1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,000 [Disclaimer read by Dende] 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,540 [WARNING: These subtitles contain added awesomeness. If you want the clean captions, please select the English option. Ta-ta~] 3 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:14,280 FREEZA: To think your race had the ability to produce such capable fighters... 4 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,740 I'm surprised I hadn't destroyed you sooner. 5 00:00:16,740 --> 00:00:19,960 CAPABLE FIGHTER: And to think *your* race has the ability to produce such whiny bitches. 6 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,520 *I'm* surprised anyone can take you seriously. 7 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:23,700 WHINY BITCH: D'aah-augh! 8 00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:25,680 VEGETA: Wait a damn minute, something's wrong here... 9 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:26,220 GOHAN: Huh? 10 00:00:26,220 --> 00:00:31,700 VEGETA: Back on your planet, the Namek couldn't even stand up to Nappa; yet here he is now taking on Freeza... 11 00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:33,120 *in his second form*! 12 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,440 GOHAN: What do you think happened? 13 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:38,200 VEGETA: Well, either Freeza hit me so hard I'm in a delusional coma, or... 14 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:38,720 GOHAN: Or? 15 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:40,380 VEGETA: POWER LEVELS ARE BULLS***! [Took him long enough to figure that out.] 16 00:00:40,380 --> 00:00:42,160 [♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫] 17 00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:45,040 ♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫ 18 00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:49,360 ♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z) 19 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:52,640 ♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~) 20 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,640 ♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫ 21 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,840 PICCOLO: Aaaaaahhhrgh! 22 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:05,680 NAIL: 'Wow, you're really kicking his ass!' 23 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:06,740 PICCOLO: 'Oh, you're still here...' 24 00:01:06,740 --> 00:01:11,080 NAIL: 'Yeah, I've just been watching you knock this guy around. Kind of bored, wishing I had something to do...' 25 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:12,140 'You got any ideas?' 26 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:13,800 PICCOLO: 'Now is NOT the time!' [Since when does he have laser eyes?] 27 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:14,300 FREEZA: D'ergh! 28 00:01:14,940 --> 00:01:15,520 D'augh! 29 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,240 GOHAN: Piccolo's actually standing up to him, Krillin! 30 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:20,620 KRILLIN: I don't believe it! We may actually win! [You probably jinxed it just now] 31 00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:21,940 VEGETA: Yeah, that's just, uh... 32 00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:26,120 great, if you'll excuse me though, I've a... got a... 33 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:27,720 Bye. [COWARD!] 34 00:01:28,780 --> 00:01:29,900 FREEZA: 'Oh, for the love of...' 35 00:01:29,900 --> 00:01:30,900 PICCOLO: Aaaaaaaaaaaahhh! 36 00:01:30,900 --> 00:01:31,400 FREEZA: Time out! 37 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:31,960 PICCOLO: D'agh--! 38 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:33,080 Huh? 39 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,520 FREEZA: Would you hold on for a moment, please? I'll be right back. 40 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:40,720 VEGETA: 'All right, I just gotta find one of the Ginyu ships, and get the hell out of here.' [Not with Freeza chasing you.] 41 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:46,080 'I'll just go to Freeza Planet 419. No one ever goes to Freeza Planet 419.' 42 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,740 'Not since its species miraculously repopulated...' 43 00:01:48,940 --> 00:01:50,240 [Random prophecies by Kanassans ⬇] I CAN SEE THE FUTURE! 44 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,640 BULMA AND VEGETA HAVE A KID! 45 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:52,980 THE REAL BUU IS A CHILD! 46 00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,420 CELL REACHES HIS PERFECT FORM! 47 00:01:54,420 --> 00:01:56,280 GOTEN AND TRUNKS BECOME A GUY! 48 00:01:56,280 --> 00:02:00,040 GOHAN IS THE STRONGEST IN THE UNIVERSE BUT STILL DOESN'T DO CRAAAP! [NOT HIS FAULT!] 49 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:01,880 VEGETA: Ga-hah!! 50 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,800 FREEZA: So Vegeta, where are you going? 51 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:07,300 VEGETA: Oh, you know... places... 52 00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:09,520 FREEZA: "Places", hmm? Like that mountain over there? 53 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,140 VEGETA: Actually, that looks more like a plat-- 54 00:02:11,140 --> 00:02:12,620 EAAAAAUUUUUUU--!! [NERRRRRRD!!] 55 00:02:12,620 --> 00:02:14,620 [Still want to disagree with him?] 56 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,040 FREEZA: Sorry about that. Where were we? [In an epic battle.] 57 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:21,820 PICCOLO: Last time I checked, I was planting my foot firmly somewhere between your glebork and squedlispooch. 58 00:02:21,820 --> 00:02:26,680 FREEZA: An admirable feat for a low-life such as yourself. I have a question for you, though... 59 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,380 PICCOLO: What's that? 60 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,360 FREEZA: Die. 61 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,480 PICCOLO: That's... not... a question-- 62 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:32,420 FREEZA: Rreugh! PICCOLO: Aaaaaahhg! 63 00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:36,700 FREEZA: That's because I don't do requests. [So no Careless Whisper, then] 64 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,940 VEGETA [snarky]: Well that didn't last real f***ing long... 65 00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:44,600 FREEZA: Oh, come on now, that was just a love tap. [Freeza can feel romance?] 66 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,380 PICCOLO: Don't think you have the upper hand yet. I'm still wearing weighted armor! 67 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:51,380 [Neck cracking sound] 68 00:02:51,540 --> 00:02:54,580 KRILLIN: Aw man, that sounded good! Now I have to do my neck! [Don't do it Krillin] 69 00:02:54,580 --> 00:02:55,080 {THWACK} [I warned you] 70 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:56,660 HUUUUOOHGH MY NECK! [I warned you] 71 00:02:56,660 --> 00:02:57,160 {DING} [I feel sorry for Krillin] 72 00:02:57,640 --> 00:03:01,460 FREEZA: Weighted armor, how quaint... And how much does it weigh? 73 00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:03,020 PICCOLO: Same as it always does: 74 00:03:03,020 --> 00:03:04,820 100 kilo--! 75 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:06,260 ...Oh. 76 00:03:06,260 --> 00:03:08,160 FREEZA: That's just *cute*! 77 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,220 PICCOLO: That... concept just sort of lost meaning after a while, didn't it? 78 00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:15,940 FREEZA: True... but I have one that's nice, fresh and ripe for abuse: [Transformation.] 79 00:03:15,940 --> 00:03:17,580 Transformation! [Exactly.] 80 00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:21,620 And spoiler warning - it's not getting old any time soon. [No kidding, almost everyone uses it later in the series.] 81 00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:23,040 PICCOLO: You can't be serious! [Yes he is, Piccolo.] 82 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,260 FREEZA: Oh, but I am. See, I merely... (trails off) 83 00:03:25,260 --> 00:03:27,220 NAIL: 'Hey man, can I talk to you about something really quick?' 84 00:03:27,220 --> 00:03:29,560 PICCOLO: 'I'm *seriously* in the middle of something right now!' 85 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:33,120 NAIL: 'Yeah, I know, but I've been looking around and you've got like, no apps on here.' 86 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:35,300 'I have already played the *crap* out of Minesweeper.' 87 00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:36,260 PICCOLO: 'COULD YOU JUST--?' 88 00:03:36,260 --> 00:03:39,400 'Wait, I have apps? I have Minesweeper?!' 89 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,640 'I just thought I could connect to the internet with my antennae.' 90 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,240 NAIL: 'I didn't even know we COULD do that!' [Probably because you don't *have* internet.] 91 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:45,640 PICCOLO: 'Well, you learn something new every day. Now could you let me focus--' 92 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:48,740 NAIL: 'Heeeey... you wanna play me in Minesweeper?' 93 00:03:48,740 --> 00:03:53,000 PICCOLO: 'You CAN'T play someone in Minesweeper; that's a single player game!' 94 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,360 NAIL: 'Nah, see, first I go, then you go and try to beat my time--' [Sounds like a good idea.] 95 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:57,720 'Unh, hey, is he transforming?' [Obviously.] 96 00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:58,980 PICCOLO: Uh?! DAMN IT! 97 00:03:58,980 --> 00:04:03,880 FREEZA: HAHHHHHHHHHH! 98 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:07,000 FREEZA (voice adopts raspy tone / higher pitch): AHHHHHhhhhhh! [Shit is going to get real!] 99 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:12,180 Ssso, Namekian - what do you think of my third form? [I think it's creepy.] 100 00:04:12,180 --> 00:04:14,460 PICCOLO: I think Ridley Scott's gonna sue somebody. [Exactly, Piccolo.] 101 00:04:14,460 --> 00:04:15,660 FREEZA: What are you talking about? [Copyright infringement.] 102 00:04:15,660 --> 00:04:17,080 Yahn yahn yahn yahn yahn yahn yahn yahn! [o_o] 103 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:18,200 Let me touch your skin! [0_0] 104 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:18,780 PICCOLO: Ugh! [My thoughts exactly!] 105 00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:21,820 GOHAN: Oh no, this is horrible! How could this happen!? [Unoriginality?] 106 00:04:21,820 --> 00:04:23,040 VEGETA: He's going to kill us all! [Why do you all let him transform them?] 107 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:24,640 KRILLIN: HEEEEELP ME! [Kinda too late for that Krillin.] 108 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,040 PICCOLO: HAHHHHHHH! 109 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:26,560 Hyah! 110 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:27,380 Hyah, hyah! [*Intense dodging*] 111 00:04:27,380 --> 00:04:28,920 (Rapid hyahs), HYAH! [You know where this is going.] 112 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:29,980 Grrrrrrrh! 113 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,200 Hya--D'AARRGH! 114 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:36,140 FREEZA: Poor little Namekian! Can't touch me anymore! 115 00:04:36,140 --> 00:04:38,580 How about this: Let's play a game! 116 00:04:38,580 --> 00:04:40,580 Ever heard of paintball? [Yes I have.] 117 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:41,440 POOR LITTLE NAMEKIAN: Yeah... 118 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,940 FREEZA: Just remove the "T". 119 00:04:42,940 --> 00:04:43,720 POOR LITTLE NAMEKIAN: I don't get it-- 120 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,100 ARUGH-HUH, I GET IT!! [PAINBALL!] 121 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:46,940 FREEZA: Now for your other glu-bock! [The hell's a glu-bock?!] 122 00:04:47,180 --> 00:04:48,060 PICCOLO: ARGH! [Sound like it REALLY hurt!] 123 00:04:48,140 --> 00:04:50,380 You're not really familiar with our anatomy, are you? [Well to be fair Piccolo, neither am I.] 124 00:04:50,380 --> 00:04:52,940 FREEZA: It doesn't matter; I'll hit your glu-bock somewhere! [I don't think it works like that] 125 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:55,940 GOHAN: PICCOLO, NOOO! 126 00:04:55,940 --> 00:04:57,380 KRILLIN: Aw, not this crap again! 127 00:04:57,900 --> 00:04:58,600 VEGETA: HOLD ON! 128 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,640 I have an idea, and I don't want to hear any of your stupid crap. 129 00:05:01,940 --> 00:05:03,960 KRILLIN: I only promise to try. 130 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,620 VEGETA: I need you to - and follow me on this one! - 131 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,800 ...*almost* kill me. [YAY ZENKAI ABUSE!] 132 00:05:09,220 --> 00:05:11,140 KRILLIN: Almost... kill you? [You heard him correctly Krillin.] 133 00:05:11,140 --> 00:05:11,700 VEGETA: Yeah. 134 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:15,020 KRILLIN: And there's no repercussion for this? [He's going to beat the shit out of you.] 135 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:16,740 VEGETA: ...I will not punch you. [Liar.] 136 00:05:16,740 --> 00:05:18,060 KRILLIN: Oddly specific. [Don't trust him Krillin.] 137 00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:21,960 VEGETA: I'm going to need a moment to prepare myself, otherwise I might go into-- 138 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:22,960 SHOOOOCK!! [You're screwed Krillin.] 139 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,880 YOU ARE SO PUNCHED! [Knew it.] 140 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,740 PICCOLO: AUGHHAAHAA! WHY IS THIS STILL HAPPENING!? [Because you won't DOOOOOOOOODGE!!] 141 00:05:27,740 --> 00:05:29,200 GOHAN: Circling around, Mr. Piccolo! 142 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:30,240 Hey, Freeza! 143 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:34,900 The human body is composed of 75% water. I am 100% *death*! [NERRRRD!] 144 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:36,100 HAVE SOME! 145 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:36,900 FREEZA: What?! 146 00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:37,480 GUAHHH! 147 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:44,400 Oh no~! The invincible Lord Freeza defeated by a mere child! What dramatic irony! 148 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,280 Ohohoho nohoho... 149 00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:47,140 Ohohoho nohoho... just kidding. 150 00:05:47,140 --> 00:05:48,160 MERE CHILD: 'Crap baskets...!' 151 00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:56,660 Mr. Piccolo! You saved me again! 152 00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:58,940 PICCOLO: "Saved" is sort of subjective here. [I agree Piccolo.] 153 00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:03,500 FREEZA: So, we're all well aware that that all basically equated to a game of hot space-potato, right? [I am aware Freeza.] 154 00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:07,880 Well then, I say we get a move-on! Who here's tired of my third form? [Ridley Scott is obviously.] 155 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:09,040 PICCOLO: Me. GOHAN: Me. KRILLIN: Me. 156 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,520 FREEZA: Alrighty, then! Final form it is! 157 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,660 KRILLIN: Personally, I was a bigger fan of the first form. 158 00:06:13,660 --> 00:06:15,340 PICCOLO: I'd settle on second, really. 159 00:06:15,340 --> 00:06:17,080 FREEZA: HYAHHHHHHH...! 160 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,600 GOHAN: Come on, Mr. Piccolo. 161 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,020 PICCOLO: Urgghh... 162 00:06:20,020 --> 00:06:22,980 GOHAN: Don't worry, we have Dende. He can heal you! [Well not for long.] 163 00:06:23,660 --> 00:06:25,600 Krillin, where's Dende? 164 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,900 KRILLIN: I dunno but Little Green's over there with Vegeta. 165 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:28,580 GOHAN: Why? 166 00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:29,780 KRILLIN: I blew a hole in his chest. 167 00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:31,140 GOHAN: ...WHY?! [Zenkai abuse Gohan.] 168 00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:32,320 KRILLIN: Because he asked for it. [He's not wrong.] 169 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:33,340 VEGETA: Gaaugh... 170 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:35,760 You... green thing... 171 00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:37,040 Heal me. 172 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:41,600 GREEN THING: Oh I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time hearing you over the smell of my people's blood on your hands. [Pretty sure that's his own blood, actually...] 173 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,620 VEGETA: Oh no... do not be that guy right now. [Oh yes he will Vegeta.] 174 00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:46,820 THAT GUY RIGHT NOW: Oh, I'm going to be that guy right now. 175 00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:50,200 VEGETA: I am LITERALLY going to die! [He's not wrong.] 176 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:54,020 THAT GUY RIGHT NOW: Well, how about this: I'll heal you, on one condition... 177 00:06:54,020 --> 00:06:55,140 VEGETA: And that is? 178 00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:56,200 DENDE: Say my name. [Dende.] 179 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:57,420 VEGETA: Oh... 180 00:06:58,500 --> 00:06:59,780 uhhhhhhhhhhh... 181 00:06:59,780 --> 00:07:01,580 UHHHHHHHHHHH: You don't even know my name. 182 00:07:01,580 --> 00:07:03,360 VEGETA: OH! I-I do! It's, uh... 183 00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:04,440 Um, uh... 184 00:07:05,420 --> 00:07:06,800 Little... Green? [No, Dende.] 185 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:08,800 TOTALLY NOT LITTLE GREEN: Hahahahahaha - no. 186 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,180 No - it's Dende. 187 00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:11,320 Say "Dende". 188 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:11,960 VEGETA: Dende. 189 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,220 DENDE: Now say, "Please heal me, Dende." 190 00:07:14,220 --> 00:07:15,640 VEGETA: Please heal me, Dende. 191 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,640 DENDE: Well, since you asked so nicely... 192 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,140 VEGETA: Come back, magic man... 193 00:07:22,140 --> 00:07:23,080 augh... 194 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,040 [High pitch/frequency pulse] MAGIC MAN: And you, my friend, are a subject of nepotism. 195 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:26,960 [High pitch/frequency pulse] PICCOLO: Ughh... 196 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,280 Thank you, magic man. 197 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,660 MAGIC MAN: It's good to have you back, Nail. 198 00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:30,760 PICCOLO: I'm not Nail. 199 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:31,860 NAIL: 'Technically you kinda are.' 200 00:07:31,860 --> 00:07:32,940 TECHNICALLY NAIL: Shut up, Nail! 201 00:07:32,940 --> 00:07:34,360 DENDE: Why are you talking to yourself? 202 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,240 TECHNICALLY NAIL: No reason; now go heal Vegeta. 203 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:37,400 DENDE: Why would I do that? 204 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,780 FREEZA: AHHHHHHH...! [There's your reason Dende.] 205 00:07:40,020 --> 00:07:41,220 TECHNICALLY NAIL: Because *that*. 206 00:07:41,220 --> 00:07:43,280 DENDE: Oh yeah... that's happening right now. [Yes it is.] 207 00:07:43,460 --> 00:07:45,460 FREEZA: YEH-AHHHHHHHHH...! 208 00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,640 GOHAN: Krillin, why aren't you using your Kienzan? [Exactly Gohan.] 209 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,060 KRILLIN: Yeah you know, I keep forgetting to do that. 210 00:07:51,060 --> 00:07:51,560 GOHAN: ...And? 211 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:55,160 KRILLIN: Well, I kind of used all my energy to mortally wound Vegeta. 212 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:57,000 GOHAN: Seriously, what did I miss?! [Zenkai abuse.] 213 00:07:57,540 --> 00:07:59,980 DENDE [off-screen]: (Sigh), twist my arm a little bit more, why don't cha? 214 00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:01,860 VEGETA: You... healed me. 215 00:08:01,860 --> 00:08:04,400 DENDE [o-s]: Of course I did. I'm a nice guy. 216 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,200 VEGETA: And now what's to stop me from kicking your face in? 217 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:10,360 DENDE: Because you touch me... and you're not getting back up again. 218 00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:13,140 WHITE MAGE: That's right, I'm your White Mage... 219 00:08:13,140 --> 00:08:14,580 WHITE MAGE: That's right, I'm your White Mage... and *nobody*... 220 00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:15,880 WHITE MAGE: That's right, I'm your White Mage... and *nobody*... f**ks... 221 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:17,180 WHITE MAGE: That's right, I'm your White Mage... and *nobody*... f**ks... with the White Mage. 222 00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:18,920 *FIRAGA* [Nobody on his team that is...] 223 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:21,600 [The Enemy Final Boss on the other hand...] 224 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,840 FREEZA (now with his normal cultured tone): Oh, I feel REAL good about my life right now. 225 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,780 [♫ Closing theme (DBZ intermission) ♫] 226 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,300 KRILLIN: LITTLE GREEN! NOOOOOO! 227 00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:36,720 GOHAN: Actually, Krillin, his name was Dende. 228 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,680 KRILLIN: Huh, that's funny. Never spoke up about it. [That's why you get punched so much.]