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[Disclaimer read by Burter]

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[WARNING: These subtitles contain added awesomeness.
If you want the clean captions, please select the English option. Ta-ta~]

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BURTER: YES BEST TIME!

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GOKU: Finally! I'm on Planet Namek. [finally]

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KRILLIN: (In distance, sobbing) HELP UUU-UU-UUS!

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GOKU: So serene.

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KRILLIN: (in distance, wailing even more desperately.) OH GOD HE'S KILLING US! HE-E-ELP!

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GOKU: I think I hear a duck...but this far out in space?
(bemused) That doesn't make any  sense!

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KRILLIN: (in distance) QUAAAACK!

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GOKU: OH NO! That sounds like Krillin!
[Well if all else fails... Quack.]

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I'ma COMIN'!

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[Space Japanese Ginyu Force Theme Opening]

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[Space Japanese Ginyu Force Theme Opening]

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[A guy talking in Japanese about Team Four Star Soda-?]

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[And now they're talking about Spacey's I guess-?? Did someone learn Japanese JUST for the sake of this joke? Cause if so, I'm impressed.]

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FREEZA: I can't believe we came all the way out here and spent a week in the space boonies for NOTHING!!

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Seriously, I'm surprised that we didn't hear banjos on the way in, because everybody's inbred

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AND LOOKS THE F****** SAME!

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Not to mention I lost Dodoria *and* Zarbon

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the latter of whom spent 400 credits making long distance calls to his girlfriend

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WHO I AM CONVINCED IS NAMED *CHUCK!!*

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GINYU: Lord Freeza?

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FREEZA: (PURE RAGE) *WHAT!?*

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GINYU: There may be still be a few holed up somewhere! Perhaps you should check your scouter.

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[PROOOOBABLY should've done that sooner.]

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FREEZA: Well would you look at that. Three in that direction! Good work Ginyu.

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GINYU: All in a day's work, sir.

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(NYOOOOOM!)

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And now...The Dance of Solitude!

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[♪ "Vogue" ♪]

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BURTER: So are we just waiting for this thing or wha-

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JEICE: HOLY DOOLIE!

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BURTER: JESUS, THAT WAS FAST!

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I-I-I mean not as...not as fast as me considering I'm the fastest in the... (Stutters) in the universe...

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...but compared to the average person-!

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JEICE: We get it mate it's cool.

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GOKU: Gohan! (Goku what are you doing)

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HEY GOHAN? (GOKU PLEASE STOP)

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Gohan? (GOKU THAT IS YOUR SON STOP)

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Gohan? (OH GROSS HIS NECK.)

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Maybe he'll wake up if I shake him some more?

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KRILLIN: (Part way mortified at stupidity.) GOKU JUST GIVE HIM A SENZU!

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GOKU: OH, right!
Eat up Gohan!

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RECOOME: (Indignant) HEY! RECOOME WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A MATCH HERE! SO HOW ABOUT YOU-!!

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GOKU: (Emphasized impatience) Sir... I am talking... to my son.

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RECOOME: Oh... Recoome apologizes...
[Awww, what a nice guy...]

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... !!!!! Wait? What am I apologizing for??? RECOOME'S GONNA KILL YOU!!!
[...Or not.]

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(Gohan has returned to Full Health!)

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GOHAN: Dad? DAD! OH MY GOD YOU'RE HERE! I LOVE YOU DAD!

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GOKU: That's right, Gohan.

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[Goddammit Goku...]
 I *am* here!

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Hey Krillin! Ya hanging in there?

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KRILLIN: Oh! I've had worse. You know, when I died...

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This is definitely a close second though....

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RECOOME: (Steadily losing patience.) RECOOME WILL NOT BE IGNORED!!!!

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GOKU: SIR! I AM TRYING TO TALK TO MY FRIENDS!

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Hey Vegeta, we're friends now, right?

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VEGETA: (Succintly) F*** Off.

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GOKU: THE BEST!
Now have a magic bean!

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But make sure you chew it or else you'll grow a beanstalk in your belly!

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KRILLIN: Goku, it was terrible! We landed here,

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and then there were these really strong guys,

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(Increasingly whiny) and there was even more strong guys,

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(Christ Krillin dial it back) AND THEN OUR SHIP BLEW UP,

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(Oh god are you about to start crying?) AND THEN THERE WAS EVEN MORE STR-

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GOKU: Bored now, reading your mind!

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KRILLIN: Wait wha-?

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[Wait...the Idiot Hero can read *minds*?!]

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GOKU: Haha! That thing was a guy!

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KRILLIN: Goku, did you just read my mind...?

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GOKU: Yuh-huh!

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KRILLIN: But how could you...??

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GOKU: (As if that's all that needs explaining.) Muffin Button.

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KRILLIN: ........ What?

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GOKU: Huh?

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RECOOME: THAT'S! IT! RECOOME HAS HAD ENOUGH!!! (Wow, what took you so long.)

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FEEL THE STRENGTH OF THE *REEEEEECOOME..!! ULTRA FIGHTING MIRACLE-*

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GOKU: SIR.

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(THAT MIGHT'VE BEEN WHAT USED TO BE HIS RIB CAGE........)

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(Making himself clear.) I will fight you in a minute.
[Damn, Recoome got jobbed like a bitch.]

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VEGETA: '?????? This... This is impossible-!!!!'

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'Kakarot was nowhere NEAR that same level when we fought on Earth!'

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'The only way he could've obtained this strength is-...'

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... !!!!!!!..NO... IT CANT BE-!!!

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THE LEGEND SAYS IT ONLY HAPPENS EVERY 1,000 YEARS!!

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HAS HE BECOME

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*A SUPER SAIYAN?!?!*

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GOKU: So, anyway Vegeta, what happened to you?

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Did you get beat up by this guy?

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RECOOME: (Gurgling up stuff that needs to stay IN his body.)

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VEGETA: AHH N-NO I UM.... UH-...

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GHOST NAPPA: (Casually offering) You fell down some stairs.

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VEGETA: (Takes offering like a shmuck.) I fell down some stairs.

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KRILLIN: (Forgetting his place.) No ya didn't, you-

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VEGETA: (Putting him back into it.) SHUT UP, BEFORE I THROW YOU DOWN A FLIGHT.

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SK GURU: So Dende... sucks about your family...

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DENDE: We've gone over this.....

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SK GURU: But do you know who also lost his family?

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Batman.

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DENDE: (Steadily losing what little sanity he has left.) I don't know who that is.....

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SK GURU: (Impatiently.) See!? This is why we need T.VEEEEEEE!

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DENDE: WHY?

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SK GURU: (to the Tune of 1960's Batman theme.) NANANANANANANANA DENDE! NANANANANANANANA DENDE! DENDE!

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DENDE: (See's the lost cause.) Guru...

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SK GURU: (Continuing heedless.) Dende!

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DENDE: (Hope is now dead.) Nail's here...

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SK GURU: NAAAAAAAAAAILLLL!

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Why are you back?

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NAIL: I NEVER LEFT SIR......... I was outside HITTING MY HEAD against the WALL for 20 minutes........

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(Nail giving himself a concussion via the wall.)

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SK GURU: (Contemplative) So that's what that was...

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Why have you ignored my order!?

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NAIL: *BECAUSE,* LORD GURU, I CAN'T leave you unguarded no matter-

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(Spits on Nail)

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SK GURU: CLEAN THAT UP!!

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JEICE: WHAT THE BLEEDIN' 'ELL-?!?

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WE WERE HAVIN' A RIGHT RIP SNORTER 'ERE,

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AND THEN THIS PIKER SHOWS UP,

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And, just like that, IT'S GOOD NIGHT IRENE!!!

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KRILLIN: (Background.) We get it, you're from *Space Australlia!!!*

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BURTER: He's making fools out of us, Jeice!

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JEICE: You're bloomin' right he is!

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We'd better bust out our special technique!!

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JEICE: SEIZURE PROCEDURE!!!
BURTER: SEIZURE PROCEDURE!!!

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[♪ "Sandstorm" ♪]

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GOHAN: Krillin! What ever you do... DON'T LOOK DIRECTLY AT IT.

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Krillin?

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KRILLIN: (Seizure induced gurgling... What a shmuck. Cue up the owned count!)

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JEICE: NO WAY!! NO ONE RESISTS THE SEIZURE PROCEDURE!

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BURTER: PLAN B!

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JEICE: Alright you bastard!! Prepare to feel the wrath of the Ginyu-

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(THWACK) GUOGH-!!! [1]

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DAAUGH!!!! YOU GODDAMN WANKER!

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YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE-

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(SLUGGED) OGH-!!!! [2]

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DAUGH-!!! YOU DID IT AGAIN!

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D- (STAR PUNCH) AGH-!!! [3]

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STOP IT STOP I- (JABBED)

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(Aren't you getting tired of being punched?) KK-!! PIIIISS!! [4]

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'AUUGH, WHAT DID THE CAP'N TELL US TO DO IN THIS SITUATION!?!?'

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GINYU: (Memory) Jeice, if you ever find yourself being punched repeatedly in the face, always remember to-

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(THAT'S NOT BOXING, BITE HIS EAR!) [5]

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JEICE: (Present) OHH OWW! HE CUT OFF THE CAP'N!!!

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GOKU: (Rightfully confused, boy those times are rare...) So... are you gonna *dodge* any of these?

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JEICE: OHHHH! (...... You're only realizing that NOW?) THAT'S what the Captain-

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(You kinda deserved THAT one ya Dope.) [Half a dozen]

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BURTER!!!! SUPPORT!!!!!!

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BURTER: Well you've got very nice hair, you're a beautiful shade of red,

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and honestly? You're the only guy I can rely on on this team.

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JEICE: *I MEANT PUNCH HIM, YA DAFT BASTARD!!!!!* UGH-!!!

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(Deep breath) Oh, but, thanks ya know-? Th-that really cheered me-

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(Okay, THAT ONE was your OWN fault.) OHH, GOD I THINK HE BROKE SOMETHING THAT TIME!!!!
[7]

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(Play - MC Hammer's 'U Can't Touch This.)

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GOKU: Goku Time!

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JEICE: Alright, this is just Bloody Stupid!

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BURTER: Calm Down! We got to come up with a plan;

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Listen, if you use your Crusher Ball on him, I can rush him the moment he tries to dodge.

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He may be fast, but he's not faster than the fastest guy in the universe!

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JEICE: OK. Mate, we need to talk...

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About this whole.... "Fastest in the Universe" thing....

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First off, the Captain's got a higher power level than you.

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BURTER: (Not catching hint.) Yeah, so?

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JEICE: Well then, correct me if I'm wrong,

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But a higher power level means he's faster yeah? (Technically-? Not always the case but sometimes it is.)

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BURTER: Well, okay maybe... (-_-)

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JEICE: And Lord Freeza's got a higher power level than all of us....

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[Yeah, it's not fair to compare pawns to a King.]
BURTER: OK, that's just not fair-!

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JEICE: AND, if you think about it, Guldo can stop time! (OOOOOOOH! GOOD POINT!)

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So that technically makes him faster then-

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BURTER: **NO! NO! NO, OKAY?!?! I am not..!! Slower..!! Than F******* GULDO!!!!**

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JEICE: (O_O) Burter, calm down-!!

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BURTER: NO! SHUT UP!! YOU SHUT YOUR *STUPID RED FACE!!!*

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(mockingly) "Oh don't worry MATE, you're just SLOWER than *GULDO!*"

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GOKU: (Thinking, the Ginyu's conversation not even heeded.) I wonder if there is a Denny's on this planet...

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[(facepalms abound.)]
(Thinking) I could really go for a Grand Slam!

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BURTER: - WHAT IT'S LIKE-!! Everyone has something special! I don't!

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What AM I?! The big blue snake guy!! That's all I've got!!
[Well some people might *like* that...]

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THAT'S ALL I'VE GO-OO-OOOT!!!! (Starts sobbing)

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JEICE: Geez, mate... I'm-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...

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BURTER: I just-I just want to be special!

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Something to call my own you know?

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JEICE: Mate mate, you DO got something special!

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(Sincerely) You're me mate.

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[AWWW~]
BURTER: (Touched) Aww dude!

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JEICE: NO! NO! REALLY!!

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Remember when I had to move me piano into me flat?

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And Recoome was too busy with his match? And Guldo...

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(Snide) well, he was Guldo,

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BUT YOU! YOU got those Ivory keys up those five flights in no time at all!

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You're me best mate!

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BURTER: (Sincerely) Thanks Jeice! You're my best friend too!

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You know? After all of this is over,

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What do you say we head off to Spacey's and just... Have a good old time?

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JEICE: Sounds Good mate!

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BURTER: But remember! You still owe me that space soda!

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JEICE: HAHA! You're right I do!

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Now! Let's go show that bloke what for-

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BURTER: GAH!

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(And his last words were literally about one of their bets. Kinda sad honestly.)
[Goku: Master in mood killing.]

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GOKU: Say, do you know where there's

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Jeice: (Reviling in horror.) AH-...!!! AH-....!!!
GOKU: Say, do you know where there's a Denny's around here?

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JEICE: BURTER-!!!!!!!! NOOOO!!!!!!!!!

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[GOD... DAMMIT... GOKU.....]
GOKU: (Clueless as always) Butter~!! That'll go GREAT on my Grand Slam~!

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JEICE: (Devastated) YOU JUST KILLED ME BEST MATE-!!!

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I'M-I'M GONNA GET THE CAP'N,

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*AND HE'S GONNA BEAT YOU UP!!!!*

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(Crying) CAAAAPTAAAAAAAIN-!!!!!!!!!!

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GOKU: .... Well that was fun.

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Now where are the fighters?

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(ONLY GOKU....) I really wanna deck that Freezer guy~!

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VEGETA: YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING.

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"THIS" IS A **SUPER SAIYAN-??**

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GOKU: A Super wha-?

214
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:01,920
VEGETA: NOTHING JUST........

215
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:03,740
(Disbelief) Lamenting my crushed dreams.........

216
00:09:03,740 --> 00:09:06,300
KRILLIN: (Likely almost terrified.) GOKU!! I can't believe you're so strong-!!!

217
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:09,500
GOKU: Well, I DID train at 100 times Normal Gravity.

218
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:10,280
[Vegeta: (Mentally) '..... *WHAT-??!?!?!?!?!?!?*'

219
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,580
VEGETA: F*************!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KRILLIN: Man no WONDER you killed them so easily!!

220
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:14,100
CK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

221
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,700
GOKU: (offscreen, reprimandingly) Krillin!! I'm not gonna kill them,

222
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:18,620
[Insert Mass Effect Joke here]
They're hardly even a threat!

223
00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:24,340
(Vegeta being Awesome.)

224
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:28,120
GOKU: VEGETA-! That was NOT very Paragon!

225
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,180
(spits out of spite)

226
00:09:29,180 --> 00:09:30,440
VEGETA: *RENEGADE FOR LIFE.*

227
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:33,460
[Japanese Ginyu theme plays]

228
00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:35,160
VEGETA: You think that's bad?

229
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,480
Seriously - if you hit him hard enough, you can play a song.

230
00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:42,780
[ - Play Korobeiniki, the signature theme from WHICH game?]

231
00:09:42,940 --> 00:09:45,200
VEGETA: (Laughing) I don't even know what that's from!

232
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:46,680
[Correct! See Krillin? You CAN be smart when you try.]
KRILLIN: I think that was Tetris.

233
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:49,180
[Other parties meanwhile.............]
VEGETA: Isn’t that what you get when you cut yourself with something rusty?

234
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,700
GOKU: Nope! That's Rabies!

235
00:09:50,980 --> 00:09:55,020
GOHAN: (NEEEEERRRRD) Actually, Dad, you contract rabies when you’re bitten by an animal with a disease.

236
00:09:55,340 --> 00:10:01,400
GOKU: Silly Gohan! Animals don’t eat people, people eat animals!

237
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,020
Silly Gohan!