[Rest in Peace, you magnificent bastard.]
VOICEOVER: Hello. My name is Trunks. And this... is my story.
I mean, I was a baby during this part, so... the details are a little unclear.
GOHAN [off-screen]: Mom, what happened?!
CHI-CHI [o-s]: Your Dad is *dead*! (Again?)
CHI-CHI [o-s]: Your Dad is *dead*! *For good*! (If there was only a way to undo that)
GOHAN [o-s]: *Nooooooo*!
BABY TRUNKS: Dad dead! Dad dead! [Well, not yours...yet.]
TRUNKS [vo]: I am told those were my first words.
VEGETA: Son of a *bitch*!
BABY TRUNKS: Son bitch!
TRUNKS [vo]: And those were my second. [and yet he still ends up a pansy.]
GOHAN: But he just got back from his training!
GOHAN: But he just got back from his training! After getting back from Namek!
GOHAN: But he just got back from his training! After getting back from Namek! After *getting back* from his *training*!
GOHAN: But he just got back from his training! After getting back from Namek! After *getting back* from his *training*! *After being DEAD*!
GOKU'S GHOST: Byyyyye, soooon...! (And then he became best friends with Ghost Nappa.)
TRUNKS [vo]: And with the death of Goku, his family and friends were left to mourn...
for approximately six months. (More than enough time.)
[The Z-Fighters get their asses handed to them]
KRILLIN: Hey girl, how you—
KRILLIN: Hey girl, how you—WAAH!! MY EYES!! (Well that was... unnecessarily brutal.)
TRUNKS [vo]: Leaving the fate of the Earth... with little hope.
Over the next thirteen years, the Androids would destroy small town after small town, working their way up. (What happened to Buu?)
Maybe that's why we reacted the way we did.
DJ 1 [Radio Broadcast]: ...aaand welcome back, folks to TJ—
DJ 2 [RB]: —and the Wombat!
[The word "wombat" echoes while slowing down, followed by a woman saying, "Me so horny".]
TJ [RB]: Starting us off this hour with sports: The College Battleball Association has had to disband ENTIRELY.
WOMBAT [RB]: As most of its players and associate colleges have been destroyed by the Cyborgs. (That'll do it)
AUDIO CLIP [RB]: Ahahahahahaha, WIPEOUT! [Well, that's some dark humor.]
TJ [RB]: Speaking of which! In Cyborg News...(Please don't make stupid jokes)
[Audio clips of a child's laughter, gunshots, and a woman moaning]
WOMBAT [RB]: As we currently speak, Paprikaburg is under siege by the mechanical threat!
TJ [RB]: But on the brighter side — ♪ Wombat's getting married! ♪ Ha ha ha!
[Audio clips of cheering, wedding music, and a woman moaning]
WOMBAT [RB]: That's right! Unfortunately, my beloved fiancée resides in Paprikaburg...
and is probably, most certainly dying as we speak.(How are you not dead yet?)
[Audio clips of a collective "Aww" of disappointment, funeral music, and a woman moaning]
WOMBAT [RB]: But — silver lining — I'M SINGLE AGAIN! (Finally single, ready to mingle)
AUDIO CLIP [RB]: Oh, behave!
[Cheerful music plays before Bulma changes the channel to Daft Punk- Robot Rock]
BULMA: (Sigh) I miss country...
TRUNKS: Mom? Do you believe in destiny?
BULMA: I'm a scientist; so, no.
TRUNKS: Paprikaburg is only thirty miles from here. If I hurry, I could save someone.
BULMA: Or you could die like your father.
TRUNKS: Why do you say that every time I want to go fight them?
BULMA: Because YOU are 13, I'm 37, and I am all alone.
TRUNKS [vo]: My mother had been 37 for ten years... [LOL]
BULMA: No means no. End of discus—
Oh! No! Just, just fly away! That's fine! (Kids, am I right?)
'*God*... bless him...' (May Kami-Beerus-Kai-Guru-Oh be with him)
[People screaming and running]
CYBORG 17: Hey, 18! You keeping score?
CYBORG 18: *Why* would I be doing that?
17: (Scoffs) You said you would.
18: No, you said, "Hey, check this shit out!", then jumped in a car.
17: Aw, come on, sis! Is this about the shop earlier?
18: Oh, man, you wouldn't *believe* this haul!
This is why I love these little inner-city shops; they always have the best brands.
[17 destroys the inner-city shop]
What the hell?! Why did you blow it up?! They were giving me free clothes!
17: Didn't give me nothin'.
18: It was a woman's clothing store.
17: Hey, I'm perfectly secure. [Good to know.]
18: Is that why you dye your hair? [What's his natural hair color then?]
17: Tch, don't hate.
TRUNKS [vo]: I wasn't sure if I'd be able to do anything at all... but I had to at least try to stop their chaos.
Unfortunately... I was too late.
YOUNG TRUNKS: Damn it! I'm too late!
TRUNKS [vo]: But... as I walked the ruins of that demolished city...
a hero appeared, eh!
The hero of my time: Gohan! [Not as good as the Hero OF Time.]
And face-to-face with him, all I could say was...
YOUNG CRYBABY TRUNKS: Gohan They Keep Destroyun' Cities
'nd I donnohowdasto-opthe-em (And I don't know how to stop them)
Aanehvrybuddy's de-he-head (And everybody's dead)
TRUNKS [vo]: I believe it was profound.
YOUNG TRUNKS: You remember a time before this, Gohan...
What was it like?
GOHAN: Well... (Space Napole-Hitler did make aliens suffer)
When I was a toddler, my Uncle showed up, kidnapped me, and then Mr. Piccolo killed him and my Dad.
Then *Mr. Piccolo* kidnapped me, the Saiyans showed up, killed a bunch of people — including Mr. Piccolo...
then we went to Namek, a bunch more people died, we came back, then my Dad died *again*,
then all my friends died, and now everyone else is dying. (But somehow you survived all along)
YOUNG TRUNKS: But it was better, right?
GOHAN: ...No.
YOUNG TRUNKS: Well, I can help! I'm half-Saiyan, just like you!
GOHAN: I've got one, Mr. Piccolo...
THE HALF-SAIYAN TRUNKS: What?
GOHAN: I said from now on, you shall be my pupil... and you will call me Mr. Gohan!
YOUNG TRUNKS: Oh! OK. Would you like to stay for dinner, Mr. Gohan?
MR. GOHAN: Mr. Gohan would!
BULMA: Trunks, are you home?
Or should I change my dating profile from "Single Mother" to just "Single"? Because one gets more hits—
oh... Gohan! Long time no see!
MR. GOHAN: Bulma.
SINGLE MOTHER: *So*... *Gohan*... you staying the night? [......]
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
We got plenty of room here but, you know... no extra beds, so... [....really Bulma?]
we'll have to share... [At least she's not flirting with her son.]
[Awkward silence] (Well, he is an adult now)
MR. GOHAN: ...I'm good.
BULMA: Well, worth a shot. Who's hungry?
You wouldn't believe how hard it is to get produce nowadays. Luckily, we have our own greenhouses.
Don't ask me where I get the protein from, though. (Ooookay....)
MR. GOHAN: Can't talk; eating!
[Sounds of Mr. Gohan ̶h̶o̶o̶v̶e̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ eating]
BULMA: Oh, you are *just* like your father... [Sounds of Mr. Gohan ̶h̶o̶o̶v̶e̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ eating]
MR. GOHAN [mouth full]: In what regard?
BULMA: Well, you're strong, and brave, and look at you in that gi. [He also has a tardis for a stomach.]
MR. GOHAN: It was the only thing he left me. (Not even Nimbus, huh?) [or the Power Pole?]
BULMA: Aww, that's sweet.
TRUNKS [vo]: Over the next few weeks, Gohan would begin training me, focusing on making me a Super Saiyan like him.
His methods were...
dodgy. (Terrible)
MR. GOHAN: DODGE!
YOUNG TRUNKS: Aah-haa!
{SPLASH}
Help me, Mr. Gohan!
MR. GOHAN: FLY UP!
YOUNG TRUNKS: The whirlpool's too strong! I can't swim!
MR. GOHAN: *I said*, "FLY UP!"
YOUNG TRUNKS: Maybe... I can build a raft!(Did he forget he could fly?)
MR. GOHAN: (Frustrated groan) (Now he knows how Piccolo feel)
[Trunks coughing]
[LOL] ORPHEUS JR. (a crab): Bumba!
MR. GOHAN: Here. Clean yourself up.
You know, if you think I'm rough, you should have trained with Mr. Piccolo.
YOUNG TRUNKS: You really looked up to him, didn't you?
MR. GOHAN: Yeah. He was like the father I never had.
YOUNG TRUNKS: You know, speaking of dads... Mom never talks about mine...
You knew him, right? What was he like?
VEGETA: So what!? You think having a dad who's a Super Saiyan makes you better than me!?
VEGETA'S PUNCHING BAG: Ugh!
VEGETA: So what!? You think having a dad who's a Super Saiyan makes you better than me!? VEGETA'S PUNCHING BAG: Ugh! Ugh!
VEGETA: So what!? You think having a dad who's a Super Saiyan makes you better than me!? VEGETA'S PUNCHING BAG: Ugh! Ugh! Aah!
VEGETA: So what!? You think having a dad who's a Super Saiyan makes you better than me!? VEGETA'S PUNCHING BAG: Ugh! Ugh! Aah! Uuh!
VEGETA: So what!? You think having a dad who's a Super Saiyan makes you better than me!? VEGETA'S PUNCHING BAG: Ugh! Ugh! Aah! Uuh! Ugh!
VEGETA'S PUNCHING BAG: No-ho-ho...!
VEGETA: WRONG ANSWER! VEGETA'S PUNCHING BAG: Uuh! Aah! Uuh! (So it does?)
MR. GOHAN: ...he had a lot to prove. [That's one way of saying "he kept fucking us over"]
TRUNKS [vo]: Gohan would never talk much about his family. Apparently, his mother and grandfather lived alone in the woods.
OX KING: I'm home!
And I've got groceries! H-how are you doing, sweetheart?
CHI-CHI: I should be a grandmother, you know.
OX KING: Ohhh...
GRANDMA CHI-CHI: I should be a grandmother, with a Nobel Prize-winning son. But what am I?
A widow... with a son who never talks to me and is possibly dead.(He's not dead...yet) (But he never gonna win a Nobel prize)
(Good news is, there will be no more Nobel prize)
OX KING: You... y-y-you, uh...
GRANDMA CHI-CHI: So I'm just gonna sit here, and knit this baby sweater.
OX KING: So, uh... is dinner happening?
GRANDMA CHI-CHI: Will dinner bring my husband back!?
OX KING: Maybe...? [It probably would.]
TRUNKS [vo]: Gohan would continue pushing me harder and harder, day and night, to become a Super Saiyan. [All I wanna do is to see you turn into a Super Saiyan]
[Trunks yelling in the background] MR. GOHAN: That's it. Look at him, Mr. Piccolo — he's almost ready.(Who's he talking to?)
What do you think?
MR. PICCOLO: 'I think the only real training you'll ever get in this world... is on the battlefield.' [Welp, Gohan's gone nutty.]
MR. GOHAN: You're *right*! [And you'll be all *right* too in some minutes]
TRUNKS [vo]: The next day, the Cyborgs would attack Super World, eh.(Why not Super Mario World?)
WAGE SLAVE [loudspeaker]: Hello, and welcome to Super World! "Slogan pending!"
Please stay behind the line!
GUARD: Huh? E-e-e-excuse me, you two! Y-y-you can't cut the line!
18: Do... you not know who we are? [That's a very valid question.]
GUARD: If you'd like to get on the rides faster, we do have a Fast Pass system that's only 7900 zen--
uuh-hu-huh...!
18: This is why I hate theme parks.
[DED]
[Upbeat music] [17 and 18 enjoy the rides] {Who's running it?}
[Upbeat music] [People flee the park, screaming in terror]
[Upbeat music] [17 and 18 enjoy the rides]
Yeah, you know, when you can fly, these rides don't really seem that fun.
MR. GOHAN: Well, if you're already bored, why not try taking a ride on my fist? [Oh, My...]
[.....]
17: ...*Wow*. You, uh, want a minute to rephrase that there, chief? [Probably not when addressing it to 18.]
MR. GOHAN: Nope! I'd rather take that minute to kick your ass!
18: OK, now see, that's better.
MR. GOHAN: Now, Trunks, I want you to just sit back and spectate!
Unless they team up on me, in which case — jump in.
YOUNG TRUNKS: I can't help but feel like I'm woefully unprepared for this. [Just like Gohan in his youth.]
MR. GOHAN: And that's *exactly* what we prepared for!
TRUNKS [vo]: This would be my first real battle. And I'd never seen anyone fight so fiercely!
Gohan had always told his stories about the fights in the past...
but those had a lot more screaming and posturing, eh. [This fight doesn't due to not needing to power up.]
But, as soon as Gohan gained the upper hand...
17: Damn, he's pissed today!
18: You think it's his time of the month?
17: Ha! Ah, it's funny 'cause you're a chick!
YOUNG TRUNKS: Gohan! [Mr. Gohan to you]
[When you walk into the wrong neighborhood in Pokemon Go]
Stop it!
18: I can't believe you brought a kid to a battle!
Super irresponsible. [Learned from Goku]
TRUNKS [vo]: She wasn't wrong...
YOUNG TRUNKS: I'm not afraid of you! I can take care of you myself!
TRUNKS [vo]: I, however, was.
18: Now what do you think?
YOUNG TRUNKS [strained]: You hit like a girl!
18: (Sigh)... Well... you're not wrong.
MR. GOHAN: TRUNKS!
Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit!
18: Oh no, you don't!
[Explosions aplenty]
17: Well, shit. Think he got away?
18: I don't know; we can't sense life energy.
17: Seriously, what was the point of not giving us that ability?
Seems like an intentional design flaw if you ask me.
18: Oh well. Scorched Earth?
17 [o-s]: Scorched Earth.
MR. GOHAN: 'Ah, crapbaskets!'
Oww! Pain!
Oh, everything's in pain. Ugh, everything but my left ar--
[._.]
...aw, man!
Ugh, aagh, too bad I'm not a Namekian. Be reeaally handy right about now... [HANDY!]
'But I'll just settle on the next best thing and use the Senzu Beans!'
'Bean... singular.' ["Exactly what we prepared for!"]
Ah, well, that's disappointing...
[Typing] SINGLE MOTHER: Looking for... male...
[Typing] mid-to-late thirties...
[Typing] black spiky hair...
[Typing] not too tall... [Daaw, she misses Vegeta.]
[Typing] loves to work out. [Daaw, she misses Vegeta.]
TRUNKS: Hey, Mom?
BULMA: (Sigh) What is it, Trun—
BULMA: (Sigh) What is it, Trun—OH, MY GOD!
YOUNG TRUNKS: What do you know about reattaching arms?
...That I can't find? (Can't she build a robotic one?]
BULMA: Oh, sweetie. [-_-']
So... have you learned anything today?
YOUNG TRUNKS: The only good Cyborg is a dead Cyborg?
BULMA: (Sigh)... You really are your father's son...
TRUNKS [vo]: Now stronger and more motivated than ever, I was back to training as soon as Gohan was able again.
Though I think he was still a little... sore.
MR. GOHAN: Come on, Trunks! Just imagine losing someone or something close to you!
Like your arm! 'Cause trust me...
THAT REALLY FRIGGIN' SUCKS! [Not powerful enough to turn SSJ 2, eh?]
[Trunks vomits] {Mom's spaghetti}
Alright, take five.
TRUNKS [vo]: Unfortunately... I wouldn't transform in time.
YOUNG TRUNKS: So, Gohan — do you usually hang out in wastelands?
MR. GOHAN: What do you mean? This is where I live.
YOUNG TRUNKS: Oh...
...it's nice.
MR. GOHAN: I think you're really close, you know. You just need something to push you over the edge...
YOUNG TRUNKS: Well, you always tell me to use the pain of loss.
But... I've never really lost anyone.
MR. GOHAN: For me, it's my greatest source of anger.
I just think about losing Krillin or Mr. Piccolo--
YOUNG TRUNKS: Or your dad? [Or Yamcha?]
MR. GOHAN: Uh, yeah, sure.
And then it just builds up inside until finally... it explodes.
[Something explodes XD]
Yeah. Like that, only metaphorically.
YOUNG TRUNKS: The Cyborgs! Mr. Gohan, we have to go!
MR. GOHAN: No, Trunks! You stay here this time. We both know you're not ready.
YOUNG TRUNKS: Mr. Gohan, you only have one arm! What can you do with one arm?! [The destructo disk?]
MR. GOHAN: You know what? You're right. What can I do with only one arm?
YOUNG TRUNKS: Thank you, Mr. Gohan! I will not let you dow—
[Life-like karate chop action]
[Gohan gently lets Trunks down]
MR. GOHAN: *That*. I can do that with one arm.
'Now... what can I do to the *Cyborgs* with one arm...?'
MR. PICCOLO: 'Use the Makankōsappō!'
MR. GOHAN: 'You never taught me that.'
MR. PICCOLO: 'Uuuuse iiiiiit!'
["Man of Steel"-type property damage]
17: You know what? I'm bored.
18: Well, we could find another city.
17: No, I mean, like... bored of this whole "Great Destroyer" shtick, you know?
Destroying things, killing people... it's just boring.
[Someone dies] Destroying things, killing people... it's just boring.
18: Yeah, it's kinda lost its luster.
After you wipe an entire genre of music off the face of the Earth, what's left?
17: You know what I always wanted to do? Like, since before all this?
Be a Park Ranger. (TFS can see the futuuure)
18: You want to range a park?
[Oh, he ded.]
17: Hell yeah! Livin' outdoors, communicatin' with nature, shootin' poachers...
Yeah. I think I'ma do tha—
[Foot to the face] UUH!
GUH!
YOU GODDAMN CHEAP SON OF A BITCH!
[18 laughs]
18: He slapped your shit!
17: OK! You know what? That's it! I'm killing every human! (Goku Black would do it anyway)
Every.
One!
Then I'm gonna range the shit out of that park! [Wouldn't there be no parks with no people?
MR. GOHAN: Neither of you are leaving here alive! I'm stronger than I was before!
18: Yeah; also lighter. Looks like you dropped some weight since last time.
Five, ten pounds? I don't know; how much does an arm weigh? [~9 lbs (4 kg)]
[An arm weighs around 5% of total body weight] [NERDDD!] 17: Gotta hand it to you, though. [HAND! XD]
Pretty ballsy coming after us all asymmetrical like that.
But four hands are better than one.
Long story short:
You're gonna die.
MR. GOHAN: No! This isn't where my story ends!
TRUNKS [vo]: This is where Gohan's story ends.
MR. GOHAN: D'ugh-egh!
D'YAAAGH!
'Ahhh, well... this is it, Mr. Piccolo...'
'But at least we still have Trunks. I trained him just like you wanted.'
MR. PICCOLO [vo]: 'You know I'm not actually here, right?'
MR. GOHAN: 'Ah...'
MR. GOHAN: 'Ah... crapbaskets...'
"-and then he died, too."
YOUNG TRUNKS: —down! Huh?
Oh no...
[Ominous music]
[Shocked gasp]
[Music becomes sorrowful]
[he ded]
[Fusion!]
[Quiet whimpering and sobbing]
Gohan...
Gohan! [WHY DIDN'T YOU DOOOOODGE]
GOHAAAAAAN! [WHY DIDN'T YOU DOOOODGE]
[Angry screaming]
[More angry screaming]
[And boom goes the dynamite]
[Yet more angry screaming]
[Bravo, TFS.]
[Waiting for Ep. 60]
SLIGHTLY OLDER TRUNKS: Alright, Mom. I got the rest of the supplies for the Time Machine.
It's too bad Grandpa isn't here to help you build it.
BULMA: Yeah. Unfortunately, he's still off searching the cosmos for New Namek.
DR. BRIEF [o-s]: By *God*! Is that it?!
After all these—
GOD DAMMIT ALL!
BULMA: So until your Grandpa returns — just me.
RADIO: (Static) Hello! This is an emergency broadcast from Cuminopolis! [Why are all these cities named after spices?]
The Cyborgs are attacking! And they are sparing no one!
No one is saf—!
[Radio broadcast terminated]
TRUNKS: That's close to here.
BULMA: Trunks, I know what you're thinking, but let me just finish the Time Machine—
TRUNKS: We don't have *time* for that!
BULMA: That's what the *Machine* is for!
TRUNKS: Listen! I'm stronger now! I'm a Super Saiyan! [Vegeta yelling from another planet... and timeline] [It *could* be the same timeline. Same events could've happened till Goku's death.]
BULMA: So was Gohan, and look how that turned out! [Vegeta yelling from another planet... and timeline] [It *could* be the same timeline. Same events could've happened till Goku's death.]
TRUNKS: Oh, so now you're just replacing Dad with *Gohan*? [Vegeta yelling from another planet... and timeline] [It *could* be the same timeline. Same events could've happened till Goku's death.]
BULMA: Trust me, I *tried*! [Vegeta yelling from another planet... and timeline] [It *could* be the same timeline. Same events could've happened till Goku's death.]
[Disturbed silence, except for Vegeta's yelling (which fades out)]
TRUNKS: ...I'm going now.
BULMA: Be safe.
TRUNKS [vo]: And so, armed with the sword given to me by Tapion... which is a whole... other story... [Which doesn't even *begin* to make sense in this timeline.]
I raced off to fight the Cyborgs... one last time.
[Odd choice for a city location.]
[Olympics 2036]
[10] [10] [10]
18: We all wrapped up, then?
17: Yep! Looks like we're out of people to kill here.
TRUNKS: Why don't you try me?
17: Wait, did you just *ask* us to kill you? [Suicide rate must be at 0 if this is the first time they encountered someone asking for death.]
TRUNKS: N-no; a-as in "fight me", eh!
18: I'm sorry, do we know you?
TRUNKS: YES! You murdered my maste—
18: Oh wait, hold on...
I don't care. [At least she's honest.]
TRUNKS [vo]: To this day, I'm still not sure why I did what I did. [Blame Vegeta's genes.]
Maybe it was grief.
Maybe it was puberty.
Maybe, I just had something to prove. [Maybe you are just an idiot]
A young half-blood Super Saiyan, armed with nothing but a sword and his guts.
Unfortunately... half-human and half-Saiyan...
might just be analogous to half-brave, and half-stupid. [Oh, just wait until Xenoverse 2.]
TRUNKS: I...
I did it!
18 [o-s]: Hey! Doesn't he kinda remind you of you-know-who?
17 [o-s]: Now that you mention it, I do see the resemblance...
but unlike good ol' Righty, he's still got both arms.
18 [o-s]: Yeah... but not for long.
TRUNKS: 'Oh...'
TRUNKS: 'Oh... crapbaske—'
[Backfist to the future] GAH!
18: You lost, little boy?
TRUNKS [o-s]: Ohhh...
[Pained yells]
17: Hey, Sunshine. Cough if you're still alive.
[Violent coughing]
18: Good boy!
TRUNKS [strained]: Why? Why are you doing this?
17: The question isn't "Why?", kid. It's "Why not?"
18: I mean... who's going to stop us? [Hercule?]
17: Not those guys seventeen years ago. [BTW, since it's been 17 years, how has Beerus not shown up yet to find the Super Sayain God?]
18: Not ol' One-Arm. [BTW, since it's been 17 years, how has Beerus not shown up yet to find the Super Sayain God?]
17: And certainly not you. [BTW, since it's been 17 years, how has Beerus not shown up yet to find the Super Sayain God?]
TRUNKS: You...
TRUNKS: You...!
TRUNKS: You evil bunch of jerks, I'll kick your God damn...
17: Hu-ha-ha! TRUNKS: You evil bunch of jerks, I'll kick your God damn...
17: This is hilarious! TRUNKS: ...you killed my master...
18: Yeah! TRUNKS: ...you killed all those people...
18: Although now it's kind of annoying. TRUNKS: ...you killed all those people...
18: Although now it's kind of annoying. TRUNKS: WHY?
TRUNKS: WHY? WHY?
18: Now it's sad. TRUNKS: WHY? WHY? WHY?
18: Now it's sad. TRUNKS: WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?
TRUNKS: WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?
18: And now it's annoying again. TRUNKS: WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?
TRUNKS: Gah-huu--!
[More pain]
17: Wait a sec... this kid look familiar to you, sis?
18: Yeah...! He was at the amusement park with Stumpy!
17 [condescending]: Aww, who's a little survivor? You are! Yes, you are!
Let's fix that, shall we?
18: Dibs!
17 [o-s]: SIS! GET OUT OF THE—
[Boosh]
18 [o-s]: Did you just friggin' *blast* me?!
17 [o-s]: You stepped in *front* of it! What is *wrong* with you?!
18 [o-s]: NO-NO-TH-THAT'S IT! We're leaving!
17 [o-s]: Oh come on, *sis*! ...Sis, get back here!
TRUNKS [vo]: I still have *no idea* how I survived... 17 [o-s]: Oh come on, *Sis*! ...Sis, get back here!
BULMA: Trunks, sweetie? You waking up?
TRUNKS: Mom? Am I alive?
How long was I out?
BULMA: Well, I finished the Time Machine.
TRUNKS: Oh... is that long?
BULMA: Yeeeaah, which means you got two options:
You take another swing at the Cyborgs...
TRUNKS: [Groans in pain]
BULMA: Or you use the Time Machine to go save Goku.
TRUNKS [mumbling]: I wanna save Goku...
BULMA: *Trunks*...
TRUNKS [louder]: I want to save Idiot Hero, eh!
BULMA: Good boy!
TRUNKS [vo]: After recovering a few months, I was finally ready.
BULMA: Aww! My jacket looks so good on you. All the girls in the past are just gonna love it. [Including her.][In the past, she's also a girl, too...]
TRUNKS: Thanks, Mom.
So this is it! I can't believe I finally get to meet history's stupidest hero!
BULMA: Yeah... Goku might not be exactly how you think, so do temper your expectations.
TRUNKS: And Dad! I finally get to meet Dad!
BULMA: Oh shit, you do.
[LOL] TRUNKS: Huh?
BULMA: I mean, just be yourself, sweetie, and everything will turn out okay! [Seriously? You think that will work?]
TRUNKS: Alright, Mom. I'm off.
Next time you see me... this'll be a Cyborg-free world!
BULMA: Yup!
...Unless this actually operates on Multiverse Theory, in which case—
[Tardis sound effects] TRUNKS: Can't hear you, Mom; Time Machine!
[Tardis sound effects] BULMA: Bye, sweetie!
[Tardis sound effects fade out]
...Aaand Multiverse Theory it is.
Shit!
[Cue Back To The Future Theme]
[♫ "Doctor Chala" ♫]
[If you don't know what show this tune is based on, you should be ashamed of yourselves. ;)]
[If you don't know what show this tune is based on, you should be ashamed of yourselves. ;)] (Doctor Who, for those of you who aren't NERDS.)
[Just kidding.]
[Or are we?]
[...We are.]
[It's a great mash-up though, isn't it?]
[Flames]
[You gotta wonder if Trunks is sick from that Time Machine spinning around so much]
[How do you think that hole in the glass was made in the duplicate machine?]
[Static]
OOLONG [o-s]: Alright, they haven't been back in two days.
MASTER ROSHI [o-s]: I can't believe they took my house...
[I can't believe you're still alive...]
OOLONG: I'm going in for a food run. All that's left is the Spam and the pork rinds...
PUAR: We both knew this day would come, Oolong!
OOLONG: I have long since made peace with this. I'm just glad we're still alive.
MAS. ROSHI: All thanks to my submarine: The "U.S.S. M'Dick"!
Speaking of which...
OOLONG: Oh no...
MAS. ROSHI: I've been meaning to ask...!
OOLONG: Knew it, I friggin' knew it!
MAS. ROSHI: HOW DOES IT FEEL RIDING M'DICK!?! [Didn't see that comin' did ya?]
OOLONG: *Seventeen years*! Seventeen years you've been holding on to that one! [Oh, who am I kidding?]
MAS. ROSHI: You don't know the patience I have...
Didn't answer my question either.
OOLONG: It's tight and damp...
[The old pervert cackles (XD)]
PUAR [o-s]: We're gonna die in here... [The old pervert cackles (XD)]
[♫ Video game variant of "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]