1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,040
[Disclaimer read by KaiserNeko]

2
00:00:11,980 --> 00:00:15,900
PICCOLO: 'Alright now, hear me out:
So I fire the Special Beam Cannon with one hand, right?'
[And take 5 minutes to charge it.]

3
00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:16,820
NAIL: 'Yeah?'

4
00:00:16,820 --> 00:00:18,420
PICCOLO: 'What if I used...'

5
00:00:18,420 --> 00:00:19,800
PICCOLO: 'What if I used...TWO hands?'
[Would it take 10 minutes to charge?]

6
00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:21,240
NAIL: 'You mean like the Kamehameha?'

7
00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:25,760
PICCOLO: 'NO! NOT LIKE THE KAMEHAMEHA!
THE KAMEHAMEHA DOESN'T *DRILL* THINGS!'
[Good Point.]

8
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:27,500
NAIL: 'Last time I checked, neither do cannons.'
[Good counter point.]

9
00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:30,100
PICCOLO: 'Thaaat's what makes it SPECIAL!'
[Good counter counter point.]

10
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[Dragon makes playful noises]
GOHAN: Hey, Mr. Piccolo! Look what I found - it's a dragon!
[I thought Santa gave you him for Christmas.]

11
00:00:34,140 --> 00:00:34,920
NAIL: 'Who's that?'

12
00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:38,240
PICCOLO: 'It's just Gohan. If you ignore it, it'll go away.'

13
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,080
[Dragon continues to make noises]
GOHAN: He's a western style dragon.

14
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[Dragon continues to make noises]
I taught him how to dance. Show him Icarus!

15
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[Gohan joins in by whistling]
NAIL: 'So do you just ignore all of your problems?'
[Well Goku was a problem at one point. He tried to kill him.]

16
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PICCOLO: 'No. Some of them I invite to live in my *head*.'

17
00:00:47,900 --> 00:00:51,260
NAIL: 'Well, I'm sorry, it's just that there's so much space in here I didn't think you'd-'

18
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:53,980
'-Ahhhh! Oh my God, what the hell is that?!'

19
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PICCOLO: 'Ahh! I don't know!
It's like someone's torturing a frickin' cat!'

20
00:00:58,240 --> 00:00:59,940
MR. POPO: [Humming]
[Of course.]

21
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:01,600
...What?

22
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,820
KAMI: Mr. Popo, are you torturing a cat?!

23
00:01:03,820 --> 00:01:06,220
MR. POPO: Oh come on Kami, I don't torture

24
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cats.

25
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MR. POPO'S BITCH: Jynx, Jynx!

26
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MR. POPO: Bitch, shut up!

27
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NAIL: 'Make it STOP!!'

28
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PICCOLO [Ready to kill something]: 'GOHAN I WILL CARVE YOU LIKE A PUMPKIN!!!'

29
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[Icarus and Gohan fall silent]

30
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GOHAN: I'm sorry, Mr. Piccolo.

31
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ICARUS: Blblbla!

32
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PICCOLO: I'll kill it!
[Rude.]

33
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Huh?!

34
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GOHAN: Uhh!

35
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["I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" plays in the background]

36
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{KLUN KLIN}
["I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" plays in the background]

37
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DR. BRIEFS: Honey! Good news:
I've isolated the gay gene!

38
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:44,220
Now we'll finally be able to make it through Manhattan at a decent time.
I knew this combination telescope microscope would come in handy.

39
00:01:44,540 --> 00:01:50,080
Also, there's a giant meteor coming towards the planet.
QUICK! Get me Bruce Willis, Steve Buscemi, and Aerosmith.

40
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OOLONG: What about Ben Affleck?

41
00:01:51,540 --> 00:01:52,620
DR. BRIEFS: What about bacon?

42
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GOKU: So if I blow this meteor up, I get bacon?
[Damn, they killed Oolong? Good thing it's non-canon.]

43
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KRILLIN: Why am I Mr. Pink?

44
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GOKU: HYAAAAAGH!

45
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KRILLIN: HAAAAAGH!
GOKU: HYAAAAAGH!

46
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BULMA: (Think) it'll work?
[Dammit, they didn't kill him]

47
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OOLONG: Nnnope.

48
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GOKU: NOOOOOOOOO MY BACOOON!!!

49
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KRILLIN: I'M A VIRGIIIIIIN!!!
GOKU: NOOOOOOOOO MY BACOOON!!!

50
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[AKA Totally Not The King Piccolo Saga]

51
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{BOOOM}

52
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BULMA: Well, good news is we're not dead.

53
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:33,800
OOLONG: And hey, the city's OK too.
Hell, there's even a new building.

54
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,480
GOHAN: That's no building...

55
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,480
That's a space station (!)
[Aaaaand they get sued by Disney.]

56
00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:41,420
RANDOM DUDE: What the heck do you think's inside?

57
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SOME OTHER DUDE: I BET IT'S JESUS!
I'm calling Jesus! You heard it here, folks! I said Jesus!

58
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,700
ANOTHER DUDE: Hi, Jesus!

59
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,260
MOOK: OK guys, move out. This is easy pickings.

60
00:03:00,820 --> 00:03:03,060
SOME OTHER DUDE: Look everyone, it's Jesus' death army!

61
00:03:03,740 --> 00:03:05,740
Something about what I just said doesn't sound right.
[You think?]

62
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MOOK: Inhabitants of Earth!

63
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Prepare to be conquered in the name of Lord Slug!

64
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SOME OTHER DUDE: WE LOVE YOU JESUUUS!!!

65
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:17,260
MOOK [slightly amused]: What the hell is going on? Heh, open fire.

66
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[Crowd screams]

67
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[Gross eating noises]

68
00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:22,440
ZEEUN: GYOSHU!

69
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:26,080
WHY IS THE PROCESS OF TERRA-FREEZING THE PLANET TAKING SO LONG?!

70
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:30,380
GYOSHU: You can just say "terra-freezing process";
"terra-freezing the planet" sounds REDUNDANT.

71
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ZEEUN: WELL, WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG?!

72
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GYOSHU: Because apparently someone needed a F*CKING English lesson!

73
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ZEEUN: YOU LISTEN HERE!

74
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,900
KING PICCOLO IS ON BORROWED TIME! WE-

75
00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:39,660
"KING PICCOLO": [Growling]
KING PICCOLO IS ON BORROWED TIME! WE-

76
00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:45,220
-uh OH! Wuh I I-I uh, I am so sorry,
that was a total slip-up on my part!

77
00:03:45,220 --> 00:03:46,780
Please forgive me King Piccolo...

78
00:03:46,780 --> 00:03:47,600
Please forgive me King Piccolo...I did it again (!)

79
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AAAAAAAUUUUUUUGHH!!!

80
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"KING PICCOLO": Hrrmmmm.

81
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GYOSHU: How long will it take?

82
00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:54,960
GYOSHU: Well, King Piccolo, I believe it will take...

83
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:55,760
"KING PICCOLO": [Growling]
GYOSHU: Well, King Piccolo, I believe it will take...

84
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,920
NO WAIT! I SAID IT BECAUSE HE DID IT! I SAID IT BECAUSE HE DID--IIIIT!!!

85
00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,060
"KING PICCOLO": Ehhhhrmm.

86
00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:06,260
KAKUJA: Well, Lord Slug, it is my humble opinion, Lord Slug,
that it will take three days, Lord Slug...Go Team Slug.

87
00:04:06,260 --> 00:04:07,780
LORD SLUG: Rrrreeimmh.

88
00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:08,920
KAKUJA: Thank you, Lord Slug!

89
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,380
LORD SLUG: Heeigh hrmm hrmm mmrgh.

90
00:04:11,380 --> 00:04:12,100
KAKUJA: Your Vicodin?
In the bowl next to you.

91
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:13,640
KAKUJA: Your Vicodin?
In the bowl next to you.
[Jesus, that's a lot of Vicodin.]

92
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:15,640
LORD SLUG: Hreeeeiiighh!

93
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:20,740
[More gross eating noises]

94
00:04:20,740 --> 00:04:22,740
KAKUJA: Oh...look at him go...

95
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,640
GOHAN: Aahh ya!

96
00:04:25,180 --> 00:04:27,760
MOOK: OH GOD ALL I SEE IS GLASS AND BLOOD!!!
[I wonder why?]

97
00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:35,480
CHI-CHI: ATATATATATATATATAT Yaah!

98
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,200
[I'd say they're getting sued by Toei, but if they were, this show wouldn't be a thing.]

99
00:04:39,220 --> 00:04:41,420
CHI-CHI: You see, just because I'm a woman...

100
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,080
BULMA: That actually lasted longer than I expected.

101
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:45,740
GOHAN: MOM!

102
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,320
'AHH! MY HAT!!'

103
00:04:48,860 --> 00:04:52,580
'Oh well... it's a good thing none of these guys don't know what a Dragon Ball is.'

104
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,740
LORD SLUG: Erhh eh drehgen brall.

105
00:04:55,740 --> 00:04:57,200
GOHAN: Crap baskets.

106
00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,160
OOLONG [off-screen]: LET ME GO, YOU CRAZY BITCH!

107
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,720
BULMA [as Oolong]: STOP RIGHT THERE!

108
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,720
I AM KING BACON!
[You're suppose to be a genius Bulma, why would you think this is a good idea?]

109
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:07,140
LEAVE NOW! OR I WILL USE MY VOODOO POWERS ON YOU!
[You're suppose to be a genius Bulma, why would you think this is a good idea?]

110
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,560
ANGILA: You look like a twat!

111
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:09,100
OOLONG: Waaah...!

112
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,560
BULMA: You're talking to the pig, right?

113
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,020
ANGILA: I'm talking to you, yes.

114
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,040
[Damn...]
BULMA: Oh, I am at least an eight!

115
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:17,340
LORD SLUG: Hehh hmm heh hmm hmm mrrghough duh.

116
00:05:17,340 --> 00:05:19,780
BULMA: What? You know what the Dragon Balls are?

117
00:05:19,780 --> 00:05:21,840
LORD SLUG: Hobhhrrrrghoh.

118
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:23,840
BULMA: And you wanna collect all seven?

119
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:29,040
Well tough luck jolly green jackass,
because I'm the only one with a radar to find them.
[Dammit Bulma.]

120
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:33,180
[You don't need captions for this bit. :P]

121
00:05:33,260 --> 00:05:35,420
GOHAN: (Sigh)...Oh my God...

122
00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:36,820
LORD SLUG: Ngaghmmhmmm.

123
00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:39,780
BULMA: Oh God! Get off me! Where's my rape mace?! NO NO NOOO!!!
[You had rape mace? Explain Vegeta then.]

124
00:05:39,780 --> 00:05:41,520
[Vacuum noise]
Uhhh...

125
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,040
GOHAN: BULMA! Ugh!

126
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:44,280
[Slide whistle]

127
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:45,120
Thank you...
[Well, at least they're polite.]

128
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:46,580
ughh...
[Thud]

129
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,140
LORD SLUG: Huegh heh hiergh hmm ngh hagh huh hiergh.

130
00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:52,720
Hmm hergh hrmm hugh heh hgerlh.

131
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,180
MEDAMATCHA: YOU WANT US TO FIND THEM ALL IN AN HOUR?!

132
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:56,840
BUT IT'S HOT AS BALLS!!!

133
00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:59,700
LORD SLUG: Erh, bitch blitch bertch.
[Of course we can hear THAT.]

134
00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:02,460
MEDAMATCHA: Thank you!

135
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:03,740
ANGILA: Thank you.

136
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:05,260
WINGS: Thank you mountain.

137
00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:06,840
SLUG MOOK: I got a Dragon Ball!

138
00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:08,220
ANOTHER SLUG MOOK: I got a Dragon Ball!

139
00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:10,020
YET ANOTHER SLUG MOOK: I got a Dragon Ball!

140
00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:11,620
CHARLIE BROWN: I got a rock.
[The fuck?]

141
00:06:11,860 --> 00:06:14,100
LORD SLUG: HRGH HNGH HEIH HEH HEH!

142
00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:16,820
HRRGH HURGH HUH HEH HAH HUH HRRROUGH!!!

143
00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:28,220
SHENRON: I am the Eternal Dragon.
Why have you summoned me?

144
00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:30,000
LORD SLUG: WREGH HRIEEGH!

145
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,580
HRUGH HMM HROUGH HAH HEH HIIIEEEGH!!!

146
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:37,760
SHENRON: You wish to return to the prime of your youth.

147
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,760
Your wish shall be-

148
00:06:40,260 --> 00:06:44,300
-...wait a second, hold on.
Something seems really familiar about this...

149
00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:45,740
LORD SLUG: HNNNNGRRRRRGH!!!

150
00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:47,180
SHENRON: Ah, it doesn't matter.

151
00:06:47,180 --> 00:06:51,120
Your wish is granted!

152
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,120
LORD SLUG: HA HA HA HA HA!

153
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,540
HRAH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

154
00:06:55,840 --> 00:07:00,900
LORD SLUG THE ALMIGHTY HAS RETURNED!!!

155
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:02,320
My youth...

156
00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,060
My youth...my strength...

157
00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:07,240
My youth...my strength...
MY IMPECCABLE SINGING VOICE!

158
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:09,640
[♫ A parody of "What a Wonderful World" ♫]

159
00:07:13,340 --> 00:07:20,120
♫ I see trees of brown! And skies of black! ♫
[How many times in this show do we have to watch a deer die?]

160
00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:29,060
♫ And I think to myself...what a wonderful world! ♫

161
00:07:30,780 --> 00:07:31,280
GOKU: Wha?

162
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:32,880
Where am I?

163
00:07:33,260 --> 00:07:35,260
YAJIROBE: That meteor kicked your ass!

164
00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:38,220
Turns out, it was full of bad guys too. Who knew?

165
00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:40,940
GOKU: Wow! I must've been out for a while.

166
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:41,780
It's all...

167
00:07:42,460 --> 00:07:43,800
*snowy*...

168
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,980
YAJIROBE: I know, right? It's almost like--

169
00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:49,540
GOKU [o-s]: IT'S CHRISTMAAAAS!!!

170
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:54,440
BULMA [o-s]: It's really a shame how hard it is to find food with all the animals dying.
[NOOOOOOO! ICARUS!]

171
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,120
CHI-CHI: Yes, we just have to make do with what we have.

172
00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:01,560
Gohan! Dragon soup's ready!
It's finger licarus good!
[You bitch!]

173
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:02,660
AHHH!!!

174
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,860
BULMA! GOHAN'S MISSING!

175
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:07,180
AND SO IS THE OUTFIT PICCOLO GAVE HIM!!!

176
00:08:07,180 --> 00:08:07,940
(GASP)

177
00:08:07,940 --> 00:08:10,040
AND RED DAWN'S ON NETFLIX!

178
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,820
GOHAN: WOLVERIIIIIINES!

179
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,880
You can't touch me up here!

180
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,420
SLUG MOOK: WE HAVE BLASTERS!

181
00:08:16,420 --> 00:08:18,240
GOHAN: ONE OF THOSE DOES NOTHING!

182
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,740
SLUG MOOK: HOW ABOUT A HUNDRED?!

183
00:08:19,740 --> 00:08:21,540
[Guns cocking]

184
00:08:22,020 --> 00:08:22,840
GOHAN: Wolverines...?

185
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:25,220
Ahhhhh--uuh!

186
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,880
SLUG MOOK: ALRIGHTY! SH*T STOMP ON THE LITTLE KID!

187
00:08:30,980 --> 00:08:32,640
OH MY GOD ARE YOU BATMAN?! NOOO!!!
[I AM THE SLUG!]

188
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:33,840
[Glass shatters]

189
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,120
[BY GAWD KANG!]

190
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,280
GOHAN: Ahaha! Mr. Piccolo!

191
00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:41,440
PICCOLO: All right, what's your gimmick?

192
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:42,080
WINGS: Gimmick?

193
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:46,240
PICCOLO: Yeah, like the last guys; they were all misfit minions and crap.
What are you?

194
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:50,940
ANGILA: We're just here for your planet.
Though if I had to choose, I'd say I'm the pretty one.

195
00:08:50,940 --> 00:08:52,160
PICCOLO: Eh, 6/10.

196
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,400
ANGILA: You sassy bitch.

197
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:56,200
PICCOLO [o-s]: That makes you the weird one with the freaky power.

198
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,080
MEDAMATCHA: I CAN SPAWN MINI ME'S!

199
00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,180
PICCOLO [o-s]: Spectacular.

200
00:08:59,180 --> 00:09:02,540
And that would make you no doubt the big tough stupid one.

201
00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:04,980
WINGS: YOU TAKE THAT BACK OR I'LL KILL YOU!

202
00:09:04,980 --> 00:09:06,820
PICCOLO: All right, all right, you're not tough.

203
00:09:06,820 --> 00:09:07,920
WINGS: That's better!

204
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:09,240
GOHAN [o-s]: Wait, didn't you--

205
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:10,220
PICCOLO: Give him a minute...

206
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:12,500
WINGS: HEY!

207
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:14,500
YOU SON OF A BITCH!

208
00:09:16,540 --> 00:09:19,500
PICCOLO: Now now, that truck is not your eating disorder.

209
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:20,940
WINGS: YOU'RE A PENIS!

210
00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:24,020
PICCOLO: So long since you've seen yours that you don't even recognize one, do ya?
[This movie has some of the best lines.]

211
00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:26,380
WINGS: RAAAAH--uhh!

212
00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:27,560
{SPLAT}
UGHHHRAAGH!

213
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:29,480
Please don't break mah arm.

214
00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:29,980
PICCOLO: No.

215
00:09:29,980 --> 00:09:30,480
{CRUNCH}
WINGS: Aaaah!
[Ow.]

216
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:31,460
WINGS: Aaaah!
[Ow.]

217
00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:32,360
MEDAMATCHA: D'AAAH-AAGH!

218
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,500
GO, MY LITTLE FREAKS OF NATURE!

219
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:39,500
GOHAN: Oh God, oh no, God!
NO NO *NO* *NO*...!

220
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,920
WINGS: He thinks he's so great. Imma show him.

221
00:09:45,060 --> 00:09:46,380
AW GOD DAMMIT!

222
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,380
All right, go for the left, he won't see me coming from-

223
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:50,480
-AW HE SAW IT COMING!

224
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,620
Fine, I'll wait down here and catch him off guard.

225
00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:54,940
PICCOLO [o-s]: Hey, how's it going?

226
00:09:54,940 --> 00:09:58,100
WINGS [o-s]: Oh hey, I'm just waiting for that green jerk so I can surprise him.

227
00:09:58,280 --> 00:09:59,020
PICCOLO [o-s]: Neat.

228
00:09:59,020 --> 00:10:00,980
WINGS [o-s]: Yeah, he'll never see it co-!

229
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:02,020
-...Ohh.

230
00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:04,020
[Well, okay then.]

231
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:04,680
Hurhh...

232
00:10:05,060 --> 00:10:08,880
All right, look.
I know we said some things...

233
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:13,660
but I bet if we just talk to each other a little, we could become friends.

234
00:10:13,660 --> 00:10:15,180
Whaddya say? High-five?

235
00:10:15,180 --> 00:10:15,940
PICCOLO: Down low.

236
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:16,820
WINGS: Wha--?
PICCOLO: Too slow.
[Oh come on, you two had good banter together.]

237
00:10:16,820 --> 00:10:17,800
[Oh come on, you two had good banter together.]

238
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:25,140
MEDAMATCHA: All right babies, come back to Papa!
It's Daddy's turn to get a shot at him now!

239
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,380
PICCOLO: WHY CAN'T YOU SAVE YOUR OWN DAMN SEEEELLLF?!?!
[HE'S FIVE!]

240
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:34,080
MEDAMATCHA [o-s]: Ha ha! The boss is gonna love this!

241
00:10:34,540 --> 00:10:36,960
LORD SLUG: Oh-ho God, I loove this!

242
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,800
My skin is so F*CKING smooth!

243
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,480
MEDAMATCHA: Now to finish them off.

244
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:44,100
PICCOLO: Ow...

245
00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:46,920
MEDAMATCHA: PAPA MEDAMATCHA GONNA MAKE YOU HIS BITCH!

246
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:48,020
D'AAH!

247
00:10:48,020 --> 00:10:48,980
ANGILA: Who the hell?!

248
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,080
MEDAMATCHA: Heheheheheh.

249
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:55,580
Look, another couple of putzes to knock around! This should be fu-...

250
00:10:55,580 --> 00:11:00,060
-WHAT, BITCH?! I'M TALKING TO YOU!
I WILL SMACK YOU WITH MY DICK!

251
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:02,580
GOKU: Don't worry Gohan, I'll save Christmas.

252
00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:05,140
GOHAN: But... it's not Christmas.

253
00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:07,440
GOKU: Then why is it *snowing*, Gohan?

254
00:11:07,580 --> 00:11:10,400
ANGILA: Not to be rude, but we've got better things to do.

255
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,840
MEDAMATCHA: Yeah, we're gonna take your planet and--

256
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,260
GOKU: Steal Christmas?

257
00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:15,400
ANGILA: Does he mean Freeza Day?

258
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,060
MEDAMATCHA: WHAT THE HELL'S A CHRISTMA-

259
00:11:17,060 --> 00:11:18,680
-YAAAAAGH!

260
00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:25,000
OH, I DON'T GIVE A SH*T WHAT CHRISTMAS IS NOW!!

261
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,860
I JUST KNOW I'M GOING TO KILL IT!

262
00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:29,980
AND THEN MY LITTLE MATCHAS ARE GOING TO *RAPE IT*!!
[Well, you done fucked up.]

263
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:32,560
GOKU: *Nobody rakes Christmas*.

264
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:33,360
ANGILA: TIRAAGH!

265
00:11:34,220 --> 00:11:35,200
MEDAMATCHA!

266
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,200
MEDAMATCHA: SUCK 'EM DRY, BOYS!

267
00:11:39,060 --> 00:11:41,020
GOKU [muffled]: Hmm, what to do...?

268
00:11:41,020 --> 00:11:41,900
MEDAMATCHA: D'AAAGH-

269
00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:42,560
-HUUU...!

270
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:44,480
GOKU: HAAAAAA...!

271
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,580
ANGILA: YOU LITTLE UPSTART *PRICK*!

272
00:11:46,820 --> 00:11:47,600
D'AAAGH!

273
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:48,360
GOKU: URRH!

274
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,420
ANGILA: HUWG-...-UWAA-AGH...!
[Well, that's brutal.]

275
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,480
GOKU: And that's how I saved Christmas.

276
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:55,720
Again.

277
00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,240
KRILLIN: Well, that was unnecessarily brutal.
[I KNOW, RIGHT?!]

278
00:11:58,900 --> 00:11:59,640
[Mooks are screaming]
How bout them?

279
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:00,360
[Mooks are screaming]
GOKU: They can live.

280
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,260
{BOOM}

281
00:12:01,260 --> 00:12:01,920
Or not...
[Or not]

282
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:05,680
LORD SLUG: God, we go through soldiers here like copy paper.

283
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:10,620
IF YOU'RE WITH THE GOVERNMENT OR THE CHURCH,
GET THE F*CK OFF MY PROPERTY!
[How does he know about either?]

284
00:12:10,620 --> 00:12:15,300
Which, considering I now own this rock, is effectively *everything*.

285
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:19,440
KRILLIN: Don't worry, Goku.
Just sit on back and let Krillin handle this one.

286
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:19,940
[TiVo beep]

287
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:22,840
VEGETA [o-s]: Oh-ho, my God. This is going to be amazing.
[And we get a Vegeta cameo.]

288
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,840
Aaand, record.
[Cause he doesn't show up till Cooler's Revenge]

289
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:25,340
[TiVo beep]

290
00:12:25,340 --> 00:12:26,500
KRILLIN: Waaah-!

291
00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:30,220
-WHAT POSSESSED ME TO DO THA-HAAAAT...?!

292
00:12:30,220 --> 00:12:31,400
{BOOM}

293
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,300
VEGETA: And the Emmy goes to...

294
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:34,340
GOKU: KRILLIN!

295
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:48,280
LORD SLUG: You know, there's a certain sport I excel at.

296
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:49,420
GOKU [muffled]: What's it called?

297
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,940
LORD SLUG: COMPETITIVE BITCH TOSS!

298
00:12:54,460 --> 00:12:55,340
PICCOLO: Hey, Gohan.

299
00:12:56,180 --> 00:13:00,980
Gohan, you wanna do that thing, where you get
really mad and start beating the guy up?

300
00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:02,860
Gohan?

301
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,120
*Gohan*?

302
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,320
Don't you F*CKING ignore me (!)
[HE'S UNCONSCIOUS!]

303
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:14,780
GOKU: 'All right, I just gotta pull myself together.
At least he's not shooting laser eyes at me or something.'

304
00:13:14,780 --> 00:13:15,980
'He's an X-Man!'

305
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:23,880
'Oh great, Iguana Street. Now I'm gonna get mugged.
But jokes on them; I have no mon--'

306
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:24,700
AGH!

307
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:25,520
{SMASH}

308
00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:29,340
GOKU [muffled]: Oh hey, I should take Chi-Chi here. She'll love this place.

309
00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:30,040
GOKU: UGH!

310
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:30,840
AUGH!

311
00:13:31,820 --> 00:13:33,280
LORD SLUG: This is amazing!

312
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:39,580
I feel like a young strapping lad,
beating his meat furiously for the first time!
[What the fuck?]

313
00:13:39,580 --> 00:13:41,100
KING KAI [telepathically]: Goku, do you hear me?!

314
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:44,760
GOKU [t]: Hey, King Kai.
My nipples are rigid right now.
[...]

315
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:45,980
KING KAI [t]: That's...

316
00:13:45,980 --> 00:13:49,580
Anyway, I noticed you're having a hard time down there.

317
00:13:49,740 --> 00:13:54,040
GOKU [t]: Yeah, he's pretty really strong.
I'm not sure what to do.

318
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,760
But if I fail, Christmas is *doomed*!

319
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:57,600
KING KAI [t]: But it's not...

320
00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:58,620
{KLING}

321
00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:03,580
D'I mean yes! Goku, it's Christmas, and you're about to let Christmas die!

322
00:14:03,580 --> 00:14:05,960
GOKU [t]: But he's so strong. I don't think I can--

323
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:11,940
KING KAI [t]: Goku! You're the only one who can do this!
You are the Champion of Christmas!

324
00:14:12,340 --> 00:14:14,940
LORD SLUG: Hehehehe. DIE!!!

325
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:16,380
Huh?!

326
00:14:17,780 --> 00:14:18,300
GOKU (voice now modulated): HAAAAH...!

327
00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:18,900
{CRUNCH}
GOKU (voice now modulated): HAAAAH...!

328
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,560
LORD SLUG: SON OF A BITCH! MY WHITTLING HAND!

329
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,140
GOKU: I AM CHAMPION CHRISTMAS!!!
[Apparently Pseudo Super Sayain gives you Demon Voice.]

330
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,540
KING KAI: Holy crap! Where'd this come from?!

331
00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:32,240
He's become...super powered.

332
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:35,920
Like some kind of...super...saiyaman.

333
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:39,840
TALKING MOVIE BUBBLES: Sir, if I might interject,
that sounds positively ridiculous.

334
00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:41,520
KING KAI [o-s]: SHUT UP, TALKING MOVIE BUBBLES!

335
00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:42,260
LORD SLUG: D'AAUGH!

336
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,540
What the hell got into you?!

337
00:14:45,540 --> 00:14:48,800
GOKU: I WILL STOP YOU FROM DESTROYING CHRISTMAS!!!

338
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,700
LORD SLUG: What are you talking about? It's JULY!

339
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:55,040
GOKU: DON'T "JULY" TO ME!!! IT'S *SNOWING*!

340
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:57,780
LORD SLUG: I FROZE YOUR PLANET, YOU *MOOK*!

341
00:14:57,780 --> 00:14:58,340
GOKU: Wha?

342
00:14:59,140 --> 00:15:00,260
Awwwwwwwww...

343
00:15:00,260 --> 00:15:01,700
KING KAI: Aww, crap.

344
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,560
TALKING MOVIE BUBBLES: Well, that's inconvenient.

345
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:05,440
KING KAI: MOVIE BUBBLES, I SWEAR TO GOD!

346
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:06,480
IN A TRUNK!

347
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:07,660
OFF A CLIFF!

348
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:11,560
GOKU (voice back to normal): Well, I still have to defeat you.
And you can't win with a broken arm.

349
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:12,540
{SPLAT}

350
00:15:12,540 --> 00:15:15,300
No no no! You're supposed to leave it on, it gets better!

351
00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:16,380
LORD SLUG: AUGGH-UU!

352
00:15:16,380 --> 00:15:20,820
GOKU: Or you know, grow it back...
wait a minute, that means your...

353
00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:23,660
JAW IS ENORMOUS!

354
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,400
[Lord Slug yells during his power-up]

355
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:31,620
GOKU: 'Hold on a minute. I know now!
I know what he is! He's a--'

356
00:15:31,620 --> 00:15:33,580
KING KAI [t]: DO NOT SAY "YOSHI"!!

357
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:34,960
GOKU [t]: Imma still think it.

358
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:38,600
KING KAI [t]: *Namekian*, Goku.
Na-me-ki-an!
[Was this suppose to be a big twist when the movie first came out?]

359
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:42,520
A Super Namekian, mind you, who's here to rule over your planet.

360
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:48,920
Apparently he is the banished other half of the Grand Elder Namekian,
who became too old and decrepit to fight.

361
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:52,680
But now he has used the Dragon Balls to return himself to his prime.

362
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:56,880
GOKU: Hold on a second.
Now, I may not be the brightest knife in the crayon box...

363
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,620
but that sure sounds a lot like...

364
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:00,260
HEY!

365
00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:03,040
You wouldn't be related to King Piccolo, would you?

366
00:16:03,260 --> 00:16:08,180
Hope that doesn't sound racist, I gotta be careful about that.
We're still in Iguana Street...

367
00:16:08,180 --> 00:16:08,880
LORD SLUG: RWAAGH!
GOKU: EEK!

368
00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:14,280
'OK, do Namekians know about sensing energy?
Seem to remember they don-...'

369
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:15,320
'-OH GOD, THEY DO!'

370
00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:21,800
LORD SLUG: Hey.
[Is Slug laying down to do this? Or is Goku on an elevated level?]

371
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:22,500
GOKU: Hi.
[Is Slug laying down to do this? Or is Goku on an elevated level?]

372
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:23,600
LORD SLUG: How's it going?
[Is Slug laying down to do this? Or is Goku on an elevated level?]

373
00:16:23,660 --> 00:16:26,540
GOKU: Eh, you know, kinda bummed it isn't actually Christmas.
[Is Slug laying down to do this? Or is Goku on an elevated level?]

374
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,380
LORD SLUG: Yeah, kinda sucks.

375
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:31,260
GOKU [rapidly]: KAMEHAME--

376
00:16:31,260 --> 00:16:31,760
LORD SLUG: BWAAAAUUGH!!!

377
00:16:36,140 --> 00:16:38,860
Ahh, there's no kill quite like overki-...

378
00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:39,760
-Huh?

379
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,580
HOW DID I MISS HIM?! I SHOT HIM POINT BLANK!

380
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,860
GOKU: I love you, lucky wristbands.

381
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:47,160
LORD SLUG: COME HERE!

382
00:16:48,980 --> 00:16:49,940
GOKU: RUNNING RUNNING RUNNING RUNNING!

383
00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:50,680
FACE!

384
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:51,200
LORD SLUG: RWAARGH!

385
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:53,080
RWEEGH!

386
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:53,660
GOKU: Whoa hot!

387
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,120
LORD SLUG: GET OVER HERE!
[Scorpion: I'm suing!]

388
00:16:56,420 --> 00:16:57,880
[Evil chuckle]
GOKU: Now I know what you're thinking.

389
00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,400
"Should I crush him?"

390
00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:01,680
And the answer may surprise you.

391
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:02,580
{SQUEAK}
AGH!

392
00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:03,760
LORD SLUG: Huh? What the...

393
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:04,820
{SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK}
[Not this shit again.]

394
00:17:04,820 --> 00:17:05,360
GOKU: Uuuu...

395
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:07,180
LORD SLUG: THIS IS AMAZING!

396
00:17:07,180 --> 00:17:12,200
GOKU [in distress]: Why does everyone laugh when they do that?
That's my ribs crushing my *lungs*!
[That doesn't even begin to make sense.]

397
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:12,700
{SQUEAK}

398
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:13,520
Uhh-huu...

399
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,020
LORD SLUG: [Evil chuckle]

400
00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:16,380
LORD SLUG: Rwaagh??
PICCOLO [o-s]: Hey, name's Piccolo.

401
00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:20,120
Nice to meet ya. I've got your antennae. Whatcha gonna do now?

402
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,800
Aha! I knew you'd do that!

403
00:17:24,180 --> 00:17:26,560
Now for part TWO of my master plan!

404
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,380
Aaaaahh!

405
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,700
LORD SLUG: The hell is wrong with everyone on this planet?!
[Soooooo many things.]

406
00:17:30,980 --> 00:17:35,660
PICCOLO: GOHAN! I NEED YOU TO DO THAT THING THAT REALLY ANNOYS ME!

407
00:17:35,660 --> 00:17:37,120
GOHAN: You mean talk?

408
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:37,740
PICCOLO: WHAT?!

409
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,140
YOU KNOW, THAT THING YOU WERE DOING EARLIER TODAY!
[Today? The scene with Chi-Chi implied a longer span of time.]

410
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,680
IT REALLY GOT ON MY NERVES!

411
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,320
GOHAN: I don't recall, Mr. Picco--

412
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:45,900
PICCOLO [o-s]: WHAT?!

413
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:50,060
HE HASN'T LOOSENED HIS GRIP YET SO YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT DOING IT!

414
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:52,640
REMEMBER! BACK AT THE WATERFALL!

415
00:17:52,980 --> 00:17:54,540
YOU WERE DOING IT WITH YOUR MOUTH!

416
00:17:56,380 --> 00:17:56,960
WHAT?!

417
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,640
GOHAN: Ohh, whistle.

418
00:17:59,140 --> 00:18:04,540
[Gohan whistles the opening theme to "The Andy Griffifth Show"]

419
00:18:04,540 --> 00:18:06,080
LORD SLUG: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

420
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,080
AHAHA--what the...?

421
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,660
Oh my God.

422
00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:10,720
Oh my God. Oh my God.

423
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:11,540
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God!

424
00:18:11,540 --> 00:18:12,240
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God! OH MY GOD!

425
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:12,920
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

426
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:13,520
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

427
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:15,900
AHH, IT'S LIKE ONE DRILL IN ONE EAR!

428
00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:17,880
AHH, IT'S LIKE ONE DRILL IN ONE EAR!
AND ANOTHER DRILL IN THE OTHER EAR!

429
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:21,660
AHH, IT'S LIKE ONE DRILL IN ONE EAR!
AND ANOTHER DRILL IN THE OTHER EAR!
AND THEY'RE MEETING IN THE MIDDLLLEEEE!!!
[Thanks for that visual.]

430
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,680
PICCOLO: Gotta, get closer, to Goku...

431
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,540
Give, him, my, energy...

432
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:30,760
Probably, should have, stretched, my arms...!

433
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:31,260
Got it!

434
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,200
GOKU: What...happened?

435
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:36,760
PICCOLO: WHAT?!

436
00:18:37,980 --> 00:18:41,340
LORD SLUG: THAT'S IT! Time for the universal mute button!

437
00:18:43,780 --> 00:18:46,220
Oh balls, that was my ship...

438
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,660
AND WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!

439
00:18:49,660 --> 00:18:50,760
GOKU: KAIŌKEN!!!

440
00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:51,800
LORD SLUG: Kaiō--

441
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:52,300
PICCOLO [o-s]: WHAT?!

442
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:53,680
GOKU: AAAAAAGH...!

443
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:54,620
LORD SLUG: D'AAAARGH-!
GOKU: AAAAAAGH...!
[Goku even uses the same technique that he used on King Piccolo.]

444
00:18:54,620 --> 00:18:55,840
LORD SLUG: -AAAARGH...!
GOKU: YAAAH!
[Goku even uses the same technique that he used on King Piccolo.]

445
00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,940
GOKU: Now I must go. My planet needs me.
[Your planet's here.]

446
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:01,900
[What?]

447
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:07,940
♫ Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, kill my enemies! ♫

448
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,960
LORD SLUG: IF I'M GONNA DIE I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME!!!

449
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,780
GOKU: SEE YOU IN HFIL!

450
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,480
LORD SLUG: AAAAARGH...!

451
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:16,780
{BOOOM}

452
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:20,960
WHY DIDN'T I WISH FOR IMMORTALITYYYYY?!?!?!

453
00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:37,600
GOKU: Now that I've defeated King Piccolo,
I can wish back Chiaotzu, Master Roshi, and Krillin.

454
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:41,220
PICCOLO [o-s]: WHAT?!

455
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:47,960
NAPPA: Yo dawg, it's the year 2000!
It's time for another Nappa cover, cuz this SH*T don't get ollld!

456
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:49,960
[♫ Nappa and Piccolo "sing" a parody of "Disturbed" ♫]

457
00:19:51,140 --> 00:19:53,400
♫ I've been waiting my whole life for just one... ♫

458
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,200
♫ WHAT?! ♫

459
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,940
♫ All I needed was just one... ♫

460
00:19:55,940 --> 00:19:56,520
♫ WHAT?! ♫

461
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,480
♫ How can you say that I don't give a... ♫

462
00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,060
♫ WHAT?! ♫

463
00:19:59,060 --> 00:20:01,260
♫ By myself stupified coming back again. ♫

464
00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:01,840
♫ WHAT?! ♫

465
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,800
♫ I get stupefied... ♫

466
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,340
♫ I get stupefied... ♫

467
00:20:13,940 --> 00:20:15,940
[Guru's letter to Slug]

468
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:10,900
SUPER KAMI GURU: NAAIIILL! COME AND MAAIIILL THIS FOR ME!

469
00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:13,480
NAIL: Sir, we don't have a mail system...

470
00:21:14,420 --> 00:21:15,380
SUPER KAMI GURU: Nail.

471
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,120
Gather the Dragon Balls.