Disclaimer Read By Dumbass Hero
(WARNING: These subs contain added awesomeness. If you want the clean subs, please go to the standard English. Ta-ta~)
PER. CELL: Dear Lord in Gohan's dad, (Non Blood Related) FINALLY!
And here I thought killing 16 was harder for me than it was for you.
...I'm confused, though. Were you friends? (Good Question)
Did you talk about birds together...?
Couple o' bird nerds?
GOHAN: *Gives description of filicide.*
MR. PERFECT CELL: Uh...
*Gohan Takes Senzu Beans*
PER. CELL: Wha...!?
(Teleports ominously) (POP)
GOHAN: ...You wanted me to define filicide. (Holy shit He's pissed)
Jonathon: YAAAA! (You Might Not wanna do that)
(See I Told You) [hoLYSHIT]
(Ominous piano) [I literally was breathless for a few seconds THAT WAS AWESOME]
PER. CELL/The Entire Fanbase (Nervously aroused): ...Oh...
VEGETA (Salty as all HFIL): Alright, would anyone care to explain...
THE F*CK?!
Jesus: I'm kind of afraid to, because I'm pretty sure that
would involve giving Goku credit for this. [That checks out.] (And NOBODY, wants that)
Dumbass Hero: The takeaway here is...
...you're Welcome. [no, no it's not]
Jesus: THE ENDS DON'T JUSTIFY THE MEANS, GOKU!!! (Well, you captured Gohan to conquer Earth, not the best candidate for complaint)
Fucking idiot: You're mean! >:C
(ominous teleport)
(HERE AT TEAM FOUR STAR, WE *DO NOT* CONDONE CHILD VIOLENCE...
HOWEVER, EVERYONE FINDS IT AMUSING)
(nervous growling)
NORIO: Uh uh uhhh~ (bitch, Krillin dying is nothing)
GOHAN (dumbfounded): ...Really? You're using Krillin as a hostage? (Even Gohan has no respect for Krillin)
His death is a day trip for us (K.O.!) and a free ice cream sundae for him, go ahead. [If it's the Super Dragon Balls, have fun finding those in a day]
World's Strongest Human Technically: Actually, I'm lactose intolerant... [Of course he is]
GOHAN: Nobody's lactose intolerant in Heaven, Krillin. (He is buddist tho) {A *hungry* buddhist)
That's why it's *Heaven*. (Hot damn, Gohan.)
DALE : (becomes Genre Savvy)
Nope! (Don't Run)
Strongest 11 Year Old: Too little, too late. (NOW YOU FUCKED UP!)
(Michael Bay explosion)
(another ominous teleport)
NORIEL/NORIO: Hm? Huh?
UNGODLY EDGELORD: Bitch move. (Gohan a straight savage)
NORI: (filicided) [Yeah, that'll work] {das a pretty big oofer} (Ain't that a kick in the head)
(Cue romantic music!) [he's eleven!] (Cell is six!)
Aroused Per. Cell(With perfect voice): 🎶 'Suddenlyyyy...' 🎶 (GAAAAAAAAY) (The original song is "Suddenly" by Billy Ocean, by the way)
🎶 '*Life has* a new meaning' 🎶 (Stop Please)
🎶 'To meeeeeeee...' 🎶 (Sing Your Music in HFIL!)
🎶 'There's beauty up above...' 🎶 (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)
🎶 '...and things we never take notice of..' 🎶 (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA}
🎶 'You wake up and suddenly...' 🎶 (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)
🎶 'you're in love...' 💕❤🎶 (Dude, Gohan is 11.) (It's Over Thank Dende) (But in all seriousness Great Job Taka!)
JIMMY: Jimmy Firecracker here, reporting from this tree! (Why is the camera upside down?) (Better question. Why's he in a tree to begin with?)
The young man has apparently undergone a harrowing transformation,(Where the hell is that tree?)
and is currently DISMANTLING these demented delinquents (No he just Defined Fillicide)
ONE AFTER THE--
LARRY: Sir, that big explosion from earlier wrecked the camera. [rip]
We're totally dark!
(Awkward silence as Jimmy mourns the loss of his beloved camera) (was that tree always there?)
JIMMY: ...Oh.
(And the citizens of Satan City ain't too happy 'bout it) [Seriously, they gonna realize how bad Mr. Satan's name is anytime soon or what?]
RANDOM CITIZEN: So, another riot? [Should have called Gowasu to film the Cell Games]
RANDOM CITIZEN 2: Sure! Why not? [Hey guys, Where's your manners]
RANDOM CITIZEN 3: Yeah! F*ck this city! (You're the first one to go, Grant.) {that was an avatar reference}
(bum rush)
(badass toss)
{Literally ow}
(DALE DED)
(Badass catch)
(Badass regrab)
(Badass standing)
TRAVIS: Daaaad! [Ain't nobody gonna save you from Gohan's horrifying wrath]
CHILD ABUSER(More like child neglector): I ain't no helicopter papa.
Sink or swim, bitch. (DAMN!)
GOHAN: HYAAAAAH!
(More Michael Bay explosions)
(he told you sink or swim, bitches)
GOHAN: You forgot your water wings. (And besides, no one escapes the sea of Gohan's rage alive)
[Hadouken]
(Gohan zooms by)
CELL JRS.: (scared noises)
(CURTIS DED) [SUNK]
GOHAN: (Angry sounds)
DAMEON: NOOOO-
{DAMEON DED} [At least he died without hesitation] (Do you hear that crunch? Good Dende I could feel that)
(Terrified shrieks from one of the last of Vegeta Jr Jr.)
GOHAN: Don't. (Don't what? Try to run?) [yep]
VEGETA JR JR.: (Tries to run)
(You're too slow!) [That was Nori's bit, tho.] {This bitch is ded}
(scream)
b o o m (VEGETA JR. JR., NOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
(Hm. Smells like toasted F.A.G. baby)
(SUPER DED)
(Now Gohan Kill Cell Please)
PER. VEGETA(Channeling Cell): Gimme.
Gimmegimmegimmegimmegimme!
GOHAN: Trunks.
TRUNKS: Huh?
Oh, uh, sure. On it.
GOHAN: Try to forget you're half Vegeta and don't f*ck it up.
GOHAN: Try to forget you're half Vegeta and don't f*ck it up. [Vegeta Owned Count: 1]
VEGETA (Extra salty): F*CKIN'! (Shut up Vegeta) (He's right ya know)
TRUNKS: Hey, Krillin! Krillin!
(SENZU BEAN!!)
TRUNKS (Imitating Krillin): Senzu Bean! (It sounds so much less funny when you say it)
(Krillin whimper-gurgles pathetically) (I feel your pain) [I'd say 'poor krillin' but this is normal for us so...]
TRUNKS: Eh, okay. Now let's just... {yeah just give the poor dwarf-buddhist a bean you monkey}
Hey, Yamcha! (Like he'll be any use later on! XD)
I "Senzu" need some help? (My God, that was awful) (Please kill me)
(Yamcha groans due to Trunks' bad joke) (No wonder Vegeta considers him a disappointment. untill next episode)
TRUNKS (quietly): Ah, Trunks, just stop. (Please do)
KRILLIN: Whew. Am I glad I'm not allergic to *those*. (You'd be dying every episode if you were)
TRUNKS: Alright. Let's get you up. (I like how Yamcha and Krillin had jokes, but the serious Tien does not xD)
IRRELEVANT 1: Great. Now I can watch us become irrelevant vertically instead of horizontally. [Great, someone gets it] (Oh, if only you knew... ;_; )
What are we even doing here anymore? (Meat bags perhaps? Just be thankful this isn't GT) [Man those 2 letters make me shudder]
TOWEL BOY: I brought towels...
...anyone want a towel? (So you can be irrelevant and comfortable?)
IRRELEVANT 2: I'll take one. Today is a *scorcher*. ('Cause this episode is straight fire, you get me?) [HAHAHAHA- no]
GOKU: 🎶Senzu Beans are gonna heal ya.🎶
So what're we gonna call this? (Super Saiyan 2?) [How bout Super Saiyan Grade V?]
Because it's WAY stronger than Super Saiyan! (Super Saiyan 2!) [Super Saiyan Grade V boi]
PICCOLO: Well, if it's a level beyond Super Saiyan, then... [No, Super Saiyan Grade V]
GOKU: ... then he must be a Super (Please don't do it goku)
DUPER SAIYAN! (Original transformation. Do not steal. I actually like that name)
PICCOLO/Not Impressed: Hm.
VEGETA: "If he's a Super Duper Saiyan, (You actually got Vegeta to say super duper)
then I shall find a way to become a
SUPER D-TWOPER SAIYAN!" (I'll assume that's TFS for Super Saiyan 3)
Bean Son: Bean, Dad?
Salty As Fuck:Y eeeeeessss...
PER. CELL: Look at YOU! (That's just the most pathetic looking small drawing ever) (Agreed)
I'm gonna call you "Whooping Cough"...
...because you just DEVASTATED my children! (And you fell in love with him for it)
And for a second there, I thought that yarn you were spinning
was going to turn up short. (like our patience waiting for this episode)
But HERE YOU ARE! (URGH! Don't give me that face you murderer!) [Cell, less talking more fighting. Stop being Vegeta.]
(Creepy chuckling)
Per. Cell(Vegeta showing): My *final challen-
(Gohan punches Cell in the gut as he's tired of hearing this giant bug talk.) [Told you to shut the fuck up Cell]
(Cell groans strangely)
WHOOPING COUGH: Careful, Cell. Your Vegeta is showing.[Vegeta Owned Counter: 2] *Vegeta is deemed a failure by Gohan: Son of Piccolo.*
(and so, the whole of the DBZA fanbase satisfaction-orgasms after many years of pain) (agreed) (OH YESSSSSSSSS!!!!~) {OH THIS IS DELICIOUS MMMM!!!~}
PER.CELL SHOWING INNER VEGGIE: Y-Y'know, you're not wrong. (Indeed he isn't)
(Falls down like the fucking idiot he is)
PER.CELL SHOWING INNER VEGGIE: Ooh, boy. Nothing like a concussion to really get the blood flowing--(!)
(Vomits)
EDGELORD WHOOPING COUGH: Cell. You don't get it.
I *HATE* this.
The vibrations through my fists on contact... (ew) {I dont like where this is going P:}
The taste of *blood* in my mouth... (EW) {I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING}
The sound of my heart in my ears... ( E W ) {I. DONT. LIKE. WHERE. THIS. IS. GOING.}
I *hate* it. (I! D O N T! L I K E! W H E R E! T H I S! I S! G O I N G!!!) [You could say you hate it? ;)]
I always have.
Though, right now, in this moment,
(Cell growls as Gohan speaks) the only thing I hate more than *it*... {Is it Cell?}
is ＹＯＵ. {Call the Fire Department Cause this shit is going to get fired up in here}
THE THING GOHAN HATES MORE THAN WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW: Ugh, put that on a valentine... (There goes the bromance. Sorry, fanfic writers)
GOHAN: ...Because you were right about me. (Oh, so right.)
I was a coward. (To your last whimper.)
Scared of what would happen if I snapped. (Fearing for your life.) (More like fearing that he would go do genocide)
Afraid that...
If I lost it this time, I'd never come back. (Doesn't that happen in the Buu Saga??)
That I'd finally... KILL someone. {WELCOME TO THE KILL COUNT, WHERE WE TALLY UP THE VICTIMS FROM ALL YOUR FAVOURITE SHOUNEN MANGA}
Now I'm not scared anymore, Cell... (Mostly because you're doing most of the scaring here.)
SCARED AS A PERFECT FUCK: Well, glad I could-- (and it was at this moment he knew... HE FUCKED UP)
GAAAAAAAAAAAH!! (Another justice kick) [Cell's getting the shit rekt out of him]
...because there's no point in being afraid of the inevitable. (He's definitely crazy)
(Cell groans and gets up)
PER. CELL (Channeling Krillin): Oh, f*ck this.
(Aaaand his Vegeta's showing again) [Isn't this more of a Freezer move?] {yes?}
(Already ominous music proceeds to get more ominous)
(Isn't Perfect Cell a Sperm?) [W H A T]
*Yeah?* [ye] {Yeah in Dr.Gero's lab, Or he was a egg.}
[you put the lime in the coconut and you shake them both up]
(you put the lime in the coconut and you shake them both up) {what the fuck is going on}
[you put the lime in the coconut and you shake them both up] (you put the lime in the coconut and you shake them both up) {you put the lime in the coconut and you shake them both up} *Guys stop, fucking HFIL*
[GOHAN-Absolutely done with this crap]
PER. CELL: KA...(Is he going for a Solar Flare?
ME... (What's wrong Cell, is your Vegeta showing?) (I say its more freezer than Vegeta)
HA..... (You seriously think doing a Goku is going to help you?) [Bitch, this is a Super Duper Saiyan you're dealing with here.]
Filisting champ of the year: So, is this more of a Vegeta move or a Freezer move? (Good question) [I'd say Vegeta] [Meh, Freeza, but it could go both ways]
MEEEEEE.... (Oh my Kami HE'S SERIOUS.)
(JESUS FUCKING CHRIST) [OH SHIT] {YEAH THAT'S A FUCKING FREEZA MOVE} |somebody better pick up the phone because i fucking CALLED IT|
SHERLOCK: Speaking of move, we should, probably! (PROBABLY?!?!?)
SORE LOSER (genuinely pissed): I could have just done this from the beginning!
INSTEAD, I thought I'd have some fun, (That's what you get for being part Goku)
throw a tournament, BUT
F*CK YOU!
SUCK MY PERFECT DICK!!! *It's retractable right?* [Does he even have one or is he like Piccolo?]
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
(Everyone puts on "we're screwed" faces) [THAT'S BECAUSE WE ARE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA] {OH SHIT!!!}
GOHAN: Ka... (He is f***ed) [Oh boy] {HE BOUTA DO IT}
GOHAN: Ka... Me... (He is really f***ed) [Oh boy oh boy]
GOHAN: Ka... Me... Haaa... (Gohan is gonna f*** him) [OH SHIT YOU'RE F*CKED CELL]
GOHAN: Ka... Me... Haaa... Meeeee.... (Cell is gonna be f***ed so hard his perfect dick will be gone) [Here comes one of Gohan's most badass moments and one of the most awesome Kamehamehas in DB History]
{Perfect Cell: MY DICK FELL OFF}
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA {OHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-} (GOD BLESS MASAKO'S VOCAL CORDS!) [Y E E E E S S S S S]
(GG)
(Geez, that's a sandstorm if I ever seen one)(What's the song name?)
(Bye, Satan.)
(Bye, Jimmy.)
PER. CELL: (Groaning) [CRAPBASKETS]
(Groaning turns to screaming as Gohan's blast rockets into space) [RIPd Perfect Cell's Perfect Dick...OFF] {Cell just got f*cked in the ass by a Kamehameha}
(Well, have fun on New Arlia Cell! You'd fit right in!) [that will be New New Arlia]
VEGETA: (Grunting) (From where did they get all this sand?) [I don't like it. It's coarse an rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.]
(Everyone else groans as they dig themselves up)
KRILLIN: Anyone else got sand in their--
EVERYONE: YES! [Y'see?]
PRINCESS TRUNKS: EVERYWHERE!
GOHAN'S DAD: Uh, guys?
SPIDER-MAN: Holy *SHIT*!
PER. CELL: HEY, KID!
(are you FUCKING K I D D I N G M E )
(demented growling)
(Woah! You might wanna get that looked at...)
Y̛̟̘͇͉͎̬̝̣̪̪̠̟̐̈̽ͣ̐̈́ͪͭ̿͘̕ͅͅ ̷̧͂ͭ̔̓̀̄̇͌ͨ̔҉̴͍̥̗̣̠̲͇̳̫̹̥͉͙̲O̷̢̗̝̲̍͛ͪ͐̓͛̆̓̈ͦͭ̽ͬ̚͟͢ ͓͖̬̦̼̭̺̣̄̎̏̃͠Ṵ̥̥̲̻͚̻̱̲̟̺̦̣̹̬̮͛̏͐̏ͤ͛ͦ͘͢͢ ́ͨ̿͊ͣͪ̆̽̑ͣ͆́̚҉̡̯̭̼̺̼͍̫͖̞̫͢͠͞M̨̛̩͚̟̣̹̤͚͎̱̩̉̎ͮͣ̊̈̾̉̇ͧͤ̀̀ ͍͇̬̺̰͉͕̟͚͙̬͕͓͇̤̣͛ͥ͆͛̊ͩ̒̓̑ͥ̇̑ͥͤ͋͢ͅI̸̸̥͇̼̘̲̘͉͍̞̠̳͚͍̭̋̂ͬ͊̍̇ͨ͆͜͢ͅ ̧͇̙͎̞̩͖̗̰̦̋̇͊̈͂̓̂̔͐͟͝S͉̭͙̬̙̺̳͖͔̩̙̯̺̺͖ͦͦ̓ͧ̾ͦ͐̿̂͂ͧ͒̇ͫ̐̉̚͜͞ ̖̤͔̯͚͎̻̮̺͓̻̘̖̟̈̓ͬ̍ͥ̋ͤ̆ͮ̽̋͂̄ͮͭ̈́̓͢S̽̏̔̉̅ͩ́͌͛͑̓ͧ̾͗ͣ̓͌̈͏̵̡̧̮̪̙̪̘̦͚͎͘ ̛̓͒̂ͥͮ҉̩̖̥̦̫̙̪̙̰̙̮̦̰͡ͅͅĘ̶̛̰̳̖̱̟̥̩̬͙̹̬͖͌͂ͤ̓̒̀ͣ͐ͪͤ̔ͮ͋̔̿ ̵̧̧͈̹̺̻̬͙͙̻̻̝͔̽̔̅ͧ̒̂̍ͩͫ̎̒̇̿͗̈́̏̋́͘D́̍̏͐̍ͧ̋͗̿̾ͬ͒͂ͪ̆҉̷̡̗̘͇̮̜͎̳͟ ̸ͣ͑ͫͮ̒͑̈́͐̎́͏̛̝̥͔͎̠̩͎͕̹͈̟͚̫̞͖̝͎͉̘Aͨͧ̑̈́ͣ̚҉̪̖̫̝͚̰̜͈̱͖͔̲̯̀ͅ ̟̘̜̰͊̎̾͗̾ͨͣ̎͂̋̄̈́ͧ̚͟͢͡S̷̴̡͖͍̳̭̭̭̠̣̞̺̲̫̼͙̥̭̻̋͒ͣ̿̈́ͥͤ̋ͧ̊̃ͯ͘̕ͅ ̶̸̧̧͙̤̙̘̹̪̯͉̦̟̳̝̜̉̑͑̈ͧ̄̾̽ͨ͒͗̌̕P̸̵̶͇̩̙͈̙̻̭̝̹̊̐̀ͬ͒̓͊͑͂̾͞͞ ̡̢̢̯̩͕̜̼̦͎͔̫̹̻̠̠̝̭͈̳ͣ̐̊̏̀͢O͋̆ͦ̈͆̕͘͟҉̦͚̭͇̰̝ ̸̢̨̩̤̤̳ͨͨ̐͐̀ͩ͛̀̚T̉̐͌̐̾ͪ̿̐̓͋̀͞͏̡̝̖̩̫̳̹͈̲̞͓̮
(RIP-ed Perfect Cell's Perfect Dick...OFF)
[Dark Side Points +1] {Does he get the sadism from Chi-Chi?} (probably)
GOKU: Alright, Gohan! I think it's time you brought 'er home!
KYLO GOHAN: Hold on. I'm not done ripping the wings off this butterfly. [Uhh... Should we be worried about this?] [YES!] (VERY WORRIED!!) {IMMENSELY.}
PICCOLO: Red flag! (Definitely)
GOKU: Uh... kiddo? I understand you're angry, but--
SPEAKING THE TRUTH: But what? Are you gonna give me advice now? [He bouta diss the hell outta Goku]
Let me guess...
I should let him go so we can have an even better fight later! (Be thankful Vegeta's a good guy now) (If it wasnt for Vegeta you be dead in namek) [Goku Owned Counter: 1]
Or maybe I should let him power up to 100% so I can teach him humility! (Freezer is incapable of such a thing) [Goku Owned Counter: 2]
(salty as the Dead Sea) Wait- I know.
I should throw him a GODDAMN SENZU BEAN,
AND LET YOU FIGHT HIM! (To be fair Gohan, you should've just cooperated and NOT be a coward) [True but this is still badass] {Goku Owned Counter: OVER 9000!}
GOHAN'S BITCH: Huh. I see what you're getting at, Gohan...
DARTH GOHAN: Then shut up and put on your poncho. (Oh... that shade)
You're in the Splash Zone. {o h g o d} (He's kidding right?)
GOKU: Is that also a red flag...? (If that isn't, nothing is...)
PICCOLO: *CRIMSON*. {I would say The Darkest shade of red}
PER. CELL: (Groaning as he regrows his lost limbs)
PER. CELL: "Alright, Cell, we saw what losing your cool got you.
So tone down the Freeza and chill the hell--" (IT *WAS* A FREEZA MOVE)
Edgy: Y'done getting your shit together up there? [man, Gohan owning EVERYTHING today]
'Cause I'm starting to get bored. *He's pulling a Goku from Episode 30. Like Father Like Son Gohan.*
(T R I G G E R E D.)
FREEZA?: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME, YOU HAPLESS LITTLE *SHIT*?!?! [Gohan pushing all the buttons today]
TOTALLY NOT GOKU: I said I'm bored.
You're boring me. [Well at least we know he inherited SOME Goku]
PER. CELL: (MEGA-ANGRY NOISES)
(And another dirty shot to the gut) [And it was at this moment that Cell became absolutely 100% F*CKED]
KRILLIN: Hot *DAMN*! Anyone else feel that?! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
TRUNKS: Pretty sure my pity well has bottomed out.
PER. CELL: (gargles marbles)
(Gross bodily noises) [Always chew your food, kids.]
GOKU: Oh, no...
Guys, uh...
Starting to think he wasn't kidding about the Splash Zone! (Me too.)
{Food Poison kids}
KRILLIN: WOW!
On the Edge: It's a girl. (YO! CELL HAS THE POWER TO PUKE CHICKS!)
Mazal Tov.
(Cell vomits again) (Morning sickness, am I right?)
KRILLIN: ANDROID 18!!! (So that's what you felt)
PICCOLO: Later!
18 FANBOY: But my Baeteen... (Don't ever say that again) [Aw cmon Krillin just wants love] (He deserves it)
PICCOLO: I WILL GET A HOSE! (I don't get it.)
(Krillin groans)
SAILOR MOUTH CELL: Ｆ*****************!!!! *Good thing the camera's Totaled. He'd probably lose his Hetap sponsorship saying this.*
Ｆ***! {Youtube is gonna call in about this shit}
Ｆ***! Ｆ***! {Youtube is gonna call in about this shit}
Ｆ***! Ｆ***! Ｆ***! Ｆ***!{Youtube is gonna call in about this shit}
Ｆ***! Ｆ***! Ｆ***! Ｆ**! Ｆ***! Ｆ***! {Youtube is gonna call in about this shit}
ＮＯ ＮＯ ＮＯ!
Ｆ***!!! Ｆ***!!! Ｆ***!!! Ｆ***!!! Ｆ***!!! [Thats a lot of F bombs.]
TOWEL BOY: Wait, so if he doesn't have 18 anymore, does that mean... (Cell swearing in the background) (YAMCHA'S ACTUALLY NOT AN IDIOT...Ah, who am I kidding? He really is.)
(Cell groans angrily as he devolves into an old racial stereotype)
(DRAMATIC REVEAL)
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (Heavy panting)
PICCOLO: Is that what he turned into after he beat me?
I'm Kind of offended by his lips. Am I *allowed* to be offended by his lips? [Don't ask us, we're just typing out captions]
KRILLIN: Are you offended by Mr. Popo's lips? [Pecking Order Krillin] (Krillin expect your Front door opening by midnight.) {Welp Krillin's fucked}
OFFENDED: Wait, can we *talk* about that?! (I doubt that) [not if you aren't suicidal]
(Seething with rage, fear, and sexual frustration)
HOMELESS BUG MAN: So, uh...
Gonna eat that? (Don't say anything Krillin)
DARTH GOHAN: No. [You gonna punch the 17 out of him, too?]
SEMI-PER. CELL: Then, uh, can I- [Damn I like this throwback to Cell vs Kenshiro]
DARTH GOHAN: *No*. (He's gonna kick you again, isn't he?)
SEMI-PER. CELL: (getting the shit literally kicked out of him)
JIMMY CHRISTMASCRACKER: Mr. Satan...
I'm gonna be straight with you.
WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!
MR. SATAN: That camera's broken, right?
LARRY: FUBAR, sir.
MR. SPEAKING THE TRUTH: I've no f*ckin' idea. (About goddamn time)
DAD IN A RUSH: Gohan! Do it now!
End this! [Goku saying somehing smart for the first time in this tournament]
DARTH GOHAN: Fine.
(under breath) Christ, if you want him to die so bad, kill him yourself. {WAIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH GOHAN IS SPITTING FACTS RIGHT NOW}
Pretty sure anyone with blonde hair over there could. (There's a huge difference between *could* & *would*)
SEMI-PER. CELL: "Kill me?
No, no, no, no, no, NO! [Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!]
I can't die to this... [You can and WILL die to this]
He's a middle-schooler throwing a tantrum.... [and you are a 6 year old bug man about to get squashed]
AND I AM THE PERFECT BEING! (Actually you're only Semi-Perfect now) [But you're either perfect...or you're not Gohan]
...I was.
Then HE TOOK IT AWAY... *KICK it away*
HE TOOK IT AWAY FROM ME!" {And he's about to take your damn life and fucking get rid of it} (What? You gonna blow yourself up over it?)
S O I ' L L T A K E E V E R Y T H I N G A W A Y F R O M Y O U !(!) *Your actually f u c k I n g. KIDDING.* (Wait wha-)
(SP Cell screaming) (I WAS FUCKING KIDDING!)
(Inflate himself just like a balloon, this crazy bug might blow up the moon!) [Gohan should really be stopping this]
GOKU: Wait! I've seen this before. (On Deviantart?)
Krillin, when he turns blue, you gotta go sing a song! (Only you, Goku...Dumbass)
OOMPA-LOOMPA: For the last time, I am NOT KRILLIN! (LUL)
JIMMY JERKCRACKER: He-hey, Larry, look!
It's your mother!
Fat Mama's Son's: She's diabetic, dude.
FAT SHAMER: Yeah, 'cause she's fat!
LARRY: She lost a foot!
JACKASS: And now she's 50 pounds lighter. (Roasted 100%)
DARTH GOHAN: So what was the plan here?
Become so grotesque I wouldn't wanna touch you?
Because I'll be honest: it's working. (Gohan is spitting fire)
LARRY'S DIABETIC MOM: OH, MY DEAR BOY...
I THINK I FINALLY REALIZED WHAT I INHERITED FROM Y O U (Intelligence?) (Not being a little bitch?)
DARTH GOHAN: Not my BMI, obviously. {Ouch}
BLOW UP-BUG: (Laughs)
NO, GOHAN
IT WAS YOUR E̖͓̝̭̥̱̼̬ͯ͐ͧ̍ͭ̌ͨ͌̒͑͌ͩ͋́̕͢ Ẍ̸̴̢̻͔̙̝́ͮ̄̀̆̍ͮ͐̔ͦ̀ͪͣ̄̋̓̚͘͡ P̽̾ͬ͐̋͘͜͠͏̩̙̗͍͖ L̷̷̘͉̦̥͙̝̦͍͓̫̺͙͖͍ͬ̾̄̈́̍ͥ̓ͧ́͆́ Ơͯ̆̾ͮ̽ͮ̅͠͏̨͚̹̺̪̟̫̪͖̭̫̺͕̜̖̫̤͡ S̵̵̢͓͎͓̟͕̠̺̩ͨ́ͥͯ͞ͅ Ī̡̼͎͍̯̩͈̪̖̗̠̪̜̘̖̙̮́̅̉͋ͪͥ͜ V̵̧̡̮̱͕͍̠̖̬̪̜̘̳͕̮͇̪̒ͦ̌̐ͬ̑̋̇͑̎̀͞ Ė̘͚͚̰͙͇͉̬̟͈̜̟̣̹͉̲̯̯̓͋͒̈́̌̓ͬ̍̌̕̕͞ TEMPER. [oh no]
PICCOLO: Oh, no.
DARTH GOHAN: Oh NO!
KOOL-AID HETAP BUG MAN: OH YEEEAAAAH
YOU SEE, IN 5 FRIEZA MINUTES FROM NOW, I'M GOING TO B U R S T {We're doing this shit again, huh? Welp, better bring out the old stopwatch.} 00:00
YOU SEE, IN 5 FRIEZA MINUTES FROM NOW, I'M GOING TO B U R S T {We're doing this shit again, huh? Welp, better bring out the old stopwatch.} 00:01
YOU SEE, IN 5 FRIEZA MINUTES FROM NOW, I'M GOING TO B U R S T {We're doing this shit again, huh? Welp, better bring out the old stopwatch.} 00:02
YOU SEE, IN 5 FRIEZA MINUTES FROM NOW, I'M GOING TO B U R S T {We're doing this shit again, huh? Welp, better bring out the old stopwatch.} 00:03
YOU SEE, IN 5 FRIEZA MINUTES FROM NOW, I'M GOING TO B U R S T {We're doing this shit again, huh? Welp, better bring out the old stopwatch.} 00:04
YOU SEE, IN 5 FRIEZA MINUTES FROM NOW, I'M GOING TO B U R S T {We're doing this shit again, huh? Welp, better bring out the old stopwatch.} 00:05
AND TAKE YOU 00:05
AND TAKE YOU 00:06
ＡＮＤ ＴＨＩＳ ＷＨＯＬＥ ＷＲＥＴＣＨＥＤ ＷＯＲＬＤ ＷＩＴＨ ＭＥ!!! 00:07 *Eh, Give it another Saga.*
ＡＮＤ ＴＨＩＳ ＷＨＯＬＥ ＷＲＥＴＣＨＥＤ ＷＯＲＬＤ ＷＩＴＨ ＭＥ!!! 00:08 *Eh, Give it another Saga.*
ＡＮＤ ＴＨＩＳ ＷＨＯＬＥ ＷＲＥＴＣＨＥＤ ＷＯＲＬＤ ＷＩＴＨ ＭＥ!!! 00:09 *Eh, Give it another Saga.*
ＡＮＤ ＴＨＩＳ ＷＨＯＬＥ ＷＲＥＴＣＨＥＤ ＷＯＲＬＤ ＷＩＴＨ ＭＥ!!! 00:10 *Eh, Give it another Saga.*
DARTH GOHAN: So what you're saying is I have less than a minute to kill you. 0:10
DARTH GOHAN: So what you're saying is I have less than a minute to kill you. 0:11
DARTH GOHAN: So what you're saying is I have less than a minute to kill you. 0:12
LARRY'S MOM: AH AH AH 0:13
LARRY'S MOM: AH AH AH 0:14
ANY ATTACK COULD SET ME OFF 0:15
ANY ATTACK COULD SET ME OFF 0:16
ANY ATTACK COULD SET ME OFF 0:17
A PUNCH, 0:18
A KICK, 0:19
A LEAF OF THIN MINT! 0:20 {That's oddly specific} *What about a Hakai?*
A LEAF OF THIN MINT! 0:21 {That's oddly specific} *What about a Hakai?*
A LEAF OF THIN MINT! 0:22 {Screw this I'll just post reminders} {That's oddly specific} *What about a Hakai?*
SO, HOW ABOUT YOU SAVOR THE TIME YOU HAVE LEFT
BEFORE I GO POP! (Pop u say?) (pop goes the weasel)
HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE CELL GAMES! (sponsored by HeTap)
BYE EVERYBODY! GOOOOOOO F*CK YOURSELVES [I wonder if Saitama is still willing to come in at the last minute?]
(Sudden realization: like Saiyan, like father, like Son Gohan)
GOHAN: I did exactly what my dad and Vegeta do... {Light Side points +1}
WHAT IS THIS SHIT?! GENETIC?! (Saiyans, am I right?)
(Cell's maniacal laughter)
(Heroically ominous trumpet)
HEROIC IDIOT: Well...
{10 Seconds until the b o o m}
I guess I should go clean up my mess, huh? {9 Seconds until the b o o m} (prepare the feels train, we are going full steam ahead)
I guess I should go clean up my mess, huh? {8 Seconds until the b o o m} (prepare the feels train, we are going full steam ahead)
PICCOLO: Goku...? {7 Seconds until the b o o m}
{6 Seconds until the b o o m}
{5 Seconds until the b o o m}
GOKU: All of you... Take it easy. {4 Seconds until the b o o m}
GOKU: All of you... Take it easy. {3 Seconds until the b o o m}
GOKU: All of you... Take it easy. {2 Seconds until the b o o m}
VEGETA: Wait- {1 Seconds until the b o o m}
KRILLIN: Are you... {1 Seconds until the b o o m}
{ka-pop}
GOKUUUUUUUU!!! {Holy shit that sounds like the funimation dub Krillin's Goku screech} [The more you know "{}"]
(pop)
SOON TO BE FATHERLESS CHILD (again): Huh?
EXTRA THICC (SORRY NOT SORRY): Huh?! (This is your final warning to ready your eyes)
ACTUALLY BEING A GOOD FATHER FOR ONCE: Hey, son.
GOHAN: Dad...?
Wh-what are you-
AN IDIOT NO LONGER: I-I'm sorry.
Fighting is... what makes me happy. (Its the BIG one thing that makes you happy)
And I just thought it would make you happy, too. (well murdering the Cell Jrs. and humiliating Cell probably made him happy.) [He did seem pretty enthusiastic about it all]
And I want you to know... SP CELL: :0
...that that year we spent in the Time Chamber... [You know Goku's serious when he said Time Chamber right!]
...was the best year of my life. [that day we spent in the time chamber was the best year of my life]
Take care of your mom.
ABOUT-TO-BE-FATHERLESS-CHILD-FOR-THE-THIRD-TIME: Hold on- are you-?
GOOD FATHER FOR ONCE: I'm proud of you, Gohan.
Goku's Family Motto: "Bye, son."
(Bigger than usual Pop)(So he DID go pop!)
GOHAN: NOOOOOOOOO!!!
(NO)
SOON TO BE HOMELESS GOD: Goku...
...for the sake of your friends,
your family,
your planet,
you gave yourself.
I'll see you soon, my friend. [Maybe sooner than he thinks.]
ORANGE IDIOTIC HILLBILLY: Hey King Kai, what should I do with Cell? (You said something about Goku being a friend?) (OH SH-T!!!!!!) [Didn't we predict this back in Broly's movie? 10$ says we did] {THE IDIOT IS BACC}
(King Kai and friends screaming)
[WHAT THE FU-] (He said Goku would be the death of him and totally called it) [Called it! Pay up, Bitches!]
(mortem sine vestigium) BOJACK: YARGH, I'M FREE!(Give it a movie) [King Kai was right, Goku did end up being the death of him]
(Well shit.)
[meanwhile, back on Earth]
GOHAN: (Crying)
(Anguished cry)
GOHAN'S OFFICIAL DAD: Is it a bad time to point out Goku just stole that win? (Pretty much is)
GOHAN (driven to tears): Stupid, selfish, impulsive *hypocrite*!
You had one job: [ONE JOB]
GET ANGRY, AND KILL CELL!! (Wait, dont they have Dragon Balls?)
KRILLIN: Hey now, Gohan-
STUPID SELFISH IMPULSIVE HYPOCRITE (self-loathing): BUT NO!
You didn't just take a PAGE from Vegeta!
YOU WROTE A SEQUEL TO HIS FRICKIN' BOOK! (The Official Sayian Manual Sequel?) [Wait can we talk about that?]
KRILLIN: Gohan, listen to me.
GOHAN: 'Chapter 1: Kill Your Own Goddamn Dad!' (Broly approves!)
KRILLIN: *Gohan*!
GOHAN: WHAT?!
ETERNAL BRO: D r a g o n B a l l s. [Oh yeah they do have those] (Specifically Namekian) *We don't talk about the ones with the Black Stars.*
GOHAN: Oh. (did Gohan forget what show he's in?)
KRILLIN: Yeah.
GOHAN: Huh.
I mean I... still screwed up, though. (guess that was his B too.)
KRILLIN: And now you're one of us! [Just wait until the Buu Saga...]
JIMMY: Um...
It seems that Cell has... disappeared?
Along with the orange hillbilly. I,
frankly, am lost for words.
Hero of the Bunch: Either of you want a Little Green? (This can only go downhill from here)
MR. SATAN AND JIMMY: YES! (oh no)
KRILLIN: Well...
...guess this gives a new meaning to "picking up chicks." (confound you, puns!)
VEGETA: What are you doing with that? (Don't worry everyone, she's 18.) (He's gonna fuck her unconscious body isn't he?)
KRILLIN: I'm taking her to a... doctor? [Not quite...] (I think I saw this movie?)
Mechanic? [...getting warmer...]
A Bulma- I'm taking her to a Bulma. [Yeah, one of those.]
VEGETA: You put that RealDoll down this instant!
Owner of Two Magnificently Shaved Balls: Yeah, how 'bout no?
VEGETA: I can rip! You! IN! HALF!
Owner of Two Magnificently Shaved Balls: I know you can. (Alright Krillin!!) [Damn, since when did he have this kind of bravery?]
VEGETA: When did you get the balls...? [From watching Tien.]
BALLS THE SIZE OF HIS HEAD: If I said I didn't have anything to do with holding a beautiful woman in my arms, I'd be a liar! (What a man will do for a woman is amazing...Or plain stupid)
[Aw crapbaskets!]
[AAAWWWWWW C!R!A!P! B!A!S!K!E!T!S!]
P̵̢̲̱͔̬͔͍͔͍͓̼͔͔͎͓̣̃͗͂̇ͣ̐ͧͯ͂̆̇ͬ̎͑̑̌́͠: [Singing ⬇] ♪ "P" is for "Priceless", the look upon your faces... ♪ (Ohhh no...)
♪ P̵̵̢̣͎̥͓͖͍̯͔͓̭̻̰̤͈̼̠̝̮̜̃ͤͥ̾͋ͤ̓̎ͭ̏͐͑͆̉ͪ͌̊̅͋Ȩ͓̘̜̜̖͓̳̘̹̮͛̉ͣ͌ͨ̈̈̃ͨ̈ͭͭͩ́̔ͩ̀:"E" is for "Extinction", all your puny races... ♪ (Oh god no...)
P̢̪̤͖͕͖̹̼͕̫͈̮͍̖̦͎̒̊̿̃ͫ̀̽̊̂̎ͩͨ͒̍̌́͜͞E̶̵͙͙̝̺͙̻͔̒̈ͦ͆ͣ͛ͬ͌̋̈͡ͅŖ̀ͭ͋̓̽̆́҉҉҉̵̳͉̫̼̭̱̻̮̖̫̲:♪ "R" for "Revolution", which has been televised... ♪ (This motherfucker doesn't give up) *I blame the Freeza Cells.*
P̨̻̭̳̳͕̦͔̜̫̺͉̜ͤͯͤͩͦ̐̔̕͘͝E̸̥̤͉͈̻͖̫̹̲̜͚͔̥̥͕̪͚̺͒̄̌͂ͭ̓̀ͦ̑ͫ̔ͩͤ̒ͮ̔̐̊Ṙ̮̳̺̭͚̳͓͚̩͕̰͚̖͚̲̠͖̋ͤͯ̅̊̄̈́͆̾̓̉̆̑̿͡͞F̑̓͌̽͂ͯ̀ͮ͏̶̡̱̭̖͓̗̺̙́͟:♪ F is for how F***ed you are! ♪ (So fucked right now)
♪ Now allow me to repriiiise... ♪ (OH FU-) (HOW IS HE EVEN PERFECT RN?) [They'll probaby explain the next episo--]
TRUNKS: GAHHHH!!!! (TRUNKS NOOOOOO!!) ["Hey, there's a hole in my Trunks"] {"BULMA GET THE SEWING MACHINE! THERE'S A HOLE IN OUR TRUNKS!"} (HOLY SHI-) *SON OF A BI-* (GOD DAMN IT GUYS!!)
{...eep}
~Thank you for choosing Canada for you subbed experience, we hope you enjoyed your visit...
...and hope you will continue to view with us for episodes to come~
(See you all this Friday for the finale!) {the good part is I will be waiting with a raging boner} (subscribe for baeteen)