1 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:38,160 [APPLAUSE] 2 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,838 [J‘J‘J‘] 3 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,838 -And now... -|t's... 4 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:02,722 ANNOUNCER: Monty Python's Flying Circuses. 5 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,497 NARRATOR: The Adventures of Biggles. 6 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:35,088 Part 1: Biggles Dictates a Letter. 7 00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:38,091 Miss Bladder, take a letter. 8 00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,596 Yes, Sefior Biggles. 9 00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:42,508 Don't call me "sefior"! I'm not a Spanish person. 10 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:43,759 You must call me "Mr. Biggles", 11 00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:45,473 or "Group Captain Biggles" 12 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:48,013 or "Mary Biggles", if I'm dressed as my wife. 13 00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:49,522 But never "sefior". 14 00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:50,686 Sorry. 15 00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:52,480 I've never even been to Spain. 16 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,611 You went to Ibiza last year. 17 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,363 That's still no grounds for calling me "sefior", 18 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,653 or "Don Biggles" for that matter. 19 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:04,322 Right. Dear King Haakon. 20 00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:05,534 Of Norway, is that? 21 00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:06,994 Just put down what I say. 22 00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,659 Do I put that down? 23 00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:09,997 Of course you don't put that down! 24 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,207 Well, what about that? 25 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:13,497 Look! 26 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,336 Don't put that down. 27 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:17,125 Just put down what l-- Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 28 00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:21,804 Now, when I've got these antlers on... 29 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:24,554 when I've got these antlers on, I am dictating. 30 00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,468 And when I take them off, 31 00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:28,057 I'm not dictating. 32 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,101 "I'm not dictating." 33 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,265 What? 34 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,063 Read that back. 35 00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:37,814 "Dear King Haakon, I am not dictating. What?" 36 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:41,321 No, no, no, no, you loopy brothel inmate. 37 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:43,702 I've had enough of this. 38 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,578 I'm not a courtesan. 39 00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:48,415 Oh, oh, "courtesan." Oh, aren't we grand? 40 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,704 "Harlot's" not good enough for us, eh? 41 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,245 "Paramour, concubine, fille de joie. " 42 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,541 That's what we're not. 43 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,422 Well, listen to me, my fine fellow. 44 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:59,460 You are a bit of tail, that's what you are. 45 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,425 I am not, you demented fictional character. 46 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:04,010 Algy says you are. 47 00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:05,674 He says you're no better than you should be. 48 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,433 And how would he know? 49 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,723 And just what do you mean by that? 50 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:11,388 Are you calling my old fictional 51 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,432 comrade-in-arms a fairy? 52 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:14,774 "Fairy"! 53 00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:17,022 "Poof‘s" not good enough for Algy, is it? 54 00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:19,108 He's got to be a bleeding fairy. 55 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:22,028 Mincing old RAF queen. 56 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:24,443 Algy, l have to see you. 57 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:27,036 ALGY [ON INTERCOM]: Right-o. 58 00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:29,073 What ho, everyone. 59 00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:31,742 -[B|GGLES] Are you gay? -I should bally well say so, old fruit. 60 00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:36,664 Ugh. 61 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,548 Dear King Haakon. 62 00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:41,335 Oh. Dear, King Haakon. 63 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:44,300 Just a line to thank you for the eels. 64 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:47,299 Mary thought they were really scrummy, comma, 65 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,266 so did |, full stop. 66 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:53,146 I've just heard that Algy was a poof, exclamation mark. 67 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:56,734 What would Captain W.E. Johns have said, question mark. 68 00:03:56,778 --> 00:04:00,316 Sorry to mench, but if you've finished with the lawn edger, 69 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,356 could you pop it in the post? 70 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:06,152 Love Biggles, Algy deceased, and Ginger. 71 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,537 -Ginger! -What? 72 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,164 Rhyming slang, ginger beer. 73 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:14,076 -Oh... -Ginger. 74 00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:16,791 -GINGER [ON INTERCOM]: Hello, sweetie. -Uh, I have to see you. 75 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:20,757 Yes, Biggles? 76 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:23,339 Are you a poof? 77 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,462 I should say not. 78 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,597 Thank God for that. Good lad. Stout fellow. 79 00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:30,429 Salt of the earth, backbone of England. 80 00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:33,095 Funny, he looks like a poof. 81 00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:35,104 Dear Princess Margaret. 82 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,309 Hello. 83 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:42,104 Get back in the cupboard, you pantomimetic royal person. 84 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:43,738 Lemon curry? 85 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,526 Dear real Princess Margaret, 86 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,527 thank you for the eels, full stop. 87 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:50,286 They were absolutely delicious 88 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:53,745 and unmistakably regal, full stop. 89 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:57,036 Sorry to mench, but if you've finished with the hair dryer, 90 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,583 could you pop it in the post? 91 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,749 Yours fictionally, Biggles. 92 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:06,712 Oh, P.S., see you at the Saxe-Coburg's canasta evening. 93 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:07,963 That should puzzle her. 94 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,348 Si, Sefior Biggles. 95 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,429 Silence, naughty lady of the night! 96 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:13,764 [J‘J‘J‘] 97 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,686 NARRATOR: Next week, Part 2: 98 00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:18,223 Biggles Flies Undone. 99 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:29,025 -Wheee! -Ooohl 100 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,569 [HELICOPTER ROTOR SOUNDS] 101 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,078 Baaah! 102 00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,159 Whaaa! 103 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,540 Whaaaaaa! 104 00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:37,450 [TIRES SCREECHING] 105 00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:40,041 [CRASHING] 106 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:56,345 NARRATOR: Meanwhile, not very far away... 107 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,764 AN NOU N CER: Climbing. The world's lone/lest sport, 108 00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:01,354 where hardship and philosophy go hand in glove. 109 00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:02,688 And here, another British expedition, 110 00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:04,227 attempting to be the first man 111 00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:05,942 to successfully climb 112 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:09,108 the north face of the Uxbridge Road. 113 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:12,277 This four-man rope has been climbing tremendously. 114 00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:15,076 BBC cameras were there to film every inch. 115 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,286 The major assault on the Uxbridge Road 116 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,125 has been going on for about three weeks... 117 00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:21,120 real/y, ever since they established base camp 118 00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:23,538 here at the junction of Willesden Road. 119 00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:27,130 From there, they climbed steadily to establish Camp Two, 120 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:30,129 outside Lewis's, and it's taken them another three days 121 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:33,598 to establish Camp Three, here outside the post office. 122 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,975 Well, they've spent a good night in there last night, 123 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,228 in preparation for the final assault today. 124 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:41,310 The leader of the expedition is 29-year-old Bert Tagg, 125 00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:43,354 a local headmaster and mother of three. 126 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,143 Bert, uh, how's it going? 127 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:47,812 Oh, it's a-- It's a bit gripping, is this, Chris. 128 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:52,030 I've got to, uh, try and reach that bus stop in an hour or so 129 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,660 and, eh, I'm doing it by-- Damn. 130 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:58,498 I'm doing it by-- by Iayback up this gutter. 131 00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,492 So I'm kind of guttering and-- 132 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:02,209 and laying back at the same time, 133 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,995 and philosophizing. 134 00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:07,170 Uh, Bert, some people say this is crazy. 135 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:10,590 Aye, well, they said Crippen was crazy, didn't they? 136 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,004 Well, Crippen was crazy. 137 00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,596 Oh, well, there you are, then. 138 00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:17,385 Eh, John, I'm sending you down this carabiner on white. 139 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,302 Lemon curry? 140 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,517 Now, see, he's putting in a peg down there 141 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:22,684 because I'm quite a way up now 142 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,349 and if I come unstuck here, 143 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:25,726 I go down quite a long way. 144 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,110 [LAUGHS] 145 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:31,357 Such quiet courage is typical of the way 146 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:33,695 these brave chaps shrug off danger. 147 00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:37,446 Like it or not, you've got to admire the skill that goes into it. 148 00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:38,488 Ahhh! 149 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,702 [ALL SCREAMING] 150 00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,539 [WIND HOWLING] 151 00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,717 Oh, it's terrible up on deck. 152 00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:53,344 Up on deck? 153 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,506 Yeah, on deck. It's diabolical weather. 154 00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:56,798 Uh, what deck, dear? 155 00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,679 The deck. The deck of the lifeboat. 156 00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,719 This isn't a lifeboat, dear. 157 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,267 This is 24 Parker Street. 158 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,187 This is the Newhaven lifeboat. 159 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,601 No, it's not, dear. 160 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:12,689 [WIND HOWLING] 161 00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,567 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 162 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,448 You're right. 163 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,116 This isn't a lifeboat at all. 164 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,251 No, I wouldn't live here if it was. 165 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:29,289 Do you mind if I sit down for a minute and collect my wits? 166 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:32,209 No, you do that. I'll make a nice cup of tea. 167 00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:34,002 Thanks very much, thanks. 168 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,761 -[WIND HOWLING] -It's a wild night up top. 169 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,097 Your turn on deck soon, Charlie. 170 00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:39,591 It's not a lifeboat, Frank. 171 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,225 -What? -What do you mean? 172 00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,353 It's not a lifeboat. It's this lady's house. 173 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:47,766 [WIND HOWLING] 174 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:50,234 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 175 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,395 Captain! 176 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,779 Captain, ahoy, there! 177 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:55,114 -MAN 2: Ahoy, there! -MAN 1: Ahoy, there! 178 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,617 -MAN 2: Ahoy, there! -MAN 1: Captain? 179 00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,653 Who's that shouting? 180 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,368 It's a man outside number 24. 181 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,248 Try it on the five-inch, Gladys. 182 00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:07,286 I can't. I got that fixed on the Baileys at number 13. 183 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:10,000 Their new lodger moves in today. 184 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,665 Alright, hold 13 on the five-inch 185 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,709 and transfer the Cartwrights to the digital scanner. 186 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,172 Okay. 187 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:19,719 Hold on, Mrs. Pettigrew's coming back from the doctor's. 188 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,633 Oh, bring her up on two. 189 00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:26,305 What's the, uh-- What's the duration reading on the oscillator? 190 00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:28,564 Forty-eight-point-four-seven. 191 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:32,194 Well, that's a long time for someone who's just had a routine checkup. 192 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:35,230 Yeah, her pulse rate's 146! 193 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:38,025 Zoom in on the 16 mi! and hold her, Enid. 194 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,614 Roger, Gladys. 195 00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,368 I'll try and get her on the 12-inch. 196 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,530 GLADYS: Move the curtain, Enid. 197 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,369 Thank you, love. 198 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,535 Yes, it's one of those new self-righting models. 199 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,295 Newhaven was about the first place in the country to get one. 200 00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:53,457 What's the displacement on one of them jobs? 201 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,751 Oh, about 140-150 per square inch. 202 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,214 Uh, who's for fruitcake? 203 00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,504 -ALL: Oh, yes, please, please. -Yes? 204 00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:02,549 Right, uh, macaroons. That's two dozen fruitcakes, half a dozen macaroons. 205 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,558 Right, then. Won't be a jiffy, then. 206 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,101 [WIND HOWLING] 207 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:21,698 Yoo-hoo! Mrs. Edwards! 208 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,283 -Hello. -Hello, love. 209 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,368 I want two dozen fruitca kes, 210 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:28,116 and half a dozen macaroons. 211 00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:30,205 Oh, sorry, love, no macaroons. 212 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,166 How about some nice vanilla sponge? 213 00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,375 Yeah, that'd be lovely. 214 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,415 -Right-o. -[HORN BLOWS] 215 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,800 Ooh! There's that nice herring trawler come for their cupcakes. 216 00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:39,711 -Excuse me. -Right—o. 217 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:42,759 Hello, Captain Smith? 218 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,846 CAPTAIN SMITH [OVER MEGAPHONE]: Hello! 219 00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:48,303 Cupcakes to starboard! 220 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:49,687 Coming! 221 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,393 For crying out loud. 222 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:52,773 Don't forget your fruitcake. 223 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,401 Oh, yes, throw 'em in. 224 00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:56,731 I'll pay you at the end of the week. 225 00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:58,730 Here you are. Okay, right-o. 226 00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:01,024 -All right. -[HORN BLOWS] 227 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:04,160 [CHOIR SINGS] 228 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,992 Here! It's the Ark Royal, Doris. 229 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,327 Have you got their rock buns ready? 230 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,038 [HORN BLOWS] 231 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:12,293 Hang on! 232 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:14,078 Yes. 233 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,375 Here we are. 234 00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,541 Uh, five for them 235 00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,755 and five for HMS Eagle. 236 00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,590 -Right-o. -All right. 237 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:28,430 [GRUNTING] 238 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,471 Yes? 239 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,684 HMS Defiant. 240 00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:34,190 Two set teas, please. 241 00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:36,647 Two set teas, Doris. 242 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:41,148 That'll be 48 pence. 243 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,362 -There we are, thank you. -Yeah. 244 00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:47,157 By the way, do you do lunches? 245 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:51,120 No, morning kippers and teas only. 246 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,537 Right-o, then. 247 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,792 [J‘J‘J‘] 248 00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:11,803 Good evening and welcome to another edition of Storage Jars. 249 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:14,393 On tonight's program, Mikos Antoniarkis, 250 00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:17,275 the Greek rebel leader who seized power in Athens this morning, 251 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,732 tells us what he keeps in storage jars. 252 00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:22,147 [FANFARE] 253 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,819 From strife-torn Bolivia, 254 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:26,780 Ronald Rodgers reports on storage jars there. 255 00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,195 [FANFARE] 256 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,830 And, closer to home, 257 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,740 the first dramatic pictures of the mass jailbreak 258 00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:35,661 near the storage-jar factory in Maidenhead. 259 00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:39,130 All this and more in Storage Jars. 260 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,541 This is La Paz, Bolivia. 261 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:44,176 Behind me, you can hear the thud of mortars, 262 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:46,592 and the high-pitched whine of rockets 263 00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:50,179 as the battle for control of this volatile republic 264 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:53,178 shakes the foundations of this old city. 265 00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:55,438 But whatever their political inclinations, 266 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:59,351 these Bolivians are all keen users of storage jars. 267 00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:03,488 Here, the largest size is used for rice and for mangos, 268 00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,273 a big local crop. 269 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:08,159 And unlike most revolutionary South American states, 270 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:13,198 they've an intermediary size in between the two-pound and five-pound jars. 271 00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,287 This gives this poor but proud people 272 00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:18,749 a useful jar for apricots, plums and stock cubes. 273 00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:23,211 The smallest jar? This little two-ounce jar, 274 00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:27,053 for sweets, chocolates and even little Shallots. 275 00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,214 No longer used in the West, it remains here 276 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,806 as an unspoken monument to the days 277 00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:33,226 when La Paz knew better times. 278 00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:37,059 Ronald Rodgers, Storage Jars, La Paz. 279 00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:39,565 MAN [ON TV]: In London, the prime minister met officials 280 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:41,475 from the Department of the Environment 281 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,690 to discuss the whole question of national parks. 282 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,696 [CONTINUES INDISTINCT] 283 00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:50,822 A cassette-tape recorder is to replace the salon quartets and trios 284 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,826 which have played beside the potted palms at Manchester Town Hall reception 285 00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:55,703 for nearly 100 years. 286 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,414 A shortage in money has caused a switch to taped music. 287 00:13:58,421 --> 00:14:00,628 It will be relayed over a new public address system, 288 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,584 replacing one which relayed both music 289 00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:05,340 and the clink of glasses to other reception halls. 290 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,761 Stock market prices hit record levels 291 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,756 in the last part of the year. 292 00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:15,184 The Financial Times index rose 3. 7 points to 476.5, 293 00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:17,470 the highest increase from July. 294 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,354 [MECHANICAL WHIRRING] 295 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,605 [CONTINUES INDISTINCT] 296 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:29,107 The BBC has reported that radio-free Solent, 297 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:32,656 a pirate station, was marking the first birthday of the BBC-- 298 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:35,367 Henry, turn that television off. 299 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,247 You know it's bad for your eyes. 300 00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,284 Yes, dear. 301 00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:42,662 Ah, that's better. 302 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,751 Henry, will you stop sitting around? 303 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:47,668 -Yes, dear. -There's an entire TV studio 304 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,302 waiting around here to do the next link. 305 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:51,633 [OPENS, CLOSES DOOR] 306 00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:57,435 And when you've got that done, I've got some more work for you. 307 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,515 Yes, dear. 308 00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:01,306 Henry, do you hear me?! 309 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,557 Henry! 310 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:05,272 Henry, get a move on! 311 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:08,187 Now, you sod! 312 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,981 That's better. 313 00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:13,151 Hup, two, hup, two, hup, two, hup, two, hup, two. 314 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,153 [PANTING] 315 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,331 CROWD [YELLING]: Hurray! 316 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:30,672 Hello. I'm the good fairy from Program Control, 317 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,387 where we're all grateful for your work on this link. 318 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,719 So much so that I'm here to release you 319 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:38,100 from the evil spell you've been under. 320 00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:39,181 Huh? 321 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,016 Mwah! 322 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:45,309 Hmm. Well, it doesn't always work the first time. 323 00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:50,025 Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. 324 00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:52,065 Mwah! 325 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,194 [CROAKS] 326 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,741 Thank you, mind you. 327 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,496 No, no need to. 328 00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:02,204 You see, it's all in a day's work for Program Control. 329 00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:04,372 [J‘J‘J‘] 330 00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,413 MAN READS: 331 00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:11,042 Hello, the, uh, Show so far. 332 00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:14,386 Well, it all started with the organist losing his clothes 333 00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,639 as he sat down at the organ. 334 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:18,595 And after this had happened, 335 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,101 uh, and we had seen the titles of the show, 336 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,230 we saw Biggles dictating a letter to his secretary 337 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:25,564 who thought he was Spanish, 338 00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:28,272 and whom he referred to as a harlot 339 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,687 and a woman of the night, 340 00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:33,732 although she preferred to be called a "courtesan". 341 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:35,199 [CHUCKLES] 342 00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:40,413 Then we saw some people trying to climb a road in Uxbridge. 343 00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,407 And then there were some cartoons, 344 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:46,206 and then some Iifeboatmen came into a woman's sitting room, 345 00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:49,167 and, uh, after a bit, the woman went out to buy some, 346 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:51,583 uh, cakes on a-- a lifeboat. 347 00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:56,338 And then a-- a naval officer jumped into the sea. 348 00:16:57,391 --> 00:17:01,555 Uh, then we saw a man telling us about storage jars from Bolivia, 349 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:04,016 and then there were some more cartoons, 350 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:08,104 and then a man told us about what had happened on the show so far 351 00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:11,068 and a great hammer came and hit him on the head. 352 00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:13,946 I don't remember that. 353 00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,112 Lemon curry? 354 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:23,622 [FOLK MUSIC PLAYING] 355 00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,382 [FOLK MUSIC CONTINUES] 356 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:54,649 Morning, sir. 357 00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,272 Good morning, um... 358 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:59,112 I was, uh, sitting in the public library 359 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,651 on Thurmon Streetjust now, 360 00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:05,157 skimming through Rogue Herries by Horace Walpole 361 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:08,326 when I, um, suddenly came over all peckish. 362 00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:09,494 Peckish, sir? 363 00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,458 -Esurient. -Eh? 364 00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:14,123 [IN SCOUSE ACCENT]: Eee, I were all hungry, like! 365 00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,007 Oh, hungry. 366 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:17,509 [NORMAL VOICE]: In a nutshell. So I thought to myself, 367 00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:20,505 a little fermented curd will do the trick. 368 00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:24,346 So I curtailed my Walpoling activities, sallied forth 369 00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:26,511 and infiltrated your place of purveyance 370 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,764 to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles. 371 00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:31,440 MAN: Come again? 372 00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,692 [IN SCOUSE ACCENT]: I want to buy some cheese. 373 00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:36,445 Oh, I thought you were complaining about the music. 374 00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:39,698 [NORMAL VOICE]: Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations 375 00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:42,489 -of the terpsichorean muse. -MAN: Sorry? 376 00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:45,450 [IN SCOUSE ACCENT]: I like a nice dance. You're forced to. 377 00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:47,455 -Anyway. -Who said that? 378 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:49,537 Well, my good man, some cheese, please. 379 00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:51,501 Yes, certainly, sir. What would you like? 380 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:54,459 Well, how about a little Red Leicester? 381 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,624 I'm afraid we're fresh out of Red Leicester, sir. 382 00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:59,384 Never mind. How are you on, uh, Tilsit? 383 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:02,263 Never at the end of the week, sir. Always get it fresh first thing on Monday. 384 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,173 Tish-tish. No matter. 385 00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:06,217 Umm... 386 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:09,683 Well, four ounces of Caerphilly, then, if you please, stout yeoman. 387 00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:13,600 Ah. Well, it's been on order for two weeks, sir. I was expecting it this morning. 388 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,359 Yes, it's not my day, is it? 389 00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,235 Ah, Bel Paese? 390 00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:18,316 Sorry. 391 00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:19,401 Red Windsor? 392 00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:20,739 Normally, sir, yes. 393 00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:23,280 -But today, the van broke down. -Ah. 394 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,364 Uh, Stilton? 395 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,572 -Gruyere? Emmental? -No. 396 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:30,367 -Any NonNegian Jarlsberg? -No. 397 00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:32,080 -Liptauer? -No. 398 00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,209 -Lancashire? -No. 399 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:34,711 -White Stilton? -No. 400 00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,748 -Danish Blue? -No. 401 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:39,375 -Double Gloucester? -No. 402 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,259 -Cheshire? -No. 403 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:43,219 -Any Dorset Blue Vinney? -No. 404 00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:46,098 Brie, Roquefort, Pont I'evéque, 405 00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:48,969 Port Salut, Savoyard, Saint-Paulin, 406 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,103 Carre de I'est, Boursin, 407 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:53,309 Bresse Bleu, Perle de Champagne, 408 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:54,690 Camembert? 409 00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:56,316 Ah. We do have some Camembert, sir. 410 00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:57,772 You do, excellent. 411 00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:00,522 It's a bit runny, sir. 412 00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,439 Oh, I like it runny. 413 00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:06,194 Well, as a matter of fact, it's very runny, sir. 414 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:08,533 No matter. No matter. Hand over... 415 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,538 [SPEAKS FRENCH] 416 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,286 I think it's runnier than you'd like it, sir. 417 00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,625 I don't care how excrementally runny it is. 418 00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,339 Hand it over with all speed. 419 00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:21,501 Yes, sir. Ohhhh! 420 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:22,794 What? 421 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,128 The cat's eaten it. 422 00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,427 -Has he? -She, sir. 423 00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,221 -Gouda? -No. 424 00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:32,307 -Edam? Caithness? -No. No. 425 00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:33,770 -Smoked Austrian? -No. 426 00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:35,602 -Sage Derby? -No, sir. 427 00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:37,141 You do have some Cheese? 428 00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:38,484 Certainly, sir. It's a cheese Shop, sir. 429 00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:40,110 -We've got-- -No, no, no. 430 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:42,112 No, don't tell me. I'm keen to guess. 431 00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,149 Fair enough. 432 00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:45,782 -Wensleydale. -Yes, sir? 433 00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:48,570 Splendid! Well, I'll have some of that, then, please. 434 00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:50,487 Oh, I'm sorry, sir, I thought you were referring to me, 435 00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:52,202 Mr. Wensleydale. Heh. 436 00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,371 -Gorgonzola? -No. 437 00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:57,503 -Parmesan? Mozzarella? -No. No. 438 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,167 -Pipo Creme? -No. 439 00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:01,382 -Any Danish Fynbo? -No. 440 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,292 Czechoslovakian sheep's milk Cheese? 441 00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:04,425 No. 442 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,303 Venezuelan beaver Cheese? 443 00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,213 Not today, sir, no. 444 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:12,010 Well, let's keep it simple. Um, how about Cheddar? 445 00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:15,513 Well, I'm afraid we don't get much call for it around these parts, sir. 446 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:19,358 Not much call--? It's the single most popular cheese in the world. 447 00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:21,272 Not round these parts, sir. 448 00:21:21,322 --> 00:21:25,315 And pray, what is the most popular Cheese round these parts? 449 00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:26,447 IIChester, sir. 450 00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:28,530 I see. 451 00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:31,446 Yes, sir. It's quite staggeringly popular in the manor, squire. 452 00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:33,660 -Is it? -Yes, sir, it's our number one seller. 453 00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:35,540 -Is it? -Yes, sir. 454 00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:38,828 -||Chester, eh? -Right. 455 00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:40,413 Okay, I'm game. 456 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:45,213 "Have you got any?" he asked, expecting the answer "no". 457 00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:46,836 I'll have a look, sir. 458 00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:49,713 [HUMMING] 459 00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:51,806 No. 460 00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,220 It's not much of a Cheese shop, really, is it? 461 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:57,472 Finest in the district, sir. 462 00:21:57,525 --> 00:21:59,106 What leads you to that conclusion? 463 00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:00,607 Well, it's so Clean. 464 00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:03,360 Well, it's certainly uncontaminated by cheese. 465 00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:07,030 You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir. 466 00:22:08,118 --> 00:22:09,153 Is it worth it? 467 00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:10,409 Could be. 468 00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:13,783 Okay. 469 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:17,036 Have you got--? Will you shut that bloody dancing up?! 470 00:22:19,380 --> 00:22:20,415 Told you so. 471 00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:22,250 [CLEARS THROAT] 472 00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:24,164 Have you got any Limburger? 473 00:22:24,218 --> 00:22:25,503 -No. -No, that figures. 474 00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:27,009 It was pretty predictable, really. 475 00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:28,590 It was an act of pure optimism 476 00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:31,009 to have posed the question in the first place. 477 00:22:31,809 --> 00:22:34,221 Tell me something, do you have any cheese at all? 478 00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:35,680 Yes, sir. 479 00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:38,266 Now, I'm going to ask you that question once more. 480 00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:41,141 And if you say no, I'm going to shoot you through the head. 481 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:43,684 Now, do you have any cheese at all? 482 00:22:43,737 --> 00:22:44,726 No. 483 00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:46,611 ngh! 484 00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:49,322 What a senseless waste of human life. 485 00:22:51,328 --> 00:22:53,569 [J‘J‘J‘] 486 00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:08,717 Hugh Walpole's Rogue Cheddar, 487 00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:11,754 one of the first of the Cheese Westerns. [SNIFFS] 488 00:23:11,807 --> 00:23:15,095 To be later followed by Gunfight at Gruyere Corral, 489 00:23:15,144 --> 00:23:17,351 llchester '73, 490 00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:21,139 and The Cheese Who Shot Liberty Valance. 491 00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:23,432 While I'm on the subject of Westerns, 492 00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:26,318 I want to take a Closer look at one of my favorite film directors. [SNIFFS] 493 00:23:26,363 --> 00:23:30,322 Sam Peckinpah, the expatriate from Fresno, California. [SNIFFS] 494 00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:33,404 In his earliest films, Major Dundee... 495 00:23:33,454 --> 00:23:36,116 [SNIFFING] ...The Wild Bunch, and Straw Dogs... 496 00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:39,328 [SNIFFS] ...he showed his predilection for the utterly truthful, 497 00:23:39,335 --> 00:23:41,701 and very sexually arousing, portrayal of violence... 498 00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:44,166 [SNIFFING] ...in its darkest form. 499 00:23:44,214 --> 00:23:46,705 In his latest film, Peckinpah has moved into the calmer, 500 00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:48,340 and more lyrical waters... [SNIFFS] 501 00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:50,797 ...of Julian Slade's Salad Days. 502 00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:54,721 [J‘J‘J‘] 503 00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:04,519 Hello, everybody. 504 00:24:04,568 --> 00:24:06,354 ALL [IN UNISON]: Hello, Lionel. 505 00:24:06,362 --> 00:24:09,695 I say, what a simply super day. 506 00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:11,480 ALL [IN UNISON]: Gosh, yes. 507 00:24:11,533 --> 00:24:14,570 It's so, you know, sunny. 508 00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:16,360 Yes, isn't it? 509 00:24:16,413 --> 00:24:19,200 I say, anyone for tennis? 510 00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:20,539 Oh, super! 511 00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:22,040 What fun. 512 00:24:22,044 --> 00:24:24,330 I say, Lionel, catch. 513 00:24:25,714 --> 00:24:27,045 [SCREAMS] 514 00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:30,583 Oh, crikey. 515 00:24:30,636 --> 00:24:33,173 [SCREAMS] Oh, crikey! 516 00:24:42,398 --> 00:24:43,808 Damn it! 517 00:24:44,024 --> 00:24:46,606 [J‘J‘J‘] 518 00:24:46,652 --> 00:24:48,392 [SCREAMING] 519 00:24:56,704 --> 00:25:00,071 [BOTH SCREAMING] 520 00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:07,461 [INJURED PEOPLE GROANING] 521 00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:11,545 Pretty strong meat there, from... [SNIFFS] Sam Peckinpah. 522 00:25:11,593 --> 00:25:12,582 [GUNSHOTS] 523 00:25:12,636 --> 00:25:15,298 [G ROANS] 524 00:25:16,557 --> 00:25:18,593 [YELLS] 525 00:25:18,642 --> 00:25:21,008 [J‘J‘J‘] 526 00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:53,416 MAN READS: 527 00:26:23,290 --> 00:26:25,201 MAN 2 READS: 528 00:26:39,014 --> 00:26:42,347 We've just heard that an explosion in the kitchens of the House of Lords, 529 00:26:42,351 --> 00:26:45,718 has resulted in the breakage of 17 storage jars. 530 00:26:45,771 --> 00:26:48,433 Police rule out foul play. 531 00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:52,516 Lemon curry? 532 00:27:32,067 --> 00:27:33,227 [CLEARS THROAT] 533 00:27:33,235 --> 00:27:35,772 Um, I'm sorry about the, uh... 534 00:27:35,988 --> 00:27:37,774 the,uh”.pause. 535 00:27:37,990 --> 00:27:40,072 Only, um, I'm afraid the show 536 00:27:40,117 --> 00:27:42,449 is a couple of minutes short this week. 537 00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:45,577 Um, you know, sometimes, uh, 538 00:27:45,581 --> 00:27:49,790 the shows aren't really quite as--as, uh, as long as they ought to be. 539 00:27:59,219 --> 00:28:00,504 Beautiful, isn't it? 540 00:28:22,993 --> 00:28:26,281 Uh, look, there's not really a-a great deal of point 541 00:28:26,288 --> 00:28:28,700 in your sort of hanging on at your end, 542 00:28:28,749 --> 00:28:31,741 because I'm afraid there aren't any more, uh, jokes or anything.