[upbeat music]
female announcer: THE FOLLOWING PRESENTATION IS BROUGHT TO YOU
BY DISCOVERY EDUCATION, LEADING THE WORLD
OF DIGITAL AND VIDEO LEARNING.
DISCOVERY EDUCATION: CONNECT TO A WORLD OF LEARNING.
- THERE.
FROM NOW ON, NO ONE USES THE BOOK
UNLESS IT IS AN ABSOLUTE EMERGENCY.
- ARE BOX SEATS IN THE 1986 WORLD SERIES AN EMERGENCY?
- SORRY, FRED.
IT'S JUST TOO POWERFUL.
WHAT IF THE BOOK FELL INTO THE WRONG HANDS?
IMAGINE HOW HISTORY COULD BE CHANGED THEN.
- LET'S SEE WHAT'S IN THE FRIDGE.
[door shutting]
- EVER HAVE ONE OF THOSE DAYS WHEN YOU JUST
LOSE TRACK OF TIME?
WELL, I WAS ABOUT TO IN A BIG WAY.
- GREAT GILGAMESH.
IT'S JUST HOW MARDUK DESCRIBED IT.
[gasp]
A PRICELESS STATUE OF SOME FOREIGN GOD.
SURELY MARDUK WOULDN'T MIND IF I JUST TOOK ONE
PIECE OF TREASURE.
NO, HEMINRYE, REMEMBER YOUR PURPOSE.
[drum music]
[chanting spell]
[monkey chattering]
I HAVE BROUGHT WHAT YOU REQUESTED, GREAT MARDUK.
- WHAT ABOUT THE BOY?
DID HE SEE YOU?
- I WAS ALONE, MASTER.
- EXCELLENT.
WELL, WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE SWEATING
ALL OVER MY TEMPLE FLOOR?
BRING IT TO ME.
- [gasps]
IT WAS HERE, I SWEAR.
IT MUST HAVE FALLEN OUT OF MY BAG.
- YOU INCOMPETENT FOOL.
DO YOU KNOW HOW VALUABLE THAT BOOK IS?
IT'S THE MOST POWERFUL OBJECT IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!
- I WILL FIND IT, OH, GREAT ONE.
PLEASE DO NOT SMITE ME.
- AND SO YOU WILL, HEMINRYE,
OR I WILL RAIN FIRE UPON YOUR HOUSE,
DRY UP YOUR WELLS AND PLAGUE YOU WITH...
WITH ITCHES IN HARD-TO-SCRATCH PLACES.
NOW GO!
WAIT!
ONE MORE THING.
IF THE BOY OR ANY OF HIS FRIENDS COME AFTER YOU,
DESTROY THEM.
[evil laughter]
[exotic music]
- BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.
- [singing] GO, HERE THEY GO.
THREE BOYS SURFING ON THE TIME CONTINUUM.
THERE THEY GO.
GREEN MIST FILLS THE AIR.
THE BOOK CAN TAKE THEM ANYWHERE.
[exotic music]
GO.
THERE THEY GO.
THREE GIRLS WORKING, TIME IS 2105.
THERE THEY GO.
YOU CAN CATCH A RIDE WITH THE TIME WARP TRIO.
GO!
TRAVELING THROUGH HISTORY
[exotic music]
[energetic rock music]
WITH THE TIME WARP TRIO.
- AND YOU'RE SURE ANNA DOESN'T HAVE IT?
- POSITIVE.
I THREATENED TO PULL ALL OF THE COTTON
OUT OF HER STUFFED ZEBRA.
SHE WOULD HAVE TALKED IF SHE KNEW SOMETHING.
- IT LOOKED LIKE THE LATCH WAS TORN OFF WITH A KNIFE.
MAYBE THERE'S SOME EVIDENCE AROUND HERE.
- UH, EXCUSE ME, SHERLOCK, BUT I'M SURE WHOEVER STOLE
THE BOOK WOULD BE SMART ENOUGH NOT TO LEAVE
HIS TOOL BOX BEHIND.
HEY, WHAT'S THIS?
- IT'S SOME KIND OF CODE.
- IT'S CUNEIFORM, ONE OF THE OLDEST WRITTEN
LANGUAGES IN THE WORLD.
WE LEARNED ABOUT THIS IN HISTORY CLASS.
- WE DID?
- YES, FRED.
REMEMBER THE ANCIENT CIVILIZATIONS TEST LAST MONTH?
- OH, THAT TEST.
- CAN YOU READ IT?
- NO, BUT I KNOW CUNEIFORM WAS USED
IN MESOPOTAMIA OVER 2,000 YEARS AGO.
- THAT'S 2,000-YEAR-OLD WRITING?
WHO WOULD BE WALKING AROUND WITH THAT IN THEIR POCKET?
- AND ARCHAEOLOGIST?
- OR ANOTHER TIME WARPER.
- MAYBE IT'S JUST YOUR UNCLE JOE
PLAYING A PRACTICAL JOKE.
- IF IT IS, IT'S A PRETTY STRANGE ONE.
HE'S ALWAYS TELLING ME HOW POWERFUL THE BOOK IS
AND TO BE CAREFUL WITH IT.
- I JUST HOPE THAT WHOEVER HAS IT KNOWS WHAT IT IS
THEY'RE HOLDING.
[monkey chattering]
[Arabic instrumental music]
[zapping]
[monkey screeching]
- WHOA. - OH, YEAH.
- UNBELIEVABLE.
- LOOK AT THAT, CHECK THAT OUT.
- HOW DID WE--
- LOOK.
[grunting]
HEY, GIVE ME--
- GREETINGS, TRAVELERS.
BE YOU PERSIANS, EGYPTIANS, OR EVEN MEADS,
I HAVE MERCHANDISE FOR ALL YOUR NEEDS.
- I NEED THAT.
- EXCELLENT CHOICE.
AH, YES, THIS RARE, VALUABLE, UM...
THING IS FROM FAR, FAR AWAY.
- YEAH, YEAH, WE KNOW THAT, HOW MUCH?
- HOW ABOUT 16 SILVER PIECES?
- ALL I'VE GOT IS FIVE DOLLARS.
- WHAT IS THIS WORTHLESS LITTLE RAG.
- HEY, THAT WAS MY ALLOWANCE.
- HI, LITTLE FELLOW.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
HEY, MY GLASSES.
[monkey chattering]
- RUN!
- BUT I CAN'T SEE!
- STOP, THIEVES!
THIEVES!
[yelling]
- [growling]
- OUR LAW SAYS AN EYE FOR AN EYE
AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH.
YOU'VE TOOK SOMETHING FROM ME,
NOW I WILL TAKE SOMETHING FROM YOU.
YOUR LIVES!
[yelling]
- THE KING AND QUEEN.
- WHO ARE THESE THREE CITIZENS WHO DARE STAND
IN THE PRESENCE OF KING NEBUCHADNEZZAR?
- THEY ARE THIEVES, OH, MIGHTY KING.
- IT'S NOT TRUE.
THIS BOOK BELONGS TO ME KING NEBUCH--NE--NED--
NEDZ--NEBUCH--NEB.
- NEBUCHADNEZZAR, NEBUCHADNEZZAR.
IT'S NOT THAT HARD.
- RELAX, IT TOOK ME FIVE YEARS TO GET IT RIGHT
AND I'M HIS WIFE.
- THIEVES, EH?
[yawning]
ALL RIGHT, CARRY ON.
EXECUTE THEM.
- WAIT, REMEMBER WHAT WE'VE TALKED ABOUT?
IF YOU WANT TO BE A POPULAR KING,
YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND EXECUTING PEOPLE.
AT LEAST FIND OUT WHAT THEY'VE SUPPOSEDLY STOLEN.
- OH, ALL RIGHT.
- IT'S JUST A GIFT FROM MY UNCLE.
NOTHING SPECIAL, REALLY.
- LOOKS WORTHLESS, BUT PRETTY.
I THINK I'LL KEEP IT.
YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE FREE TO GO.
SO DECREES QUEEN AMYTIS,
TO THE HANGING GARDENS, INKEDO.
[coughs]
OH, ALL THIS DUST IS KILLING ME.
- WELL, AT LEAST WE KNOW THE BOOK'S HERE.
- WHERE IS HERE ANYWAY?
- IRAQ. - IRAQ?
ARE YOU SURE?
- THIS DOESN'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE WHAT I'VE SEEN ON TV.
- IT'S IRAQ OVER 2,000 YEARS AGO WHEN NEBUCHADNEZZAR
WAS A KING OF BABYLON,
THE LARGEST CITY IN THE ANCIENT WORLD.
SEE, LOOK, LOOK OVER THERE.
THAT'S THE HANGING GARDENS.
AND OVER HERE, THAT'S THE TOWER OF BABEL.
- IT'S REALLY CALLED THE ZIGGURAT OF ETEMENANKI.
BUT HISTORIANS THINK IT'S WHAT THE TOWER OF BABEL IS BASED ON.
- OKAY, OKAY.
WE ALL KNOW YOU GOT AN "A" ON THAT TEST.
NOW, CAN WE START THINKING OF A WAY TO GET THE BOOK
BACK FROM THE QUEEN?
- MAYBE WE COULD GET SOMEONE TO TRANSLATE THIS.
IT MIGHT BE A CLUE.
- WHERE IS IT, WHERE IS IT.
- EXCUSE ME SIR, BUT COULD YOU TELL US WHAT THIS SAYS?
- LET'S SEE.
HMM.
NICE PENMANSHIP.
IT LOOKS SORT OF FAMILIAR--
WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS?
- UM, IT WAS IN MY ROOM.
- [gasp]
IT'S THE BOY.
AH, LET ME GUESS.
YOU THREE ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING, CORRECT?
- HEY, WAIT, HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?
- I AM HEMINRYE, HIGH PRIEST OF THE GOD MARDUK.
I SEE ALL THINGS.
- WELL IN THAT CASE, CAN YOU SEE HOW WE GET
OUR BOOK BACK, CAUSE, LIKE, FIRST A MONKEY HAD IT,
THEN A MERCHANT, AND NOW THE QUEEN.
- AMYTIS HAS IT, EH?
I MEAN, YES.
I SEE HER CLEARLY.
SHE IS IN THE--
- HANGING GARDENS?
- THAT'S WHERE SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING.
- YES, THE HANGING GARDENS,
WHICH GREAT NEBUCHADNEZZAR BUILT FOR HER TO REMIND HER
OF HER HOMELAND IN THE MOUNTAINS.
AND ON HER LAP IS A BLUE OBJECT WITH SILVER SQUIGGLES.
- THAT'S IT.
THAT'S THE BOOK.
- SO HOW DO WE GET IT BACK?
- VISION FADING, MUST ASK CHILDREN OF TIAMAT
- WHERE ARE THEY?
- IN THE BASEMENT OF EDAMINOCHI.
I'LL TAKE YOU THERE AND YOU CAN EAT WITH THEM.
[laughter]
- OH, WAIT, COME BACK.
YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHAT THE TABLET SAYS.
- OH, THIS?
IT'S NOTHING.
EGGS, OLIVES, OX HEART,
JUST A SHOPPING LIST.
COME, COME.
WE MUST NOT KEEP THE CHILDREN WAITING.
THEY GET VERY CRANKY WHEN THEY'RE HUNGRY.
[laughing]
- IT'S SO DARK IN HERE.
I CAN BARELY SEE A THING.
- WHAT A ROTTEN PLACE FOR KIDS TO LIVE.
- IT'S EVEN CREEPIER THAN YOUR HOUSE, FRED.
OW.
- JUST A LITTLE BIT FARTHER.
IN HERE, JUST ACROSS THAT WOODEN BRIDGE.
I'LL LIGHT A TORCH.
[eerie music]
- HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- PREPARING FOOD FOR THEM.
[wicked laughing]
- BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA HELP US.
- FOOLS, I HELP ONLY MARDUK, GOD OF MAGIC,
WHOSE POWER IS SO GREAT HE CAN SEND HIS PRIEST
INTO A THOUSAND TOMORROWS.
- A THOUSAND TOMORROWS.
HE'S TALKING ABOUT THE FUTURE.
- SO IT WAS YOU.
YOU WARPED INTO THE FUTURE AND STOLE THE BOOK.
- WAIT A MINUTE.
THERE'S NO WAY I'M RELATED TO THIS GUY.
- I AM BUT A HUMBLE SERVANT WHO DOES HIS MASTER'S BIDDING.
AND WHEN I DO THAT BOOK BACK FROM THE QUEEN,
MARDUK IS GOING TO MAKE ME RICH BEYOND MY WILDEST DREAMS.
EAT WELL, CHILDREN OF TIAMAT.
[laughing]
- IF THOSE ARE THE KIDS,
I'D HATE TO SEE WHAT THE PARENTS LOOK LIKE.
- WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF?
WHAT CAN A BUNCH OF TINY LOBSTERS DO TO US?
- TH-THEY'RE NOT LOBSTERS, FRED.
THEY'RE SCORPIONS.
ONE STING CAN CAUSE FROTHING AT THE MOUTH,
CONVULSIONS, AND DEATH.
- OH.
- [gasp]
- THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY OUT OF HERE.
- WE'VE BEEN OVER IT A HUNDRED TIMES.
IT'S TOO FAR TO JUMP AND WE CAN'T CHASE AWAY
THE SCORPIONS.
LET'S FACE IT: WE'RE DOOMED.
- IF ONLY WE COULD TIE SOMETHING TO THIS RING,
AND THEN SOMEHOW TIE THE OTHER END TO THAT DOORKNOB.
- HEY, HEY I KNOW, WHY DON'T WE JUST USE THAT BIG COIL
OF ROPE WE DIDN'T BRING.
OR BETTER YET, I'LL JUST FLY ACROSS AND PUT THE PLANK BACK.
HOW'S THAT FOR AN IDEA?
- I THINK THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD IDEA.
- WHAT DID I JUST SAY?
OH, COME ON GUYS!
HOW COME YOU HAVE TO THROW ME?
- YOU'RE THE LIGHTEST, SAM.
AND FRED AND I CAN THROW BETTER THAN YOU.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I'M GREAT AT THROWING.
- ON THREE, JOE.
ONE--
- OKAY, WELL, THERE WAS THAT ONE SOFTBALL GAME, BUT--
- TWO--
- BUT I WAS PITCHING INTO THE WIND.
- THREE. - [yelling]
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
YOU GUYS DID IT.
I'M ALIVE, I'M ALIVE!
- DON'T JUST STAND THERE, GET THE PLANK!
- GUYS, YOU IN THERE?
DON'T WORRY, I'M COMING.
- FREDDY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- JODIE DETECTED A HUGE RIPPLE IN THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM,
WHICH CAN ONLY MEAN THAT A BOOK HAS BEEN APPROPRIATED
BY A MALEVOLENT FORCE SO GREAT--
- IN ENGLISH, PLEASE?
- YOU GUYS ARE IN TROUBLE AND IT'S MY TURN TO SAVE YOU.
- WELL, YOU'RE NOT DOING A VERY GOOD JOB OF IT.
THERE GOES ARE ONLY WAY OF GETTING OUT OF HERE.
- SCORPIONS.
NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT SCORPIONS.
- OH, BROTHER.
[flute playing]
- [singing] GREAT NEBUCHADNEZZAR BUILT THIS FOR YOUR PLEASURE.
IMPORTED PALMS AND LILAC ROPES TO FILL WITH SMELLS
YOUR ROYAL NOSE.
HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU SUPPOSE,
AND WANTS TO KNOW WHEREVER YOU GO.
- WOULD YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE?
THE LARGEST GARDEN IN THE KNOWN WORLD
AND I STILL CAN'T GET ANY PEACE AND QUIET.
SUCH A PRETTY THING.
WONDER WHERE IT'S FROM.
- A PLACE CALLED BROOKLYN. - AHH!
- FORGIVE ME, MY QUEEN.
I HAVE STARTLED YOU.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE GARDENS, HEMINRYE?
SHOULDN'T YOU BE AT THE TEMPLE?
- I CAME TO WARN YOU, MY QUEEN.
THAT THING YOU HOLD IN YOUR HANDS IS CURSED.
IF YOU OPEN IT, IT WILL BRING A PLAGUE UPON OUR LAND.
- THIS THING?
OH, PLEASE.
YOU'VE BEEN LISTENING TO TOO MUCH EPIC POETRY.
- EVEN TOUCHING IT IS DANGEROUS.
PERHAPS I SHOULD JUST HOLD IT FOR YOU.
- NO!
NOW RUN ALONG.
GO SACRIFICE SOMETHING.
- LOOK, A PINK IRIS, HOW RARE.
- WHERE?
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING.
- NO, PERHAPS IT WAS A TRICK OF THE LIGHT.
MAY MARDUK BLESS YOU WITH A HUNDRED SONS,
AND NICE, FAT COWS.
AND...
- WILL YOU GUYS HURRY UP?
IT'S DRAFTY IN HERE?
- THAT WAS CLOSE.
- CAN YOU PLEASE TELL US WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT NOW?
WHO STOLE JOE'S BOOK?
WAS IT HEMINRYE OR SOME GUY NAMED MARDUK?
- I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING; IT'S CLASSIFIED.
- HEY, NO PEEKING! - AH, COME ON!
WE NEED A LITTLE BIT MORE THAN THAT.
- OKAY.
IF WE DON'T GET THE BOOK BACK SOON,
TIME ITSELF COULD BE DESTROYED.
AND THEN THE UNIVERSE WOULD COLLAPSE UPON ITSELF.
- WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?
LET'S GO.
- MAN, CHECK OUT THE SIZE OF THIS THING.
- NOW I SEE WHY THE HANGING GARDENS ARE ONE
OF THE SEVEN WONDERS OF THE ANCIENT WORLD.
IMAGINE THE ENGINEERING IT TAKES TO WATER ALL THOSE PLANTS.
- IMAGINE ALL THE STEPS WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO CLIMB.
YOU THINK THEY BUILT AN ESCALATOR?
- COME ON, WE'RE WASTING TIME.
[suspenseful music]
- [snoring]
- YOUR HIGHNESS, WE NEED YOUR HELP.
- OH, WHAT IS IT NOW?
OH, IT'S YOU.
WHAT'S WRONG?
IS MY HUSBAND BEING A TYRANT AGAIN?
- NO, IT'S THE BOOK.
WE REALLY NEED IT BACK.
- THE WHAT?
- THAT THING YOU TOOK FROM US EARLIER,
IF IT FALLS INTO THE WRONG HANDS,
THE UNIVERSE COULD IMPLODE.
- OH, FIRST HEMINRYE AND NOW YOU.
IT'S JUST SOME DECORATIVE SHEETS OF PAPYRUS.
I DON'T SEE WHY--
- WAIT, HEMINRYE WAS HERE? - HE JUST LEFT.
DON'T WORRY.
I DIDN'T GIVE IT TO HIM.
IT'S RIGHT HERE.
- [scream]
- [laughter]
LOOKS LIKE THE QUEEN GOT MY LITTLE PRESENT.
[evil laughter]
- NOW NOTHING CAN STOP ME FROM DELIVERING
THIS MOST POWERFUL TREASURE TO--HMM.
WHAT IF I DIDN'T GIVE IT TO MARDUK?
- SAM, SNAKES BITES AREN'T AS BAD AS SCORPION STINGS, RIGHT?
- IF THE COBRA STRIKES, YOU WILL BE DEAD IN MINUTES.
BE STILL.
THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS.
- HEY, I THINK I HAVE A PLAN.
- YOU ARE NOT THROWING ME AGAIN.
- NO, CHECK OUT THAT FLUTE.
MAYBE WE CAN CHARM THE SNAKE.
I THINK I CAN REACH IT WITH MY FOOT.
- CAREFUL, CAREFUL.
[snake hissing]
[flute music, snake hissing]
- PLAY SOMETHING ELSE.
HE DOESN'T LIKE THAT ONE.
[playing Mary had a Little Lamb]
- WHOA, THOSE CLARINET LESSONS REALLY PAID OFF.
[all cheering]
- YOU SAVED MY LIFE.
HOW CAN I REPAY YOU?
- YOU CAN START BY TELLING US WHERE HEMINRYE WOULD BE.
- HE'S RIGHT OVER THERE.
- BE STILL, I TELL YOU.
OW, OW!
- QUICK, HE STILL HAS THE BOOK.
- YOU WILL OBEY ME.
I AM YOUR MASTER NOW.
- PEOPLE OF BABYLON, BOW BENEATH ME.
BEHOLD YOUR NEW GOD, HEMINRYE!
- ALL RIGHT, I BELIEVE YOU!
MAKE HIM STOP.
- WE CAN'T, YOUR HIGHNESS.
WE'RE TOO LATE!
- WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
- BUT WE CAN'T GET TO HIM.
- FOLLOW ME!
- WOW, WHERE ARE WE?
- THESE TUNNELS IRRIGATE THE GARDENS.
THE GATES CONTROL THE FLOW OF THE WATER.
- WOW, YOU KNOW THIS PLACE REALLY WELL.
- KNOW IT?
I HELPED DESIGN IT.
NOT THAT THE ROYAL ENGINEERS WOULD EVER ADMIT IT.
- WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU RAISE THIS GATE ALL THE WAY?
- THE TOP TIER OF THE GARDENS WOULD BE FLOODED
AND PROBABLY COLLAPSE.
- LET'S DO IT.
- B-B-BUT THAT'S CRAZY!
YOU COULD DESTROY THIS WHOLE PLACE.
- SO, ISN'T THAT BETTER THAN THE UNIVERSE IMPLODING?
NOT THAT I KNOW WHAT IMPLODING MEANS,
BUT I KNOW IT'S NOT GOOD.
- HE'S RIGHT.
WE HAVE TO STOP HEMINRYE, NO MATTER WHAT THE COST.
[grunting]
[laughing]
[thunder cracks]
- TOO CLOSE.
- PULL, PULL.
- QUICKLY, THIS WAY.
- WHAT'S GOING ON?
NO, COME BACK, COME BACK!
NO!
- HURRY.
THERE'S AN EXIT UP AHEAD.
THERE GOES THE CHERRY ORCHARD.
- UH, YOUR HIGHNESS, I THINK WE'VE GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS.
[water rushing]
- WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS.
- YOU HEARD OF SNOWBOARDING?
WELL, WELCOME TO MUDBOARDING.
[cheering]
- AH!
- THE BOOK.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT
IT SURVIVED.
- I WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME FOR THE GARDENS.
- IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION, YOUR MAJESTY,
THEY'LL STILL BE FAMOUS OVER 2,000 YEARS FROM NOW.
- MORE FAMOUS THAN MY HUSBAND?
- OH, MUCH MORE.
- I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL HIM.
- OKAY BOOK, TAKE US HOME.
HOME.
UH, MAYBE WE SHOULD LET IT DRY FIRST?
- HERE, GIVE IT TO ME.
WE'D BE HERE FOR CENTURIES BEFORE YOU'D FIGURE OUT
HOW TO USE IT PROPERLY.
AND TO THINK THAT ONE DAY YOU'RE GOING TO BE A WARP WIZARD.
- WARP WIZARD, WHAT'S THAT?
WAIT, YOU HAVE TO TELL ME MORE.
WHEN DO I GET TO BE A WARP WIZARD?
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?
COME BACK.
[ominous music]
- GREAT MARDUK, I HAVE FAILED YOU!
PLEASE TAKE MERCY ON YOUR HUMBLE SERVANT.
- YOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED ME, HEMINRYE.
AND FOR THAT YOU WILL BE SMITED.
- USELESS IMBECILE.
- YOU'RE NOT MARDUK.
- NO, I'M JACK.
SOME CALL ME MAD.
I PREFER THE TERM "DIABOLICALLY BRILLIANT."
- NO, PLEASE!
DON'T SEND ME INTO THE FUTURE WITH THAT THING AGAIN.
IT WAS HORRIBLE.
- TRUE, MY LITTLE INVENTION DOESN'T PROVIDE
AS SMOOTH A RIDE AS THE BOOK, BUT IT WILL HAVE TO DO
UNTIL I GET BACK WHAT'S RIGHTFULLY MINE.
TA-TA.
- [yelling]
- I'M COMING FOR YOU JOE.
[wicked laughter]
- AFTER A COUPLE OF DAYS IN THE LIBRARY,
SAM MANAGED TO TRANSLATE THE CLAY TABLET
I'D BEEN CARRYING AROUND.
- WELL, IS IT REALLY JUST A SHOPPING LIST?
- THIS FIRST LINE WAS REALLY HARD TO TRANSLATE.
YOU SEE, SOME OF THE CHARACTERS ARE LIKE LITTLE PICTURES,
WHILE OTHERS ARE LIKE LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET, SO I--
- SAM, JUST TELL US WHAT IT SAYS.
- HICK STREET BETWEEN CHURCH AND JORALEMON.
FIFTH HOUSE ON THE LEFT.
IT'S YOUR ADDRESS.
- THAT'S IT?
NOTHING ABOUT WHO REALLY TOOK THE BOOK
OR ME BEING A WARP WIZARD?
- SORRY.
- WELL, MR. WIZARD, IT'S TIME FOR KING FRED
TO BE HEADING HOME.
YOU COMING, SIR SAM?
- WHY AM I JUST A SIR?
I MEAN, CAN'T I AT LEAST BE A--
AN EARL OR A DUKE OR--
- JOE OF BROOKLYN, WARP WIZARD.
WIZARD OF THE UNIVERSE, MASTER OF ALL--
- [clearing throat]
- SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOU, WARP WIZARD,
BUT I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MR. VACUUM.
THIS ROOM IS A MESS.
- OKAY, OKAY.
- WHY DON'T I HOLD ON TO THIS TO KEEP YOU
FROM GETTING DISTRACTED.