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[Disclaimer read by Idiot Hero]

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[WARNING: These subtitles contain added awesomeness.
If you want the clean captions, please select the English option. Ta-ta~]

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BULMA: Wait... so you're saying he had a sub-lab?

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DR. BRIEFS: *Of course* he had a sub-lab!
We all have sub-labs; where do you think I keep your mother's clones?

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BULMA: Mom's *what*?! :o

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DR. BRIEFS: Don't go in the basement.

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Oh, look! There's bombs in the Androids!
I could probably make a detonator for that!

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KRILLIN: I don't know - do you really have to blow them* up?
[* The girl ;)]

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DR. BRIEFS: Why do you care? They're mostly just machinery at this point.

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Oops! Except for the lady; baby-maker's still intact.
Guess she's still useful for somethin'.

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KRILLIN: So, you're saying she still has a--

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DR. BRIEFS: Vagina, yes.
(...But why? Is Gero not telling us something? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

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KRILLIN: Just went from a nine to a ten!

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BULMA: Ugh! Anyway, where's everyone else right now?

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KRILLIN: Well, Piccolo and the others are searching for Cell...

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PICCOLO [off-screen]: How are all these rides still running?!
[A.I., probably.]

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TENSHINHAN [o-s]: Why are the clothes still on them?
[That should be obvious.]

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PICCOLO: THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A PLACE OF FUN!
(It is. It's just a place of fun after Cell f*cked everything over.)

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KRILLIN: ...So hopefully that's going well...

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KRILLIN: ...So hopefully that's going well...
and Trunks went out to find Vegeta.

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TRUNKS: NOTICE ME!

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VEGETA: NOOO!

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KRILLIN: Best of luck there.

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BULMA: And any update on Goku?

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KRILLIN [o-s]: Oh, he's just resting at Kame House... probably still asleep.

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{KABEEEEWM!}

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CHI-CHI: Uuu-uhh! Uh, huh?! AHHH! THE ANDROIDS ARE HERE!

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Bring it on, you robotic sons of--

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Bring it on, you robotic sons of--
...huh?!

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Oh no! They've already got him!

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[Footsteps]

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AH!

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MASTER ROSHI: Did I miss something?

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Ehh...?

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Well, either Goku's awake or Moses has brought the Jews.
Either way, my pantry's not full enough.

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CHI-CHI: (Gasp!)
MAS. ROSHI: Hm?

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CHI-CHI: Goku!
MAS. ROSHI: Eh heh!

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MAS. ROSHI: IEEE...!

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GOKU: Oh hi!

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CHI-CHI: (Laughs joyfully)
[Believe it or not, she *does* care.]

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GOKU: Aww, hugs are nice!
[Damn right.]

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CHI-CHI: Oh, tell me you're finally okay!

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GOKU: Yuh-huh! Never felt better! Wanna see?

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CHI-CHI: Hold on--

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AAAHHHH...!

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GOKU: Huh! Wonder when she'll come back down--

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CHI-CHI: AAAHHHH--!!

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[It was at this moment, Goku realized...]

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[It was at this moment, Goku realized...
He f*cked up.]

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[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]

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♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫

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♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫

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♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai ♫

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♫ *Sparking!* ♫

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"ANDROID" 18 [o-s]: I can't believe you took this thing off-roading...!

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This thing *barely* handled on the *freeway*!

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"ANDROID" 17: Oh, come on, Eighteen!
Where's your sense of adventure?

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18: About 15 miles back with the shocks!

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ANDROID 16: I personally enjoy this alternate route.

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It is decked with foliage and wildlife and--

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...and spending time with you. But clearly, you disagree.
[Aww, poor fire-crotch.]

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17: Won't lie, sis. Kind of a dick move.

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18: Oh, come on! We'll take him to a zoo after this.

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How's that? You wanna hit up the zoo, Sixteen?

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16: I want to see the parrots.

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[Waves splashing]

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[Goku gearing up]

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{SNAP}

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MAS. ROSHI: Goku! You have missed a hell of a day!

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GOKU: Oh, I know everything; I learned it in my pirate dream.

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I was having a ninja dream too, but it ended.

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CHI-CHI: Alright, now listen:
I know you just woke up, so--

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GOKU: Yeah, I was outta permission for a while!
I really oughta get back to training...

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CHI-CHI: (Growls)

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GOKU: ...so I can fight Cell!

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CHI-CHI: (Growls louder)

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GOKU: What? I-if you're worried about Gohan, I'll bring him along with me!

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CHI-CHI: (Sigh)...

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CHI-CHI: (Sigh)... fine.

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GOKU: Huh?

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CHI-CHI: Go ahead, go train! Take Gohan.
Fight your evil android bug monster!

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But I want you to promise me *one thing*...

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GOKU: Okaaay... what's that--

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CHI-CHI: I want another baby!

85
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GOKU: Mmm, mmm...
[Hmm/Mmm Counter: 2 (There will be a lot of 'em this episode.)]

86
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K, BYE!

87
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[Goku f*cks off]

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MAS. ROSHI: Uhh... was that a "yes"?

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CHI-CHI: It~ wasn't a "no"~!

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MAS. ROSHI: Mmm! Mmm!
[Hmm/Mmm Counter: 4]

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K, BYE!

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KRILLIN [o-s]: Thanks for swinging by to pick me up!

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YAMCHA [o-s]: What were you doing at Bulma's house anyway?

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KRILLIN: Oh, just droppin' off the blue-gina-- I mean vag-prints!

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I mean, thanks for swinging by to pick me up!

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PICCOLO: This is bad! We can't keep running after Cell.
Every time he slips away, we lose another city!

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TENSHINHAN: Don't be so melodramatic.
Worst case scenario - we wish people back with the Dragon Balls.

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PICCOLO: Uuh? Uhhhhh...
[Or so they think...]

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KRILLIN: Oh God, what?!

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PICCOLO: So, remember how Kami and I fused?

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TENSHINHAN: No...!

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PICCOLO: Aaand, remember how we used to have Dragon Balls?

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TENSHINHAN: Holy shit!
[The penny drops.]

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KRILLIN: Wait, I'm still confused!

105
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TENSHINHAN: The Dragon Balls don't exist anymore, Krillin.

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KRILLIN [Probably sh*tting himself now]: OH! OKAY!

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YAMCHA: Dude, don't worry. I still have the bunker--

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KRILLIN [losing his shit, whilst crying like a b*tch]: WHY DON'T WE HAVE GOKU?!

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GOKU: I'm taking Gohan, BYE!

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GOHAN: Wha--?

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PICCOLO: :o

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YAMCHA: :o

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TENSHINHAN: :o

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KRILLIN: :o

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PICCOLO: Good news! The Idiot Hero's back!

116
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KRILLIN: Bitchin'! Let's go hang at Kame House!

117
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KAMI: 'Oh, good! We'll have to see if he's carrying.'

118
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PICCOLO: 'Carrying what?'
[Understandably confused]

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KAMI: 'I'm asking if he's got any grass on that island.'

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PICCOLO: 'Well, yeah. But it's mostly covered by that house.'
[Pfft, he's not wrong...]

121
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NAIL: 'He's asking if he has any pot.'

122
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PICCOLO: 'I don't know, probably. I mean, he knows the Mafuba.'
[...]

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KAMI [Series fans]: 'Oh, my God...!'
NAIL [Z fans]: 'The *what*??'

124
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[Suddenly, Idiot Hero and Nerd Son.]

125
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TRUNKS: Huh?!

126
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GOHAN [still processing]: What just happened?!

127
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TRUNKS: Goku... and Gohan?!

128
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GOKU: I'll fill you in later, Gohan.
Hey, Trunks! How's the training coming?

129
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TRUNKS: I don't know, let's see...

130
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Hey Dad, do you wanna train with me?

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GRUMPY OLD GIT: F*** OFF!

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TRUNKS: About that well.

133
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GOKU: Ooh! Only on two words, huh?
I'll go talk to him.

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Hey, 'Geets!

135
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'GEETS: (Growls)

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GOKU: I heard you lost your fight pretty bad.

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'GEETS: (Growls louder)

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GOKU: But you know what they say, Vegeta:

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When you fall off that horse, you get
right back up, and you *eat that horse*.

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Come eat that horse with me, Vegeta!
[Anyone else lost here?]

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VEGETA: What the hell are you on about?!
[Yeah, thought so.]

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GOKU: Oh, I just found a place where we can
do a whole year's worth of training in a day.

143
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[Wow, that made sense.]

144
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VEGETA: I'm listening...

145
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GOKU: It's up on Kami's Lookout. Although, now I guess
 it's just... "The Lookout." Either way, they call it the...

146
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MR. POPO: ...Hyperbolic Time Chamber.

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VEGETA [o-s]: WHAT THE F*** IS THAT?!
[So Popo has already spooked him, huh?]

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17: So Eighteen, what's it look like in there?

149
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18: It looks like Goku's wife is a Chinese princess. [she actually is.]

150
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Seriously, I'm glad she's my size, but who wears this junk?

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17: I mean, is Goku there?

152
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18: Oh, no; place is empty. Devoid of both people *and* taste.
(Burn.)

153
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17: Huh! Didn't figure Goku for a runner.

154
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18: Well, if I were a guessing girl, I'd say they're at Kame House.

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17: But that's, like, the second place we'd look.

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16: Confirmed: That is the second place we shall look.

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17: Mmm... but it's on an island, so we can't take a van...

158
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18: Oh, thank God!

159
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17: ...So we'll find a boat!

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16: *No*!

161
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17: Pardon?

162
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16: We have done it your way.
Now we do it my way: the bird way.

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We flyyy~!

164
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18: He's finally speaking my language. I mean... kind of...

165
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[Footsteps]

166
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MR. POPO: Here it is, maggots - the Hyperbolic Time Chamber.

167
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GOKU: Waiiit... I thought it was called the "Room of Spirit and Time".

168
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MR. POPO: I said that because you kept mispronouncing it.

169
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GOKU: N'aww, I can do it!

170
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Hypebola Mine Chamber.
[Strike 1]

171
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MR. POPO: No.

172
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GOKU: Hyperglycemic Crime Chamber.
[Strike 2]

173
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MR. POPO: You get one more.

174
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GOKU: ...Hypebonics Rhyme Chamber.
[Strike 3. Also, what the actual fuck?]

175
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MR. POPO: Hmm.
[Hmm/Mmm Counter: 5]

176
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:42,540
Inside, time moves at 365.24 times that of this dimension.

177
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In Goku terms: One day out here - one year in there.

178
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And only two of you maggots can enter at a time.

179
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GOHAN: Wait! How long have you known about this?

180
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GOKU: Since I was a kid.

181
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GOHAN: Then why didn't Krillin and the others use it to train against the Saiyans?
Why didn`t WE use it to train against the Androids?!

182
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MR. POPO: They had... other training...

183
00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:06,200
Besides, they most likely would not have survived.
I threw Goku in there once when he was a kid.

184
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GOKU: I almost died.
(ALMOST. Unfortunately, the moron still lives.)

185
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MR. POPO: Hmm.
[Hmm/Mmm Counter: 6]

186
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VEGETA: Then the boy and I will go first and save you two the trouble.

187
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VEGETA: Then the boy and I will go first and save you two the trouble.
MOVE IT, BOY!

188
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TRUNKS [quietly]: Help me...!

189
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GOKU: Have fun, Trunks! You too, best buddy!

190
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:23,360
Huh! You know, you don't really seem like yourself today, Mr. Popo.

191
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,200
[Popo hallucinating, most likely from another gallon of LSD... or maybe...]

192
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MR. POPO: Hmm.
[Hmm/Mmm Counter: 7] [...he misses Kami :P]

193
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REPORTER [on TV]: ...find a cabin in the woods, and if anyone comes knocking,
make sure you let the right one in, or you'll be dead by dawn.

194
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KRILLIN [sleepy]: Not today...!
REPORTER [on TV]: ...find a cabin in the woods, and if anyone comes knocking,
make sure you let the right one in, or you'll be dead by dawn.

195
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NEWS ANCHOR: The death toll keeps rising as...

196
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ANOTHER NEWS ANCHOR: ...the unknown creature continues its...

197
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YET ANOTHER NEWS ANCHOR: ...terrifying siege across our nation!

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PICCOLO: I GET IT, HE'S ABSORBING PEOPLE! I'M TRYING TO STOP IT!

199
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KAMI: 'Maybe you should get some sleep like everyone else.'

200
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PICCOLO: I'LL SLEEP WHEN I'M DEAD!

201
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17 [o-s]: I can help with that!

202
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PICCOLO: Huh?!

203
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WAKE UP!

204
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KRILLIN: AHH!

205
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Oh man! I had the craziest dream - Cell was there.

206
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PICCOLO [o-s]: Well, the Androids are *here*!

207
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17: Yo.

208
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KRILLIN [o-s and scared as f*ck]: AAAHH!!

209
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17 [o-s]: We're here for Goku.

210
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PICCOLO: Son of a bitch!

211
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16: Son Goku is not here.

212
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17: Son of a bitch!
[Geddit? ;)]

213
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PICCOLO: You heard him: Goku's not here.

214
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:13,960
17: Oh, I heard him. We're just not very happy about it. Right, 16?

215
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,840
16: Son Goku... is not here!

216
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:21,520
17: Exactly! And we came all the way out here to kill *somebody*.

217
00:09:21,820 --> 00:09:23,880
So, you've got one of two choices:

218
00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:27,680
You can either tell us where Goku is, or, well...

219
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:28,720
PICCOLO: Or, what?

220
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,280
18: Or we kill you! Oh, my God!

221
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:35,880
KRILLIN: Hey, Eighteen! You... you come around here... often?
[Speed dating, DBZA-style!]
[If by speed dating you mean completely and utterly being akward as f*ck, then yes, speed dating.]

222
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:36,700
18: Nope!

223
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:37,520
KRILLIN: Hmm!
[<sarcasm>Success!</sarcasm>]

224
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,340
MAS. ROSHI: Uh, excuse me Androids?

225
00:09:39,340 --> 00:09:44,820
If you're gonna fight, could you please move it off the island?
It's quite literally the only thing I own.

226
00:09:44,820 --> 00:09:48,740
17: That's fine. But when I win, I'm blowing it up for funsies.

227
00:09:48,740 --> 00:09:49,420
MAS. ROSHI: Hmm!
[Hmm/Mmm Counter: 8

228
00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:53,700
PICCOLO: Alright then, follow me.
There's a series of uninhabited islands over there.

229
00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:55,020
17: How do you know that?

230
00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:58,200
PICCOLO: You three stay here. I'll handle this.

231
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,200
KRILLIN: Okay! I'll Spacebook you later!

232
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:05,180
YAMCHA: So, if he fails, we're all gonna die, right?

233
00:10:05,180 --> 00:10:08,160
TENSHINHAN: Basically... and we have no Dragon Balls.

234
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:10,720
YAMCHA: Hope training's going well...

235
00:10:12,060 --> 00:10:16,120
TRUNKS (shudders): Holy...! This place...

236
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:19,560
It's... nothing but a white void!

237
00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:24,100
I can't see where it ends... or even where it begins!

238
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:30,480
It's... overwhelming! I need time... time to adjust, time to--

239
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:31,160
VEGETA [o-s]: TRAINING BEGINS NOW!

240
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:31,660
[Trunks gets rekt]

241
00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:32,700
TRUNKS: AHH!

242
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,200
VEGETA: You weren't ready.
[That was the most loving gesture to his son so far]

243
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,080
TRUNKS [o-s]: (Groans)
[That was the most loving gesture to his son so far]

244
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:39,600
[♫ Closing theme (DBZ intermission) ♫]
[Grand Hmm/Mmm Total: 8]

245
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:57,720
DR. BRIEFS: Soon...

246
00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:00,660
(Chuckling)