1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,060 LANIPATOR: Hey there, everyone, I'm Lanipator. 2 00:00:02,060 --> 00:00:05,500 We here at Team Four Star have always promoted supporting the official release. 3 00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:09,640 It's the best way to make sure we'll be able to continue to enjoy all the great shows we know and love, 4 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:11,360 and thanks to our friends over at Crunchyroll, 5 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,700 supporting the official release has never been easier. 6 00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:18,260 Through Crunchyroll, you can stream episodes of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Drifters, Keijo, 7 00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:23,040 and yes, Dragon Ball Super just hours after they air over in the Land of the Rising Sun. 8 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:27,600 So head on over to crunchyroll.com/teamfourstar now to begin your free trial. 9 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:30,100 Because as we've said at the beginning of every episode... 10 00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:33,980 [Gohan reading disclaimer to the sounds of bed-rocking from his parents' room] 11 00:00:33,980 --> 00:00:43,980 [WARNING: These subtitles contain added awesomeness. If you want the clean captions, please select the English option. Ta-ta~] 12 00:00:43,980 --> 00:00:48,900 [BTW, Chi-Chi's still putting the Energizer Rabbit to shame. Just as well Goku's a Super Saiyan, eh? ;)] 13 00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:52,400 [It also makes for good "stamina training" (as Vegeta would call it)] 14 00:00:53,580 --> 00:00:57,120 KRILLIN: Man, it feels like years since you and I just went fishing and chilled out. [Well yeah, between him having kids, both of you dying, and everything else] 15 00:00:57,340 --> 00:01:00,940 And of all times, right before a tournament to decide the fate of the world... 16 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:02,840 ...weird how stuff works out, am I right? [The one time I agree with Krillin] 17 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,420 GOKU: Nobody knows, Krillin. [Wait, what now?] 18 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:05,060 KRILLIN: Huh? 19 00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:07,360 GOKU: Nobody knows the weight on my shoulders. [What kinda weight we talking here?] 20 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,920 I feel it... every day. [Probably in your anus] 21 00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:13,420 Before I go to bed, when I wake up in the morning... 22 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,240 Sometimes, I wonder... 23 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:18,880 ...can I do this ? [This sounds personal] 24 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,400 KRILLIN: Wow, I, uh... 25 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,580 ...I had no idea this Cell stuff was getting to you so badly. [Oh...] 26 00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:24,560 GOKU: Cell stuff? 27 00:01:24,820 --> 00:01:26,360 I'm talking about Chi-Chi. [Not surprised] 28 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:27,100 KRILLIN: Chi-Chi? [Only if you knew....] 29 00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:29,000 GOKU: She's been non-stop! 30 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,320 Ever since I got out of the Chamber, 31 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:34,100 in and out, day in and day out! [What?] 32 00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:39,260 She'll send Gohan for groceries five counties over in the middle of the day just to get him out of the house! [what?] 33 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,220 KRILLIN: You... know you can say "no", right? [Would that honestly stop her?] (Probably not no) 34 00:01:42,220 --> 00:01:43,540 GOKU: Well, duh! 35 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,040 But it's a *challenge*, Krillin! [YOU ARE A SUPER SAIYAN!] (Our Idoit Hero: Sex=A Challenge...) 36 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:48,280 And I never back down from a challenge. (...somehow) 37 00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:50,480 ...Also, it feels really good! [As to be expected] 38 00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:51,880 Have you ever tried it? 39 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,080 KRILLIN: Like... with a real person? [I.E. Anyone besides Rosie Palms] 40 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,200 GOHAN: Hey, Dad? 41 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,000 Mom sent me to tell you to come home. 42 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:00,460 She also told me to pick up a lot of... peanut butter? (kinky AF) 43 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:01,600 GOKU: Krillin... 44 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,980 KRILLIN: Look, if you're asking me to tag in, I'm willing but— [It's Krillen time!] 45 00:02:03,980 --> 00:02:05,180 GOKU: Wha... NO! 46 00:02:05,180 --> 00:02:06,900 Catch more fish while I'm gone! [Yeah Krillin, pound that Tuna in honor of Goku!] 47 00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:09,300 KRILLIN: Oh, duh! Of course, like that'd ever work... [Butt Monkey knows his place, after all] 48 00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:11,060 GOKU: Yeah, no, it... 49 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:13,880 ...but if you had a wig... [Goku X Krillin] 50 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:15,680 [♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫] 51 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,440 ♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫ 52 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:22,800 ♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z) 53 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,060 ♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~) 54 00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:28,020 ♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫ 55 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,700 [Crowd cheering on TV] PRESENTER [on TV]: And now, introducing your World Martial Arts Champion, 56 00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:42,000 the strongest man on the planet... 57 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,500 Misteeeeeer... 58 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:44,600 SATAAAAAAN! [Perhaps to second greatest hypeman, behind Reecome himself] 59 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,660 [Satan theme playing] [Crowd cheers] 60 00:02:46,660 --> 00:02:48,660 YAMCHA: Wait... Martial Arts Champion--? 61 00:02:48,660 --> 00:02:50,360 Uh, did we miss a tournament?! 62 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,400 ROSHI: Yeah... there was one last month. 63 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,920 KRILLIN: Damn it, we were busy training for the Androids! [TO SAVE THE WORLD YEAH!] 64 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:56,220 ROSHI: What do either of you care? 65 00:02:56,220 --> 00:02:56,720 YAMCHA and KRILLIN [o-s]:Prize money. 66 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:57,300 [Totally worth the destruction of Earth] 67 00:02:57,300 --> 00:03:00,840 PRESENTER: Mr. Satan, what do you have to say to your opponent? 68 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,520 SATAN: Now you listen here, "Cell". 69 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:08,960 I know why you gave everyone a week to prepare for your little tournament! 70 00:03:09,140 --> 00:03:12,880 It's so you could spend the last seven days on Earth prayin'... 71 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:16,340 that MR. SATAN WOULDN'T SHOW UP! [He literally killed like a dozen cities, the fuck would you do?] 72 00:03:16,340 --> 00:03:17,400 [Crowd cheers] 73 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,900 So after I SELL OUT, 74 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:20,400 [Crowd cheers] 75 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,300 and drink my HETAP, [Man I'd kill for a Hetap #Cellgames] 76 00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:22,820 [Crowd cheers] 77 00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:25,940 AND F*** MY HOT ASIAN WIFE...! [Any relation to Chi-Chi?] 78 00:03:25,940 --> 00:03:27,600 [Crowd cheers] 79 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,800 I'm gonna squash you *therecordcompanysgonnagivemelotsofmoneyandeverythingsgonna* 80 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,400 I'm gonna squash you like the bug... *...BE...* 81 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:32,200 I'm gonna squash you like the bug... you... *...BE... ALL...* 82 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,140 I'm gonna squash you like the bug... you... are. *...BE... ALL... RIGHT.* 83 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,680 PRESENTER [on TV]: Mr. Satan, everybody! 84 00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:39,100 YAMCHA: So... do they know what's going on with his name, or— [Whaduya think Yamcha?] 85 00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:40,420 CROWD: HAIL SATAN! [Hail Hydra] 86 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:41,880 CROWD: HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! [It's Hydra you idiots] 87 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:43,140 CROWD: HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! [Hydraists confirmed] 88 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,500 YAMCHA: ...okay, yeah, they know. CROWD: HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! 89 00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:45,080 [pop!] 90 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,420 GOKU: Guys! I need help with my hot Asian wife! [~OHH MYYY]{King Kai: Takei! I swear to me!} 91 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,000 HOT ASIAN WIFE: Who told you you could LEAVE THE BEDROOM?! [That ass is her's] 92 00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:53,900 HOT ASIAN WIFE'S BITCH [whispering]: Guys... don't tell her I'm here...! [A bit late for that Goku] 93 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:57,600 JOURNALIST [o-s]: This is bullshit, man! 94 00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:58,860 This is suicide...! 95 00:03:58,860 --> 00:04:02,380 CREW LEADER: Dude, pull your balls out of your purse, and do your job. 96 00:04:02,380 --> 00:04:04,400 JOURNALIST: Okay, *that's* sexist as hell! [How?] 97 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:05,980 CREW LEADER: Yeah, it's sexist. [Do explain] 98 00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:07,700 And do you know what's standing out there? [A bug-man.] 99 00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:09,700 A Pulitzer! Now go get it! [That's wrong, surely?] 100 00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:12,440 JOURNALIST: Uh, um, uh... hello. 101 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,600 BUG-MAN: Hello, there! How may I help you? 102 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,800 JOURNALIST: W-well... M-Mr. Cell! 103 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:19,800 M-MR. CELL: Oh, please now... don't be so formal. 104 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,500 Call me "Perfect Cell". 105 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:23,700 JOURNALIST: Uh... okay, Perfect Cell— 106 00:04:23,700 --> 00:04:25,000 PERFECT CELL: MISTER Perfect Cell! 107 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,760 JOURNALIST: M-M-Mr. Perfect Cell! [Good job, you get to live a little longer] 108 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:30,100 Can you tell the audience where you are and who you came from? 109 00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:30,760 I-I-I mean--- 110 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,580 M-M-MR. PERFECT CELL: No, actually, an *apt* choice of words. 111 00:04:33,580 --> 00:04:37,500 As for the "where", this is the immaculate Cell Games Arena. [Which, despite the journalist, is still dry...] 112 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,000 As for "who", well... hmph. 113 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:43,500 Let me weave you the tale of my origin. [DBZA Abridged version, Thanks Mr. Perfect Cell] 114 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:47,640 Though I must preface that it does drag on in places, so I'll try to minimize the filler. [Remember Garlic Jr?] 115 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:52,600 [Whimsical music] Now... our story begins as many stories often do: 116 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,600 With a young girl shooting a little boy in the face. [Yes, Goku's first canon enemy was *Bulma*] 117 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,500 GOKU: (Yawning) 118 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,500 KRILLIN: You, uh... okay, buddy? 119 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,200 You look exhausted. 120 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,800 GOKU: Uh-huh... I didn't get a wink last night. [Must be all that "stamina training" ;)] 121 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,120 Chi-Chi keeps trying to break my record of nine times. [Super Saiyans are certified for porn] 122 00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,400 "Go for ten," she yells... 123 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:13,340 "GO for TEN!" [Is that why his name Goten?] 124 00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:17,520 KRILLIN: I feel like a man dying of thirst watching another man drown. [A.K.A. anyone on a small deserted island] 125 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:19,800 GOKU: Well, you know what they say: 126 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:23,300 A Saiyan gets stronger every time he comes... [Well, it is called "la petite mort" for a reason...] 127 00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:24,940 (Yawn) 128 00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:26,900 ...back from the brink of death. [Oh, nevermind.] 129 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:28,400 KRILLIN: Well, where is she now? 130 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,800 GOKU [o-s]: She's looking for something in the other room. 131 00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:34,700 CHI-CHI: 'Come on, I know we had another bottle of it somewhere around here.' 132 00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:36,300 'I will use canola oil if I have—' [Is she "experimenting"] 133 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:36,800 GHOST: Boo! [thud!] 134 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,500 CHI-CHI: Ow! Damn ghosts! 135 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,000 KRILLIN: So why don't you just... 136 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,000 ...I don't know, "strategically withdraw"? 137 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,460 GOKU: No can do. 138 00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:45,680 She said she needs ALL of it.( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 139 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:49,400 KRILLIN: I MEANT, just disappear for a little bit to recharge your... 140 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,500 ..."batteries". [That thing Cooler kicked] 141 00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,300 GOKU: Well, it is strategy... 142 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,280 ...but we can't use the back door. [~OOHHHH MYYYYY] 143 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,600 Chi-Chi says I'm not allowed to anymore. [Go in from the roof] 144 00:05:58,260 --> 00:06:00,260 [Awkward Silence is Awkward] 145 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,500 KAMI: 'You should talk to him.' 146 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:03,800 PICCOLO: 'What? Why would I?' 147 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,300 NAIL: 'Because you could *both* use more friends.' [I mean he's not wrong] 148 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,300 PICCOLO: 'I am TERRIBLE at small talk.' 149 00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:10,840 KAMI: 'And you're never going to get better unless you try.' 150 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,400 'Now, go on...' 151 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:13,200 PICCOLO: So... uh... 152 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:13,700 TRUNKS: Huh? PICCOLO: So... uh... 153 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:15,800 ...do you hate your dad? [Damn] 154 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:16,300 TRUNKS: Uhh... 155 00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:17,200 KAMI: '*Wow*'. TRUNKS: Uhh... 156 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,800 KAMI: 'You were not wrong.' 157 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:19,800 TERRIBLE AT SMALL TALK: 'SEE'?! 158 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,140 TRUNKS: (Sigh) You know, I wouldn't say I hate him. [I'd say he hates you] 159 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,600 I guess I'm mostly just disappointed. [Just like Vegeta] 160 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,300 He's the single most frustrating man I've ever met. [Have you seen Broly?] 161 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,500 Heh... but you know dads, right? 162 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:31,000 PICCOLO: Goku killed mine. [Double damn] 163 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,600 TRUNKS: Oh... geez, uh... 164 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:33,600 S-sorry, I— 165 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,600 NAIL: 'Oh, perfect! He's just as bad as you are.' 166 00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:36,700 [pop!] 167 00:06:36,900 --> 00:06:39,400 GOKU: Please tell me nobody here wants a piece of me. 168 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,600 TRUNKS: Uhh, well, when Dad's out of the Chamber, he'll probably want a swing at you. 169 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:44,600 GOKU: I *knew it*! [And so began their fusion nights] 170 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,400 GOHAN: Why did you bring us both along? 171 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,280 GOKU: Because if your mother questioned you, 172 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:49,400 you'd *talk*. [Wait, did he just...] 173 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:50,800 GOHAN: Yeah, I would... [...yes, he did. :O] 174 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,000 KRILLIN: So, Piccolo, 175 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,100 how's the Time Chamber? 176 00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:54,400 PICCOLO: I don't want to talk about it. [Translation: He fantasized about Cell] 177 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,900 KRILLIN: Yeaaaah, probably not going to bother going in myself. [Why would you?] 178 00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:59,500 At this point, either you guys can beat Cell or you can't.(Or scream at him until his ear explodes, happened to most fans alredy. 179 00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:02,200 No use risking my life without the reset button on hand. [Our point exactly] 180 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,540 GOHAN: Wow... I hadn't even thought about that. 181 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,600 We live in a world without Dragon Balls now! 182 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:11,000 TRUNKS [sarcastic]: Oh, yeah. That sounds terrible... I'm so sorry. [Came from a world without dragon balls] 183 00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:12,800 GOHAN: It's alright. We'll manage. [You precious child] 184 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,200 TRUNKS: ...I can't be mad at you. [Why thank you, Brock!] 185 00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:18,900 GOKU: I don't get it. Why can't you just make us some new Dragon Balls, Piccolo? 186 00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:24,000 PICCOLO: Because, Goku, I'm from the warrior clan. *Kami* was from the dragon clan. 187 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,100 One punches people; the other makes Dragon Balls. [Seems superficial, and complicated] 188 00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:29,460 GOHAN: Wait, but you two come from the same pers— 189 00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:29,960 PICCOLO: *So*, if you want Dragon Balls, you need another Namekian. 190 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:30,800 GOHAN [o-s]: ...uh, oh... PICCOLO: *So*, if you want Dragon Balls, you need another Namekian. 191 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,200 PICCOLO: *So*, if you want Dragon Balls, you need another Namekian. 192 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,500 KRILLIN: What about New Namek? 193 00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:37,260 I bet there's a whole gaggle of Namekians who can make us a new set. 194 00:07:37,260 --> 00:07:40,400 PICCOLO: We'd have to *find* New Namek first, and who knows where that is! [You don't know where your people are?] 195 00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:41,000 [pop!] [Wait.., did he just] 196 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,300 Also, "gaggle"? 197 00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:43,640 KRILLIN: Well, what would you call them? 198 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:45,760 A pod of Namekians? ...A pride? 199 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,480 PICCOLO: A cornucopia. What do you call a group of humans? 200 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:49,760 POPO: An infestation. [Subject to extermination] [KEK] 201 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,400 PICCOLO: Point is, without a Namekian from the dragon clan, 202 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,620 we aren't getting any Dragon Ball— 203 00:07:53,620 --> 00:07:54,120 [pop!] [High-pitched squealing] 204 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:54,800 ALL: Huh?! [High-pitched squealing] [HOW DID HE KNOW!] 205 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,200 [High-pitched squealing] 206 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,640 Child Kidnapper: Is this a dragon whatsit? 207 00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:58,360 DENDE: WHERE AM I?! 208 00:07:58,360 --> 00:07:59,000 WHO ARE YOU?! 209 00:07:59,000 --> 00:07:59,800 WHERE'S MY FAMILY?! 210 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:00,600 [Sultry jazz music] [GILF] 211 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,600 [Sultry jazz music] [Gohan I'd like to fuck] 212 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:03,100 ...Hey. [Sultry jazz music] 213 00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:04,120 [Sultry jazz music] 214 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,000 MR. PERFECT CELL: And so it turns out... 215 00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:09,200 ...he was an alien the whole time! 216 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,660 JOURNALIST: *Whoa*! I did not see that coming! [Me neither, dufus] 217 00:08:11,660 --> 00:08:13,100 MR. PERFECT CELL: Right?! So, 218 00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:15,100 two more Saiyans show up a year later— 219 00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,760 JOURNALIST: Wait, what about Goku's brother? [Who gives a shit?] 220 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:17,460 MR. PERFECT CELL: Oh, he died. [Exactly. :P] 221 00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:18,500 Anyway... 222 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,400 Enter: Vegeta. Now... [Sums up the rest of DBZ(A) with just a name and brief description] 223 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:25,580 (Chuckle), strap yourself in for this cartoon character! [Sums up the rest of DBZ(A) with just a name and brief description] 224 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,700 [Bulma and her Dr. Briefs doing the one thing useful at the moment] 225 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:33,260 BULMA: Hey, Dad? Can you come take a look at this? 226 00:08:33,260 --> 00:08:36,640 DR. BRIEFS: What is it, pumpkin? Find Gero's *porn stash*~? [Fat Android on Saiyan action? Please no...] 227 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,300 BULMA: No! I mean... 228 00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:39,700 ...ugh, maybe? 229 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,880 I found this hidden folder. [usually contains the porn] 230 00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:46,300 It was completely inaccessible to him, and it's full of incomplete and corrupted files. 231 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,400 But there's one undamaged video here. 232 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,000 DR. BRIEFS: Well, then, open 'er up! 233 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,540 Also, 5,000 zeni says it's interracial. 234 00:08:53,540 --> 00:08:54,100 BULMA: Ugh... 235 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,180 DR. BRIEFS [o-s]: Oh, *now* you find it gross! 236 00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:00,200 ???: May 12th, 750... 4:30 PM. 237 00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:01,700 Red Ribbon HQ. 238 00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:04,700 BULMA: Wait... why does that date sound familiar? 239 00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:06,700 ???: Hey, Dad. I, uh... 240 00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:10,100 I'm here at headquarters, getting everything put away. 241 00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:12,300 No bunkmate, so... 242 00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:13,920 ...room to myself... 243 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,200 ...which is good for a guy my size. 244 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:17,800 Heh... (sniff) 245 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:19,300 Well, uh... 246 00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:23,900 I just wanted to, you know... record something for you, since 247 00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:27,620 you and Uncle Frap are busy building robot guys and stuff. 248 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:31,780 I know you're calling them "artificial humans" now, but... 249 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:33,800 that name is way too long. 250 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,600 I mean, what about "cyborg"? 251 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,400 Like, from that movie we saw? 252 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:39,000 Hm. 253 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,980 Well, uh... just wanted you to know that I... 254 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:44,400 miss you, Dad. 255 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:45,500 [Alarms blaring] miss you, Dad. 256 00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:46,000 [Alarms blaring] What the— 257 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,900 SOLDIER [o-s]: Hey, get your ass moving! 258 00:09:47,900 --> 00:09:49,500 SOLDIER [o-s]: Some *thing* is tearing its way through the compound! 259 00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:50,800 KID GOKU [o-s]: Kaaa... SOLDIER [o-s]: Some *thing* is tearing its way through the compound! 260 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:51,900 KID GOKU [o-s]: meee... SOLDIER [o-s]: We've gotta go! 261 00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:53,000 KID GOKU [o-s]: meee... ???: Uhh... okay, sorry about this, Dad. 262 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,700 KID GOKU [o-s]: haaa... ???: Uhh... okay, sorry about this, Dad. 263 00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:56,700 KID GOKU [o-s]: meee... ???: Got to run. Love you. 264 00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:57,800 KID GOKU [o-s]: HAAAAAAAAAAAA! ???: Good luck with your cybor— 265 00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:58,300 [Static] 266 00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:00,000 [Another great character moment from TFS] 267 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,400 BULMA: ...*Jesus*! [Gero's hatred is no longer misplaced] 268 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,460 DR. BRIEFS: Yeah, that's a hell of a bomb to drop. 269 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,220 BULMA: Oh. That reminds me. 270 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,000 I also found this. [Dear DENDE!] 271 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:09,400 DR. BRIEFS: Huh. 272 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,800 At least Gero was consistent. 273 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,300 BULMA: By the way, you owe me 5,000 zeni. 274 00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,000 DR. BRIEFS [o-s]: Ah, daughter of a bastard! [Isn't that you though?] 275 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,360 PICCOLO [o-s]: ...and that's why we need you, Dende. 276 00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:22,300 DENDE: Okay, let me just clarify what has happened: 277 00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:23,300 THAT asshole— 278 00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:24,100 THAT ASSHOLE [o-s]: Name's Goku! 279 00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:29,600 DENDE: —literally kidnapped me from across the entire galaxy, with neither my knowledge or consent, 280 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:33,280 just so you could make me mystic you up a new set of Dragon Balls, 281 00:10:33,540 --> 00:10:36,500 because you are all a cavalcade of f*ck-ups. [Better name for a group of Nemakians] 282 00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:38,700 Did I miss anything? 283 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,500 PICCOLO: Well, we missed you. [Bullshit] 284 00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:42,400 DENDE: Good. No, great, that's great! 285 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,400 And what do I get out of this? Going to make me your king? 286 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,300 KRILLIN: Well, can't do that; King's a dog. 287 00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:48,620 But we can make you God, though! 288 00:10:48,860 --> 00:10:49,900 DENDE: The f*ck's a god? [You by the end of the episode] 289 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:51,500 I mean, what the f*ck's a dog?! [A adorable compainon] 290 00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:52,800 I MEAN, WHAT THE f*ck?! 291 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:57,540 POPO: As the creator of the Dragon Balls, you shall assume the throne of Kami, Guardian of this planet. 292 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,880 Nobody is thankful, there are no days off, and no one ever visits. 293 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,520 DENDE: Ugh, sounds like being a parent... [I mean, it kinda is] 294 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:06,900 Fine. I graciously accept the position of your almighty God. 295 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,180 TRUNKS: So then you'll help us? 296 00:11:08,180 --> 00:11:11,000 KAMI DENDE: No, bowlcut! I'm going to help Gohan. [Wait, I thought you liked the bowlcut? Gohan had one...] 297 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,400 Speaking of whom... lovin' the new 'do, Gohan. [Well nevermind then] 298 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:15,760 Rockin' that blond. 299 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,520 GOHAN: Oh! Uh... thanks! 300 00:11:17,780 --> 00:11:19,440 Super Saiyan style, you know? 301 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,200 LITTLE GREEN STEWIE: De-hee-lightful. 302 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:24,040 And, uh, have you been hitting the gym? 'Cause, uh... 303 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:25,000 (Whistle) 304 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:25,600 PICCOLO [o-s]: Ow! (Whistle) 305 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,100 LITTLE GREEN STEWIE: That hurt me more than it hurt you. 306 00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:31,140 PICCOLO: Okay, I'm all for awkward reunions, but we are on a timetable here. 307 00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:33,100 How long will it take to make a new Dragon? 308 00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:35,440 KAMI DENDE: Uh, depends. Do you have the original sculpture around? 309 00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:38,000 POPO: Here it is. We were using it as a paperweight. 310 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,760 Which reminds me: We'll need to go over the contract later. [There are contracts to being god, who knew] 311 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,300 KAMI DENDE: Wow, that's your Dragon? 312 00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:45,180 Our Dragon would literally wear him like a scarf. [#ShenronvsPorunga2018] 313 00:11:45,380 --> 00:11:48,740 Okay, before I get started: Any alterations? 314 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,000 PICCOLO: Can we get three wishes? 315 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,460 KAMI DENDE: Not if you want multi-res. 316 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,960 I can give you two, though. 317 00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:54,980 PICCOLO: Seems like an... awkward number. 318 00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:58,760 KAMI DENDE: It's a magical wish-granting dragon, Nail! I don't make the rules! [But aren't you from the Dragon Clan?] 319 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,080 Now... let us begin. 320 00:12:01,380 --> 00:12:05,600 KRILLIN [o-s]: Man, all this lore we're learning today, and we even get to see a new Dragon being made! 321 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,600 This is going to be awes— 322 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,480 KAMI DENDE: HEY, DRAGON, WAKE THE F*CK UP! 323 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:11,800 IT'S ALREADY PAST NOON! GET YOUR *LIFE* TOGETHER! 324 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,040 [Harsh Dende] 325 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:16,040 [Not his fault he can't get up that early] 326 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:18,040 [He relies on Kami and the other Dragon Clan Namekians] 327 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,040 [He doesn't need you condesending him the first chance you get] 328 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,040 [#LeaveShinronAlone] 329 00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:28,820 By the way, two wishes means I had to nix immortality. 330 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,700 Better that way—nobody pulling any more of that Freeza *shit*. 331 00:12:31,980 --> 00:12:34,400 GOHAN: Huh. I wonder if that'll upset Vegeta. [Of course it will] 332 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:35,760 Wait, 333 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:38,200 did you say he's still in the Chamber? 334 00:12:38,380 --> 00:12:39,300 TRUNKS: Yeah, why? 335 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,200 GOHAN [o-s]: It's been three days! 336 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,640 POPO: Oh, I muted the time dilation in the Chamber. 337 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,860 One day out here is now one day in there. 338 00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:47,040 GOHAN: You can do that?! [Popo is almighty] 339 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,700 Why did you do that?! 340 00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:49,800 POPO: Because f*ck'im. [Typical Popo logic XD] 341 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,920 KAMI DENDE: You really like screwin' with people, don't cha? 342 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:52,700 POPO: Mm. 343 00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:54,960 Of course, his first mistake was going in alone. 344 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,140 PICCOLO: Why? Is that... bad? 345 00:12:58,600 --> 00:12:59,900 CRAZY: They called me crazy... 346 00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:01,900 THEY ALL CALLED ME CRAZY 347 00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,900 for letting him achieve his perfect form! 348 00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:05,000 Well, guess what? 349 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,260 I'm going to get out of here! 350 00:13:06,260 --> 00:13:08,200 I'M GOING TO BE SO MUCH STRONGER! 351 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,000 NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO STOP ME! ESPECIALLY CELL! 352 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:12,880 RIGHT, NAPPA?! 353 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:14,100 WILSON/"NAPPA": ... 354 00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:14,800 [Clunk] WILSON/"NAPPA": ... 355 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:15,880 [LMAO] WILSON/"NAPPA": ... 356 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:16,880 VEGETA: How... 357 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,900 HOW DARE YOU?! 358 00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:20,720 RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH—!! [RAGE LEVEL IS OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAANNNNNN--] 359 00:13:21,660 --> 00:13:22,600 ["Nappa" sure did a number on him, eh? :P] 360 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:23,300 Showed him. ["Nappa" sure did a number on him, eh? :P] 361 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,080 MR. PERFECT CELL: So after everything, 362 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,580 he just starts *crying*! 363 00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:31,100 JOURNALIST: Wow... like a *bitch*! 364 00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:33,460 MR. PERFECT CELL: And that's what Freeza said! 365 00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:34,760 ...Before he killed him. 366 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:38,200 But, sadly, Vegeta does come back. 367 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:39,180 JOURNALIST: Dragon Balls, right. 368 00:13:39,380 --> 00:13:41,200 By the way, does the fat green one come back? 369 00:13:41,340 --> 00:13:42,000 'Cause he's funny. 370 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,300 MR. PERFECT CELL: (Scoffs) I wish! [Oh don't worry, he's been reincarnated...] 371 00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:45,000 GOKU: Hey, Chi-Chi? 372 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,700 Please don't be upset, but— 373 00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:49,200 CHI-CHI: What is it, sweetheart? ["The fuck do you want?] 374 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,500 GOKU: I'm throwing in the towel. 375 00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:52,100 I am *tapped*. 376 00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:54,160 Like, boned dry. 377 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,800 You know in those cartoons where the guy in the desert finds a faucet, 378 00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,600 and it just comes out like... 379 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:00,900 [puff!] [ When it's so good, you don't know when to stop] 380 00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:01,880 *That* is me. 381 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:03,880 That is my balls. 382 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:07,300 And speaking of balls, I need to go find a dragon's. [That's disgusting] 383 00:14:07,460 --> 00:14:10,200 CHI-CHI: Oh, Goku darling, that's fine! 384 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:11,640 I took a test this morning. 385 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,520 I'm already pregnant! 386 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,400 GOKU: ... 387 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:15,440 GOKU: ...HOW?! [Super Saiyan sperm speeds the process] 388 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,300 DR. BRIEFS: And so I told him, "Pull your pants up, man," 389 00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:19,700 "I'm not that kind of doctor!" 390 00:14:19,700 --> 00:14:20,200 [pop!] GOKU: Bulma! 391 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:20,700 GOKU: Bulma! 392 00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:22,100 Sex makes babies! [Somewhere, Luffy is having a panic attack] 393 00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:23,100 [Baby Trunks acts adorably] 394 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:24,760 BULMA: ...I'm well aware. ["Vegeta went Super Saiyan on me too"] 395 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,500 GOKU: Also, I need the Dragon Radar. 396 00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:28,000 BULMA [o-s]: Tool cabinet in the back, third drawer. 397 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:29,700 GOKU: Awesome! 398 00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:31,800 Bee-tee-dubs, we have Dragon Balls again. 399 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:32,300 Bye! 400 00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:33,800 BULMA: Wait, we didn't have Dragon Balls? 401 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:34,300 [pop!] BULMA: Wait, we didn't have Dragon Balls? 402 00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:37,560 {BZZZ} 403 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:38,060 [pop!] GOKU: Oh, and Chi-Chi's pregnant. 404 00:14:38,060 --> 00:14:39,000 GOKU: Oh, and Chi-Chi's pregnant. 405 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,400 BULMA: Oh my God, congratulations! 406 00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:47,360 DENDE'S AMATEUR LAWYER: Okay, so Article Five says that atrocities can *and will* be committed in your name... 407 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,000 ...but you can't do anything about it. 408 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,280 KAMI DENDE: Awesome. But, question: 409 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,460 Do I have to answer all of these prayers? 410 00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:57,000 DENDE'S AMATEUR LAWYER: Well, technically, you don't have to answer any of them. 411 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,240 KAMI DENDE: Oh, thank God! 412 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,300 Or I guess I should start saying... 413 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:01,400 me. [Narcissism rears its head once again] 414 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,100 GOHAN: That does raise the question... 415 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:04,640 Which do you prefer: 416 00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:07,100 Kami, God, or Dende? 417 00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:08,400 WHATEVER GOHAN LIKES: Oh, Gohan, 418 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,620 you can call me whatever you like. 419 00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:12,700 POPO: Well, I'm going to call you Little Green. 420 00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:13,800 LITTLE GREEN: Your funeral. 421 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:15,400 [Oh God why?!] {KILL IT WITH FIRE!} 422 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:16,800 POPO: *I like you*. [It will either be my BFF or bitch...] 423 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,580 KRILLIN: Don't feel bad, Mr. Popo. 424 00:15:18,580 --> 00:15:21,900 I'm his best friend, so that means only *I* can call him Little Green, 425 00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:22,600 right, Little Gree— 426 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:23,100 OOF! [Yeah, no. :P] 427 00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:24,380 DENDE DAIMAO: You will call me Dende! [That was satisfying. :D] 428 00:15:24,580 --> 00:15:25,160 DENDE! 429 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:26,140 SAY IT! 430 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:27,900 Say my name! [Pecking Order] 431 00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:28,720 DENDE'S BITCH: Dende! [About fucking time, too!] 432 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:29,340 DENDE'S BITCH: Dende! DENDE! [About fucking time, too!] 433 00:15:29,340 --> 00:15:30,300 DENDE: No... 434 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,500 *Super Kami Dende*. [Guru Incarnate] 435 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:37,360 [DBZ intermission (post-commercial)] 436 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,900 MR. PERFECT CELL: So after I finished humiliating the entire Saiyan royal bloodline, 437 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:46,960 I made my newsroom debut, delivered my immaculate address, 438 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,800 and now... here we are. 439 00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:50,300 Any more questions? 440 00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:51,180 JOURNALIST: Yeah, um... 441 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:55,300 were the parts about fake Namek and that Maron girl really necessary to the story? 442 00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:57,500 MR. PERFECT CELL: It's called "world-building". 443 00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:58,240 JOURNALIST: Right... 444 00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:00,060 ...um, last question: 445 00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:02,720 *How* did you know about the parts you weren't there for? 446 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,400 MR. PERFECT CELL: Ah, that's a story for another time, I'm afraid. 447 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,060 But for now, I must bid you adieu. 448 00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:10,000 JOURNALIST: Oh. 449 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,700 Well, thank you for your time, Perfect Cell. 450 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:13,700 [Energy blast] [Screams of indescribable anguish] 451 00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:15,400 [Screams of indescribable anguish] 452 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,300 PISSED BUG-MAN: MISTER... Perfect Cell. [Yep, the answer to that question @ 4:06 WASN'T "a Pulitzer". XD] 453 00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:19,100 [So much for that award... Sub guy 2: Fuck Cell man] 454 00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:20,300 KAISERNEKO: Hi there, I'm KaiserNeko! 455 00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:23,500 If you want to see more from us, click any of the fine annotations on the screen. 456 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:30,400 Also, catch the post-release stream at 6 PM CST at twitch.tv/streamfourstar. Find the link in the description. 457 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:35,200 If you want to support us monetarily, contribute to our Patreon, and thanks to all our current patrons... 458 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,200 ...and we'll see you all for DBcember! 459 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,200 ~Thank you for choosing Canada for your subbed experience, please come again :)~