Who is this superhero?
Sarge?
No.
Rosemary, the telephone operator?
No.
Henry, the mild-mannered janitor?
Could be.
Hong Kong foo-wee, number one super guy.
Hong Kong foo-wee, quicker than the human eye.
He's got style, a groovy smile, and a part that just won't stop.
When the going gets rough, he's super tough with a Hong Kong foo-wee chop.
Hong Kong foo-wee, number one super guy.
Hong Kong foo-wee, quicker than the human eye.
Hong Kong foo-wee, terrific.
An honest-to-goodness Wild West Museum.
Ain't this an exciting way to spend our day off, Spot?
I knew you'd like it.
Say, how do you like this, Spot?
A horseshoe from the original Pony Express.
Hmm, size 37B.
It sure don't make ponies like they used to.
And here's the best thing of all,
a map showing the whereabouts of the famous Lost Dutchman Mine.
Why, Spot, there's a fortune in gold buried there.
There sure is, stranger.
An eye aims to dig it up with my own two hands.
And one foot.
Spot, I got a feeling there's a crime afoot here.
If only I could change into my Hong Kong foo-wee outfit.
But what'll I use for foul cabinet?
An old Western piano. What a real good idea.
I'm glad I thought of this.
It's stuck. Somebody get me out of here.
Yah, ha-ya-hoo-ee, and a ring-y-ding-y-doo-ee to you-wee.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
At last, the map to the Lost Dutchman Mine is mine.
Not so fast outlaw. Hong Kong foo-wee.
In the rippling flesh.
And now, prepare to face the wrath of an aroused protector of law and order.
Yah, hoo, and a ring-y-ding-y-doo.
So long, partner.
Next time you see me, I'll be rolling in gold.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Oh, oh, a robbery at the Lost Dutchman Mine exhibit.
I wonder who tried to steal that map.
Oh, no. The immortal Hong Kong foo-wee.
Howdy, Sergeant Flint.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
using your superior powers in the interests of crime.
But, but...
And you, a superhero.
Oh, yes.
Here, you're allowed to make one phone call.
Thank you, Sergeant.
There's only one person in this city who can clear my good name.
You mean...
That's right, Poncho.
Oh, wow.
Just look at the size of these skyscrapers.
The big city sure is different from back home on the Panhandle.
Poncho speaking.
Let the best in the West make your arrest.
What's that? You?
The legendary Hong Kong foo-wee in the Calaboos?
Well, just stay there.
I'll be over quicker than a horn-toed polecat can drive goats a bushwhacker.
Whatever that means.
You see, this here Desperado had a tin horse and a robot nose.
No, it's the other way around.
The robot horse had a tin man?
Oh, they...
No, no, the man had a robot horse and a tin nose.
Hold on.
That's gotta be tin nose himself.
Tin nose?
Yep, the most notorious bandito in the entire West.
But don't you fret.
I'll bring the vermin to justice.
That sure is nice of you, Honcho.
Shucks.
It's a downright honor to help clear the name of Hong Kong foo-wee.
Why, thank you.
I think.
Say, there's a typical hospitable-looking big city person.
Howdy, hospitable-looking person.
Did you happen to see a cowpoke with a tin nose around here?
Get lost, buster.
I do believe that friendly old lady was trying to tell me something.
Get lost.
Why, sure.
Where's the one place visitors to the big city always get lost?
The subway.
Get lost, old paint job.
Who'd ever think of looking for me down here?
I would.
Honcho, the amazing agent of law and order in the West.
Come on, boy, let's make tracks.
Subway tracks.
Poor misguided desperado.
Don't he realize nobody escapes from Honcho?
Follow them tracks.
Railroad tracks, that's right.
Railroad tracks, that is.
Here comes the 503 now.
It didn't stop.
Must be an express hay.
Yeah, a pony express.
Keep it up, old paint job.
We're gaining on him.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Just the thing to slow up that defective detective.
Who put on the brakes?
Notice how superheroes always attract crowds.
Oh, big fella.
Well, now that I've ditched that pesky lawman,
I can find out the location of the lost Dutchman mine.
Better hand over that map, tin nose.
Honcho, let's clear out of here.
After him, old paint job.
Your map stealing days are over, tin nose.
I'm gonna catch you and save the good name of Hong Kong Fooey.
I'm bringing you in.
Oh, yeah?
Take another look.
The state line.
Right, which means you can't arrest me.
I hate to admit it, but he's right.
The invincible Honcho has been vince.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Now nobody can stop me from finding the lost Dutchman mine.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
There's only one thing left to do.
I'll notify that ace bandit battler of the North Country,
the mystery maverick.
I sure hope he can read smoke-sigging on it.
Gosh, I wish you fellas wouldn't pound like that.
You'll make my crescent rolls fall.
Did you hear that, Burleigh?
Puny's cooking crescent rolls.
Now ain't that the sweetest thing, Gurley?
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Go ahead and laugh.
You think it's easy to bake crescent rolls?
These little devils put up quite a... struggle.
There.
Aw.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
You can't do anything.
How come us boondock brothers got stuck with this guy for a stamp brother?
I don't know, Gurley, but it sure is embarrassing.
Why couldn't you be more like the mystery maverick?
The mystery maverick?
There's a real he-man for you.
Well, you see, I, uh...
Smoke.
Something's burning.
I'll bet it's my gooseberry popovers.
Hey, it's coming from the telephone.
The fool thing's on fire.
No, it ain't. I am smoke signals.
Puny, you can read. What's it say?
Tin nose headed your direction.
Tin nose?
Hong Kong fooey, suspected of crime.
He did not commit.
Notify mystery maverick.
Signed honcho.
Notify mystery maverick?
But how? Nobody knows who he is.
Or where he lives.
Looks like we'll have to track down tin nose ourselves, Curley.
Looks like you're right, Burleigh.
Hey, fillers, wait for me.
Oh, please. Can I go with you?
You forget it.
You're not strong enough for this kind of work.
You just stay here and cook us up a mess of vittles.
Yeah. Catching bad guys makes us powerful hungry.
Whistle
Well, weak Willy, looks like it's up to us.
We're the only ones who can handle tin nose.
And now to head for the secret haystack.
Open allergy.
And now, super stallion, once again, it's time for justice to triumph.
All set, Burleigh?
All set, Curley.
And look, here he comes now.
Grab him.
Those two clowns again?
Oh, no.
You and your ideas.
Well, it worked in that jungle movie we saw.
Adios, boys.
As soon as I pull this here lever, it's down the river for you two.
Bye-bye, boondocks.
Hold on there. The jig is up tin nose.
It's the legendary mystery maverick.
Come to rescue us.
Spoilsport.
After him, super stallion.
That mystery maverick is my kind of guy.
Yeah, what a he-man.
Ha-ha, perfect. An old lumber mill.
We've got him trapped now.
You might as well come along peacefully.
No way, partner.
Sawdust.
That will teach you super stallion's allergies are nothing to be sneezed at.
Now, if you'll just hold still.
The mark of the mystery maverick.
For all the world to see.
Oh, yeah? Well, I ain't caught yet.
Adios, amigo. Ha-ha.
You'll never get away, villain.
There's only two ways to get rid of him.
One's burly and the other's curly.
Whoa!
What a dilemma.
Whether to chase after the bad guy or rescue the not-so-bad guys.
Hang on, boys. I'll be right down.
I'd better not miss.
So long, suckers. I'm off to find the lost Dutchman Man.
Mystery maverick, we'll be grateful to you forever.
Maybe even longer.
There's no time for thanks. I must see that tin nose is captured.
He said, why did you arrest us innocent people?
And throw us in the calabouse.
Because we're trying to beautify conniption flats and you two are ugly-fying it.
And you're here for being such a crybaby.
See what I mean?
Oh, quit your blubbering, blubber.
That ain't a two-fisted thing to do.
Well, you gotta admit, the blubber's good.
Hold on there. What's that noise?
Why, it's an urgent message from the mystery maverick.
I recognize his writing.
He says the tin nose, the notorious map thief, is headed for these parts.
And it's up to me to capture him and clear the good name of, hats off, boys, Hong Kong Fooey.
Not the Hong Kong Fooey.
That's right, the cutest little old crime fighter of them all.
It looks like it's up to me to capture that sidewinder, Tin Nose.
Good for you, sheriff, bumble-weed.
And you three saddle tramps are gonna be my deputies.
What's your name?
Oh, stick.
That's just what I aims to do.
Ouch.
What's your name?
Here.
Ouch.
Did I hurt you?
And what's your name?
It's Big Duke. Now, don't you forget it.
Here's your badge.
Ouch.
Now, you're all part of Posse Impossible.
All right, time's a-wasting, men. Let's saddle up.
Okay, men, let's cover it.
He's bound to fall for this trap.
Yeah, and once he does, we got him.
Well, finally, I got a chance to look at this here map.
Now, let's see here.
Hey, what blazes?
We got him.
Sprains on a horse?
Yeah, he's got some nerve.
We haven't got any.
Now, how are we gonna catch that mangy old metal horse of his?
Don't you fret yourself, then, sheriff.
I got just that thing to saddle his hash.
A giant magnet?
Big Duke always thinks big.
Hey, now that that's out of the way,
I can get back to studying my map to the lost Dutchman mine.
Let's see.
What tarnation?
We got him.
That's what you think.
Now, to shake those buzzards.
Well, now that I got rid of that pesky posse for good,
I can finally look at this here map.
Oh, wouldn't you know it.
A flat hoof.
How come these things always happen
when you're miles from the nearest gas station?
An oil leak.
Oh, well, what's it all matter?
Soon I'm gonna be the richest crooked cowpoke in the county.
There, the flat's fixed.
Now, to finally get a look at that treasure map.
Well, if that don't beat everything.
According to this,
the lost Dutchman mine's back in the city where we started.
Let's see now.
Three paces to the north,
four paces to the east,
two paces to the south,
and start digging.
What a cruel trick of fate.
Me, the world's goodest crime fighter,
languishing in jail for a crime I didn't commit.
I know what.
I'll use my kung fu powers to conjure up the real criminal.
Binga, dinga ringa, dinga dinga, chop chop.
What in the world is that?
Hong Kong fooey.
Dino, the fellow who stole the map.
That kung fu stuff sure does beat all.
Yeah?
All except my robot horse.
Oh, yeah?
Let's just see what the Hong Kong Book of Kung Fu says about that.
Aha!
That's the thing.
The giddy up trap trick.
Yah, yah, hoo!
And a ringy dingy doo.
My robot horse finished!
And thanks to Hong Kong fooey, so are you-ey.
Ooh, ooh, it's Tin Nose, the real map thief.
Hong Kong fooey, I knew all along you were innocent.
Me too, but I couldn't prove it
till I captured Tin Nose all by my own hands.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I couldn't prove it till I captured Tin Nose all by myself.
By yourself?
Well, maybe I had a little help.
How much?
A lot of help.
Try that again, Hong Kong.
Well, when you get right down to it,
I couldn't have done it without all of you.
And vice versa.
So does how a superhero never takes all the credit.
Thank you.