1 00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,067 [J‘J‘] 2 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:34,652 [ANNOUNCER 1] In the fifth century, 3 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,113 as the once-mighty Roman Empire crumbled, 4 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:39,278 the soft underbelly of Western Europe 5 00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:41,071 la y inviting/y exposed 6 00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:43,240 to the barbarian hordes to the east. 7 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:44,499 Alaric the Visigoth, 8 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,410 Gaiseric the Vandal, 9 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,829 and Theodoric the Ostrogoth in turn swept westward 10 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,539 in a reign of terror. 11 00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:54,301 But none surpassed in power and cruelty 12 00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:56,636 the mighty Attila the Hun. 13 00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:00,974 [ANNOUNCER 2] Ladies and gentlemen, it's The Attila the Hun Show. 14 00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:05,266 [TONY ROMEO'S "JUST A LITTLE LOVE" PLAYING] 15 00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:13,521 J‘ With a little love Just a little love J‘ 16 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,735 J‘ Open you heart J‘ 17 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:18,150 J‘ And see where it's needed I 18 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:25,624 J‘ Feel it in your heart When you've succeeded J‘ 19 00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:28,536 J‘ Making all the sounds Of love I 20 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:33,128 J‘ Getting some sun And you're alive J‘ 21 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:36,088 J‘ Making all the clouds Roll away J‘ 22 00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:39,676 J‘ Letting some sun In your life J‘ 23 00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:42,683 J‘ And you can light J‘ 24 00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:46,520 J‘ Light up The gloomiest night I 25 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:50,399 J‘ Color the gloomiest day J‘ 26 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:54,357 J‘ Chase all your cares away J‘ 27 00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:58,531 J‘ With a little love Just a little love J‘ 28 00:01:58,577 --> 00:02:01,535 J‘ With a little love J‘ J‘ Just a little love I 29 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:04,037 J‘ With a little love J‘ 30 00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,532 [ANNOUNCER 1] In the second quarter of the fifth century, 31 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:09,034 the Huns became a byword for merciless savagery. 32 00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:11,624 Their khan was the mighty warrior Attila. 33 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:16,383 With his devastating armies, he swept across Central Europe. 34 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:18,711 [DOORBELL RINGS] 35 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:24,637 Oh, darling, I'm home. 36 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:28,019 Hello, darling. Have a busy day at the office? 37 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:29,805 Not at all bad. 38 00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:33,062 Another merciless sweep across Central Europe. 39 00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,731 [BOTH LAUGH] 40 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:37,738 Well...| won't say I'm glad to see you, 41 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:41,484 but, boy, am I glad to see you. 42 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,120 [CANNED APPLAUSE] 43 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,036 Hi, Daddy. 44 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,672 Hi, Daddy. 45 00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,376 Hi, Jenny. Hi, Robby. 46 00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:00,635 [CANNED APPLAUSE] 47 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,093 Hey, I've got a present for you two kids 48 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,761 in that bag. 49 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:14,266 I want you kids to get ahead. 50 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:15,733 [CANNED LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE] 51 00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:21,319 Here you are, Mr. Hun! 52 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:26,452 Hi, Uncle Tom. 53 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,617 There's a whole horde of them 54 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,458 marauding Visigoths to see y'all. 55 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:38,048 [J‘J‘] 56 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:40,004 And now for something completely different. 57 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,042 It's... 58 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:50,098 [ANNOUNCER] Monty Python's Flying Circus. 59 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:18,538 [ANNOUNCER 1] Yes, it’s Attila the Nun. 60 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,173 [CRASH] 61 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:21,799 [ANNOUNCER 2] A simple country girl 62 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,673 who took a vow of eternal brutality. 63 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,511 [ALL GRUNTING] 64 00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,470 Nurse. 65 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:34,479 Hello, Miss Norris. How are you? 66 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,230 Not too bad, thank you, doctor. 67 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,437 Yes, well, I think I'd better examine you. 68 00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:41,320 Um, what are they doing here? 69 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,070 [DOCTOR] Uh, i-it's all right, 70 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,072 they're students. Um... 71 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,609 Light, please, nurse. 72 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:52,034 Oh, and, uh, music too. 73 00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,373 [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER] 74 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:54,456 Breathe in... 75 00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:56,368 out. 76 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:58,495 In... 77 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:02,048 In... [APPLAUSE] 78 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,382 Thank you, thank you. 79 00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:09,426 Charles Crompton, the stripping doctor. 80 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,058 And next, gentlemen and ladies, 81 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:15,641 here at the Peephole Club, for the very first time, 82 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,555 a very big welcome, please, 83 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:21,776 for the secretary of state for commonwealth affairs. 84 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,478 Good evening. 85 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,068 Tonight, I'd like to restate our position 86 00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:26,652 on agricultural subsidies 87 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,238 and their effect on our commonwealth relationships. 88 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,743 [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING] 89 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,620 Now, although we believe theoretically 90 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,123 in ending guaranteed farm prices, 91 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,079 we also believe in the need 92 00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,703 for the corresponding, uh, import levy 93 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:43,590 to maintain consumer prices at a realistic, uh, level. 94 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,754 But this would have the effect 95 00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:47,635 of consolidating our gains 96 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:52,345 of the previous fiscal year prior to the entry. 97 00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:57,388 But I pledge that, should we join the Common Market, 98 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,433 even maintaining the present position on subsidies, 99 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:05,650 we will neverjeopardize, we will never compromise 100 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,940 our unique relationship 101 00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:10,484 with the commonwealth countries. 102 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:15,281 A prices structure related to any, uh, import charges 103 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:17,624 will be systematically adjusted 104 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:20,081 uh, to the particular requirements 105 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:22,291 of our commonwealth partners, 106 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:25,127 so that, together, 107 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,126 we will maintain a positive 108 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,260 and mutually beneficial alliance 109 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:33,140 in world trade and for world peace. 110 00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:35,475 Thank you and good night. 111 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,719 [APPLAUSE] 112 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,101 Wasn't he marvelous? 113 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:45,315 The secretary of state for commonwealth affairs. 114 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:46,607 And now, gentlemen and ladies, 115 00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,568 a very big welcome, please, 116 00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:52,155 for the minister of pensions 117 00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:54,073 and social security! 118 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,363 [ARABIC MUSIC PLAYING] 119 00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:02,252 [J‘J‘] 120 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:04,538 [ANNOUNCER] Yes, today in Britain, 121 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:08,504 there is a new wave of interest in politics and politicians. 122 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:12,341 Well, we're in it for the lobbying, you know. 123 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:14,631 We just love lobbying. 124 00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:18,268 And the debates. You know, a good debate is just fabulous. 125 00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,178 Well, I've been going with ministers 126 00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:21,771 for five years now, 127 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:24,190 and, uh, you know, I think they're wonderful. 128 00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:27,477 Oh, yes. I like civil servants. 129 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,066 - Oh, yes, they're nice. - Yeah. 130 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:32,607 - |-- I like the Speaker. - Oh, yeah. 131 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:35,403 I like Black Rod. 132 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,537 [ANNOU NCER] What do their parents think? 133 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:40,156 Well, she's broken our hearts, the little bastard. 134 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,620 She's been nothing but trouble, 135 00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:43,126 and if she comes round here again, 136 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,628 l'll kick her teeth in. 137 00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,460 [DOOR CLOSES] 138 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,545 Have you been talking to television again, dear? 139 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,167 Yes, | bloody told them. 140 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,210 What about? 141 00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:53,548 Oh, ldon't know. 142 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,213 Oh, was it Reginald Bosanquet? 143 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,635 No, no, no. 144 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,095 Did he have his head all bandaged? 145 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,510 No, it wasn't like that. 146 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,269 They had lights and cameras and tape recorders, all that sort of thing. 147 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,101 Oh, that'll be Ray Baxter, 148 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,562 and the boys and girls from Tomorrow’s World. 149 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:09,648 Oh, I prefer Reginald Bosanquet. There's not so many of them. 150 00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,484 - Hm. - [DOORBELL RINGS] 151 00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:14,525 Oh, that'll be the ratcatcher. 152 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:15,987 Hello. Mr. and Mrs. Concrete? 153 00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,322 - Yes. - Yes. 154 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,283 Well, well, well, well, well, 155 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,744 well, well, well, well, well, well, 156 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,742 how very nice. 157 00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,372 Allow me to introduce myself. 158 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,128 I am Leslie Ames, 159 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,084 the chairman of the Test Selection Committee. 160 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:31,128 And I'm very pleased to be able to tell you 161 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:32,963 that your flat has been chosen 162 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,755 as the venue for the third test against the West Indies. 163 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,180 Really? 164 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,340 No, it wasjust a little joke. 165 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:39,633 I'm the council ratcatcher. 166 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,392 Oh, yes, we've been expecting you. 167 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:43,645 Oh. I gather you've got a little rodental problem. 168 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,227 Oh, blimey, you'd think he was awake all the night, 169 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:48,062 scrabbling down by the wainscoting. 170 00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,647 Mm. that's an interesting word, isn't it? 171 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:50,731 What? 172 00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:57,450 Sounds like a little Dorset village. 173 00:08:57,454 --> 00:09:00,161 Wainscoting. 174 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,288 We've been mentioned on telly! 175 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,573 Uh, where is it worst? 176 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,287 Well, uh, down here, 177 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,035 - you can usually hear them. - Ah. Shh. 178 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:08,373 Sh. Sh. Sh. 179 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,458 Sh. 180 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:12,048 [SHEEP BLEATING] 181 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,709 No, that's sheep you've got there. 182 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:17,963 No, that's definitely sheep. 183 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:19,555 - Bit of a puzzle, really. - Is it? 184 00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:21,341 Yeah, well, I mean, it's A, 185 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,259 not gonna respond to a nice piece of cheese, 186 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:25,269 and B, it isn't gonna fit into a trap. 187 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:27,146 Whoa. What you gonna do? 188 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,648 Well, we'll have to look for the hole. 189 00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,482 Oh, yeah. 190 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,019 Mm. Oh. 191 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,734 Oi. There's one here. 192 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,614 [LESLIE] No, no, no. No, that's mice. 193 00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,994 Oh. This is what we're after. 194 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,280 Move that. 195 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,789 Yup. 196 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:47,701 [MAN] Oh, yeah. 197 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,619 E-excuse me, is the third test in here? 198 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:51,628 No, no, that was a joke. It was a joke. 199 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:53,505 It was a joke. 200 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:58,420 Right. Well, I'm going in the wainscoting. 201 00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:00,009 They said it again! 202 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,552 Lay down some sheep poison. 203 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,432 Ooh. 204 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:06,060 [SHEEP BLEATING] 205 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,221 [BANG] 206 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,559 [GROANING] 207 00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:14,443 It's got a gun. 208 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,696 Oh. Blimey. 209 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:20,404 Now, normally, a sheep is a placid, timid creature, 210 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:21,568 but you've got a killer. 211 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,550 It's an entirely new strain ofsheep. 212 00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:40,052 A killer sheep that can not only hold a rifle, 213 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:42,388 but is also a first-class shot. 214 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:44,508 But where are they coming from, professor? 215 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,347 That I don't know. 216 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,637 | just don't know. 217 00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:51,397 I really just don't know. 218 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:54,814 I'm afraid I really just don't know. 219 00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:58,776 I'm afraid even I really just don't know. 220 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:03,239 l have to tell you I'm afraid even I really just don't know. 221 00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:05,578 I'm afraid I have to tell you that-- 222 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,327 Thank you. 223 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:10,116 I don't know. 224 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,582 Our only clue is this portion of wolf's clothing, 225 00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:13,578 which the killer sheep-- 226 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,080 Was wearing. 227 00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,047 --in yesterday's raid on Selfridges. 228 00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:20,256 l'll carry out tests on it straightaway, professor. 229 00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:23,297 [WEST-INDIAN ACCENT] Hello, is the third test in here, please, man? 230 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,807 Professor, there are some cricketers in the laboratory. 231 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,763 This may be even more serious 232 00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:34,811 than even I had at first been imagining. 233 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:38,520 What a strange, strange line. 234 00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:39,813 There's no time to waste. 235 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,273 Get me the commissioner of police. 236 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,441 Yes, sir. 237 00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:47,366 No, no, on the phone! 238 00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:50,532 Look of fear! 239 00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:52,246 Another strange line. 240 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:53,626 Look out, Miss Garter Oil! 241 00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,377 Professor, what is it? What have you seen? 242 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:57,459 Look, it's there, in the doorway. 243 00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:58,752 [SCREAMS] 244 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,167 Arthur X, leader of the Pennine Gang. 245 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,212 Don't nobody move. 246 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:06,381 We're reverting to putting Plan A into operation. 247 00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,265 Mugsy, Louie, Luau. 248 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:14,973 [GUNSHOTS] 249 00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:20,312 [TIRES SCREECH] 250 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,564 Next, Basil. You and the kid. Move. 251 00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:24,357 [GUNSHOTS] 252 00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:31,247 Okay, boys, this time we go for the heavy stuff. 253 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,621 [BANJO MUSIC PLAYING] 254 00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,854 But soon the killer sheep began to infect other animals 255 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,685 with its startling intelligence. 256 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,649 Pussycats began to arrange mortgages. 257 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:01,027 Cocker spaniels began to design supermarkets. 258 00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:04,155 And parrots started to announce television programs. 259 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,033 It's 8:00, and time for the news. 260 00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:11,367 Good evening. Here is the news for parrots. 261 00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:14,081 No parrots were involved in an accident on the M1 today 262 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,038 when a lorry carrying high-octane fuel 263 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:18,752 was in collision with a bollard. 264 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,256 That is a bollard and not a parrot. 265 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,042 A spokesman for parrots said he was glad 266 00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:27,428 no parrots were involved. 267 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:31,182 The minister of technology today met the three Russian leaders 268 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:35,470 to discuss a £4 million airliner deal. 269 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,138 None of them went in the cage 270 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,681 or swung on the little wooden trapeze, 271 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:39,815 or ate any of the nice millet seed. 272 00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:42,394 Yum, yum. 273 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,020 That's the end of the news. 274 00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,404 Now our programs for parrots continue 275 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:47,486 with part three of A Tale of Two Cities, 276 00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:51,027 specially adapted for parrots by Joey Boy. 277 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,241 The story so far: 278 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,615 Dr. Manette is in England after 18 years in the Bastille. 279 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,249 His daughter, Lu-- Lucie, 280 00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:59,206 awaits her lover, Charles Darnay, 281 00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,495 whom we just learnt is, in fact, the nephew 282 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,413 of the Marquis de St. Evremond, 283 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,425 whose cruelty had placed Manette in the Bastille. 284 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:09,213 Darnay arrives to find Lucie tending her aged father. 285 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,681 [HIGH-PITCHED SQUAWK] Hello. Hello. 286 00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:22,146 - Hello. - Hello, hello, hello. 287 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,026 - Who's a pretty boy, then? - Hello, hello. 288 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,278 - Who's a pretty boy? - Ooh. 289 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,691 - Hello, hello. - Ooh. 290 00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:28,231 Hello, hello. 291 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,616 - I'm a pretty parrot. - Hello, hello. 292 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:35,740 And while that's going on, here is the news for gibbons. 293 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,328 No gibbons were involved in... 294 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,583 [ANNOUNCER] While that's going on, 295 00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,209 here from Westminster 296 00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:41,744 is a parliamentary report for humans. 297 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:44,005 In the debate, a spokesman accused 298 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,460 the government of being silly 299 00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:47,459 and doing not-at—aII-good things. 300 00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:50,257 The member accepted this in a spirit of healthy criticism, 301 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:53,298 but denied that he'd ever been naughty with a choirboy. 302 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,470 Angry shouts of "What about the watermelon, then?" 303 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:58,311 were ordered by the Speaker stricken from the record 304 00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:00,642 and put into a brown paper bag in the Iavvy. 305 00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,481 Any further interruptions would be cut off 306 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,768 and distributed amongst the poor. 307 00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,148 For the government, a front-bench spokesman said 308 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,568 the agricultural tariff would have to be raised, 309 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,153 and he fancied a bit. 310 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,491 Furthermore, he argued, 311 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,156 this would give a large boost to farmers 312 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:16,196 and a lot of fun to him, his friend 313 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,410 and Miss Moist of Knightsbridge. 314 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,324 From the back benches 315 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,327 there were opposition shouts of "Postcards for sale" 316 00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:25,045 and a healthy cry of "Who likes a sailor, then?" 317 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,457 from the minister without portfolio. 318 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,421 Replying, the shadow minister said 319 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,426 he could no longer deny the rumors, 320 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:34,088 but he and the dachshund were very happy. 321 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,349 And in any case, he argued, rhubarb was cheap, 322 00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,718 and what was the harm in a sauna bath? 323 00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:42,556 --were not involved. 324 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:45,600 The minister of technology met the three Russian leaders today 325 00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:49,191 to discuss a £4 million airliner deal. 326 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:51,029 None of them were indigenous to Australia, 327 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,531 carried their babies in pouches, 328 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,784 or ate any of those yummy eucalyptus leaves. 329 00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,785 Yum, yum. 330 00:15:56,831 --> 00:16:00,699 That's the news for wombats, And now, Attila the Bun. 331 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:03,208 [BUN YELLING] 332 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,209 Well, that's all for Attila the Bun. 333 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,632 And now...idiots. 334 00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:16,263 [J‘J‘] 335 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,481 [ANNOU NCER] Arthur Figgis is an idiot. 336 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,233 A village idiot. 337 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,529 Well, | feel very keenly 338 00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:33,985 that the idiot is a part 339 00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:35,445 of the old village system, 340 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,032 and as such has a vital role to play 341 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,071 in the modern rural society. 342 00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,162 Because, you see-- 343 00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,745 [BLITHERING] 344 00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:46,331 And the birds fly nightly on the-- Thank you, vicar. 345 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:49,042 Because there is this very real need in society 346 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:51,753 for someone whom almost anyone 347 00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:53,001 can look down on and-- 348 00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:54,089 And ridicule. 349 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:56,299 And this is the role that-- 350 00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,007 Nightly ramble... 351 00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:00,641 Oogly—oogly—oogly—ooh! 352 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,472 Thank you, Mrs. Thompson. 353 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:05,104 This is the role that l and members of my family 354 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,063 have fulfilled in this village 355 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,270 for the past 400 years. 356 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,231 Ah, good morning, Mr. Jenkins. 357 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,441 ICI have increased their half-yearly dividend, | see. 358 00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,110 Yes, splendid. 359 00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:17,275 That's Mr. Jenkins. He's another idiot. 360 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,159 And so, you see, the-- 361 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:23,164 The idiot does provide a vital psychosocial service 362 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,666 for this community. 363 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,292 Oh, excuse me, 364 00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:29,161 uh, a coach party's just arrived. 365 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,455 I shall have to fall off the wall, I'm afraid. 366 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,421 [GLASS BREAKS] 367 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:43,013 [ANNOUNCER] Arthur takes idioting seriously. 368 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,723 He is up at 6:00 every morning 369 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:46,603 working on special training equipment 370 00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:49,265 designed to keep him silly. 371 00:17:56,576 --> 00:18:00,444 And, of course, he takes great pride in his appearance. 372 00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:07,408 Like the doctor, 373 00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:09,372 - the blacksmith, the carpenter... - Ah! 374 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,413 ...Mr. Figgis is an important figure in this village. 375 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:15,003 And like them, he uses the local bank. 376 00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:18,089 Yes, we have quite a number of idiots banking here. 377 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:20,471 [ANNOUNCER] What kind of money is there in idioting? 378 00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,632 Well, nowadays, a really blithering idiot 379 00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:25,017 can make anything up to £10,000 a year, 380 00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:27,974 if he's the head of some big industrial combine. 381 00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:30,015 But of course, the more old-fashioned idiot 382 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:33,025 still refuses to take money. 383 00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:35,771 He takes bits of string, wood, 384 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:39,528 dead budgerigars, sparrows, anything, 385 00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:42,694 But it does make the cashier's job very difficult. 386 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,533 Of course, they're fools to themselves. 387 00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:46,573 The rate of interest over 10 years 388 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:50,369 on a piece of moss or a dead vole is almost negligible. 389 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,290 - Mr. Brando. - Yes? 390 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:54,001 Hollywood on the phone. 391 00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:56,132 Uh, I'll take it in the office. 392 00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:59,590 [ANNOUNCER] But Mr. Figgis is no ordinary idiot. 393 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,175 He is a lecturer in idiocy 394 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:03,259 at the University of East Anglia. 395 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:06,221 Here he is taking a class of third-year students. 396 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:09,103 [ALL BLITHERING] 397 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,728 [ANNOU NCER] After three years of study 398 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:17,061 these apprentice idiots receive a diploma of idiocy, 399 00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:20,151 a handful of mud 400 00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:22,066 and a kick on the head. 401 00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:24,569 But some of the older idiots resent the graduate idiot. 402 00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:27,238 I'm a completely self-taught idiot. 403 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:30,124 I mean, "Ooh-ah, roo-ah, roo-ah, roo-ah!" 404 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,625 Nobody does that anymore. 405 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,252 Anybody who did that around here 406 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,246 would be laughed off the street. 407 00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:38,590 No, uh, nowadays, people want something wittier. 408 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,391 [ANNOUNCER] Kevin O'Nassis works largely with walls. 409 00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:49,768 Whoa! 410 00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:52,104 [KEVIN] Well, you gotta know what you're doing. 411 00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:53,980 I mean, some people think I'm mad. 412 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:57,109 Villagers say I'm mad, tourists say I'm mad. 413 00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:59,695 Well, I am mad. But I'm naturally mad. 414 00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:01,105 I don 't use any chemicals. 415 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,658 [ANNOUNCER] But what of the idiot’s private life? 416 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:08,367 How about his relationship with women? 417 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:11,283 Well, I may be an idiot, but I'm no fool. 418 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:13,417 [J‘J‘] 419 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:15,123 [ANNOUNCER] But the village idiot's dirty smock 420 00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:17,163 and wall-falling are a far cry 421 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,377 - from the modern world of the urban idiot. - Hey! 422 00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:22,544 What kinds of backgrounds do these city idiots come from? 423 00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:25,338 [NASAL AC CENT] 424 00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:26,471 Woo! 425 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:28,591 [LAUGHING] 426 00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:33,104 Uh! Uh! 427 00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:36,562 [POSH ACCENT] 428 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:38,146 Uh... 429 00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:42,404 [HIGH-PITCHED ACCENT] Well, uh... 430 00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:44,190 [POMPOUS ACCENT] Well, uh... 431 00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:51,406 The headquarters of these urban idiots 432 00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:53,495 is here in St. John's Wood. 433 00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:57,086 Inside, they can enjoy the company of other idiots 434 00:20:57,131 --> 00:21:00,339 and watch special performances of ritual idioting. 435 00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:08,471 [LIGHT APPLAUSE] 436 00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:10,257 Well left. 437 00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:11,721 Well played. 438 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,557 Well, well. 439 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:14,686 Well-bred. 440 00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:17,181 [GROANING] 441 00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:21,352 [JIM] Good afternoon and welcome to Lord's 442 00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:23,354 on the second day of the first test. 443 00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:26,152 So far today, we've had five hours batting from England, 444 00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:28,534 and already, they're naught for naught. 445 00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:31,529 Uh, Cowdrey is not out naught and Naughton is not in. 446 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,826 Knott is in and is not not out. 447 00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:36,034 Naughton of Northants got a nasty knock 448 00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:37,285 on the nut in the nets last night, 449 00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:38,623 but it's nothing of note. 450 00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:40,503 Uh, next in is Nat Newton of Notts. 451 00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:42,460 Not Nutting, Nutting's at 9. 452 00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:47,095 Nutting knocked neatie nightie knock knock nar nar... 453 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,595 Anyway, um, 454 00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:50,472 England have played extremely well for nothing, 455 00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:52,224 not a sausage, 456 00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:54,139 in reply to Iceland's first innings total 457 00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:56,520 of 722 for 2 declared, 458 00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,180 uh, scored yesterday 459 00:21:58,234 --> 00:22:00,145 disappointingly fast in only 21 overs, 460 00:22:00,194 --> 00:22:02,526 with lots of wild slogging and boundaries and-- 461 00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:04,482 And all sorts of rubbishy things. 462 00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:07,148 But the main thing is that England have made 463 00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:09,362 an absolutely outstanding start so far. 464 00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:11,072 [GROANS SHARPLY, THEN INHALES SHARPLY]] 465 00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:12,657 Peter? 466 00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:14,571 Uh, splendid. Just listen to those thighs. 467 00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:17,162 And now it's the Northeast's turn with the samba. 468 00:22:17,211 --> 00:22:18,997 - Brian. - Uh, rather. 469 00:22:19,046 --> 00:22:22,413 l'm reminded of the story of Gubby Allen in '32-- 470 00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:24,585 Oh, shut up, or we'll Close the bar. 471 00:22:26,136 --> 00:22:28,092 And now Bo Wildeburg is running up 472 00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:29,503 to bowl to Cowdrey. 473 00:22:29,557 --> 00:22:31,798 He runs up, he bowls to Cowdrey, 474 00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:33,348 and no shot at all. 475 00:22:33,394 --> 00:22:35,760 Extremely well-not—played there. 476 00:22:35,771 --> 00:22:38,387 Yes, beautifully not-done-anything-about. 477 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,806 A superb shot of no kind whatsoever. 478 00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,436 I well remember Plum Warner 479 00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:45,311 leaving a very similar ball alone in 1732. 480 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,730 Oh, shut up, long-nose. 481 00:22:49,451 --> 00:22:51,066 And now it's Bo Wildeburg, 482 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:53,657 running in again to bowl to Cowdrey. 483 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:56,664 He runs in. He bowls to Cowdrey. 484 00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:58,290 And no shot at all. 485 00:22:58,294 --> 00:23:00,285 A superb display of inertia there. 486 00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:02,623 And that's the end of the over. And drinks. 487 00:23:02,673 --> 00:23:04,288 Gin and tonic, please. 488 00:23:04,341 --> 00:23:07,003 No, no, the players are having drinks. 489 00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,963 And now, uh, what's happening? 490 00:23:09,013 --> 00:23:11,049 I think Cowdrey's being taken-- 491 00:23:11,098 --> 00:23:13,464 Yes, Cowdrey is being carried off. 492 00:23:13,517 --> 00:23:14,597 Well, I never. 493 00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:16,429 Now, who's in next? 494 00:23:16,478 --> 00:23:18,139 It should be number three, Natt Newton of Notts. 495 00:23:18,147 --> 00:23:20,479 Get your hand off my thigh, West. 496 00:23:20,482 --> 00:23:23,189 Uh, no, I don't think it is. I think it's, uh... 497 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:25,100 It's a sofa. No, it's a Chesterfield! 498 00:23:25,154 --> 00:23:27,315 The green Chesterfield is coming in at number three 499 00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:30,030 to take guard now. 500 00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:32,612 I well remember a similar divan being brought on 501 00:23:32,661 --> 00:23:35,528 at Headingley in 9 BC. against the darkies. 502 00:23:35,581 --> 00:23:37,492 Oh, shut up, elephant-snout. 503 00:23:37,499 --> 00:23:40,081 And now, the green, uh, Chesterfield has taken guard. 504 00:23:40,127 --> 00:23:42,243 And, uh... Ah, Iceland are putting on 505 00:23:42,296 --> 00:23:44,036 their spin-dryer to bowl. 506 00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:45,829 The spin-dryer moving back to its mark. 507 00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:47,373 It runs up to the wicket, 508 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:50,213 bowls to the table... 509 00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:52,173 A little bit short, but it's coming in a bit there, 510 00:23:52,181 --> 00:23:54,137 and it's hit him on the pad! 511 00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:56,424 There's an appeal. And the table is out, leg before wicket. 512 00:23:56,477 --> 00:24:00,015 That is England naught for one. 513 00:24:00,064 --> 00:24:03,682 [ANNOUNCER] And now we leave Lord's and go over to Epsom for the 3:00. 514 00:24:03,734 --> 00:24:06,271 [COMMENTATOR] Well, here at Epsom, we take up the running, 515 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,311 50 yards of this mile-and-a-half race to go. 516 00:24:08,364 --> 00:24:10,275 It's the wash basin in the lead from WC pedestal. 517 00:24:10,324 --> 00:24:11,780 Tucked in nicely there is the sofa, 518 00:24:11,992 --> 00:24:13,573 going well with Joanna Southcott's box 519 00:24:13,619 --> 00:24:16,076 making a good run from hat stand on the rails. 520 00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:17,736 And Standard lamp is fading fast. 521 00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:20,031 Wash basin taking up the running, strongly pressed. 522 00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:22,158 At the post, it's the wash basin from WC 523 00:24:22,211 --> 00:24:23,701 then sofa, hat stand, Standard lamp, 524 00:24:23,754 --> 00:24:26,120 and lastly, Joanna Southcott's box. 525 00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:28,755 [IN UNISON] Open the box! Open the box! 526 00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:32,544 Open the box! Open the box! 527 00:24:32,554 --> 00:24:34,761 Open the box! 528 00:24:34,807 --> 00:24:38,516 Can we have the next contender, please? 529 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,300 [CHUCKLING] 530 00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:44,346 [CONTINUES CHUCKLING] 531 00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:48,441 Good evening, madam. And your name is...? 532 00:24:48,487 --> 00:24:50,478 Yes, yes. 533 00:24:50,531 --> 00:24:53,614 - Ha-ha. And what's your name? - I go to Church regularly. Mm. 534 00:24:53,659 --> 00:24:55,570 Jolly good. I see. 535 00:24:55,577 --> 00:24:58,034 And which prize do you have particular eyes on this evening? 536 00:24:59,748 --> 00:25:00,988 The blow on the head. 537 00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:02,497 - Just there. - Jolly good. 538 00:25:02,543 --> 00:25:04,124 - Well, your first question... - Mm. 539 00:25:04,169 --> 00:25:06,000 ...for the blow on the head this evening is: 540 00:25:06,046 --> 00:25:09,334 What great opponent of Cartesian dualism 541 00:25:09,383 --> 00:25:12,341 resists the reduction of psychological phenomena 542 00:25:12,386 --> 00:25:14,422 to physical states? 543 00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:15,510 I don't know that! 544 00:25:15,556 --> 00:25:16,591 Well, have a guess. 545 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:17,720 Oh. 546 00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:19,097 Uh, Henri Bergson. 547 00:25:19,143 --> 00:25:21,008 Is the correct answer! 548 00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:23,017 That was lucky. I never even heard of him. 549 00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:24,553 - Jolly good. - I don't like darkies. 550 00:25:24,606 --> 00:25:27,097 [LAUGHING] 551 00:25:29,445 --> 00:25:30,525 Who does? 552 00:25:30,571 --> 00:25:32,277 [LAUGHING] 553 00:25:32,322 --> 00:25:34,153 And now, your second quesfion 554 00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:35,609 for the blow on the head is: 555 00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:38,484 What is the main food that penguins eat? 556 00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:39,617 Pork luncheon meat. 557 00:25:39,621 --> 00:25:40,781 No. 558 00:25:40,789 --> 00:25:42,245 - Spam? - No, no, no, no. 559 00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:44,031 What do penguins eat? Penguins. 560 00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:45,449 - Penguins? - Yes. 561 00:25:45,461 --> 00:25:47,452 - They eat penguins? - No, no, no. 562 00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:49,460 - They eat themselves? - No, no, what do penguins eat? 563 00:25:49,506 --> 00:25:50,666 Horses! Armchairs! 564 00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:52,502 No, no. What do penguins eat? 565 00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:54,291 - Oh, penguins. - Penguins. 566 00:25:54,344 --> 00:25:56,130 - Cannelloni. - No. 567 00:25:56,138 --> 00:25:58,720 Lasagna, moussaka, lobster thermidor, 568 00:25:58,766 --> 00:26:00,472 escalopes de veau a l’estragon 569 00:26:00,476 --> 00:26:02,012 avec endives gratinéed with cheese. 570 00:26:02,061 --> 00:26:04,143 [LAUGHING] No. I'll give you a clue. 571 00:26:04,188 --> 00:26:05,303 Oh. 572 00:26:06,607 --> 00:26:08,268 Brian Close. 573 00:26:08,317 --> 00:26:10,353 [LAUGHING] No, no. 574 00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:13,485 - Brian Inglis? Brian Johnson? Bryan Forbes? - No, no, no. 575 00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:15,521 - Nanette Newman. - No. 576 00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:19,658 What swims in the sea and gets caught in nets? 577 00:26:19,703 --> 00:26:21,989 - Henri Bergson. - No! 578 00:26:22,039 --> 00:26:24,200 Goats. UndenNater goats, with snorkels and flippers. 579 00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:26,035 - No. - A buffalo with an aqualung. 580 00:26:26,085 --> 00:26:27,700 - No. - Oh, Reginald Maudling. 581 00:26:27,753 --> 00:26:29,664 Yes, that's near enough. I'll give you that. 582 00:26:29,671 --> 00:26:32,504 Right. Now. Uh, Mrs. Scum, you have won your prize. 583 00:26:32,508 --> 00:26:35,215 Do you still want the blow on the head? 584 00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:36,466 Yes, yes. 585 00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:38,048 I'll offer you a poke in the eye. 586 00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:39,507 No, I want the blow on the head. 587 00:26:39,515 --> 00:26:41,096 - A punch in the throat? - No. 588 00:26:41,141 --> 00:26:42,381 All right, then, a kick in the kneecap. 589 00:26:42,434 --> 00:26:43,799 - No. - Mrs. Scum, 590 00:26:44,019 --> 00:26:46,351 I'm offering you a boot in the teeth 591 00:26:46,396 --> 00:26:48,136 and a dagger up the strap. 592 00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:49,726 Oh. 593 00:26:49,775 --> 00:26:51,481 - Hm. - [WOMAN 1] Blow on the head! 594 00:26:51,527 --> 00:26:53,188 [WOMAN 2] Take the blow on the head! 595 00:26:53,237 --> 00:26:55,353 Oh. Oh, o-okay. I'll take the blow on the head. 596 00:26:55,364 --> 00:26:56,695 Very well, then, Mrs. Scum. 597 00:26:56,698 --> 00:26:59,030 You have won tonight's star prize: 598 00:26:59,034 --> 00:27:01,650 the blow on the head! 599 00:27:01,703 --> 00:27:04,194 — [LAUGHING] — [DING] 600 00:27:05,374 --> 00:27:07,365 - [SCREAMS] — [LAUGHS] 601 00:27:08,418 --> 00:27:11,376 [J‘J‘] 602 00:27:40,367 --> 00:27:41,356 [FART]