TRUNKS: BLARGLAAAH!!!! [OOF just like Vegeta]
VEGETA: [Shook] [Vegeta's Mind: N-NANI?!]
DEAD AS MUD: aaagh... ah... [Princess Trunks NOOOOOOO]
BACK, BITCHES: Aww shiet that was meant Tien! [Dang still have that hate boner bro?]
That's my B! [You could have at least hit Yamcha! He's unimportant!] [He brought towels that's more than what Krillin did] [And Vegeta]
It's just so hard to parse your power levels anymore (Gohan's Going To Be Mad)
You're all SO weak! [Meanwhile in DBS.]
CPT. OBVIOUS: Guys? CELL'S BACK!!! (Canada:No Der.)
MR. P. CELL: Thanks Yamcha! [Did he go semi-deaf from all that lightning?]
MR. P. CELL: Thanks Yamcha! [DONT ENCOURAGE HIM!]
But I see those shocked expressions of yours- [Everyone just pissed their pants]
brains wracking over HOW I'm back... [How did u come back?]
aaand BETTER THAN EVER!!!
And it all lies within my body~ [VEGETA: HOW MANY PUSH UPS???!!!!]
A nucleus EVER so small [VEGETA: HOW MANY SIT UPS???!!!!]
but FRIGHTENINGLY ~powerful~ [VEGETA: WHAT KIND OF JUICE DID HE DRINK???!!!!]{For starter's, Ginger Town}
-and lucky me!
It survived my little "Kamikazé" [We didn't even f*cking see that when he got point blank kamehameha'd by Goku]
Although Goku did not >:3 [Press F to pay respects]
[Is this what Piccolo goes through to regenerate?!]
But the most important part is
[CELL CELL: [KILL MEEEEEEEE]] But the most important part is
my inherited Saiyan biology-
-Thanks Dads [awwww how sweet]
REGEN CELL: [EVERYTHING HURTS!!!!] Gave me a boost in my power!
Returning me not only to my Perfect form,
But a foooorm even
GREATER THAN BEFORE!!!
Narrator P. Cell: GREATER THAN BEFORE!!! [Talk about jerking yourself off JEEZ you love yourself too much]
I...
...AM NOW-
YAMCHA: [very shook] Perfecter™ Cell! [God fucking dammit Yamcha it's Super Perfect Cell a.k.a SPC] [I thought he was called More Than Perfect Cell?]
PERFECTER CELL™: -Okay Yamcha, accurate, but tone it down. [Welp guess Yamcha used up what little usefulness he had]
GREEDY: Hey Gohan if ya knock him in the gut again you think he'll pop out a second 18? [Not the time Krillin]
Asking for a friend... [and is his name Krillin?]
GOHAN: huuAAAAAAAHHH!!! [His name is Juan]
GOHAN: huuAAAAAAAHHH!!! EVERYONE: [SPOOP]
I'm not even mad you're still alive [Good for you]
I've got some SHIT to work through~
MR. PERFECTER CELL™: Awww! Is the cat in the cradle?
Here...~
Let me put you in a GRAVE. [And it shall read "Not Even Mad lies here"]
VEGETA: [Shock and disbelief] [Vegeta's thought: HOW?!]
VEGETA: [Now very VERY angry] [wow he's hitting the stages of grief FAST] [VT: HOW?!-]
SOMEHOW NOT ALREADY DEAD: ow... [VT: Nani?]
VEGETA: [GASP OF FEAR]
DYING PRINCESS TRUNKS: help... [not as durable: Check]
S-someone... [HOW ARE U STILL ALIVE THAT SHOULD HAVE HIT YOUR HEART]
S-someone...*Ach* [HOW ARE U STILL ALIVE THAT SHOULD HAVE HIT YOUR HEART]
S-someone...*Ach* ...help...me... [HOW ARE U STILL ALIVE THAT SHOULD HAVE HIT YOUR HEART]
...I... [98% dead]
...I...*BLAHUAH* [that's not very 'princess like' behavior] (Oh, hey. like daughter, like father.) [99% dead]
CONCERNED PARENTAL FIGURE: [EVEN MORE SHOCK] [VT: My baby....]
USELESS HUMAN: Trunks! Duh- don't worry buddy! I've been where you are!
We're going to get you a Senzu Bean and- [You no longer have those]
He's dead. [Even trying to save Trunks ya still fail at that.] [Trunks.exe has stopped working]
Heeee's dead VEGETA: [Reality slowly hitting him]
USELESS: Been there too, I guess.
VEGETA: [heavy anime breathing] USELESS: [low-pass filter] Although honestly the afterlife part isn't too bad. [Shit its just like Namek all over again!] [VT:M-my...]
The whole dying part of it is... [would someone for the love of Zeno please SHUT HIM UP] [VT: B-baby...]
haunting.... [Boy...]
VEGETA: [You must construct additional pylons] USELESS: [low-pass] everything kinda just slows down and [please, Yamcha, JUST STOP]
[continued surprised anime grunt-gasping]
[He's getting mad]
ALSO USELESS: [low-pass] OH MY DENDE SOMEONE FINALLY PUT IT INTO WORDS!
*non ear ringing muffledness* YAMCHA: Is it any easier the second time? [I'd question the conversation but you all died and I havent]
KRILLIN, EXPERT AT DYING: Believe it or not it's worse!
VEGETA: rrrRRR-
MY
BABY
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY [Origin of "That's my Bulma"]
BABY BOY'S FATHER: RRYYAAAAAAAAA!
GOHAN: Vegeta no! [Vegeta yes!]
VEGETAYES.EXE: VEGETA!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!!! [Santa wasn't enough, huh?]
MR.PERFECTER™.CELL: [braces for impact]
[Vegeta WHEN will you ever learn those don't work!]
[Heh, 6 points for style]
MR.PERFECTER CELL™: Vegeta
MR.PERFECTER CELL™: Vegeta, NO.
VEGETA NO: [Bitch Slapped] AH!
Ahawww... [Your 30-day trial of vegetayes.exe has expired.]
[Remember kids, always Vegeta no]
...uhugh...ah...
THOT SLAYER CELL™: Goodbye Thotgeta
and when you get to hell...
Tell them to make some room... [It is quite full after all the lives he SUCCed] [I would have thought he'd want Geets to tell Goku "Like a bitch"]
NO GUY: No!
[REALLY? OUT OF EVERYONE? YOU CHOSE VEGETA?!]
PICCOLO: MY BABY BOOOOOOOYYY!!!!!!
MR™PERFECTER™ CELL™: For Vegeta...?
MR.P(ER).C.: For Vegeta...? Really? [Just thought the same thing.] (Hey, better die for Vegeta then for Yamcha!)
HATE-BONER TRICLOPS: Yeah, really?!
HELICOPTER DAD: REALLY?! [ALUCARD:(IN ANOTHER DIMENSION):REALLY?!]
[Gohan grunting 'cause HE PROTECTED VEGETA]
POOR DECISION-MAKER: As long as I'm still breathing,
POOR DECISION-MAKER: As long as I'm still breathing, you won't kill anyone else.
SPC™: No prob', I can free up five minutes...
...or however long it takes to charge *this.* (Is he using the spirit bomb???)
GOHAN: *GASP!*
PANICKING FATHER: Krillin, senzu now!
BEANDADDY JR: Uh, you know how we only had eight beans, right? [They aren't unlimited?]
REASONABLE ONE: And?
BEANDADDY: And how many people are here?
BIG-BROW ALIEN DUDE: ssso we're out of
FORMER BEANDADDY: WE'RE
BIG-BROW ALIEN DUDE: ssso we're out of FORMER BEANDADDY: WE'RE OUT OF SENZU BEANS!
SPC™: I want you to know
SPC™: I want you to know this blast isn't just meant for you,
SPC: I want you to know this blast isn't just meant for you, Gohan.
It goes out to the entire world!
My Swan Song to this planet.
[Swan Song Commences]
WOULD BE EXCELLENT AT CINEMASINS: Vegeta,
WOULD BE EXCELLENT AT CINEMASINS: Vegeta, you brain-dead
WOULD BE EXCELLENT AT CINEMASINS: Vegeta, you brain-dead IDIOT.
Trunks could've been brought back,
Trunks could've been brought back, no problem! [Gohan really needs to work on enunciation]
WOULD BE EXCELLENT AT CINEMASINS: Vegeta, you brain-dead IDIOT. Trunks could've been brought back, no problem. But no,
But no, you pick NOW to be a parent?!
Oh, well look at me.
I'm no better. [CELL YOU'VE GOT HIM MONOLOGUING]
Could've just let YOU BITE IT!
Now I'm monoplegic and Cell's gonna kill us all!
BRAIN-DEAD IDIOT: I'm...
MONOPLEGIC: [anime gasp-grunt] LIL' VEGGIE: I'm...
BRAIN-DEAD IDIOT: I'm... ...sorry... [What?]
GOHAN: :O
MONOPLEGIC: Oh wow, we ARE FUCKED [Oh wow, they didn't do the shitty 900Hz bleep]
THIRSTY: Well, if this is it, then...
ᴵ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵘ
USELESS BICLOPS: Hey Tien?
...since this is the end,
USELESS TRICLOPS: If you're about to say
USELESS TRICLOPS: If you're about to say "I love you,"
USELESS TRICLOPS: If you're about to say "I love you," I swear to Whatever Gohan Likes...
USELESS BICLOPS: Actually...
...I was gonna say
USELESS BICLOPS: Actually... ...I was gonna say you're the biggest asshole I know. (#TruthBomb)
BIGGEST ASSHOLE HE KNOWS: [wotm8]
BIGGEST ASSHOLE HE KNOWS: oh
USELESS BICLOPS: ...you're also my best friend.
USELESS BICLOPS' ASSHOLE BEST FRIEND: ...so're you, man. (Since Chiaotzu isn't here, GAY!)
SPC™: Honestly, Gohan,
the maraschino cherry on top of all of this [THOSE ARE NOT REAL CHERRIES]
SPC™: Honestly, Gohan, the maraschino cherry on top of all of this (besides rending you from existence)
is that, because I am not burdened
SPC™: Honestly, Gohan, the maraschino cherry on top of all of this (besides rending you from existence) is that, because I am not burdened by the evolutionary failure of aging,
. . İ͖͉̞̱͚̗̀̀̏͋́͒͌̇̚ ̸̟̱̞̭͚̋̈́̑̀͠
Ï̧̨̪̗̫̻͂̊̍͆̉̐̍͢ ͈͚̭̬̗̣͋͒̈́̓͆͒̑W̢̟̰͉̫̬̦̻̫͑́͛̃̉̅̍͝͝͝ I̵̧̦̦͈̹̜̪̔͒͆̂̾͠ L̷̩̬̺͔̥͇͇͔̀͗̎͐́̊̑̾͜͜͞ Ĺ̤͙̅̓̑̏̒̚͘͠͞
. . Ï̧̨̪̗̫̻͂̊̍͆̉̐̍͢ ͈͚̭̬̗̣͋͒̈́̓͆͒̑W̢̟̰͉̫̬̦̻̫͑́͛̃̉̅̍͝͝͝ I̵̧̦̦͈̹̜̪̔͒͆̂̾͠ L̷̩̬̺͔̥͇͇͔̀͗̎͐́̊̑̾͜͜͞ Ĺ̴̤͙͕̺̦̬͓͔̻̅̓̑̏̒̚͘͠͞ ̶̡͎̗̩̱̲͆̈̽̋̄́͘L̴̞͙̣̪̥͇͉̀̎̌͗̽ Ị̴̜̘̥̌̈̔̈́͜͝ V̶̨͔̱̳̦̙̝͚̝͖̉̔̾̃̌͘̕̕͞ Ȩ̨̯̦̜͓͗̀̈̋̕̕͟͠͝
̛̯̫̘͇̰̠̯͔͂͛͑̅͘͘͝͝͝F̷̗̤̱̠͗̿̔́͋͝ͅ Ơ̵̡̨̺̳̻͋́̓͂̂̅̕̚͞ͅ R̳̰̞͎̤̈́͑͑͑̌́̿͂̔͟͞
. . Ï̧̨̪̗̫̻͂̊̍͆̉̐̍͢ ͈͚̭̬̗̣͋͒̈́̓͆͒̑W̢̟̰͉̫̬̦̻̫͑́͛̃̉̅̍͝͝͝ I̵̧̦̦͈̹̜̪̔͒͆̂̾͠ L̷̩̬̺͔̥͇͇͔̀͗̎͐́̊̑̾͜͜͞ Ĺ̴̤͙͕̺̦̬͓͔̻̅̓̑̏̒̚͘͠͞ ̶̡͎̗̩̱̲͆̈̽̋̄́͘L̴̞͙̣̪̥͇͉̀̎̌͗̽ Ị̴̜̘̥̌̈̔̈́͜͝ V̶̨͔̱̳̦̙̝͚̝͖̉̔̾̃̌͘̕̕͞ Ȩ̨̯̦̜͓͗̀̈̋̕̕͟͠͝ ̛̯̫̘͇̰̠̯͔͂͛͑̅͘͘͝͝͝F̷̗̤̱̠͗̿̔́͋͝ͅ Ơ̵̡̨̺̳̻͋́̓͂̂̅̕̚͞ͅ R̳̰̞͎̤̈́͑͑͑̌́̿͂̔͟͞ Ę̧̩͔̺̭̅̓̾̎̓̌̐͂̇́ V̶͓̗̙̰̬̥̲͉̳͆̈̑͐̕ Ư̵̤͎͈͙͋̋̒̌̇͌͆͘̕͜͟ H̸̨̜͙̭͎̪̲̘͓̀̎̃͋̄̈̌͆͡
Free to roam the stars. [From here to the stars, With my candy bars, Rides a bug With a knack For perfection.]
Gonna have to pick up a hobby,
Gonna have to pick up a hobby, though.
I'm thinking
[less sinister than I expected] Gonna have to pick up a hobby, though. I'm thinking craft brewing. (I was thinking more of a singer)
PRESENT GOHAN: So this is how I die.
Down an arm
and killed by an android. [more like a bio-android]
...why does this feel oddly familiar? [HAH]
REAL DAD: GOHAN!
SNAP OUT OF IT!
YOUR FATHER WOULDN'T SIT THERE AND TAKE IT
[you sure he wouldn't?] YOUR FATHER WOULDN'T SIT THERE AND TAKE IT
AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU!
SITTING THERE AND TAKING IT: Mister Piccolo...
NO LONGER DIRTY/SWEATY: You wanna do right by Goku?
Then DON'T LET THAT BASTARD SCARE YOU! [why is Then not in caps?]
BASTARD: He's right, brat!
It's just like ya told me.
There's no point in being afraid of the inevitable
BRAT: Yeah.
I guess you're right.
[Badass final power-up with orchestral doomsday]
SPC: OwO
GOHAN: KA...
GOHAN: KA-ME...
[still annoys me] GOHAN: KA-ME...
FLOPPY ANTENNAE: With one arm?
HA...
FIGHTBONER: MAGNIFICENT! One last stand against me!
A climactic showdown!
ME...
FIGHTBONER: GIMME WHAT YOUR DADDY COULDN'T BEFORE I SEND YA HOME TO HIM! (uh, Piccolo doesn't have a home) [shh dont ruin it]
HAAAAAAAA!!
MAGNIFICENT: HAAAAAAAAA!!!!
KRILLIN: Grab your bodies, and move!!
PAPALLO: Kill 'im, runt. [He's suddenly sweaty and scratched again]
RUNT: (struggling)
PERFECTER™ CELL: (horny cackling)
[the physics of those are quite undefined] CINEMASINS: 'ts a reeeal good thing beams don't just explode on impact with each other
[Fair warning, this is where thing's are gonna get epileptic.]
SPF|P(er™)CELL: TELL ME WHEN THAT ARM STARTS FEELING NUMB BRAT!
THEN I'LL START TRYING!
WORST CASE SCENARIO: [MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!]
YOU DIE AND GET STRONGER
IT DID WONDERS FOR MEEE!!!!
BRAT: IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT YOU JUST SHUT UP AND FIGHT?!
CELL: WHAT'S THAT, BRAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU. TRY SIGN LANGUAGE!
THE ONE WHO ASKS THE REAL QUESTIONS: If someone with one arm speaks with sign language, is that a speech impediment or an accent? [NOW'S NOT THE TIME ,KRILLIN!]
ANGRY 1 ARM WORKING KID: (D-dammit... my legs feel like they're about to give out... I can't feel my arm... AND NOBODY'S SHUTTING THE HFIL UP!)
UNHELPFUL GHOST FATHER: Oh, sorry. I-I-I'll come back later.
ORPHAN: DAD?!
DAD: Hey, Son! Sorry it took me so long to call.
King Yemma's line was the WORST. I literally thought I skipped it and went straight to HFIL! [is the monkey seriously picking its nose?]
WEIRD PHONE: YOU SHOULD GO TO HFIL!
PLANET DESTROYER: Also the phone won't stop yelling at me.
DISARMED: (DAD, I,
I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS!
HE'S SO MUCH STRONGER, AND- AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT!) [Soft Piano Version of "Gohan's Anger" plays]
IT WAS MY COWARDICE,
AND MY HUBRIS,
AND NOW MY WEAKNESS
WE'RE ALL GONNA-
SON GOKU: Gohan, I wanna tell you that if you don't do this, Your dad is gonna die. Your mom's gonna die.
EVERYONE is gonna die.
But before all that, if you don't do this, YOU'RE gonna die.
And you're better than that. You're better than him! You're better than ME! [We are all aware of that one Goku]
Per™ CELL: WOAH, NELLY!
BECOMING IRRELEV-WAHAHAHAHAH!!: See? I'm not even CLOSE to that strong!
ʸᵉᵗ
You're MORE than just Piccolo's son. YOU are SON GOHAN!
Now plant your feet, grit your teeth, and
E A T
T H A T
A S S ! !
HUNGRY HUNGRY SAIYAN: RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!
PERFECTER™ HORSE: So what's this, brat? Your second wind or your dying gasp?
Either way, it doesn't mattah. Behold the power OF TWO HANDS! (apparently Revy is Cell's favorite Black Lagoon character)
FATHER: GOHAN!
DADDY: No.
DURACELL: Take solace, Gohan!
Though you have fought alone,
you will not DIE alone.
That is my last gift to you!
A
P̵̡̧̨̨̢̢̢̡̧̢̨̢̧̧̢̡̧̧̢̡̢̧̡̨̢̢̛̛̛̛͕̩̙͎͖̱̩̺̺̝͈͎͉̩͍̬̮̲͖̙̞̞͓̬̪̠͖̼̟̮͓̟̖͉̰͈̪̤̬͖̙̬̩͍̰̥̣̬̗͙̺̯͓̙̝̯͓̹̳͙̞͖̯͖̻͙̫̬͍̩̘͍̦̠͕̝̖͔̜̤̳͇̯̠̬̫̖͓͓̗͈͖̖̙͙͕͈̻͉̮̩͙͔̥̗̝̠͔͇̹̳̥͚̩͍̟̳͓̥͖͎̹̰̮̭͎̝͔̫̘͖̥̳͙̖̜̥̲̺̜̯͕̫̦͎͕͔̩͙̘̯͙̱͔̜̙͎͔͍͕̭͓̜͓̞͕̯̪͉͉̩̯̳̦̹̭̻̯̠͇̟̣͇͉͈͉͕̠̣̭̯̦͎̟͓͔̘͕͈̖̝͖̩̘͖̱̲̰͚̳̹̮̱̖̜̪͎̮͚͕̩̙̯̣̣̔͑̒̄̀̌̇͐̽̄̓͗́́̔̍̔͐͗̍͋̂̋̑̒̃̀̆͌̒͊̂͛̋̈́̂̑̅̒̀͋̋́͊̊̽̓͆̈̔̓̀͂̂̎͒̊͂̀͒̉̎̽̓̒͋̉̋̀̂͋̋͌̓͐́͌̔̓̈́͆̋͒̀͂̈́͛͊́̅̈́͐̓̓̄͛̏̎͆̈́̂̾̈͆̈́͆̋̀͒̓̈́̄̑́̇̐̽̔̌̿̉̔̓̌̓̒͋̅̒̎͊̌͛̋͊̊̄̎̄́͗̀͌̍̏̐̌͒̂͋̍̒̎̉̀̓̐́̐́̽͋̈͒̔̇̔̊͛̊̃̒́̽̂͐̄̀́̾̀̏͛̌́̉͋̔̂̒̍̚̕̕͘̕̕̕͘̚͘̚̚͜͜͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅͅ ̷̡̨̡̧̡̡̢̡̨̢̨̛̛̛̛̟̥̟͇̟͎̞̖̲̟̦̫̖͕̥̥̣̝͚̭̗̼̟̻̻̦̤̬͙̬̮̗̰̜̤̖͕͍̝̩͖̩̼̙̠̖̦̜̲̂̀̐̋͒́̿̃͆̈́̏̓͆̀̀̆̈́̐́̈́̾̽́͑̈̏̈́̿̒̉̎̉͒̐͐͗́͋͆̎̔͌̆̔̇̊̂̋͂̈́̌͋̏͊̒͛̾̋͗̎͌̾̏͂͆̐͛̊̈̍̄̉̈́̈̀̀̐̒̀͛̏͛̊̒͑͐͂̔̉̀͆̓͋̑͋̄̀̈́̄̍͋̊͗̈̎̑̅̕̕̕̕͘̕͘̚̕̕̕͜͝͝͠͠͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅȨ̵̧̢̧̡̨̨̨̡̡̢̢̛̛̛̛̛̛̙̥̫͍̣̠̬̭̻̲̩͇͎̠͎͚͕̭̩̥̲̥͕̟̞̖̬͖̫͕͓͍̳̥̳̤͚̫̘̺͇̳̹̭̜͇̣͖͔̗̬̮̬̙̞̰̳̪͕̗͙̤͍̱̝̘͉̟̳͖̟̫̼̬̯̳̱̺̟̰̩͍͔͍̹̝͈̹̺̞̼̗͖̤̘͈̟̙̙̥͎̤̳̟͓̰͈̣̯̠̠̬̠̞̭̥͆̌̾̍̈́͋̒̀̋̀́̈́̓͊̓̂̓̈͆͌̎̆͊̀̍̐͌̄̒́̽̀̋̓͛̄̾̇̈́̆͋̉͗͒͂̏̈͛͐̈̈́̄̃̅̄̑̍̈́͊̐͆̓̇̈̇́̆̑̀̇̆̋͆̆̀̒̌́́̀̈́̿́̈́̿͑̃̋͒̄́̍̑̋͂̂̋̽̇̽͆̇̓̉̎͑͗͗̐́̊͋̊͂͐̏̄̂̑͗̎̆̀̃̈̋̽̀̉́͗̾͒͗̍͒͐̈́̈́̌̒̉͗̽͋̀̈̈̄̓̅̃̓̈̐͛̊̑̓̊̐̆̕̚͘͘͘̕͘̕̕͘͜͜͜͜͜͠͠͝͠͠͝͠͝͝ͅͅͅͅ ̸̧̧̧̡̨̢̡̧̧̨̧̢̢̡̡̧̨̨̧̡̢̨̛̛̛͕̳̙̤̠̥͖̘̹̥̙͚͚̫͇͇͉͍̤̞̯̲͖̲̜͓̻͚͚̬̜̜̲͔͉̺̘͙̯͎̹̦̱̫̘͕̮̱̱̠̖͖̰̭̪̥̯̹̝͓̖̭͇̣͖̦͔̗̬̯̻̘̤̮̠̟̩̣̬̝̰̠̻̩̣͚̬̞̙͓̮̟̯̣̺͚̠̟̣̥̱̟̜̘̤͈̖͎̙̺̭̞͎̦͉̪͈̼͕̞̺̮̺͈̱̙͍̳̟̫͎̲̱̟̹͎̘̱͈̮̱̤͕̭̝͎̣̻̹̙͇̥̯͓̠̫̱̞̯̲̘̻̖͎̱̩̬͕͍͇͇͍̗̩̲̼̝̩̲͙̮͙̦̹̼̟̞̯̩̻̬͔̝̺̤̱̖̥̟̣͚͈̟͎͔̮̺͎͙̥̼̜͔̟͔̳͇̭̗͈̗͚̩̤͉̣̜̜̰̯͉̺͚͍͎̼̞̦̩̥̫̦̩̝̱̹̞̘̦͓̥̫̼̺̒̉̉͆̐͗̍͐̄̏̿́̅̽͐͆͗́̓̾̍̊͐͛̄̔̏̿͗̆̄̀̈́̇̒̎̈́̓̉͋͂͋̂͗̃̓̐́͛́͌́̌̓̆̈́̽́́̌̊͊̇̒̃͆̅̐̈́͛̽͌͛̂̊͒̈́͗̍̄̅̋͗̓̀̒̀̆̆́̐̊̇͛̒̈́͒́͗̈̽̊̈́̊̿̀̉͗̈́̓͒̽͐̅͆͗͂̾̈́̏̔͂̐̆̉̾́̂́͒̇͂͌̈́͑̀̓̿̽̆̆̓͑͛̈̾͐̋́͗̄̉̃̐̂̇͑̇̈́̈̂̈́̎̎͒͆͌̐̆̊̀̌̃̋̈́̃̒͆͋̆̔̓̉͋͛̂͒̀̆̾́́̀̆̃̒̄̇̍͑͂̓̍̒̇̽́̂̉͊̔͆̋̆̊̚͘̚̕̚̕̕̚͘͘͘͘̕͘͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͠͝͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͝͠͝͠͝ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅŔ̷̨̡̡̡̨̡̧̧̧̡̡̨̡̧̨̨̡̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̝̣͙͙̹̪̘̺̣̫͚̬͔͙̩͚̩̻̝̯̭̞̣̝̺̤͕̹̠̭͍̮̦̤͍̤̖͍̦͍̖̱̗̻̻̪̠͙͚̪̜͍͕͖͔͈͕̟͉̼͙͎̳̙̹̯̪̱͙͕̖̟̜̰̳̳̫̫̦̟̻̫̹̼̼͈̲̯̥̗̠̥̼̭͓͇̳̖̤̩͖̹̤̦͚̫͈̹̱̤̼̘̞̘͔̮̯̝̰̖̻̯͓͇̘̗̺̻̺̪͇͖͉͔͙͈̘̩̭͍̹̜̺͕̝̜̩̩̞̥̗̫̘̫̟͖͓̳͇̺̞̘͇̲͓̹̲̠̱͇̝̹̣̰͔̞͉̭̝͇̦̱̱͖͚̟̼̳̂̒̒̃̄̈́̀̇̈̍͆̉̄̈̉͒̋̾̽͐̐̆̈́̇͑͗̀̾́͛̐͛̇̾͂̉̓̊̅̏̈̒͑͛͌̍̎̃̊̒̔̓͌̂̐̍͌̽̅̊̈́͌͒͂̒̅̇̐͒̽͆̆̀̌͐͐̒̌͗̆̐̃͒͊̄̔̿̍͐̀̐͑̈̈́͐́̿̈͌́̌̈́̇̿͆̄̌͊́́̃̈́̄̄̃͐̑̌̐̀͑̾̏̇͐̍̈́̔͊̿͑̓̑́̔̂̃̒̀͑́͂̒̽̿̽͊́͆̄̉́̆̆͌͗̈̍͊̅̽́̌̍́̀͂̈́̊̀̀͑̈́̀͊̈́͊̀͆̽̔͐͋͂̈́̃̽͑̑̀̄̿̌̄̽́͆͛͛̎͋̑̍̾̊͒͌͐͊̿̂̌̇͗̏͌̓͒͘̚̕̚̚̕̕̚̚͘̕̕̚̕͘̚͘̚̚͜͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅ ̴̨̨̧̧̧̨̧̢̛̛̛̛̛̛̗̝̼̩̰̭̪̩̯̥̹̭͙̞̯͎͎̲͔͉̣̘̱̤̼͚̱̬͓̘̲̝̯̭̹̤͙̩̯̫̣̠̣͕̬̩̻̙̘̘̹̺̬̙̹͓̪̟̜͖͙̥̜͎͍̣͉̣̱̯͇̱̹͇̯͙̞̤̊͛̽̊̎̊́́͐̄̀̂́̐̆̃̐̇̑͌̃̓̑̾̏̈̋̔̄̒͗̑̄̒̾͆̋̃̆̂̾̇͑͒̇̐̎̀́̐̓̒͆͊̒͗̋̉̊̀̽̅͂͌̂͂̎̒̏̈́̇͗̋̑̈́̍̾̂̉̊͊̈̀̆̎̉̉̂̿̈́̀̒́́̈́̓̽̉͋͐̏̇͆̽͋̒͛̍̐̽̃̑͊̂͊̽̽̀̈̾̌̂̊͆̐͐͋̆̔̃͆͋̂͂̿̇̏͆̈́̈́̔̄́̄̆̿̈́̾̓̚̕͘̕͘̕̕̕̕͜͜͜͜͝͝͝͝͝͠͝F̵̧̢̧̢̢̡̨̨̧̡̡̢̡̨̢̧̡̧̡̨̧̛̛̛̘͇̜̮̩̠̮̪͓̭̗̰͓̣̪͍̗͇̖̻̭̘͚͓͕̜͔͎̳̞̜͍͚̲̤̝̠̭͈̬͖̥̹͔̹̲͎͉͕̘̣̲̹̻̠̫̝̰̱̬͍̝̺̣̜̥̟̤̪͇̟̳̣͈̠̪̬͉̬͓̘͎͎̬̪̭͎̲̙͚͓̹͚͙̱̬͇̫̮͈͚͉̠͓̭̗̗̟͈̙͕͓͙̩̗̰͔̞̬̞͇̙̱̠̝̲̮̣͈̝̝̟͎̯͍̰͎̝̬̘̮͍̣̦̲̼̙̟͎̦̣͎̦̝͈̗̙̲̫̲͈̮̱̯̥͈̳̼̰͔̙̮̞̥͇̞̳̠͉͇̖̙͈͇̭͇̻͔̭͚̲̲̝̟̰̻͕͉̙̰̙̙̘̻̲̝͈̗͓͉͈̦̞͇͇͙̗̲͎̻̖͖͙̱̻͂̉̇͊̓͊̃̐̑̅̿̇͂̽͒͋͐̓͊̾̃͗̄̔̓̇̈́̔̍̈̋͗̒̾̽̈́́̈̃̅͌͊̃̊̀͌̈́̋͂̇̍̋͑̏́͗́̈́̈́͆͋͛̀̆̊̀̈͌̑̇̅̿͆̏̅͂͘̚̕͜͜͜͜͜͝͠͝͝͝͠͝͠͠͠͝ͅͅͅͅͅ ̷̧̨̢̨̨̨̛̛̛̛̛̛̭̲̫̗̘̫̗̯͎̯̥͎͙̦͖̤͈̝̫̙̣̩͙͔̠͙̙̘͎̩̼͈̱̼̭̱̝̠̤̘̼̠̟̹͈̝̩̦̮̰̫̱̹̯̜̺̪̼̘̠͈̳͕̦̩̣̬͎̼̯̺̻̭̜̪͙͇̗̹̱̗͕͙̩͖̥͈̮̦̯̣̜̯̪͔̯̺̮̠̼̪͙̳͖̺̲̥̘̍͋̌̅̆͐̌̊̄̑̇͊͊̄͆̉̌̀̔̌̇͊̈́̿̌̃̈̄̊͊̓͊͆̊͋͌̀́̈́̀̋̓̔͑̅͌̈̿̀̍̎̄̈́͊̈́͒̏̒̓̽͌́̓̑̆̊̔͂͗̀̂͊̀̇̆̒̌͛͑̽͆͆̑̐̍̍̄̂̑͐̍͌̽̾͆̌̈́̀͋́̂͊̊̄̈́́̀̇̄̔̌̌̀̆́̆̄̒͑̆̃̀̈́̆̇͗̂̄̋͑̾͆̑̅́̉̾̑́̈͛͗̄̆̏̆̈̍͒́͆́̉͂̀͒̓̓͋̈́̽̋̾̂̿͊̂̄͑̉̋̅̎̐̂̍̉́͂̏͋̓̐͂̃̃̃̇̍̒̓̾͐̔̊̐̂͊̔̾̌̃́̐̍͑͂̄̀͑̾̀̄͌̈͊͂̓̅̏͊͌͑̎̂̂͋͘̚͘̕͘̕̕̕̕̕͘̕͜͜͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͠͝͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͠͠͝ͅͅĘ̵̨̧̡̛̛̛͚͈̬̞̼̩͍̟͎̩̙̹̫̯͓̹̩͉̮̥̼̯̘͖͎̼̟̲̗̠̭̫͕̬̹̪̫͇̬̱̹͕̈́͋̔̇̄̋̐̔̂́̓͒̅̐̾̋́̈͛̈́͑͒̾͐̊͐̔̓̀̃̔̓̓̃͂̉͊͂̍̿͂̐̃̓́̈́̾̇͋̊̀̽͑̂̾̑̌̋̂͛̅̋̀̈̽̆̒͗̈́̓̊̈́̿̔̓̒͂̈́́͊̀̍̂̚̕͘̕̚̚̚͘͜͜͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͠ ̸̨̧̧̢̨̧̧̡̢̧̢̢̡̨̡̢̡̛̦̦͇̣̰͚͎̬̦͉̲̲̖͓̳̖͉̥͎̤̠̗͚͇͓͙͙̹̱̭͉̖͈̺̦̠̩̠̙̫͇͙̙̗̲͉̙̳̹͓͙͔̭͉̦̳̖̥̫̥̻̼͕̺̘̪͈̞͎̖̫̻̟̱̻̻͇͙̤̠̬͔̝̳͓͔̜̘̣̣̻̬̲͇̗̮̘̭̹̭͈͚̖̮͍̗̖͔̦̹͚͍̳̮͙̺̥̩̦̹͖̘̫͙͖̩̼̠̹̰͕̣̞̲̯̘̼̝͇̜̠̯̥̠̲̱̖̠̲̺̹̱͔͚̘̲̠̬̟̺̜̲̗͔̯͖̣̗͍͖͚̞̹̠̬͈͉̟͚̱̘̳̮̠̤̫̫͉̰̥͓͎̟͇͎̺̦͔̟̪̹̘̹͍̭͓̯̠̣̠̪͍̘̲̺̜̞̞̲͔͚͙̦̳̖͍͙͇̘͎̮̯͉̖̙̙͓̘̫͈̦͎̥̞͙̺̙̬̤͇͉̥̯̻͙̩̬͚͉̠̮͔̘̜͔̹͂̽͐͋͛̌̈́̉̉̈́̂̈͐͊͆́̊́͐́̆̉͛̿̀͐͋͌̓̔̊͊̏̍͒͒̂͋̅̅̉̅̈̈́̂͗̇̓̔̒̈́̏̌͊̈͆̉̓̎̂̄̇̕͘̚͘͘̚͜͜͜͜͠͝͠͝͝ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅC̴̨̨̡̡̨̡̧̨̨̡̢̧̢̨̧̡̨̡̡̨̧̨̨̧̡̡̡̡̢̛̛̛̛̛̰͇̫͔̺͓͕̠̖̮̟̼̱͔̙̞̖̲̮̙̘͈͍͖̹͚̙̱̥̖̻͇̜̤̦̻̦͚̺̖͓͔͍̳̯̟͚̬̯̩̻̟̜͙̥͖̭͓͔͚̣͕̲̭̼̬̞̙̪̘̱͍͚͖̼̱͍͖͉̖̳̘̫͈͍̻͖̻͖̺̘̪̯̻̰͖̳̞͖̥̮̥̬̖̭͓̰̟̺̬̩̮͔̝͙̹̖̥͈̱͚̜̗̰̻̯͚̼̲̙̬̲̟͔͕̞͉̺̮͇̝̣͍̦̼͈̙͙̦̬̮̬͍̻͚̳̝͚̮͖͉̦͓̩̳͎͓̬̣̳̞̞͔͔̳̙͚̜̠͉͇̮̯̝͎̰̤̼̠͇̤̟̹̺͚̟̲͈̞̰͙̺͎̗̮̻͔̟̝̩͈̥̳͎̫̜̹͚̫̼̘̗̮̲͋̎̽̆͌̐̀̀͋̆̓͆̓́̾̇̄̎͊́̂̈́͛̂̅̿̎̓̎́̂̆͑͌̽̓̿͐͗̅̔̈́͛̾̈̊̆̎̓̌̓̈́̂͋̽͌̄͒̈́̊̓̂̎̎̈́͌̈́͆̿͋͑̑̈̇̔̈́͊̈́͗͋̈́͋̈̑̽͗̽̏͗̒͐̈́̇͛̈́̈́͂͒̈̄̅̅͌͋̃̊̾̍͆̉̽̽̐͂̈́̂͌͂̓̓̆͌͊͊́̀̋̓̓̋̓̾̒̒͑̈́̈́́͂̊͒̃́̋̎̌̾̆͂̓̓̆͐͒̓̄̾̀͋̿́̀̈́͊̎͆͊̉̒́̅̅̈́̈́̄͒̏͛̉̃̌̅͐̅̉̍̆̋́̂̎̀͊̄̓̈́͐̌̿̎̅̃͊͗̽̐̈́̀̃̑̇̾̕͘̚̚̕̚͘̕̕͘͘̚͘͘̚̚͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͠͝͠͠͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅ ̸̨̨̧̧̨̡̢̢̨̨̡̨̨̢̧̢̨̢̨̨̧̨̧̢̛̛̛̛̛̛̻̲̩̙̦̻̼͙̟̗̥̠͈̺̟̭̰͓͉̲̯͍̥̘͓͉̫͚͔͎̱̥̩͈̩̮̜̦̱̬͉̟̬̱̼̣̰͚̳̤̘͖̦̩̭͎̩̹͙̞̭̝̬͔͍̬͓̗̘͉̝̣͔̠̙͉͍̭̯̥̠̯̘̣̹̻̬̘̣̝̝̳͈̤͎̲͎̯̜͚̫͕͇̙̲̪͓̦̣̣̘͎͚̙͙̠̹̙̮̫̥̝̠̼̼̬͙̱̘̙͙͉̭̠̞̥̣̺̮̰̲̦̗̤̭̣̥̪͈̫̻̻̣̻̯͓͈̣̦͙̥̤̟̣͚̭͎̱̜̺̖̲͎̝̮͉̱̻̙͚͚̫͎̞͎͇͔̳̣̮̥͉̫̭̟̠͚̝̫͔̳̜̰͙̟̞͓͈̪̰̱̮̪̩̙̗̳̤͙̠͉̱̤̺̪̹̣͓̩̦͎̭̮͕̦͉̻͚̦͓̗̙͈̠̙̱̘̻͖̳̖̱̪̰̻͙̤̻̙͇̅̅̓͌͗̌̍̀͐͑̽̈́̇̑̾̊́̆̇͌̅̎̂̈̿̉͑̈́́̇̍̉͐͗̐͛̍̇̏̽͌̉̎͑́̈̇̔͋͑͗̀̉́͆̈͌̿͂̃̐̈́͋̇̿̏̋͒̈́́̌̍͐͋̓͐͑̈́̾̍̉̈̈́̀̈͐͋̎̓̋͗́̊́͊̿̀͋͂̓̀͆̀̑̏̏̆̅̉̏̈́̀̑̃̈́́̃̿̀̑͐̃̽̀̉̅͛͌̎̓̄̊̋͆̽̈́̀͆̃̓̈́̾̎̍̉̓̈́̈́́̉̋̓͋̄͐̒̋͋̀͑̓̄͂̍́͂̀̌́̇̽̋̎̈̒̈́̿͑͂̾͒̈͂͗͂́̓̀̓͆̃̊̇̊̎̽̓̌͊̈́͛̍̾̕͘̕͘̕̕̕͘̚̚̕̚̚̕͘͜͜͜͜͜͜͝͠͠͝͠͝͠͝͠͝͠͝ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅT̸̡̡̧̧̨̨̨̡̛̛̛̘͉͈̟̤̰̳̯͇̪̤͇̝̭̼̬͈̟̠͖̝̹̤͍̤̜̰͙̠̫̳̜̦̭͙͔̟̲̠̥̼̗̱̰̣̞̪͙̖̖̺̝̳̘̮̹͖̭̳̭̜̖̯̼̲̝̝̲̳̝̝̻̫͖̦̤͇̪͇̳͉̗͔͚̭̱̺̩̬̦̥̩͇͔͓̖̝͙̟̝̙͚͍͍͔͈͙͍̮̖̱̖̭͇͓̤̪̤͖̫̩̖̮͚̱̫̹͎̥̦͉̜͚̜̣̲̜̹̻̦̹͍̥̳̳̗̼̘͍̗̮̤̗͕̥̼̖̫̬̙͇̺͕̻͍̗͓̲͍͖̝̝̪̮̙̞̪͎̣̹͓̫̠̲͎͚͈̦̬̞͙̗̻͚̦͈̭̱̘͙̖̖̜͎͔͔̬̈́̍͂̑͌̍͂̆̆̀̆̈́̇̒͂̒́̋̋͋͒͌̄̈́̈̑͛͋̄̀́͊͐̐̀͊̿̓̐͛͑͗̌̄͑̊̍̃̅̋̿͑̉͒͒͗̃͑͆̌͗͗̈́͛̃͊͒̄̔́̓̊̎̌̌͐̊̑̽̉̍̃̋́͛̽͆̈́̅͛̈́̀̈́̀̊͊̿͊̀̓͌̑͑̾͊̀͐̑͆͑͌̔̌̂̒̍̆́̉͊̓͂̋̿̂̍̑̓̇̑̆̃̇̐͒̊̆͐̏̓̀͗́̆͒̌͒͋̓̇̇͆̈̒̍̄̀̑͐̈́̀̉̃̍̉̓̇̾̿̅͛̑̅͌̃̒̅̒͊̅͛̀͋̄̈́̎̂͛͂́͆̆̈́̃̏̕̚̚̚̕͘̕͘̕͘͘̕͜͝͝͝͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅ
D E A T H
[battle of Stalingrad]
GROWN UP MAN: {THAZ WAZ FO MA BABY BOY}
BABY BOY KILLER: Oh... Shit
GHOST FATHER: DO IT NOW! (Clench your asshole tight and yell from the bottom of your heart!)
░̫ͪ̃▒̆̿̀▓̛̻̞ͫ̐́█̟̥̳̖̥͌͋►͓̼̘̺̣̙͗̅͞ ̬̈́̄͒̀̑̚Ả̏͌͐͟ ͈͚͚̊ͯͦ̈̀̓͘A̸͈̺̗̯̺̾ͦͪ̊ ͚̮̩̬͎̲ͧ̿A̞̳͚̣̰̦ͫͤ̏ͣ̓ A̹͗ ̵̭͔̜̦̝̞A̸̝̥̫̬ͮ̊ͮ̌̔ ͇̙̰̯͍͚͑ͣ͡A͊҉ ̘̆̒A̝̟̰̐ͦ̅͛͌ ̼̊̓̕A̱̳̼̤͈̺̓ ̠̫̗̰̩̣̮̈ͨ̾͐Ả̰ͥͫ̌ ̫͚̥̤͇̙̊́̽̉͟A̮̹̘͓̣͈ͯ̌ͫ̚͠ ̬ͫͬ̑͑̎!͚̙̞̣̩̮͑ ̢̳̔̍̐̅͒̌!̶̟̦͕ͮ̆́̓ ̧̻̗͔̩͓̋̅͒͛ͥ̽̊!̫̲ͥ̽̿̾̿͢ ̰̺̭̲̎̒̿̃̚!̸̮ ҉̟̼̬̰ͅ!̷̱͇̳̫̜͔̎ͪ͛ ͆◄͉ͥͩͬͮ█̇̓͏▓̼̼▒̏҉͉░̱̠ͨͮ̎
GUY WHO F*CKED UP: OH (Crap
SHIT! (Crap Baskeeeeets!)
[and now, one of the best songs to ever exist]
PERFECTER CELL™: And now,
the end is near
And so I face
The final curtain
My friend,
I'll say it clear
I'll state my case,
of which I'm certain
I've lived
a life that's full
I traveled each
and every highway
But more,
much more than this,
I did it my way
Regrets,
I've had a few
But then again,
too few to mention
I did
[oh my there] what I had to do
and saw it through
without exemption
I planned
each charted course
each careful step
[legends say that the tile is still green to this day]
along the bi-way
And more
Much more than this
I did it my way
Yes, there were times
I'm sure you knew
When I bit off
more than I could chew
But through it all
when there was doubt
I ate it up
AND SPIT IT OUT
THE RECORD SHOWS
I TOOK THE BLOWS
AND
AND DID
AND DID IIIIT
MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
ayyyyyyyyyyyyy (fades out)
[The Perfect Sendoff to the Perfect Asshole. /(-_-\)]
[So is space if black, dark, and cold, does that mean space is really just Mr. Popo?]
[lol]
GOHAN: HORSE:
GOHAN: HORSE: EATEN
[ONCE TOLD ME] HORSE EATER: somebody
HORSE EATER: somebody catch
HORSE EATER: somebody catch me
HORSE EATER: somebody catch mee
HORSE EATER: somebody catch meee
HORSE EATER: somebody catch meeee
PICCOLO: He's... HORSE EATER: somebody catch meeeee
PICCOLO: He's... HORSE EATER: somebody catch meeeeee
PICCOLO: He's... dead... HORSE EATER: somebody catch meeeeeee
[nobody catches him] [press F to pay respects]
IRRESPONSIBLE: Cell is dead!
USELESS BICLOPS: Nobody's gonna hold it against me if I start crying, are they? [I will]
USELESS TRICLOPS: Better now than five minutes ago [gayyyyyyyyyyyyy]
KRILLIN: SO, BUDDY!
Ya beat your first bad guy! [what're you gonna do now?] [I'M GOING TO DISNEYWORLD oh wait it's flooded probably]
How's it feel?
[afterglow face]
...Gohan?
PURPLE HILLBILLY: If anybody's there,
my autonomic nervous system shut down all non-critical bodily functions. [NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD]
I cannot move,
I cannot move, hear,
I cannot move, hear, or see.
[but you can still talk somehow which probably counts as moving] I cannot move, hear, or see.
On a related note,
I really
I really, really
I really, really need to use the bathroom.
[and you can still somehow hold your piss in]
FINALLY USEFUL BICLOPS: Yeah let's get you to the lookout, little buddy
LITTLE BUDDY: Is that Tienshinhan?
You have very soft hands.
"TIEN": So, is there any food on the lookout? 'Cause I'm starving.
PTSD: FOURTH RULE OF POPO'S TRAINING:
"TIEN": Yeah, yeah, don't eat his stuff.
Hey, Piccolo!
We're gonna stop for snacks on the way!
HARDASS: Y'know, Vegeta,
I'm surprised you're not taking credit for the win.
VEGETA: I'M surprised you're not thanking me for saving your worthless lives.
UNSURPRISED: Heh.
Well don't worry.
We'll go revive "your baby boy"
THE TSUNDERE OF PARENTING: F[900Hz]kin' better. (THERE IT IS!)
AFRO HOGAN: We're-
W-we're alive!
After all that...
I need to rethink my life.
JAMES ROMANCANDLE: MISTER SATAN!
[jumpscared]
JIMOTHY CHERRYBOMB: MISTER SATAN!
WE FOUND SOME WORKING EQUIPMENT IN THE VAN!
WE'VE ONLY GOT AUDIO, BUT THE PEOPLE CAN HEAR YOU! {convenient}
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TELL THE WORLD WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
SEÑOR LUCIFER: I-I don't, um, I'm not really
JIMBO BOTTLEROCKET: Mister Satan.
Would you like to tell the world,
including
including your millions of scared
including your millions of scared, confused
including your millions of scared, confused, aND APPARENTLY RIOTING fans
WHAT
H A P P E N E D ?
MONSIEUR BEELZEBUB: Well,
Jimmy,
and all you at home,
I won't lie to you:
[incoming lie in 3]
Cell is dead. [incoming lie in 2]
Cell is dead. [incoming lie in 1]
Cell is dead. [incoming lie in 0]
And I AM THE ONE WHO
TOOK
H I M
D O W N
[no but like why do these people still buy his shit]
JIM PYROTECHNICS: Is there a body, Mister Satan?
MR. "HYPOCRITE" SATAN™: [oshit] NO!
ŊAH-I MEAN,
ŊAH-I MEAN, OF COURSE NOT!
HE EXPLODED WITHOUT A TRACE ON IMPACT, JIMMY.
THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED "MR. SATAN'S MEGATON PUNCH!™®©" (well, he's certainly right on Cell exploding without a trace)
BUT IF HE WEREN'T SUCH A CHUMP,
ID'VE GIVEN HIM A PUNCH FOR ALL MY WONDERFUL SATANISTS OUT THERE
MINDLESS CROWD: HAIL SATAN!
HAIL SATAN!
HAIL SATAN! FAT FANBOY: Whadda we do now?
MINDLESS CROWD: HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAT FANBOY: ...orgy?
MINDLESS CROWD: HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! FAT FANBOY: ORGY!
MINDLESS CROWD: HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! OFFSCREEN FANBOY: YEAH!
MINDLESS CROWD: HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! OFFSCREEN FANBOY: YEAH! F[900Hz] THIS CITY! (oh shut up Grant!)
SOME CAPTAIN GUY: Well, King Furry, it seems that we were victorious today.
KING FURRY: Boof. [You don't REALLY thik that HE did it, don't you?]
CAN SOMEHOW UNDERSTAND HIM: Yes, sir, I, too, believe it was the son of that...
"Goku" fellow.
Unfortunately...
the world may never know the truth.
KING OWO: Birff. [I need some fresh air]
WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING: We'll go for walkies later, sir.
The orgy has begun.
KING YIFF: [whines] (Bunch of idiots...)
LITTLE GREEN: Gohan!
What did you idiots do?!
IDIOT: Nothing! We just let him fight Cell.
SUPER KAMI PANICKING BOYFRIEND: ALONE?!
IDIOT: Well yeah, that's just
ᵏᶦᶰᵈᵃ ʰᵒʷ ʷᵉ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰᶦᶰᵍˢ
GAY GOD: Just give him to me, you mook! (his first day isn't up and he's already done with everybody.)
[as the healing is visibly working] I don't think the healing is working!
I need to give him mouth-to-mouth ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (or maybe get the first aid kit!)
NON-CONSENTING: edvuvuh?
[pronounce it correctly you fuck] Dende?
LITTLE GREEN BONER: Gohan!
Can you breathe?
[if it can breathe, it can succ] Can you breathe?
GOHAN: Better than usual, actually.
DISAPPOINTED: No, ok- okay.
[for real, what even is that third eye? it never blinks and it looks like a sticker] TRICLOPS: Hey... Sorry about your dad, kid.
{What if all along it was just a tattoo} TRICLOPS: Hey... Sorry about your dad, kid.
YAMCHA: Yeah, that's rough.
KID: You guys, it's fine!
He's dead! (And there's another red flag)
RED FLAG DETECTOR #3: There's a lot to unpack there.
PROUD BIG GREEN DAD: You did a good job out there, kid.
Without you, we'd all be dead.
SOUNDING LIKE HIS FATHER: Yup! (I think he's finally internalized that death is the same as being uncapacitated for a year at most in this universe)
PICCOLO: D-I,
PICCOLO: D-I, I just wanted you to know that. (b-baka!)
KID: I know.
RED FLAG DETECTOR #1: Nuh, d-okay.
Long as we're clear.
NOT INTERESTED IN FEMALES: Okay so why did you bring two dead chicks to my lookout?
SOMEHOW ALIVE AND NOT PARTIALLY DIGESTED: Huh?
THIRSTY HO: Good morning, sunshine!
[Kami/Dende's Lookout] DEAD CHICK #1: 1. Where am I?
[Gohan punched Cell (who puked you up) and then killed him] DEAD CHICK #1: 1. Where am I? 2. What happened?
[all over the place] DEAD CHICK #1: 1. Where am I? 2. What happened? 3. Where's Cell?
GOOGOLO: 1. On the Lookout
2. Gohan killed Cell
and...
GOOGOLO: 1. On the Lookout 2. Gohan killed Cell 3. Gohan killed Cell
ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS: 4. What's the Lookout?
BINGIN: 4. It's where God lives.
GOD: Whaddup.
PEOPLE BEING TOLD THE PLOT OF ANY ANIME: Okay wow
[accurate reaction to being told that 1. a god exists 2. said god is standing right over there 3. said god is a little green alien dude] PEOPLE BEING TOLD THE PLOT OF ANY ANIME: Okay wow you're throwing a lot at me here
AD THAT POPS UP IN THE SEARCH RESULTS: Also I'm in love with you.
USER WHO DIDN'T INSTALL UBLOCK ORIGIN: And that's my limit!
Thank you. Bye. [closes window]
THIRSTY AD COMPANY: NO-WAIT-
THIRSTY AD COMPANY: NO-WAIT-ŊO
E-I'm bad at this.
NOT INTERESTED(yet): We both are!
TRICLOPS: Suddenly, I'm elated that Trunks is dead.
REASONABLE REACTION: Dude!
TRICLOPS: What?
So he didn't have to see THAT.
SENSITIVE: Still, dude!
GREENBOI: Okay, Shenron,
wakey-wakey, eggs and
dead people. [you know, the usual!]
RAYQUAZA THE GENIE: I AM THE ETERNAL DRAGON.
STATE YOUR WISHES,
AND I
AND I SHALL
AND I SHALL GRANT THEM.
GOHAN: He seems
GOHAN: He seems...
less moody than usual.
GREENBOI: 'Sup, Shenron?
LESS MOODY: 'Sup,
LESS MOODY: 'Sup, Big Green? {Wait. He's alright with being called that?}
YAMCHA: Eternal Dragon!
Our first wish is to bring back everyone *on Earth* killed by Cell! [did you mean "Bring back to life everyone who was killed by Cell" or "Have Cell kill everyone on Earth and then bring them back here, having been killed by Cell"?]
BIG SNEK: A
BIG SNEK: A SIMPLE
BIG SNEK: A SIMPLE MATTER
[MUH] DEAD CHICK #2: I get it,
[MUH-HOGANY] DEAD CHICK #2: I get it, it's a beautiful desk!
Can I just go to heave-
Where am I?
DUCKDUCKGOHAN: You're on the lookout!
ON THE LOOKOUT: Oh, good.
Got my clothes back.
PUNY GOD: Alright, since you resurrected more than one person,
you only have one wish left.
[doesn't actively care if they make it count] Make it count.
TRICLOPS: Something doesn't seem right.
BICLOPS: Yeah, shouldn't Goku be back now?
BIG GREEN: You wanna tell them, or should I?
BIG B[blocked by YouTube guidelines]: Oh, please, I insist.
BIG GREEN: I WAS going to save this for AFTER Krillin died,
but since you apparently did the impossible...
You still can't bring back somebody who's already died before.
DIDN'T READ THE T&C: What?!
OWNED COUNTER GUY: HOOO bullet dodged!
LOREMASTER: Don't freak out. Porunga can still bring back people who've already died.
YAMCHA: Good thinking, Piccolo!
We'll just use the remaining wish to go to Namek!
GHOSTKU: You wanna tell 'em, or should I?
POLTERKAIST: Don't talk to me!
GHOST SON GOKU'S NOT-GHOST SON, GOHAN: Dad?
KRILLIN: Goku?
GHOSTKU: Hey, guys!
I'm in heaven, with King Kai!
POLTERKAIST: Yeah, thanks for specifying
POLTERKAIST: Yeah, thanks for specifying "on Earth"
POLTERKAIST: Yeah, thanks for specifying "on Earth", by the way
YAMCHA!
YOU ASSHOLE!
KRILLIN: Okay, Goku!
We're gonna go to Namek and wish you back, so just sit tight, buddy!
BUDDY: Yeah,
BUDDY: Yeah, about that...
NEGLECTED SON: (Oh, here it comes...)
BUDDY: I gave it some thought,
[did it hurt?] BUDDY: I gave it some thought,
BUDDY: I gave it some thought, and...
BUDDY: I gave it some thought, and... well...
BUDDY: Raditz and Vegeta [and also Nappa]
BUDDY: Raditz and Vegeta came to Earth because of me [and also Nappa]
BUDDY: Raditz and Vegeta came to Earth because of me, right? [but who really cares about Nappa]
BUDDY: And then Friezer came to Earth
BUDDY: And then Friezer came to Earth because of me,
BUDDY: and the androids were made
BUDDY: and the androids were made because of me...
It just feels like...
every time the earth's in danger,
I'm the common dominator.
And frankly,
And frankly, I'm tired of dominating.
( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) And frankly, I'm tired of dominating.
[Dende's inner voice: ( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o)] It's your turn to dominate, Gohan. (goku he's 11)
GOHAN: Everything you just said was technically correct.
(The best kind of correct)
GOKU: I'm just thinking, maybe it would be better
GOKU: if I just stayed dead. (feels like this is becoming a metaphor.)
FANS: But, you've been apart of our lives for so long..
FANS: It can't just end like this! Right?
TFS: I know it's hard guys, but I think it's for the best.
And this doesn't have to be goodbye forever!
Maybe one day
Maybe one day (when the time is right),
I'll come back to see you again.
But, it is goodbye!
But, it is goodbye! For now at least.
Gohan, I know I-
GOHAN: Dad
GOHAN: Dad, don't.
It's okay
Because you were right about one thing
I can take care of us.
Just...
Promise you'll call every once in a while
GOKU: Of course!
KAIPHONE X: I am NOT your cellphone!
GOKU: Oops! I gotta go here,
getting some interference.
GOKU: Take care, Gohan!
And say 'Hi' to your little brother for me
IGNORED CHILD: Wait- mon's pregnant!?
ABSENT PARENT OF 2: Bye, sons!
uh...
now?
Where's the off button
SAMSUNG KAILAXY: Get your hands off me!
GOKU: Boop! SAMSUNG KAILAXY: Aw! My off button!
(Hang up tone)
NEW HEAD OF THE FAMILY: See you later dad.
YAMCHA: So... If uh you guys don't have any wishes...
I've never really gotten the chance to-
SELFLESS MIDGET: Can you turn 17 and 18 back into normal humans?
TRUNKS: Wha?
NO RESPECT: Oh no. it's cool. Next time though? [He doesn't deserve it anyways]
ANDROID HATER: Oh, I get it. Turn them back into humans and make them weaker.
ANDROID LOVER: Wha- no!
Dr. Gero stole their lives away from them.
I just think they deserve a better life.
PROVISOS: That wish is beyond my power.
ANNOYED: 🅱ULLSHIT!
DRAGON WITH LIMITS: Look, I don't make the rules.
COMPLAINTS DEPARTMENT: Then who does?
MAKER OF RULES: Hi.
KNOWS HIS PLACE: Because they are incredibly fair and balanced. [Never argue with Popo]
YAMCHA: Honestly man,
I don't see the downside to being an anrdoid.
Y'know, except walking around with a nuke in your chest.
SECOND OPTION: Wait. Shenron!
Can you take the bombs out of them?
BOMB REMOVAL SERVICE: I can.
SATISFIED CUSTOMER: That please.
BIGGER GREEN: Your wishes have been granted.
Farewell!
BIGGER
GREEN
OUT!
{So now even he has a nickname...}
PRINCESS TRUNKS: For the record,
I agree with the results of your wish,
but NOT the motive.
MOTIVATED BY LOVE: I just...
wanna do the right thing. Okay?
GOHAN: I think it's sweet.
You're a good guy, Krillin.
GOOD GUY: Thanks. Too bad Android 18 will never know.
I wish I had one more chance to talk to her.
{Oh. well speak of Dabura} 18: Okay. What the hell was that?
SMITTEN: Thank you, Shenron.
BAFFLED BY SELFLESSNESS: You could have wish for a billion zeni,
or a nose. (120% reasonable but ain't gonna happen tho)
but instead you use a magical wish-granting dragon...
but instead you use a magical wish granting dragon... for us.
WOULD HAVE WISHED THEM DEAD: Asking the real questions here.
NOSELESS LOVESTRUCK MIDGET: It just...
made sense.
SECRETLY MOVED: Okay, look.
I've gotta go find my brother.
I can only imagine what's going through his head right now.
SURPRISED TO BE ALIVE: Uh?
I never did get that boat. {That's your concern?}
SISTER OF A BOAT LOVER: I actually bet it's inane.
but..
Let's talk later.
DESPERATE: Wait! Wait!
W-w-what's your number?
18: My name!
KRILLIN: heh...
Guess I flew into that one. {yes you did}
KNOWS NOTHING OF LOVE: I'm not sure what just happened.
KAMI: Krillin's got a girlfriend. NAIL: Krillin's got a girlfriend. {Krillin's got a girlfriend.}
DICKLESS: gross.
TRICLOPS: Well, I better get home.
I told Chiaotzu if I wasn't dead by the end of the day,
that we'd eat out.
YAMCHA: Ha!
Gay!
GAY: I'll miss you too, Yamcha.
GOHAN: Thank you for all your help, Mr. Tenshinhan.
MR. TENSHINHAN: You're the one who pick up our slack kid.
Now keep that bright head in the clouds,
and strong feet on the ground.
and Trunks.
PRINCESS TRUNKS: Huh?
Go reck their shit.
READY TO RECK SHIT: That's the idea.
KIKOGOING: Until we meet again.
Which will probably be when the world's in danger so just...
Keep a close eye on Vegeta {Hate boner is still strong in this one}
PRINCESS TRUNKS: Can any of you get a read on that guy?
GOHAN: Not even close.
KRILLIN: We should probably follow his lead.
Namek has shorter days than this has been. {wait... isn't it always day there?}
GOHAN: Are you going to stay here on the lookout, Mr. Piccolo?
PICCOLO: I mean,
That's up to Dende.
SUPER KAMI DENDE: Are you gonna visit us Gohan?
GOHAN: All the time! {Don't make promises you can't keep}
PLEASED GOD: Then yes. We have a room for you, Nail.
PICCOLO: I've never had a room before.
AMUSED GOD: That's depressing.
And hilarious.
MR. POPO: I call it 'Deprarious'!
PRINCESS TRUNKS: If you guys wouldn't mind,
I'd like if you could come by capsule corp tomorrow before I leave.
Before I met you guys...
Before I met you guys... All I had was stories.
Now that I've fought alongside you all, I'm...
I'm gonna miss you.
KRILLIN: Aw shuck, buddy! We're gonna-
GOHAN'S DISCIPLE: Specifically you, Gohan.
DENIED LOVE: Was that necessary?
GOHAN: We'll be there with bells on.
And I'll see you later, Dende.
EAGER GOD: Visit soon, Gohan. We'll have a slumber party.
We can play spin the bottle.
Heheh. 1v1 me, bro!
NEW LEADER: Alright then, guys! Ready?
Let's go home!
YAJIROBE: Hey!
GOHAN: Good job, everybody!
See you at Capsule Corp!
PRINCESS TRUNKS: No, sorry.
There's only room in the time machine for one person. {You might want to install extra seats in the future}
DESPERATE FOR LOVE: Can't you like...
Put me in a capsule? {Can you even put living thing in capsules?}
HONEST QUESTION: Why would you want to ggo back to me post-apocolyptic future?
YAMCHA:(Must think of a good lie)
READER OF POKER FACE: Is it because my mom is single?
QUICK TO BAIL: Oh hey! My apartment's this way.
QUICK TO BAIL: Oh hey! My apartment's this way. Later, Trunks! {I'd say Trunks was right on the money}
{oh boy... somebody's upset...}
WIDOW: Your father would rather be dead than live with his wife and children.
NEW HEAD OF THE FAMILY: Mom, no.
Dad might be...
well, IS one of the
well, IS one of the dumbest,
well, IS one of the dumbest, most selfish
well, IS one of the dumbest, most selfish, most irresponsible people we know...
But,
before he died...
before he died... he mentioned us.
ALL of us.
BIG GRANDDAD: Even me?
GOHAN: Granddad? Srsly?
Could you not?
Right now?
WIDOW:My...
WIDOW: My... My Goku. {Aw... She does care}
DEAD GOD: You're sure about this, Goku?
DEAD DAD: 'Bout as sure as I can be.
DEAD GOD: Most men would die all over again just to get back what you had.
a loving wife,
a loving wife, two sons,
UNEARTHLY powers... {Doesn't he still have that even in death?}
OPTIMIST: Yeah, but those aren't going anywhere.
and if they do...
and if they do... It'll prolly just be back to me.
it's a win-win.
KING KAI: You're a strange creature, Goku.
STRANGE CREATURE: I'm just...
Not afraid of change I guess.
I've never been.
When it comes down to it...
I know they're gonna be alright.
Because if I've learned anything since landing of Earth....
WISE KAI: Big IF there.
MORON WHO LEARNED SOMETHING: It's that everyone is strong than they think they are.
PRINCE GEETS: Love ya, Boi. MORON WHO LEARNED SOMETHING: It's that everyone is strong than they think they are.
PRINCESS TRUNKS: Love ya too, Pops.
MORON WHO LEARNED SOMETHING: I've left behind the BEST people in the world.
PRINCE GEETS: Proud of ya. MORON WHO LEARNED SOMETHING: I've left behind the BEST people in the world.
And I'm happy about that.
Things changed,
MORON WHO LEARNED SOMETHING: and the're gonna keep changing.
BACK TO THE FUTURE: Bye, everyone! MORON WHO LEARNED SOMETHING: and the're gonna keep changing.
BACK TO THE FUTURE: I'll never forget you! MORON WHO LEARNED SOMETHING: There ain't no stopping that.
MOTHER OF A TIME TRAVELLER: See you in 17 years sweetie! (or sooner) MORON WHO LEARNED SOMETHING: The most important part...
MORON WHO LEARNED SOMETHING: Now,
MORON WHO LEARNED SOMETHING: Now, they can live their own lives.
and make their own futures.
And I can't wait to see the kind of future they make.
CONFUSED: What?
{I can't believe that's it!}
{After all that...}
{We had a wonderful trip this season.}
KRILLIN: I'm surprised you'd knew I'd be here.
18: Seemed like the obvious pick.
KRILLIN: True...
so... um...
What can I do ya for?
SEX MODE ACTIVATED: I made a promise to myself, and I'm here to keep it.
DOESN'T GET THE HINT: You wanna see a movie or-
READY TO ROCK: Dude!
READY TO ROCK: Dude! Drop your pants.
SURPRISED BY REQUEST: Oh.
O-okay, but umm...
Just a heads up. I'm a grower.
o_o
O_O
SHOCKED BY SIZE: OH
MY
GOD!
WORRIED: What?
DETERMINED: Get on the bed!
GETTING LAID TONIGHT: YES MA'AM!
*gnid*
{Wow. They've been at it for a while...}
CLIMAX: SCATTER
CLIMAX: SCATTER BULLET!
SCORE 39 FOR THE KRILL DOG!!!
HAHA!
ROCKED OUT: Uh... wow.
{OMG! The abridged adventures are gonna continue!}
{We'll see ya'll in the next season!}
{And Bojack Abridged}
{And the epilogue}
{and the other world tournament}
{Oh yeah. Also, DBZ Kai Abridged episode 3}