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Kakapupahet: You have interrupted our
sacred game! Explain yourselves!
Fred: You heard him, Joe!
Explain yourself!
Joe: Explain myself?
You?re the one who threw the air ball!
Kakapupahet: I say again!
Reveal your purpose to the divine
lord of Chichen Itza!
Fred: Chicken Pizza?
Sam: No, Chichen Itza!
We just barged into a Mayan Ring Ball game!
We?re in major trouble!
Enough chatter! Kakapupahet demands
an answer!
Joe: No way! Did he just say
Sam and Fred: Kakapupuhead!
Joe: We knew we were in
a life or death situation,
so that?s how we managed not to laugh;
for like two seconds!
Trio: Hahaha!
Joe: That?s the worst one yet!
Trio: Hahaha!
Kakapupahet: That?s right! Laugh.
It is a good thing to air out the lungs;
before you die!
Sam: Huh?
[Song] Be careful what you wish for!
Go!
There they go,
three boys surfing on the time continuum.
There they go,
Green mist fills the air,
the book can take them anywhere!
Go!
There they go,
three girls warping time
it's 2105.
There they go,
you can catch a ride
with the Time Warp Trio.
Go!
Traveling through history
with the Time Warp Trio.
Go!
Joe: Okay. So before Kaka, whatever,
told us his game was sacred,
we were playing our own sacred game,
called
Fred: H O R S E
Joe: We know how to spell horse, Fred.
Fred: You may know how to spell,
but you sure don?t know how to shoot.
Fred: Hello? Earth to Sam!
You?re doodling on the court.
Sam: I?m not doodling! I?m keeping score!
In Mayan.
Fred: Oh, Mayan. Of course!
Don?t let me disturb your work.
Sam? That was a joke.
Sam: Hey! Did you know that the Maya
only needed three symbols
for all their numbers?
A dot, a line, and a
Fred: Fine! Don?t move!
I?ll just do my over the dorkus,
one bounce off the backboard, shot.
Sam: Except they all
Hey!
Ow!
Joe: Nice! You should?ve called it an
under the net, hit the backpack shot.
What?
Aah!
Quick! Maybe if you make a shot,
it?ll reverse the reaction!
Fred: Got it!
Trio: No!
Joe: So yeah, the book could?ve sent us
to a Knicks-Lakers game,
but no,
it had to send us to
Kakapupahet: The battle between
day and night!
That is the game you have disrupted!
Kill them!
Sam: Wait, wait!
Is that the game you play on
the equinox?
When day and night are the same length?
Mayan 1: Do you have knowledge
of the calendar?
Sam: Enough to know that if today is
March 19, like it is back home,
you?re playing two days early.
Mayan 1: But my lord,
You said today was the day for the game.
You insisted that we play,
even though the king has not returned from
Kakapupahet: Silence!
Are you going to listen to three whining,
sniveling, snot-nosed boys?
Mayan 1: But my lord,
if they know of the equinox,
they must be royal astronomers.
Kakapupahet: Perhaps you?re right!
Do you know how to read the calendar?
Joe: Uh, calendar, comics, cereal boxes.
You name it, we can read it!
In fact, it was a book with a blue cover
that brought us here.
Kakapupahet: If you are not only
astronomers, but scribes,
then we are deeply honored
by your presence.
We will make sure you stay alive.
Fred: Now you?re talking!
Kakapupahet: As prisoners of war!
We will use your special blood to
invoke the gods.
A cup of it for weddings,
a bucket for the holidays.
Sam: Oh, great!
Kakapupahet: Yes!
You have a glorious life ahead of you.
Take them away!
Crowd: Whoa!
Fred: Hey!
I was wondering what happened to my shot!
[Applause]
Joe: Wow! A thousand year long,
across the continent, bank shot!
That?s definitely a three-pointer!
[Applause]
Mayan 2: Is that your ball?
Joe: Yeah. See, we?re not so much
scribes and astronomers as
Fred: Famous ball players!
Joe: Here to demonstrate new shots
in the battle between day and night!
[Applause]
Fred: Set me up for an alley-oop!
Sam: Haven?t you noticed that the uh,
the hoop is sideways?
Joe: Keep it up, guys!
If we win over the crowd,
there?s no way Kaka can drain our blood.
[Applause]
Kakapupahet: So, I cannot imprison
such talented ball players.
You are destined for better things, it seems.
Follow me!
Mayan 1: That?s what happens to
the captains of the losing team.
Sam: Ugh. Talk about
sudden-death overtime!
Girl: Nice shot!
[Applause]
Joe: Can you believe it?
A time warp where we?re actually heroes!
Kakapupahet: Heroes who are about
to receive their just reward.
This way!
[Applause]
Fred: Ugh, ugh. Forget the reward!
I?ll settle for a soda.
Joe: Nothing like climbing a hundred
steps to get a reward.
Sam: No. It?s ninety one, actually.
See? It?s a calendar thing.
Four sides, times ninety one, equals 364.
So, the last step is
Joe: The number of days in the year? Cool!
Kakapupahet: Citizens of Chichen Itza,
Fred: Get him! Who?s he talking to?
Sam: Them! These pyramids were built
so they can hear everything he?s saying.
Fred: No way!
Sam: Yes way!
Fred: So they can hear what I?m saying?
No way!
Sam: Yes way!
Fred: No way!
[Yes way!]
Kakapupahet: As I was saying,
three strangers have come to us
like an unexplained star.
Joe: Sam, Fred, look!
Sam: Is that our book?
Joe: It must be our reward.
Okay, green mist! Take us away!
Joe: It?s not working! Why isn?t it working?
Kakapupahet: It is written that three
strange ball players will come.
And here it says, they will be
a perfect sacrifice for the best harvest ever.
Sam: What?
Joe: He?s making that up!
Fred: That?s our book.
See? This clearly says four snakes
ate hats on the monkey table.
Nothing about sacrifices.
Joe: What?
It?s written in Mayan!
Bring the ceremonial blade
Sam: Oh, no, no!
But we?re not worthy enough!
We could mess up your harvest!
Fred: Yeah!
I haven?t brushed my teeth for a week!
Kakapupahet: All Kukulcan feathered
serpents to whom we dedicate this
Mayan 1: Hey, lord?
The king is our connection to the gods.
Until he returns,
I really don?t think these boys
should be sacrificed.
Kakapupahet: Fine. We will let the gods
decide if they live or die.
Day becomes night. Night is the jaguar.
The jaguar will decide their fate.
Sam: What does he mean night is the jaguar?
That?s a metaphor, right?
Joe: Right! That?s a metaphor for
when night comes,
we?ll be eaten by a jaguar!
Kakapupahet: At first return of the sun,
if this trio is still alive,
we?ll know the Jaguar god favors
the king instead of me.
If so, the boys will be free.
Fred: Hey! We might get out of this alive!
Kakapupahet: Not a chance!
I?ll be here before sunrise.
If the jaguar hasn?t done the job,
I will!
Fred: Killed by a guy named Kaka?
No thanks!
Joe: You mean, you?d rather get eaten?
Fred: I don?t know. Hey Sam?
If you were tied to a tree,
about to die, and you had a choice
between being eaten by
Sam: Hello! We are tied to a tree!
We are about to die!
Joe, don?t you know any rope tricks?
Joe: Sorry. They all involve trick rope.
Sam: Aah, aah, ahh! Did you hear that?
Oh, man! A tail! I saw a tail!
Fred: Joe, before I die, you know that
Yankee?s glove you lost?
You didn?t lose it! I have it!
Joe: You now what, Fred?
I don?t really care.
Trio: Aah!
Chun: I have watched many Ring Ball games,
and I have never seen a shot like that!
How did you do it?
Fred: Sam, there?s no such thing as
a talking jaguar, right?
Chun: My name is Chun.
We must hurry. My uncle will kill me if
he catches me doing this.
Joe: Why? Who?s your uncle?
Chun: Kakapupahet,
and he?ll come looking for you unless
we make him think a jaguar got here first.
Fred: Let me see that knife.
Alright! That ought to do it!
Joe: I like your fake jaguar prints.
Chun: Those are real.
If my uncle doesn?t get us,
The jaguars really will. Come on!
It was just like you said, Mama.
Uncle tied them up at the old jaguar tree.
Mama: I?m sorry my brother-in-law
has caused you so much trouble.
Please sit down. You must be hungry.
Fred: Yeah. Breakfast feels like
a thousand years ago.
Mama: Tortillas, corn, beans, tomatoes.
Fred: Oh, yum!
Chun: And dog!
Mama: No. Tonight I?m afraid
we only have chicken.
Joe: Mmm.
Whatever this is, it smells really great!
Mama: Chocolate, vanilla, and honey.
It?s a special drink for our honored guests.
Sam: No dog?
Fred: What are you drawing?
Chun: I?m drawing you, of course.
My friends and I make drawings of
our favorite Ring Ball players.
Then, we trade them with each other.
Fred: No way!
I?ve got Michael Jordan?s rookie card.
We should swap sometime.
Joe: Wow! They can?t use their hands,
but they still have to get the ball
through the hoop?
Chun: And, if you play
Chichen Itza rules,
you can?t use your feet, either.
Joe: Who?s this guy?
Chun: My father.
He was the best player in the city.
My father was a hero;
one of the only players who could
get the ball through the serpent ring.
But Kakapupahet, my father?s brother,
was jealous.
So, he told the King that
the feathered serpent, Kukulcan,
came to him in a dream
and said my father?s team would be defeated.
Then, he made sure that
his dream would come true.
Because he was captain of the losing team,
my father was put to death,
while my uncle was rewarded
for his premonition.
After that, Kakapupahet tried to force
my mother to marry him.
She refused, and we were sent away.
Fred: I knew that guy was a jerk!
Joe: A jerk who?s got the book.
Sam: Yeah.
And now that we?re officially dead,
we?ll never get it back.
We?re stuck here forever.
Mama: Don?t worry.
You can stay with us as long as you?d like.
Chun: Yeah!
And tomorrow,
I?ll show you all of the fun things
we do around here. Okay?
[Snoring]
Chun: Time to rise!
Sam: Rise?
[Yawn]
But it?s the middle of the night.
Chun: We have to start work
before the sun gets too hot. Come on!
Today, we have to gather pumpkins
for the task collector.
I told you we?d have fun!
Fred: Yeah! It?s a total riot!
Joe: Argh!
Fred: Hey, Chun!
Why don?t you put some wheels
on these things?
Chun: Wheels? I don?t think they would
work out here!
Fred: Really? Ugh.
Because it sure feels like this thing
is getting heavier and heavier.
Sam: Are you telling me that
the Maya came up with
the most accurate calendar ever,
invented zero,
built observatories to plot the stars,
but didn?t use wheels?
Fred: Ugh. That was some day of work!
Thank goodness the sun is setting.
Chun: That?s the sunrise!
Our day is just beginning.
Mama: The news from the city is that
the king is bestowing another title
on Kakapupahet.
His power will soon be unrivaled.
Sam: Oh, man!
We?re never going to get the book!
We?re going to have to stay here forever
and hull pumpkins.
I mean, no offense,
but that?s not what I picked on career day.
Mama: It was in a pumpkin patch
like this one that the ball playing twins
began their comeback.
Joe: The who?
Mama: Back near the beginning of the world,
there were twin brothers who were so good
at Ring Ball that the lords of the underworld
became jealous
and tried to have them killed.
They succeeded in chopping off the heads
of one of the twins, but not for long.
The surviving twin was crying alone
in a field of pumpkins when he got an idea.
He kicked one of the pumpkins into the air
and made a new head for his brother.
The lords of the underworld thought
they had won, but instead,
the twins came back to challenge them.
They defeated the lords in a game,
and ever since,
we have honored the ball playing twins.
Sam: Great story!
Too bad we can?t come back from the dead.
Joe: And why can?t we?
Fred: Yeah! Imagine the look
on Kaka?s face if we showed up
dressed as ball players!
Joe: Exactly!
Let?s challenge him to a game!
Sam: Uh, guys?
Fred: Yeah! And even though
he?s probably a stinky player,
he?ll have to accept.
Sam: Guys?
And if we win,
we can get the book back
and kick Kaka out of his seat,
so Chun?s mom can move back!
What do you say?
Sam: Guys!
Don?t you remember what happens
to the losers?
They lose their heads!
Fred: We?re not going to lose! I nailed that shot yesterday.
Sam: Fred, you can?t possibly take credit for that.
Fred: Sam. Sometimes you just have to go for it.
Chun: Father?s old equipment.
Come on! You guys have a lot to learn.
Fred: Like what?
Ooh! Ow!
Chun: Like the fact that a Ring Ball
is really heavy.
Lesson Number Two:
You can?t use your hands or your feet,
but you can use everything else.
Fred: Alright! I?m getting the hang of this!
Sam: Aah!
Joe: Sam, you can?t duck
every time I pass it to you.
But surely, you can use your hands
Ow!
At some point!
I mean, how else do you get it
through the ring?
Chun: It?s hard!
So hard, that the first team
to do it automatically wins.
Which is why we?re not even
going to practice it.
Sam: What do you mean? Aah!
Joe: Well, how are we going to win, then?
Chun: Your only chance is
to score more points
by hitting the markers on the court.
Watch, and I?ll show you.
[Applause]
Joe: Kakapupahet!
We return from the dead
with the strength of the sun!
Sam: We have returned like
the ball playing twins
who challenged the lords of the underworld!
Fred: Kakapupahet!
We challenge you on this special day
of the harvest sun snake to a ball game!
Kakapupahet: What?
Chun: Yes! Play a game!
King: Do you shrink from this challenge,
Lord Kakapupahet?
Kakapupahet: As a favor to the king,
I will accept this challenge.
We will indeed play ball,
and the losers shall have their heads cut off
on these very steps!
Fred: Man, this?ll be a piece of cake!
Look at him!
Sam: Actually, Fred?
You need to look at him!
Fred: Wow! If I were a scout
Sam: I would definitely
put Pre-Columbian Mexico on my list.
Joe: So, uh,
which one of us is guarding him?
Sam: I?m just the alternate.
You?re the ones who better win this thing!
Chun: Don?t be afraid! You can do it!
Kakapupahet stinks!
Fred: Hear that, guys?
That?s all we have to remember.
Kaka stinks! Let?s go!
[Applause]
Sam: It?s nineteen to one, guys!
Just thought I?d remind you!
Trio: Aah!
It's out!
Sam: Joe? Are you alright?
Joe: I think you better go in, Sam.
Sam: What?
Fred: Come on, Sam! They?ve got the ball!
[Applause]
Fred: Sam, you?re right by the marker.
Go for the easy shot!
Sam: But it?s only one point!
They?re too far ahead!
Sam: Aah!
[Applause]
Fred: Sam! Are you alright?
Sam: Yeah. Do we get to keep our heads?
[Applause]
King: You have defeated your opponents
with honor.
For this, we give you the privilege
of the blood sacrifice.
Take this, so that you may cut off the heads
of the vanquished.
Sam: Okay.
Unless, Kakapupahet clears out of town
and never shows his ugly face
around here again!
Joe: And gives us back our book!
You know? The thing with the blue cover
and the squiggles?
Excellent!
It?s still not working!
I can?t even read it!
Sam: Well. Those numbers I understand.
See?
It?s the date and the time of the equinox,
which actually
Joe! Fred! Look!
Fred: Ow!
So how about it, guys?
Joe: How about what?
Fred: You guys are going to have horse,
unless you match
my one thousand year long shot!
Joe: Give me a break!
Sam: I?ll do you one better.
I?ll use Chichen Itza rules.
Fred:: Oh, man! You are crazy!
Sam: Ready?
One thousand year long shot coming up!
Fred: You know, Sam.
If you work at it every day,
in about one thousand years,
you can be as good as me.
Joe: Speaking of fat heads,
what was that you said
about my Yankee?s glove
back at the jaguar tree?
Fred: Huh? I don?t remember!
Joe: Oh, sure you do.
Something about how you swiped it?
Fred: I didn?t swipe it!
I just forgot to return it.
I had things on my mind.
Sam: Hahaha!
Fred: What?s so funny?
I have things on my mind!
All the time! I do!
Okay, I?ll give it back.
Just as soon as I find it.
[Music]