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Joe: Hmm. Snow, snow, snow over there,
and snow!
Sam: You, you forgot to mention the ice.
Joe: Yeah, right. Snow and ice.
Is this what you had in mind, Fred?
Fred: This must be some kind of ski resort.
Listen! I hear voices.
Sam: Yeah. I hear them, too. They?re saying
Fred is a total idiot!
Fred: Watch! I bet there?s a ski lift right
over this hill. Whoops!
Sam: What do you mean whoops?
What?s whoops?
Fred: It?s nothing.
Let?s look somewhere else.
Sam: Oh man! This is worse than I thought!
Fred: Don?t freak, okay. I bet there?s
a ski chalet right behind that hill.
Sam: That hill? That hill is a volcano!
We?re doomed! We?re
[Screams]
Sam: Was that an earthquake?
Joe: Either that, or Fred just fell.
Fred: Ugh, guys?
[Screams]
[Song] Be careful what you wish for!
Go!
There they go,
three boys surfing on the time continuum.
There they go,
Green mist fills the air,
the book can take them anywhere!
Go!
There they go,
three girls warping time
it's 2105.
There they go,
you can catch a ride
with the Time Warp Trio.
Go!
Traveling through history
with the Time Warp Trio.
Go!
Sam: Dear Diary,
Today pretty much stinks.
Bye for now,
Joe.
You?re kidding, right?
You have to write more than that!
Miss Haney will give you a D!
Joe: P.S. Sam is driving me nuts.
I know, that was mean,
but we?ve been stuck in traffic for ten hours,
I have to keep a diary for English class,
And on top of all of that,
Fred just
Sam: Eww! Ugh! Who did that?
Joe?s Mother: Alright, boys.
Try to stay calm.
We should be out of this jam in
about five minutes.
Fred: You know, surfer dude would never
put up with this.
He?d use his powers to warp to
the beach or something.
Sam: His powers? Fred!
That?s a comic book, not real life.
Fred: Yeah, well in our real life,
we?ve got a magic book.
But do we ever use it for fun?
No!
Joe: What do you mean?
Fred: I mean, why don?t we use the book
and go someplace cooler,
like a beach or skiing or something.
We can come back when the traffic clears up.
Sam: Uh, Fred.
We did go to a beach, remember?
And there were sharks and a gun and
oh yeah, a blood-thirsty pirate.
Joe: That was a million years ago.
We?re total pros now. Let?s see Jodi said,
hmm.
Fred: I remember exactly.
You just punch this button,
and then type in where you want to go.
So what do you think, guys?
Malibu? Aspen?
Fred: What?s going on? I didn?t type
[Screams]
Joe: Well, Fred. Once again, you?ve worked
your special powers with the book.
Sam: Oh, yeah. He?s a total pro.
Fred: It wasn?t me, okay?
I didn?t even have time to type.
Sam: Look. Do you still have the book?
Joe: Wait! I do. Sorry, wrong book.
Sam: Great! We?re shark meat.
Fred: Help!
Sam: Who are you calling?
This place is empty.
We?re stuck on an iceberg.
We?re going to freeze to death!
Garrard: Hang on, boys!
Help is on the way!
Fred: Alright! Ha!
Trio: Whoa!
Sam: Oh, man! My butt is killing me!
Garrard: Grab the rope and
stake it down!
Joe: Got it!
Garrard: Start pulling!
That?s it!
Jolly good!
Pull harder!
Trio: Ugh!
Garrard: I was in similar straights just
last week. I lost my horse, my tent.
You?re lucky.
Sam: Lucky. Oh, yeah. Lucky. That?s us.
Garrard: I?m Cherry. Cherry Apsley Garrard,
a member of the Polar Expedition.
Joe: I?m Joe, this is Sam, and that?s Fred.
Garrard: Ready to move on?
We?re losing the last bit of daylight.
Stay close!
Sam: Stay close. Just try and lose me.
Joe: It being night didn?t seem like such
a big deal. Until we learned that the sun
wouldn?t be back for another six months.
Garrard: Here we are.
Welcome to the heart of Cape Evans,
our humble monument to science and
endeavor, where Englishmen have bravely
gathered to test their medical and
Fred: Um, I hate to interrupt, because,
you know, I really love speeches,
but we?re freezing!
Garrard: Right you are! Tally-ho!
Wilson: Cherry!
Just in time for your favorite meal!
Hello, laddies! Where did you come from?
Did you fall from the sky?
[Laughs]
Joe: Uh, something like that.
Welcome to Antarctica!
There?s plenty of room for you.
That?s for sure!
Sam: Did you hear that? We?re in Antarctica,
and that calendar says 1911?
I wonder if this is Scott?s expedition.
Fred? Is that you?
Sam: Eww!
Fred: Eww!
Joe: Huh!
Fred: Huh! What is this?
Scott: Hoosh. Dried meat, water
and seal liver.
Fred: Mmm. Not bad. Who are you?
Scott: I?m Captain Robert F. Scott,
the leader of this expedition.
Fred: Hey! I know you! I saw your picture
at The Museum of Natural History.
Scott: Of course you know me.
All of England is waiting to hear that
we?ve planted our flag at the South Pole.
Garrard: Unless Amundsen beats us to it.
Scott: Impossible. He?s using dogs;
totally inappropriate.
Man hulling is the only way to go.
Fred: Man hulling? That sounds like a drag.
Garrard: Absolutely ripping! A drag!
Did you hear that, Birdie?
Man hulling, sounds like a drag! Hahaha!
Birdie: My sides are splitting.
Alright, you laggers. Finish up!
Lights out in ten minutes.
[Snoring]
Joe: It?s hard to believe I fell asleep
with Fred in the room, but I did.
And I don?t know,
maybe it was the hoosh,
but I had this really weird dream.
Radio: Testing. One, two, three. Testing.
Joe: Hey, Mom?
Can you turn down the radio?
I?m trying to write.
Sam: Joe? Are you awake? Joe?
Joe: Uh, I am now!
Wow! I just dreamed I was back in the car,
writing in my diary,
and Mom turned into a penguin. Weird!
Sam: Listen!
We have to find the book right away.
We cannot go to the South Pole
with Robert Scott.
This is really, really, really important, okay?
Joe: Okay.
Uh, Sam?
Sam: Yeah?
Wash your socks. They smell.
Garrard: Ready for a spot of man hulling?
We?ve got to move some food
over to Hut Point.
Sam: Yeah, sure!
What does that mean, exactly?
Garrard: It?s quite simple. You are the men,
and this is what you hull. Man. Hull.
Man. Hull.
Fred: Yeah, yeah. I think we got it.
Garrard: Then tallyho!
Sam: Oh, great!
As if being in the middle of nowhere
wasn?t bad enough,
now we have to drag a giant sled behind us?
Joe: Look on the bright side, Sam!
Maybe we?ll find the book
somewhere out here.
Trio: Ugh! Argh!
Fred: Ugh! Ugh! This isn?t working!
How about I push and you guys pull?
Joe: Whatever.
Fred: Ready? Pull!
[Shooting Noise]
Garrard: Blast! Missed him!
Sam: Was that a seal?
Did you just shoot a seal?
Garrard: Of course! How else are we to eat?
Sam: But you can?t do that! Those are seals!
They?ve got like babies and stuff.
Eating seals is immoral, okay?
Fred: Since when are you a vegetarian?
Sam: Since I smelled that hoosh!
Joe: You know, I don?t mean to complain,
but I?m pulling this load all by myself.
Fred: I must be going snow blind.
I could?ve sworn that Joe
was just talking to us.
Garrard: Grab the rope from
the back of the sled! Hurry!
Garrard: Careful!
I don?t want to lose all of you!
Fred: Are you telling me that Joe
is down there?
Sam: How far down?
Garrard: Don?t know! Some crevices are
thousands of feet deep.
Fred: Joe? Can you hear me?
Joe: I?m alright!
I landed on a ledge or something!
Garrard: Steady on! I?m sending down Sam!
Fred: Yeah! We?re sending down.
What? Why Sam?
Sam: That?s a good question, Fred!
Why Sam?
Fred: Well, I don?t mind going.
Garrard: Sorry, friends! Sam is the lightest.
It?s safer this way.
Sam: Gulp!
Garrard: Do you see him?
Sam: You want me to open my eyes?
Yeah! Sure! No problem!
I didn?t see that. I didn?t see a huge
black hole right under my eyes.
Joe: Stop! You passed me!
Sam: Hey! I see him! Pull up!
Third floor, men?s underwear!
Joe: It?s about time you got here.
Garrard: Heave!
Fred: Ho!
Garrard: Heave!
Fred: Ho!
Garrard: Heave!
Fred: Whoa!
Sam: Thanks!
Garrard: Don?t move! It?s a leopard seal!
They?re absolutely deadly!
Fred: Hey, you!
Get out of here, you foul-smelling
hunk of blubber!
Go on! Get lost!
Seal: Roar!
Fred: Roar!
Garrard: One, two, three!
Crowd: [Singing] For he?s a
jolly good fellow,
For he?s a jolly good fellow,
Which nobody can deny!
Alright, Fred!
Fred: It was nothing.
Just courage and brains
and split-second timing.
Sam: Yup! I almost forgive you for
bringing us here in the first place!
Scott: Well, you?ve earned a place on
the winter journey, lads. Good work!
Fred: Thanks! The winter what?
Garrard: The winter journey.
Before heading to the pole,
we?re going to Cape Crozier,
to retrieve eggs from the Emperor Penguin.
Joe: You?re going where? For what?
Wilson: You see, boys. It?s like this.
The emperor penguin is the most
primitive bird in the world.
If we can obtain it?s eggs,
we will be making an incalculable
contribution to science.
We may be able to discover whether or not
birds evolved from reptiles.
Fred: Oh! Well that explains it.
Wilson: It?s simple, really.
All we must do is haul our sleds
over to Cape Crozier.
Then, we?ll build a small laboratory
out of ice,
repel down eight hundred foot cliffs,
find the penguins, and secure their eggs.
Garrard: Exciting, eh? We?ll be doing this
in the absolute pitch dark,
in the coldest temperatures imaginable.
Birdie: We?ll be eating hoosh every night.
We?ll be sleeping in reindeer bags.
We?ll be wearing the same smelly
underwear for weeks on end.
Wilson: What say you boys?
Are you with us?
Are you ready to march into history?
Trio: No!
Joe: I mean, that was a nice speech and all,
but we?re not crazy. No way were we going
to make that trip.
But then, I had another weird dream.
The book. The book.
Radio: Testing, testing. Ah! It?s working!
Joe, can you hear me?
Joe: Are you talking to me?
Radio: Is your name Joe?
Joe: Yes.
Radio: Then of course I?m talking to you!
Huh! Are you looking for a book;
a missing book?
Joe: Yes.
Radio: Then get out of the car and
follow the penguin.
Joe: I?m sorry. That makes no sense.
Radio: This is a dream, you ninny.!
It?s not supposed to make sense.
Joe: Oh, uh, right!
Joe: Uh! The book! Wow! This is so weird.
What does it mean?
Radio: Really, Joe. You disappoint me.
What do you think it means?
Joe: Who are you?
Radio: Alright. Let?s review.
There?s a penguin and under the penguin,
there?s a book. The book.
Now, where can you find
lots and lots of penguins?
Joe: I?ve got it! I?m supposed to go to
Cape Crozier to find the book!
Radio: There you go! You?re a smart boy,
a very, very, very, smart young lad.
Joe: The book! I know where it is!
Come on guys, get up!
We?re going on the winter journey.
Sam: Remind me why we?re here!
Joe: Because I saw it in a dream.
The book is at Cape Crozier,
under a penguin.
Sam: Right. Well, next time you
Have a dream, would you do me a favor?
Joe: Sure. What?
Sam: Leave me out of it!
Garrard: Ah! This looks like a good spot.
Why don?t we stop for the night?
Garrard: Keeping a journal, eh?
I find journal writing just the thing after
a long day of sledging.
Birdie: It?s a bit brisk tonight, laddies!
Forty-seven below.
Joe: At forty-seven below,
your sleeping bags freeze.
At forty-seven below, your clothes freeze.
At forty-seven below, your teeth freeze.
Birdie: Hahaha! Ugh!
Joe: But, what?s a little snow and ice?
There are more important things in life
than being warm.
Garrard: To England!
Wilson: To science!
Joe: To finding the book!
After three weeks,
we made it to Cape Crozier.
We built an igloo laboratory,
repelled down a bunch of cliffs,
and found the penguins.
Only one thing went wrong.
Ugh! I can?t find the book!
Fred: Gee, that?s a shock!
You mean your dream was just a dream?
Joe: It was as real as day, Fred.
I was back in the car,
And a voice came on the radio,
and told me to follow the penguin.
Fred: Oh, I see what you mean!
That makes total sense!
Fred: Hahaha! That was an accident!
I mean it! Hahaha! I?m not kidding!
I thought it was snow!
Garrard: Hurry up, boys! It?s about to blow!
Trio: Aah!
Sam: Hey! Did you find the book?
Joe: No.
Fred: But I got a couple of eggs for you.
Oops, oh well!
Scrambled eggs, anyone? Haha!
Sam: The tent! It?s blowing away!
Fred: I?ll get it!
Garrard: No, Fred! Stop!
That?s one-hundred-mile-an-hour
wind out there. He?ll never survive.
[Screams]
Garrard: I?ll have to go after him.
[Screams]
Birdie: Everyone, grab your bags!
Wilson: Alright, let?s review the situation.
We?re in a hurricane, it?s sixty-seven below,
we?ve just lost out only shelter,
and your friend is out there somewhere,
all alone. Hmm.
Sam: What do you mean, hmm?
Birdie: [Singing]
Sam: Don?t sing that!
Wilson: That?s a fact, sir. And the fact is
Fred: I?m back, and I got the tent!
Am I great, or what?
Trio: Yeah!
Joe: Dear Diary,
Fred got our tent back,
so at least we?re not going to freeze to death.
Now all we have to do is wait for
the storm to stop,
then haul our sled back home,
and oh yeah! Find the book!
Birdie: Bad news! No dinner tonight!
We?re almost out of food.
Garrard: Are you sure?
Did you look through everything?
There must be something in here.
Wait! I hear something!
Trio: Huh!
Joe: The book! We?re saved!
Garrard: Well, I suppose we could eat it.
It might buy us another day or two.
Joe: No, no, no, no! It?s not for eating.
It?s for, uh, okay.
I shouldn?t tell you this,
but this is a magic book.
It?ll take us wherever we want to go.
Birdie: Poor little lad.
It?s enough to drive anyone crazy.
All of this howling, screaming,
screeching wind!
Joe: No, I?m serious. Watch! Haha. It?s uh,
It?s kind of frozen. Uh. Argh.
I?ll just have to pull harder.
Argh! Aah!
There!
Now all I have to do is find the right page.
Ugh!
Then, I just punch this button, and
Sam: It?s not working! Why isn?t it working?
Fred: Maybe it?s like a car
that won?t start in the cold.
Wilson: Here! Hold it close to the flame.
Joe: Dear Diary,
We?ve been stuck in this storm
for three days now. We?re out of food,
we?re out of fuel,
everyone?s kind of losing it,
and, uh, the only thing to do around here is
Aah!
Sleep.
Mad Jack: Joe! Oh, Joey! Joe! Wake up!
Get up, you ninny! I don?t have all day!
Joe: Aah! Mad Jack!
What are you doing here?
Mad Jack: The question you should
be asking is
What are you doing here?
Joe: That?s just what I asked you.
Mad Jack: Not me, you! You! You!
Now! Now! Now! Ask the question!
Joe: Okay! What am I doing here?
Mad Jack: Aah! I brought you here!
I warped you to Antarctica.
That was me, not Fred.
And then, lured you to
its darkest, coldest corner.
Cape Crozier is the only place on Earth
where the book cannot work!
Joe: What are you talking about?
I came here because I had a dream about
Mad Jack: The book? I invaded your dream.
You?ve heard of dream catchers.
Well, I caught your dream,
made a few minor adjustments,
and sent it back.
You?re starving, you?re freezing,
you have the book, but cannot use it!
Joe: Yeah for you! Now what?
Mad Jack: This is enough food and fuel
to get all six of you back to safety.
In exchange, I want the book.
Joe: Uh, uh. I can?t give you that!
You?ll try and conquer the world
or something!
Mad Jack: I don?t want to conquer the world!
I just want to be sole ruler of all eternity!
Joe: No goes!
Mad Jack: Then you?ll stay here and you
and your friends will perish.
Joe: Humph!
Mad Jack: At last! Goodbye, dear nephew!
Hahaha!
Best of luck getting back to Brooklyn!
Joe: So, that?s what happened!
I didn?t have a choice.
Fred: You?ve got to do what
you?ve got to do!
You saved our lives. That?s for sure!
Garrard: Dinner! All the hoosh you can eat!
Sam: Great! I, uh!
I just can?t get enough of that seal liver!
Joe: Wait! How would you like pizza
tonight instead?
Sam: Right! Dream on!
Joe: Aah! Finally! It?s completely thawed!
Okay, Fred. How does it work again?
You just punch this button,
and type in Brooklyn, New York, right?
Sam: But I thought you said!
Fred and Sam: Way to go, Joe! Yeah!
Joe?s Mother: Everything alright back there?
Joe: Um, yeah! Sure, mom! Why?
Sam: I thought you gave the book
to Mad Jack.
Joe: I did. I gave Mad Jack the book.
I just didn?t say which one.
Mad Jack: And now!
The moment I have dreamed of!
The world will soon be mine to command!
Dear Diary,
Today sort of stinks.
Bye for now,
Joe.
Hmm. Forty-seven below. Right.
That?s like the temperature of your
freezer minus eighty degrees. That?s like
What is going on?
Agh! That boy will rue the day!
He will rue the day!
[Cough]
[Music}