00:10:47,740 --> 00:10:48,600
{BOOM}
[Music cuts-off]

268
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,740
the Ginyu Force (!)

269
00:10:50,740 --> 00:10:54,100
GINYU FORCE: We're heeere!

270
00:10:55,060 --> 00:10:55,820
JEICE: Mates!

271
00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:59,600
[♫ Closing theme (DBZ intermission) ♫]

272
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:06,540
GOKU: Whew! Alrighty!
Time for a post-workout drink!

273
00:11:07,340 --> 00:11:09,540
Nah! It's too early to get crunk.

274
00:11:10,780 --> 00:11:13,700
Nah! Energy drinks just don't do it for me anymore.

275
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,240
I can't drink these! These are *nuts*!

276
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:24,560
Ooh, what's *this*?
It looks delicious, and it's high in calcium!

277
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:28,960
♪ Doo doo doo doo doo, Team Four Star Soda! ♪
[What about HETAP?]