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[Disclaimer read by Our Savior]

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[WARNING: These subtitles contain added commentary by the Team Four Star Community!
If you want the clean captions, please select the English option. Ta-ta~]

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MISTER PERFECT CELL: I'm making an *announcement*!

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MR. SATAN: I'm gonna squash you...

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MR. SATAN: I'm gonna squash you... like the bug.

6
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MR. SATAN: I'm gonna squash you... like the bug. You.

7
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MR. SATAN: I'm gonna squash you... like the bug. You. Are.

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CONTINUITY ANNOUNCER: ...to decide it all.

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MR. PER. CELL [distant]: Are you filming up there?

10
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[ RIP Jimmy, squashed like the Human he was ]

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CA: Join us as it all comes together...

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AT THE #CELLGAMES! ONLY ON ZTV! 
[TRENDIT]

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With your boi, Jimmy Firecracker, reporting live on-site,
[#cellgames YES, NEW EPISODE, SO MUCH HYPE]

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as the mighty Mister Satan takes on the Sinister Cell,
[Finally the #CellGames begins ... We're all gonna die!]

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in a no-holds-barred fight for the fate of the world!
[Forgot to hashtag who the sponsor is! #CellGames #SponsoredByHetap]

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Will it be humanity's last stand?!
 [Nope]
Or will the devil get his due?!
[Guess we'll just have to see #CellGames]

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Find out this Sunday at the Cell Games!
[I guess Saitama still stuck shopping? #CellGames] ( Don't we all wish Saitama could take on Goku, too bad the memes are dreams)

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Find out this Sunday at the Cell Games!
"Presented by HETAP".
[Holy shit! #CellGames]

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[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]

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♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫

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[ KRILLIN USE  TINY-DUCK JUTSU!]

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♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫
(With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)

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♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫
(Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)

24
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♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫
[Spoiler Warning!]

25
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[ Gohan: TRIGGEEEEEEERED]

26
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[hai]

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GOKU: ♫ Got my wristbands on and my boots are tied ♫
[Goku is a pretty good singer]

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♫ Gonna get my friends and fight a bug guy ♫
[For a fighter at least]

29
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♫ Doo, doo-doo, today is Fightin' Day ♫

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CHI-CHI: Goku! [THE MONSTER HAS ARRIVED]

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GOKU: Hey, Chi-Chi! You comin' with?

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CHI-CHI: What? No! I...
(I swear to god Goku)

33
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Ughh... look...
(..and I married him... should've gone for Yamcha. Wait what? No.)

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*You* already died once.

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*I* can take that.
(I would love that)

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I can make *peace* with that.
(Definitely make peace with that)

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You're a fighter; and to be honest... it's why I fell in love with you.
(Which everyday I'm starting to regret)
[Nah, it was 'cuz the Idiot Hero kicked your crotch]

38
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But Gohan?

39
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*Not* Gohan... [ why not, I mean, Dragon Balls and Got- sh** did I spoil it?]

40
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Not our baby boy.
(I'm warning you Goku)

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GOKU: Chi-Chi, come on, don't be like that!

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CHI-CHI: Goku~...

43
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GOKU: If Gohan dies, that means the world's
doomed anyway - so, what will it matter?
[Gee Goku, way to be supportive] (Have your Balls ready New Namek, I MEAN DRAGON BALLS, GOD pervs)

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[Wow, really Goku?]
[To be fair, he does have a point.]

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OK, for the record, we know that I'm not great at this...
[Goku, start running]

46
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but you know what I'm *good* at?
[Not being a father, that's for sure]

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CHI-CHI: Leaving?
[OHHH]

48
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GOKU: *Fighting*~! 
[And letting Freeza get to his full potential]
[and eating]

49
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[Instant Transmission: The only way to flee from your Hot Asian Wife]

50
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CHI-CHI: Agghhh...
[Instant Transmission: The only way to flee from your Hot Asian Wife]

51
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OX-KING: Maybe I'll get lucky and Cell and him will just kill each other.

52
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CHI-CHI: *Daddy*!
[XD]
[ooh~]

53
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OX-KING: Sweetie, I can only afford to support *two*
Saiyan mouths*, and you've got a bun in the oven.
[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

54
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[Here we go]

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ALL OTHERS: Huh?
GOKU: Hey, guys! Ha ha!

56
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GOKU: Hey, guys! Ha ha!

57
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Y'all ready for the... for-- for the... tournament...?

58
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Wow, did someone die?
[Way to lighten the possible mood]

59
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Oh gosh, where's Yamcha?!
[Yamcha got killed without dying]
[Goku with his finger on the show's pulse.]

60
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KRILLIN: Nobody's dead! 
[Except some of the people that tried to fight Cell before the game.] ( And the pupils, Hercules Pupils)

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PICCOLO: *Yet*.

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GOKU: Then why are you all so glum, chums?
[Goku. Do not. Say that. Again.] (say chums without the h ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )

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Come on! Today is Fightin' Day!

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KRILLIN: Goku, last time I fought Cell, he basically Tambourin'ed me.
[Nah, it was Freeza who did that. Or was it Dr. Gero?]
[No, it was Raditz. Poor little Raditz.]
[Let's just say it was everyone and call it a day.]

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PICCOLO: And he's gone through two transformations since we fought, so...

66
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still trying to come to terms on that one, really.
[TFW you realize Piccolo is the strongest non-Saiyan Z-Fighter]

67
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KRILLIN: Long story short:
We're basically just going for moral support.
[Not like this is new]

68
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GOKU: Oh, I know. But I'm just so excited, guys!

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I finally get to *punch him*!
[And maybe a little bit more...]

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Right in his handsome face!
[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ]

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PICCOLO: *Why* do you keep calling him "handsome"?
[We all know you think the same thing Piccolo, why else were you
fantasizing about him in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

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GOKU: Because that jawline don't lie and neither do I!
[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]
[Once again, Goku's got a point.]

73
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Now let's go! I don't want nobody gettin' a swing at Cell before me! 
[Swing and a miss.]

74
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KRILLIN: Ah, sure. Like anyone else would be *dumb* enough to show up...
[Oh, if you only knew.]

75
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JIMMY: Jimmy Firecracker here,
live from the Cell Games, presented by HETAP!
[Here's someone who's dumb enough.] ( Aren't Firecrackers supposed to blow up? WHY ISN'T HE DEAD?)

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Because apparently nobody else would take this job.
[I wonder why..]

77
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But don't worry about me.
[We weren't.]

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Because Jimmy Firecrack corn and he don't give a f**k!

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He'll take any job!

80
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He'll take any job!
He'll take every job!

81
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He'll take any job!
He'll take every job!
He'll take YER job!
[he tuk mhjeb]

82
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And speaking of jobs... 
[Pretty sure we're all looking for one job ;D]

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nobody else is here yet.
[Who in their right minds would?]

84
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Will Jimmy Firecracker have to get in that ring?

85
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Does Jimmy Firecracker gotta come down there
*and SLAP that perfect jawline*?!
[Ah. you have a kink for death wishes]

86
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It looks like Cell is saved the wrath of Jimmy Firecracker (true champ)
as his first opponent has arrived.

87
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I'm receiving words that This. Is. Him, Folks!

88
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I'm receiving words that This. Is. Him, folks! The Man!

89
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I'm receiving words that This. Is. Him, folks! The Man! The Legend!

90
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I'm receiving words that This. Is. Him, folks! The Man! The Legend!
The Winner Of The 24th World Martial Arts Tournament!
[THE SAVIOR HAS COME]

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MISTERR

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MISTERR SATANNNN! 
(Hail Satan)
[If nobody knew any better, Hercule would be pretty intimidating!]

93
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MR. PER. CELL: Maybe shouldn't have made this an open invite... 
[You see this, folks? This is the face of regret.]

94
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JIMMY: The Champ has stepped up into the ring!
[But you're still on the hill]

95
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Better update that TV-PG to TV-MA, 'cuz
you're about to see a *full-blown-massacre*!
[Viewer discretion is advised]

96
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,220
Wait, what's this?
[Mr. Satan's trying to look cool and failing miserably, that's what]

97
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[Mr. Satan's trying to look cool and failing miserably, that's what]

98
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The Champ is calling us down!
[Yes, stand closer to the super-powered bug man]

99
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Come on, Larry! What do I always say?!

100
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LARRY: Where there's smoke, there's Firecracker, sir!
[Get this man an Oscar] [There is also death and destruction]

101
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JIMMY [off-screen]: Yer

102
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JIMMY [off-screen]: Yer god

103
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JIMMY [off-screen]: Yer goddamn

104
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JIMMY [off-screen]: Yer goddamn right!

105
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Mr. Satan, sir!

106
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What do you have to say to your adoring public?

107
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[Mr Satan:I. Have. A. Hot. Asian. Wife]

108
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MR. SATAN: First, to all the kids at home:

109
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*Do not* recreate the violence you are about to see.
[Yeah, you'd need a nearby mountain and a mop for that.]

110
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[Crowd cheers]

111
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[Crowd cheers]
Unless you buy the new *Mr. Satan Action Figure!*
[So homicidal minors are acceptable then?]

112
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,120
[Crowd cheers]
On sale now, in stores everywhere!
[With a low price of Ƶ299.99]

113
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JIMMY: And why, Mr. Satan, have you come here today?

114
00:04:46,060 --> 00:04:48,420
MR. SATAN: Well, aside from being sponsored by HETAP,

115
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[Crowd cheers]
MR. SATAN NEVER BACKS DOWN FROM A CHALLENGE!
[Don't you mean always?]

116
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[Crowd cheers]
[I would kill for a HETAP]
[I'll kill you for that HETAP][ ILL KILL YOU ALL FOR THAT HETAP]

117
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[Crowd cheers]
MR. SATAN: Not when it comes to evil!

118
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MR. SATAN: Not when it comes to evil! Vile!

119
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MR. SATAN: Not when it comes to evil! Vile! Wretched!

120
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MR. SATAN: Not when it comes to evil! Vile! Wretched! Contemptible!

121
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[Crowd cheers]
MR. SATAN: Not when it comes to evil! Vile! Wretched! Contemptible!
Wicked! [5]

122
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[Crowd cheers]
MR. SATAN: Not when it comes to evil! Vile! Wretched! Contemptible!
Wicked! Monstrous! [6]

123
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MR. PER. CELL: *Definitely* shouldn't have made this an open invite...
MR. SATAN: Not when it comes to evil! Vile! Wretched! Contemptible!
Wicked! Monstrous! Inhuman! [7]

124
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MR. PER. CELL: *Definitely* shouldn't have made this an open invite...
MR. SATAN: Not when it comes to evil! Vile! Wretched! Contemptible!
Wicked! Monstrous! Inhuman! Dishonorable! [8]

125
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:04,820
MR. SATAN: Not when it comes to evil! Vile! Wretched! Contemptible!
Wicked! Monstrous! Inhuman! Dishonorable! Nefarious...! [9]

126
00:05:08,820 --> 00:05:11,380
GOHAN: Oh, hey! It's Tenshinhan and Yamcha!
[You mean Tenshinhan and Jesus' Incarnate?]

127
00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:13,540
GOKU: Hiya, guys? How ya doin'?

128
00:05:13,740 --> 00:05:15,080
TENSHINHAN: Just heading towards the arena.

129
00:05:15,420 --> 00:05:19,920
Vegeta passed us earlier; flipped us off.
So that was a good way to start the morning.

130
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JESUS' INCARNATE: Yeah, but we totally flipped him off back.

131
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,340
TENSHINHAN: *I* flipped him off back.
You just waved and laughed nervously.

132
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JESUS' INCARNATE: Look, I don't have your mutually-sustained
hate-boner for the guy, OK?
[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

133
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,720
TENSHINHAN: I don't have a *hate-boner* for him.
[Yeah you do ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ]

134
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,620
JESUS' INCARNATE: Dude, it's a pretty hateful boner.
[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

135
00:05:34,260 --> 00:05:35,440
MR. SATAN: ...Baneful! [8,999]

136
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,000
MR. SATAN: ...Baneful! Iniquitous! [9,000]
[Scouter explodes] [Not yet, at 9,001 >:/]

137
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,140
MR. SATAN: ...Baneful! Iniquitous! Execrable...! [9,001]
(Over 9000 on the scale?)
[Probably a dubbing error.] [NOW IT EXPLODES]

138
00:05:39,140 --> 00:05:39,720
MR. SATAN: ...Baneful! Iniquitous! Execrable...! *Villain*

139
00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:40,400
MR. SATAN: ...Baneful! Iniquitous! Execrable...! *Villain like*

140
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:41,180
MR. SATAN: ...Baneful! Iniquitous! Execrable...! *Villain like you*!

141
00:05:41,180 --> 00:05:42,600
[Crowd cheers]
[Has it been 20 hours already?]
[I think I left my oven on.]

142
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:43,720
Now...
[No, only 5 minutes]

143
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,260
what d'ya haf'ta say ta THAT?!
(WHEN?! I MEAN HOW?!)

144
00:05:46,260 --> 00:05:47,220
(Oh.. why do I have to deal with this today...)
[MPC is non-plussed. as well as reconsidering the conditions of the #CellGames]

145
00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:50,880
Oh, what's the matter? Satan gotcha tongue?
[not gonna question how Satanic that sounds]

146
00:05:51,020 --> 00:05:52,380
MR. PER. CELL: Are you sure about this? (honest question)

147
00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:54,020
MR. SATAN: Speak up, bug-boy!

148
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,060
PER. CELL: You look like an extra from a budget porno flick.
[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) OOOOH]
[Well, he's not wrong]
[And he's being honest]

149
00:05:57,060 --> 00:05:59,340
The kind where *everyone* gets tested afterwards.
[Still not wrong.]

150
00:05:59,340 --> 00:06:00,580
Even the cameraman.
[Gross, but still not wrong.]

151
00:06:00,580 --> 00:06:02,160
"PORNO FLICK EXTRA": Oh... um, you're--
[That hit close to home.]

152
00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,460
MR. PER. CELL: Did they find you in the subway? Were you homeless? [Memories flood back to Mr. Satan.]

153
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,500
Did you get your start in bum fights?
[Is Cell psychic?]

154
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,000
HOMELESS "PORNO FLICK EXTRA":This is getting oddly personal...
[You know it!]

155
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,880
MR. PER. CELL: Do you have any actual friends?

156
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:13,200
Any relationships at all that aren't about your money or your position? 
[Honest question)

157
00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:14,760
MR. MARK HERCULE" SATAN A.K.A. HOMELESS "PORNO FLICK EXTRA" THAT HAS NO FRIENDS: ...I have a daughter.

158
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,600
MR. PER. CELL: Ohh, that poor orphan
[... Ouch]

159
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,300
MR. MARK HERCULE" SATAN A.K.A. HOMELESS "PORNO FLICK EXTRA" THAT HAS NO FRIENDS: C-- can we cut to commercial? ಠ_ಠ
[I think some nerves got struck.]

160
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:20,740
[Oh thank you Vegeta for saving us from that awkward mess of an introduction.]

161
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:22,100
[YES. VEGETA. COMEDY. NOW.]

162
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,320
JIMMY: Another man has just touched down at the arena! [litterally]

163
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:28,340
Uh-uh-sir! Are you looking to take on the terrifying Perfect Cell?
[This guy should be dead. Like. Right now.]

164
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:32,080
VEGETA: Get that mic out of my face before
I give you a colonoscopy with your camera. (ง'̀-'́)ง
[Vegeta as equally non-plussed right now.]

165
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:35,200
JIMMY: Message received, violent stranger!
[ you mean, violent savior?]
[SHITSHITSHITSHIT]

166
00:06:35,380 --> 00:06:37,260
MR. PER. CELL: Answer the question, Prince!

167
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,440
Do you plan to take me on?
(♪Take on me.♪)

168
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,140
Because I'm ready to throw down when you are, buddy!
[So he's your buddy now?]

169
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:45,740
Come on, let's toss you through a mountain or five for old times' sake.

170
00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:46,760
[If looks could kill.]

171
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,620
...The old "silent treatment", is it?

172
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:53,360
Don't tell me you came all the way out here
just to stand around and look mean~! (Chuckles)

173
00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:55,360
MR. PER. CELL: Ohhh~, I see! You took my advice~!

174
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:56,480
VEGETA: (Growling)
MR. PER. CELL: Ohhh~, I see! You took my advice~!

175
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:57,120
MR. PER. CELL: Ohhh~, I see! You took my advice~!

176
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You're waiting for...

177
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ANDROID 16 [o-s]: Goku!
[Is the "Goku"-button broken?]

178
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MR. PER. CELL: Hm?
Is the "Goku"-button broken?]

179
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My dear Android 16!

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How *wonderful* for you to join us today!

181
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Are you here for--

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16: Goku!

183
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,960
MR. PER. CELL: Of course; your little murder-crush.
[It's a pretty hateful murder-crush]

184
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JIMMY: And another mysterious stranger has appeared from thin air!
[You could even call it a 'hate boner'( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

185
00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:15,100
Where do these people keep coming from?
[The real question: Does 16 have a d*ck?]

186
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And who does their hair?!
[Krillin. Bulma. Dr. Briefs]

187
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:21,040
MR. SATAN: Obviously they're just hidin' behind rocks,
waitin' to make their dramatic entrances,

188
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and usin' cranes and wires to make it look like they're flyin'.
[How's that tinfoil hat feel?]

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Similar to the practical effects we used in

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[Crowd cheers]
Skygina II: Mr. Satan Vs Doctor Boy-Man!

191
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[Crowd cheers]
In theaters Friday!
[Is there going to be a Friday?]

192
00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:34,520
MR. PER. CELL: Will you be participating in the Games as well, Sixteen?

193
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Or are you just going to sit on the sidelines like the Prince over here?

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00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:37,460
VEGETA: Hmm.
Or are you just going to sit on the sidelines like the Prince over here?

195
00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:38,240
16: GOKU!
[Say his name three times and he shall appear.]

196
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,780
MR. PER. CELL: OK, are you seriously just gonna say his name over and over?
[Say his name three times and he shall appear.]

197
00:07:40,780 --> 00:07:41,880
16: HE IS HERE!
[16 moves the plot forward like no other]

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00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:42,540
MR. PER. CELL: Hm?

199
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:47,360
[DRAMATIC FEET ENTRY]

200
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,360
[WHY, did Vegeta's feet appear? w8 that was Trunks, sh*t]

201
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And our roster is complete.
[Not until we get Waluigi!]

202
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,880
I hope this day finds you well, Son Goku.

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GOKU: Slept a little weird on my arm, but, yeah.

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MR. PER. CELL: I see you've brought the whole gang along to witness our battle.

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Piccolo,

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00:08:03,460 --> 00:08:04,300
Piccolo, Trunks...
[That's princess Trunks to you]

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00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:05,420
Piccolo, Trunks... [Wait where'd his shirt go?]

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Piccolo, Trunks...*Tenshinhan*.

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00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:08,660
TENSHINHAN: Ki-ko-how ya doing? (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞
[THE DISRESPECT]

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MR. PER. CELL: *Perfect*.
(He's first on my shit list.)

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And Yamcha! What a surprise!
How's it going, man? 
[THANK GOD WE HAVE YAMCHA]

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YAMCHA: Oh, uh, good...

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I brought towels and water bottles.

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MR. PER. CELL: And like that, you've already contributed more than Vegeta. 
[Anyone else smell smoke?]
{Probably the nicest anybody has been to Yamcha}

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16 [o-s]: Hello, little duckling.

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00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:24,260
Little Duckling.: He-hey, Sixteen!
Looks like they fixed up your dome real nice, huh buddy?

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16: Indeed. I am now operating at 100% efficiency.
[So he basically said "yes" twice"]

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And for some reason, register 10 kilograms lighter.
[Oh the foreshadowing]

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KRILLIN: Good on ya, buddy! Ya look great!

220
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:36,160
GOKU: Oh, hi! I'm Son Goku!
Who are you?

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[♫ I Have Waited So Long ♫]

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Huh?

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16: ♫ I have waited oh so long ♫

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00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:45,120
[creepy but ok

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♫ Please don't tell me baby ♫

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♫ I was wrong ♫

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♫ Dreaming of you every night ♫

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♫ Holding back until the time was right ♫

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00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:09,140
♫ I've counted the days ♫

230
00:09:09,140 --> 00:09:10,260
[Music cuts-off]
(Damn, I was getting into that.)

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[Don't worry. TFS will bring out the whole music cover. Hopefully.]

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GOKU: ...This guy's *intense*.
[That singing was absolutely *PERFECT*]

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MR. SATAN: Yeah, uh, I get paid for every second I'm on camera, so if we could just--

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JIMMY: Excuse me, sir? Are you or any of your freakish-looking
friends participating in the tournament today?

235
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,900
GOKU: Oh yeah! I'ma go punch that Cell a lot!

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In fact, if you don't mind, I'ma gun go do that right now!

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MR. SATAN: *OK, enough*!

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MR. SATAN: *OK, enough*!
JIMMY: Aah!

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[You survived a shove from Our Savior, you are the CHOSEN ONE]

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F**k!
[You survived a shove from Our Savior, you are the CHOSEN ONE]

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MR. SATAN: I am not playing second-fiddle to
a buncha gym rats with too much time on their hands!

242
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*I* am the World Martial Arts Champion,
and *I* will be the one to defeat Cell!

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GOKU: (Gasp!)

244
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:46,440
There was a tournament?
[Yep you missed it]

245
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:47,780
You won a tournament?!
[Satan's face. Does nobody remember Goku was a champion too?]

246
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*I* WON A TOURNAMENT!
[You two have so much in common!]

247
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,920
That means he's even stronger than Krillin!
[Add another to the list.]

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KRILLIN: Wait, hold u-- uh, why me specifically?!
[You're the one with the "Krillin Owned Count" :P]
{It's also more of a feat than being stronger than Yamcha}

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GOKU: Dang it, and I really wanted a turn!

250
00:09:56,980 --> 00:09:59,960
Oh well. I guess we'll just have to let *The Champ* handle it.

251
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:01,680
PICCOLO: Are you for real right now?
[Yes. He is.]

252
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:04,700
GOKU: Yeah - he's The Champ!
He's got this.

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00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,920
PICCOLO [To the audience]: I can't tell if he's serious - and that's very concerning.

254
00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:11,380
MR. MARK HERCULE" SATAN A.K.A. HOMELESS "PORNO FLICK EXTRA" THAT HAS NO FRIENDS: Good! Now that we have rank all sorted out,

255
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:15,320
I think it's about time I teach Cell where he falls:

256
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,640
Specifically at my feet!
[Sounds kinky]

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00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:23,640
When I, MR. SATAN [A.K.A. HOMELESS "PORNO FLICK EXTRA" THAT HAS NO FRIENDS], end this little freak-show, once and for--

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00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:28,600
PIIZA [through speakers]: Hope y'all ready to get down
and dirty with the three hottest stars from the Y Network! [Sounds kinky enough ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

259
00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:33,780
JIMMY: What's this? New challengers from the bitter rivals of ZTV?!

260
00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:36,740
HOMELESS "PORNO FLICK EXTRA" THAT HAS NO FRIENDS: Like we don't got enough knuckleheads hogging mah spotlight!
{Their network doesn't even promote hetap}

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00:10:36,740 --> 00:10:40,580
PIIZA [ts]: Coming to you live from the Cell Games Arena, it's Piiza!

262
00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:41,640
PIROSHIKI [ts]: Piroshiki!

263
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:42,960
CARONI [ts]: And Caroni!

264
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:43,740
And we are--

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00:10:44,540 --> 00:10:45,520
[DEAD]
[YES!!!]

266
00:10:46,060 --> 00:10:47,160
[Look! I can see their parachutes! They're okay!]

267
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,320
[It looks more like an arm...]

268
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,380
[Thank you, Cell. Sincerely, the entire DBZ fandom.]

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00:10:50,540 --> 00:10:51,360
JIMMY: ...Di--
[That one's gotta hurt]

270
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,100
...Did those people just die?

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00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:55,560
HOMELESS "PORNO FLICK EXTRA" THAT HAS NO FRIENDS: Pfft! Don't be an idiot, Jimmy.

272
00:10:55,560 --> 00:11:00,560
Obviously that was just an unmanned
remote-controlled cargo robot with a voice-recordi--
[This f**king idiot.]

273
00:11:00,580 --> 00:11:01,480
[THAT REAL ENOUGH FOR YA', CHAMP?]

274
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:04,340
...and filled with fake cadavers for added effect!
[This f**king idiot x2.]

275
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,760
I'll give 'em points for effort, tho.
{and I give you points for foolishness}

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00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,640
JIMMY: Mr. Satan ain't *no one's* fool!
[You wait and see.]

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00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:10,740
GOKU: Go Champ!
[I SWEAR TO MOTHERF**KING DENDE]

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00:11:10,740 --> 00:11:12,440
HOMELESS "PORNO FLICK EXTRA" THAT HAS NO FRIENDS: Grrrrrh!
[That has to hurt.]
[It's Satan. He wasn't using it.]

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00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,260
KRILLIN: If we're lucky, it'll be that quick with this Satan guy, uh?

280
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:17,420
GOHAN: Krillin, people are dying and we're just watching.
[Fantastic summary of the series so far.]

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00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:18,100
KRILLIN: Yup!
(Finally, not me!)

282
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:22,620
HOMELESS "PORNO FLICK EXTRA" THAT HAS NO FRIENDS: Now, Cell... if that is your real name...

283
00:11:22,620 --> 00:11:23,820
MR. PER. CELL: It's actually *Perfect* Cell--
(Mister Perfect Cell if you're being informal--)

284
00:11:23,820 --> 00:11:26,160
HOMELESS "PORNO FLICK EXTRA" THAT HAS NO FRIENDS: IT'S ACTUALLY "GARBAGE"!
[Roasted]

285
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:30,640
And Mr. Satan's gonna take out the trash.

286
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:33,600
GARBAGE: Wait, you were serious?!
You're actually gonna *fight*? (Genuine shock)

287
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,140
I thought you were just somebody's hype man.

288
00:11:35,260 --> 00:11:36,820
THE HYPE: I AM THE HYPE!

289
00:11:36,820 --> 00:11:37,320
[ooooh]

290
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:37,820
[oh sh*t]

291
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,000
VEGETA: KILL HIM!
[For stealing your line?]
[Who are you cheering for exactly]
[Only Vegeta can be the hype!]

292
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,900
HOMELESS "PORNO FLICK EXTRA" THAT HAS NO FRIENDS THAT WANTS TO BE THE HYPE: Now try to get this on camera, Gary!
[And grab an umbrella...]

293
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:46,060
Gary [o-s]: L-- Larry.
[..lots of flying debris in trainwrecks.]: 'Cus I'm gonna end this in a single blow, and it's gonna be
[Saitama isn't gonna like this.]

294
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:47,860
*faster than light*!

295
00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:49,800
SATAN...

296
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:50,820
SATAN... PUUUU--!
[Hmm.... Yep.]

297
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:52,220
*Splat*

298
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,240
[Is he dead?]

299
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:55,680
[Aren't there paramedics]

300
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:56,880
[What kind of tournament DOESN'T have paramedics]

301
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,340
{Prolly this one since it was set up by a being bent on destroying the Earth}

302
00:11:58,340 --> 00:12:00,200
[Ok, someone really needs to check his pulse]

303
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:03,280
BYSTANDER: ...WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!
[Seriously though, even Stevie Wonder saw that coming]

304
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:07,080
[DBZ intermission]
[Cue "It's The End of the World As We Know It"]

305
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:14,480
[♫ I Have Waited So Long ♫]

306
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:17,020
[Fade-out]
[♫ I Have Waited So Long ♫]

307
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:19,740
16: Hello,mynameisSixteen,mayIpleasekillyou?

308
00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:21,460
GOKU: [To Krillin] Hold on.
[To 16] What'cha say?

309
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:23,280
16: ...Nothing.
[Now THAT'S a hate boner if I ever saw one.]

310
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:24,640
[Now THAT'S a hate boner if I ever saw one.]

311
00:12:25,180 --> 00:12:29,160
♫ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ♫

312
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,160
Hey folks! KaiserNeko here!

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00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:38,320
Make sure to check out our gaming channel as well as our post-release stream at 6PM Central at twitch.tv/streamfourstar. Link in the description.

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00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:41,900
Also, make sure to check out all the "Cell Vs" videos leading up to this episode,

315
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:46,780
plus our two new shirts at sharkrobot.com:
"All Hail Princess Trunks" and Satan's "I Am The Hype."

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00:12:46,780 --> 00:12:49,160
Link in the description and I'll see you next episode!
(Canadan captions presented in-part by Kazood & Piano and the Team Four Star Community.) (Put name here if edited : The Banana Overlord, )