1
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YAMI: Twas the week before Christmas, and upon the earth,
Gohan and Krillin were searching for a tree of great worth.

2
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They longed for a tree, both tall and rare,
and for some unknown reason, Oolong was there.

3
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And with eyes full of wonder, and faces all grins,
this, my dear viewer, is where our story begins...

4
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KRILLIN [off-screen]: Alright guys, sleep well. We have an early morning tomorrow to search for our perfect Christmas Tree. (Why were they camping)

5
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BULMA [o-s]: Hey, did anyone take care of that fire? (why were u here)

6
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KRILLIN [o-s]: Oolong, you got that?

7
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OOLONG [o-s]: I'm watching it...

8
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(Burn down the whole forest)

9
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[Sounds of forest fire and frightened animals]

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KRILLIN: I thought you said you were watching the fire!
[Our Heroes.]

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ARSONIST: I *was*! It was beautiful! (please just make pork chops out of him)

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GOHAN: Poor animals! Their Christmas is ruined now!

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KRILLIN: Yeah! And now we don't have our tree! (Wow Krillin)

14
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GOHAN: I wish there was something we could do for them...

15
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[Lightbulb sound effect]
KRILLIN: "Wish"?

16
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I got it! We could use the Dragon Balls!

17
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♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫ (sped up) (one adventure later)

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KRILLIN: We got the Dragon Balls!

19
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[Shenron is summoned]
GOHAN: Amazing how much easier this became with time...
[Wait til GT.]

20
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SHENRON: I am the Eternal Dragon!
State your-

21
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...

22
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...no.

23
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...no. No way.

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...no. No way. No, not you again.

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...no. No way. No, not you again.
Has it even been a year!?

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OOLONG: It's been one year, two months and fifteen-

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SHENRON [o-s]: Shut the hell up!

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KRILLIN: Almighty Shenron!

29
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We called you forth to help us in this dire time!
As you can see, this beautiful land full of trees and life has been burned to the ground!

30
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SHENRON: So you want me to restore life to this desolated forest?

31
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SELFISH PRICK: Hell no! I wanna Christmas Tree!

32
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SHENRON [incredulous]: ...you want...a tree?

33
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KRILLIN: Not just any tree.
The *perfect* Christmas Tree!

34
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SHENRON: ...yeah...yeah, OK. I'll give you your tree.
I'll give you the best damn tree you've ever seeen!
[This shit is why the Shadow Dragons became a thing.]

35
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Muhahahahahaha! Rahahahahahahahahahaa!
[He is Popo's servant]

36
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OBLIVIOUS SELFISH PRICK: Thank you!

37
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SHENRON CLAUS: Oh, don't thank me. 'Tis the season of giving...

38
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SLAY: Turles, sir, our navigation system just changed course.
We're on route to a new planet - Earth.

39
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NOT GOKU BLACK: Does it contain a sufficient amount of joy?

40
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SLAY: According to our sensors, yes.

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NOT GOKU BLACK: Well then...

42
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[♫ "Jingle Bell Rock" ♫]
HOLY SHIT, IT'S GOKU'S EVIL 'TWIN': ...Merry Christmas.

43
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[♫ "Rock The Dragon" ♫]
[CHRISTMAS GOT FUCKING METAL.]

44
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[CHRISTMAS GOT FUCKING METAL.]

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CHI-CHI [o-s]: You are not allowed to go camping again, young man.

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GOKU [quietly]: [♫ "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" ♫]
CHI-CHI [o-s]: You are not allowed to go camping again, young man.

47
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GOKU [quietly]: [♫ "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" ♫]
GOHAN: But Mom, Oolong's the one who burned down the forest, not me! (Just say you are in anexpedition)

48
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GOKU [quietly]: [♫ "The Twelve Days of Christmas" ♫]
CHI-CHI: I don't care whose fault it is, you need to be responsible. (Was that for Gohan or Goku?)

49
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GOKU [quietly]: [♫ "Jingle Bells" ♫]
CHI-CHI: Remember, if you don't act like a good little boy, Santa won't bring you any presents this year. (please, he *is* the nice one in this family)

50
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Goku, stop that or I will deck you in the halls!

51
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GOKU: OK!

52
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GOHAN: He's just gonna bring me books again... (sucks 4 u)

53
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CHI-CHI: He brings you what you like, and what do you like!?

54
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GOHAN [panicked]: I like books!

55
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CHI-CHI: See? He brings you what you like. (No, what he wants is u dead)

56
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GOKU: Well, what am I getting for Christmas? (If it's what you like, probably food)

57
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CHI-CHI: The same thing as last year, Goku.

58
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GOKU: Ohhh, so that thing you do with your mou- (lucky)

59
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CHI-CHI: Not in front of Gohan!

60
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PUAR: Yamcha, why did you spend all your baseball money on this car instead of buying Christmas gifts for your friends? (Cause he wants to believe that he's worth something)

61
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YAMCHA: Puar, the only gift they need is the gift of Yamcha. (Non-refundable)

62
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PUAR: ...that's a non-refundable gift, isn't it? (wow, you're own cat doesn't like you)

63
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YAMCHA: Just like this car.

64
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{BOOM}

65
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[Puar and Yamcha scream]
(Team Rocket blasting off again)

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SLAY: It is time.
Plant...the tree.

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[Silence]

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Of might.

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[More silence]

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The Christmas Tree of Might.

71
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BERU: Oh~
JINGA: Oh~

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Title drop!

73
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SLAY: Now...let the Yuletide celebrations...

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[♫ "Deck the Halls Metal Style!" ♫]
SLAY: Now....let the Yuletide celebrations...begin.

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♫ Deck the halls with sounds of metal ♫

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♫ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♫

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♫ Tis the season to be brutal ♫

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♫ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♫

79
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BOY: Mommy-?

80
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(VEGETA: HA!)

81
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YAMCHA: So yeah, um, I'm gonna have to crash with you guys for a while.

82
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GOKU: Ha, ha! "Crash", like your car.

83
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UNLUCKY GUY: Yes, Goku...like my car.

84
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MASTER ROSHI: I can't believe the wreckage landed on your house.

85
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REALLY UNLUCKY GUY: Neither can I. And since I put all my money into the car, I'm pretty much destitute.

86
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GOHAN: You know, studies say that depression hits worst during the holiday season. That's why the suicide rates are so high.

87
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[Ain't karma a bitch?!]

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[All but Yamcha & Bulma laugh at Yamcha's expense XD]

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GOKU: Like your car.

90
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KING KAI [from Kaiōkai]: Hey, are we laughing at Yamcha? 'Cause I'm always up for that.

91
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GOKU: King Kai, is that you?

92
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KING KAI: I just wanted to call you up and wish you a Merry Christmas.

93
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GOKU: Aw shucks, King Kai.
You too.

94
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KING KAI: Yeah. Also thought I'd tell you about the evil space pirates who are killing your planet.
(Bojack's here?)

95
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GOKU: Space in the what now?

96
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KING KAI: You see, a group of space pirates have sought out your planet.
And with it, are growing an evil, evil tree.

97
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GOKU: How evil?

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KING KAI: It's literally sucking the Christmas joy out of the entire planet.

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GOKU: (Gasp)...

100
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GOKU: (Gasp)...that's Disney evil!

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KING KAI: Well, that’s all from here. I'm gonna go spike the eggnog and watch Gregory get smashed. Merry Christmas!
[HAH! Smashed. Get it?]

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GOKU: Alright guys, group meeting.
So, it turns out someone just planted a gigantic tree...

103
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KRILLIN: Hooray! My tree!

104
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GOKU: ...that is sucking the Christmas joy out of the entire world!

105
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KRILLIN: I mean oh, no! Who would be so dastardly?

106
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GOKU: So, my plan is we get the Dragon Balls and wish it away!
[This is a surprisingly good idea for Goku...]

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KRILLIN: Uuuummmm...

108
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GOKU: I'm kiddin'. We're gonna go blow it up!
[Nevermind.]

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Didn't work.
[Of course.]

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TIEN: Damn. If we don't act soon, Christmas is going to be ruined forever.

111
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KRILLIN: Wait a minute - Tien, Chiaotzu, what are you two doing here? Aren't you Jewish? (so that's why he wore that hat in DB)

112
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Jewish Triclops: Hey! I'm just trying to be culturally sensitive.

113
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TIEN: Hey! I'm just trying to be culturally sensitive...you Buddhist ass!

114
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BUDDHIST ASS: Well, happy holidays to you too.

115
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GOKU: I think the only course of action left...is to reason with it.
[...he's getting worse, guys.]

116
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YAMCHA: Uh, Goku-?

117
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[Only Goku...]
GOKU: Big tree! If you don’t leave right now, I'm gonna have to beat you up!

118
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YAMCHA: Goku, trees can't tal-

119
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TREE [o-s]: Why don't you come up here and try it?

120
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YAMCHA: Know what? F**k it, I don't care anymore.

121
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[Evil chuckling]

122
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KRILLIN: Who the hell are these guys?

123
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SLAY: We are from the planet of Misfit Minions.

124
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REESE: Where all banished servants of Santa Claus are sent.

125
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BERU: We were all lost, hope forsaken.

126
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JINGA: But now Turles has given us a new chance at life.

127
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BERU: And at revenge!
JINGA: And at revenge!

128
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KRILLIN: But why were you banished in the first place?

129
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SLAY: Some of us did things...

130
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SLAY: Some of us did things...terrible things
(Can't be worse than Vegeta)

131
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REESE: Things that some of us regret, and some of us don't.

132
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SLAY: Take me for example:
I was but a humble mall Santa trying to bring children joy.

133
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TIEN: So what happened?

134
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SLAY: Well, a young child asked me for a fire truck.

135
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GOKU: Awww!

136
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SLAY: So I dropped one on his house.

137
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GOKU: Awww.

138
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JINGA: Then there was my brother and I.

139
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BERU: We were once elves working at Santa's workshop.
[THAT'S what elves look like!?]

140
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JINGA: Until a robot we made to aid production went out on a murderous rampage.

141
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S.N.O.W.: Fa la la la la, la la, la-

142
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DIE.

143
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KRILLIN: Yiiikes.
Wait a minute, that doesn't cover you - what'd *you* do?

144
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:13,260
REESE: Something so evil, I am forever on Santa’s naughty list.

145
00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:15,880
YAMCHA: Geez, compared to these guys, what could you have possibly-

146
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:17,020
REESE: I raped Rudolph.
(Dark)

147
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[Sounds of Reese laughing along with a reindeer's (obviously Rudolph's) pained cries are heard] (oh poor Rudolph)

148
00:07:23,460 --> 00:07:25,340
TIEN: Dibs on not fighting that guy.
[Good call.]

149
00:07:25,340 --> 00:07:28,260
GOKU: We have to save Christmas, guys! Let's go!

150
00:07:30,340 --> 00:07:31,060
JINGA: Jinga!

151
00:07:31,060 --> 00:07:31,800
BERU: Beru!

152
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JINGA: The great Jinga Beru Brothers!
BERU: The great Jinga Beru Brothers!

153
00:07:34,180 --> 00:07:35,940
TIEN: You mean Jingle Bell, right?

154
00:07:35,940 --> 00:07:37,020
JINGA: No, Jinga...

155
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BERU: ...and Beru!

156
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,840
TIEN: Noooo...

157
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,520
TIEN: Noooo...Jingle...

158
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:42,200
TIEN: Noooo...Jingle...Bell.

159
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JINGA: Jinga!

160
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:43,500
BERU: Beru!

161
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:44,100
TIEN: F**KING WEEABOOS!

162
00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:45,680
[Pity there's no visually repulsive frame to go with it this time...]
TIEN: F**KING WEEABOOS! (Why was that upsetting u?)

163
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:56,260
SLAY: Y'know, you look like one of the kids I let sit on my lap once.
'Course, he was the cancer patient; asked me if I could get rid of his cancer.

164
00:07:56,260 --> 00:07:58,700
KRILLIN: Oh God, this is going exactly where I think this is, isn't it?

165
00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:00,840
SLAY: So I blew him up! No more cancer!

166
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:05,660
KRILLIN: God, you are one of the worst mall Santas ever!
Right behind those ones that molest kids.

167
00:08:06,180 --> 00:08:07,980
WORST MALL SANTA EVER: ...so I'm the worst mall Santa.

168
00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:09,100
KRILLIN [incredulous]: Oh, come on!

169
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:14,380
S.N.O.W.: Singing "Yamcha the Scar-Faced Bandit"
[But do you recall...]

170
00:08:14,380 --> 00:08:16,380
YAMCHA: Go to hell!
[The most useless...]

171
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Oh.
[The most useless fighter]

172
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:17,780
Oh. Come.
[The most useless fighter of all...]

173
00:08:17,780 --> 00:08:19,020
Oh. Come. On.
[The most useless fighter of alllllll...]

174
00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:19,580
Oh. Come. On. Come.

175
00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:20,080
Oh. Come. On. Come. On.
[Yamcha]

176
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Oh. Come. On. Come. On. Damn.
[Yamcha the scar-]

177
00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:21,080
Oh. Come. On. Come. On. Damn. You.
[Yamcha the scar-faced]

178
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,060
S.N.O.W.: Do you require assistance?
[Yamcha the scar-faced bandit!]

179
00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:23,660
YAMCHA: Shut.
[Always]

180
00:08:23,660 --> 00:08:24,160
YAMCHA: Shut. Up.
[Always beaten by]

181
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:24,880
YAMCHA: Shut. Up. You.
[Always beaten by his]

182
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YAMCHA: Shut. Up. You. Cowardly.
[Always beaten by his foes!]

183
00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:26,280
YAMCHA: Shut. Up. You. Cowardly. God.

184
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,140
[Wait, did Yamcha just win a proper bat-]
YES! Take that, motherfu-

185
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♪ And if you saw this guy fight ♪

186
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♪ You would even say he blows ♪

187
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[Normal service has resumed. :P]
S.N.O.W.: Agreed. (Everyone: Agreed)

188
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JINGA: I'll make you pay, like the rest of them!

189
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Jewish Pokemon: I told u i'm not an elf, I'm just really short!
[I thought he was a Pokemon?]

190
00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:41,880
JINGA: Shut up, Claus lover!

191
00:08:42,420 --> 00:08:43,680
Jewish Pokemon: I don’t even celebrate Christmas-

192
00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:44,700
Jewish Pokemon: I don’t even celebrate Christmas-oh, my God!

193
00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:46,240
JINGA: What the-

194
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JINGA: What the FUUUUUUUUUUU...!
[The power of the headbutt.]

195
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,280
GOHAN: Did I just smash the Krampus?
[No, that comes later.]

196
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:56,720
Oh well, where are the others? If I don't find them soon, it's gonna be too late to go caroling!

197
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:57,520
Oh!

198
00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:01,920
Hey Dad, what's with the getup?
It's not Halloween, it's Christmas!

199
00:09:02,060 --> 00:09:03,960
GOKU(?): Christmas?

200
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,260
NOPE, DEFINITELY NOT GOKU: I HATE Christmas!

201
00:09:06,260 --> 00:09:07,300
GOHAN: You're not my Dad!

202
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:10,140
NOT GOKU BLACK: I hate gingerbread houses.

203
00:09:10,140 --> 00:09:12,320
I hate presents and toys.

204
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,740
I hate reindeer and all of the good girls and boys. (Anyone else hearing some Dr. Seuss)

205
00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:19,360
I hate the Whos down in Whoville and all of their songs. (Now he's the Grinch)

206
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:23,460
I hate their whumpets and blumpets and goobag-for-brawns.

207
00:09:23,460 --> 00:09:27,760
I hate carols and sleigh rides and falalalalas.

208
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,880
But above all things else...

209
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,880
But above all things else...I hate Santa Claus!

210
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:33,620
GOHAN: Don't talk s**t about Santa! (You will in a few years)

211
00:09:33,620 --> 00:09:39,360
Saiyan Grinch: You're Saiyan, aren’t you?
How lucky you were...to never suffer my injustice!

212
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:39,860
{CRUNCH}
Saiyan Grinch: You're Saiyan, aren’t you?
How lucky you were...to never suffer my injustice!

213
00:09:39,860 --> 00:09:40,920
[Gohan groans in pain]

214
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:47,880
However, after my tree is done with this planet, you'll be left with Noël to speak of!
(IT'S A PUN)

215
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:49,240
[Evil chuckling]
[Scouter beeps]

216
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,560
What? Who's there?

217
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:52,140
PICCOLO: Bitch, you look like Goku.
[Gohan's dad to the rescue! Wait...]

218
00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:53,800
NOT GOKU BLACK: And you look like a Yoshi.

219
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,000
NOT YOSHI: I get that. Now hand over the kid.

220
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,460
NOT GOKU BLACK: Oh, you want this kid?

221
00:09:57,460 --> 00:09:58,260
PICCOLO: I want him.

222
00:09:58,260 --> 00:09:59,200
NOT GOKU BLACK: You want this kid?

223
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,020
PICCOLO: I want him.

224
00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:00,840
NOT GOKU BLACK: You want this kid?

225
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:01,580
PICCOLO: I want him.

226
00:10:01,580 --> 00:10:02,320
NOT GOKU BLACK: You want, you want?

227
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:03,420
PICCOLO: I WANT THAT KID!

228
00:10:04,380 --> 00:10:05,400
GOHAN: Hi, Mr. Piccolo!

229
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:06,500
PICCOLO: Merry Christmas.
[What exactly do the Namekians celebrate? The anniversary of the end of the drought?]

230
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,500
UUGHHUUGHHUUGHH!

231
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,180
GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo...

232
00:10:10,180 --> 00:10:10,680
GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo...ugh!

233
00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:15,220
NOT GOKU BLACK: Yeah, you're gonna stay right there.
Now how 'bout I show you a little trick I learned?

234
00:10:15,220 --> 00:10:17,360
If I put pressure down on this part of your back...

235
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:17,860
GOHAN: UGH!

236
00:10:17,860 --> 00:10:18,580
{SNAP}

237
00:10:18,580 --> 00:10:20,080
NOT GOKU BLACK: ...your tail grows back!

238
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:20,780
GOHAN: And...?

239
00:10:20,780 --> 00:10:21,280
NOT GOKU BLACK: Look!

240
00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:22,720
GOHAN: AGH!

241
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,580
It's the Star of Bethlehem. You know what that means?

242
00:10:27,580 --> 00:10:29,000
GOHAN: Jesus is born?

243
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,520
NOT GOKU BLACK: Yeah, only instead of Jesus...

244
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:32,720
NOT GOKU BLACK: Yeah, only instead of Jesus...it's a giant monkey.

245
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:34,280
GOHAN: I don't see the paral-

246
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,280
GIANT MONKEY: (Roaring)

247
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:37,080
GOKU: Gohan!

248
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:43,000
Aw man...if Chi-Chi finds out about this, I might not get mouth present.
[Now this is a man with his priorities straight...I think.] (hah, he really wants to get blown)

249
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,880
NOT GOKU BLACK: Now, what will you do?

250
00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:48,820
Son against father; father against son! In a battle to the death!

251
00:10:48,820 --> 00:10:49,320
Son against father; father against son! In a battle to the death!
GOKU: HAH!

252
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,320
[Pity the friggin' toupee stand ain't there to take lessons on Kienzan use...] {Also, Goku stealing techniques, again}

253
00:10:52,540 --> 00:10:53,700
NOT GOKU BLACK: ...well played.

254
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:09,200
GOKU: It's OK, Gohan. You're safe.
Now go to sleep, and in the morning, Santa will have brought all of your presents.

255
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,520
And by presents, I mean books.

256
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,740
GOHAN: D...dang it...uhh...

257
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:19,920
TURLES: Savor this moment, Kakarrot. It will be the last one you ever have with your son!

258
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:23,880
GOKU: (Gasp)...he knows my Saiyan name!
[To Turles] So you...

259
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,240
GOKU: (Gasp)...he knows my Saiyan name!
[To Turles] So you...must be Vegeta!

260
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:26,160
TURLES [confused]: Wait, you think I'm-

261
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:31,820
GOKU: Silly Vegeta! It's not Halloween, it's Christmas!
Take that costume off.

262
00:11:31,820 --> 00:11:37,640
TURLES: I'm not Vegeta. I'm just another Saiyan who escaped the destruction of our planet.

263
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:46,740
GOKU: Ohhhhh. 'Man, that means he's like...an evil me! Only he doesn't have a goatee. I'm gonna imagine one!'
[And you'll end up meeting a new and better one later. With pink hair.]

264
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:49,820
Ssso evil!

265
00:11:49,820 --> 00:11:51,140
[Growling]

266
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:52,680
[Dramatic sting]

267
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:55,000
GOKU: Now it's just down to you and me!

268
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,420
TURLES: Yes. Me and you.

269
00:11:57,660 --> 00:11:59,340
Oh, and my five Misfit Minions.

270
00:11:59,340 --> 00:12:01,040
GOKU: But, what about my friends?

271
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:03,580
SLAY: We all had eggnog and Christmas fudge!

272
00:12:03,580 --> 00:12:04,280
GOKU: Really?!

273
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,240
REESE: Nope! Wasted them like figgy pudding.

274
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,120
GOKU [furious]: You never waste figgy pudding!
[I've never even had figgy pudding.]

275
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:08,840
KRAMPUS: UGH!
REINDEER FUCKER: UGH!

276
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,120
ANOTHER KRAMPUS: UGH!
KILLER DROID: Droid.

277
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:10,660
BAD SANTA: UGH!

278
00:12:10,660 --> 00:12:12,480
[Idiot Hero does what he does best.]

279
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,380
GOKU: ...did I just smash the Krampus?
[Like Son, like son, eh?]

280
00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:18,960
TURLES: This has gone on long enough!
You don't even understand why I'm here, do you?

281
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:24,440
GOKU: All I heard was:
"Look at me! I hate Christmas, because I'm a big jerk!"

282
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:28,040
TURLES: And who *wouldn't* be a big jerk after the injustices I suffered?!

283
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:32,540
On Planet Vegeta, we heard all about all the other planets that Santa would visit,

284
00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:34,640
On Planet Vegeta, we heard all about all the other planets that Santa would visit, we'd heard of the joy he brought children,

285
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:35,660
On Planet Vegeta, we heard all about all the other planets that Santa would visit, we'd heard of the joy he brought children, of the presents,

286
00:12:35,660 --> 00:12:37,100
On Planet Vegeta, we heard all about all the other planets that Santa would visit, we'd heard of the joy he brought children, of the presents, of the merriment

287
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:38,680
THAT I WAS DENIED!

288
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:41,020
Planet Vegeta never got Christmas...

289
00:12:41,020 --> 00:12:43,400
Planet Vegeta never got Christmas...no, all we got was Freeza Day!

290
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:44,980
GOKU: Well, what d'ya get for Freeza Day?

291
00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:46,540
TURLES: He blew our PLANET UP!

292
00:12:46,540 --> 00:12:47,880
GOKU: That's sad...

293
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:50,520
GOKU: That's sad...but I still can't let you steal the joy from Earth!

294
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,760
TURLES: Hold that thought; tree's done.

295
00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:53,840
GOKU: What?

296
00:12:53,840 --> 00:13:00,200
TURLES: See, these fruit hold all the joy from Earth.
When I eat it, I will gain Earth's joy!

297
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,640
GOKU: Why are you so evil?!

298
00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:03,600
TURLES: Deal with it.

299
00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:09,900
TOTALLY NOT YAMI: Turles ate of the fruit, and so they say,
his power level grew three sizes that day.

300
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:12,160
GOKU: 'That's not good...!'

301
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,160
[Goku groans as Turles pummels him]

302
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,320
TURLES: Now, denounce your faith!

303
00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:21,880
GOKU: N...no!

304
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:23,900
TURLES: Denounce your faith in Santa Claus!

305
00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:24,980
GOKU: NEVER!

306
00:13:25,140 --> 00:13:28,200
TURLES: Well, then...Bah Humbug.

307
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,920
[Goku screams as Turles fires ki attacks at him]

308
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:38,060
TURLES: Well, now that that's over, time to plan a bitchin' New Year's party!

309
00:13:38,460 --> 00:13:40,860
GOKU: Ugh...ahh...uhh...

310
00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:45,340
'Nooo...Christmas...can't be ruined...!'

311
00:13:45,340 --> 00:13:49,060
Must...summon up...energy...!

312
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:55,940
???: Goku, it is I, the anointed saint. The spreader of love and peace.

313
00:13:55,940 --> 00:13:58,080
GOKU: 'Oh, wow! It's...!'

314
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:01,360
???: Yes, it is I...Santa.

315
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:02,520
[Gasp]

316
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:07,480
SANTA: You must defeat him, Goku; you are the only one who can.

317
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:12,200
GOKU: 'But, he's got all of Earth's joy. He's too powerful.'

318
00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:16,860
SANTA: No, Goku. The joy is within your heart.

319
00:14:16,860 --> 00:14:20,080
GOKU: (Inhales)...you're right!

320
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:23,160
SANTA: Now kick his ass to the North Pole and back!

321
00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:25,060
GOKU: Yes...Santa!

322
00:14:25,060 --> 00:14:25,560
[Scouter beeps repeatedly]

323
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,440
[Scouter beeps repeatedly]
TURLES: What the hell? What is this sudden burst of joy?!

324
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:30,960
GOKU: This is Christmas, melon farmer!

325
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:35,820
[Goku hurls Spirit Bomb; Turles screams, Spirit Bomb saves the day]

326
00:14:35,820 --> 00:14:37,120
TURLES: NO...

327
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,020
TURLES: NO...SO...

328
00:14:38,020 --> 00:14:39,180
TURLES: NO...SO...MUCH...

329
00:14:39,180 --> 00:14:40,220
TURLES: NO...SO...MUCH...JOY!

330
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:46,400
[And he screams some more...]

331
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,760
[Sounds of explosions]

332
00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:55,700
[♫ "Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!" ♫]

333
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:57,620
MAN [o-s]: Look! It's snowing!

334
00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:00,060
WOMAN: But...it's yellow...!
[That's probably 'cos Turles pissed himself...]

335
00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:03,520
♫ Oh, the weather outside is frightful ♫

336
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:07,060
♫ But the fire is so delightful ♫

337
00:15:07,060 --> 00:15:10,540
♫ And since we've no place to go ♫

338
00:15:10,540 --> 00:15:13,760
♫ Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow ♫

339
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:18,940
GOKU: 'It's too bad that Turles was such a Scrooge;
we would have happily shared our Christmas with him.'

340
00:15:18,940 --> 00:15:27,780
SANTA: You know...the sad part is, I always tried to visit Planet Vegeta.
Problem was, they kept trying to shoot down my sleigh.

341
00:15:27,780 --> 00:15:28,540
GOKU: 'Bummer.'

342
00:15:28,540 --> 00:15:34,820
SANTA: Now, I'm off to deliver my presents.
But thank you...for saving Christmas!

343
00:15:34,820 --> 00:15:37,260
GOKU: Anytime, Santa. Bye~!

344
00:15:37,260 --> 00:15:45,500
SANTA: Ho, ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Hoooo, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, hooo...!

345
00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:50,060
GOKU: 'Wait a second...if that guy wasn't Vegeta...'

346
00:15:50,060 --> 00:15:51,460
'...where is Vegeta?'

347
00:15:51,460 --> 00:15:53,680
[That planet seems awfully familiar...]

348
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:57,960
VEGETA: This is so non-canon, it hurts.
[You could've made your wish while they were gone.]

349
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:06,220
GHOST NAPPA: Vegeta~...tonight you will be haunted by three ghoooosts!

350
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:07,480
And they're all me.

351
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,120
GHOST OF NAPPA PAST: Hi!
GHOST OF NAPPA PRESENT: Hi!
GHOST OF NAPPA FUTURE: Hi!

352
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:09,740
[LOL]

353
00:16:09,740 --> 00:16:11,740
VEGETA: God damn it, I hate Christmas.

354
00:16:11,740 --> 00:16:13,740
[♫ "A Holly Jolly Christmas" ♫]

355
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,540
[No wonder he has a heart attack.]

356
00:16:23,540 --> 00:16:26,040
[Lewd.]

357
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:30,540
[Too bad it never works.]

358
00:16:30,540 --> 00:16:32,540
[Ew.]

359
00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:36,040
[Of course he did.]

360
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,440
[That's neat.]

361
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,440
[Well...shit.]

362
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,140
[Why?]

363
00:16:44,140 --> 00:16:46,540
[Gold Digger!]

364
00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:49,040
[But she got to keep all the stuff.]

365
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,340
[Useful.]

366
00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:55,340
[AWESOME!]

367
00:16:57,340 --> 00:16:59,340
[Wah Wah Wah Waaaaaah]

368
00:17:01,340 --> 00:17:03,640
[Makes sense.]

369
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,140
[Poor Tien.]

370
00:17:06,140 --> 00:17:08,140
[You guys realize he was 24 at this point, right?]

371
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,340
[She doesn't need Santa for that.]

372
00:17:13,340 --> 00:17:15,340
[Ew]

373
00:17:19,340 --> 00:17:21,540
[Too bad it only counts towards the movies.]

374
00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:43,540
[Unless it's not Christmas Time. Then...why are you watching till this point?