WEBVTT

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Who is this superhero?

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Sarge?

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No.

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Rosemary, the telephone operator?

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No.

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Henry, the mild-mannered janitor?

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Could be.

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Hong Kong foo-wee, number one super guy.

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Hong Kong foo-wee, quicker than the human eye.

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He's got style, a groovy smile, and a part that just won't stop.

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When the going gets rough, he's super tough with a Hong Kong foo-wee chop.

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Hong Kong foo-wee, number one super guy.

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Hong Kong foo-wee, quicker than the human eye.

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Hong Kong foo-wee, terrific.

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An honest-to-goodness Wild West Museum.

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Ain't this an exciting way to spend our day off, Spot?

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I knew you'd like it.

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Say, how do you like this, Spot?

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A horseshoe from the original Pony Express.

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Hmm, size 37B.

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It sure don't make ponies like they used to.

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And here's the best thing of all,

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a map showing the whereabouts of the famous Lost Dutchman Mine.

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Why, Spot, there's a fortune in gold buried there.

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There sure is, stranger.

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An eye aims to dig it up with my own two hands.

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And one foot.

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Spot, I got a feeling there's a crime afoot here.

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If only I could change into my Hong Kong foo-wee outfit.

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But what'll I use for foul cabinet?

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An old Western piano. What a real good idea.

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I'm glad I thought of this.

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It's stuck. Somebody get me out of here.

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Yah, ha-ya-hoo-ee, and a ring-y-ding-y-doo-ee to you-wee.

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Ha-ha-ha-ha.

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At last, the map to the Lost Dutchman Mine is mine.

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Not so fast outlaw. Hong Kong foo-wee.

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In the rippling flesh.

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And now, prepare to face the wrath of an aroused protector of law and order.

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Yah, hoo, and a ring-y-ding-y-doo.

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So long, partner.

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Next time you see me, I'll be rolling in gold.

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Ha-ha-ha-ha.

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Oh, oh, a robbery at the Lost Dutchman Mine exhibit.

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I wonder who tried to steal that map.

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Oh, no. The immortal Hong Kong foo-wee.

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Howdy, Sergeant Flint.

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You ought to be ashamed of yourself,

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using your superior powers in the interests of crime.

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But, but...

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And you, a superhero.

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Oh, yes.

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Here, you're allowed to make one phone call.

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Thank you, Sergeant.

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There's only one person in this city who can clear my good name.

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You mean...

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That's right, Poncho.

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Oh, wow.

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Just look at the size of these skyscrapers.

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The big city sure is different from back home on the Panhandle.

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Poncho speaking.

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Let the best in the West make your arrest.

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What's that? You?

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The legendary Hong Kong foo-wee in the Calaboos?

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Well, just stay there.

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I'll be over quicker than a horn-toed polecat can drive goats a bushwhacker.

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Whatever that means.

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You see, this here Desperado had a tin horse and a robot nose.

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No, it's the other way around.

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The robot horse had a tin man?

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Oh, they...

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No, no, the man had a robot horse and a tin nose.

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Hold on.

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That's gotta be tin nose himself.

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Tin nose?

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Yep, the most notorious bandito in the entire West.

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But don't you fret.

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I'll bring the vermin to justice.

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That sure is nice of you, Honcho.

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Shucks.

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It's a downright honor to help clear the name of Hong Kong foo-wee.

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Why, thank you.

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I think.

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Say, there's a typical hospitable-looking big city person.

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Howdy, hospitable-looking person.

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Did you happen to see a cowpoke with a tin nose around here?

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Get lost, buster.

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I do believe that friendly old lady was trying to tell me something.

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Get lost.

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Why, sure.

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Where's the one place visitors to the big city always get lost?

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The subway.

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Get lost, old paint job.

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Who'd ever think of looking for me down here?

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I would.

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Honcho, the amazing agent of law and order in the West.

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Come on, boy, let's make tracks.

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Subway tracks.

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Poor misguided desperado.

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Don't he realize nobody escapes from Honcho?

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Follow them tracks.

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Railroad tracks, that's right.

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Railroad tracks, that is.

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Here comes the 503 now.

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It didn't stop.

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Must be an express hay.

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Yeah, a pony express.

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Keep it up, old paint job.

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We're gaining on him.

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Ha-ha-ha-ha.

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Just the thing to slow up that defective detective.

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Who put on the brakes?

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Notice how superheroes always attract crowds.

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Oh, big fella.

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Well, now that I've ditched that pesky lawman,

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I can find out the location of the lost Dutchman mine.

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Better hand over that map, tin nose.

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Honcho, let's clear out of here.

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After him, old paint job.

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Your map stealing days are over, tin nose.

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I'm gonna catch you and save the good name of Hong Kong Fooey.

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I'm bringing you in.

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Oh, yeah?

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Take another look.

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The state line.

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Right, which means you can't arrest me.

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I hate to admit it, but he's right.

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The invincible Honcho has been vince.

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Ha-ha-ha-ha.

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Now nobody can stop me from finding the lost Dutchman mine.

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Ha-ha-ha-ha.

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There's only one thing left to do.

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I'll notify that ace bandit battler of the North Country,

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the mystery maverick.

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I sure hope he can read smoke-sigging on it.

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Gosh, I wish you fellas wouldn't pound like that.

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You'll make my crescent rolls fall.

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Did you hear that, Burleigh?

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Puny's cooking crescent rolls.

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Now ain't that the sweetest thing, Gurley?

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Ha-ha-ha-ha.

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Go ahead and laugh.

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You think it's easy to bake crescent rolls?

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These little devils put up quite a... struggle.

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There.

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Aw.

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Ha-ha-ha-ha.

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You can't do anything.

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How come us boondock brothers got stuck with this guy for a stamp brother?

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I don't know, Gurley, but it sure is embarrassing.

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Why couldn't you be more like the mystery maverick?

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The mystery maverick?

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There's a real he-man for you.

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Well, you see, I, uh...

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Smoke.

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Something's burning.

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I'll bet it's my gooseberry popovers.

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Hey, it's coming from the telephone.

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The fool thing's on fire.

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No, it ain't. I am smoke signals.

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Puny, you can read. What's it say?

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Tin nose headed your direction.

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Tin nose?

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Hong Kong fooey, suspected of crime.

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He did not commit.

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Notify mystery maverick.

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Signed honcho.

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Notify mystery maverick?

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But how? Nobody knows who he is.

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Or where he lives.

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Looks like we'll have to track down tin nose ourselves, Curley.

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Looks like you're right, Burleigh.

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Hey, fillers, wait for me.

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Oh, please. Can I go with you?

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You forget it.

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You're not strong enough for this kind of work.

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You just stay here and cook us up a mess of vittles.

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Yeah. Catching bad guys makes us powerful hungry.

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Whistle

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Well, weak Willy, looks like it's up to us.

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We're the only ones who can handle tin nose.

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And now to head for the secret haystack.

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Open allergy.

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And now, super stallion, once again, it's time for justice to triumph.

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All set, Burleigh?

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All set, Curley.

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And look, here he comes now.

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Grab him.

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Those two clowns again?

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Oh, no.

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You and your ideas.

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Well, it worked in that jungle movie we saw.

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Adios, boys.

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As soon as I pull this here lever, it's down the river for you two.

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Bye-bye, boondocks.

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Hold on there. The jig is up tin nose.

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It's the legendary mystery maverick.

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Come to rescue us.

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Spoilsport.

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After him, super stallion.

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That mystery maverick is my kind of guy.

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Yeah, what a he-man.

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Ha-ha, perfect. An old lumber mill.

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We've got him trapped now.

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You might as well come along peacefully.

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No way, partner.

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Sawdust.

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That will teach you super stallion's allergies are nothing to be sneezed at.

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Now, if you'll just hold still.

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The mark of the mystery maverick.

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For all the world to see.

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Oh, yeah? Well, I ain't caught yet.

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Adios, amigo. Ha-ha.

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You'll never get away, villain.

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There's only two ways to get rid of him.

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One's burly and the other's curly.

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Whoa!

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What a dilemma.

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Whether to chase after the bad guy or rescue the not-so-bad guys.

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Hang on, boys. I'll be right down.

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I'd better not miss.

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So long, suckers. I'm off to find the lost Dutchman Man.

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Mystery maverick, we'll be grateful to you forever.

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Maybe even longer.

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There's no time for thanks. I must see that tin nose is captured.

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He said, why did you arrest us innocent people?

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And throw us in the calabouse.

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Because we're trying to beautify conniption flats and you two are ugly-fying it.

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And you're here for being such a crybaby.

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See what I mean?

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Oh, quit your blubbering, blubber.

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That ain't a two-fisted thing to do.

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Well, you gotta admit, the blubber's good.

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Hold on there. What's that noise?

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Why, it's an urgent message from the mystery maverick.

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I recognize his writing.

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He says the tin nose, the notorious map thief, is headed for these parts.

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And it's up to me to capture him and clear the good name of, hats off, boys, Hong Kong Fooey.

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Not the Hong Kong Fooey.

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That's right, the cutest little old crime fighter of them all.

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It looks like it's up to me to capture that sidewinder, Tin Nose.

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Good for you, sheriff, bumble-weed.

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And you three saddle tramps are gonna be my deputies.

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What's your name?

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Oh, stick.

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That's just what I aims to do.

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Ouch.

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What's your name?

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Here.

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Ouch.

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Did I hurt you?

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And what's your name?

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It's Big Duke. Now, don't you forget it.

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Here's your badge.

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Ouch.

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Now, you're all part of Posse Impossible.

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All right, time's a-wasting, men. Let's saddle up.

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Okay, men, let's cover it.

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He's bound to fall for this trap.

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Yeah, and once he does, we got him.

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Well, finally, I got a chance to look at this here map.

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Now, let's see here.

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Hey, what blazes?

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We got him.

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Sprains on a horse?

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Yeah, he's got some nerve.

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We haven't got any.

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Now, how are we gonna catch that mangy old metal horse of his?

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Don't you fret yourself, then, sheriff.

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I got just that thing to saddle his hash.

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A giant magnet?

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Big Duke always thinks big.

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Hey, now that that's out of the way,

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I can get back to studying my map to the lost Dutchman mine.

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Let's see.

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What tarnation?

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We got him.

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That's what you think.

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Now, to shake those buzzards.

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Well, now that I got rid of that pesky posse for good,

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I can finally look at this here map.

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Oh, wouldn't you know it.

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A flat hoof.

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How come these things always happen

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when you're miles from the nearest gas station?

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An oil leak.

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Oh, well, what's it all matter?

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Soon I'm gonna be the richest crooked cowpoke in the county.

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There, the flat's fixed.

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Now, to finally get a look at that treasure map.

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Well, if that don't beat everything.

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According to this,

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the lost Dutchman mine's back in the city where we started.

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Let's see now.

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Three paces to the north,

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four paces to the east,

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two paces to the south,

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and start digging.

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What a cruel trick of fate.

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Me, the world's goodest crime fighter,

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languishing in jail for a crime I didn't commit.

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I know what.

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I'll use my kung fu powers to conjure up the real criminal.

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Binga, dinga ringa, dinga dinga, chop chop.

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What in the world is that?

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Hong Kong fooey.

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Dino, the fellow who stole the map.

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That kung fu stuff sure does beat all.

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Yeah?

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All except my robot horse.

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Oh, yeah?

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Let's just see what the Hong Kong Book of Kung Fu says about that.

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Aha!

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That's the thing.

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The giddy up trap trick.

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Yah, yah, hoo!

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And a ringy dingy doo.

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My robot horse finished!

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And thanks to Hong Kong fooey, so are you-ey.

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Ooh, ooh, it's Tin Nose, the real map thief.

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Hong Kong fooey, I knew all along you were innocent.

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Me too, but I couldn't prove it

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till I captured Tin Nose all by my own hands.

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I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

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I'm sorry.

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I'm sorry.

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I'm sorry.

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I'm sorry.

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I couldn't prove it till I captured Tin Nose all by myself.

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By yourself?

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Well, maybe I had a little help.

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How much?

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A lot of help.

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Try that again, Hong Kong.

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Well, when you get right down to it,

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I couldn't have done it without all of you.

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And vice versa.

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So does how a superhero never takes all the credit.

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Thank you.