WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:07.000 Hello, I'm Mr. Red. 00:07.000 --> 00:16.000 A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and no one can talk to a horse, of course, 00:16.000 --> 00:20.000 that is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Red. 00:20.000 --> 00:24.000 Go right to the source and ask the horse, he'll give you the answer that you endorse. 00:24.000 --> 00:30.000 He's always on a steady course, talk to Mr. Red. 00:35.000 --> 00:37.000 Good morning, Ed. 00:45.000 --> 00:47.000 I said good morning, Ed. 00:47.000 --> 00:50.000 Sorry, my mind was on something else. 00:50.000 --> 00:53.000 No. 00:53.000 --> 00:55.000 Hello. 00:56.000 --> 01:00.000 No, operator, nobody here put in a call to Pimlico Racetrack. 01:03.000 --> 01:06.000 Must be some mistake, operator. 01:08.000 --> 01:09.000 Ed? 01:09.000 --> 01:13.000 I haven't made a long distance call in weeks. 01:15.000 --> 01:18.000 Let's see, bills, bills, bills. 01:18.000 --> 01:22.000 Grocery bill, electric bill, gas bill. 01:22.000 --> 01:25.000 Do you see a telephone bill that was right here? 01:28.000 --> 01:29.000 Ed? 01:29.000 --> 01:31.000 Don't ask me. 01:31.000 --> 01:34.000 Don't you look at me with those baby brown eyes. 01:34.000 --> 01:36.000 Hand it over. 01:38.000 --> 01:40.000 Here it is. 01:40.000 --> 01:42.000 Thank you. 01:48.000 --> 01:50.000 Six calls to Pimlico. 01:50.000 --> 01:53.000 Ed, why are you calling a racetrack? 01:53.000 --> 01:57.000 Well, I'm worried. My niece is about to run her maiden race. 01:57.000 --> 01:59.000 Six calls? That's a fortune. 01:59.000 --> 02:04.000 Wilbur, I promised my sister I'd keep an eye on her kid. 02:04.000 --> 02:08.000 By any chance have you seen Kay this morning? There's nobody at my house. 02:08.000 --> 02:12.000 Yeah, she and Carol went shopping. They're having dollar day downtown. 02:12.000 --> 02:16.000 The last time they had dollar day downtown, Kay bought downtown. 02:18.000 --> 02:21.000 Oh, we must be in the wrong store. 02:21.000 --> 02:23.000 Nothing in here looks like it only costs a dollar. 02:23.000 --> 02:26.000 Oh, Kay, look at all these beautiful pieces. 02:26.000 --> 02:32.000 That was me before my diet. 02:37.000 --> 02:40.000 Good morning. May I help you? 02:40.000 --> 02:42.000 Good morning. I like this. 02:42.000 --> 02:45.000 Isn't it, darling? It's really a conversation piece. 02:45.000 --> 02:46.000 How much is it? 02:46.000 --> 02:48.000 Only $300. 02:48.000 --> 02:50.000 That's the end of that conversation. 02:50.000 --> 02:54.000 Oh, may I help you? 02:54.000 --> 02:58.000 This is so different. I could wear it to the theater. 02:58.000 --> 02:59.000 What is it? 02:59.000 --> 03:01.000 It's a rug. 03:01.000 --> 03:06.000 Kay, look. Wouldn't this make a perfect lamp base for my living room? 03:06.000 --> 03:11.000 Isn't it interesting? It has its origins in mythology. 03:11.000 --> 03:16.000 It's a Chinese piece and a steal at only $50. 03:16.000 --> 03:23.000 $50? Oh, I just love it, but I'm afraid my husband would think I was being too extravagant. 03:23.000 --> 03:27.000 Honey, buy it. Wilbur will always be around. 03:27.000 --> 03:29.000 The statue may not. 03:31.000 --> 03:33.000 Perfect lamp base. 03:35.000 --> 03:36.000 Carol? 03:36.000 --> 03:38.000 Yes, dear? 03:39.000 --> 03:42.000 Honey, we are loaded with bills this month. 03:42.000 --> 03:46.000 We've just got to start saving money. 03:46.000 --> 03:48.000 You're right, dear. 03:48.000 --> 03:51.000 I mean, yeah, this one. Andre's Beauty Shop. 03:51.000 --> 03:54.000 What are you doing, patronizing him or adopting him? 03:54.000 --> 03:57.000 I'm trying to keep attractive for you, honey. 03:57.000 --> 04:01.000 And this, this little beauty, the electric light bill. 04:01.000 --> 04:03.000 You'd think we were holding night baseball games. 04:03.000 --> 04:05.000 You're absolutely right, honey. 04:07.000 --> 04:10.000 Carol, I'm going to go get my stuff. 04:10.000 --> 04:12.000 Carol? 04:12.000 --> 04:13.000 Yes, dear? 04:13.000 --> 04:18.000 I mean, I don't want you to think I'm picking on you, but I think we should try to hold expenses down. 04:18.000 --> 04:20.000 Oh, I couldn't agree with you more. 04:20.000 --> 04:27.000 I don't want to deny you anything, dear, but I think for a while we should try to just buy the essentials. 04:27.000 --> 04:29.000 You're absolutely right, honey. 04:29.000 --> 04:34.000 I don't mean to suggest that you should stop going to the beauty parlor or stop buying clothes, 04:34.000 --> 04:37.000 but promise me you'll use a little discretion. 04:37.000 --> 04:38.000 Okay, honey. 04:38.000 --> 04:41.000 That's my girl. 04:46.000 --> 04:49.000 It didn't cost much, darling. Do you like it? 04:49.000 --> 04:52.000 That depends. How much did it cost? 04:52.000 --> 04:53.000 Fifty. 04:53.000 --> 04:54.000 Fifty? 04:54.000 --> 04:57.000 Fifty cents. 04:57.000 --> 04:59.000 No. 05:03.000 --> 05:06.000 But, honey, there's a fascinating story connected with this statue. 05:06.000 --> 05:08.000 Would you like to hear about its past? 05:08.000 --> 05:11.000 No, but I can tell you its future. It is going back. 05:11.000 --> 05:16.000 I can't take it back. There was a sign in the store, all sales final. 05:16.000 --> 05:17.000 Then I'll take it back. 05:17.000 --> 05:22.000 Honey, from now on, let's really try to economize, shall we? 05:22.000 --> 05:26.000 Yes, operator. I'm ready for the Pimlico call. 05:26.000 --> 05:31.000 Hello. Are you the trainer of the Philly Little Princess? 05:31.000 --> 05:33.000 That's right. This is Joe King. Who are you? 05:33.000 --> 05:35.000 Mr. Edwards. 05:35.000 --> 05:40.000 I understand Little Princess is running her maiden race tomorrow. 05:40.000 --> 05:41.000 That's right. What about it? 05:41.000 --> 05:45.000 You shouldn't work her out too early in the morning. 05:45.000 --> 05:46.000 Why not? 05:46.000 --> 05:51.000 I know her family. They're late sleepers. 05:51.000 --> 05:54.000 She hasn't been training too well lately. 05:54.000 --> 05:56.000 Are you sure you know what you're talking about? 05:56.000 --> 06:00.000 Buddy, you're getting it right from the horse's mouth. 06:00.000 --> 06:05.000 Well, I'll try anything. 06:05.000 --> 06:16.000 I'll call you back later. 06:16.000 --> 06:18.000 What have you got there, Wilbur? 06:18.000 --> 06:20.000 Oh, nothing. Just a statue. 06:20.000 --> 06:24.000 Oh. 06:24.000 --> 06:27.000 Ming Dynasty, huh? 06:27.000 --> 06:28.000 How do you know? 06:28.000 --> 06:33.000 Maybe I didn't go to college, but I'm not stupid. 06:33.000 --> 06:35.000 Wilbur, how about nine holes, huh? 06:35.000 --> 06:37.000 Oh, love to, but I'm afraid not, Rog. 06:37.000 --> 06:40.000 Hey, wait a minute. What's that? 06:40.000 --> 06:43.000 Oh, Carol made a foolish purchase. I'm taking it back. 06:43.000 --> 06:46.000 Can you imagine paying $50 for that? 06:46.000 --> 06:47.000 What is it? 06:47.000 --> 06:50.000 Don't ask me. All I know is she wants to make it into a lamp. 06:50.000 --> 06:52.000 Well, if she wanted a lamp, why didn't she buy a lamp? 06:52.000 --> 06:54.000 You don't know my wife. 06:54.000 --> 07:02.000 If she bought a lamp, she'd want to make it into a vase. 07:02.000 --> 07:04.000 Something I can do for you, sir? 07:04.000 --> 07:06.000 Yes, I'd like to return something. 07:06.000 --> 07:10.000 Oh. 07:10.000 --> 07:13.000 My wife bought this here. 07:13.000 --> 07:14.000 She's changed her mind. 07:14.000 --> 07:20.000 I'm sorry, sir. 07:20.000 --> 07:22.000 She only bought it an hour ago. 07:22.000 --> 07:24.000 It's still warm. 07:24.000 --> 07:30.000 I'd like to keep my cash box the same way. 07:30.000 --> 07:32.000 I wish you'd take it back. 07:32.000 --> 07:34.000 We really have no use for it. 07:34.000 --> 07:37.000 I thought your wife wanted to make a lamp out of it. 07:37.000 --> 07:39.000 She wants to make a lamp out of everything. 07:39.000 --> 07:48.000 You stand still for a second, she shoves a bulb in your mouth. 07:48.000 --> 07:49.000 Then you'll take it back? 07:49.000 --> 07:59.000 No. 07:59.000 --> 08:09.000 I know you're not obligated to take the statue back, but you'd be doing me a very big favor. 08:09.000 --> 08:10.000 Please? 08:10.000 --> 08:19.000 I do so hope you're not going to cry. 08:19.000 --> 08:23.000 Oh, all right. 08:23.000 --> 08:26.000 But promise me you won't tell anyone that I refunded your money. 08:26.000 --> 08:31.000 I won't even tell my wife. 08:31.000 --> 08:34.000 I said to this antique dealer of yours, look, either I get my money back... 08:34.000 --> 08:36.000 Yes, you told me, dear. 08:36.000 --> 08:40.000 Look, doesn't that trout look delicious? 08:40.000 --> 08:42.000 Look, what is going on around here? 08:42.000 --> 08:45.000 Oh, dear, you told me to economize, and you'll be very proud of me. 08:45.000 --> 08:50.000 There was a sale on fish downtown, and I bought 30 pounds. 08:50.000 --> 08:52.000 30 pounds? 08:52.000 --> 08:54.000 We'll be eating fish for days. 08:54.000 --> 08:59.000 Yes, but think of all the money we'll save on chicken and steak and roast beef. 08:59.000 --> 09:01.000 Oh, wait a minute. 09:01.000 --> 09:05.000 I had fish balls for hors d'oeuvres, I just had clam chowder, and now trout. 09:05.000 --> 09:08.000 What have you got for dessert? Fish cakes? 09:08.000 --> 09:16.000 Oh, you spoiled my surprise. 09:16.000 --> 09:18.000 Well, honey, what's for breakfast? 09:18.000 --> 09:22.000 Fried fish. 09:22.000 --> 09:26.000 Hey, look, delicious. 09:26.000 --> 09:43.000 Well, bring them on. 09:43.000 --> 09:45.000 There you are. 09:45.000 --> 10:10.000 Here's another. 10:10.000 --> 10:11.000 Hi, Carol. 10:11.000 --> 10:14.000 Hi, Kay. 10:14.000 --> 10:15.000 Well, how's... 10:15.000 --> 10:17.000 Shh, he's upstairs. 10:17.000 --> 10:19.000 How's the fish campaign? 10:19.000 --> 10:21.000 Well, it's the third day. 10:21.000 --> 10:23.000 He should be growing fins by now. 10:23.000 --> 10:25.000 Well, keep punching, sweetie. 10:25.000 --> 10:29.000 As soon as you get him off that economy kick, you go right out and buy that statue back. 10:29.000 --> 10:31.000 Shh, here he comes. 10:31.000 --> 10:40.000 Oh, hi, Wilbur. 10:40.000 --> 10:44.000 I wonder if Mr. Phillips has sold my beautiful statue yet. 10:44.000 --> 10:47.000 Look, Carol, I've got a great idea. 10:47.000 --> 10:51.000 Why don't you let me buy it and hold it for you until you break Wilbur down? 10:51.000 --> 10:54.000 Oh, I couldn't ask you to do a thing like that, Kay. 10:54.000 --> 10:57.000 Well, it was just an idea. 10:57.000 --> 11:00.000 You better hurry, the store's closed at 6. 11:00.000 --> 11:02.000 You say this is an original, huh? 11:02.000 --> 11:04.000 Absolutely. 11:04.000 --> 11:07.000 I like it very much. 11:07.000 --> 11:08.000 How much are you asking for it? 11:08.000 --> 11:10.000 $50. 11:10.000 --> 11:12.000 And how much will you take? 11:12.000 --> 11:14.000 $50. 11:14.000 --> 11:16.000 This is a one-price store. 11:16.000 --> 11:17.000 Okay, don't get excited. 11:17.000 --> 11:19.000 I told you I like it. 11:19.000 --> 11:21.000 Would you wrap it, please? 11:21.000 --> 11:30.000 Gladly. 11:30.000 --> 11:31.000 Pardon me. 11:31.000 --> 11:34.000 How much is he asking for it today? 11:34.000 --> 11:35.000 Today? 11:35.000 --> 11:38.000 I thought $25 was quite expensive. 11:38.000 --> 11:39.000 25? 11:39.000 --> 11:41.000 I'm paying him 50. 11:41.000 --> 11:44.000 Oh, that's for two, of course. 11:44.000 --> 11:45.000 Two? 11:45.000 --> 11:48.000 He told me it was an original. 11:48.000 --> 11:51.000 He's got a back room full of them. 11:51.000 --> 11:53.000 No kidding. 11:53.000 --> 11:55.000 He must stamp them out with a cookie cutter. 11:55.000 --> 11:58.000 I see. 11:58.000 --> 12:01.000 An original, huh? 12:01.000 --> 12:03.000 Thank you. 12:03.000 --> 12:08.000 Here's the $50. 12:08.000 --> 12:10.000 Hey. 12:10.000 --> 12:12.000 Anybody home? 12:12.000 --> 12:37.000 It's me. 12:37.000 --> 12:47.000 Hello. 12:47.000 --> 12:49.000 Oh, hello, Wilbur. 12:49.000 --> 12:54.000 Uh, Roger, can I come over to your place for a sandwich or something? 12:54.000 --> 12:55.000 Sure. 12:55.000 --> 12:56.000 Of course. 12:56.000 --> 12:57.000 You're sure? 12:57.000 --> 12:58.000 Yeah. 12:58.000 --> 13:00.000 We're well stocked. 13:00.000 --> 13:01.000 What do you want? 13:01.000 --> 13:04.000 Anything that doesn't swim. 13:04.000 --> 13:06.000 I beg your pardon? 13:06.000 --> 13:10.000 See, Carol's had me on a steady diet of fish the last few days. 13:10.000 --> 13:13.000 All because I returned that silly statue she bought. 13:13.000 --> 13:16.000 You won't believe this, but Kay bought one just like it. 13:16.000 --> 13:18.000 And she's been hiding it from me. 13:18.000 --> 13:19.000 You're kidding. 13:19.000 --> 13:20.000 What are you going to do? 13:20.000 --> 13:21.000 Return it, of course. 13:21.000 --> 13:23.000 Well, look, let me give you a little tip. 13:23.000 --> 13:27.000 If the owner won't take it back, just say please and look miserable. 13:27.000 --> 13:28.000 He's very soft-hearted. 13:28.000 --> 13:31.000 It won't be difficult to look miserable. 13:31.000 --> 13:38.000 Just think of the price. 13:38.000 --> 13:40.000 Yes, sir, may I show you something? 13:40.000 --> 13:42.000 No, thank you. 13:42.000 --> 13:44.000 I'd like to return something. 13:44.000 --> 13:47.000 I'm sorry, we have a no return policy. 13:47.000 --> 13:48.000 Oh, I don't blame you. 13:48.000 --> 13:53.000 As a businessman, I realize you can't make a profit if you keep taking back merchandise you've sold. 13:53.000 --> 13:55.000 Exactly. 13:55.000 --> 13:58.000 May I ask a favor of you, please? 13:58.000 --> 14:03.000 Would you call my wife and tell her you positively will not refund the money? 14:03.000 --> 14:05.000 Why don't you call her yourself? 14:05.000 --> 14:09.000 Well, to be perfectly frank, just before I left the house, we had a terrible argument. 14:09.000 --> 14:12.000 She's very sensitive about making mistakes. 14:12.000 --> 14:17.000 And I'm very sensitive about returning money. 14:17.000 --> 14:18.000 Then you won't call her? 14:18.000 --> 14:24.000 No. 14:24.000 --> 14:28.000 Would you write her a note, please? 14:28.000 --> 14:30.000 Please? 14:30.000 --> 14:32.000 Write her a note? 14:32.000 --> 14:35.000 Please? 14:35.000 --> 14:37.000 Oh, all right. 14:37.000 --> 14:38.000 Oh, thank you. 14:38.000 --> 14:49.000 I knew a kind heart went with that face. 14:49.000 --> 14:51.000 Oh, no. 14:51.000 --> 14:53.000 It's back again. 14:53.000 --> 14:55.000 I need you to pay $50. 14:55.000 --> 14:57.000 What is this, some sort of parlor game? 14:57.000 --> 15:00.000 Musical statues? 15:00.000 --> 15:07.000 Please? 15:07.000 --> 15:08.000 Please? 15:08.000 --> 15:11.000 Please? 15:11.000 --> 15:12.000 Oh, thank you. 15:12.000 --> 15:25.000 You have just saved a marriage. 15:25.000 --> 15:28.000 Honey. 15:28.000 --> 15:30.000 I brought you some lunch. 15:30.000 --> 15:35.000 Sit it down, Carol. 15:35.000 --> 15:45.000 I'll reel it in later. 15:45.000 --> 15:48.000 Oh, I'm cracking up. 15:48.000 --> 15:50.000 That fish looks just like a chicken. 15:50.000 --> 15:51.000 Go ahead, dear. 15:51.000 --> 15:52.000 You deserve a good meal. 15:52.000 --> 15:55.000 You mean you're giving up? 15:55.000 --> 15:57.000 You're throwing in the flounder? 15:57.000 --> 16:01.000 I just couldn't stand to see you suffer anymore. 16:01.000 --> 16:04.000 I don't know who to kiss first, you or the chicken. 16:04.000 --> 16:19.000 Enjoy it, dear. 16:19.000 --> 16:21.000 She's out to get you. 16:21.000 --> 16:22.000 It's worth it. 16:22.000 --> 16:26.000 You gonna eat that without a food taster? 16:26.000 --> 16:29.000 Ed, stick to being a horse. 16:29.000 --> 16:32.000 The condemned prisoner ate a hearty meal. 16:32.000 --> 16:35.000 I got the greatest little wife in the world. 16:35.000 --> 16:38.000 And what's more, I want to surprise her and buy that statue back. 16:38.000 --> 16:41.000 I knew you'd weaken. 16:41.000 --> 17:07.000 So did I. 17:07.000 --> 17:09.000 Good, you haven't sold it. 17:09.000 --> 17:12.000 That'll be $50, I believe. 17:12.000 --> 17:15.000 Didn't you return the statue just a few days ago? 17:15.000 --> 17:16.000 That's right. 17:16.000 --> 17:18.000 As I recall, your wife had just bought it. 17:18.000 --> 17:19.000 Yes. 17:19.000 --> 17:22.000 She bought it, you returned it, and now you want to buy it again? 17:22.000 --> 17:23.000 Yes, but... 17:23.000 --> 17:25.000 Tell me this. 17:25.000 --> 17:30.000 Has my competitor hired you people to drive me out of my mind? 17:30.000 --> 17:32.000 Look, I'd like to buy that statue. 17:32.000 --> 17:35.000 I'll sell it to you under one condition. 17:35.000 --> 17:36.000 What's that? 17:36.000 --> 17:42.000 That you sign a written statement to the effect that you will never return this statue again. 17:42.000 --> 17:43.000 Really? 17:43.000 --> 17:44.000 All right. 17:44.000 --> 17:51.000 I'll sign it. 17:51.000 --> 17:54.000 Repeat after me, please. 17:54.000 --> 17:57.000 I do solemnly swear... 17:57.000 --> 18:01.000 I do solemnly swear... 18:01.000 --> 18:05.000 Better raise your right hand. 18:05.000 --> 18:08.000 I do solemnly swear... 18:08.000 --> 18:16.000 Carol, are you in the kitchen? 18:16.000 --> 18:28.000 Carol? 18:28.000 --> 18:37.000 Oh, no. 18:37.000 --> 18:38.000 Carol? 18:38.000 --> 18:40.000 Are you upstairs, honey? 18:40.000 --> 18:41.000 Carol, look what I... 18:41.000 --> 19:06.000 I'm sorry. 19:06.000 --> 19:21.000 I'm sorry. 19:21.000 --> 19:39.000 Oh, hi, Edison doll. 19:39.000 --> 19:45.000 Don't doll me, shifty. 19:45.000 --> 19:49.000 Oh, you found the statue. 19:49.000 --> 19:52.000 Pretty sneaky, getting Carol to buy it back for you. 19:52.000 --> 19:54.000 I don't understand, darling. 19:54.000 --> 19:57.000 I returned the statue once today and I'm returning it again. 19:57.000 --> 19:59.000 But, sweetheart, that's not ours, it's Carol's. 19:59.000 --> 20:01.000 Oh, please, Wilbur returned Carol's. 20:01.000 --> 20:03.000 You bought this for yourself. 20:03.000 --> 20:05.000 I wasn't born yesterday. 20:05.000 --> 20:09.000 If you don't lower your voice, this may become exhibit A at a coroner's inquest. 20:09.000 --> 20:13.000 Kay, are you trying to tell me this is the same statue Wilbur showed me in the barn? 20:13.000 --> 20:15.000 What was he doing in the barn? 20:15.000 --> 20:17.000 I hid it in the closet. 20:17.000 --> 20:20.000 It was before I returned it to the store. 20:20.000 --> 20:22.000 Returned what to what store? 20:22.000 --> 20:26.000 Kay, when you married me, was it for love or revenge? 20:26.000 --> 20:33.000 Now, don't forget, with Little Princess, you got to break fast and stay close to the rail. 20:33.000 --> 20:34.000 Got it. 20:34.000 --> 20:37.000 Now, when do you want the jockey to go to the whip? 20:37.000 --> 20:39.000 No whips. 20:39.000 --> 20:42.000 She cries so easily. 20:42.000 --> 20:47.000 Mr. Redwoods, I was thinking maybe of using blinkers on Little Princess. What do you think? 20:47.000 --> 20:49.000 No, no blinkers. 20:49.000 --> 21:15.000 She likes to read the odds on the tote board while she's running. 21:15.000 --> 21:22.000 I got my hands. I'll put it right down. 21:22.000 --> 21:26.000 Carol, where are you? 21:26.000 --> 21:37.000 Carol, are you upstairs? 21:37.000 --> 21:59.000 Not again. 21:59.000 --> 22:03.000 When I put the statue in the closet, that was just before you brought it back. 22:03.000 --> 22:06.000 I was keeping it for Carol until Wilbur gave her the money. 22:06.000 --> 22:08.000 But when you brought it back, he hadn't given in yet. 22:08.000 --> 22:10.000 So it was premature. 22:10.000 --> 22:12.000 Don't you understand? 22:12.000 --> 22:14.000 Is it necessary that I do? 22:14.000 --> 22:17.000 I'm sorry, darling. I should have told you. 22:17.000 --> 22:18.000 Kay. 22:18.000 --> 22:27.000 Forgive my busting in like this, but why do you keep putting this back in my living room? 22:27.000 --> 22:29.000 It was a mistake, dear. 22:29.000 --> 22:32.000 We didn't realize that you'd gone back and bought the statue again. 22:32.000 --> 22:35.000 Me? But I didn't buy it back. 22:35.000 --> 22:42.000 No? Who did? 22:42.000 --> 22:44.000 Wilbur. 22:44.000 --> 22:46.000 Oh, isn't he sweet? 22:46.000 --> 22:48.000 He wanted to surprise me. 22:48.000 --> 22:50.000 You've certainly got a wonderful husband. 22:50.000 --> 22:52.000 And I'm going to tell it to him, too. 22:52.000 --> 22:57.000 Excuse me. 22:57.000 --> 22:59.000 How's your head, Addison? 22:59.000 --> 23:01.000 Kay, do me a favor. 23:01.000 --> 23:03.000 Sure, sweet. 23:03.000 --> 23:26.000 Anytime you want to help your neighbor, give me five minutes' notice so I can leave town. 23:26.000 --> 23:28.000 You put that there. 23:28.000 --> 23:30.000 What's going on around here? 23:30.000 --> 23:32.000 Thank you, darling. 23:32.000 --> 23:37.000 But I have been spending too much money lately, and, well, maybe we should take it back to the store. 23:37.000 --> 23:41.000 Oh, no. The way that storekeeper feels, I'd be safer taking you back to your mother. 23:41.000 --> 23:43.000 I'm afraid you can't, darling. 23:43.000 --> 23:44.000 Hmm? 23:44.000 --> 23:46.000 You know what they stamped in our marriage license? 23:46.000 --> 23:47.000 What? 23:47.000 --> 23:59.000 Absolutely no returns. 23:59.000 --> 24:02.000 Well, thanks for calling, Mr. King. 24:02.000 --> 24:04.000 Ed, get off that phone. 24:04.000 --> 24:06.000 Good news, Wilbur. 24:06.000 --> 24:16.000 My niece won her first race. 24:16.000 --> 24:19.000 Ed, you promised you would cut out those long-distance calls. 24:19.000 --> 24:22.000 Relax. I'm paying for this one. 24:22.000 --> 24:23.000 You? 24:23.000 --> 24:28.000 The trainer bet five for me, and I won a hundred bucks. 24:28.000 --> 24:30.000 You did? 24:30.000 --> 24:32.000 Yep. 24:32.000 --> 24:35.000 When is your niece going to be running again, huh? 24:35.000 --> 24:48.000 Wouldn't you like to know? 24:48.000 --> 24:57.000 A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and no one can talk to a horse, of course, that is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed. 24:57.000 --> 25:01.000 So write to the source and ask the horse. He'll give you the answer that you endorse. 25:01.000 --> 25:05.000 He's always on a steady course. Talk to Mr. Ed. 25:05.000 --> 25:09.000 Keep your yakety yak in the street and waste your time a day. 25:09.000 --> 25:13.000 But Mr. Ed will never speak unless he has something to say. 25:13.000 --> 25:18.000 A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and this one will talk to his voice, his horse. 25:18.000 --> 25:22.000 You never heard of a talking horse? 25:22.000 --> 25:24.000 Well, listen to this. 25:24.000 --> 25:32.000 I am Mr. Ed. 25:32.000 --> 25:59.000 This has been a Filmways television presentation.