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(Disclaimer read by Larry the Lousy Martial Artist) (Who is still better than Mr. Satan) {Stronger than Mr. Satan anyways}

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Welcome to canadian subtitles, these have added awesomeness  added to them for your convenience.

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[Please try to keep the added subtitles clean.]
[Seperate each subtitle so it's not all bunched up. Also, try not to add too many subtitles to one line. I'm sure no one wants to pause the video every 10 seconds in order to read everything.]

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(Enjoy the show.!)  (Please do Theres a long hiatus comin.)

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(Mysterious tune)
[is that zelda ?] {yep}

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(EXTREME CLOSE-UP)

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SUPER KAMI DENDE: (Annoyed) I CAN'T SEE SHIT!! (cause your eyes are closed you dumbass)

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SUPREME GOD OF DESTRUCTION POPO: I told you before, you have to-
(Know the Pecking Order?)

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SPK DENDE: Clear my mind of all other thoughts! 
(Sounds like some Obi-wan type shit)

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Yeah, PRIMO advice. 
[DON'T MOCK LORD POPO LITTLE GREEN!] 
(DON'T FORGET THE PECKING ORDER!)

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Might as well ask me to herd STARG-KNOTHS... (What?)

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THE BLACK DEVIL: I'm going to assume those are similar to cats?
(Why would you assume that?) [Cause he's Popo]

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SPK Dende: Oh no, they EAT cats...
 [as long as  they don't eat pussycats, I'm fine with them] {w-what?}

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....exclusively.
 [Ths could be taken out of context, but nah]

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ME-DAMMIT, I WANNA WATCH THE STUPID FIGHT!!  [Idk if you have heard of this invention but it is called a TV which everyone else is using to watch the fight]

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ZENO'D: Tell me.

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What thoughts are clouding your mind?
(i think we ALL know the answer to that question)
[wink wink]

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DENDE'S PERVERTED THOUGHTS: *sleazy piano music* Hey Dende! Could you put this lotion on my back and/or butt?
(SEE?! I KNEW IT) [I ship it] {I don't...}

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SPK  DENDE: Mmm... God Stuff.
(Uh-huh... sure... "God stuff..." let's go with that.) [Gohan's ass transcends asexuality confirmed]

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POPO: (Clearly not convinced.) Well, worry not. All we really need is a little green. 
[O SNAP]

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LITTLE GREEN: I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT.
[Pecking order, Dende. Pecking order~.]

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DRUG DEALER: I'm not~. 
(Can I get some of that?) 
{me too!} [me three!]

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JAMAICAN: ..... Yo~ 
(How does he know what weed is but doesn't know what a dog is) [It's green, he is probably related to it]
[Do not XD, 500$ penalty]

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[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]

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♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫

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♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫
(With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)

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♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫
(Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)

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♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫

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(Satisfied sound brought to you by Hetap. #Cellgames) [Man, I'd kill for a Hetap]

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(Let's just enjoy this fight)
{Yeah Dont let the fact that if they lose, the world will blow up and Cell will destroy everything in his path with no one able to stop him}

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[That foot work tho]

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[I almost forgot Goku was a good martial artist]
(That's cause the man acts like an idiot more often than he fights.)

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(Boom, right in the jawline)

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DADDY-JIMMY FIRECRACK-CORN-AND-HE-DON'T-GIVE-A-F*CK: MY GOD...

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JIMMY FIRECRACK-CORN-AND-HE-DON'T-GIVE-A-F*CK: MY GOD... What feats of incomparable skill and might!

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What power!

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What Speed!

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WHAT A BATTLE 
[I know right , it's great]

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WHAT A BATTLE-IS WHAT I'D BE SAYING if they were in the ring; 
[but then there's you three]

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Where are they-? 
[Disqualification??]

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DBZ LOGIC: Maybe they're moving at speeds too fast for the human eye? 
~Then why can WE see them?!~

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(HALLELUJAH GIVE THE MAN A PRIZE.)
I could try using the High Shutter Camera-

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BOOTLEG HULK HOGAN: Jerry, 
(NO YOU SHUT UP) [Just let him talk, man.]

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You're a terrific camera guy, but a LOUSY Martial Artist.
[Says the guy who got punched to a mountain]

45
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Nobody's that fast! 
[My god you should have been killed]

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They're just using camouflage! Like the Predator!
[Or that invisible man that Goku fought] 
~Or Princess Snake~

47
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[SHUT UP or I will shove my arm DOWN YOUR THROA-]
Or Harry Potter.
[Or Frodo]

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(OH THANK GOD, the Anti-idiocy squad.)
[when you think about it Mr satan is the 6th strongest human at this point]

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(Which is ironic since one of it's best members, is, in fact, an idiot.)
[Krillin, Tien, Chiaotzu Chi-Chi Yamcha, then Satan]

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JIMMY: ..... Harry Potter, sir?
(Never expected that did ya ?)

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MR. SATAN: My daughter's a big fan.
[Right?]

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(Well at least she has taste.)
[Better than her dad...]

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(BOOM RIGHT IN THE PERFECT JAWLINE.)

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[Cell : Right back at ya ;P]

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MR. PERFECT CELL: Good Goku, very good. This is exactly what I've been looking for!

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*chuckle*

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Oh, you know... When I became perfect, I was a little scared. 
[Personal problem ?]

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Scared that I'd never be able to test these abilities!
[anything else you want to test with goku?]

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Like a master surgeon without a patient. (Odd analogy, but I guess it makes sense)

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PATIENT: Or a Grill without a burger.
(Only you, Goku. Only you.)
[This one was actually good.]

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MASTER SURGEON: YES, YOU GET IT GOKU! And that's why we're here today;
[wait... what?]
(To grill burgers?)
{Nah to get more patients for the doctors}

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You are the only one who can complete me, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
(TMI, Dude... TMI)
~Wait...wasn't that why you ate 17 & 18?!~

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COMPETE WITH ME ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[Shonen anime, Cell, calm down]

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All the others? Ah, they mean NOTHING. 
[They mean more than hercule satan anyway]
(Except Yamcha)

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This tournament,

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This tournament, this ring,
[YOU GU AREN'T EVEN FIGHTING ON THE RIGHT]

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They're all for you~!

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So we could have our PERFECT BATTLE.
[Turns into raspy imp. cell]

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GOKU: ..... Well, honestly you didn't need to go this far. (CELL: Why's that)

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I'm just here for a fight
[speaking of fighting, GET ON WITH IT!]

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MR. PERFECT CELL: Dende.... That's what I adore about you.

72
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You're so simple.
[You mean stupid]
(They usually call those kind of people *special* )

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That's what nobody else understands!
~Y'know, except for EVERY SINGLE Z FIGHTER!~

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Now then... How about we slip into something more...

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COMFORTABLE? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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(Goku finally gets something right...)
Goku: Wait, I'm confused. Are you asking me to get naked?

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Cause I'm not gonna say no, 
[What a miracle we have witness- uhhhhh What.]

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But I shouldn't say yes- 
[uhhhhh]
(Chichi will castrate you)

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(THERE'S THE REALIZATION.)
Oh, crap, GUYS!!!!

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~"Zeeky Boogy Doog"!~
 (KABOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!)(Shit exploded)

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(Rubble settling...)

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(Oh.. Dende... A-Are they alive...?)

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KRILLIN: Heh, looks like there's a... HOLE in the ring!
(Lets let him have this one he only dreams of marriage)
[18 likes them desperate] {Oh thank fuck they are alive}

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(Krillin laughing)

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GOHAN: ... REALLY?

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BITCH HUMAN: LET ME COPE!!
GOHAN: ... REALLY?

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(Jimmy just had his corn popped)

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JIMMY: Um...

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OTHER BITCH HUMAN: Thank-tha-thank you for saving us, m-m-mister, uh-

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16: 16. Android 16,
[Bird lover, bomb carrie-nvm, king of westeros and the seven kingdoms, sole ruler of the iron throne.]

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ZTV'S LATEST EMMY MAGNET: Anything you'd like to say to the audience-?

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DADDYBOT: I want to murder Son Goku!
[So do I at times] (daddybot?)
(Perfect timing buddy)

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ACCESSORY TO MURDER THREATS: Well, you... Heard it here first folks...

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Random Viewer: Yeah, F*** Goku!
(Shut up, Grant!)

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(OKAY SERIOUSLY WHO ARE YOU.) {probably someone who tried going to space australia but got lost on the way}

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MR. PERFECT CELL: I'd feel worse about all the time I spent making our perfect ring... 
[I mean, you had to patch that hole. You basically replaced a hole with an even *bigger* hole!]

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But now that it's gone...

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WE CAN FIGHT UNABATED. 
(GROSS)
~So basically you never had a ring-out rule...~

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GOKU: Chichi told me that makes you grow hair on your eyes.
[How does that even work?]
[Its Goku guys. Think too hard and you get an aneurysm]

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MR. PERFECT CELL: .....

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MR. PERFECT CELL: ..... KILLING YOU will be the HARDEST THING I ever ENJOY.
[ok then]

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(WHOOOOSH!!!)

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(BOOM!!!!!)

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~*Cell's attempt at a Bert laugh*~
[Cell your inner Vegeta is showing] 
(He's aming where he is, instead of where he's going to be!)

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THE UNLUCKIEST CAMERMAN IN THE WORLD: Sir, what's our life insurance policy?

106
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JIMMY: Same as our ethics policy!!!
(So nonexistant?)

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A VERY BRAVE CAMERAMAN: THEN I'M REAL GLAD I DON'T HAVE A FAMILY!!!!!
(I'll take that as a yes)

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(KABOOOOOOM!!!!!!!)

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MR. PERFECT CELL: Huh-??

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KRILLIN: Huh, what's he doing up there? Ooh, you think he's going for a solar flare?!

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A KAME-AND-A HAME-AND-A-SEND-EM'-HOME-TA-MOMMY: KAAAAAA...
[Wait that's the kamehameha]

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(NOPE-!!!!)
PICCOLO: That's NOT how the solar flare works!!!
(YOU DON'T F*CKING SAY!!!)

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MR. PERFECT CELL: He... he can't be serious-..!
(Either he is playing dumb or actually serious)
[It's Goku, technically he's ALWAYS playing dumb]

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GOKU: MEEEEEE...
(Ok he is serious!)

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PRINCESS TRUNKS: Getting dad flashbacks here-!!!!!!!
(You don't say princess?)
{To be fair, Vegan did try to blow up the planet not too long ago)

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DAD FLASHBACKS: *HAAAAAAAA...*
(No no no no no!)

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MR. PERFECT CELL: Ha.. HAHAHAHA-!!. I see!

118
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Yes, Goku! You're absolutely right. This is the only way it can end!!!!! 
(He could just steal Tien's Shin Ki Ko Ho)

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This Tournament!

120
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This Tournament! These fools!!

121
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This Tournament! These fools! This planet!!
(OH CRAP EVEN VEGGIE IS PISSING HIS PANTS)

122
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They mean nothing to men like you and I!!!
~And now that we know Cell's pronoun...~

123
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We will go out together,
[You mean, you'll finish together, right?]

124
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*IN A BALL OF MOLTEN ROCK AND DEATH!!!!!!!*
(so... an asteroid field)
~Sounds fun! When's the ball?~

125
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GOKU: *MEEEEE...*
(NO GOKU THINK OF THE MUFFINS!)

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KRILLIN: (Sporting a new wet spot on his pant leg.) GOKU NO!! 
(YES LISTEN TO BALDY!)
~"Daddy no!!"~

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MR. PERFECT CELL: YYYEEEESSS!!!!!! 
~"Daddy yes~!!!"~

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(POP)

129
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(POP)

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[......]

131
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[Oh.]

132
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[Somehow i completely forgot about that.]

133
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MR. PERFECT CELL: Oh...... Crap BASKEEEEETS! 
{Oh, you say that too.}
(Well, he DOES have Gohan's cells.)
[Clever girl]

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GOKU: HAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

135
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(KABOOM!!!!!!!)
(GGWP)
(Deflinitely one of Goku's smartest moments

136
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(⊙▃⊙)

137
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(the silence is real)

138
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USELESS GUY #1: Larry, are you alive??? 
{Wait for it}

139
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USELESS GUY #2: Somehow, sir!

140
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USELESS WASTE OF FILLER #1: Then get back out there Larry! 
[Still does more than Yamcha*.]
(*Filler loser #3.)

141
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[Donate $5 today to stop the abuse of Larrys everywhere]
(You mean Canadian Dollars)

142
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~Seems he's...HALF THE MAN HE USED TO BE!~

143
00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:05,280
YAMCHA: Ha! Well those guys for the camera better stop rolling -  cause looks like Cell's going topless! Ha-ha!
[Someone murder Yamcha pls]
(Yamcha did nothing wrong)
[1...]

144
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,500
KING BONER: Y'know, Just because everyone somehow survived this, I'm gonna let you have that.
[Baldies unite]
[2...]

145
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:10,500
KING BONER: Y'know, Just because everyone somehow survived this, I'm gonna let you have that.
[Baldies unite]
[3...]

146
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Vegeta: I WON'T, YOU SUCK!! 
[YE GO TELL HIM VEGIE!]
[Yamcha has a rough life]
[4..]

147
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OWNED: Oh.

148
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:15,700
JIMMY: God as my witness. It looks like that orange hillbilly has exploded the top of Cell!
[5...]

149
00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:19,200
JIMMY: God as my witness. It looks like that orange hillbilly has exploded the top of Cell!
[6...]

150
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,720
Mr. Satan, do you have any explanations? 
[You mean more bullshit to spew]
[7...]

151
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YET ANOTHER BITCH HUMAN: Well, if I were a bettin' man, and I am, it's a serious problem,
[At least you admit it]
[8...]

152
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:30,080
They combined the lasers and the mirrors with C4 charges--
[You know. people would hate you less if you stopped applying real life logic to a shonen anime series]
[9...]

153
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,620
Jimmy: and switched the body out in the ensuing chaos! 
[JIMMY NO HE LURED YOU IN WITH HIS LIES]
[10. GOKU WINS!]

154
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,140
LARRY'S LESSER: Now you're thinking like a Satanist, Jimmy.
 [Tbh, the satanism jokes are the only reason I see this guy living] 
[Spoiler:This guy NEVER dies]

155
00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:38,560
GOKU: Awesome. Hey Krillin, can I get a ten-count? 
[a goku owned count?]

156
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,560
KRILLIN HEBNER: You got it, Goku! ONE!
[ohhhhhh]
~Krillin, where is your ref shirt?!~

157
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:41,820
(OH SHIT)
(KRILLIN COUNT 1-10 FAST)
[Technically, this would've been a 15 count by now.]

158
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:42,900
Twooooo... [OH SHIT]

159
00:06:43,140 --> 00:06:44,240
(DAMMIT KRILLIN YOU HAD ONE JOB!)
~AND IT WASN'T REFEREEING IN THE CELL GAMES!~

160
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MR. PERFECT CELL: All right, time!!

161
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Timeout!

162
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Time *RIGHT* the hell out!!!! 
[THANK you for growing back (yamcha made a horible pun)]

163
00:06:47,980 --> 00:06:50,600
GOKU: How did you-?!? ~Muffin button!~
MR. PERFECT CELL: you weren't here for this, but TL;DR:

164
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:51,920
Piccolo's cells. 
(That makes sense)

165
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:53,600
GOHAN'S GREEN DAD: Okay, I am-

166
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90% sure I can't do that. 
[well I'm 100% sure you can't Piccolo]

167
00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:57,880
MR. PERFECT CELL: We'll figure THAT OUT *LATER.* [Fun fact; he can't. Piccolo can only regenerate if his HEAD is still in one piece.]

168
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:03,520
In the meantime, what I really want to know is how you keep popping in and out of reality!!!!
[Well, you should have watched some earlier episodes]
(What's wrong Cell? At wits end~?)

169
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,680
GOKU: Oh, that's just my instant transmission. 
[I would've said Muffin Button]

170
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,200
MR. PERFECT CELL: And don't tell me, is that another technique you STOLE?

171
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,540
Goku: NO!

172
00:07:09,540 --> 00:07:10,820
GOKU: No! Kinda...

173
00:07:10,820 --> 00:07:12,220
I got it from eating sick aliens.
(ONCE AGAIN EW)

174
00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:13,800
MR. PERFECT CELL: That's disgusting!
(YOU ARE THE LAST THING I WANT TO AGREE WITH ME.)

175
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,640
GOKU: YOU eat people all the time! 
[SEE GOKU GETS IT!!! AND HE BARELY GETS 'ANYTHING!!]
[Actually he drinks them]

176
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,640
MR. PERFECT Monster: Yes... And I'M A MONSTER...
[Fair point]

177
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,640
GOHAN: Yeah, with all our stolen DNA.

178
00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:22,020
EDGY TEEN: I DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN, DADS!! 
[Ok, That deserves platinum medal in jokes.]

179
00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:23,200
[THANK YOU GOKU.]
(Yet another mighty blow to the perfect jawline)
~"Boot to the head."~

180
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,000
[That conversation was starting to get REALLY effing awkward.]

181
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:31,080
JIMMY: Mr Satan, can you make heads or tail of this???
[Satan is a big guy]

182
00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:34,980
Because right now, I'm more confused than a  homeless man under house arrest! 
[That might be offensive] (Might?) 
(That IS offensive) [Thats why its funny :^)]

183
00:07:34,980 --> 00:07:37,060
MR. Satan: First of all; I find that offensive
[......Why??]
[He was probably homeless before Nappa picked him up]

184
00:07:37,060 --> 00:07:37,980
JIMMY: why?
(obvious why..)
[TELL THEM THE TRUTH]

185
00:07:37,980 --> 00:07:39,980
MR. Satan: Secondly... Uhh...

186
00:07:40,220 --> 00:07:43,000
I don't want to give away ALL the trade secrets!
(Nice save...)

187
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,000
Otherwise, what would be left for the kids, Jimmy?
[Well yeah, he's literally a NORMAL human.]
[But, technically he IS the STRONGEST normal human.]
[Nah it's Krillin who is the strongest pure human]

188
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,880
What would be left for the kids???
~Think of the children, Jimmy, you heartless monster!~

189
00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:52,200
JIMMY: Pragmatism at its finest Mr. Satan.
[(Facepalm.)]
~Insert MasakoX!Roshi "BULL[BLEEP]!" here.~

190
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:56,460
BULMA: Hey, I'm here! Sorry i'm so late, I had to pick up Trunks from daycare.
[Why did you go all the way to Roshi's to watch? Im sure you have a TV since you're rich.]
(HA that's a girl's name)

191
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,160
ROSHI: Ahh, you brought the baby...
[... -?]

192
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:00,860
BULMA: Is..that a problem?

193
00:08:00,860 --> 00:08:02,860
ROSHI: Uhh... Nah it's fine...
[.... -???]

194
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:06,240
TURTLE: He is legally obligated to inform you that he is-
[??????]
~Maron's List?~

195
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,740
OLD PERVERT: Turtle, I've watched her poop, she knows what I'm about.
(TMI Roshi, TMI)
[He also almost drowned after Bulma flushed him down the toilet]

196
00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:12,360
MR. PERFECT CELL: I'll admit, Goku, I'm impressed!

197
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:17,340
A blast that strong should have wiped you but here you are still swinging away at me!!
[shipper fuel]

198
00:08:17,660 --> 00:08:18,740
GOKU: Cell...
~Not just a name but a request.~

199
00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:20,160
If I gained...

200
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,800
ANYTHING in the days leading up to this tournament,

201
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,800
It was ENDURANCE.
[CHI CHI DID SOMETHING USEFUL]

202
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,800
[Surprisingly cute Chi Chi sneeze.]

203
00:08:26,820 --> 00:08:28,780
OX KING: .... What did you DO to him? 
(EXACTLY)

204
00:08:28,780 --> 00:08:30,680
CHI CHI: What DIDN'T I do to him?
[...... EW.](Kinky.)
~If there was ever a time for ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), this is it.~

205
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,680
OX KING: You're just like your mother.
[WAIT, IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY!?]
[of course it runs in the family. Have you SEEN what she was wearing when she was a kid?]

206
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:33,180
[oh boy Pan's future boyfriend is going to a crazy ride]

207
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,720
PICCOLO: This is bad.....
[No shit Sherlock]

208
00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,800
The last time I saw Goku this winded, He was having a heart attack!!
[And that time with CHI CHI.]

209
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,800
He can't keep this up...!
[Oh you're fucking right, namekian.]~( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)~

210
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,540
PRINCESS TRUNKS: Wait, what about the senzu beans??

211
00:08:42,540 --> 00:08:45,040
Y'know the..... magical beans that....

212
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,040
heal all wounds and... 
(Princess pls Goku doesn't need any beans he will fight without giving up!)

213
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:49,040
restore your stamina?
(Goku will fight to the end even if it kills him! AM I RIGHT VEGETA?!]

214
00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:53,860
Okay, guys if you're bothered by cheating either loosen your moral Code 
[There Moral Code is to not do anything you stupid eggplant]

215
00:08:53,860 --> 00:08:56,900
OR STOP HINGING 'THE FATE OF THE WORLD' on **DEATH MATCHES!** 
{Is Trunks the smartest person here or what?} 
[Yes, Yes he is.]

216
00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:59,160
VEGETA: I can't believe you're my son.
[Father of the Year People........]
[Give it seven years, he'll earn that title.]

217
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:00,780
TRUNKETTE: Hey, you said it, not me. 
(The princess spoke the truth)

218
00:09:00,780 --> 00:09:04,980
VEGETA: Kakarot isn't like you. He's a full-blooded Saiyan warrior! 
(A full blooded black hole belly is the right term)

219
00:09:05,180 --> 00:09:10,280
He'd throw that Senzu Bean back in your face, because it's not the world that's at stake!! 
(Is it his pride?)
[Angry manlet projects a lot, More at 11]

220
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:11,960
PRETTY LITTLE PRINCESS: ..... I'm Pretty sure it is. (Princess pls the King is talking)

221
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,420
VEGETA: IT'S HIS SAIYAN PRIDE!!!
(CALLED IT!)

222
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,020
He'll see this fight to the end without any of our help!!
[Countdown 3...

223
00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:16,500
He'll see this fight to the end without any of our help!!
[Countdown 3... 2...

224
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,060
even if it kills him!
[Countdown 3... 2... 1...]

225
00:09:18,060 --> 00:09:18,840
[THERE IT IS.]

226
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:19,480
GOKU: I give up!
(YOU SON OF A MONKEY!)

227
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:20,900
VEGETA: I'LL KILL HIM!!!! (7 years from know]
[KILL HERCULE FIRST]
(KICK HIM IN THE NUTS!)

228
00:09:20,900 --> 00:09:22,790
MR. PERFECT CELL: I'm sorry, I'm rather high up here.
(what drugs do you do?!)

229
00:09:22,790 --> 00:09:24,880
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY GOKU?!?! 
(He said uh... he is a monkey's uncle)
~To be fair, he has no ears.~

230
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:28,100
GOKU: I give up! You win! Great fight!
[I WILL FUCKING KILL YOUR FAMILY]

231
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,860
GOHAN: Wait.... What is he doing?
(I think he want's us to kick him in the nuts)

232
00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:31,180
PICCOLO: Well, this is your *biological* father,

233
00:09:31,180 --> 00:09:34,340
so he's either saving all of our lives or dooming us all. (Aint that the truth... -_-)
(Well this is Goku we're talking about here, so I think we know the answer...)

234
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:35,980
MR. PERFECT CELL: But we're not finished...[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

235
00:09:35,980 --> 00:09:41,160
I'M NOT FINISHED!!! This isn't a victory! This is... I don't even know what this is-....!!!
[teasing( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)?]
[Don't worry Cell. Everyone gets blue balled.]

236
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:45,760
STUPID PROUD FULL BLOODED SAIYAN #2: Nah, it's totally a victory. 'Cause I'm giving up. That means you win.
~Student of Wimp Lo.~

237
00:09:45,860 --> 00:09:49,080
CELL: Every word you just spoke has made me violently angry.         
VEGETA: Every word you just spoke has made me violently angry. 
CANADA: Every word you just spoke has made me violently angry.

238
00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:51,420
VEGETA: *OH GREAT! NOW I'M AGREEING WITH CELL!*
CELL: *OH GREAT! NOW I'M AGREEING WITH VEGETA!*
CANADA: *OH GREAT! NOW I'M AGREEING WITH THESE TWO!*

239
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,260
CELL & VEGETA & CANADA: **LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!**

240
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,260
GOKU: Cell, you knew what this was.
(Do you know what it was for him?)

241
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,580
Just a fight... nothing more...
[IT'S A FIGHT FOR THE LIFE OF EVERY PEOPLE, MUFFIN, DRAGONS AND EVERY RACE YOU DUMB MONKEY!]

242
00:09:57,580 --> 00:09:59,240
MR. PERFECT CELL (TRIGGERED): You *BITCH..!* 
[He is an ultra bitch]
[Cell sounds a lot like an abusive boyfriend here]

243
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,920
If you seriously concede I'll...

244
00:10:02,260 --> 00:10:05,200
I'll just blow up the Earth like I SAID!
[Oh god do not do that]

245
00:10:05,220 --> 00:10:10,080
So unless you want me to turn this whole planet into an asteroid field, KAKAROT..!! 
~OH DAMN! He went full Vegeta!~

246
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:13,780
**GET BACK UP HERE AND PUNCH ME IN MY PERFECT JAWLINE!!!!!** 
(Sounds tempting.)
[hasn't he done that like.. 30 times]

247
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,640
GOKU: Hold your horses, Cell.

248
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,220
You SAID this was a tournament.
[... Huh. He DID Didn't he?]

249
00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:21,680
There's still a fighter left to take you on so you'll have to fight him first.
["Still a fighter left" Just One?]

250
00:10:22,260 --> 00:10:25,840
MR. PERFECT CELL: Oh-..? oh... Oh-ho-ho..!! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I see!!

251
00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:27,820
This is a prank!
(FooseyTube ?)
[Filthy Frank, I hope]
~Ashton, eat your heart out.~

252
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:33,880
My God, I honestly never figured you for a prankster, Goku, but you son of a bitch!

253
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:38,300
Ya *got me.* Okay, Who is it? Is it the Prince?
[ha like Veggie would win]

254
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:41,860
No, it couldn't be. I don't even take my own sloppy seconds.
(man he'll need a senzu for that one...)

255
00:10:41,860 --> 00:10:43,400
[SERIOUSLY EW]
The boy? 
[The Eggplant? she would kill herself trying again]

256
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:46,660
Hardly, he looks like he's about ready to crush coal into diamonds with his sphincter.
[Lets test that, shall we?]

257
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:48,680
Oh, could it be Tenshinhan?
[Could he use the Ki Ko Fuck yourself?!]

258
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,020
Cell: *PLEASE tell me It's Tenshinhan...*
[Cell really wants more of that sweet Shin Kikōhō]
(The hate-boner is strong with this one)

259
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,220
YAMUCHA: Man. It's like a hate boner triangle 
[again kinda( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡  )]
(#ALLTHEHATEBONERS!)

260
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:54,740
GOKU: Nope-a-rino! (Huh, I didn't know Goku had a bit of Flanders' blood inside him)

261
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:56,540
The fighter I've selected...

262
00:10:56,540 --> 00:11:00,120
The fighter who will finally put your terror to an end is...
(John Cena?)

263
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,040
(John Cena?)

264
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:01,980
Mr. Satan! 
[Yeah we're screwed]

265
00:11:01,980 --> 00:11:03,640
Get out here you~! 
{Can we get a dumb Goku counter?}

266
00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:04,700
MR. SATAN: DIARRHEA!
[I would actually believe that]
[Can't blame him tbh]
(He didn't bring his brown pants)

267
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:06,600
GOKU: Well, Shoot, original plan then.
~Wait...he PLANNED?!~
[I'd hardly call *dooming* the entire planet a PLAN]

268
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,600
GOHAN! Get out here! 
[WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!]

269
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,600
PICCOLO'S ACTUAL SON: I'm sorry. We're little high up here. 
[.... WHAT-????]
(Stop tripping, you're only 11)

270
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,200
What did he just say Mr. Piccolo?
[OH MY GAMIKAI]

271
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,740
GOHAN'S DAD: I think he just said-
~Mother****er, you heard Trunks and Goku having a conversation in Ep34! YOU *HEARD* WHAT HE SAID!~

272
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:14,540
MR. PERFECT CELL: GOHAN?

273
00:11:15,020 --> 00:11:17,240
OUT THE ENTIRE LIST YOU PICK...

274
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:18,220
*HIM?!?!*

275
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:20,220
HE WASN'T EVEN *ON* THE LIST!

276
00:11:20,460 --> 00:11:22,320
*YAMCHA* WAS ON THE LIST!!!
[Wait. He was-?]

277
00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:25,520
USELESS #1: Wait- Why was I..?
MR. PERFECT CELL: HALFTIME ENTERTAINMENT! (.....Harsh.)
[Oh What about Krillin? Is he on list?]

278
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:26,040
[Okay yeah, that makes sense.]

279
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,040
HALFTIME ENTERTAINMENT: Frankly, I'm just happy to be included.
[It was probably out of pity, let's be honest]
~Yamcha Owned Count?~

280
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,520
IDIOT: Alright, Gohan. He's all yours. Have fun! :D
[The orange hillbilly calls dying *fun*]

281
00:11:33,020 --> 00:11:35,980
SOON-TO-BE-DEAD: Dad, I'm gonna to have to politely ask you to back the HFIL up! (same here, gohan)

282
00:11:35,980 --> 00:11:39,900
What... in [SUPER KAMI] Dende's name are you doing???
[Would you believe me if I told you that he's training you?]
(Kind of a bad time to be  training when the world's at stake)

283
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:44,780
NUMBER #1 MOST TERRIBLE DAD: I'm sending in the strongest fighter we've got. *This* is what we trained for. (WHAT DO YOU *MEAN* STRONGEST FIGHTER WE'VE GOT?)

284
00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:47,920
GOHAN: But THAT'S WHAT *YOU* TRAINED FOR! I WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO FIGHT!
[I don't think he ever said that]

285
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,300
I WAS JUST THERE TO MAKE YOU STRONGER!

286
00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:52,980
GOHAN'S GRAVEDIGGER: Oh, Gohan, you're just being insincere. 
~He is. If it was strictly for Goku, he and -Vegeta- would have gone into the HTC.~
[You're implying that the Vegeta at this point would actually spend more than 5 minutes with Goku.]

287
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:56,600
GOHAN'S REAL DAD: Insecure, and NO HE'S NOT!!! HE'S 11 YEARS OLD!!!!
[You tell him JESUS]

288
00:11:56,660 --> 00:11:59,420
LEGITIMATE POINTMAKER: Goku, we're not gonna to tell you how to be a parent right now--

289
00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:00,400
ENRAGED SLUG FATHER **I AM!!!!**

290
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:03,100
LEGITIMATE POINTMAKER: but how do you think CHI CHI is gonna react to this?
(excellent question! Let's check!)

291
00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:05,220
Endurance Trainer: ***I AM GOING TO CASTRATE HIM!!!*** 
[RUN GOKU!]
(Well, you have Goten now. No more point in keeping it around anymore)

292
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,540
MORON: Guys, trust me on this one.
[That sounds like a bad idea]

293
00:12:07,540 --> 00:12:12,480
I spent a whole year training him last week. So get out there, Gohan!
(... time means nothing in Dragon Ball Goku  (-_-))

294
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:13,520
You got this!
[To be fair. He DID survive Namek]
[With a kill count of 1.]

295
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,400
GOHAN: Do I even have a choice?
(What do you think?)

296
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:16,420
GOKU: 'Course you do!

297
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:19,780
You either go out there and kill him or the planet gets exploded.
(Damn)
[This isn't even confidence anymore, he's just okay with everyone dying]

298
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:22,500
GOHAN: That's not a choice, That's an ultimatum!
[still a choice, though. Just not a good one.]
~"Either die to him or die to me!" but hero flavored!~

299
00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:26,260
IDIOT FATHER: Gohan, we both know I don't know what that word means.
(Honesty at its finest)

300
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:27,780
GOHAN: Obviously not.

301
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:28,290
*sigh of a mix between disbelief and anger*

302
00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:34,500
Okay, fine. I'll go fight Cell. I've never been wished back by the dragon, so hey! This will be a learning ex..

303
00:12:35,190 --> 00:12:36,690
..perience...
(Come to think about it Gohan never died)
[Trunks would disagree]
[THIS Gohan]

304
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:39,460
GOKU: Gohan, wait. Before you go...

305
00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:40,260
GOHAN: What?! [ You are obviously not that smart]

306
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:43,460
GOKU: You're so much stronger than you think you are. (Told ya)
[He's not wrong tho]

307
00:12:43,460 --> 00:12:46,060
GOHAN: Yeah, well let's see what CELL thinks... [probably still thinking about Goku]

308
00:12:47,220 --> 00:12:52,120
JIMMY FIRECRACK-CORN-AND-HE-DON'T-GIVE-A-F*CK: My goodness... The orange hillbilly previously reported to BEAT his wife, (In a tournament, that is)

309
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:57,140
has resigned himself and *SENT HIS OWN CHILD TO FIGHT CELL!!*
[nice] (I wouldn't call child murder *nice*) (Cell would, though...)

310
00:12:57,340 --> 00:12:59,700
Jill the Ripper: (BURST METER MAX) ***WITH A BUTTER KNIFE YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!***
~OH! That's how!~ 
(CHI CHI Burst Awaken activated)

311
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,100
Chi Chi: ***I'LL TIE YOU TO A CHAIR FIRST***
(Well it's a good thing Goku dies afterwards, otherwise this show would be rated R.)

312
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:03,460
***AND GAG YOU WITH A GODDAMN DAIKON RADISH!!!!!***
(Well it's a good thing Goku dies afterwards, otherwise this show would be rated R.)

313
00:13:03,460 --> 00:13:04,460
(Well it's a good thing Goku dies afterwards, otherwise this show would be rated R.)

314
00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:07,140
MR. PERFECT CELL: So, the biggest, most important fight of my life

315
00:13:07,140 --> 00:13:10,760
WALKS AWAY, and sends in the world's strongest BOOKWORM......

316
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:14,200
Fine, Goku. I'll play along with this little joke... (I *PRAY* that this is a joke...)

317
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:18,160
But I want you to know, while I'm busy *POUNDING YOUR SON*
[GEORGE TAKEI: Oh myyyy~]

318
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,040
I'll be thinking of you the entire time.
[GEORGE TAKEI: OHHH MYYYY] {KING KAI: DAMMIT TAKEI}

319
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:24,340
GOHAN: (thinking) 'Thinking about it, I might actually have the advantage here.' (...I'm listening...)

320
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:27,940
'He took as much of a beating as dad did, if not more.'
(Is he making a plan?)

321
00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,840
'and after spending a year with dad in the time chamber' (He's onto something)

322
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:33,300
'I'm at least as strong as he is now.' 
(You got this buddy)

323
00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:37,760
'Man, if i play it carefully, i could actually win this!'
[FINALLY!! ACTUAL LEGITIMATE STRATEGY!!]
(This is..actually smart)
~This is GOHAN we're talking about! Mom's brains?~ {Maybe Goku's plan wasn't such a bad idea after all...}

324
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:38,880
[PRAISE THE KAIS-] (And[Supreme Kami] Dende)-

325
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,740
[-?]
GOKU: Oh hey Krillin, can you bean me real quick? (When the beandaddy's nowhere to be seen, Krillers here to hand you a bean)

326
00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:42,720
KRILLIN: Oh, sure. Here.
[Goku... What are you doing-?]

327
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,000
CHILD MURDERER: Thanks friend.
[Goku-?]
[ok Goku is plotting something]

328
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,000
Hey, Cell!! 
[WAIT WHAT ARE YOU-??]
(No no no no NO NO NO NO!)

329
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,460
SENZU BEAN!
[WAIT WHAT-?!?!?!]
{Seriously, WHERE IS THE DAMN DUMB GOKU COUNTER?! GET TO WORKING ON IT GUYS!}

330
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,520
KRILLIN: *NO!* (*NO!*)

331
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:49,060
PICCOLO: **WHAT?!**

332
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:49,920
YAMCHA: WHY?!
(At least you won't die first, buddy.)

333
00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:52,980
GOKU: What? I'm just playing fair? He's tired, 
[...This is the reason I liked VEGETA more than YOU, Mr. Orange Garbage Hillbilly!!!!!]
(HE DEAD)

334
00:13:53,060 --> 00:13:55,400
He's got post-Goku exhaustion.
[**THAT WAS THE ENTIRE EFFING POINT YOU MOUTH BREATHING-!!!!!!!!!**]
[Goku is a sink or swim mentor.]

335
00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:58,480
*Obviously nettled*
DEAD MEAT: DAD..! HE'S GOING TO KILL ME! 
(Oh the irony of your logic) [...What do you mean by irony?...

336
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,480
MR. PERFECT CELL: Hey you said it not me!
(You were prolly thinking it though)

337
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:03,320
[Cue the sound of one half of the Dragon Ball Fandom Keeping the other half from TRYING TO PUNCH GOKU.]
~Hey, it's the first non-alive thing he's consumed!~

338
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,620
OH, THAT'S THAT GOOD SHIT!
[Better than liquidated humans?]
~That you're gonna take later.~

339
00:14:06,660 --> 00:14:09,140
Suck it Kale you bush-league super food. 
[Good thing we're not in Universe 6.]

340
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:12,760
GOHAN: 'Well, war of attrition is out...
So deep end it is....'
[Ohh myy]

341
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:19,160
[And cue more screaming from Gohan]
~Poor MasakoX's larynx...~

342
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:21,180
VOICE OF REASON: Which one was it, Goku?

343
00:14:21,180 --> 00:14:25,480
*Which **CONCUSSION** did you **SUFFER** that made you think **ANY** OF THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!?
[Which one **DIDN`T** he?]
(You first need a brain to suffer a concussion)

344
00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:27,580
CORPSE DONATOR: Piccolo, just watch.

345
00:14:27,690 --> 00:14:30,260
You're going to see amazing things out there.
(Man you really hate your son)
[Nah, He doesnt hate him. He's just a retard that Chi Chi swindled into marrying. Seriously]

346
00:14:30,260 --> 00:14:33,860
SMART FATHER: What's amazing about watching Your 11 year old son get **MURDERED?!"** (EXACT-FUCKING-LY!)

347
00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:36,960
IDIOT FATHER: Gohan might be 11 years old, but he's also like...
(What? Now you're gonna repeat Cell is not dealing with a average Saiyan anymore?)

348
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,220
I dunno, a hundred times stronger than I was at that age!
(try about 50,000)
[And he survived Namek]

349
00:14:40,220 --> 00:14:41,040
MURDER WATCHER: Goku...

350
00:14:41,060 --> 00:14:44,160
WUKONG THE IDIOT: He's been keeping pace with us since he was a baby!
[Fair point]

351
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,840
I mean, You should know, you kidnapped him. (Ouch.)
GOHAN'S REAL DAD: GOKU!

352
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:51,300
WUKONG: And after spending that year alone with him. I know more than anyone that  he's going to...

353
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:53,280
GOHAN'S REAL DAD: **GOKU!!!!!**
GOHAN'S FAKE DAD: *What?!*

354
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,280
(Ok he spend a year with his dad but still hasn't learn how to dodge?! Goku what have you been doing?!)
[He's Pavlov's bitch.]
[Gohan is supposed to be the smartest of the group, yet he never picked up dodging.]

355
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:56,680
(Cell then says...)

356
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,680
MR. PERFECT CELL: THINKIN' OF YOU, GOKU! 
(Yamcha would be saying "Gay." rn)

357
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:03,320
[Dragon Ball Outro] (Now to wait ages until we find if Goku wasn't an idiot after all...*sigh*...)

358
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:08,860
JIMMY: ...previously reported to beat his wife has resigned himself,

359
00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:10,860
JIMMY: And sent his "OWN CHILD TO FIGHT-"

360
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,740
VIDEL: Hmm... Sweet hair. 
[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)] [Sweet young Videl, you will like more than just the hair]

361
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,000
See ya'll next time ;)

362
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,000
If there IS a next time, that is...