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Sam: What happened?
Fred: You touched that page in the book.
That?s what happened!
Sam: Yeah, but I wasn?t the one who
took it out of the safe!
Fred: We have to do something!
Joe is disappearing right before out eyes.
Sam: Huh. Look, let?s not spend the whole
day arguing.
[Screams]
Fred: Wait a minute! False alarm!
Sam: Haha. I knew that. I think it?s a statue
of the Hindu god, Shiva.
I?ve seen something like it at the museum.
Huh! We must be in India!
Cape: Here, Prince Mahaloogie.
You?ll get the rest
when you win the marriage contest.
Mahaloogie: I want an elephant, too.
A big one, with flames painted on the tusks.
Cape: Alright, alright!
I?ll throw in an elephant!
Just make sure Prince Karna loses.
Fred: Prince Karna? Wasn?t that the name
we saw in the book right before we warped?
Sam: Yeah! Maybe he?s an ancestor of Joe?s,
and that might have something to do with
why he?s disappearing!
Fred: Okay, here?s the plan!
We split up, follow each of them
Mahaloogie: And die!
Ashok: Hahaha!
Sam: We?re not spies, we swear!
Fred: Yeah! We don?t know anything about
your plan to get rid of that Karna guy!
Mahaloogie: Spies or not,
you filthy mongrels were trespassing on
the sacred ground of the Ellora Caves.
The punishment for that is
Ashok: Can Ashok step on their heads now?
Mahaloogie: No, Ashok. Let?s let the
vultures take care of them.
Mahaloogie: Hahaha!
Ashok: Hahaha!
[Vultures]
Fred: No!
[Song] Be careful what you wish for!
Go!
There they go,
three boys surfing on the time continuum.
There they go,
Green mist fills the air,
the book can take them anywhere!
Go!
There they go,
three girls warping time
it's 2105.
There they go,
you can catch a ride
with the Time Warp Trio.
Go!
Traveling through history
with the Time Warp Trio.
Go!
Joe: You?re probably wondering why
I wasn?t part of the buzzard buffet
back in eighth century India.
Well, it?s all because I couldn?t find my
shoes that morning,
Or my feet.
Huh? Aah!
Fred: Why ?d we have to come right over?
It?s eight thirty in the morning.
Sam: Yeah, it better be important because
I was this close to winning the mathalon
in my dream.
Fred: That?s your idea of a good dream?
Joe: It?s important, alright! Look!
Fred: What are we looking at?
Did you get a hair cut?
Joe: My whole lower half is gone.
I?m disappearing!
Fred: Oh yeah! That is bad.
Sam: Bravo! Good one, Joe!
What are you going to do for an encore?
Joe: It?s not magic, I swear!
First my feet vanished, then my legs,
now this!
It?s working its way up!
Fred: But if your legs are gone,
how come you?re still standing?
Joe: I don?t know. I can?t explain it.
It?s like I?m here, but I?m not.
Sam: Wow! Your parents must be upset
after all of the money they spent on pants.
Joe: Sam, this is serious!
Wait a second. I haven?t seen my mom
all morning.
What if she?s disappearing, too?
What if she?s already gone? Mom!
Sam: Disappearing legs? Oh, it?s better than
the missing thumb trick. I?ll give him that!
What?
You don?t actually believe him, do you?
Fred: Sam, you know Joe?s not that
good at magic.
Something must be going on with the book.
Sam: Uh, Fred, wait.
Let?s not jump to conclusions.
Joe said never touch the book unless
Okay. You?re touching it.
Fred, please don?t touch
Fred, now that?s
some definite touching going on!
Fred: Whoa! We?ve never seen this before!
Sam: Hey! No mist! It?s a family tree.
See?
The horizontal lines connecting people
represent marriages,
and the vertical lines represent offspring.
Fred: Hey! There?s Joe!
It?s like his branch is short-circuiting
or something.
Sam: Hey! You?re right!
The problem goes all the way back to the connection
between someone named Prince Karna
and Princess Lakshmi.
That must be the weak link! Right here!
Oops!
Sam: Uh, uh. Shoo, shoo!
Polly wanna different head!
Fred: Buzz off!
Pick on someone your own species!
Sam: Yes!
Fred: Sam! Keep doing that!
Sam: What, screaming?
Fred: No, moving your head.
Your glasses are blinding the bird.
Sam: Yeah! Take that you oversized pigeon!
Go pick on someone your own size!
Sam and Fred: Aah!
Sam: Of all of the horrible things that
ever almost happened to us,
I think that might?ve been the worst.
Fred: Think again!
Karna: Excuse me. It is disrespectful
to block the path of a prince.
Please remove yourselves.
Fred: Uh, we?d love to, but as you can see,
we?re a little stuck.
Karna: Hmm. I really shouldn?t even be
looking at you.
You are most likely of a very low caste.
Fred: Caste? Does he think that we?re
in some play?
Sam: No, Fred!
It?s the word for the ancient
Indian class system.
There were priests, warriors, merchants,
servants and outcasts.
He probably thinks we?re outcasts.
Fred: Outcasts? We?re not outcasts!
Sam: What he means, your highness,
is that we?re princes, too.
Princes from Brooklynistan.
Karna: Really?
I?ve never heard of such a place!
The Gupta Empire is vast, indeed.
You must be here for my Swayamvara.
Sam and Fred: Yes, exactly!
Sam: Um, this Swaya,
what you said,
It doesn?t involve large carnivorous birds,
Does it?
Karna: Of course not! A Swayamvara is
a wedding contest.
Whoever wins the trials will win the
princess?s hand.
You?re not competitors, are you?
Fred: Uh, no. We?re a little young to
be getting hitched.
Karna: Good. Princess Lakshmi is more
beautiful than ten thousand peacocks,
and it is my destiny to marry her.
Sam: Hey! This must be Prince Karna,
Joe?s ancestor.
Fred: Yeah, and if what we overheard at the caves
is true, then we better watch his back.
Karna: There?s the princess.
Is she not radiant?
Fred: Yeah, I guess.
What?s that spiky-headed thing
standing next to her?
Sam: It?s Samantha! And Freddie! Yahoo!
Hey! We?re over here!
Freddi: What are you guys doing here?
Where?s Joe?
Fred: He?s at home. At least half of him is.
Sam: It?s the weirdest thing.
Everything from his waist down
has vanished. At first, I thought it was just
one of his lame tricks.
Samantha: It isn?t!
Someone?s trying to alter his history.
Jodi knew something was up when her
pinkie toe started fading.
Freddi: If Joe?s already half gone,
we don?t have much time.
Okay, we know someone is trying to keep
Karna and Lakshmi from marrying.
Now, all we have to do is find out who.
Ashok: Make way for Prince Mahaloogie!
Mahaloogie: Oh, Princess.
You are fairer than the fairest nose.
I mean rose. With your permission,
I, too, shall compete for
your hand in marriage.
Lakshmi: I suppose it will make
the contest more interesting.
King Sitaram: My Daughter has spoken!
Let the Swayamvara begin!
Samantha: Okay. Here?s the plan.
We?ve already become friends with
Lakshmi, so we?ll work on her.
You two help Karna win the trials.
King Sitaram: First, we shall see
who is better with a bow and arrow.
Whoever comes closer to the fish eye wins.
[Applause]
Fred: Is that the best that you can do?
My grandmother can shoot better than that!
We?re toast!
Sam: No we?re not!
Archery isn?t about strength.
It?s about precision.
You can do this. Just relax.
If you relax, you?ll do fine.
If you?re tense, you?ll lose, okay?
Are you relsxed?
Good! Then keep relaxing, and smile!
The princess is watching!
Happy face, happy face!
Karna: Argh!
Freddi: Okay, that was
Samantha: Pathetic! I mean, he is so cute!
Come on! Have you ever seen a cuter prince?
King Sitaram: Next trial: chaturanga!
Karna: Rook to G7!
Sam: I knew the Indians invented chess,
but I didn?t know they were so good!
This game is amazing!
Fred: Yeah! And exhausting!
Are we near the end, yet?
Karna: Checkmate!
Sam: He did it! He won!
He used the old
cow?s basket queen side
rook pin gambit, and Mahaloogie fell for it.
Whoo hoo!
Mahaloogie: Ow!
Fred: Okay. Mahaloogie?s won one trial,
and you?ve won one. This is the tiebreaker.
Are you ready?
Sam: Whatever you do,
just don?t let go of the reins!
King Sitaram: Princes, take your chariots!
[Horn]
Fred: And they?re off!
It?s Mahaloogie on the inside by a lick.
Here comes Karna! Karna?s gaining!
Karna?s coming up strong!
They?re neck and neck on the inside stretch!
Wait! Karna?s pulling ahead!
Sweet shepherd chariot, look at that kid go!
Sam: Hey! He can?t do that!
Fred: Huh! Karna?s out of control!
He?s going to crash!
Sam: Into us! Aah!
Sam: Wait! The horse is going into the turn!
I think he?s going to miss us!
Fred: Yeah, but Karna?s still going to
get hurt unless we do something!
Fred: Huh!
Grab him as he comes by!
Sam: What? I thought you said we?
We?ve got to get up on that horse!
It?s our only chance!
Karna: Alright! You first!
Sam: Come on!
Thank you! It was nothing, really!
King Sitaram: Hahaha!
Well, my little lotus blossom.
Since there was no clear winner of
the competition,
you may choose which one to marry.
Lakshmi: I choose, you!
Sam: Say what?
King Sitaram: Him? He is but a foreigner!
You must choose someone from
your own caste, my pet.
Lakshmi: You said I get to pick
which one. Well, this is the one I pick.
I don?t care if he has the hair of a wet
mongoose and smells like camel sweat.
King Sitaram: Lakshmi.
Do not use such vulgar language.
Lakshmi: It?s him or no one!
Sam: Uh, no one is good!
I approve of no one!
King Sitaram: How many cows do you own?
Sam: Cows? None!
I have a hamster.
King Sitaram: That will do! Congratulations!
Stay with us so we can get to know
you better! Hahaha!
Sam: But I can?t get married!
I?m only in fifth grade! Guys!
Do something!
Samantha: Don?t worry, Sam!
We?ll get you out of it!
Freddi: We better! If we don?t,
that?s the last we?ll ever see of Joe and Jodi!
Karna: How could she not choose me?
We were meant to be together!
It must be because of my bad karma.
Freddi: Oh, that?s not true.
You have lovely karma, whatever that is!
Karna: Karma is the cosmic order
of all things. I am paying for wickedness
committed in a previous life.
I just stepped on a worm!
Now my karma will be even worse!
Freddi: Oh, this isn?t good.
Lakshmi is never going to fall in love
with Karna if he stays like this!
Fred: Well, we?ve got to do something.
If Sam gets married,
he?ll become Joe?s ancestor,
and then Joe will get all Sammish.
I can?t have two Sams in my life.
Samantha: There has to be some way of
getting them together.
Your highness?
Do you have any special talents?
Karna: I am fond of magic.
Observe as I painlessly remove my thumb.
Fred: So that?s where Joe gets it from.
Samantha: Anything else?
Karna: No. Aah. Oh, god of love,
how can thy darts be so keen?
Samantha: Did you just make that up?
Karna: I was quoting the great poet,
Kalidasa.
Freddi: That?s it! Poetry!
He?ll win the princess with poetry!
Karna: I will?
But that?s all the Kalidasa I know!
Samantha: Don?t worry about material.
We?ve got everything you need
right here!
Mahaloogie: Karna has lost.
Cape: Excellent!
Your elephant is parked in the rear!
Mahaloogie: You know, the strangest thing is,
she didn?t choose Karna, or me.
She picked this ugly foreigner with
crystals on his eyes.
Cape: What? What foreigner?
Mahaloogie: Uh, there were these
two youths .They were helping Karna.
Cape: I knew those little warp runts would
find a way to mettle in!
Well, at least this time, I came prepared.
Mahaloogie: Hey! My money!
Cape: You?ll be paid when you deliver
these sweets to princess Lakshmi.
Mahaloogie: First, you don?t want her
to get married.
Now you?re giving her gifts?
Cape: Gifts that contain a lethal poison.
Anyone who takes a bite will die in seconds.
Still hungry?
Mahaloogie: Gulp!
Cape: Those foreigners are going to try
to get Karna and Lakshmi together.
But there can?t be a wedding if
the bride is dead! Hahaha!
Sam: Ow!
Lakshmi: that?s three for me,
and none for you! Let?s try the left hand.
Sam: No! No more!
My knuckles are all bruised.
Lakshmi: Fine! You choose he next game.
Sam: I don?t want to choose the next game.
I want to go home!
Lakshmi: Look here,
Sam from Brooklynistan.
You think I want to marry you?
Sam: You don?t?
Lakshmi: Of course not!
I just thought if I chose someone
outside of my caste,
my father would cancel the wedding.
But he didn?t. So starting tomorrow,
we?ll be together for the rest of our lives!
Sam: I know a game we can play.
It?s called hide and go seek.
You close your eyes, count to twenty,
and then try to find me. Okay? Ready?
Lakshmi: One, two, three, four, five.
Sam: Aah! What are you doing here?
Mahaloogie: Oh!
I?m delivering an early wedding present.
Make sure the princess gets these.
[Sneeze]
Oh, uh. Have a few yourself.
They?re delicious! Hahaha!
Sam: I wouldn?t let my worst enemy
touch anything that?s been near
that phlegm factory.
Lakshmi: Found you!
That was much too easy.
Let?s do something about
your ridiculous hair.
Freddi: Don?t worry about a thing.
Just repeat whatever I say.
Sam: Prince Karna!
Boy, am I glad to see you!
She was just about to
Lakshmi: Please? Just a little off the top.
Oh, hello!
Karna: Uh, uh.
Freddi: Hello.
Karna: Hello.
Freddi: Thy beauty is a fresh leaf,
which no hand has torn from its stock.
Karna: Thy beauty is a fresh leaf,
which no hand has torn from its stock.
Freddi: A pure diamond,
which no polisher has handled,
Karna: A pure diamond,
which no polisher has handled,
Fred: How long before she falls in love
with him? This poetry is making me tired.
Samantha: I don?t know,
but Kalidasa wrote thousands of verses.
I hope we don?t have to hear all of them.
Fred: I?m going to go find some shade.
Hmm.
Freddi: A blossom whose fragrance
Agh! Get away, you stink pot!
Karna: Get away, you stink pot!
Uh, one moment please!
Freddi: Agh! Let go!
Samantha: Fred. Wake up, Fred!
Freddi: Oh brother!
Samantha: Fred! This is no time for
Freddi: Huh!
Freddi and Samantha: Fred!
Samantha: I found him like this,
and then that bird died.
Sam: These must be poison!
Mahaloogie brought them earlier.
They wanted me to
give them to the princess!
Karna: He has been given the poison
dehli behli, but there is a pulse.
We may still have time.
Quick! We need wormseed, senna leaves,
and cow?s urine.
Samantha: I?ll get the wormseed!
Freddi: I?ll get the senna leaves!
Sam: I?ll
Aw, man!
Karna: This should do the trick!
Fred: Ugh! Blech!
What did you do that for?
Karna: To save your life!
It?s a good thing you didn?t eat
all of the sweets.
I wouldn?t have been able to help you.
Fred: What are you talking about?
I didn?t eat any of them. I was taking a nap!
What?s in that stuff anyway?
Sam: Trust me, Fred.
You don?t want to know!
Lakshmi: Uh! It?s him!
Ashok: I thought you said she?d be dead!
Mahaloogie: Run, you dumb ox!
Karna: Villans! Stay where you are!
[Scuffles]
Karna: Lakshmi is the kindest, smartest,
most beautiful princess in all of India.
Why would you try to kill her?
Answer me!
Lakshmi: Don?t waste your breath
on this snake!
We?ll let my father deal with him!
I should?ve never let him
enter the Swayamvara.
Karna: I am the sky,
Lakshmi: You are the Earth.
Karna: I am the song,
Lakshmi: You are the verse.
Karna: Loving, agreeable,
Lakshmi: Joyful in heart.
Karna: My we live for a hundred autumns.
Freddi: I love a good wedding.
Sam: Me, too! Especially when it?s not mine.
Samantha: Okay, guys.
Now, for the moment of truth.
Freddi: It worked!
Joe and Jodi?s line is restored!
Sam: Now that Joe probably has
his legs back, let?s get out of here!
Fred: There?s one thing I still
don?t understand.
How can a snot-nosed dork
like Mahaloogie change history?
It doesn?t make any sense!
Cape: Unless he had some assistance.
I?ll take that. Thank you very much.
Samantha: We have to stop him!
He?s got the book!
Mad Jack: Haha!
Not quite fast enough, are we?
And you?re supposed to be the athletic one!
Freddi: Huh! Mad Jack!
Fred: Mad who?
Samantha: We?ll explain later!
We have to stop him before he warps!
[Chants]
Mad Jack: Ugh!
Fred: Quick! Get us out of here!
Mad Jack: This isn?t over!
Soon, you?ll all wish you?d never been born!
Joe: It was a good thing I?d had Fred, Sam,
and the girls helping me.
In the few seconds they were away,
I?d lost everything but my head.
Aah! Actually, I kind of lost that, too.
Then, all of a sudden,
everything was back to normal.
Sam: Aah! It?s good to be back!
Joe: You?re telling me!
Who was this Mad Jack?
Fred: Beats me!
Samantha was going to tell us,
but we warped before she could.
Sam: Hey!
Do you think he looked kind of familiar?
Fred: Yeah. Now that you mention it,
He did look a little bit like your Uncle Joe.
Joe: Uncle Joe? That?s weird!
Oh, well!
Who wants pancakes?
Actually, it wasn?t weird at all that they
looked alike, because Mad Jack was really
Voice: Uh, Joe? We?re out of time.
The show?s over!
Joe: Oh, okay!
Guess I?ll have to tell you later!
[Music]