ANDROID 17 [off-screen]: "-Folks I'm Android 13, look at mah trucker hat!"
GERO: I was going through a phase!
ANDROID 18 [o-s]: Well, let's say we open them up and get to know our new friend?
GERO: Don't you dare!
I am your master and you will do what I say!
17: I- I'm sorry, could you repeat that?
I think the ear thing's back.
GERO: I said, I am your master!
And you will do what I-
17: Sorry, doc...
GERO: GUUAAGGH...!
17: ...just following orders.
GERO: So...
...could one of you possibly spare one of those Senzu-
KRILLIN [o-s]: So, does this mean they're on our side?
TRUNKS [o-s]: YAAAAAGH!
[Explosion in background]
GERO: Well, guess it's a good thing I backed myself up into this supercomputer.
Have to thank Wheelo for that.
Now, what to do with the twins going rogue...
How is progress with plan B?
[weird noise]
That's another seventeen years out at least.
[sigh]
Well, guess it's time for plan C...
CHI-CHI: Touch those Thai silk curtains and I'll turn one of those hoop earrings into a septum ring!
GOHAN: Wow. Mom sure is set on filling up Korin and Yajirobe's wedding registry.
GOKU: But why do they need six crock pots?
And why all these (delicious-looking) bath bombs?
I don't even think they have a bathroom!
Korin always just told me to go over the side.
[Explosion and screams]
???: Excuse me, pardon me, coming through, watch the suit.
Man, everyone acting a fool...
Like they've never seen a purple dwarf before.
*static*
???: I know, right?! Racist as shit.
GOKU [mouth full]: Man, shopping makes me hungry!
GOHAN [deadpan]: Really, shopping makes you hungry? Only shopping?
GOKU: Mmhmm.
Speaking of, how'd your search go, guys?
KRILLIN: Not great. Turns out Master Roshi is banned from over five hundred Victoria's Secret locations.
I don't get it, how are you not on some kind of a list?
"MASTER ROSHI":You think "Master Roshi" is my real name?
GOHAN: Doesn't Victoria's Secret specialize in *women's* underwear?
Why would Korin and Yajirobe-
-Oh...
-Oh...ooooooh.
But which one wears them?
???: So whaddya think?
*static*
???: Nah.
But we can.
GOHAN: Hey, so, not to point out the obvious, but, the restaurant is shaking.
GOKU: Huh? Ehh...
GOHAN: Aww, crapbask- KRILLIN: Aww, crapbask- TRUNKS: Aww, crapbask-
CHI-CHI: Why can't we go anywhere as a group without something blowing up?
GOKU: Probably not my fault this time, maybe...
Terrorists!
Wait, I can't sense them...
Androids!
Androiderists!
Terroroids!
Guys, we got a bad case of terroroids!
GOHAN: C'mon, Mom!
CHI-CHI: No! One of the crock pots!
GOKU: So, you guys aren't orgasmic...
Who are you? Red Ribbon?
I mean, you've got it on your red Red Ribbon ribbon...
...but, you know what they say about assuming:
It makes an ass out of you and ming.
???: Scan complete.
This guy's dumb as bricks.
[Static]
GOKU: Say wha..?
???: Oh right, your unrefined meatbag ears probably don't understand him.
He's introducing himself as Android 14.
I am Android 15.
And you...
And you...are Goku.
GOKU: AAAAAHHHH!
ANDROID 15: And now you're dead!
OK, *rude*!
TRUNKS: Goku! Move!
GOKU: Oh, right.
TRUNKS: You know, maybe we shouldn't do this here.
GOKU: OOH! OOH!
I know a place!
GOHAN: Krillin, we should go after them!
KRILLIN: Should we?
GOHAN: Yes!
KRILLIN: Okay, but MUST we?
GOHAN: Well, you can come with me,
or, you can stay here with my Mom.
CHI-CHI: AAAAAAAAAGH!
KRILLIN: We must! We must! CHI-CHI: AAAAAAAAAGH!
GERO: Update complete.
Now activating number 13...
ANDROID 13 [in a Deep South accent]: Mighty kind o' you, Doctor.
GERO: For crying out loud, we just finished patching that!
13: Doc, you can't fix what ain't broke!
Now...
Now...where's
Now...where's my
Now...where's my trucker
Now...where's my trucker hat?
[Banjo Version of "Imperial March" plays]
TRUNKS: No offense Goku, but...
...why the Arctic?
GOKU: What? You're fine, you've got a jacket.
TRUNKS: Well yeah, but there are more deserts than we can count, and you chose the Arctic!
GOKU: Uh, y-you got a jacket...
15: My database says:
You's a bitch!
TRUNKS: I doubt that's what it actually sa-
TRUNKS: I doubt that's what it actually sa-AGH!
[grunting]
GOKU: Trunks!
Your jacket is weighing you down!
Huh? Wah!
[grunts]
TRUNKS: Hey Goku,
if and when we make it out of this,
please don't tell my father there were two more Androids.
13 [o-s]: Uh, to be fair, you'd'a been wrong anyway...
13 [o-s]: Uh, to be fair, you'd'a been wrong anyway...'cause there's three!
TRUNKS: Aaaauugh!
13: Howdy, there! I'm Android 13.
Look at mah trucker hat.
GOKU: Look-y Trunks! More 'roids.
TRUNKS: You're kidding me!
Are there any more of you that we don't know about?
13: Nah, just us...
...plus the green one in the sub-lab.
TRUNKS: Enough!
I have had it with these monkey-fighting Androids,
In this Monday-to-Friday timeline!
AAAUUGH!
13: Well son, looks like thirteen is your unlucky number.
GOKU: I don't believe in stuperstitions!
13 [incredulous]: ...How in the blazes did Gero have so much trouble killing you?
GOKU: I'm very stubborn.
13: Hmm.
GOKU: Oh hey, he's actually really strong.
WAAAHHH!
[Underwater] WAAAHHHHH
13: Careful, son! You might catch a death of cold!
GOKU: Catch *this* cold!
13: My trucker hat!
Ya plum done gone daggone did it now, son.
GOKU: Who and the wha-
AAAAAHHHH!
(Ah.)
(Hope Trunks is having better luck.)
TRUNKS: HI-YAH!
Aw, why did I even bring this?!
(Wait, why DID I bring this?)
(We were shopping before-)
Augh!
15: A'ight 14, give it back.
TRUNKS: [Startled squeal]
13: Hmm.
YAH!
Ya can't dodge my T.H. Deathbomb!
GOKU: Does the "T.H." stand for-
13: TRUCKER HAT, yes!
GOKU: Not my first guess.
WAUGH!
GERO: Yes! YES!
This is my moment!
Oh, what now!?
Wuh?
AWAKENED EVIL: For thousands of years, I laid dormant!
WHO HAS DISTURBED MY-
GOKU: Hey, best buddy!
VEGETA: Oh, it's you.
Explain, idiot.
TRUNKS: No no NO!
GOKU: We found three more Androids.
TRUNKS: Da-a-mmit!
VEGETA: Three whole Androids, huh?
Pretty sure that makes *eight*.
Hmm, never letting the boy live this one down.
13: Well, if it ain't the Prince!
Good day, your Majesty!
I'd tip my hat to ya,
BUT I LOST IT!
VEGETA: Look, I'm a little late to the game here, what's your deal?
13: See here,
The kind Dr. Gero deemed us, in his own words,
"Defective."
Leaving us on the proverbial shelf until, well...
...he gone plum run outta options.
GOKU: So, what's your detective?
13: He could not quite tolerate my dulcet tones,
13: He could not quite tolerate my dulcet tones, my choice in vernacular,
and my particular method of...
13: He could not quite tolerate my dulcet tones, my choice in vernacular, and my particular method of...ar-ti-cu-lation.
GOKU: Also, you talk funny.
What 'bout him?
[Static]
VEGETA: Alright, but what about the small one?
Is it 'cause he's purple?
13: Okay, racist, if ya must know;
it's 'cause he's got a drinking problem.
15 [o-s]: Hey, it's only a problem when I run out!
13: We don't like to talk about it.
Now!
I believe we have some business to attend to!
Id Est, layin' three corpses upon this here glacier.
14!
15!
15: You got it, boss man!
You forget you saw this.
13: Round two, Fleshlights™!
TRUNKS: [Grunts]
KRILLIN: So, we just needed to be here didn't we?
GOHAN: Yeah, OK...
KRILLIN: Couldn't even stop for a jacket!
Just had to *beeline* it for the Arctic.
GOHAN: OK, Krillin, I get it! We're not helping.
I just...
...needed some space from my Mom.
KRILLIN: Eh, it's all right.
Wanna have a snowball fight?
GOHAN: Probably not a good time...
KRILLIN: No, no, you-you're right.
VEGETA: AAAaaahhhh!
Ooophh!
HEY!
WANNA SEE SOMETHING COOL?!
15: Yeah, OK.
VEGETA: YEEAAAAAAUUUUGHH....
...YAAAAAAAUUUUGH!
TRUNKS: (Oh right.)
(Super Saiyan.)
AAAAAAUUUUUGH!
GOKU: Oh, right...
Super Saiyan.
GAAAAAUUGH!
GERO: Oh shit...
GERO: Oh shit...Super Saiyan.
GAAAAAAAHHH!
GOHAN: Uh, why did it take them so long to do that?
KRILLIN: You know, I stopped asking that question a long time ago.
VEGETA: So, are you ready to die, Android?
Are-
Are you-
Does that even do anything for you?
15: Not anymore...
Oh, God!
KRILLIN: That's right Goku, send him back to Arkansas!
13 [o-s]: It's pronounced "Ar-kansas", ya idjit.
GOHAN: And consider my pet peeved!
GOHAN: Piccolo, help!
Holy cow, that worked!
2ND AWAKENED EVIL: For thousands of years, I laid dormant!
Who has disturbed my-
PICCOLO: Oh hey, Goku, what's up?
GOKU: Androids.
PICCOLO: Neat! Mind if I take a spin?
13: Ah Ah AH HOO HOOOOO!
GOKU: Ah, 'cause you spun him around.
13 [o-s]: Ow!
GOKU: Clever.
PICCOLO: Thanks, I was practicing that one under the ice for the last half-
You know what, never mind.
13: Now, I don't mean to make this about your color or your race,
but you'd better hightail it out of here before you get hurt, BOY.
PICCOLO: You know, it feels like it's about *both* those things when you end it with the word "boy".
15: C'mon short-stack. That the best you got?
Ha haa! Super Saiyan or not, you're still just a-
Bitch!
Did you just throw a mothaf***in DO-
[static]
VEGETA: Looks like the countdown's just about over you redneck... uhhh...
TRUNKS: Hey guys! I did that thing again where I slice my opponent in two and they don't react until-
VEGETA: I did it first, you're not special!
TRUNKS [o-s]: B-but you don't even have a sword...
13: 14 and 15 have been destroyed?!
Goooood!
PICCOLO: I feel like we should be stopping this.
GOKU: Nah, I want a good fight!
KRILLIN: He's 'roiding out!
GERO [o-s]: Excellent.
Android 13 has reached his ultimate, final, pinnacle form!
Unstoppable!
Blue!
And completely taciturn.
SUPER ANDROID 13: Hurrrgh!
GERO [o-s]: Perfect!
GOKU: Vegeta, he stole your 'do!
VEGETA: I'll kill him!
Ah!
Oh no...
[screaming]
TRUNKS: I got you fath-AAHH!
VEGETA: Hahahahahahaha.
[grunt]
Idiot.
Someone stupid get in my way!
KRILLIN: What the--?
KAMI AND NAIL: BOOM-CHIKA-AH
BOOM-CHICKA-AH
BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM
GREEN D-
PICCOLO: (What are you doing?)
KAMI: (We're trying to amp you up!)
PICCOLO: (Well, it's distracting!)
ALL: (Oh shit mothaf*cka!)
GOKU: My turn!
GERO: Weakness... identified!
13: Hurrgh!
GOKU: Hey, what are ya-
-AGH!! [fading echo]
[Several years later...]
GOHAN: All right, Goten,
it's your job to chuck these as hard as you can
so I can be all trained up to face off against Dad in the tournament!
Now stand behind that line and-
Goten?
(What was I doing here?)
[...back to the present]
GOKU: AAAAAAAAUGH-
[faint screeching]
[high pitched] He punched me in the dick!
Why?!
Why did he punch me in the dick?!
VEGETA [snarky]: Not so funny now, is it, Kakarot?
KRILLIN: Is Goku gonna be okay?
VEGETA: Get the f*** off me!
GOKU: N-now I know what you're thinki-
AUUUGH!
[grunting]
And the answer may surpri-
(Aw man...)
EEEEEEE!
GOHAN: Hey! Why don't you pick on someone your own size?
Ehhh... well, clearly not me.
(Welp, if you can't beat 'em...)
(Bomb 'em.)
Eh, maybe one of those battleball players?
I mean, not that I watch sports, I have better things to do with my life.
I feel like this is a one-sided conversation.
[growling]
GERO [o-s]: 13, if you'd kindly turn around ,and eliminate Son Goku...
[growling]
13: RRRAUGH!
GOHAN: Dad, no!
BBLUUAUUGH!
GOKU: Good job, son!
GERO [o-s]: Hmm, unexpected, but not altogether unpleasant.
Let's try again shall w-?
GOKU: Ow!
VEGETA: Nobody is killing that idiot but me!
GOKU [o-s]: Aw, you *do* care.
GERO [o-s]: Agh, fine, finish off Vegeta,
Then Son Goku.
[Squeak]
[Vegeta screaming]
NARRATOR: And that's when the Prince realized that when you grab a bull by the horns,
sometimes, he'll take you for a ride.
{THWACK} [Vegeta screaming]
GOKU: Keep it up guys! You're doing great!
[Vegeta screaming]
GERO [o-s]: Yes, good, now hurry up and get back to So-
Oh my non-existent God!
TRUNKS: Hey! You big blue bastard!
I'm a time traveler from 17 years in the future.
And you don't exist there. You know why?
Well, besides multiverse theory, it's because you die, right here, by my sword!
NARRATOR: And that's when the Time Traveler realized that his sword was about as useless...
...as a screen door on a submarine.
[Trunks screaming]
[whistling Mahna Mahna]
GERO [o-s]: Good! Great! Now stop playing around with the rabble and focus your efforts on killing So-
GERO [o-s]: Good! Great! Now stop playing around with the rabble and focus your efforts on killing So--n of a whore!
NARRATOR: And that's when the Green Man realized that when you suplex a robot,
you better...
Oh, what the hell am I doing?
*footsteps receding*
SUPER ANDROID 13: BWUU YOO YOO YOO YOO YOO YOO YOO YOO RAWHARAA!﻿ (Credit goes to yushnizzo)
KRILLIN: Oh right.. Spirit Saiyan...
What?
GERO [o-s]: Kill Son Goku! Kill Son Goku!
Kill Son Goku before it's too late!
[Goku screaming]
GERO [o-s]: Oh, this bodes poorly...
Jesus Christ!!!!!!!
NARRATOR: And that's when the robot realized that he was as dead as a...
Robot.
Because robots are technically not alive by the traditional definition of-
D'these people even give a damn anymore?
[scoffs]
I swear they stopped tryin' after Season 2.
[Goku screaming]
[Super Android 13 screaming]
[explosion]
MASTER ROSHI: Heeellloooo nurse!
KRILLIN: Man, catching Vegeta really f***ed my shit up!
How about you, Goku?
You seem fine.
GOKU: Yup! Senzu beans healed my nuts up good!
CHI-CHI: Thank God.
KRILLIN: Hey hey, that's great! So, you got any to share?
GOKU: I kinda needed a few...
TRUNKS: I'm glad you're all fine, but it does concern me that there are apparently more Androids out there.
KRILLIN: Actually, I had a thought about that.
GERO: Well, that was a total bust.
I suppose I'll just continue nursing plan B.
What's another 17 years? I'm not going anywhere.
[Krillin talking in distance]
Wait, what is that noi-
KRILLIN: Wow! Danger Will Robinson.
GERO [o-s]: Oh, *no*...!
*Violin outtro*
*Now with banjo*
PICCOLO: Is it over?
VEGETA: Not 'til the fish jumps.
[Piccolo clears his throat]
[Vegeta clears his throat]
PICCOLO: Soo...
...what were you doing in the Arctic?
VEGETA: What were YOU doing in the Arctic?
PICCOLO: I don't have a place to live, what's your excuse?
VEGETA: Look Green Man, if you must know, I was just trying to find a place where I can be alone for a little bit and have some "me time."
Turns out, the Arctic wasn't the best solution.
PICCOLO: Yeah, it would, uh, seem that way.
VEGETA: Yeah, yeah, it would.
PICCOLO: So what do you do for fu-?
FISH: FIN!
PICCOLO: Oh, I get it.
VEGETA: It's 'cause he's a fish.
13: Well now, that sure was a doozy of a movie.
If y'all enjoyed,
Maybe, consider likin' and subscribin' if you want to watch something else by these folks.
Check out their gaming channel or maybe their Final Fantasy 7 Machinabridged.
Or, if you're interested in the voice of yours truly...
[voice changes] You can check out my YouTube channel "ricepirate newgrounds", or honestly just
look up "ricepirate"
it's easier that way, or you can always scream at my face over twitter @Ricepiratemick
Hey, thanks for watching and be sure to click around to get your fill of Team Four Star.
I know I am. ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)