1
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:13,160
PICCOLO: Rrrraaaaaaaghhh!!!

2
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:16,500
(Perfect!)

3
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:19,300
(Now I have a place to put my castle once I rule the world.)
[In the middle of a wasteland...]

4
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,420
(And it'll have all the things a castle requires.)
[Then again, it *is* fitting for him.]

5
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:23,980
(Like walls...)

6
00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:26,020
(and subjects...) (Future Nail: You're lonly.)

7
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:27,900
Maybe even a trebuch--

8
00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:28,400
Huh?

9
00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:31,820
Wait, are they running on air? (THEY'RE JESUS)

10
00:00:32,260 --> 00:00:33,120
That's riduculous.

11
00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:34,940
They're flying! Why would they even need to--

12
00:00:34,940 --> 00:00:35,880
Ahhh!!

13
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:37,060
GINGER: F*CK 'EM UP!!

14
00:00:37,060 --> 00:00:38,160
CINNAMON: From the front!
PEPPER: To the back!

15
00:00:38,740 --> 00:00:40,940
PICCOLO: Oh, you better just KILL me!

16
00:00:42,140 --> 00:00:42,940
Shit.
(Be careful what you wish for?)

17
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:45,840
Aaaaaaaaaahhh!!!

18
00:00:45,900 --> 00:00:47,000
KAMI: Ahh!!

19
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,360
MR. POPO: You OK in there, Kami?

20
00:00:48,620 --> 00:00:49,620
KAMI: Mr. Popo!

21
00:00:49,620 --> 00:00:50,660
I believe...

22
00:00:50,660 --> 00:00:52,740
...that Piccolo may have been slain. (Then how are you still...)

23
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:55,780
MR. POPO: I'd think you'd know if he were. (Yeah, that...)

24
00:00:57,060 --> 00:00:57,820
MR. POPO: You still there?

25
00:00:57,820 --> 00:00:58,580
KAMI: Yes...

26
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:00,580
MR. POPO: Then he ain't dead, is he, drama queen?

27
00:01:00,580 --> 00:01:01,640
DRAMA QUEEN: But you don't understand--

28
00:01:01,820 --> 00:01:02,860
MR. POPO: DRAMA QUEEN!

29
00:01:02,860 --> 00:01:04,460
DRAMA QUEEN: I think Garlic Jr. may have--

30
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,860
MR. POPO: DRAMA QUEEEEEN!

31
00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:09,120
DRAMA QUEEN: (sigh)

32
00:01:09,580 --> 00:01:10,740
Garlic Jr.'s back. (What about his back?)

33
00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:36,340
NERD: "Miss Watson, she kept pecking at me,
and it got tiresome and lonesome."

34
00:01:36,740 --> 00:01:38,680
"By and by, they fetched the nig--" (WOW)

35
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:39,700
Huh.

36
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,520
That's not a word I've ever heard before.
(Your mother would not approve)

37
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:42,500
Oh well.

38
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:43,900
"They fetched the nig--" (NOPENOPENOPE)

39
00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:45,480
CHI-CHI: Gohan! Lunch is ready!
(Thank Kami!)
[Saved by the Chi-Chi]

40
00:01:45,580 --> 00:01:47,580
Come help me set the table!

41
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:48,800
GOHAN: Oh yay!

42
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:52,600
And Dad's gone fishing! Which means I'll get seconds!
(How does this kid not look like an Oxfam Poster?)

43
00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:53,540
GOKU: Hmm?
(Imagine if he'd been that fast when the Saiyans showed up)

44
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,840
OX KING: Hey! Gohan!

45
00:01:57,180 --> 00:01:58,220
GOHAN: Grandpa Ox!

46
00:01:58,340 --> 00:02:00,680
CHI-CHI: Oh! Daddy! What are you doing here?

47
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,140
GRANDPA OX: I wanted to drop by and see my grandson!

48
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,460
Also, money for you guys to live.
(Guess he's Ox-fam)
[Laaaaaaame]

49
00:02:06,020 --> 00:02:07,300
CHI-CHI: Thank you, Daddy.

50
00:02:07,620 --> 00:02:10,440
OX-FAM: I also brought you a gift, Gohan!

51
00:02:10,780 --> 00:02:11,380
GOHAN: A puppy!

52
00:02:11,380 --> 00:02:12,220
OX-FAM: BOOKS!!

53
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,120
GOHAN: Yaaayy...
[Can't I at least get a GameBoy?]

54
00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:16,640
CHI-CHI: Oh, I'm sure he'll love them, won't you, Goh--

55
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:17,440
Daddy?

56
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:19,660
GOHAN: Grandpa?

57
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:20,920
Grandpa?!

58
00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:21,920
OX-FAM: Errrrrrrr...

59
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:23,860
GOHAN: Mom? Mom?! MOM?!

60
00:02:23,860 --> 00:02:25,000
OX-FAM: Uugggh...

61
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,840
GOHAN: Mommy! Grandpa's having a stroke!

62
00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:30,140
GINGER: Hi!

63
00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,440
CHI-CHI: Gohan! Go inside immediately!

64
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,740
CINNAMON: Oh yeah, come on in.

65
00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:38,940
CHi-CHI: (Son of a bitch just ate my pears!)
[You in fo' an ass kicking.]

66
00:02:39,060 --> 00:02:41,060
You know we don't have a car, right?

67
00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:43,680
That's like a 10-mile Nimbus ride to the nearest city.

68
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:44,740
For pears!

69
00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:49,020
You have ten seconds to tell me what you want
before I strangle you with that cowl!
[This doesn't seem that threating until you realize, at this point in time, Chi-Chi was the 7th strongest fighter in the show.]

70
00:02:49,020 --> 00:02:50,140
GINGER: I want the Dragonball!

71
00:02:50,140 --> 00:02:50,920
Gimme the kid!

72
00:02:50,980 --> 00:02:52,980
CHI-CHI: What? You can't have my son!

73
00:02:52,980 --> 00:02:54,720
You just want the Dragonball, right?

74
00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:55,860
GINGER: Don't question my f*cking methods!

75
00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:57,440
F*ck it! I'm taking your dad!

76
00:02:58,260 --> 00:02:59,380
He's a f*cking fatass!

77
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:00,940
Forget it! I'ma take your kid!

78
00:03:00,940 --> 00:03:01,900
PEPPER: Yo, Ginger!

79
00:03:01,900 --> 00:03:03,200
GINGER: Oh right, Dragonball too.

80
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,040
Please? If you wouldn't mind?

81
00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:05,560
CHI-CHI: I do.

82
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:06,720
GINGER: Too f*cking bad!

83
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:07,600
CHI-CHI: Enough of this!

84
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:08,360
Hyyyaa--

85
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:09,160
Aaaaah!!

86
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:10,020
GOHAN: Mommy!

87
00:03:10,300 --> 00:03:11,960
GINGER: Haha! F*cking WHAT!!

88
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:19,660
GOKU: Chi-Chi! I heard lunch! What happened?!

89
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,900
CHI-CHI: Goku... they took...

90
00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:22,840
GOKU: OUR LUNCH?!

91
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:26,360
CHI-CHI: No... they took... our so--

92
00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:27,700
GOKU: Oh hey, your dad's here!
OX-KING: [pain]

93
00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:28,620
Hi Ox King!
OX-KING: [pain]

94
00:03:28,620 --> 00:03:29,120
CHI-CHI: Focus!

95
00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,760
They took... Gohan!
(They took your rice?)

96
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,600
GOKU: Ah man! I can't have him miss lunch!
(We all miss her...)

97
00:03:34,740 --> 00:03:36,740
It's the fourth most important meal of the day!

98
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:38,300
Right after brunch...

99
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:40,300
But right before linner.

100
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:42,300
Love me some linner though...

101
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,880
So I'ma go get Gohan back. We'll be back in time for linner.

102
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:46,980
Chicken and waffles?

103
00:03:46,980 --> 00:03:48,000
Chicken and waffles.

104
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,080
OX KING: (grunting in pain)

105
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:50,220
GOKU: Oh, and some for your dad.

106
00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:54,760
GARLIC JR.: So let me get this straight.
[Weird ass castle.]

107
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:59,020
I send you shit-fits off to find me a Dragonball
and you bring back a toddler.

108
00:03:59,020 --> 00:04:00,800
PEPPER: Well, we did bring back a Dragonball.

109
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,280
GARLIC JR.: AND a toddler!

110
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:05,540
Did you try... I don't know... taking OFF the hat?!

111
00:04:05,540 --> 00:04:07,440
CINNAMON: Well, we thought about it on the way back

112
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,220
but it really brings the whole "Chinese prince" look together.

113
00:04:10,420 --> 00:04:12,920
GINGER: And he's your size. You can ROCK that shit!

114
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:14,760
GARLIC JR.: Fair enough.

115
00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:17,140
GOHAN: My Daddy's not gonna let you get away with this!

116
00:04:17,140 --> 00:04:18,340
GINGER: Big f*cking whoop!

117
00:04:18,340 --> 00:04:20,680
We beat Piccolo and that guy's strong as shit!

118
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,640
GOHAN: Yeah? So did my Dad.

119
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:23,940
GINGER: By himself?!

120
00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:24,660
GOHAN: Yeah!

121
00:04:25,340 --> 00:04:26,740
GARLIC JR.: Oh God, your father's Goku.

122
00:04:27,060 --> 00:04:30,700
OH MY GOD! YOU MORONS STOLE GOKU'S KID?!

123
00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:31,540
How?!

124
00:04:31,540 --> 00:04:33,460
How did you steal Goku's kid?!
[You didn't think Goku would have the 4-STAR DRAGON BALL?!]

125
00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:34,980
CINNAMON: Well, first, we beat up his wife...

126
00:04:34,980 --> 00:04:36,320
GARLIC JR.: Oh my shit!

127
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:37,900
OK, look, new plan!

128
00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:39,400
Get the last two Dragonballs!

129
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,280
NOW!

130
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:44,080
CINNAMON: Oh yeah, we'll just go off,
scour the globe, and be back before linner.

131
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:44,760
(laughs)

132
00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,740
You know, it's not like they make a RADAR for this shit!

133
00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,200
GOKU: Oh yeah, someone IS collecting the Dragonballs.

134
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,100
BULMA: Why'd they take Gohan?

135
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:53,880
GOKU: I dunno.

136
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:57,180
Maybe they just want a good ol'-fashioned Goku fanny whooping!

137
00:04:57,180 --> 00:04:58,160
BULMA: "Fanny"?

138
00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,820
GOKU: Chi-Chi doesn't like us to swear.

139
00:04:59,820 --> 00:05:01,360
BULMA: "Butt" isn't a swear.

140
00:05:01,740 --> 00:05:03,340
GOKU: The HFIL you talkin' bout?!

141
00:05:03,540 --> 00:05:05,540
CINNAMON: Come back here, you little shitplin!

142
00:05:05,540 --> 00:05:08,640
GOHAN: No! You smell like hairspray and shea butter.

143
00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:12,160
CINNAMON: Swear to God, I don't know
how I got put in charge of babysitting!

144
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,340
Dammit, I need something to take the edge off...
(That explains a lot)

145
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:16,200
Paaaahh!!

146
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,160
GOHAN: You're it!!

147
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,540
JUNKIE: I WILL SLAP FIRE FROM YOU!

148
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:21,620
I swear to God...

149
00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:23,560
Oh good, there you are.

150
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:27,300
Now, be a good little crotch-spawn and let's go back to your room.

151
00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:28,520
GOHAN: I'm hungry!

152
00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:32,120
JUNKIE: Ah, well maybe I can make you a peanut butter, jelly, and ether sandwich and--

153
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,540
Where did you get that apple?!

154
00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:34,400
GOHAN: In the tree.

155
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,280
JUNKIE: Don't eat that apple!

156
00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:36,420
GOHAN: Imma eat the apple.

157
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:37,560
JUNKIE: Don't eat that apple!

158
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:38,580
GOHAN: Imma eat the apple!

159
00:05:38,580 --> 00:05:40,300
JUNKIE: DO! NOT!

160
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:41,200
EAT!

161
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:41,940
THAT!

162
00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:42,440
APP--

163
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,080
Oh balls...
(Same thing happened to me last time I babysat)

164
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:50,120
Well, I hope you packed your bags, kid...
(Same thing happened to me last time I babysat)

165
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,680
because you're about to go on a trip...
(I'm not allowed near kids any more)

166
00:05:56,720 --> 00:06:15,220
(Gohan laughing)
[aaaannnnd welcome to your night terrors for the next few weeks.]

167
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,040
GINGER: Got the last motherf*cking balls!

168
00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:26,100
GARLIC JR.: Gotta say, I'm sort of impressed.

169
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:27,840
How did you find them so fast?

170
00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:29,880
GINGER: Prize in a high-stakes poker game.

171
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:31,920
GARLIC JR.: Wow. Never thought you had a poker face.

172
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,160
RAIN MAN: Never said I played!

173
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,740
GARLIC JR.: Once again, fair enough.

174
00:06:46,660 --> 00:06:49,900
SHENRON: I AM THE ETERNAL DRAGON.

175
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,880
MAKE YOUR WISH AND I SHALL--

176
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,500
GARLIC JR.: MAKE ME IMMORTAL!

177
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:55,520
SHENRON: Oh.

178
00:06:56,580 --> 00:06:58,060
R-really?!

179
00:06:58,060 --> 00:06:58,860
Wow!

180
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,200
I can't remember the last time someone

181
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,200
actually nutted up and asked for that.
[Too bad he didn't meet Vegeta till after he lost interest in immortality.]

182
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:04,880
Congrats!

183
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,000
Can't wait to hear how you f*ck this up.

184
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,160
GARLIC JR.: Wait, the hell's that mean?

185
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:09,000
SHENRON: It means

186
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:14,180
YOUR WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED.

187
00:07:16,140 --> 00:07:19,540
GARLIC JR.: Yes! YES! I can feel it!

188
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:23,300
With this eternal body, I shall enslave the world

189
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:26,320
and rule it with great prejudice and terror!

190
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:28,780
Hail Garlic Jr.!

191
00:07:28,780 --> 00:07:30,780
HAIL ME!!

192
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,440
ALL: Hail Garlic Jr.! Hail Garlic Jr.!

193
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,080
GOKU: Hey Garlic Jr.!

194
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,720
ALL: Hey Garlic Jr.!

195
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:40,600
Huh?

196
00:07:42,660 --> 00:07:44,380
GOKU: I am Son Goku!

197
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,360
And your name sounds yummy!

198
00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:47,760
GARLIC JR.: I have been told.

199
00:07:47,940 --> 00:07:49,060
GOKU: So, uh...

200
00:07:49,060 --> 00:07:50,500
did you guys steal my kid?

201
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:51,020
GINGER: Yep!

202
00:07:51,020 --> 00:07:52,900
F*cking Amber Alert up in here!

203
00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:55,700
CINNAMON: Ah, don't worry about him, he's just high in the throne room.

204
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:58,480
GOKU: Joke's on you! I can fly!

205
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,180
GINGER: I think he's f*cking dumb.

206
00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:03,740
Rrrraaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!

207
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,780
GARLIC JR.: And then there's THIS asshole...

208
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:11,260
KAMI: Oh. Hello, Goku. What are you doing here?

209
00:08:11,260 --> 00:08:12,260
GOKU: They stole my kid.

210
00:08:12,260 --> 00:08:13,040
KAMI: Hmm.

211
00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,420
GARLIC JR.: I'm surprised you're still alive Kami.

212
00:08:15,420 --> 00:08:19,000
I believe the last time we talked was... oh , when was that?

213
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:19,960
Oh, right.

214
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:23,220
When you banished my father to another dimension!

215
00:08:23,460 --> 00:08:26,520
KAMI: Oh, Garlic Jr., how awful to see you again.

216
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,100
You're looking grotesque as always.

217
00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:30,680
GARLIC JR.: Oh hi there, Kettle. Name's Pot. Have we met?

218
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,220
KAMI: Listen, Goku. Just go after your son.

219
00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:34,780
I'll handle Garlic Jr.

220
00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:35,880
GOKU: Thank God!

221
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:36,580
KAMI: You're welcome.
[You're not Beerus.]

222
00:08:38,620 --> 00:08:39,680
GINGER: Catch that bitch!

223
00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:40,940
CINNAMON: Slow your roll, champ!

224
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:42,960
PEPPER: Yo, wait for me! I'm bigger than y'all!

225
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:48,260
GOKU: (panting)

226
00:08:48,260 --> 00:08:51,440
Man, left in such a hurry, I accidentally skipped lunch.
(How would she have helped?)

227
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,700
Maybe this place has a cafeteria.

228
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,720
No, it's a castle.

229
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,360
A meatery?

230
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,380
GINGER: Want some food? We can hook you up.

231
00:09:00,380 --> 00:09:02,380
How about some motherf*ckin ginger?!

232
00:09:02,380 --> 00:09:04,340
CINNAMON: Or maybe some cinnamoooon?!

233
00:09:04,380 --> 00:09:06,580
PEPPER: I got some pepper for you. You like pepper?

234
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:09,920
GOKU: Hey, those aren't foods. Those are things you put on foods!

235
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,620
GINGER: Like gingerbread?!

236
00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:13,620
CINNAMON: Or cinnabuuuns?!

237
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,640
PEPPER: I got nothing. Umm...
(Pepperoni?)

238
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,500
EGGS!!
(Not really contradicting him there...)

239
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,320
GOKU: OK, now you're just making me hungry.

240
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,460
And you wouldn't like me when I'm--

241
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,340
... hungry.

242
00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:36,920
GARLIC JR.: So Kami, you mad that I tried to have you killed?

243
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,740
KAMI: More confused why you'd target Piccolo instead of me.

244
00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:41,000
Not that it matters.

245
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,760
I'm going to put you down for good, not unlike I did your father, you miserable little--

246
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:46,960
GARLIC JR.: And I will enjoy watching you fail.

247
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,060
Because you see, before you arrived, I used the

248
00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:52,800
Dragonballs to grant myself immortality.

249
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,720
Bah hahahahaha!

250
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,720
KAMI: Wait, so you tried to have me killed,

251
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:58,240
THEN use the Dragonballs?

252
00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,320
GARLIC JR.: Eh, what?

253
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:00,920
Yeah, uh, why?

254
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:02,500
Oh shit.

255
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:04,580
Wow, I dodged a bullet on that one!

256
00:10:04,660 --> 00:10:06,660
Thank God my minions are so incompetent!

257
00:10:11,260 --> 00:10:13,360
GOKU: Now tell me where the meatery is!

258
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,100
And then the throne room.

259
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,620
Please tell me the meatery is IN the throne room.

260
00:10:20,780 --> 00:10:21,520
Huh?

261
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:25,280
Here I come to save the daaaaay!!

262
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:26,680
KRILLIN: Hey Goku!

263
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:27,820
Looks like you could use some help.

264
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,420
GOKU: Not really, no.

265
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,400
Hey, Krillin.

266
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,080
Is that a second power beam?

267
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:32,840
PICCOLO: Sup.

268
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:33,600
KRILLIN: Waaah!!

269
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,200
GOKU: Oh hey, Piccolo!

270
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,240
GINGER: You alive?!

271
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,220
GOKU: Well, of course he's alive!

272
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,320
Kami's alive.

273
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:42,200
I mean, you guys have used the Dragonballs, right?

274
00:10:42,780 --> 00:10:44,780
EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR: Oh wow, yeah, thank God we incompetent!

275
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:48,640
PICCOLO: Not even gonna lie, this is EXACTLY what I'm looking for in a castle.

276
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,700
Walls, ceiling, meatery...

277
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:51,340
GOKU: Where?!

278
00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,280
PICCOLO: Could do without the spice rack though.

279
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:55,660
KRILLIN: Uuuhh...

280
00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:56,220
Huh?!

281
00:10:56,940 --> 00:10:57,860
Huh?

282
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,820
KRILLIN: WHYYYYY??!! (gurgling)
[WHY DID YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH!?]

283
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:12,440
GARLIC JR.: WHERE!

284
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:13,360
IS!

285
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:14,300
YOUR!

286
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:15,320
GOD!

287
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:16,360
NOW?!
[Sleeping.]

288
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:17,280
KAMI: Aaahh!!
[Sleeping.]

289
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:20,200
[Sleeping. We'll see him again in about 17 years.]

290
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:23,840
GARLIC JR.: So, Kami, why don't you pray for your life?

291
00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:26,600
And then, like every person who's ever prayed to you,

292
00:11:26,940 --> 00:11:28,460
I'll ignore it.

293
00:11:30,020 --> 00:11:31,920
KAMI: Rrrraaaaaahhh!!!

294
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:38,000
GARLIC JR.: Of course, you know this means war!

295
00:11:38,660 --> 00:11:39,820
GOKU: Gohan!

296
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,940
Krillin, I take back what I said!

297
00:11:43,940 --> 00:11:45,060
Get my son!

298
00:11:45,180 --> 00:11:47,180
KRILLIN: Woohoo! I'm helping!

299
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:49,720
Aaahh!!

300
00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:50,960
PEPPER: Imma break your butt!

301
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,740
Haaaaaaaa--

302
00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:54,620
Aaaaaaaahh!!

303
00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:56,560
KRILLIN: Oh, thank God he's on our side!

304
00:11:56,740 --> 00:11:58,820
PICCOLO: I was aiming for the short, bald one, but...

305
00:11:58,820 --> 00:11:59,960
you'll do.

306
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,080
Ow! You mean!

307
00:12:04,020 --> 00:12:07,400
PICCOLO: Not so tough without your two backup dancers, are you, ugly?

308
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,060
PEPPER: Now why you gotta be throwing out mean words like that?

309
00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:11,120
PICCOLO: Y'know, that's fair.

310
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:14,220
How 'bout I grab a couple of friends and try to murder you instead?

311
00:12:14,220 --> 00:12:16,740
PEPPER: Well, personally, I think that would be uncalled for.

312
00:12:19,220 --> 00:12:20,240
PICCOLO: You're right.

313
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,620
Because, unlike you...

314
00:12:22,220 --> 00:12:23,620
PEPPER: Aaahh!!

315
00:12:23,620 --> 00:12:25,280
PICCOLO: ...I don't need help.

316
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,140
GINGER: Hehehehe!

317
00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:28,460
CINNAMON: Ha!

318
00:12:28,460 --> 00:12:30,620
GOKU: Oh, c'mon, you guys! That's not fair!

319
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:32,720
I can't pull swords out of MY body!

320
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,520
CINNAMON: STAND STILL AND YOU WILL!!!

321
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,140
GOKU: No.

322
00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:35,640
No!

323
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:36,140
NO!

324
00:12:36,140 --> 00:12:36,640
NO!!

325
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:37,140
NO!!!

326
00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:37,640
NO!!!!

327
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:39,740
No! My do!

328
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:41,640
Stranger danger!

329
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:44,780
GINGER: That shit gets longer?!

330
00:12:44,780 --> 00:12:46,320
CINNAMON: Oooh yeah it does!

331
00:12:46,540 --> 00:12:47,440
GOKU: Goku Kick!

332
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,560
GINGER: Aaaahhh!!

333
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,780
GOKU: Ka...me...ha...me...

334
00:12:50,780 --> 00:12:51,920
GINGER: YOU AIN'T GOT SHIT!!

335
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:53,860
GOKU: HAAA!!!

336
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,180
CINNAMON: Friggin' hell.

337
00:12:55,180 --> 00:12:57,620
Last time I take on a guy with a pole THAT big.

338
00:12:57,620 --> 00:12:59,060
GINGER: INCOMIIIING!!!

339
00:12:59,060 --> 00:13:00,980
CINNAMON: OH MY GOD!!!

340
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:07,100
GINGER: What a...

341
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:09,680
...a douchebag...

342
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,340
Blehhhh...

343
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:18,040
GARLIC JR.: What's wrong, Kami? Fallen and can't get up?

344
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,660
Do I need to push that big red button for you?

345
00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:21,780
KAMI: Aahhh...

346
00:13:22,420 --> 00:13:24,420
GARLIC JR.: OK, you're making this weird, Kami.

347
00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:26,980
KAMI: We'll see how that immortality works out for you

348
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,200
when I've blown us both into bits!

349
00:13:30,340 --> 00:13:32,880
GARLIC JR.: Oh really? You want to stress test this?

350
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:37,160
Sure, go ahead. And while my men are scraping little green chunks off the wall,

351
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,800
I'll be partying in my throne room with a harem of sexy

352
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:40,660
demon skanks.

353
00:13:41,060 --> 00:13:44,180
Seriously, what part of "immortality" don't you understand?

354
00:13:44,180 --> 00:13:45,920
PICCOLO: Actually, I'm with him.

355
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:49,040
Imma have to ask you NOT to blow yourself up right now.

356
00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:52,320
GARLIC JR.: Well, well, it seems you've eluded my men.

357
00:13:52,580 --> 00:13:54,260
PICCOLO: Yeah, sure, let's go with that.

358
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,320
GARLIC JR.: Oh God, they're all dead, aren't they?
[That's surprising?]

359
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:56,980
GOKU: Yep.

360
00:13:56,980 --> 00:13:59,120
Thank goodness they were so incontinent.

361
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,380
GARLIC JR.: Looks like if you want someone killed right...

362
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:03,560
...you kill them yourself.

363
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:05,140
PICCOLO: Ooh, I might use that...
GARLIC JR.: Rrrraaaaahhh!!!
[He doesn't.]

364
00:14:05,140 --> 00:14:07,340
Raaahhh!!!

365
00:14:08,660 --> 00:14:09,220
GOKU: Huh.

366
00:14:09,220 --> 00:14:12,580
For a second there, I swore he was gonna yell out "spaghetti" or something--

367
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:16,580
GARLIC JR.: EeeYAH!

368
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,860
GOKU: Kami! Stay here and don't move!

369
00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:26,560
KAMI: I swear if I didn't know you, I'd call you a smartass.

370
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,880
PICCOLO: Rrrraaaaaaahhh!!!

371
00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:30,700
GARLIC JR.: Hehehe.

372
00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:33,840
Been bulking up since I installed the meatery.

373
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,440
GOKU: WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?!

374
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,360
WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?!

375
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:38,960
GARLIC JR.: I'm sure you can find one

376
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,220
IN HELL!!

377
00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:45,180
KRILLIN: (to Tetris theme) Crap! Crap!Crap!Crap!

378
00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:47,560
Crap!Crap!Crap! Crap!Crap!Crap! Crap!Crap!Crap!

379
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,920
Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap! AAHH!!

380
00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:00,720
GARLIC JR.: TOOT TOOT!!

381
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:01,280
GOKU: Aahh!

382
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:03,480
PICCOLO: Er, my wrist!

383
00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:07,100
It doesn't hurt a lot, but it's DEFINITELY uncomfortable.

384
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:08,800
Maybe I should get a wrist brace or--

385
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,800
GARLIC JR.: PAIN TRAIN'S COMING!!

386
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:11,800
PICCOLO: Ah!
GOKU: Hey, Piccolo!

387
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,140
GARLIC JR.: Next stop?!

388
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:16,580
ROCK BOTTOM!!

389
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:18,780
GOKU: (muffled) I get it!

390
00:15:21,060 --> 00:15:22,880
That's it, taking off my clothes!

391
00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:25,360
PICCOLO: Wait, why would you even BRING your weighted gi?

392
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:26,440
GOKU: Why would YOU?

393
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,580
PICCOLO: Because I don't have a house to LEAVE them in!

394
00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:32,360
GOKU: Why don't you just buy a house with the Ox King's money?

395
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,360
PICCOLO: What world do you live in?!

396
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:35,320
GOKU: One with a house.

397
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:36,500
And a wife.

398
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:37,700
And a son.

399
00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:40,740
PICCOLO: I really don't care for you right now.
[Well, he *did* kill your dad.]

400
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:43,940
Rrrraaaaaaaaaahhh!!!

401
00:15:43,940 --> 00:15:45,560
GARLIC JR.: Give me your best sh--

402
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:46,340
Eerrrr!!!

403
00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:48,560
GOKU & PICCOLO: Rrrraaaaaaaaaahhh!!!

404
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,820
GARLIC JR.: Aaaaahh!!!

405
00:15:57,380 --> 00:15:59,440
GOKU: And that's the way the garlic crumbles.

406
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:01,340
KAMI: You do realize he's immortal?

407
00:16:01,340 --> 00:16:02,980
PICCOLO: Pretty sure you chop garlic.

408
00:16:02,980 --> 00:16:06,140
KAMI: Seriously. He wished for immortality before you showed up.

409
00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:08,940
GOKU: Either way, I'd call this another win for Goku!

410
00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:11,260
PICCOLO: Excuse me? That was MY kill.

411
00:16:11,260 --> 00:16:12,840
KAMI: He's going to get up at any moment.

412
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,380
He's got this technique too and it's--

413
00:16:14,380 --> 00:16:17,040
GOKU: Piccolo, it's not a competition

414
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,360
I already won.

415
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,240
KAMI: You can still sense him! He's not--

416
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,160
PICCOLO: I am going to wear your entrails as sweatpants!

417
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:27,000
KAMI: I can literally SEE the debris shaking!

418
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,180
PICCOLO: Rrraaahhh!!!

419
00:16:28,180 --> 00:16:29,580
GOKU: Hyaaaa!!!

420
00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:33,420
GARLIC JR.: I AM ONE HUNDRED AND TEN PERCENT DONE!!!

421
00:16:33,740 --> 00:16:37,600
RRRAAAAAHHH!!!

422
00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:54,060
This is the Dead Zone!

423
00:16:54,060 --> 00:16:58,080
The same dimension you banished my dear father to, Kami!

424
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:01,160
KAMI: So is that how your father receives conjugal visits?!

425
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,120
GARLIC JR.: Eat a dick, you wrinkled green dustbin!

426
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:08,620
PICCOLO: No! My castle!

427
00:17:09,420 --> 00:17:11,420
GOKU: Hey, Piccolo! He's not dead!

428
00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:12,820
PICCOLO: Yeah, how about that?!

429
00:17:12,820 --> 00:17:14,480
KAMI: Yeah! How about that?!

430
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:15,580
PICCOLO: Well then...

431
00:17:15,580 --> 00:17:17,360
This victory is MINE!

432
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:20,300
GOKU: You want I should take a turn?

433
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:21,240
PICCOLO: Shove it, Goku!!

434
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,500
KRILLIN: Ugghhh...

435
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:24,040
Huh?

436
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,220
OH GOD NO!!!

437
00:17:25,220 --> 00:17:27,760
GARLIC JR.: Everyone is getting sucked today!

438
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:28,580
Demons!

439
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:29,360
Humans!

440
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:31,080
And gods alike!

441
00:17:31,380 --> 00:17:34,000
It's even sucking up your children!

442
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,280
GOHAN: LEAVE MY DADDY ALONE!!!

443
00:17:39,260 --> 00:17:40,020
GARLIC JR.: Huh?

444
00:17:40,020 --> 00:17:41,040
GOKU: Gohan?!

445
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,700
Krillin!! You had ONE job!!

446
00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:45,820
GARLIC JR.: Oh-ho, how cute!

447
00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:49,220
And what is the four-year-old going to do to stop me--

448
00:17:49,220 --> 00:17:51,100
GOHAN: Rrrraaahhh!!!!
GARLIC JR.: Ahh!

449
00:17:51,540 --> 00:17:53,860
(glass shattering)

450
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:06,680
GOHAN: Huh?

451
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:07,540
Daddy!

452
00:18:07,540 --> 00:18:08,460
GOKU: Hey, son!

453
00:18:08,460 --> 00:18:09,520
GOHAN: What happened?

454
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:10,440
GOKU: I dunno.

455
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:11,600
I think I won.

456
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,240
GOHAN: You're the best, daddy!

457
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:14,140
GOKU: Uh-huh!

458
00:18:14,380 --> 00:18:16,420
Now let's go han, Go-home.

459
00:18:16,420 --> 00:18:18,740
It's almost time for dickfast.

460
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:24,640
PICCOLO: I'm gonna steal that kid!

461
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:31,120
NARRATOR: And so, the brave Son Goku and his son defeated the evil Garlic Jr.,

462
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:33,940
with the help of Piccolo, Kami,

463
00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:36,900
and the greatest ally known to mankind,

464
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:40,160
the sex master and kung-fu legend,

465
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,420
KRILLIN: KRILLIN!!!

466
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:43,700
??? [via phone]: Yeah, OK, so I'm gonna have to stop you right there.

467
00:18:44,020 --> 00:18:45,220
First question.

468
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:47,280
Why would he summon the Dead Zone?

469
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,140
The only thing that could defeat him?

470
00:18:49,140 --> 00:18:50,980
KRILLIN: OK, y'know, I wrote myself into a corner

471
00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:52,460
with that whole immortality thing.

472
00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:54,820
Pretty much regretted it immediately after.

473
00:18:54,820 --> 00:18:55,980
???: Second question.

474
00:18:55,980 --> 00:18:57,300
And I mean no offense...

475
00:18:57,620 --> 00:18:59,540
Why exactly were you there?

476
00:18:59,540 --> 00:19:02,220
KRILLIN: I do bring a certain humanistic edge to the setting.

477
00:19:02,220 --> 00:19:04,400
???: And WHY did you write yourself getting peed on?
[Good fucking question]
(Krillin, biggest perv in DBZ)

478
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:05,660
KRILLIN: The better question is...

479
00:19:05,660 --> 00:19:08,180
how much will you PAY me to get peed on?
(I thought you paid THEM for a golden shower?)

480
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,660
NAPPA: You're gonna go far in this business.

481
00:19:11,660 --> 00:19:12,700
KRILLIN: WOOHOO!!!

482
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:24,000
(Aww, Nappa lied to him)
[This is Vegeta all over again]

483
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,000
(Aww, Nappa lied to him)
[This is Vegeta all over again]
{The Prince, the planet or the King?}

484
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,000
[Yes.]