1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,080 ANDROID 16: Physical media is forever, buy Laserdisc. (These are joke subtitles, if you need accurate ones, go to the regular English one) 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:07,400 YAMCHA: I-I'm just saying, I know it was stolen but it was still good music, right? (Damn just 7 seconds in and shade has already been thrown) 3 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:10,400 BULMA: Yeah, because it was stolen from better artists. 4 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:11,600 KRILLIN: What about the dub score? 5 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,600 YAMCHA: Oh yeah, let's start *that* flame war. 6 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:14,200 VEGETA: FREEZA'S HERE! 7 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:14,700 KRILLIN: F*CK! 8 00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:15,400 PICCOLO: OH MY KAMI! 9 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:16,600 GOHAN: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! 10 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:17,340 MECHA FREEZA: That's right, assholes! 11 00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:18,500 PROFANITY FILTER: That's right, B U T T H O L E S ! 12 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:20,500 RESURRECTION F: This is my resurrection! 13 00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:23,100 AND YOU'RE ALL ABOUT TO GET F- 14 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:25,480 (A moment of silence for all the lost jokes here) 15 00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:32,380 "Killing people vertically is like the funniest thing to me." -Kirran: February 16, 2016 16 00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:41,000 BUTTHOLE: WOOOOO!!! 17 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,100 [Dragon Soul!] (Hey if you listen closely, you can hear the pop sound for instant transmission!) 18 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:44,800 KRILLIN: So, what's your deal? 19 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,800 VIOLENT SAVIOR: I'm here because we have no female fanbase. 20 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,100 ALABAMA: Well you do now~ (Always say no to incest kids, even if we are a product of it) 21 00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:49,500 ERIC VALE: YOU NEED TO BE STOPPED. 22 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,200 IDIOT ALIEN: Hey guys! 23 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,200 I'm back and I'm off my meds! (Is that why he didn't take the heart medicine for three years?) 24 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:53,900 HERE BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO FEMALE FANBASE: Goku! (Seriously he should be dead if that were the case) 25 00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:55,700 The Red Ribbon Army has returned and— 26 00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:57,000 80% OF THE FANBASE: Only saw Z, who dat? 27 00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:57,600 TRUNKS: Listen! 28 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,900 I'm from the future, (M. NIGHT SHAMALYAN: What a twist!) 29 00:00:58,900 --> 00:00:59,400 GOKU: Woah! 30 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,140 FROM THE FUTURE: Bulma and Vegeta are my mom and dad, (M. NIGHT SHAMALAN: *twistgasm* 31 00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:01,700 GOKU: 'Kay... 32 00:01:01,700 --> 00:01:04,840 RACIST: and two "Androids" are going to show up to murder you all in three years! 33 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,660 GOKU: Woah! Are you trying to give me a heart attack? 34 00:01:06,660 --> 00:01:09,360 TRUNKS: Here's some heart medication. Don't not take it. (What?) [Do not not take it, is that clear?] 35 00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:10,980 GOKU: But will I? [RON HOWARD: He didn't.] (...After not taking it for 3 years and almost dying) 36 00:01:10,980 --> 00:01:12,020 TRUNKS: Alright, I'm out. 37 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:13,280 Bye, mom! 38 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:13,800 FUTURE MOM: What did he just- (How did she hear him?) 39 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:15,920 TRUNKS: Haha, just kidding, hah look at Vegeta's stupid shirt! (It is stupid) 40 00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:20,060 ONLY SERIOUS CHARACTER: More like Saiyan pride *parade*. Am I right? (Thank Dende it's not June anymore Tien, you would have been eviscerated) 41 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,175 TOTALLY NOT GAY, TRUST ME: I'm now going to breed the nearest female just to prove you wrong. (Chaozu and Puar are spooked...wait what gender was Puar?) [Female] { 00:01:24,220 NEAREST FEMALE: Oh, cool. (This makes more sense then the reason they got together in the show) 43 00:01:24,220 --> 00:01:26,000 PICCOLO: Should we be worried about the androids? (Not the ones you'll see 1 timelapse later) 44 00:01:26,180 --> 00:01:26,800 SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT THE ANDRIODS: Prolly. 45 00:01:26,980 --> 00:01:29,220 SPONGEBOB NARRATOR: Three years later... 46 00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:31,420 FANBASE: FILLER! 47 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,900 IDIOT: GUYS! It's *a* set of Androids! 48 00:01:35,140 --> 00:01:35,860 GOKU: And Yamcha's here. 49 00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:36,400 YAMCHA: I am? (sadly) 50 00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:37,480 YAMCHA BUT WITH HOLE IN HIM: BLGGH 51 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:38,640 GOKU: Yamcha's yamcha'd! 52 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:39,860 DEAD: No, I'm not! 53 00:01:40,060 --> 00:01:43,880 DR. GERO [ANDROID 20]: Come on, you-! Blasted ribs got caught on my sleeve... 54 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:44,720 NOT: *pitiful cry* 55 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:45,820 DUMBASS: Need some help? (Are you offering advice on how to penetrate people, or recover from being penetrated, 'cause you got experience in both.) 56 00:01:45,820 --> 00:01:46,880 OLD DUDE: HOW DARE YOU! 57 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:47,880 Nineteen! Kill him! (Rude. All he did was offer to help) 58 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:48,700 *INSTANT TRANSMISSION* (Or what we call another TFS timelapse) 59 00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:49,800 GOKU: Ah my heart! (But he hit you on the head...also when did all of you change location?) 60 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:50,300 Oblegh... 61 00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:51,420 GOHAN: Dad's yamcha'd! 62 00:01:51,420 --> 00:01:52,495 DEAD: No I'm not! 63 00:01:52,495 --> 00:01:52,995 NOT: AAUGH! (Why do the only fat people in this show violently sit on people?) 64 00:01:52,995 --> 00:01:56,155 DR. GERO: Either the heart attack is going to kill him, or my Android is! 65 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,780 Either way, victory for Gero- 66 00:01:58,960 --> 00:01:59,460 ANDROID 19: Shit. 67 00:01:59,460 --> 00:02:00,420 VEGETA: VEGETA... 68 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:01,880 LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 69 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,380 REAL ONE: Only saw Dragon Ball, who dis? (That is strangely accurate) 70 00:02:03,380 --> 00:02:05,000 Lives: BEHOLDMEPOWAH! 71 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,840 UNDER PREPARED FOR THIS: I feel like I under prepared for this. 72 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,320 VEGETA: DO YOU AFRAID!? 73 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:09,380 AFRAID: KIND OF!? 74 00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:11,240 SHELDON COOPER: BAZINGAAAA 75 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:12,360 VEGETA: BAZINGATTAAAAAKUH! 76 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:12,860 ANDROID 19: Fuck. (April fools is over TFS why!!) 77 00:02:15,740 --> 00:02:19,060 FATASS PINOCCHIO: Fra-A-ther, I wish to be a real boy... 78 00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:21,500 VEGETA: And now to put the old man in home: 79 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:25,120 A funeral home! I-ah, ah shit. 80 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:27,420 Damn, he runs fast for an old guy. (Anybody notice Vegeta's hair changes every frame?) 81 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:27,940 MASTERED INSTANT TRANSMISSION: Don't worry! 82 00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:28,840 I found his lab! 83 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,740 OLD GUY WHO'S LAB WAS FOUND: F*ck! They found my lab! 84 00:02:30,740 --> 00:02:33,060 But luckily I have two more androids. 85 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,260 The original androids that were always a part of this story. (They really doing mah 🅱oi Android 8 like that) 86 00:02:36,260 --> 00:02:38,480 Yes, from the very beginning! (Hooray for editors!) 87 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,660 And now, I shall awaken them! 88 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:44,380 Behold my second greatest creations! (Who's his first greatest creation? Cell? 16? 21? That one Android with the trucker hat?) 89 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:45,520 SECOND GREATEST CREATION: F*ck's that mean? 90 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:46,880 OTHER SECOND GREATEST CREATION: I dunno. Maybe he's referring to this? 91 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:49,640 DR GERO: No! Don't wake him up for some reason! (What WAS the reason, again?) [Canon wise or abridged wise?] {Canon: He gave Android 16 great power, but didn't want him destroyed so he gave him a gentle personality resulting in a failure. Abridged: He's not properly programed} 92 00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:50,560 ANDROID 18: *SPITS* I'm gonna. 93 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,040 KID WITH A BRAIN: NYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!! 94 00:02:54,060 --> 00:02:57,280 17: Duuuude! Caaaalm down! (I guess that blast killed Gero) 95 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:57,780 DUUUUDE: No! 96 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,620 16: Hello I am Android 16. 97 00:03:00,620 --> 00:03:02,160 I am hilarious and you will quote everything I say. 98 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:02,700 I am hilarious and you will ḅ̷̝̹̈i̶͖̻̚r̶̛̦̈́͝d̶͚̗̦͛s̶̺̙͇̈-̵̳̞͉̑B̶̡̺̄͗̕i̷̳͔͒r̶̠̲̎̌ḋ̴͕͈̈́̎͜s̶̢̱̙̓̓̅ ̴̞̟̕q̶̨̮͓͒o̵̜͇͈͑u̴̻͛̃͝ẗ̷͕̈́e̸͙̣̔͠͝ ̴̥́̿ẹ̸̠̮̀̂́v̵̧̜͋̅̇ë̸̳̘̻́̏̔ŕ̸͎͖y̵̩͔̤̚͝t̵͖̤͉̾̀h̵̺̣̫̿̅i̴̙̚ǹ̵̛̬̓g̴͍͌͠ ̵̟̎I̸̜̬̱̋̂͘ ̵̖̹͈͂s̶̭͐͛̿ä̸̦́̐͒ẏ̷̱͓̈͝ ̵̖̬̈́͒͜ 99 00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:04,220 HILARIOUS: I am hilarious and you will birds-Birds-BIRDS-Goku! (I like him) 100 00:03:04,220 --> 00:03:05,600 17: Hm. I like him! 101 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:06,100 VEGETA: Hey c*nt! 102 00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:06,660 MRA ACTIVIST: Hey c*nt! (C*nt count: 1) 103 00:03:06,660 --> 00:03:07,820 TRUNKS: Woah dad! 104 00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:08,800 DAD: What? She's a c*nt. (completely unphased that he just revealed that he's his son) 105 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:09,380 DAD: What? She's a c*nt. (completely unphased that he just revealed that he's his son) [C*nt counter: 2] 106 00:03:09,380 --> 00:03:09,880 A c*nty c*nt! 107 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:10,380 A c*nty c*nt! [C*nt counter: 3] 108 00:03:10,380 --> 00:03:10,880 A c*nty c*nt! [C*nt counter: 4] 109 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,700 Whatchu gonna do about it you big ol' c*nt? 110 00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:13,280 Whatchu gonna do about it you big ol' c*nt? (C*nt counter: 5) 111 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:13,780 Gonna c*nt all over me with your c*nty face and your c*nty boots and your 112 00:03:13,780 --> 00:03:14,280 Gonna c*nt all over me with your c*nty face and your c*nty boots and your (C*nt counter: 6) 113 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:14,900 Gonna c*nt all over me with your c*nty face and your c*nty boots and your 114 00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:15,400 Gonna c*nt all over me with your c*nty face and your c*nty boots and your (C*nt counter: 7) 115 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:16,100 Gonna c*nt all over me with your c*nty face and your c*nty boots and your 116 00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:16,600 Gonna c*nt all over me with your c*nty face and your c*nty boots and your (C*nt counter: 8) 117 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:17,180 Gonna c*nt all over me with your c*nty face and your c*nty boots and your 118 00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:17,680 Gonna c*nt all over me with your c*nty face and your c*nty boots and your. 119 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:18,180 Gonna c*nt all over me with your c*nty face and your c*nty boots and your.. 120 00:03:18,180 --> 00:03:18,900 Gonna c*nt all over me with your c*nty face and your c*nty boots and your...V A G I N A? 121 00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:19,400 Gonna c*nt all over me with your c*nty face and your c*nty boots and your...vagina? (C*nt counter: NANI!?) 122 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,280 (8 whole times Vegeta said c*nt in this episode and with a runtime of 5 minutes and 13.8 seconds that gives us a c*nt on average every 39.225 seconds. However if you want to stop at the exact moment he said, "c*nty", that gives us a runtime of 10.8 seconds with a c*nt on average every 1.35 seconds! I'm (not) James A. Janisse, this has been the c*nt count.) 123 00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:22,300 C*NTY C*NT: *sharply inhaling through her c*nty face* 124 00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:22,800 AA 125 00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:24,040 (And theres a dead meme, quality at it's finest) 126 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:24,820 AH! 127 00:03:24,820 --> 00:03:25,320 AH! AH! 128 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:25,820 AH! AH! AHH! 129 00:03:25,820 --> 00:03:26,880 AH! AH! AHH! BAUUUAGH! 130 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:27,680 AH! AH! AHH! BAUUUAGH! AAAHH! 131 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,040 AH! AH! AHH! BAUUUAGH! AAAHH! AAAAHH! 132 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:30,140 AH! AH! AHH! BAUUUAGH! AAAHH! AAAAHH! AAAAAHHH! 133 00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:30,900 AH! AH! AHH! BAUUUAGH! AAAHH! AAAAHH! AAAAAHHH! AH! 134 00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:32,480 AH! AH! AHH! BAUUUAGH! AAAHH! AAAHH! AAAAAHHH! AH! AAAAAAAUUUUGGH!!! (Lani's beautiful throat everyone, such a magnificent bastard!) 135 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,860 KRILLIN: I feel like we under prepared for this! (Do I see a unintentional short joke?) (You did) 136 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:36,940 17: Hey don't bang my sister. (Well 17 hate to spoil it for you...) 137 00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:37,680 UNDER PREPARED FOR THIS: Oh. 138 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:38,960 HIS SISTER: *kiss* He might~ 139 00:03:39,060 --> 00:03:39,800 LUCKY BASTARD: Oh! 140 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:40,440 COCK BLOCKER: But don't. 141 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:41,160 SOON TO BE BROTHER-IN-LAW: Oh... 142 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,640 WANTS GOKU: He wants pussy like I want Goku. (Are you really that desperate) 143 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,620 17: That sounds a little gay dude. 144 00:03:45,620 --> 00:03:47,300 LITTLE GAY DUDE: It is a little gay dude. 145 00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:49,220 PICCOLO: You know who could use some character development? 146 00:03:49,220 --> 00:03:49,720 TRUNKS: Gohan. 147 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:50,220 TRUNKS: Gohan. TENSHINHAN: Gohan. 148 00:03:50,220 --> 00:03:50,720 TRUNKS: Gohan. TENSHINHAN: Gohan. WANTS PUSSY: Gohan. 149 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:51,220 TRUNKS: Gohan. TENSHINHAN: Gohan. WANTS PUSSY(Can't blame him): Gohan. VEGETA: Kakarot's brat. 150 00:03:51,220 --> 00:03:51,720 THE: Gohan. ENTIRE: Gohan. DRAGON BALL: Gohan. COMMUNITY: Kakarot's brat. 151 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:52,660 DRAGON BALL HEROES: MEEEEE!!! 152 00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:56,680 PICCOLO: Kami! We have to kill some teenagers. Also we cool now. 153 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:58,400 DID DRUGS THIS SCENE: I did drugs this scene! (Don't you always do drugs?) 154 00:03:58,540 --> 00:04:00,600 TEENAGER KILLER: You had me at killing teenagers. (Said every old man ever) 155 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,760 (Local 306-year-old green man forcibly inserts himself into a 14-year-old) 156 00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:06,560 14-YEAR-OLD WITH 2 MEN INSIDE HIM: I'm three guys now! (Wait how old is Nail then?) 157 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:07,480 2 OF 3 GUYS: Sup. 158 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,300 KAMI: Do you think this joke will get old? 159 00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:10,940 THREE GUYS NOW: Nah, it's not Ghost Nappa. (Pretty sure Cell is going to kill it though) 160 00:04:10,940 --> 00:04:12,420 KAMI: Where's Goku anyway? 161 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,680 DEKUROT: I'M GONNA BE THE GREENEST GOKU EVER! (Damn it Goku) 162 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,360 BAKUGETA: F*CK YOU, DEKUROT. KILL YOURSELF! 163 00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:18,900 (Ungodly vampire screeching) [tfw Patrick Seitz never wry'd yet Lanipator did just for this one-off joke] 164 00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:20,860 DEKUROT: God, you're such a DEEP character! (I beg to differ) 165 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:21,820 BAKUGETA: FANFIC ME! (This is pretty good animation ngl) 166 00:04:21,820 --> 00:04:23,420 Goku: I wish I was All Might. (I don't see the difference, you both have blond hair, fight, and are buff. WAIT if this was a dream why didn't you dream about being All Might?) 167 00:04:23,420 --> 00:04:25,100 KAKAROT'S BRAT: I wish Piccolo was All Might. 168 00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:25,600 (I mean that's kind of true. A father-like figure kidnaps and trains a young boy to fight impending threats to the planet and teaches them their techniques. Not to mention Justin Briner voiced Adult Gohan in Super Android 13.) 169 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,040 BRAT'S DAD: Look, I'm not saying it was "the best" music, 170 00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:30,120 but American kids grew up with it, you know? 171 00:04:30,140 --> 00:04:32,740 KAMI: That doesn't make it "good", it just makes it nostalgic. (What if you didn't grow up with it though?) 172 00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:35,300 PICCOLO: Wait...what is that? (How do you not know what All Star is?) 173 00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:38,140 *whistling All Star* (How is Cell whistling if he has no lips?) [That's a good question] 174 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,500 (Did he just instant transmissioned to the other side?) 175 00:04:46,780 --> 00:04:50,360 (Shouldn't this hurt Piccolo a lot?) 176 00:04:51,060 --> 00:04:53,060 (Ah shit here we go again.) 177 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:56,100 SHREK: Who- 178 00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:56,600 SOME: SOME- 179 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,620 (BODY ONCE- wait) [Eh they'll probably continue the song immediately as the next episode starts] 180 00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:00,260 NAPPALL-MIGHT: And remember! (Guys look! Nappa is a Super Saiyan!) 181 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,100 When you say "Plus Ultra" 182 00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:04,280 You really gotta say it like a Japanese dude. 183 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,860 あなたはそれがプラスウルトラだろうと思ったが、 JAPANESE DUDE: PLORASUU 184 00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:07,300 それは私、Google翻訳でした！ ULTORAAAAAA 185 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:08,180 Got it? (no) 186 00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:08,800 Good! 187 00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:10,700 Cuz I gotta go bang Dekurrot's mom! (Sorry, what?) 188 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:12,780 Pokemon Professor: Straight up Professor Oak-ing that bitch! (Wonder if she does deep thrOAK) 189 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,780 (BTW that Japanese over there roughly translates into, "You thought it would be Plus Ultra, but it was me, GoogleTranslate!") [Subscribe to ImagineBricks which did a rough draft of all-star for Part Two.]