1
00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:14,761
There now follows a party
political broadcast

2
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:18,424
on behalf of the conservative
and unionist party.

3
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,176
Good evening.

4
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:22,427
Figures talk.

5
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:27,107
We have already fulfilled over
three of our election pledges,

6
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:30,440
before the end of our second year
of good Conservative rule.

7
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,738
And, what is more.

8
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:37,947
We hope that, that in the Autumn we
shall introduce a legislation

9
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:43,157
in the house, bend and kick all
of those in lower income groups.

10
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:47,290
- And further more we--
- No no no no, look love.

11
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,500
It's and, one and two and three and four,

12
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:53,626
and five and six and seven and down.

13
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:56,671
Seven and down. It's so
much harder with the words.

14
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,135
Well, don't think of them,
just count four in your head.

15
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:03,769
And... One and third and two and thre--

16
00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:07,480
Come and do it with me, come on.

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00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:08,348
And.

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00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,100
Furthermore we hope that we can

19
00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:13,103
can stop the rising unemployment.

20
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:17,358
And point at employment with your finger.

21
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:18,700
I can do it when you're here.

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00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:19,693
I won't be far away.

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00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:22,742
Alright love we're going from unemployment
through pensions into good government

24
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:27,076
is strong government and
the walk down, alright?

25
00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:28,585
And cue love.

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00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:29,874
And furthermore we hope that we can

27
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:35,547
can stop the rising unemployment,
at a stroke or even quicker.

28
00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:42,513
[ALL SINGING]

29
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:51,099
And that's where we get the
bunting and the ticker tape Chris, alright?

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00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:54,315
Big smiles everybody, remember
you're Cabinet Ministers.

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00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:57,523
And relax.

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00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:02,611
We in the Labour party have always made
our positions quite clear.

33
00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:05,698
We will always be opposed to all forms--

34
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:11,537
[J‘J‘J‘]

35
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:20,799
And now.

36
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:21,717
It's...

37
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:25,058
[J‘J‘J‘]

38
00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:38,606
ANNOUNCER:
Monty Python's Flying Circuses.

39
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:57,757
[J‘J‘J‘]

40
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,589
AN NOUNCER:
Book at Bedtime.

41
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:02,675
Tonight, Jeremy Toogood
reads Redgauntlet

42
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:05,466
by Sir Walter Scott.

43
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,259
Hello.

44
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,427
[CLEARS THROAT]

45
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,100
"The sunsuit--

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00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:13,607
he... The sunseeit...

47
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,350
The sun-- The sunset!

48
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,144
The sunset...

49
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,188
...was-- w-was-- was...

50
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,782
The sunset was...

51
00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:25,110
...die-- deeing--
dying-- dying...

52
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,453
over the...

53
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:29,448
hile-- heel--
he-- heels--

54
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,037
halls-- hills!
hills...

55
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:35,120
of—- of slow--
Solway Firth.

56
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:37,710
The love piper--
The-- The lone piper!

57
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:41,377
The lone piper on the ba...

58
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,546
bat-tle-lyments...

59
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,677
...of Ed--

60
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,810
embing...
embingunder...

61
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:51,557
en-- Endingburger...

62
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:53,471
En... Em....

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00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,061
Edinburgh! Edinburgh...

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00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:59,527
castle was sil-- silow--

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00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,313
siluted-- si-- sill..."

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00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,154
"The sunset was dying

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00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:07,285
over the hills of Solway Firth.

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00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,490
The lone piper
on the battlements

69
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,329
of Edinburgh Castle

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00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,699
was silhouetted against
the crim... Crimsey...

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00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:17,663
Crimson.
Against the crimson strees...

72
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,086
Stre..."

73
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:21,671
-Streaked.
-Streaked?

74
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:25,049
"Crimson-streaked sky.

75
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,339
In the shadows
of Coriginu...

76
00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:30,559
Coriginu?"

77
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,140
"Cran-- Crangrim.
Crangrim."

78
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:33,178
Cairngorm.

79
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:34,596
Oh, Cairngorm.

80
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:36,139
"In the shadows
of Cairngorm,

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00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,308
the lud...

82
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,520
Laird."

83
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,064
ALL:
Laird. Laird.

84
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,523
"The Laird of...
Of, um..."

85
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:42,691
"Laird of Monteur.
Montreaux!"

86
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:43,821
Montrose!

87
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,319
Montrose, Montrose.

88
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,608
"The Laird
of Montrose..."

89
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:47,696
"Galopped?"

90
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:49,365
"Galloped..."

91
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,245
-[PLAY|NG BAGPIPES]
-ANNOUNCER: The lone piper

92
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,077
on the battlements
of Edinburgh Castle.

93
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,618
[SCREAMS]

94
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,706
Next.

95
00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,579
MAN [SCOTTISH ACCENT]: Here,
on top of Edinburgh Castle,

96
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,589
in conditions
of extreme secrecy,

97
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,342
men are trained for the British
army's first kamikaze regiment:

98
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,969
The Queen’s own
McKamikaze Highlanders.

99
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,597
80 successful has been the
training of the kamikaze regiment

100
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,054
that the numbers
have dwindled from 30,000

101
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,724
to just over a dozen
in three weeks.

102
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:18,144
What makes these young Scotsmen
so keen to kill themselves?

103
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,399
The money's good.

104
00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:20,562
And the water-skiing.

105
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,310
[SCREAMING]

106
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,649
Attention!

107
00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:25,404
All right, sergeant major,
at ease.

108
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,406
-Now, how many chaps you got left?
-Six, sir.

109
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,692
-[SCREAM]
-Six?

110
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,235
Five, sir.
All right, good luck, Johnson.

111
00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:32,078
Jolly-good show.

112
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,784
Well, I've come here to tell you
we got a job for your five lads.

113
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,331
-[SCREAM]
-Uh, four, sir.

114
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:36,492
-For your four lads.
-Good luck, Taggart.

115
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,285
Thank you, sarge.

116
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,329
Now, this, uh, mission's
gonna be dangerous and tough.

117
00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:42,373
We're gonna need every lad
of yours to pull his weight.

118
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:44,290
Now, which--?
Which four are they?

119
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,459
These three here, sir.

120
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,093
-Okay, off you go, Smith.
-Right!

121
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,753
-Uh, Sergeant major?
-Sir!

122
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,343
You don't think it might
be a good idea

123
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,098
to stop the training
for a bit?

124
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,058
They gotta be trained!
It's a dangerous job.

125
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,594
-[SCREAM]
-Yes, I realize, but--

126
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,103
MacPherson, you're next.
Off you go.

127
00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,438
-Aye!
-See, what is worrying me--

128
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,022
I'll make it
a good'un, sir!

129
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,353
Good lad,
MacPherson.

130
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,689
Eh, MacPherson, um...
This mission is very dangerous.

131
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:06,024
We're gonna need both
the chaps you've got left.

132
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:08,030
-[SCREAM]
-Both of who, sir?

133
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,612
What's this
man's name?

134
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,530
Uh, this one, sir?
This one's MacDonald.

135
00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:13,116
-MacDonald.
-Go ahead.

136
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:15,280
No, hang on to MacDonald.
Hang on to him.

137
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,657
I don't know
whether I can, sir.

138
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,450
He's in a state of
ltsubishi Kyoko McSayonara.

139
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,039
What's that?

140
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,124
It's the fifth state
a Scotsman can achieve, sir.

141
00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,997
He's got to finish himself
off by lunchtime,

142
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,506
or he thinks he's let down
the emperor, sir.

143
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:26,758
Can't we get him
out of it?

144
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,293
Oh, ldon't know
how to, sir.

145
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,462
Our kamikaze instructor,
Mr. Yashimoto, was so good

146
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,221
he never left
Tokyo airport.

147
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,349
There must be someone else
who could advise us.

148
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,556
Good morning.
Kamikaze, please.

149
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,270
Yes. Would you go
through, please?

150
00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:43,434
Thank you.

151
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,694
[SCREAMS]

152
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,356
All right, sergeant major,
no time to lose.

153
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,444
Beg your pardon, sir?

154
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:51,983
No time to lose.

155
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:53,322
No what, sir?

156
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:55,407
No time.
No time to lose.

157
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:58,073
Oh, I see, sir. Uh, no time...

158
00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,037
to lose, sir. Heh.

159
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,166
Yes, that's right. Yes.

160
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,503
Yes. No time to lose, sir.

161
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,246
Right.

162
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,336
Funny, sir. I've never come
across that phrase before:

163
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,335
"No time to lose."

164
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,628
Huh, 42 years I've been
in the regular army,

165
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,512
and I've never heard
that phrase.

166
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:15,006
It's in perfectly
common parlance.

167
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,096
-In what, sir?
-Oh, never mind.

168
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,385
Right, um, no time to lose.

169
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,020
Eventually, yes, sir.

170
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,146
What?

171
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:23,523
Well, like you said, sir.

172
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,016
We'll be able to make time,
eventually,

173
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,480
without to lose, sir, no.

174
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,986
Look, um... I don't think
you've quite got the hang

175
00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:30,272
of this phrase,
sergeant major.

176
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,243
-Morning.
-[CLEARS THROAT]

177
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:39,201
No time to lose.

178
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,741
Now then, how were you
thinking of using this phrase?

179
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,332
Uh...

180
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:46,337
Well, l was-- I was thinking
of using it like, uh:

181
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:49,546
Ah... "Good morning, dear.

182
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:52,134
What is in no time to lose?"

183
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:55,593
Yes, well, you've not quite got
the hang of that, have you?

184
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:06,058
Uh, you want to use this phrase
in everyday conversation.

185
00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:08,105
-ls that right?
-Uh, yes, that's right. Yes.

186
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,361
Yes, good.
[CLUCKING]

187
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,949
M-my wife and l have...

188
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,533
My wife and l have never had a
great deal to say to each other.

189
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,994
ln-- In the old days we used
to find things to say, like:

190
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:24,079
"Pass the sugar," or...

191
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:26,040
"That's my flannel."

192
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:27,704
But in the last
10 or 15 years,

193
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,668
there just hasn't seemed
to be anything to say.

194
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:32,710
Anyway, I saw your phrase
advertised in the paper,

195
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,504
and I thought: "That's the kind
of thing I'd like to say to her."

196
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,099
Yes, well, what we'd
normally suggest

197
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,094
for a beginner
such as yourself,

198
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,767
is that you put your alarm clock
back 10 minutes in the morning,

199
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,598
so you can wake up,
look at the clock

200
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:49,188
and use the phrase
immediately.

201
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,773
-Shall we try it?
-Yes.

202
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,399
All right,
I'll be the alarm clock.

203
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:55,065
When I go off, look at me
and use the phrase, okay?

204
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:57,404
[IMITATES TICKING]

205
00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:58,785
[IMITATES RINGING]

206
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,153
No!

207
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,446
Uh... time to lose.

208
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:02,534
No. "No time to lose."

209
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:03,994
No time to lose.

210
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:10,247
No. "To lose." Like Toulouse in France.
"No time Toulouse."

211
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:14,676
No. "No time Toulouse."

212
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,006
"No. No time Toulouse."

213
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,217
[J‘J‘J‘]

214
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,638
ANNOUNCER:
No-time Tolouse.

215
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:25,770
[READS]

216
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,744
MAN: All right, you
yellow-bellied sidewinder...

217
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:43,496
go for your guns.

218
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,502
Anyway, um... no time to lose,
sergeant major.

219
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:50,586
Look out, sir.

220
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,247
-MacDonald!
-MacDonald!

221
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,790
We'll have to
hurry, sir.

222
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:56,171
Now, MacDonald, put that down.
Put that down, MacDonald.

223
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,675
He's reached the sixth
plane already, sir.

224
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,760
Right. Here are the plans,
sergeant major. Good luck.

225
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,425
Thank you, sir!

226
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:08,055
-Thank you, sir. -Right. Come on.
No time to lose.

227
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,223
Very good, sergeant major.

228
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,390
Yes, excellent.

229
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,526
ANNOUNCER: So it was that
on a cold November morning,

230
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,812
RSM Urdoch
and Sapper MacDonald,

231
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,614
one of the most highly-trained
kamikaze experts

232
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,525
the Scottish Highlands
had ever witnessed,

233
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,277
left on a mission,
which was to--

234
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,195
Oh, I can't go on
with this drivel.

235
00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:27,574
All right, MacDonald,
no time to lose.

236
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,165
-[SCREAM|NG]
-MacDonald!

237
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,374
[TIRES SCREECH]

238
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,707
[MacDONALD CHOKES]

239
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:40,257
ln we go.

240
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,546
[G ROANS]

241
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,135
[SCREAMS]

242
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,222
[SCREAMS]

243
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:52,732
[SCREAMS]

244
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,226
[SCREAMS]

245
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,523
That's the mission.
Here's the method.

246
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,564
RSM Urdoch will
lull the enemy

247
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,572
into a false sense
of security

248
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,283
by giving them
large quantities of money,

249
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:03,738
a good home
and a steadyjob.

250
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:05,611
Then, when they're upstairs
with the wife,

251
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,998
uh, Sapper MacDonald will hurl
himself at the secret documents,

252
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,579
destroying them and himself.

253
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:12,543
Well, that's the plan.
The time is now 1942 hours.

254
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,420
I want you to get to bed,

255
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,460
have a good night's rest, and be
on parade early in the morning.

256
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,795
Thank you for listening, and
thank you for a lovely supper.

257
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:23,255
"And... A-a-and-- And sue... So.

258
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:27,768
So, so, so...the--
The in-- intripted--"

259
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:30,307
-lntrepid.
-lntrepid. Yeah, intrepid.

260
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:33,223
"Intrepid RSM Urdoch
and super..."

261
00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:34,641
-Sapper.
-Sapper.

262
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,275
"Sapper Mac-- MacDonald..."

263
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:38,645
-ALL: Made.
-"Made-- Made-- Made--

264
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,030
-Made their why--"
-ALL: Way.

265
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:43,441
"Way to-- Towawa--"

266
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:45,405
Towards!

267
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:49,368
"Towards... Towards
the-- The Roos-- Roosty?

268
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,578
-Roosty..."?
-Russia?

269
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,164
ALL:
Russian!

270
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,623
"Russian bolder."

271
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:57,122
ALL: Border!

272
00:11:57,133 --> 00:12:01,297
"And so-- And so, RSM Urdoch and Sapper MacDonald
made their way towards the Russian bolder."

273
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,132
ALL:
Border!

274
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:04,796
MAN:
It's not the Russian bolder.

275
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,304
[CLANG]

276
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:13,642
[GRUNTING]

277
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:18,435
[MUMBLING]

278
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,570
[CELESTIAL TUNE PLAYING]

279
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,488
[GRUNTING]

280
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,158
[MUMBLING]

281
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,167
[CELESTIAL TUNE PLAYING]

282
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:40,002
{MUMBUNG}
-[DING]

283
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:44,176
[GRUNTING]

284
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,358
[PEACEFUL MUSIC SOUNDS]

285
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:09,490
[RICHARD STRAUSS' "ALSO SPRACH
ZARATHUSTRA" PLAYING]

286
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,335
[MUSIC FALTERS]

287
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,381
[MUSIC STOPS]

288
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:25,043
[COMIC MUSIC PLAYING]

289
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,553
Penguins. Yes, penguins.

290
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:33,301
What relevance do
penguins have

291
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:35,060
to the furtherance
of medical science?

292
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,687
Well, strangely enough,
quite a lot.

293
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,394
A major breakthrough, maybe.

294
00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:40,437
It was from such
an unlikely beginning

295
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:43,774
as an unwanted fungus accidentally
growing on a sterile plate,

296
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,401
that Sir Alexander Fleming
gave the world penicillin.

297
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:49,492
James Watt watched an ordinary
household kettle boiling,

298
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:52,119
and conceived the potentiality
of steam power.

299
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,577
Would Albert Einstein
ever have hit upon

300
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:57,041
the theory of relativity
if he hadn't been clever?

301
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:59,202
All these tremendous
leaps fonNard

302
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,961
have been taken in the dark.

303
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,419
Would Rutherford ever have split
the atom if he hadn't tried?

304
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,550
Could Marconi
have invented the radio

305
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:08,462
if he hadn't by pure chance spent
years working at the problem?

306
00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:11,135
Are these amazing
breakthroughs ever achieved,

307
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,971
except by years and years
of unremitting study?

308
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,557
Of course not. What I said earlier
about accidental discoveries

309
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:18,312
must have been wrong.

310
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,724
Nevertheless, scientists
believe that these penguins,

311
00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:23,610
these comic, flightless,
web-footed little bastards,

312
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:26,275
may finally, unwittingly,
help man to fathom

313
00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:28,189
the uncharted depths
of the human mind.

314
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,608
Professor Rosewall
of the Laver Institute.

315
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,073
Hello.
Here at the Institute,

316
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,532
Professor Charles Pasarell,

317
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,789
Dr. Peaches Bartkowicz
and myself

318
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,624
have been working
on the theory,

319
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:41,244
originally postulated
by the late Dr. Kramer,

320
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:44,414
that the penguin is
intrinsically more intelligent

321
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:46,128
than the human being.

322
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,502
The first thing that
Dr. Kramer came up with

323
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,419
was that
the penguin has

324
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:53,590
a much smaller brain
than the man.

325
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:56,476
This postulate formed
the fundamental basis

326
00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,057
of all of his thinking

327
00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:58,970
and remained with him
until his death.

328
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:01,605
[GRUNT]

329
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:04,313
Now, we've taken this theory
one stage further.

330
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,478
If we increase
the size of the penguin,

331
00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:08,772
until it is the same
height as the man,

332
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:11,403
and then compare
the relative brain sizes,

333
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:14,569
we now find that the penguin's
brain is still smaller.

334
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,487
But, and this is the point,

335
00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:19,332
it is larger than it was.

336
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:24,500
For a penguin to have
the same size of brain as a man,

337
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:27,795
the penguin would have to be
over 66-feet high.

338
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:35,260
This theory has become known
as the "waste-of—time theory,"

339
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,675
and was abandoned in 1956.

340
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:42,188
Hello again. Standard IQ tests
gave the following results:

341
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:46,317
The penguins scored badly when compared
with primitive human sub-groups

342
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:48,353
like the Bushmen
of the Kalahari,

343
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:52,319
but better than
BBC program planners.

344
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:55,531
The BBC program planners'
surprisingly high total here

345
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:59,744
can be explained away as being within the
ordinary limits of statistical error.

346
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,204
One particularly dim
program planner

347
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,951
can cock
the whole thing up.

348
00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:07,129
These IQ tests
were thought to contain

349
00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:10,338
an unfair cultural bias
against the penguin.

350
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:12,217
For example, it didn't
take into account

351
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:15,054
the penguin's extremely poor
educational system.

352
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:17,340
To devise
a fairer system of tests,

353
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:20,760
a team of our researchers
spent 18 months in Antarctica

354
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,436
living like penguins...

355
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:25,770
and subsequently dying
like penguins,

356
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,771
only quicker...

357
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:31,024
Proving that the penguin is a clever
little sod in his own environment.

358
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:34,565
Therefore, we devised tests to be given
to the penguins in the fourth set.

359
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:37,452
I do beg your pardon.
In their own environment.

360
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,203
-MAN: Net!
-Shh!

361
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:44,042
What is the next number
in this sequence?

362
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:47,544
Two, four, six...

363
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:49,755
[PENGUIN SHRIEKS]

364
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:51,249
Did he say "eight"?

365
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,251
[SIGHS]

366
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:55,298
What is...?

367
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,088
ROSEWALL: The environmental
barrier had been removed,

368
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,090
but we'd hit another:
the language barrier.

369
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:00,929
The penguins could not
speak English,

370
00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:03,264
and were therefore
unable to give the answers.

371
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,763
This problem was removed in
the next series of experiments

372
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:08,103
by asking the same questions
to the penguins

373
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:10,734
and to a random group
of non-English-speaking humans

374
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,145
in the same conditions.

375
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:15,031
What is
the next number?

376
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:18,694
Two, four, six...

377
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,631
Hello?

378
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:35,259
The results of these tests
were most illuminating.

379
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:37,545
The penguins' scores
were consistently equal

380
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:40,055
to those of the
non-English-speaking group.

381
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:42,012
[SQUAWKS]

382
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:49,482
These enquiries led to
certain changes at the BBC...

383
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:51,233
[SHRIEKING]

384
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:56,356
...while attendances
at zoos boomed.

385
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,195
ROSEWALL: Soon these
feathery little hustlers

386
00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,451
were infiltrating important
positions everywhere.

387
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,283
[GRUNTS]

388
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:06,165
[KICKING, SQUAWKING]

389
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,325
[GLASS BREAKS]

390
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,587
[CROWD CHEERING]

391
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,338
[GASP]

392
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,003
[KICKING, GROANING]

393
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,048
[SHRIEKS]

394
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,212
[GASP]

395
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,261
[SHRIEKS]

396
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:24,391
[GASP]

397
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,677
[KICKING NOISES]

398
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,599
-[CROWD CHEERING]
-[GASP]

399
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,639
-[GASP]
-[GASP]

400
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:30,772
[SHRIEKING]

401
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:37,029
[SHRIEKS]

402
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,995
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYS]

403
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,373
[IN RUSSIAN]

404
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:02,096
We must study them in conditions
of absolute secrecy.

405
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,221
[IN RUSSIAN]

406
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:05,136
Look out!

407
00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:07,222
[BAGPIPE MUSIC PLAYING]

408
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,732
-[GLASS BREAKS]
-[MAN SCREAMS]

409
00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:17,153
[TICKING NOISE]

410
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:28,156
He hasn't gone off.

411
00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:29,574
[IN RUSSIAN]

412
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,166
Yes, my general!

413
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,418
What?

414
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,337
[RINGING]

415
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,440
[TICKING]

416
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,269
[SINGING]

417
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:48,368
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

418
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:55,243
And welcome to
Spot the Looney,

419
00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:57,503
where, once again,
we invite you to come with us

420
00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,246
all over the world

421
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:01,382
to meet all kinds of people
in all kinds of places,

422
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:02,507
and ask you to...

423
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:05,093
"Spot the Looney!"

424
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:09,094
Our panel this evening,
Gurt Svensson,

425
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:12,601
the Swedish mammal abuser
and part-time radiator.

426
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:14,261
Good evening.

427
00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:17,603
Dame Elsie Occluded,
historian, wit, bon viveur,

428
00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:20,017
and rear half
of the Johnson brothers.

429
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:25,189
And Miles Yellowbird,
up high in banana tree,

430
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:27,738
the golfer and inventor
of Catholicism.

431
00:21:29,747 --> 00:21:33,615
Ha. And we'll be inviting
them to: "Spot the Looney."

432
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:34,827
[BUZZES]

433
00:21:35,044 --> 00:21:36,580
Ha-ha, yes, quite right.

434
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:37,789
A viewer
from Preston there

435
00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:39,294
who's pointed out correctly

436
00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:42,082
that the entire panel
are loonies.

437
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:45,126
Five points to Preston there and
on to our first piece of film.

438
00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:50,094
It's about mountaineering. And
remember, you have to spot the looney.

439
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,383
NARRATOR: The legendary south
face of Ben Macdui,

440
00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:54,392
dark, forbidding...

441
00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:55,723
[CHEERFUL MUSIC SOUNDS]

442
00:21:55,773 --> 00:21:57,604
[BUZZ]

443
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,390
Ha-ha. Yes, well done.

444
00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:02,985
Mrs. Nesbitt of York spotted
the looney in 1.8 seconds.

445
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,777
On to our second round.
And it's photo time.

446
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:08,573
We're gonna invite you
to look at photos

447
00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:12,069
of Tony Jacklin, Anthony
Barber, Edgar Allan Poe,

448
00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:15,744
Katy Boyle, Reginald Maudling,
and a looney.

449
00:22:15,793 --> 00:22:18,580
All you have to do is
spot the looney.

450
00:22:18,629 --> 00:22:20,119
[BUZZ]

451
00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:24,256
Now, I must ask you please not to ring
in until you've seen all the photos.

452
00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:26,501
-[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
-[PHONE RINGS]

453
00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:28,044
[WHISTLE]

454
00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:34,683
Ha-ha. Yes, you're right.

455
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:37,310
The answer was,
of course, numbertwo.

456
00:22:38,732 --> 00:22:41,314
Uh, I'm afraid there's been
an error in our computer.

457
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,816
The correct answer should,
of course,

458
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:45,519
have been number four,
and not Katy Boyle.

459
00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:48,610
Katy Boyle is not a looney.

460
00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:51,780
She is a television
personality.

461
00:22:51,829 --> 00:22:53,114
[FANFARE PLAYING]

462
00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:54,487
And now it's time for:

463
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:57,122
Spot the Looney:
Historical Adaptation.

464
00:22:57,126 --> 00:23:00,038
And this time it's the thrilling
medieval romance, Ivanhoe.

465
00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:02,578
A stirring story
of love and war,

466
00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:04,622
violence and chivalry,

467
00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:08,501
set amidst the pageantry and
splendor of 13th-century England.

468
00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:12,263
All you have to do is
spot the looney.

469
00:23:15,269 --> 00:23:16,679
[BUZZING]

470
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:19,015
[BELLS RINGING]

471
00:23:21,692 --> 00:23:24,308
Yes, well done,
Mrs. L. of Leicester,

472
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:25,981
Mrs. B. of Buxton,

473
00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:27,486
and Mrs. G. of Gatwick.

474
00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:29,487
The looney was of course
the writer:

475
00:23:29,533 --> 00:23:31,489
Sir Walter Scott.

476
00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:35,153
I didn't write that!
Sounds more like Dickens.

477
00:23:35,456 --> 00:23:36,821
You bastard!

478
00:23:36,999 --> 00:23:38,330
Was Sir Walter Scott
alooney?

479
00:23:38,334 --> 00:23:40,165
Or was he the
greatest flowering

480
00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:43,452
of the early 19th-century
romantic tradition?

481
00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:46,668
The most underestimated
novelist of the 19th century?

482
00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:49,337
Or merely a disillusioned
and embittered man--

483
00:23:49,386 --> 00:23:51,502
Excuse me, can I
borrow that, please?

484
00:23:51,513 --> 00:23:53,003
-Here.
-Thank you.

485
00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:59,093
These trees behind me now were
planted over 40 years ago

486
00:23:59,146 --> 00:24:01,057
as part of a policy
by the then-Crown Woods,

487
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:03,768
who became the Forestry
Commission in 1924.

488
00:24:03,984 --> 00:24:05,269
-Excuse me.
-The Forestry Commission

489
00:24:05,319 --> 00:24:08,436
systematically replanted
this entire area. Shh.

490
00:24:08,489 --> 00:24:11,151
That's 40,000 acres
of virgin forest.

491
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:15,534
By 1980 this will have risen to
200,000 acres of soft woods.

492
00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:17,698
In commercial terms,
a coniferous cornucopia,

493
00:24:18,207 --> 00:24:21,290
an evergreen El Dorado,
a tree-lined treasure trove...

494
00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:22,791
-[MURMURS]
-No!

495
00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:25,494
...a fat, fir-coned future
for the financiers.

496
00:24:25,547 --> 00:24:27,287
-But what of the cost--
-lt's mine!

497
00:24:27,341 --> 00:24:29,502
Go away!
--in human terms?

498
00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:31,132
Who are
the casualties of--?

499
00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:33,043
For this was
Sir Walter Scott's country.

500
00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:34,716
In many of
his finest romances,

501
00:24:34,765 --> 00:24:35,800
such as Guy Mannering
or Redgauntlet—-

502
00:24:36,016 --> 00:24:37,222
-Give that back!
-No.

503
00:24:37,267 --> 00:24:39,383
--Scott showed himself
to be not only a f--

504
00:24:39,436 --> 00:24:41,017
The spruces and firs
of this forest

505
00:24:41,063 --> 00:24:42,678
will be used
to create-- Aah!

506
00:24:45,234 --> 00:24:47,771
And also a writer
of humor and--

507
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:53,738
Britain's timber resources are being
used up at the rate of over--

508
00:24:53,742 --> 00:24:56,028
One man who knew Scott
was Angus Tinker.

509
00:24:56,078 --> 00:24:58,114
TINKER:
Much of Scott's greatest work,

510
00:24:58,163 --> 00:25:01,155
and I'm thinking here particularly
of Heart of Midlothian, and, uh,

511
00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:03,199
Old Mortality, for example.

512
00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:07,746
--was concerned with preserving
the life and conditions of a--

513
00:25:07,965 --> 00:25:10,957
Forestry research here has shown that
a wholly synthetic soft-timber fiber

514
00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:13,376
can be created,
leaving the harder trees:

515
00:25:13,429 --> 00:25:15,385
the oaks,
the beeches, the larches,

516
00:25:15,431 --> 00:25:17,672
and the pines, and even some
of the deciduous hardwoods.

517
00:25:17,725 --> 00:25:20,387
-This new soft-timber fiber
would-- -Can I have that back?

518
00:25:20,436 --> 00:25:22,768
--totally replace the plywoods,
hardboards and chipboards,

519
00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:24,602
at present
dominating the, uh--

520
00:25:26,650 --> 00:25:28,265
In the Waverley novels,

521
00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:30,438
Scott was constantly concerned
to protect a way of...

522
00:25:30,446 --> 00:25:31,652
[THUD]

523
00:25:32,781 --> 00:25:34,487
...safeguarding
nationalist traditions

524
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:37,275
and aspirations, within
the necessary limitations

525
00:25:37,286 --> 00:25:38,446
of the gothic novel.

526
00:25:38,495 --> 00:25:40,451
Scott explored
the torturous,

527
00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:42,663
and at times,
self-destructive--

528
00:25:42,708 --> 00:25:44,369
Developments in
reinforced timber--

529
00:25:44,418 --> 00:25:46,534
Scott lived in Abbotsford,
in the heart of the country--

530
00:25:46,587 --> 00:25:48,202
Maplewood and rosewood--

531
00:25:48,255 --> 00:25:49,745
A subjugated country,
as Scotland--

532
00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:51,584
An increase in
the Canadian timber--

533
00:25:51,633 --> 00:25:53,419
Which were recovering
from the effects

534
00:25:53,469 --> 00:25:54,800
of two unsuccessful
Jacobite rebellions--

535
00:25:55,012 --> 00:25:56,172
For wood
ad hesives--

536
00:25:56,221 --> 00:25:57,461
In Rob Roy
and also in--

537
00:25:57,473 --> 00:25:58,758
The decline
in hard--

538
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:00,343
Scott was at pains
to emphasize the--

539
00:26:00,392 --> 00:26:01,677
[TIRES SCREECH]

540
00:26:01,727 --> 00:26:03,433
[CRASH]

541
00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:05,765
"Theend.
The ned."

542
00:26:05,981 --> 00:26:07,721
-MAN: Thend.
-"The end." Ah.

543
00:26:07,775 --> 00:26:09,311
ALL:
The end.

544
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:12,226
"The end."

545
00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:13,485
[J‘J‘J‘]

546
00:26:13,489 --> 00:26:15,320
[BUZZ]

547
00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:18,072
[APPLAUSE, CROWD CHEERING]

548
00:26:22,998 --> 00:26:24,784
[BUZZING]

549
00:26:42,184 --> 00:26:43,344
[MOUTHS WORDS]

550
00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:50,014
ANNOUNCER: Next week
on Book at Bedtime:

551
00:26:50,025 --> 00:26:54,359
Jeremy Toogood will be reading
Anna Sewell's Black Bue--

552
00:26:54,363 --> 00:26:56,524
But... Black Beut...

553
00:26:56,573 --> 00:27:01,533
Black Bottom...
Black Bub-- Beautum...

554
00:27:01,578 --> 00:27:02,658
Black Butty...

555
00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:09,033
ANNOUNCER 2: Tomorrow night,
comedy returns to BBC TV

556
00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:11,160
with a new series of
half-hour situation comedies

557
00:27:11,213 --> 00:27:12,999
for you to spot the winners.

558
00:27:13,048 --> 00:27:16,211
Ronnie Thompson stars
in Dad's Doctor,

559
00:27:16,218 --> 00:27:19,551
the daffy exploits
of the RAMC training school.

560
00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:22,763
He ’s in charge of a group
of mad medicos,

561
00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:27,218
and when they run wild,
it's titty jokes galore.

562
00:27:27,229 --> 00:27:28,594
Newcomer Veronica Papp

563
00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:30,433
plays the girl
with the large breasts.

564
00:27:31,775 --> 00:27:34,061
Week two sees the return
of the wacky exploits

565
00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:36,185
of the oddest couple
you've ever seen.

566
00:27:36,238 --> 00:27:38,980
Yes, Dad's Pooves.

567
00:27:39,032 --> 00:27:41,114
The kooky, oddball,
laugh-a-minute

568
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,118
fun-a-p/enty world of
unnatural sexual practices.

569
00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:46,740
Week three brings
a change of pace

570
00:27:46,748 --> 00:27:48,454
to the new comedy schedules.

571
00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,616
With Reg Cuttleworth,
Trevor Quantas,

572
00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:52,705
and Cindy Rommel as Bob in:

573
00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:58,086
Keeping the buses running
from typical bed-sit land

574
00:27:58,093 --> 00:27:59,629
in pre-war Liverpool.

575
00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:01,760
That's followed by
The Ratings Game.

576
00:28:01,930 --> 00:28:04,387
The looney life
of a BBC program planner,

577
00:28:04,433 --> 00:28:06,674
with the accent on repeats.

578
00:28:06,727 --> 00:28:08,718
Edie Phillips-Bong
plays Kevin Vole,

579
00:28:08,770 --> 00:28:10,601
the program planner
with a problem,

580
00:28:10,647 --> 00:28:13,639
and his comic attempts
to pass the time.

581
00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:16,775
Week six sees the return
of Up the Palace...

582
00:28:18,447 --> 00:28:21,109
the zany exploits
of a wacky queen.

583
00:28:21,158 --> 00:28:24,321
And that's followed by
Limestone, Dear Limestone,

584
00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:26,985
the wacky days
of the late Pleistocene era,

585
00:28:27,039 --> 00:28:29,701
when much of Britain '3 rock
strata was being formed.

586
00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:34,119
All this and less
on Comedy Ahoy.

587
00:28:34,129 --> 00:28:37,667
But now, BBC Television is
closing down for the night.

588
00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:39,752
Don 't forget to
switch off your sets.

589
00:28:39,801 --> 00:28:40,790
Good night.