THE FOLLOWING PRESENTATION IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY DISCOVERY EDUCATION
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DISCOVERY EDUCATION, CONNECT TO A WORLD OF LEARNING.
( kids grunting )
( sheep baaing )
Hey, get off me, you overgrown lamb chop!
( yelling )
Go away, I'm allergic to wool.
Where are we?
We're nowhere.
It's, like, Outer Mongolia or something.
I don't see anything but grass.
Maybe over...
( screams )
Whoa! Where'd he come from?
Hey, that's a yurt.
It's a tent used by nomads in...
Uh-oh-- this is Outer Mongolia!
Great.
We won't find the Book around here.
Uh, sir?
Could we hitch a ride to, say, Inner Mongolia?
Let me handle this.
Uh, me Fred; you...
( sniffing )
Hey, hey! This is getting personal.
I think it's some sort of Mongolian greeting.
What's he pointing at?
I don't know.
There's nothing
but dust clouds.
What is it... huh?
( low rumbling )
ALL: Wait! Please don't leave.
Come back!
Huh, that's weird.
I wonder what got into...
SAM: Uh, guys?
I think I know.
Please tell me that's the Mongolian polo team.
( armies shouting )
Eep!
Be careful what you wish for.
? Go! There they go ?
? Three boys surfing on the time continuum ?
? There they go ?
? The green mist fills the air ?
? The Book could take them anywhere. ?
? ? ?
( electric guitars playing steady beat )
? Go! There they go ?
? Three girls warping, time is 2105 ?
? There they go ?
? You can catch a ride with the Time Warp Trio. ?
? Traveling through history... ?
( clock ticking )
? ? ?
? With the Time Warp Trio ?
? Go! ?
JOE: Okay, before we become Mongolian roadkill,
I should explain how we got into this mess.
Like most adventure stories,
this one started with take-out menus.
SAM: Okay, then how about
we get Mexican food?
We like chimichangas.
No! One Digital Demon
is worth ten Phlegm Monsters!
Are you serious?!
Pizza's good.
Phlegm Monster hurls loogies through steel!
Not even the Dark Lord can fight that!
How about this: Khan's Mongolian Barbecue.
That was before the Dark Lord
split into Octopus Man and Tina the Waitress!
Now he's immune to all bodily fluids!
Fine!
You can starve for all I...
What did you do!?
Nothing-- I just put the menus in a drawer.
Green mist, go away,
'cause, um... here in Brooklyn we want to stay.
( all sigh )
Corny, but it worked.
( screams )
( screaming )
JOE: So, that's the lesson for today:
If you mix the Book with a take-out menu,
you become the barbecue.
Climb on!
All right!
We owe you, man!
No one strikes a prince of the Borjigid!
Please excuse Fred's manners.
He was raised by wolves.
This is true?
I myself am descended from the gray wolf
and was born with a destiny from heaven on high!
FRED: Oh, yeah?
Well, I'm in Little League.
Really?
And can you ride
straddling two horses at once?
Who can't?
Can you do this?
( imitates farting with armpit )
( poof )
I will work on it.
So, my name's Joe.
This is Fred, and that's Sam.
We're from the land of Brooklyn.
( sniffing )
It's called a handshake.
It's a symbol of friendship.
No sniffing?
You are strange people.
I am Tem jin.
Hiya, T.J.
"Tem jin," huh?
Funny, that sounds sort of familiar.
You have no doubt heard of me.
My father, Yes gei, is chieftain of our tribe.
Look there.
See how he leads his army in battle
against the Tartar demons?
He is the bravest man in all Mongolia.
Hmm, Tartars and Mongols battling.
This must be the 12th century,
if I remember my history books.
Speaking of books, Tem jin,
have you seen a blue book
with squiggles on the cover?
Book?
Oh, maybe books aren't around yet.
Um, it's sort of a box, about this big.
Hmm... yes.
I believe I have seen it.
Great! This is easy.
Where?
Let me think.
Was it...? No.
Yeah? Where?
No, that wasn't it.
Come on!
Perhaps...
Maybe you left it in your yurt.
No, it wasn't there.
You couldn't miss it.
It's the only thing around here that isn't sheep.
It was somewhere in our camp, I think.
Well, perhaps I will see it tonight at the victory feast.
You will come as my guests.
Victory feast?
How do you know your dad will win?
We always win.
We are Borjigid!
( crickets chirping )
( fiddle playing Mongolian tune )
Ugh.
When did I start chewing this piece of meat?
It was this morning, right?
I'm not sure.
We were all younger.
I think my dinner is looking at me.
Tem jin,
what exactly is this Mongolian mystery meat?
It's mutton, of course.
That's a food, right, not somebody's name?
And that we call koumiss--
fermented mare's milk.
Wha...?
You die!
( snaps fingers )
TEM JIN: Tarkutai!
Sam is my guest.
He is not to be harmed.
As you wish... my prince.
( snaps fingers )
Nice guy... in a psycho kind of way.
Tarkutai has long been jealous
of my family's position.
( spluttering )
Yeah, well, it's time to find the Book and get out of here.
Book? You mean the blue box you were seeking.
Yes, I remember
where I saw it.
You do? Where?
It was in the...
Tem jin, want to play a game of shagai later?
I'll let you win.
You only win because you cheat.
You wish.
That's B rte, my best friend.
She can be incredibly annoying.
The Book!
Tem jin, you said you remembered seeing it.
What? Oh.
I forget now.
( boys groan )
( gong reverberates )
Today our warriors achieved a great victory
on the field of battle, driving the Tartars from our land.
( crowd cheers )
I thank the Eternal Blue Heaven for strengthening our swords,
and also my anda,
my blood brother, Toghril,
for the courage of his troops.
It is fitting that we mark
the end of our struggle with a new beginning.
And so I commemorate our victory
by declaring that my son and heir, Tem jin,
and the princess B rte
are engaged
to be married!
( crowd cheers )
Married?
To a girl?
But you're, like, nine!
Uh, yes.
Our parents arranged it,
but the wedding is still years away...
and only if she quits cheating at shagai.
Oh, you poor guy.
You must have really ticked off your folks.
( groans )
( screams )
Father!
No, Tem jin, do not look!
MAN: Yes gei has been poisoned!
There! That servant!
He is a Tartar spy!
Tem jin!
Tem jin...
are you okay?
They will pay!
I must now become chief in my father's place,
and then I will not stop
until every last Tartar is wiped off the face of the earth!
Man, this is way cool.
I've never had a friend promoted
to chieftain before.
Of course, one of my brothers
was hall monitor.
TARKUTAI: No!
This travesty must be stopped!
Uh-oh, it's Turkey Toes.
What's he want?
Tarkutai,
this is sacrilege.
Explain yourself.
Tem jin is a boy.
In the history of our people,
none but a proven warrior, a grown man,
has ever been our chieftain.
What?!
FRED: Why, that rotten...
Fred, stay out of it!
Ha! You see?
Would you follow this child into battle?
I am the son of Yes gei and his rightful heir!
I demand that you finish the ceremony!
And my first act as royal khan
will be to banish you to the Gobi Desert!
Khan?
Holy cats!
Guys, he's...!
Shh! I'm trying to hear.
What... what he says has merit, Tem jin.
You are traitors!
And you-- if you wish to hold my father's scepter,
you'll have to take it from me!
Fine.
Let us settle this
the traditional way:
bayirldax, a wrestling match.
Hold it, Turkey Toes!
You think Tem jin's on stupid pills?
You're twice his size!
Fred, a challenge cannot be refused.
But do not worry, I am a Borjigin!
We always win!
Let the match begin.
The first to fall forfeits the scepter.
Yeah, all right! Whoa!
( grunts )
All right!
Hit him with a power slam!
BOTH: Go... Tem jin!
( gasps )
Tem jin, look out!
( grunting )
( boys gasp )
I... I-I don't understand.
I am a Borjigin.
It wasn't you, T.J., they cheated!
TARKUTAI: The matter is settled.
I will be the new khan.
And you, little flea, are free to go.
T.J., wait!
FRED: Listen to me!
Hey, move it, Yak Breath!
Look!
JOE: Tem jin!
He's being yurt-napped!
( muffled shouting )
There he is!
( fabric ripping )
JOE: Uh-oh.
We've got company!
Mutton merge!
But my allergies!
( holding back sneeze )
( Sam sneezes )
SAM: I mean ( baas like sheep ).
Uh-oh!
( sheep baas )
This way, this way-come on!
Yee-haw!
( all shouting )
( grunting as they hit ground )
( boys groaning )
Well, that was fun.
Now, how are we
going to rescue T.J.?
SAM: Guys, guys, listen!
I figured out who Tem jin really is.
When he said "khan," it hit me.
Later, when he's older,
he'll have a new title:
Genghis Khan!
Come on, guys, not again!
Genghis Khan-- you know,
as in the greatest conqueror of all time!
As in the guy who ruled
the largest empire ever?!
Huh... interesting.
So, anyway, how are we going to rescue him?
Turkey Toes's men
are all over that camp.
There's no way we can go back
without getting slightly killed.
( camel grunts, spits )
I've got it!
TEM JIN: You festering wart!
Why am I being held?
I demand you release me!
You're not going anywhere--
not until Tarkutai decides what to do with you.
JOE ( in falsetto ): Suppertime!
You want to tell me
how a spitting camel made you think of this?
So, um... who ordered the pepperoni?
What... what's going on?
We're traveling caterers
with a nice heaping plate
of... "I Can't Believe It's Not Mutton."
I hate mutton.
I want some bordzig.
( in falsetto ): Sorry-- somebody messed up your order.
Hey... you're cute.
I'm Pumlik.
What's your name?
FRED ( in normal voice ): What's it to you...
Um, I'm, uh, Shashlik,
and these are my sisters, Saltlick and Cowlick.
My brother is the new khan, you know.
So, uh, which one of you gets to be my girlfriend?
Want to meet me later by the sheep dung pile?
I hate to mess with your love life, Cowlick,
but aren't you forgetting something?
Right.
Would you mind holding
the drink tray while I pour?
For you, anything.
( in falsetto ): Uh, and if you could
just hold on to my food tray, too,
while I serve.
But of course.
( Pumlik groans )
SAM: Hurry!
The wrestling match-Turkey Toes cheated!
His goon pulled a knife and blinded you!
What?!
JOE: It's true!
Which means you're the rightful khan!
SAM: Come on, guys!
Let's go!
No! I cannot. What?
Tarkutai is planning to announce his engagement to B rte!
I must stay and rescue her!
That's crazy.
The minute his men spot you, you'll be dead mutton!
You're right.
Wait-- I have an idea.
FRED: You know what?
His ideas are even worse than yours.
Quit griping.
Hey-- there she is.
B rte!
SAM: They've got a guard on her.
Psst, B rte.
Who are you?
Friends of Tem jin's.
We've come to rescue you.
And we're not girls.
( giggling ): Right...
I remember you.
Where's Tem jin?
Tem jin's waiting for you in the forest.
As soon as we rescue you, he's going to declare war
on Tarkutai.
Great!
So, what's the plan?
Uh...
Well... this.
SAM: Hey!
( in falsetto ): Help! Help!
My sister is drowning!
Take B rte to Tem jin.
Go!
( whimpering )
Stop!
( in falsetto ): I mean, go away.
I... I'm fine.
What the...?
Hey!
What's going on?
( guard grunting, groaning )
THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY RESCUE.
Yeah, well, next time I'll be wearing pants.
Now it's my turn...
to deal with Tarkutai.
Wait.
You can't beat him all by yourself.
Of course I can.
I am a Borjigin.
He is a groveling worm.
But he's got all those goons with him and...
Wait a sec.
Remember at the feast,
your dad's old friend?
Wasn't he chief of some tribe or other?
TEM JIN: And so it is
that the legacy of my father,
your blood brother, has been stolen from me.
I ask only for help in righting this wrong.
You may have whatever you need-men, horses,
weapons-your father
was my closest friend.
Thank you.
I will prepare now for battle.
Wait!
One more thing.
We're looking for a book--
blue, with squiggles.
"Book"-- I do not know this word.
Oh, yes, their book.
It is square like a box.
I know I have seen it, but I just can't remember...
Perhaps you mean the strange blue object
that the shaman found?
The shaman-- that's
where I saw it!
Great-- now
we're getting somewhere!
It was to be a gift to the new khan, which means...
Tarkutai has it.
Oh, man! Oh, man!
TARKUTAI: The shaman says
this box has powerful magic.
It must never leave my side.
( horses approaching )
( hooves thundering )
TARKUTAI: It's Tem jin!
Quickly!
Find my men!
Archers to the front!
Show no mercy!
( hooves thundering )
There!
That's Tarkutai's yurt.
The Book's got to be in here somewhere.
B rte, keep a lookout.
Nothing! It's not here!
JOE: It's got to be.
Keep looking.
( pitcher shatters )
PUMLIK: Ow!
ALL: Pumlik!
Hey, go find your own hiding place.
B RTE: Pumlik, this is really important.
Please help us.
JOE: We're looking for a blue box.
Can you tell us where it is?
Never-- not if you tortured me.
( yelps ) Tarkutai's got it!
It's in his saddlebag.
Great, now we'll never get it!
Hey, don't I know you?
You have beautiful eyes.
( Pumlik grunts )
( swords ring )
( hooves thundering )
( men shouting )
( swords ringing )
SOLDIER: Ha-ha!
They're retreating!
( gasps )
( horses whinnying )
Hey, look!
Turkey Toes's men are taking off!
B RTE: Tem jin is winning!
( kids cheering and whooping )
Look at Turkey Toes go!
Aah! Tarkutai is going!
With the Book!
BOTH: What are you doing?!
It's now or never, right?
Giddyap!
( horse whinnying )
No... down.
FRED: Reverse!
TEM JIN: Tarkutai!
FRED: Yee-haw!
I got it.
Fred, behind you!
Hey, this book really is a lifesaver.
The battle is ours.
Tarkutai has been vanquished.
You're truly worthy of becoming khan.
Oh, hey.
Uh-oh, looks like our ride's here.
Yay!
Finally! Here we go!
TEM JIN: Thank you for helping, friends.
Oh, and Fred--
I've been practicing.
( imitates farting with armpit )
I taught him that.
I wonder why they don't make Genghis Khan cards.
He's much more interesting than this guy.
I'm not saying you're wrong,
but don't dis the Phlegm, okay?
So, anyone up
for a Mongolian barbecue?
They've got a mutton platter.
What is mutton, anyway?
Old sheep.
Or I've got peanut butter and jelly
right here.
Oh, yeah, that works.
That's good.