[MUSIC]
[DOOR SLAMS]
>> CLIFF, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? >> UH, JUST CELEBRATING THE MORNING OFF, DEAR.
>> CLIFF, IT'S 6 O'CLOCK.
>> GOOD, THAT MEANS I'VE ONLY
USED UP A HALF HOUR.
>> OH, THAT LOOKS GOOD.
>> WAIT UNTIL I PUT ON
THE GOOSEBERRY KIWI JAM.
MMM, MMM, MMM.
MMM, MMM.
>> ARE YOU GONNA SHARE?
>> NOPE.
>> OH, MAYBE.
HE-HE-HE-HE-HE! >> THANKS A LOT. >> EAT UP.
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, YOU KNOW THAT? HM-HM-HM-HM-HM!
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
>> CLIFF.
[GROWLING]
WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE,
WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.
I'M GONNA BE LATE FOR WORK.
>> NO, I WANT TO KISS YOU
UNTIL IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO
TO WORK.
>> BUT I'LL BE LATE.
>> YES, BUT AT LEAST YOU'LL
GO TO WORK WITH A SMILE
ON YOUR FACE.
>> YES, BUT EVERY TIME I GO
TO WORK WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE,
EVERYBODY KNOWS WHY I'M LATE.
OH, WELL, I GUESS I COULD
ALWAYS SNEAK IN THE BACK WAY.
>> YOU FOOL, THERE IS
NO BACK WAY.
[KNOCKING]
>> WHO IS IT? >> IT'S RUDY. >> WHAT DO YOU WANT, RUDY?
>> I'M UP.
>> GOOD.
>> IT'S SNOWING OUTSIDE
MY WINDOW.
IS IT SNOWING OUTSIDE YOURS?
>> YES.
>> CAN I SEE?
>> UH, HON, LISTEN IT'S EARLY
IN THE MORNING.
>> CAN I SEE MOMMY?
>> THERE'S MOMMY.
>> GOOD MORNING, RUDY.
>> MORNING, MOMMY.
>> WHO WANTS TO PLAY?
>> YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE
PLAYING RIGHT NOW.
>> NO YOU'RE NOT!
>> LISTEN, COME HERE A SECOND.
IT'S EARLY IN THE MORNING,
HONEY.
YOU KNOW THAT LOVELY BOOK THAT
DAD BOUGHT YOU WITH
THE PICTURES AND SOME
OF THE WORDS?
WHY DON'T YOU GO READ THAT
IN YOUR ROOM, OKAY?
>> OKAY.
>> BYE-BYE.
AND NOW.
NOW I WAS KISSING YOU UNTIL
IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO
TO WORK--
>> LOOK AT--CLIFF,
LOOK AT THAT, YOU GOT A RIP
IN YOUR PAJAMAS.
>> YOU'RE KIDDING.
>> WELL, THERE GOES.
>> HONEY, WHY YOU ALWAYS
WEARING THESE OLD PAJAMAS?
>> 'CAUSE THEY'RE COMFORTABLE.
I LIKE 'EM.
>> BUT WHY DON'T YOU EVER WEAR
THE NEW ONES I BOUGHT YOU
FOR FATHER'S DAY?
>> YOU GAVE ME THOSE
SILK PAJAMAS.
I DON'T LIKE SILK BECAUSE
I FEEL LIKE I'M SLIDING AROUND
IN 'EM.
>> YOU KNOW, YOU NEVER WEAR
THAT BATHROBE I BOUGHT YOU
FOR FATHER'S DAY EITHER.
>> NOW YOU WANT TO KNOW
ABOUT THAT BATHROBE?
IT'S SO SHORT, I FEEL LIKE
A ROMAN SOLDIER.
>> YOU KNOW, COME TO THINK
OF IT, YOU NEVER WEAR ANY
OF YOUR FATHER'S DAY GIFTS.
>> THE REASON WHY I DON'T WEAR
'EM, DEAR, IS BECAUSE WHEN YOU
GO TO GET ME PRESENTS, YOU GO
TO GET ME THINGS THAT YOU WANT
TO SEE ME IN.
YOU DON'T GET ME THINGS THAT
I LIKE.
>> CLIFF, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
>> YES, IT IS TRUE.
YOU SEE, FATHER'S DAY HAS BEEN
LIKE THAT FOR A LONG,
LONG TIME.
THERE ARE FATHERS ALL OVER
THE WORLD WHO GET PRESENTS THAT
THEY CAN'T USE AND DON'T WANT.
NO, I'M SERIOUS.
FROM DAY ONE, WHEN EVE
AND THE BOYS GAVE ADAM THE FIRST
SOAP ON THE ROPE.
>> OH, CLIFF, COME ON.
>> I'M NOT KIDDING.
LISTEN, HONEST ABE.
I HAVE A CLOSET HERE THAT IS
FULL OF PRESENTS THAT THEY SELL
ONLY ON ONE HOLIDAY,
FATHER'S DAY.
NOW LOOK AT THIS, I GOT A CHEST
FULL OF STUFF HERE, AND I SAVED
THESE THINGS BECAUSE I KNOW
THAT ONE DAY I WILL BE ABOUT
70 YEARS OLD, AND MY CHILDREN
WILL COME TO ME AND SAY,
"WHERE'S THE GIFTS I GAVE YOU
FOR FATHER'S DAY?"
AND IF I DON'T HAVE 'EM,
THEY'LL BEAT ME UP.
LOOK AT THIS, SEE THESE TIES?
NONE OF THEM GO WITH ANY SUIT
I HAVE.
I HAVE DEODORANTS HERE,
ENOUGH TO HAVE ME SMELLING
LIKE ANYBODY YOU WANT TO MEET.
PIPE TOBACCO.
I DO NOT SMOKE A PIPE.
MY CHILDREN HAVE NEVER SEEN ME
SMOKE A PIPE.
AND THE CHILD THAT GAVE ME THIS
PIPE TOBACCO DIDN'T BUY ME
A PIPE.
ON TOP OF THAT, THE CHILD
DIDN'T EVEN WRAP IT.
JUST TOOK A MAGIC MARKER
AND WROTE "DAD" ON IT.
ALSO I HAVE THE FAMOUS SOAP
ON THE ROPE, WHICH I HAVE NEVER
LEARNED TO USE PROPERLY BECAUSE
IF YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR FEET...
I'VE NOT BEEN ABLE
TO GET UP THERE YET.
>> OH, CLIFF.
OH, LOOK AT THIS.
I HAD FORGOTTEN--WAIT,
TRY THIS, PUT THIS ON.
>> OH, NO.
I HAVE PLENTY OF THINGS THAT
WILL LIGHT UP.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
I'LL PUT THIS ON.
>> PUT THAT ONE ON.
>> GET THOSE--YOU KNOW I HAVE
SUSPENDERS OVER THE THERE
THAT SONDRA GAVE ME.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE CHILD WAS
DRINKING AT THE TIME.
>> OH, YES, OKAY.
WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE,
WAIT A MINUTE.
I LOVE THIS BECAUSE THE LITTLE
MEN'S EYES LIGHT UP.
>> YOU KNOW, I TELL YA,
THIS IS MORE FUN.
WE OUGHT TO DO THIS
IN THE MORNING OPENING
THE CHILDREN'S GIFTS.
OH, BOY.
HOW AM I LOOKING?
>> GREAT.
>> YOU KNOW, I LOVE IT
WHEN YOU DRESS ME.
>> OH, SHUT UP.
>> BOY, OH, BOY.
>> NOW, OH, OH,
LET'S NOT FORGET THIS.
>> OH, THEO GAVE ME THIS TIE.
MY SON.
ISN'T THIS WONDERFUL?
>> AM I LOOKING WONDERFUL
OR WHAT?
>> OH!
>> HUH?
>> OH, YEAH, THE YO-YO.
AM I LOOKING WONDERFUL?
>> YOU'RE LOOKING GREAT.
ARE THESE SERIOUS PRESENTS?
FATHER'S DAY.
I'M TELLING YOU, LAST YEAR,
I SAT IN THE LIVING ROOM
ALL FATHER'S DAY.
CHILDREN WALKED PAST,
"HI DAD, NICE TO SEE YOU."
"HELLO, DAD."
SOMEWHERE AROUND 4 O'CLOCK
SOMEBODY SAID,
"IS THE MALL STILL OPEN?"
>> OH, CLIFF.
OH, IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
>> LOOK CLAIR, I'M TELLING YOU,
IT IS THAT BAD.
YOU MOTHERS KNOW HOW TO WORK
MOTHER'S DAY, SEE?
FIRST THING MOTHERS DO IS THEY
TELL THE CHILDREN HOW THEY
CARRIED 'EM ALL THAT TIME.
AND THEN THEY SAY TO
THE CHILDREN, "AND I BETTER GET
GOOD PRESENTS BECAUSE YOU KNOW
WHO GAVE ME THESE BLUE VEINS
IN THE BACK OF MY LEGS?
>> I DO NOT, CLIFF,
I DO NOT DO THAT.
>> AND THAT'S WHY YOU ALL GET
GREAT PRESENTS, CLAIR, BECAUSE
YOU ALL PROMOTE YOURSELVES
BETTER.
BUT I DON'T SAY ANYTHING
AND LOOK AT ME.
NOW I'M GONNA SHOW YOU SOMETHIN'. YOU THINK I'M KIDDING.
THIS IS ONE OF THE HIGHLIGHTS
OF MY LIFE.
>> OH, CLIFF.
[MUSIC]
>> I LOVE IT WHEN IT SNOWS. >> MAYBE WE CAN MAKE A SNOWMAN BEFORE SCHOOL.
>> MAYBE THERE WON'T BE SCHOOL.
>> THEO, IT HAS TO SNOW A LOT
MORE THAN THAT BEFORE THEY'LL
CLOSE SCHOOL.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM
IS?
YOU LIKE SCHOOL.
YOU'D GO ON WEEKENDS IF YOU
COULD.
>> AND YOU'D DO ANYTHING TO GET
OUT OF IT, LIKE THE TIME YOU
ASKED MOM IF YOU COULD STAY
HOME FOR THE JEWISH HOLIDAYS.
>> HEY, WE'RE ALL BROTHERS.
>> HI.
[LAUGHING]
>> WHOA, GET DOWN, DAD.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> YOU LOOK LIKE TIMES SQUARE.
>> DAD, YOU OKAY?
>> SURE.
>> DAD, YOU LOOK FUNNY.
>> WELL, THANK YOU.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> GOOD MORNING.
>> GOOD MORNING, DENISE.
>> WHAT'S GOING ON?
>> OH, NOTHING.
>> DADDY, ARE YOU GOING
TO WORK LIKE THAT?
>> WHY NOT?
>> IT DOESN'T LOOK VERY
PROFESSIONAL.
>> DADDY, WHY ARE YOU DRESSED
LIKE THAT?
>> BECAUSE I WANT TO TALK TO
ALL OF YOU ABOUT FATHER'S DAY.
>> FATHER'S DAY?
>> YES.
IT'S 2 WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
>> IT I'M GIVING YOU
6 MONTHS' NOTICE.
I WANT BETTER PRESENTS.
>> HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, LAST
YEAR WE CHIPPED IN WITH MOM,
AND WE GOT YOU THAT WALKMAN.
>> AND I ENJOYED WATCHING MY
WALKMAN WALK AROUND
WITH YOU ALL.
I WANT SOMETHING FOR ME.
>> WE GAVE YOU LOTS OF HUGS
AND KISSES.
>> OH, YES YOU DID.
AND HUGS AND KISSES,
MM-MM-MM!
I LOVE 'EM TO DEATH.
>> DADDY, IT'S HARD TO SHOP
FOR YOU ON FATHER'S DAY.
>> WHY?
>> BECAUSE IT'S SO CLOSE
TO YOUR BIRTHDAY.
>> FATHER'S DAY IS JUNE 16TH.
MY BIRTHDAY IS IN OCTOBER.
>> YEAH DAD, BUT THAT'S TWO
PRESENTS PRETTY CLOSE TOGETHER.
IT CAN WIPE YOU OUT.
>> NOT IF YOU PLAN WELL.
LAST YEAR I FOUND A SHIRT
AND A TIE THAT CAME IN THE SAME
PACKAGE.
I GAVE HIM THE TIE FOR FATHER'S
DAY, AND I SAVED THE SHIRT
FOR HIS BIRTHDAY.
>> AND THE SHIRT WAS TOO SMALL.
AND THEN RUDY TOOK MY TIE
AND USED IT FOR A JUMP ROPE.
>> DAD, IT'S REALLY NOT NICE
TO DEMAND PRESENTS FROM YOUR
CHILDREN.
>> ALL I'M ASKING YOU ALL TO DO
IS THINK.
>> THINK.
>> THINK ABOUT WHAT?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> ABOUT WHO I AM
AND WHAT I AM.
YOU ALL HAVE LIVED WITH ME YOUR
WHOLE LIFE, AND YOU BUY
PRESENTS LIKE YOU JUST MET ME
YESTERDAY.
YOU'VE GOT 6 MONTHS.
SEND AWAY FOR CATALOGS.
GO TO TRADE SHOWS.
LOOK AROUND.
AND MAYBE IF YOU SEE TWO THINGS
AND YOU'RE CONFUSED ABOUT WHICH
ONE TO GET, DON'T TORTURE
YOURSELF, GET 'EM BOTH.
>> YEAH, BUT DAD?
ARE YOU SERIOUS ABOUT THIS?
[LAUGHING]
>> LOOK AT ME.
NOW WOULD YOU GO OUT
IN THE STREET LOOKING LIKE THIS?
>> NO.
>> SEE, THERE'S THE DIFFERENCE.
I WOULD.
I WOULD GO OUTSIDE
LOOKING LIKE THIS.
WHY?
BECAUSE MY CHILDREN BOUGHT THIS
FOR ME, AND I LOVE 'EM.
NOW ONE DAY YOU'RE GONNA
BECOME A FATHER.
YOU'RE GOING TO GET
ALL OF THESE THINGS
FOR FATHER'S DAY.
WHY?
BECAUSE I'M COMING OVER TO YOUR
HOUSE AND I'M SELLING THESE
TO YOUR CHILDREN.
>> DAD, I'D LIKE TO GET YOU
BETTER THINGS, BUT I JUST DON'T
HAVE THE MONEY.
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT A LOT
OF MONEY.
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT
AN APARTMENT BUILDING
OR A TRAILER HOME, JUST A SIMPLE
BOUQUET OF FLOWERS.
>> OKAY, I'LL GET YOU FLOWERS.
NO, DAD, I UNDERSTAND.
AND DAD, SORRY ABOUT THAT TIE.
>> IT'S ALL RIGHT, SON.
SOMEWHERE THERE'S A SUIT
THAT GOES WITH THIS TIE.
BUT DON'T GET THE SUIT.
>> YOU KNOW, DAD'S RIGHT. WE HAVEN'T DONE A VERY GOOD JOB FOR FATHER'S DAY.
>> YEAH.
MOM ONCE GAVE ME $20 TO BUY HIM
A PRESENT.
I BOUGHT MYSELF A BRACELET
FOR $16 AND GOT HIM SOME
$4 CUFF LINKS.
>> OH, COME ON YOU GUYS,
DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELVES.
ALL KIDS ARE LIKE THAT
ON FATHER'S DAY.
>> WELL, I SAY WE CAN BE
THE FIRST KIDS IN HISTORY
TO ACTUALLY GET OUR FATHER
SOMETHING HE CAN REALLY USE.
>> YEAH, WE'LL BE LIKE
PIONEERS.
WHY DON'T WE START LOOKING
TODAY?
>> ARE YOU KIDDING?
>> COME ON, DENISE,
IT'S A GREAT IDEA.
>> ALL RIGHT.
I'LL GO ASK MOM IF SHE'LL TAKE
US SHOPPING AFTER SCHOOL TODAY.
>> I'M GETTING HIM TENNIS
BALLS, AND I DON'T CARE
WHAT THEY COST.
[MUSIC]
>> MOM, YOU LOOK TIRED. >> WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHY I SHOULD LOOK TIRED.
I'VE ONLY SPENT THE LAST
3 HOURS CARRYING 4 KIDS
IN AND OUT OF EVERY STORE
IN NEW YORK CITY.
>> MOM, YOU GOTTA GET PSYCHED.
YOU'VE GOT TO THINK OF THE LOOK
ON DAD'S FACE WHEN HE GETS
THE PERFECT GIFT.
>> MAY I HELP YOU?
>> WHERE ARE YOUR TENNIS BALLS?
>> WE DON'T CARRY
TENNIS BALLS, HONEY.
SCHMIDDAUER'S IS MORE
OF A SPECIALTY STORE.
>> WE'RE LOOKING FOR SOME GIFTS
FOR MY HUSBAND.
>> DID YOU HAVE SOMETHING
IN MIND, OR WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO SHOW YOU SOME OF OUR MORE
POPULAR CHRISTMAS ITEMS?
>> OH, THIS IS
FOR FATHER'S DAY.
>> AVOIDING THE RUSH?
>> I THINK WE'LL JUST BROWSE.
>> HEY, EXCUSE ME, HOW MUCH IS THIS? >> $299.50.
>> FOR A TOOL KIT?
>> IT IS THE COMPLETE
HOME TOOL KIT.
>> NOW I SAW THE SAME THING
ON TV FOR $19.95.
>> THE TOOLS ARE $19,95.
THE SCHMIDDAUER NAME IS $280.
>> I'LL JUST TAKE THE TOOLS.
>> THEY'RE NOT SOLD SEPARATELY.
>> THEO, YOU'RE NOT GETTING HIM
TOOLS.
>> I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT.
>> IF YOU DO, HE'S GONNA START
FIXING THINGS ALL OVER
THE HOUSE.
>> THAT'S WHAT HE LIKES TO DO.
>> HE ALSO LIKES TO HAVE YOU
HELP HIM.
THEO, IN THIS BOX ARE YOUR
WEEKENDS.
>> EXCUSE ME, MISS. WHAT IS THIS? >> OH, THAT IS
A FOOT-WARMING BAG.
>> DO YOU THINK MY DAD
WOULD LIKE IT?
>> OF COURSE HE WOULD.
>> I'LL KEEP LOOKING.
>> GOOD GIRL.
>> OH, I SEE YOU FOUND
THE SCHMIDDAUER COMPACT
FISHING KIT.
>> WELL, MY HUSBAND IS ALWAYS
TALKING ABOUT GOING FISHING.
>> I GOT ONE FOR MY HUSBAND,
AND HE'S VERY HAPPY WITH IT.
FISHING RELAXES HIM.
>> OH, THAT'S JUST WHAT
CLIFF COULD USE.
>> ALBERT'S GOTTEN TO BE
A REAL FISHERMAN.
SOMETIMES HE'LL CATCH
A DOZEN FISH.
>> GREAT.
>> YES, IT IS.
UNTIL HE BRINGS THEM HOME.
>> I DON'T THINK WE'RE
GONNA TAKE THIS.
>> HEY MOM.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IT'S AN AUTOMATIC POTATO
PEELER.
>> NOW, YOU KNOW THAT'S
NOT A BAD IDEA.
HE LOVES MAKING HASH BROWNS.
>> HOW MUCH?
>> $54.50.
>> NOW I SAW THE SAME THING
ON TV FOR $19.95 AND THEY THREW
IN A SET OF KNIVES.
>> OH, COME ON, THEO.
IT PROBABLY WASN'T
THE SAME POTATO PEELER.
>> MAYBE WE SHOULD GO
TO ANOTHER STORE.
>> MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL THIS
WHOLE THING OFF, AND YOUR
FATHER SHOULD WAIT FOR FATHER'S
DAY JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.
>> NOW WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU ARE A NICE LADY, AND YOU'RE
OBVIOUSLY A FAMILY IN PANIC.
NOW I HAVE BEEN HERE MANY
YEARS.
I CAN HELP YOU.
>> WELL, WE CERTAINLY
COULD USE IT.
>> NO PROBLEM.
I LIKE YOUR KIDS.
AND I HOPE YOU ALL COME BACK
IN JUNE WHEN YOU DO YOUR
CHRISTMAS SHOPPING.
[MUSIC]
[KNOCKING]
>> COME IN.
>> DR. HUXTABLE.
>> OH, MRS. LEE.
>> I BROUGHT MY HUSBAND IN
SO YOU CAN TALK TO HIM.
>> BEN, THIS IS DR. HUXTABLE.
>> DR. HUXTABLE,
THIS IS MY HUSBAND BEN.
>> BEN, HOW ARE YA?
>> NICE MEETING YA.
>> GOOD.
>> WELL, I'LL WAIT OUTSIDE
SO YOU TWO CAN GET TO KNOW
EACH OTHER.
>> MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.
>> THANK YOU.
>> LIKE SOME COFFEE?
>> SURE.
CREAM, NO SUGAR.
>> CREAM, NO SUGAR.
WELL, YOUR WIFE IS HEALTHY.
YOU MUST BE A VERY PROUD MAN.
YEAH, WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR
THIS BABY FOR A LONG TIME, DOC.
>> AH, YOU MUST BE TICKLED.
>> YOU GOT KIDS?
>> OH YEAH, FIVE.
>> ALL RIGHT.
KEEP THEM BAREFOOT
AND PREGNANT.
>> BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT?
>> I'M AN OLD-FASHIONED
KIND OF GUY, DOC.
>> I THOUGHT THEY DIED OUT
A LONG TIME AGO.
>> I'VE DONE A LOT OF THINGS,
DOC.
FOUR YEARS IN THE MARINES,
TWO YEARS UP ON A PIPELINE.
BUT THERE'S NOTHING LIKE HAVING
A PREGNANT WIFE TO REALLY PROVE
YOUR MANHOOD.
>> PROVE YOUR MANHOOD?
>> I TOLD THE WIFE, I WANT
TO HAVE A LARGE FAMILY, LOTS
OF KIDS AND EVERY ONE OF THEM'S
GONNA KNOW THAT I AM THE BOSS.
>> WELL, MR. LEE, THE ONLY
PROBLEM WITH THAT IS THAT
THE MORE KIDS YOU HAVE, IT'S
THE MORE PEOPLE WHO WILL TELL
YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS.
>> DOC, I'M TELLING YA,
I'M THE BOSS.
>> MR. LEE, I USED TO THINK
THAT I WAS GOING TO BE
THE BOSS.
I DON'T KNOW HOW I LOST IT.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE I LOST IT.
I DON'T THINK I EVER HAD IT.
>> WELL LOOK, THAT'S NOT GONNA
HAPPEN TO ME.
>> OKAY, NOW WHEN YOU GO BACK
HOME WITH YOUR WIFE AND YOU
STAND IN THE LIVING ROOM,
I WANT YOU TO SAY,
"I DON'T LIKE THESE DRAPES."
>> I DON'T LIKE THESE DRAPES.
>> THEN I WANT YOU TO GO OVER
TO THE TELEPHONE, PICK IT UP
AND ORDER NEW DRAPES.
>> WELL--
>> AH, YOU CAN'T DO, CAN YOU?
>> NO.
>> WHY?
>> WE HAVE BLINDS.
>> BUT NOW YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND
THAT THE DAYS OF BEING
THE BOSS, THE BAREFOOT
AND PREGNANT, I MEAN THAT'S
30 YEARS AGO.
THE OLD-FASHIONED MAN IS OUT.
THERE'S MORE TO THIS
RELATIONSHIP THAN BEING
THE BOSS.
YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS.
SHE WON'T BE THE BOSS.
THE BOSS WILL BE THAT BABY.
I'VE BEEN MARRIED 20 YEARS,
MR. LEE, AND EACH DAY MY WIFE
AND I GO GROW CLOSER AND CLOSER
TOGETHER.
MAINLY BECAUSE
WE'RE AFRAID OF THE CHILDREN.
[MUSIC]
>> CLIFF! >> HEY. >> CLIFF!
>> WHAT'S GOING ON?
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT
THE HOSPITAL MAKING YOUR ROUNDS,
HONEY.
>> OH, REALLY?
>> HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
STOP IT, STOP IT.
>> WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
>> YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE HOME FOR 10 MINUTES.
>> OKAY, WHAT KIND OF TRICK
IS THIS?
>> OKAY.
I WANT YOU TO GO ACROSS
THE STREET AND STAND OVER THERE.
AND I'LL WAVE TO YOU.
>> ACROSS THE STREET?
>> YEAH, I'LL WAVE TO YOU.
>> IT'S 18 DEGREES.
>> OH, HONEY, I'M SORRY.
HERE, TAKE THIS, BE WARM.
[KNOCKING]
>> DEAR, I MEAN,
WHAT IS GOING ON?
>> OH, CLIFF, COME ON.
THE KIDS WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU
FOR FATHER'S DAY.
>> THEY DID?
THEY WENT OUT TODAY
AND BOUGHT ME PRESENTS?
>> THEY WENT OUT SHOPPING ALL
AFTERNOON FROM STORE TO STORE.
>> I HAVE GREAT KIDS.
>> YES, YOU DO.
>> WHAT'D THEY GET ME?
>> OH, NO, NO, NO, UH-UH.
QUICK.
>> OKAY.
>> PUT THIS AROUND YOUR NECK.
>> RIGHT.
>> OKAY, GET OUTSIDE
AND WAIT 'TIL I CALL FOR YOU.
>> IS RALPH EDWARDS
GONNA BE HERE?
>> YOU GET OUT.
OKAY KIDS, HURRY UP!
COME DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT AWAY.
>> IS HE HOME?
>> NO, BUT I THINK HE'LL BE
HERE AT ANY MOMENT.
>> MAN, THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT!
>> OKAY, NOW EVERYBODY SIT DOWN
AND GET READY.
>> OH, I FORGOT TO SIGN
HIS CARD.
>> HURRY UP.
>> I THINK I HEAR HIM!
>> HI.
>> SURPRISE!
>> HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
>> OH, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE!
>> YOU MADE US.
>> GOLLY, THIS IS
REALLY WONDERFUL.
>> OPEN 'EM, OPEN 'EM!
>> OKAY, OKAY!
>> AH, BOY.
OKAY.
"TO A GREAT DAD ON FATHER'S DAY,
EVEN THOUGH IT ISN'T.
LOVE VANESSA."
>> HOPE YOU LIKE IT.
>> OH, YOU KNOW I WILL.
THINK.
THERE'S MORE! >> YEAH.
>> IT'S THE COMPLETE HOME WEATHER STATION. >> I HAVE NOTHING LIKE THIS.
>> DAD, YOU KNOW HOW YOU'RE
ALWAYS ASKING ME WHAT IT'S LIKE
OUT THERE.
WELL, THIS IS GONNA TELL YOU.
>> UH-HUH.
THANK YOU.
>> HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.
>> THAT'S MINE.
>> ALL RIGHT, THIS IS YOU?
>> YEAH.
>> ALL RIGHT.
"DEAR DADDY, IT'S NOT A TIE."
ALL RIGHT!
I LOVE [INAUDIBLE]
IT'S NOT A TIE.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
>> IT'S AN ELECTRIC ICE-CREAM
SCOOPER.
>> OH, YEAH!
>> SEE THIS PART WARMS UP SO
YOU WON'T HURT YOUR WRIST WHEN
YOU'RE SCOOPING THE ICE CREAM.
>> OH, THANK YOU.
>> YOU LIKE IT?
>> OH, I LOVE IT.
THANK YOU.
>> HERE YOU GO, DAD,
HERE YOU GO.
>> ALL RIGHT, NOW.
ALL RIGHT.
>> READ THE CARD FIRST.
>> OH.
"GONNA BE A FATHER?
IT WILL COST YOU A PRETTY NOTE.
ROCK A BYE BABY."
>> THEY DIDN'T HAVE
ANY FATHER'S DAY CARDS.
>> ALL RIGHT.
SLIPPERS.
>> THEY'RE NOT JUST SLIPPERS,
DAD.
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO
OUTSIDE IN THE MORNING AND GET
THE PAPER WHEN IT'S RAINING?
>> UH-HUH.
>> NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS THIS...
RUBBERS.
>> ALL RIGHT!
ALL RIGHT!
RUBBER SLIPPERS, OKAY.
AND WHERE'S YOUR CARD?
NO CARD.
ALL RIGHT.
DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA!
TENNIS BALLS!
>> I HOPE THEY'RE
THE RIGHT SIZE.
>> OH, YES, I'M SURE THEY'RE
THE RIGHT SIZE.
LET ME SEE.
>> I LOOKED IN YOUR CLOSET,
AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE LEFT.
>> YOU KNOW THEY'RE
THE RIGHT SIZE!
>> CLIFF.
>> OH, NOW WE'RE COOKING.
"DEAR CLIFF, NO GIFT COULD EVER
EQUAL WHAT YOU'VE GIVEN
TO ALL OF US.
LOVE CLAIR."
OH, NO.
>> IT'S AN EARLY EDITION
OF THE DEBATES BETWEEN
ABRAHAM LINCOLN
AND STEPHEN DOUGLAS.
>> OH, THIS IS GREAT.
THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW, THESE ARE
THE GREATEST CHRISTMAS PRESENTS
I'VE EVER GOTTEN FOR
FATHER'S DAY.
AND THE THING ABOUT IT IS YOU
ALL DID IT BY THINKING.
THANK YOU.
>> HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
[MUSIC]
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[WARNER] THE COSBY SHOW WAS TAPED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE