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MUSILER 


VOLUME 19 NUMBER AUGUST 1992 


Bits & Pieces 


The Olympics Are Fucked! 
Edited by Scott Schalin 


Feedback 
Your Beef About Our Pink 


Erotic 


Entertainment 
A View to a Thrill 
Edited by Mal 0’Ree 


Sex Play 


Dreams vs. Nightmares: The Difference 
Between Rape Fantasies and Rape 
by Anne Bianchi 


Milk Maid and 
the Man 
A Photo Journal of Love and Loss 


Hot Letters 
A Deli After Dark 


Vanna: Glam Slam 
Photography by Randi Trench 


Burnin’ Love 


Arson as a Sexual Obsession 
Report by Scott Schalin 


Dick ‘nm’ Nicki: Fish 
Report 
Photography by Clive McLean 


and Shoveling Shit § 
My Life as a Strong-Arm Bully Boy 


Testimonial by Eugene Robinson 


(-Te} Nat and Sal: Baste 
to Taste 
Photography by Matti Klatt 


HUSTLER Humor 1 fe} Beaver Hunt 
Edited by Minette Watkins ond Tim Conaway Won't You Be My Neighbor? 


A Mecca of XXX Muff 
Revelations in Raunch With Cheezboy 


Melissa: Crecaum Rises 
Centerfold Photography by James Baes 


Unless they hate marinara 
sauce, lesbians. do} n't have Gipp 


About the only concern is Muff 
Breath because. let's be honest. 
a muff is a terrible thing to taste. 
That’s why LEZTERINE is 
scientifically 
designed to clean out 
dykes from top to 
bottom, first as a 
mouthwash, then 


as a douche. 


eDiets 2a, 


HUSTLER: 


LARRY FLYNT 
editor and publisher 


ALLAN MacDONELL 


executive editor 


JAMES BAES 
director of photography 


RONNIE DRAMA 


art director 


TIM CONAWAY, MINETTE WATKINS 


humor and cartoon editors 


TIM POWER, SCOTT SCHALIN 


associate editors 


MAL O'REE 
entertainment editor 


DAVID S. MOSKOWITZ 
research director 


BRETT WILHOIT, copy editor 
CATRINA MASON, LESLIE C. DUNN, 
editorial assistants 


COMPUTER GRAPHICS 
DAVID BUCHANAN, network systems manager 
QUITA SAXON, LEITA WICHMAN, 
BOBBIE KAMINSKI, assistant managers 


PHOTOGRAPHY 
CLIVE McLEAN, senior photographer 
MATTI KLATT, LADI VON JANSKY, 
photographers 
BETH MORALES, talent coordinator 
KENNETH DeMARTINES, production designer 
JULIE KENNEDY, photo administrator 
STEVE HOPKINS, studio administrator 


PRODUCTION 
GREGORY ROSATI, JOHN A. MOZZER, 
production coordinators 


ADVERTISING 
PAUL ADAMS, national advertising director, 
(310) 858-7155 
KASEY TOWNSEND, advertising assistant 
MARTHA REQUENA, advertising production 
coordinator 


SUBSCRIPTIONS 
IRENE GRADSTEIN, subscriptions director 
For customer service, call (818) 760-8983 


The U.S. edition of HUSTLER (ISSN-0149-4635) is published monthly with 


| exception. Twice s month in September by HG Publications, inc., 9171 
| Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 300, Beverly Hills, CA 90210. Copyright ® 1992 All 


rights reserved. Nothing may be reproduced in whole or in part without 
written permission of the publisher. Return postage must accompany ail 
manuscripts, drawings, photos, etc., if they are to bo returned, and HG 
Publications, inc. assumes no responsibility for unsolicited material. Letters 
sent to HUSTLER will be treated as unconditionally assigned for publication 
and copyright purposes and as subject to HUSTLER’s right to edit and 
comment editorially. Any simiarity between persons and places depicted in 
the ficton sections of this magazine and actual persons or places is purely 
coincidental. All photos posed by professional models except as otherwise 
noted. Neither said photos nor words used to describe them are meant to 
depict models’ actual conduct, statements or personalities, 


HUSTLER AUGUST 1982 VOLUME 19 NUMBER 2 


Single copy, U.S. Edition $4.95, International Edition $5.95 (add $1 postage 
per copy), Special Editon $6.95, Tweive-issue subscription is $39.95. These 
prices represent HUSTLER's standard rate and should not be confused with 
special subscription offers sometimes advertised. Change of address: Six 
weeks advance notice, and old address as well as the new are necessary 
POSTMASTER: Send change of address to HUSTLER, P.O. Box 16568, North 
Hollywood, CA 91615. Second-class postage paid at Beverly Hills, CA, and 
additional making offices. Printed in USA HUSTLER Is registered in the U.S. 
Patent and Trademark Office. The Internationa! Edition of HUSTLER is 
published monthly by Island Destributing Company, Ltd., P.0. Box 1803, Grand 
Cayman, B.W.1., with permission of HG Publications, Inc. 


All nude models are 18 years of age or older. 
Cover photo by Randi Trench 


ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH 


Personal disaster and tragedy can 
either ennoble a man’s spirit or 
bring out the shit that lurks in his 
soul. Every human lifetime has its 
dark stretches, shut off from the 
sun and sky by black walls of de- 
spair, All that can be done is to hun- 
ker down and trudge on toward the 
light at the end of the tunnel 
Unfortunately for Bill Shoemaker, 
HUSTLER’s Asshole of the Month 
for August 1992, that tunnel might 
more aptly be called a rectum 

Bill Shoemaker, the winningest 
racehorse rider in history, cannot be 
accused of having lived an easy life 
Shoemaker was born near the town 
of Fabens, Texas, on August 19, 
1931. At birth, he weighed only 2/4 
pounds. The doctor who delivered 
him at the family home believed the 
baby would not live through the 
night. That he made it alive to the 
following morning was Willie the 
Shoe’s first upset victory. 

Bill Shoemaker grew up in a 
working-poor family during the 
Great Depression. The Shoemakers 
moved around a lot, going wherever 
Bill's father found work. When Bill 
was still a kid, his parents divorced 
The young boy eventually left 
Texas to live with his father in 
Southern California 

Willie got used to beating long 
odds during his years at El Monte 
Union High School. Despite his 
diminutive stature (as a full-grown 
adult, the Shoe stood only 4-11 tall 
and generally weighed in at less 
than 100 pounds), Bill determined 
he would compete in school athlet- 
ics. All 80 pounds of him entered 
the wrestling and boxing programs 


BILL SHOEMAKER 


Driven to excel, he defeated bulki- 
er, taller opponents to become a 
Golden Gloves champ, and he never 
lost a wrestling match, right up un- 
til quitting school in the 11th grade. 

At the age of 16, Bill made a ca- 
reer decision that would define his 
life's work and earn him fame and 
honors. He took a job hauling hay 
and mucking out stables at the 
Suzy Q Ranch, a thoroughbred farm 
in La Puente, California. 

While still in his teens, Shoe- 
maker made the jump from stables 
to saddles. He helped train and work 
out horses, and his natural gift for 
riding was soon spotted, Shoe- 
maker's first win was on April 20, 
1949, at the age of 18. It was only 
his third race. Despite missing the 


first three months of the year, Silent 
Willie—as a 19-year-old apprentice 
rider—finished out 1949 with 219 
wins, the second-highest victory 
total of any jockey in the country. 

The Shoe never looked back from 
his rookie year. His riding career is 
a towering achievement in the his- 
tory of organized competition. He 
may well be the winningest ath- 
lete of modern times. In his 20- 
plus years with the whip, he rode 
40,351 mounts, bringing home 
8,833 first-place finishers. He had 
four Kentucky Derby winners, two 
Preakness winners and five victo- 
ries at the Belmont Stakes. He was 
the first jockey to win $100 million. 
His career purse earnings were 
$123,398,882. 


Willie's stats are truly stagger- 
ing, especially coming from a 2 4- 
pound baby that wasn't expected to 
live through the night. However, a 
different set of numbers for 1990 
are just as sobering: A drunk-driving 
arrest was made every 17 seconds 
that year. Alcohol-related driving 
deaths topped out at 22,083. Half of 
all driving deaths involved booze. Of 
all deaths in the 16- to 20-year-old 
age group, one-quarter were at- 
tributed to drunken car crashes. 

On April 8, 1991, Bill Shoemaker, 
recently retired as a jockey and em- 
barking upon a new career as a 
racehorse trainer, was involved in a 
one-car accident that crushed three 
of his cervical vertebrae and left 
him virtually paralyzed below the 
neck. Willie’s blood-alcohol level 
was recorded as 0.13 at the time of 
the accident, .05 above the legal 
limit. Also, he'd apparently neglect- 
ed to fasten his seatbelt. 

Though friends have remarked 
upon Shoemaker's ability to sock 
away hooch, Bill admits only to a 
few beers earlier in the day. They 
may have been a few too many. 

The man whose hands finessed 
many of the world’s most powerful 
racehorses claims to have lost con- 
trol of his Ford while reaching for a 
cellular phone. Another likely story 
is that he'd been given alcohol- 
based drugs that created an artifi- 
cially high blood-alcohol level 
Shoemaker is suing the State of 
California for $20 million, saying it 
was responsible for his accident. 

The light at the end of Shoemaker's 
tunnel has turned out to be a reflection 
off the toilet-bowl porcelain. 


Jerry Brown and Bill Clinton: This Punch and 
Judy team has done more to guarantee the 
stagnation of the American Presidency than any 
committee to reelect George Bush could ever 


hope to accomplish. Together, they form a two- 
headed Asshole. 

Barbara Bush: The First Lady visited L.A.’s Skid 
Row to demonstrate her compassion for our na- 
tion’s ill-advantaged citizens, but first police 
cleared the area of its inhabitants. Dispossess- 


HUSTLER AUGUST 


FARTS IN THE WIND 


ing a homeless community is an Asshole’s idea 
of a photo opportunity. 

Bruce Springsteen: A self-styled, blue-collar 
rocker and friend of the working man, mega-mil- 
lionaire Springsteen’s new record has been re- 
leased as two separate albums, rather than as a 
reduced-price double record—which means his 
fans must fork out extra recession dollars for the 


package to support Bruce's aristocratic Asshole. 

George Peach: Missouri's chief state prosecutor, 
George Peach spent his 15-year tenure crusad- 

ing against the sexual rights of adults, endorsing 
ordinances that would mandate jail time for 
prostitutes and their customers who are second- 
time offenders, Peach, 49, busted for patronizing 
a prostitute, admitted he had solicited a decoy 
cop. He's one arrest shy of a jail cell, but fully 
qualified for Asshole accommodation. 


West Hollywood plastic 
Surgeon Richard 


Ellenbogen 
is att 
to franchise li oe 


POsuc 
Clinics in Malls = 


throughout the c 
Considering the 
POSSibilities 


ountry, 


ow the FAST 
Se hake il 


fee 
7, 
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SMUT E/E A 


= eee \ ie a Apes, 


There's certainly no crime in a little punishment, and for Walter Branche, 
who sent us this intriguing, classic pose, it’s even profitable. Walter will 
receive $150, and you can too by sending your antique porn to HUSTLER 
Magazine, 9171 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 300, Beverly Hillis, CA 90210— 
with a self-addressed, stamped envelope if you want your material returned. 


es — G) 
> 


ee 


The wife emerges looking fit, trim and exactly like 

= every other media-obsessed object of perfection, 

Atop the jumbo jack, your better-heifer undergoes a fast- leaving you the problem of picking your wife out of 
food make-over of plastic surgery and de-flabbing. the post-lipid lineup. 


: You're a front-runner who believes in better education and 

Ps ores WH é\ 4 “J A ‘ 7 reviving the economy. You want forests instead of 

“~<a gia | r \ 54 factories, and you respect women’s rights. There’s only 
,) 1 \ one problem—you have a penis. And it likes pussy. 


Don’t let your sex drive spoil your chances 

for President, and don’t get caught with your 
platforms down. Instead, drop a donation inside 
one of our silently sexy Candidate’s Companions. 
We squeal in bed, not in the media. 


(REVOLVING ACCOUNTS AVAILABLE 
FOR CARD-CARRYING LIBERALS.) 


HUSTLER’S 


Guide to the Olympics 


The 
Australian f 
basketball team was te 
afraid of contracting AIDS from an American squad that featured 
HIV-positive Magic Johnson. Well, the Down Under Blunderers’ 
new uniforms may hamper their jump shot, but at least the 
Aussies will be safe and sorry when the medals are awarded. 


Tired of Paviovian sexuality 
encased in a silicone chest? 
return to the bawdy spirit OF 
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An investigation is currently under way to 
prove that major clothing manufacturers 
“recruited” female immigrants from China to 
work under slave-labor conditions on the U.S. 
island of Saipan in the Pacific. Housed in 
barbed-wire encampments, the immigrants 
allegedly produced clothing with “Made in 
U.S.A.” labels that were later sold under major 
brand names in this country. So who says 
American entrepreneurs are lazy and stupid? 


t | easuning only 
11x8 1/4", HUSTLER gives 
you. Mohes you never 

knew: “you had. Subscribe 
now! Receive a year of 
special delivenes. You'll 
Save:almost $20 off the 

cover price. 


See this lovely lady suck off the dwart in the 
September issue of HUSTLER. 


— aa 
HUSTLER P.O. BOX 16568 NORTH HOLLYWOOD CA 91615 


esl Sign me up for a 12 issue subscription to HUSTLER for 
© only $39.95! I'll save over $19 off the cover price. 


Name Aaaress 


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(Payment Enclosed Charge My ([iVisa CIMC 


# Exp. Signature 
YN ALL UNMAILED ISSUES. Make checks payable to L.F.P. Inc. California residents add 8.25% 
sales tax, Foreign (including Canada) add $10 per year. You must be 18 years of age or older to order. All 
magazines shipped in unmarked sealed envelopes. Your first issue will arrive in 6 to 8 weeks. WATCH FOR ny 


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— 


YELLOW JOURNALISM 

To HUSTLER, the best magazine in 
prison: I’m from a Filipino gang in Los 
Angeles. I bought your mag for 20 dueats 
($20 of prison play money) “cause it con- 
cerned Asian gangs (Asian Street Gangs: 
The Home Invaders, March °92). Writer 
B. Gordon Wheeler says all the negative 
stuff, but he didn’t explain when he men- 
tioned the Bahala Na Gang that bahala na 
means whoever (or whatever) gives a 


mad fuck in Tagalog. Also, the majority of 


Oriental gangs don’t extort money or do 
burglaries—they just throw house parties 
with rap music and fight each other. My 
gang, for instance, fights Crips, Bloods, 
Mex and whites gangs, but mainly other 
Oriental gangs. 

My homegirls don’t spit razor blades or 
rob people. Most work and go to school. 
One I know is a teller in a Korean bank. 
Another works as a counselor at the Echo 
Park Boys Club to support her three-year- 
old baby. My homeboy cousin works as a 
gofer at a law firm on Wilshire. | used to 
deliver the L.A. Times from midnight to 
afternoon. When I got hard up for money, 
I’d ask my grandmother for some. 

Sure, we crash parties. Who doesn’t? 
And yes, I’ve made mistakes in my life. 
My latest beef was murder two, but I went 
back to court and got manslaughter. Five 
Mex tried to rob me and my girlfriend 
back in ’87; so it was rightly self-defense. 

I'll be 21 in April. When I go home in °93, 
I'll have a welcoming party and be put on 
Veterano status (nonactive duty). P'Il try to 
school the young ones. You give me Amber 
Lynn’s address! Later, homeys! —C. L. 

Vacaville, California 


STAR FLACK 

Dear HUSTLER Feedback: | really need 
to direct this letter to D. F. in Muskegon, 
Michigan (“Bitchin’ Bitches,” Feedback, 


HUSTLER 


AUGUS 


May *92). Although he may well hate the 
feminist movement for possibly the same 
reasons I do, I can see the feminist view- 
point when it comes to men (and I use the 
term loosely) like him. It has to do with 
being referred to as bitches. 

Obviously, this man has absolutely no 
respect for the women who go against 
their families and upbringings to show 
their bodies and fucking ability to him. We 
are professionals who are the absolute key 
to the entire erotic-entertainment industry. 
Without us bitches, there wouldn’t be a 
damn thing for D. F. to stroke his lonely 
penis to. 

Hey, we’re women. We are intelligent, 
and we are in this business fully informed, 
with our minds opened along with our 
legs. It’s unfortunate that the porn world is 
such a boy’s club. It’s the respect that’s 
unlikely to be forthcoming that accounts 
for attitude from an actress or two. It’s 
your fault, D. F., not ours. 


Ricki and Justine: Furnish a Fetish 


Okay; so now you can call me a bitch. 
At least know that in this case it’s for an 
entirely different reason. Lust always, 

—Brandy Alexandre 
Hollywood, California 


DO PROCESS 

I recently ordered a videotape from an 
adult-video company I have been doing 
business with for many years. Eight 
weeks after I mailed my request, my 
check was finally returned with a note 
that read: “We are not able to process 
your order at this time due to the fact that 
our company is under legal scrutiny in 
your area.” 

I called the customer-service number. 
Company officials informed me that my 
state’s legislature had just passed an anti- 
pornography bill prohibiting hardwork- 
ing, taxpaying, law-abiding individuals 
such as myself from viewing such materi- 
als within the confines of my home! 

As you might have already figured out, 
I live in the great state of Florida, where 
bluenose, Bible-thumping jerk-offs would 
rather stop so-called pornography than the 
immense flow of cocaine into this coun- 
try! They must want to see that their chil- 
dren are drug addicts with wholesome 
moral fiber. 

I feel this law is a serious violation of 
my rights. What, if anything, can I do? 
What will be banned next, Playboy, 
Penthouse or even HUSTLER? —B.B. 

Gainesville, Florida 


WE TRY HARDER! 


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What do you want us to do, hit you over 
the head with the Bill of Rights? Write 
your Senator, B. B.! Every HUSTLER 
reader worth the balls between his legs 
should mail his (or her) thoughts to 
the U.S. Senate, The Capitol Building, 
Washington, DC 20510. 


HOG BY ANY OTHER NAME 

I find it disturbing that in the April issue 
of HUSTLER Ron Jeremy is compared to 
a hedgehog (“Hog on the Run,” Feedback, 
April °92). It is true that both are squat, 
fat, hairy, flea-ridden creatures that pos- 
sess the ability to lick their own genitals; 
however, the hedgehog is by nature a 
meek and gentle creature that does not 
seek to offend a soul, which is not true of 
Mr. Jeremy! 

So lay off the humble hedgehog. If 
you must assign a nickname to Ron, pick 
one that will not offend any of the 
Earth’s creatures— perhaps an inanimate 
object like “Hairy Fucking Piece of 
Shit.” Oh, and as for my vote, I say send 
Ron packing. —S. D. 

San Ramon, California 


READY TO LISTEN 
I just finished your article / Cried, You 
Didnt Listen (I Cried, You Didnt Listen: 
A Survivor's Exposé of the California 
Youth Authority, February °92). It really 
hit home. As a juvenile, I was locked up 
three times. Everything Dwight Abbott 
said, I could relate to. | was never raped or 
anything, but it happened around me. I 
would just like to say that I really enjoyed 
the article and couldn’t stop reading until 
I was finished. I would also like to know 
where I could pick up a copy of / Cried, 
You Didn t Listen. —K. H. 
Duncan Falls, Ohio 


The book-length version of I Cried, You 
Didnt Listen, complete with photos and 
coauthor Jack Carter's report on the 
scandalous conditions of American juve- 
nile prisons, is available from Feral 
House Press. Send check or money order 
for $10.95, plus $1.75 postage fee, 
to Feral House, P.O. Box 861893, Los 
Angeles, CA 90086-1893. 


GIRL’S IN THE MIST 
I don’t know if Feedback is the correct 
department for this letter, but here goes. 
My girlfriend is unique in many ways, but 
one of them amazes and somewhat con- 
cerns me. At irregular but rather frequent 
(two or three times a month) intervals, her 
vagina “smokes.” 

When she’s sitting on the toilet urinating 
or defecating, and she “pushes” to get it 
over with, a mist comes out of her pussy. 


HUSTLER AUGUST 


At first, I didn’t believe her, but it is 
true. I’ve witnessed it. It’s not just a little 
wisp— it comes and comes like a cloud. 

What is this, what causes it, and is it 
rare? —F.G. 

Evanston, Illinois 


For entertainment purposes, F. G., 
Feedback is definitely the correct depart- 
ment for your letter. For medical pur- 
poses, best consult a doctor. 


YOU GOT THAT RIGHT 

To whom it may concern: Your magazine 

gives people the wrong impressions.— J. J. 
St. Louis, Missouri 


WRONG IMPRESSION 

I am writing to say I was disappointed by 
HUSTLER and the May 1992 issue be- 
cause you put so many guys on the shit list 
for similar offenses. I thought you would 
have more integrity. 

After buying the issue with the hope of 
finding out how to get free sex, all I found 
out was how false promises would get a 
guy to part with $5. —H.N. 

New York, New York 


H. N. must be referring to “Farts in the 
Wind” (“Farts in the Wind,’ 


2) y eal q i 


’ Bits & 


Pieces, May 92). The shit list included 
Senator Orrin Hatch; Broward County, 
Florida, sheriff Nick Navarro; and 
Israeli Defense Minister Ariel Sharon, 
all for abuse of office. Farts pretty 
much smell the same, don't they? The 
coverline describing free sex referred 
to May's Sex Play (“Can't Beat Beat- 
ing: Masturbation Comes Out Swing- 
ing,” Sex Play, May '92). No false 
promise intended. 


PITPICKER 
Thank you very much for Michelle 
(Michelle: California Creamin’, April 
*92). There are two very good reasons why 
I want to express my feelings about her. 

One: Two weeks ago, when I bought a 
copy of HUSTLER and saw Michelle’s 
carefully shaven, smooth and sleek 
armpits, you can’t understand what deli- 
cious vibrations I felt in my iron-hard 
cock. And then, how generously, willing- 
ly, almost defiantly she shows them to 
her adorers! 

You understand now, I am an armpit 
adorer. My compliments to photographer 
James Baes for some very nice, close 
shots of her smooth and sleek armpits. 

Two: I want to talk about Michelle’s 
(continued on page 25) 


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Three-Quarters Erect. Directed by Poul Thomas; starring Hyapatia Lee, P J. Sparxx, Kym 
Wilde, Jon Dough and Scott Irish. Videocassette: Vivid. 


Director Paul Thomas is a romantic at heart, a sentimentalist who favors emotional attachments 
over one-night stands. He's also a pessimist and a bit of a masochist; so his stories place 
characters into situations that twist their heartstrings and put their minds through a psychological 
house of mirrors. In | Do 3, Hyapatia Lee is the “other woman” to two married men, a 
circumstance she thinks she can handle, but really it tears her up inside. She’s sad and lonely. In 
an exceptionally melancholy masturbation sequence, her hidden rage and haunting self-doubt 
envelop her in a blanket of lost love—as thoughtful a moment as is to be found in porn. The 
sex is tangible and real (especially the very-married P. J. Sparxx and Scott Irish couch-wrestling), 
the dialogue rings true, and the visual artistry and symbolism of Kym Wilde and Hyapatia Lee’s 
lesbian love is a breath of fresh air in today’s schlock market. — Switch Bulger 


As thoughtful 0 moment as you'll find in porn. Lesbian love as art. 


HUSTLER AUGUST 


Mediocre fucking clouds the Crystal ball. 


Kon TRIAL 2 


r PB 
fa Vi P : pan LH N a 
Half Erect. Directed by Stuart Canterbury; starring Danielle Rogers, Comeo, Marilyn Rose, Mercedez, 


Sharon Kane, Sunny McKay, Randy Spears, Ron Jeremy, Bitf Malibu ond Dick Nasty. Videocassette: AFV 
Releasing. 


Although the sex in the first Camp Beaverlake was a bit hotter and the girls a bit younger, Part 2 has os 
mony sex scenes and a stronger plot, though a similar, desperate, what-do-we-do-next? atmosphere 
pervades. There’s no swimming pool this time, but there is a paddock where two fillies get pumped. A 
couple indulges in an impromptu pud/poon picnic, Sharon Kane and Sunny McKay share a fevered, 
tongue-to-twat lunch, and one gent risks having his thighs crushed as a hefty-hammed strumpet bounces 
on them. Beaverlake 2 is one of the few sequels that is no worse than the original, but we probably 
won't be able to say that about the next one. — Chas Beatty 


x BACKSEAT BUSH 


One-Quarter Erect. Directed by Jean-Pierre Ferrand; starring Angela Summers, Raven, Brigitte Aime, 
Summer Knights, Stacey Nichols, Ted Wilson, Nicholas Rage, Ca! Jammer and Steve Drake 
Videocassette: Las Vegas Video. 


This 1950s-period piece: of crap centers around action occurring in a retro-pink diner and a stationary, 
pink, vintage convertible. The initial sandwiching of super-slut Brigitte Aime ends with on anal/voginal 
DP. but the momentary heat of this tri-schtup is soon lost. Raven slumbers through a quick kittyick with 
featured muff Angela Summers. Summer Knights buttingers herself while her swain grunts and pumps. 
Stacey Nichols’s deflated tits are as depressing os the rest of this flick, and even the hosing she allows 
her anus can’t revive strokers’ waning wood. Although fairly thick with sex, the incredibly irksome 
segues between sexual-position changing, lighting that illuminates every crack in pancake makeup and 
stretched dick pore, and listless boning will have limp viewers wishing that some of the lazy performers 
would get out of the backseat and give this flick push. — Dewey Huevos 


SCENES FROM A 
CRYSTAL BALL 


Half Erect. Directed by Jim Enright; starring Tonisha Mills, Melanie Moore, K. C. Williams, Rose 
Hunter, Tony Tedeschi and T. I. Boy. Videocassette: Zane Entertainment. 


Surprisingly, one of porn’s great assets is its realism. In mainstream movies, characters looking into o 
crystal ball are always on some obtuse quest, though anyone with even semifunctional gonads knows 
they would secretly watch friends fuck—and that’s exactly what Tony Tedeschi does with trollops 
Melanie Moore and K. C. Williams. But just as crystal balls tend to get cloudy after time, the fucking 
here tends to freeze over as well. Not even Melanie Moore’s gigantic ginch swallowing T. T. Boy's 
tongue can halt the film’s decline. By the time Tedeschi bones Moore and K. C. Williams, most viewers 
will abandon director Jim Enright for onother muff-mystic. — Kent Lelak 


One-Quarter Erect. Directed by Paul Thomas; starring Savannah, 


Jeanna Fine, Christy Canyon, Jon Dough and Mickey Ray. Videocassette: 


Vivid Video. 


Corners were cut and expense was spared in On Trial. Approximately one- 
quarter of this movie is taken up with scenes from Part 7. The remaining 
45 minutes contain Jeanna Fine providing all the energy in a lackluster, 
mostly soft-core scene with Savannah, who licks Jeanna’s pussy maybe 
twice; a threeway with Fine, Jon Dough and—ho hum—Sovannah; 
Savannah fucking Mickey Ray (she actually sucks his dick!); and Christy 
Canyon teamed with some lousy-lay dude who takes so long to come that 
they fake on interior cum-shot just to get the scene over with. On Trial is 
0 trial. —C.B. 


18 


b: ee | 


Watching Savannah fuck is a Trial. 


AUGUST HUSTLER 


Buttman needs on editor. 


BUTTMAN’S 
EUROPEAN 
VACATION 2 


Half Erect. Directed by John Stagliano; starring Nikki Pearce, 
- Louise Armani, Joy Karins, Christine de Bausseand, Flavia 
Voltige, Sara Walker, Louise Pike, Tracy Gibb, Rocco Siffredi, 
Anthony Marko, Phillip, and John Stagliano. Videocassette: 
Evil Angel. 


Somebody please take up a collection so John Stagliano can hire 
a film editor! Furopean Vacation 2, shot in England and France, 
has nice stuff in it, but nothing that cutting 60 minutes wouldn’t 
improve. Stagliano’s movies have always run long, but this trip 
comes in at 140 minutes, twice that of o standard fuck film, and 
contains only five sex scenes. The best part is that we get to see 
new girls. They're not always the youngest or the prettiest, but 
at least they’re not the tired, old squack that turn up with 
numbing regularity in U.S.-porn snooze-alongs. While we see ass 
cheeks and bungholes aplenty, there’s no buttfucking. The 
hottest scene has Rocco Siffredi slamming rag doll Tracy Gibb, 
but, of course, even this goes on too long. —C.B. 


« > ae 
re = 
Se 


Goddaughter: Cameo speaks an international language. 


HUSTLER 


AUGUST 


GRASS ROOTS RUT 


FOXE IS THE PEOPLE’S CHOICE OF PORN 


he 2nd Fans of X-Rated Entertainment 
(FOXE) awards show rocked and rolled 
Porn Valley February 16, 1992, from 
the vost interior of the Country Club, a 
hobbling, former show palace with no 
liquor license and overstaffed with 
coldhearted security guards who only smiled 
when they were kicking the crowa out at the 


housewife to a strutting, whip-wielding pussy 
freak from hell, was far from bored. For sure, Fan 
of the Year Howard Hurley was anything but 
blasé when o squadron of half-dressed porn 
queens descended upon him and covered him 
with their affection. To get on the track for next 
year's bash, contact FOXE, 8033 Sunset 
Boulevard, Suite 851, Los Angeles, CA 90046; 
or call the FOXE hot line, (213) 656-6545 


end. Nearly 800 civilians and celebs jammed in 
to acknowledge what organizer William Margold 
hailed as the “people’s choice of porn.” FOXE 
doesn't mess around with a lot of awards— 
only three were handed out: Fan Favorites, 
Christy Canyon, Ashlyn Gere, Nina Hartley, 
Selena Steele, Tom Byron and Peter North; 
Vixen of the Year, Teri Weigel; and a special nod 
to Ginger Lynn, as recently deceased smut scribe 
Mark Weiss’s alltime favorite. What FOXE does 
best is entertain, and anyone who saw Laurel 
Canyon squatting and spreading and showing 
why she’s a headlining erotic dancer, or 
Madison's dazzling transformation from a dowdy 


- GODDAUGHTER 


Half Erect. Directed by Fred J. Lincoln; starring Cameo, Joey Silvera, Alicyn 
Sterling, Stacey Nichols, Randy West, Marc Wallice, Summer Knights, Nick 
Knights and Fred J. Lincoln. Videocassette: AFV. 


Cameo is about as Italicn as o hotdog and fries, but her inch-long nipples 
speok an international language all their own. As the video's dangerous lead 
bod, she inadvertently causes Marc Wallice’s death when her godfather (Fred 
J. Lincoln) discovers Wallice’s nose wedged up Comeo’s comely cunt. At the 
don's request, Cameo emigrates to America, where director Lincoln zooms in 
tight on pink, puckering assholes. Otherwise, the plot crawls to a forgettable 
cliffhanger while the looped dialogue sounds like it was mixed by a deaf mon. 
But who needs words? Summer Knights tosses her gymnast’s body over a 
sofo and earns a perfect score for an exuberant orgasm with Nick Knights 
that’s more genuine than the movie's use of locales ond gorbled, Italian 
accents. — luc Faucette 


—| 


Maddams: It’s better than it looks. 


Screwballs tries to be funny, but is uninspired. 


- AWAKENING IN 
BLUE 


Half Erect. Directed by Rick Savage; starring Ginger Thomas, Patricia Kennedy, Samantha York, 
Ron Hightower, John M. Thomas, Rick Savage and Paige Pilar. Videocassette: Pleasure Productions. 


Fans of double vaginal insertion will find a sweet spot in the middle of Awakening where eager cunt Y ff 
Ginger Thomas temporarily houses the salt-and-pepper schween tandem of Ron Hightower and John ; 

M. Thomas. This dual dorking takes place during a very strange, extended scene at a surreal strip 
show, complete with meandering saxophone accompaniment. Blue ends with a heartwarming pump 
wherein Rick Savage's long pussy cork and on ominous black-and-chrome vibrator both take up 
residence deep inside Samantha York's wide-open pussy. Although Awakening fluctuates between by- 
the-numbers sex, lingering shots of feet and Stagliano-style body worship, the theme of Savage's 


boner amnesia ties it together fairly well. 
20 


LUSTING LONDON 
STYLE 


Half Erect. Directed by Frank Thring; starring Sandrine, Lee Francis, Jule Lockes, Arthur Potts, Linda 
Brown, Christophe Clark, Madison, Caroline Du Barre, Julia Lodge, Christy Donn, Gregory Mann and 
Steve Perry. Videocassette: VCA. 


Crumpet-stuffed bellies, pasty uncut dinks, furry trash cunts and Madison —that’s what Lusting’s got 
going for it. Those bored with the usual San Fernando Volley, foke-tit/foke-ton tarts might enjoy this 
taste of the Old World. There are plenty of foreskin-swizzling blowjobs, cunt-stuffings and bottom- 
plungings, with a little kink thrown in. Actually, the film is written, acted and directed in a most Yankee 
way, thus avoiding the strange, displaced feeling some foreign films convey. Of particular note is French 
fuck Sandrine, who obviously prefers Greek; Christophe Clark, another frog who's a handsome, virile 
stud; Linda Brown, a nice English girl whose cunt looks deliciously plump and comfy; and Christy Donn, 
0 trashy blonde with o hair-trigger twat. Nothing too spectacular sexually, but definitely whackable 
Lusting. —D.H. 


THE MADDAMS 
FAMILY 


One-Quarter Erect. Directed by Herschel Savage; staring Ona Zee, Charisma, Kim Angeli, Deidre 
Holland, Mike Horner, Jon Dough and Ron Jeremy. Videocassette: X-Citement. 


While The Maddams Family remains true to the original characters, the fuck scenes are as comatose as 
Jon Dough’s caricature of Lurch. Ona Zee and Mike Horner are Horticia and Cortez, whose failing 
investments force them to open a bordello. Hooker-in-training Charisma, as the aptly titled Cousin Tit, 
slaps her enormous mams against Kim Angeli’s paunch in an uncomfortable lesbo tryst overshadowed 
by the girls’ combined girth. Ron Jeremy’s Uncle Pester smacks his infamous flob against Charisma’s 
rippling thighs. A sweaty Horner sums up the proceedings best after spewing on Angeli’s foir-skin flab: 
“It feels o lot better than it looks.” —LF 


nx SCREWBALLS 


One-Quarter Erect. Directed by Stuart Conterbury; starring Taylor Wane, Steve Drake, Alexandria 
Quinn, Jerry Butler, Ron Jeremy, Domonique Simone, Ashley Nicole and Biff Malibu. Videocassette: AFV 
Releasing. 


Taylor Wane deserves some kind of award. Not for her lethargic performance in this feeble comedy, but 
for echoing the viewer's sentiments with her mumbled aside to Jerry Butler, “Boy, you've really put 
some weight on.” Why doesn’t Butler do the industry a favor and retire his limp dick and endless 
patter? Between a couple of uninspired fucks, only Biff Malibu and black beauty Domonique’s kitchen- 
floor romp seems like the real thing. In addition, the reliable Steve Drake gives an over-18 and 
enticingly overweight Alexandria Quinn o mouthful of chum in exchange for a messy, slobbering 
blowjob. —LF 


—D.H. There’s a sweet spot in the middle of Blue. 
AUGUST HUSTLER 


HEAD EM UP, MOVE EM QUT 


A PORN CATTLE-CALL MEMOIR 


ilmmoker Alfred Hitchcock once said, “All actors are cattle.” In the porn world, all actors 
are genitalia —more or less. And when it comes to shopping for genitalia, more porn 
producers turn to World Modeling than ony other “talent” agency. Located on the second 
floor of a skeezy office building about 30 miles north of downtown Los Angeles, World’s 
engine is on avunculor Southern gentleman named Jim South. Through his portals have 
passed such luminaries as Traci Lords, Ginger Lynn, Tori Welles—a virtual who's who of 
Guttertown ginches. But before they become stars, they must first bare all for the sundry SX-70 
snapshots taken by producers (and interested bystanders) looking for tomorrow's new superslut. 


Here’s a sampling of such impromptu pix 
from a recent World Modeling cattle call: 


Prisoners puts your joint in solitary confinement. 


Py PRISONERS 
OF LUST 


One-Quarter Erect. Directed by Edwardo Dinero; starring 
Sabrina Dawn, Laurie Landry, K. C. Williams, Devon Shire, Marilyn 
Rose, Lauren Brice ond Sunny McKay. Videocassette: VCA. 


Women behind bars should be a cause for carnal celebration, as 
all the pent-up possions of no cock should explode in a torrent of 
twat-trysting. The quartet of quim doing time in this pallid 
poonfest are jaded jailbirds. They’ve all wound up in the can 
because of sex crimes of lesbian lust, but it’s the viewer who'll 
be calling for the chair after being sentenced to some snore-filled 


‘ g 
! ‘ 


slt-slobberings. — Sam Lowry Bianca Trump Michelle Monroe Alexis DeVell 


2 Cal virry SLICKERS 


Half Erect. Directed by Scotty Fox; starring Tonisha Mills, Angela Summers, 
Terry Diver, Jamie leigh, Randy West, Tom Chapman and T. T. Boy. Videocassette 
Legend Video. 


Blond covergirl Tonisha Mills is the headliner with the marvelous headlamps, but 
she doesn't show up until the tape is half over. She tries to make amends in the 
final fuck by getting the best of T. T. Boy while disguised as a masked cowgirl, but 
his cum-shot on her butt deflates an otherwise bone-busting scene. If Angela 
Summers isn’t the best cocksucker in the business, she certainly makes a cose for 
the distinction, with some eye-popping, oh-my-fucking-god! mouth artistry on Boy's 
wanger. Terry Diver's happy (and loud) acceptance of a Tom Chapman facial is the 

ai highlight, but an overemphasis on plot and some weak stabs at comedy, with not 
Titty Slickers: Diver sucks cock until the cows come. much titty-fucking to boot, will keep six-shooters holstered. © —Augie Michaels 


PUTTING HER ASS ON 
THE LINE 


Half Erect. Directed by Jerry Ross; starring Brandy Alexandre, Steve Drake, Kym Wilde, Candace Heart, 
K. C. Williams, Randy West, Angela Summers, Joey Silvera and Trixy Tyler. Videocassette: Dreamland. 

Porn’s eternal solution to marital boredom is to fuck as many other people as possible to reawaken the true 
worth of the marriage. Steve Drake and Brandy Alexandre are the listless couple. Drake seems to make the 
most out of their wanderings in his fevered flogging of Kym Wilde’s fudge factory. Alexandre’s anal offering, 
a rump-+eam without a penetration, fares less successfully. When Drake and Alexandre finally reunite, their 
cornhole-coupling is good enough to jump-start any stalled marriage, with a facial to seal the deal. —S. L. 


THE DIRTY LITTLE 
MIND OF MARTIN 
FINK 


One-Quarter Erect. Directed by Scotty Fox; starring Tracey Winn, Jonathan Morgan, Jenna Wells, Randy 
West, Alyssa Jarreau, Mickey Ray, Sonja, J. B., Cyle Mitchell and X-Man. Videocassette: Moonlight Entertainment. 
Barely a step above raunch reviewers on the literary food chain are the sex-cinema scribes themselves. The 
Dirty Little Mind of Martin Fink chronicles the coital conquests of failed playwright Jonathan Morgan as he 
tries to write in the cum-crusted world of video smut for cynical producer J. B. This may be Morgan’s first 
assignment, but he’s no novice at noshing on the nookie of Alyssa Jarreau, who seems to like her new career 
as a porn bimbo. With only a few feeble dribbles of cum on justfucked bush and a lousy denouement, Fink 
never should have left the storyboards, —K.L. 


STROKER’S GUIDE 


A QUICK CHECKLIST OF X-RATED FEATURES REVIEWED IN PAST ISSUES OF 
HUSTLER Anp HUSTLER EROTIC VIDEO GUIDE. 


Alexandre doesn’t clearly put her Ass on the line. 


t FULLY ERECT - 
Superior. A top production, 


Wild Goose Chase 
(Evil Angel) 
Julianne James, Angela Summers, 
Jeanna Fine 


THREE-QUARTERS ERECT 


Above average. Hard-on material, 


Safecracker (Coast to Coast) 
Jeanna Fine, Britt Morgan, 
Angela Summers 


Manbait (VCA) 
Moana Pozzi, P. J. Sparxx, 
Leanna Foxxx 


Dream Creamin’ 
(AFV Releasing) 
Cameo, April Rayne, Sunny McKay 


HALF ERECT 
Stondord fore. Hos moments. 
A Lacy Affair 4 
(Hollywood Video) 
Trinity Loren, Tora Hart, Alexis Stone 


Blonde Forces 
(Coast to Coast) 
Candace Heart, Savannah, Valhalla 


Bush Pilots 2 (VCA) 
Ashlyn Gere, Rayne, Sharon Kane 


Twilight (Zane) 
Melanie Moore, Holly Ryder, Mona Lisa 


Bikini City (Coast to Coast) 
Tonisha Mills, Terry Diver, Charisma 


Lust for Love (VCA) 
Angela Summers, Alicyn Sterling, 
Devon Shire 


You Bet Your Ass 
(Bruce Seven) 
Bionca, Porsche Lynn, Heather Hart 


Genie in a Bikini (Zane) 
Madison, Monique Hall, Britt Morgan 


Anal Fever (Zane) 


ONE-QUARTER ERECT 


Poor. Don’t expect much. 


Melanie Moore, Holly Ryder, Flame 


Anal Leap (Coast to Coast) 
Alicyn Sterling, Nasty Natasha, Anisa 


Cheesecake (VCA) 
Trinity Loren, Nikki Wilde, Taylor Wane 


Sex Nurses (Visual Images) 
Kelly Blue, Terry Diver, Debi Diamond 


‘D-Cup Dating Service 
(Moonlight) 


Vivianna, Trocey Adams, Paula Price 


Two Hearts (Vivid) 
Racquel Darrian, Kym Wilde, Ona Zee 


Vow of Passion (Vivid) 


Savannah, P. J. Sparxx 


Ly TOTALLY LIMP 
A waste of time ond money. 


Brainteasers (Zane) 
K. C. Williams, Terry Diver, 
Monique Hall 


AUGUST HUSTLER 


Canadian Residents: Ultra Corp., 4944 Decarie Bivd., CP305 Montreal, Que. H3X 3T6. 


BURNING 


ALL FOUR 


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Sirs. | have enclosed my check, M.O, Visa. M.C. information. Please rush 
me the 4 videos under a 30-DAY MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE 


(CT res. add sales tax.) 


CANADIAN RESIDENTS: Available trom Ultra Corp. 4944 Decarie Blvd. 
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of an equal or greater value. Money-back guarantee if not satisfied! 
NOTICE: | declare that | am an adult, 21 years of age or over (19 years of 
age or over for Canadian residents). | am purchasing these for my private 
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Feedback 


(continued from page 15) 


breasts. They are as perfect as one can 
imagine. You know, Michelle, I have all 
my life been a small-breast, as well as 
armpit, adorer. Do you want to hear how 
I describe your breasts? Listen! Here is 
how I analyze them. Small, very firm 
and perky. Your cup form is A. Your 
breasts are a little bit concave under- 
neath your nipples, and a little bit con- 
vex above them. 

I am with you, Michelle. I am thinking 
about your wonderful cunt. Please, let me 
suck your wonderful cunt, and at the same 
moment allow me to adore the smell of 
your sweet-smelling armpits. —A. G. 

Rauma, Finland 


THE USUAL RAVES 
I’ve gotten horny from the slits and tits of 
the women in HUSTLER for years. I just 
wanted to say job well done. I’ve never 
been disappointed looking at HUSTLER. 
—L.C. 
Falmouth, Maine 


I’m writing to say that my wife and I love 
HUSTLER. In your May 1992 issue, I loved 
the pictures of Darlene and Pete (Darlene 
and Pete: Whore Ashore, May °92). My 
wife fingered her pussy while looking at the 
pages of Paula and Jo (Paula and Jo: 
MaxiMa’am Overdrive, May °92). Yes, 
she’s bi, and she’s proud of it. 

Keep up the great work! How about 
showing more gals wearing spiked, high- 
heel pumps? We love your girl/ girl action! 

—B.N. 
Windsor Locks, Connecticut 


I’ve been buying HUSTLER on and off for 
about three years now, and this week | 
decided to send in my subscription. I’ve 
seen all kinds of magazines during the 
years, but HUSTLER always beats them 
by far. HUSTLER is sexier and more fun to 
read than any other. The Ricki and Justine 
pictorial was breathtaking (Ricki and 
Justine: Furnish a Fetish, April °92). ’'m 
looking forward to receiving HUSTLER in 
my mailbox every month. —V. T. 

Tierp, Sweden 


TRY WASHING! 

I’m a real HUSTLER fan. I really enjoy 
reading the Feedback letters. I’ve been 
married four years, and when my wife 
and I have mutual oral sex, I always 
bring her off first, because she says it 
hurts her mouth to do it longer than a 
minute. I think it’s really selfish of her 


HUSTLER AUGUST 


not to give me pleasure as well. What do 
you think? —J.A. 
Cleveland, Ohio 


CAN’T TAKE A JOKE 

Many readers are under the impression 
that what is written in HUSTLER is true 
simply because it appears in print. 

While HUSTLER has the best photog- 
raphy in men’s magazines, the humor 
remains scatological and racist. It is defi- 
nitely time to embrace a new standard in 
HUSTLER—a standard that has higher 
regard for your readership. 


C’mon, HUSTLER. I dare you to em- 
brace good fellowship as your journalistic 
goal. S. A. 

Guelph, Ontario 


Fuck off! 


Do you have a comment, suggestion or 
complaint? We want to hear it. Send your 
letters (typed or neatly handwritten) to 
Feedback, HUSTLER, 9171 Wilshire 
Boulevard, Suite 300, Beverly Hills, CA 
90210. Include a phone number if you want 


your letter considered for publication. & 


YOU: be a THE, ‘YOUICE 7 


| FORGET THE NUMBER 


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DREAMS vs. NIGHTMARE‘ 


THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 


doorbell rings, and | answer it, thinking 


it’s going to be my boyfriend. Instead, 


BY ANNE BIANCHI 
] h e three big guys ram through the door and 


wrestle me to the floor. Two of them hold me down. One 
takes out a switchblade and very neatly cuts the clothes 
off my body until I'm lying there totally naked. He spreads 
my legs and plays with my clit. The other two lower their 
lips and suck on my breasts. When | scream at them to 
stop, they tell me they work for Chad, my high-school 
sweetheart—a guy who ditched me because | refused to 
have sex with him. Chad, they say, has spent the past 
few years dreaming about me, but finally decided he 
would only fuck me if | begged him. “Fat chance,” | reply. 
“Get the fuck off of me and out of my house!“ 

“Just you wait,” answers the one working my clit be- 
tween his thumb and forefinger. 

They work me over, sucking and rubbing till my juices 
start flowing. | can’t help wetting myself. “That's right. 
Just let yourself go and enjoy it. That's what we're here 
for,” says the one with the trigger finger. With his other 
hand, he pulls a phone 

out of his #! 


Fear and hypocrisy have repressed 
sexual awareness, leading to the 
ignorance that spreads disease and 
creates violence, in addition to hin- 
dering our natural enjoyment of 
sex This series opens the door to 
current sexual knowledge and ex 


pression 
making 


and improved love- 


ILLUSTRATION BY 
LENNY MACE 


HUSTLER AUGUST 


pocket. “Chad?” he says. “Head on over, boy. It won't be 
long now.” 

! can no longer pretend. The finger’s working. “Stop!” | 
cry. “Get your filthy hands off me!" At that moment, Chad 
walks through the door. 

“There's only one way to get them to stop,” he says, 
looking me full in the face. “Say you want it—now.” 

“No!” | scream, making one last effort to squirm 
away. It's no use. Although tears are falling down my 
face, I'm creaming. 

“Fuck me, Chad,” | whimper, groveling for relief. “Fuck 
me now!” 

Rita, a 31-year-old accounting analyst from Phoenix, 
Arizona, speaks freely of her sexual urges and describes 
her erotic taste in men in graphic detail, but one aspect of 
her world of sensual delights she considers so taboo, her 
voice barely rises above a whisper: She enjoys rape fan- 
tasies. Even when told nearly every woman has them, Rita 
can't entirely brush away a feeling of wrongdoing. 

For anyone—men or women—the erotic selling point 
of rape fantasy is freedom. For women, it provides the 
added titillation of disposing with a wives’ tale with which 
little girls are routinely indoctrinated, despite the ad- 
vances of so-called women’s lib: Women aren't supposed 
to enjoy sex. 

Rita and millions of women go to bed at night 
and conjure up rape fantasies that let them be 
free, uninhibited, orgasmic and—because it’s 
their fantasy, and they can twist it any way 
they like— in control. But never do their fan- 
| tasies obscure the dread and loathing of the 
reality of rape. 

Therein lies the difference between rape 
fantasies and rape: contro/. One is about enjoy- 
ing a forced sexual experience, because a 
woman knows she’s got her finger on the but- 
ton. The other is about /oss of control—and 
its ensuing humiliation, hatred and pain. 

Despite the continuing debate over whether 

rape is an act of violence or an act of sex, many 

experts now see it as both—but with a crucial 
difference in emphasis. “We now see rape,” 
says Nicholas Groth, director of Forensic Mental 
Health Associates and the author of Men Who 

Rape, “as the aggressive expression of sexuality 
rather than the sexual expression of aggression.” 

“What's wrong with a sex offender is what's 
wrong between his ears, not his legs,” adds 
Richard Seeley, former director of Minnesota's In- 
tensive Treatment Program for Sexual Aggressiveness. 
“It's his thinking that's dysfunctional, not his sexuality.” 


27 


Groth divides rapists into three broadly de- 
fined motivational types: anger rapists, power 
rapists and sadistic rapists. With anger assaults, 
according to Groth, the rapist 
feels he is getting even for 
some sort of wrong he's decid- 
ed has been done to him, which 
he imagines has been perpe- 
trated by anything from life in 
general to a particular event or 
specific person, who then usu- 
ally becomes his victim. The 
expression of his rage is chan- 

neled into sexual assault. 
FY 7A “Anger rape is usually pre- 
meditated,” says Groth. “The vic- 
tim is many times punched, choked and kicked into 
submission.” In the end, such rapists receive little 
pleasure from the act, their prime motivation having 
been to degrade the victim in any way possible. 

Power rape is a form of compensation most 
often committed by men who are unsure of 
themselves, who consider themselves incompe- 
tent. Rape gives them an artificial sense of con- 
trol. By overpowering their victims and forcing 
them to do something against their will, power 
rapists see themselves as having mastery over 
at least these isolated acts of aggression. Their 
victims are usually sought in advance and often 
have a special air of weakness or defenseless- 
ness about them. Most power rapes happen in 


the course of other crimes. A robber, for exam- 
ple, may come upon a small, frail woman cring- 
ing in the bathroom and power-rape her. 

Groth categorizes sadistic rape as eroticized 
aggression. Here, forcible sex is more exciting 
than consensual sex, of which, in many cases, 
such rapists are incapable because of problems 
of impotency in so-called normal settings. “If 
the anger components of aggression are eroti- 
cized,” says Groth, “then you see sadistic acts, 
such as deliberate sexual torture, [for instance] 
using an instrument to rape the victim.” Sadistic 
rapists, he says, oftentimes travel in packs, bait- 
ing one another into monstrous acts none of 
them would commit if they were alone. 

One common element seems to define all 
rapists: the feeling that, in some way, their vic- 
tims wanted or deserved to be raped. Doctor 
Gene Abel, a professor of psychiatry at Emory 
University in Atlanta, Georgia, who has studied 
rape motivation for the past 20 years, describes 
patients who claim to have never raped a wom- 
an despite an arrest record showing repeated 
rape charges. When he asked one rapist how he 
would know whether a woman wanted to have 
sex with him, the man replied that she would 
obviously be willing if she spoke to him or invit- 
ed him to her apartment. 

This aspect of rape, the feeling that women 
who extend themselves are asking for it, is the 
most pernicious, many times finding a voice in 


“T told you, babe—if I took it slow and easy, a butt-fuck wouldn’ t hurt.” 


28 


courts of law as well as on the street. Judge 
Archie Simonson of Madison, Wisconsin, deliv- 
ered the most notorious ruling in this regard in 
1978, acquitting two teenage boys who raped a 
16-year-old girl and dismissing charges against 
a third. Simonson then proceeded to justify his 
decision by saying, “This community is well 
known to be sexually permissive. Should we 
punish a 15- or 16-year-old boy who reacts to it 
normally?” Later, in an interview, he added, 
“Women’s activist groups concerned about rape 
should follow the old saying that an ounce of 
prevention is worth a pound of cure. I’m trying to 
say to women: Stop teasing. Whether women 
like it or not, they are sex objects.” 

Whatever the abstract merits of Judge Simon- 
son’s remarks, the Chicago Tribune reported that 
this particular rape victim was wearing blue- 
jeans, tennis shoes and a turtleneck sweater with 
a blouse over it—hardly provocative clothing. 

Jonathan Kaplan, the award-winning director 
of The Accused, a 1989 film starring Jodie Foster 
as a foul-mouthed waitress who winds up being 
raped by three men on a pinball machine, puts a 
political spin to the way headline rape cases 
such as William Kennedy Smith's and Mike 
Tyson's are characterized by the media. “Ever 
since the Reagan years,” he says, “there's been 
a blame-the-victim mentality [in this country]. 
We blamed the poor for poverty. We blamed the 
homeless for being on the street.” Rape, he as- 
serts, is simply another instance in which victims 
are blamed instead of perpetrators. 

To many women, the enemy has become men 
in general. “When | have occasion to be out late 
at night, I'm always aware of one thing,” states 
Sheri, a retail clerk from Long Beach, California. 
“If the person on the other side of the street is a 
woman, | breathe easy. If it's a man, | instinc- 
tively go on alert.” 

Still, Sheri admits, when a dateless Saturday 
night ends with a bubblebath and a vibrator, her 
favorite fantasy involves two burly musclemen 
dragging her out of the tub, tying her wrists and 
ankles to the bedposts and forcing themselves 
between her legs. 

“Some men have this idea that, because 
women dress in miniskirts and Lycra tops, they 
want it,” says Robin Scher, a licensed therapist 
from San Francisco. “Two things are important: 
one, to understand that women have the right to 
say no at any time, and two, that most men un- 
derstand the difference between a no that really 
means the woman is open to changing her mind 
and a no screamed repeatedly during an all-out 
battle. To suggest otherwise is to discredit the 
overwhelming majority of men who can differen- 
tiate between the various guises of romantic 
flirtation with the same skill they routinely dif- 
ferentiate between hundreds of other confusing 
situations that, no matter how they wind up, 
never, ever lead to mounting an assault.” & 


AUGUST HUSTLER 


~ 
— 
~ 


Her name was Milk 
Maid, and we went 
for drinks at 
neighborhood bar. = 
She knew just how to 
listen, and together =~ gs 
we reinvented the art \ 


- oe ; : 
of conversation. =a 


We stopped for gas 
at one of those 
foreign-owned ; 
gas stations. 
Unfortunately, the 
attendant spoiled 
our first intimate 
moment together. 


We walked the streets of Hollywood... 


...and came upon 

a specialty clothing store. Milk 
Maid suggested that | pick out 
some racy garments for her 
to model. 


...then spent 
a wondrous 
evening on the 
town until, 
at last, we 
returned home. jue. : 


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It’s true what they say: 
You never forget your 
first half gallon. 


That weekend 
we drove to Las Vegas and 
were pronounced man and Milk Maid. 


As with any mixed 
marriage, the public's 
condemnation sometimes 
has its strain. Milk Maid 
and | enjoyed our Tuesday 
night encounter groups and 
realized we were not alone. 


Eventually Milk Maid and Heck, we even made a few friends. 
~ = Iovercame adversity. 
i ae 


| sent a letter to 
my insurance company 

and received this 
alarming reply: 


Roe F 
45 ¢.,, Stra 
_ ( "Nty,. Nee 
a Cr VE € 
ae — ay Eas : Rags In 
—s A ‘ 905 
eS , ry Pt, 2] 
“a , : : 188, C4 oa . 
@ ~ ORS 
Then, tragedy struck. | returned home one day and found my lovely Ro Mor 
2 aa ¢ Ck 
Milk Maid in the jaws of my dog, Mugger. Sven Stra, 
Oven sae de °° 


| was in good hands! My 
insurance agent nursed Milk 
Maid back to health and even 
provided us armed-security 
escort back outside. Milk Maid 
and | pieced our relationship 
back together, proving that 
love and duct tape conquer all. 


q FF E MILK MAID DOLL © PROVIDED 


My insurance company owed me more than a form-letter blow-off! a N D COURTESY OF Z. R. PRODUCTS 
| knew if they met Milk Maid in person, they’d understand. 1-800-851-5561 


LOX, STALKS AND BEEF TONGUE 


The Purim holiday was always the biggest 
time of the year at my deli. Jews from 
every nook of the neighborhood would 
waddle in to buy briskets, birds and kugel. 
By the end of the day, my register was 
loaded and, when my wife would finally 
go upstairs to our apartment above the 
shop, I'd stay late to count the register and 
enjoy a good cigar. God knows, after 33 
years of marriage there was no reason to 
hurry home. 

Anyway, this year’s Purim was one I'll 
never forget. I was putting away the 
salmon late one night after my wife had 
gone upstairs, when a black-haired beauty 
with deep-set, hazel eyes pushed through 
the front door. She wore a black, strapless 
dress and long, black gloves that would’ve 
appeared festive were it not for the black 
veil that obscured her face. Now, I’m 57 
and well past my prime but, believe me, 
the porcelain fragility of her shoulders, 
punctuated by a small, dark mole between 
her petite breasts, made something of an 
exclamation point under my smock. 

She asked for a pound of paté and, as I 
stood on a stool to bring down the heavy 
vat, I noticed that she had moved behind 
the counter and was holding me around 
my waist. “I don’t want you to fall,” was 
her explanation. Man, oh, man, was she 
smooth. I was old enough to be her father 
and began feeling a little frisky. 

“Thank you, miss, that’s very kind,” I 
said, doing well to hide my chutzpah. 

“You're very virile for a man your age,” 
I think was what she said, and as I stepped 
down from the stool, her gloved hand slid 
underneath my smock and toward my 
crotch. “Why don’t you close shop a little 
early?” she blew into my ear. 


HUSTLER AUGUST 


All logic was lost as the joys of youth 
were at once rekindled within me. Perspi- 
ration broke on my forehead as I locked 
the door and escorted her to the back. | 
attempted to cover the awkward silence 
with conversation, but she remained silent 
about her name and occupation and in- 
stead slid the tip of her tongue along the 
little hairs of my outer ear. 

Once in the back, she took control. My 
smock was torn away and my trousers 
loosened to fall to the ground. She scraped 
her teeth ever so carefully against the head 
of my cock before she swallowed it down 
to my balls. Her eyes were catlike, never 
straying from my face, even as she turned 
around to unzip her dress. 

She sat on the meat counter next to the 
large bonesaws. She talked of “putting on 
a show” and grabbed a thick roll of kishke. 
She slid her sheer pantyhose down below 
her vagina and spread her long, white legs 
wide. “Let me see you play with yourself, 
baby,” she purred as she stuck one end of 
the meat in her black, bushy lunch box. 
Her pussy must have been spread a good 
six inches apart. After each inward thrust, 
she’d pull the meat out of her snatch, take 
a healthy bite and hungrily chew before 
sticking the roll back in. 

I felt like I was dreaming. This was 
unlike any Times Square peep show I'd 
ever seen, and she could see the effect it 
was having on me. “Don’t come just yet, 
darling,” she said quietly. “Let me go on.” 

She went to the front and returned with 
a container of green olives and the large 
cow’s tongue that had been delivered that 
morning. She sucked the pimentos from 
the inner olive and stuck a little green ball 
into her anus. With her legs raised over 
her head, the opening of the vegetable 
peeked out from the darkness of her ass- 
hole. She moaned a bit, like she was real- 
ly getting off, and rubbed the cow’s 
tongue against the brown folds of her 
pussy. When she stuck the severed end of 
the tongue into her pussy and scraped the 
former animal’s taste buds against her cli- 
toris, I’d seen all that I could stand. 


of what we'd shared. As a result, the cops 


I walked toward her, never wanting to 
schtup a woman so much in my life. The 
green olive squirmed out of her flexing 
asshole and popped to the floor. I couldn't 
hold back any longer. As I ejaculated with 
sperm I thought I no longer had, she chant- 
ed, “It feels so good,” a couple times 
before I felt that heavy cow’s tongue crash 
across my face as if the angry animal had 
come to claim it back. 

When I awoke, the beef tongue had 
been forced down my throat, and my 
hands were tied with my favorite black 
belt. My wife stood over me as I regained 
consciousness, hoping to God that it had 
all been a dream. No such luck. With my 
pants below my waist and the register 
emptied of what must've been nearly 
$5,000, I had no choice but to lie and say I 
was beaten by a group of men. I could 
never tell her the true perpetrator because 


es 


would never find the money. Of course the 
guilt sometimes overwhelms me, but at 
least | have an interesting memory to 


—Name Withheld 
Crown Heights, New York 


share. 


HOMELESS IMPROVEMENT 


I gave up on finding a real job some time 
ago. Instead, I stand on freeway off-ramps 
and beg like any good American does. 
Sure it’s a pathetic way to make a living, 
but you wouldn’t believe the amount of 
money I get from the rich, liberal do-good- 
ers who rid themselves of guilt and self- 
loathing by feeding me wads of tax-free 
cash. Then again, I do occasionally meet 
some dumbfuck who actually thinks that 


35 


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my WILL WORK FOR FOOD sign is meant to 
be taken literally. Shit, you meet all kinds. 

A couple weeks ago I was working the 
driveway of a trendy gourmet-food store in 


a wealthy suburb of L.A. I never shower 


the night before I “work,” to let that grimy 
look set in. I sat forlornly with my dog, 
Joe, and throughout the morning received 
wads of cash from people inside BMWs 
and Jaguars. I had already earned close to 
80 bucks when a woman in a white Rabbit 
rolled down her tinted window. 

“T have a little painting you could help 
me with back home, if you're interested,” 
she said, scratching her neck with long, 
red nails. 

“Painting?” I replied incredulously. 

“Say a hundred bucks and a six- pack,” 
she said. A little bell went off in my head. 
I really couldn’t afford to leave my spot, 
but this rich little bitch had aroused my 
attention. 

She asked me to wear a blindfold on 
the drive to her place, for her own protec- 
tion. What the fuck, | thought, and com- 
plied. The only other thing she asked was 
if I'd bathed recently. Figuring my 
pathetic ploy was working, I told her that 
I hadn’t had access to water for the past 
week. All she said was, “Perfect.” It 
sounded pretty strange. 

Anyway, I commented about her beau- 
tiful house as my eyes adjusted to the 
brightness of the Hollywood flatlands that 
rested below. We walked to a room and 
stepped onto a giant drop cloth. * 
your clothes and put these on,” she said, 
tossing me a pair of blotchy overalls. 

She left the room and returned stark 
naked, holding a long-bristled brush. I 
wasn’t really surprised; I'd heard about these 
rich babes who fantasize about the under- 
class. She bent over and picked up a painting 
palette. Her pert ass mound flattened and 
faded into the tops of her muscular thighs. 
Her tiny, pink asshole opened and closed as 
if it were alive and breathing. 

“All right,” she said matter-of-factly, 
“paint me.” 

“Excuse me?” I squinted. 

“I want you to paint my body 
repeated. 

She lay on the tarp with her arms and 
legs tucked tightly against her bod. I dipped 
the brush into a gob of red paint and slowly 
turned her white skin ruby. The brush acted 
like an extension of my cock. With each 
long stroke, more blood surged through the 
stem of my rod. She began to look like 
Michelangelo’s murder victim. 

She spread her thighs as the brush flitted 
between her legs. She reached down and 
pulled her lips apart, fondling a large cli- 


.” she 


HUSTLER AUGUST 


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toris that jutted between her index and 
middle fingers. Traces of the deep-red 
paint coated her outer labia, and I contin- 
ued the smooth strokes all the way down 
her meaty thigh to the knee. I pushed her 
legs back over her head and painted 
between her ass cheeks until droplets 
dripped from the crevices of her anus onto 
the white cloth below. 

She said she loved the toxic smell of the 
paint and asked me to sit over her face. | 
obliged by removing the overalls, but 
paused as I began to squat. In my line of 
work, it was a necessity to reek, but as the 
day-old cock and anus fumes wafted to my 
nostrils, | now wished I were clean. But 
she was persistent and pulled my ass to her 


nose. “I want to inhale you,” she moaned 
and, like a dog in heat, stuck her nose 


between my ass cheeks while her tongue 
lapped against my balls. She took long, 
deep inhalations, practically chewing the 
pungent odor of dried shit. 

Enough was enough. I returned to my 
original position, only this time I tossed the 
brush aside and slowly set my dick inside 
of her and, inch by inch, probed deeper. 
Tiny waves of red paint spilled out of her 
pussy and splashed against my balls. The 
rough walls of her inner sanctum told me 
that she probably just finished a period. But 
when I looked closer at what I thought was 
paint, I realized she was actually emitting 
dark, purplish blood. I pumped harder, 


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power-fucking this goddess in heat. My 
arms were fully extended from the ground 
as sweat from my chin splashed against her 
goose-bumped nipples. 

We maintained the furious pace for what 
must’ve been two or three minutes. Be- 
tween my b.o., her menstrual flow and the 
wet paint, I felt woozy and hoped I 
wouldn’t spew chunks before I could shoot 
my load. My lower back started to ache, as 
it always did prior to orgasm; so I pulled out 
and coated her red belly with white cum 
that curdled and settled in her deep naval. 

As my grand slam breakfast moved 
swiftly from my stomach to my throat, she 
wiped a hand through the belly puddle and 
scraped some jizz into her long fingernail. 
With one hand still massaging her clit, she 
stuck the finger up her nose and kept 
breathing in weird rhythmic patterns. This 
babe was a pig. 

Her heavy breasts heaved in and out for 
several seconds until, like a runner cooling 
down after a race, her breathing finally 
slowed and stabilized. I sat still for a second, 
arching my sore back and swallowing back 
my wandering stomach acids. She offered 
me a cigarette, and we smoked in silence. 

She slipped into a white terry-cloth robe 
and offered me $100, which I refused for 
some reason. A shot of bourbon I did take. 
Then we dressed and she drove me— 
blindfolded again—back to the parking 
lot. She let me off without a word and 
quickly sped away. I untied my dog Joe 
from the tree where I'd left him and sat 
again in the store’s driveway. After a few 
minutes I walked home. I’d received 
enough hand-outs for that day. —S. S. 

Sherman Oaks, California. 


WIFE IMITATES ART 


I love to rent porn movies because, like 
most guys, they let me see what I assume 
my wife would never do. But a couple 
nights ago my “wholesome” Catholic wife 
of 16 years proved me wrong. 

Tuesdays are my wife’s night out with 
her sister, and I had rented a movie starring 
Angela Summers, whose work and enthusi- 
asm I’d always enjoyed. Anyway, the 
movie was about half over and I had my 
dick in my hand ready to shoot into a bath 
towel when I heard the key turn in my front 
door. I scattered to put my dick away and 
turn off the flick in the same motion, but my 
wife had already entered. Boy, was my face 
red until she sauntered over to me and began 


HUSTLER AUGUST 


rubbing the obvious bulge in my jeans. 

“So what have you been up to, my 
dear?” she asked licking the cherry red lips 
that I seemed to notice for the first time. In 
her thigh-cut jean skirt and white cowboy 
boots, she looked hotter than I’d ever seen. 
Then she saw the porn box and whispered 
in my ear, “Let me be your movie slut.” I 
just about creamed my jeans. 

She unflinchingly dropped to her 
knees and took my cock in her mouth. 
Although she'd been reluctant to do so in 
the past, she sucked like a demon, cir- 
cling her tongue under the lip of my shaft 
that had been aching to explode two min- 
utes ago. 

Reaching underneath her legs, she 
unzipped her skirt at the crotch and asked 
me to turn the movie back on. I took a swig 
of beer and, damn the torpedoes, brought 
Angela’s celluloid incarnation back to life. 
As Ms. Summers stuck a giant dildo in her 
snatch, my wife took the nearly empty 
beer bottle and did the same. Suds dribbled 
out the side of her tiny ice box. Then, 
Angela turned backward to the camera on 
all fours and shoved a pre-moistened fin- 
ger in her asshole. My wife did the same, 


iw { 


“It's the smallest abortion pill the Supreme Court will allow.” 


making the video experience more than 
three-dimensional. 

“Fuck me from behind baby,” the 
video vixen moaned and my wife echoed 
the sentiments. Mere inches away from 
the boob tube, I fucked my good wife 
doggy style, practically knocking her 
over with each forceful inward thrust. 
Continuing to duplicate the actions on the 
screen, my wife reached below her snatch 
and tugged on my ball sack, while wiping 
a long fingernail against my hairy sphinc- 
ter. The tip of my cock slammed against 
my wife’s uterus. Angela begged for 
“Come on my face,” and my wife dupli- 
cated the dialogue. 

She laid on her back with her face just 
below the TV screen. My pent-up 
semen exploded onto the close-up of 
Angela’s video face, while the flying 
cum splashed the lightly-freckled fore- 
head of my wife. 

After the last few drops had dribbled 
onto her lower lip, there was a moment of 
uncomfortable silence, until my wife 
asked if we could watch that scene again. 
Now we spend a great many evenings 
entering new areas of sexuality that, I’m 
happy to report, were advanced thanks to 
an adult video. —T. M. 

Bellevue, Washington. 


Send your sexperiences to HUSTLER Hot 


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P p70 os 7 SEX HAL ORSESTAWE 


REPORT BY SCOTT SCHALIN 


For pyromaniacs, playing with fire ignites flames of lust. 
How can they put it out? 


ILLUSTRATION BY GARY BERNARD 


- , sy 
—_ - Saone _ = 
arene Te ee 


pent-up frustration onto the face of the nea 


A man sits alone in a shabby downtown 
apartment. The walls are bare. A fifth of 
whiskey and a pack of smokes provide his 
only companionship. 

Frustrated and upset, he grabs his keys 
and splits. He drives through the city’s 
concrete landscape. Lighting another 
cigarette, he guns the engine and heads for 
the serenity of the nearby hills. 

He parks the car and carefully sur- 
veys the hillside’s seductive curves. 
Minutes pass before he kneels at the 
base of the hill and looks upward at the 
wealthy homes that majestically grace 
the upper lip of the slope. Slowly, me- 
thodically, he drags one final time 
on his glowing cigarette and drops the 
butt underneath a patch of kerosene- 
drenched bush. 

A moment passes before the crisp 
night air flutters the dry grass to life. In 
an instant the fire has begun, bobbing 
and weaving to the syncopated throbbing 
in his head. 

As the blaze quickly spreads up the 
torso of the hillside, he pulls out his dick 
and pumps it hard. His mind reels. The 
throbbing builds to crescendo as he 


Ce 


SS 


AN | 


MANET 


spews his pent-up frustration onto the 
face of the nearby flames. 

His eyes stare unblinking. The glint of 
the flash point irradiates a face trans- 
fixed by demonic fixations. In the dis- 
tance a siren can be heard. It takes a 
moment before the sound registers in his 
head. When it does, the shrill tone fur- 
ther excites the carnival atmosphere of a 
world he alone has created and now con- 
trols. He returns to his car and quickly 
leaves undetected. 

Sometime later, the man cruises back to 
the now-blustery inferno and parks a safe 
distance away. He walks inconspicuously 
toward the commotion. Choppers whip 
the sky above. Firemen scurry about be- 
low. The scent of musty flame retardants 
counteracts the acrid smell of soot and sul- 
fur. The arsonist blends in among terrified 
homeowners, many of whom soak roof- 
tops in a valiant but futile attempt to halt 
the destruction. 

The arsonist joins with others to fight 
his fire. He helps a man untangle a rubber 
hose, assists an elderly woman in filling 
buckets with water. Soon he leaves for the 
final time. At last his quest for control and 


“All right, the truth: I really don't love you, 1 never mailed you a check, 
and I deliberately came in your mouth.” 


50 


urge for release have been quenched. But 
then again, tomorrow is another day. 
* oe * 


In 1988, fire-by-arson accounted for 
$2.1 billion in damage and cost nearly 
1,000 people their lives in the U.S. alone. 

“Arson is definitely on the rise in this 
country,” says Dean Cathey, battalion 
chief of the L.A. City Fire Department. 
“It’s one of the major fire-service prob- 
lems we have to deal with. The problem is 
that the arsonist has the upper hand. He 
can pick the time and location and, in 
many cases, has to be caught in the act [to 
be prosecuted ].” 

Some people make a lucrative living as 
professional “torches,” hiring out their 
firesetting prowess to the highest bidder. 
Others create conflagration in a sponta- 
neous display of anger, like the three dis- 
gruntled kitchen employees of the Dupont 
Plaza Hotel in Puerto Rico who set fire to 
a portion of the structure on New Year’s 
Eve 1987 in a brutal act of mutiny against 
management. The flash-fire protest mush- 
roomed out of control and eventually 
killed 97 co-workers and guests. 

The more curious, and complex, fireset- 
ters are those who act out of a psychologi- 
cal need to vent frustration or to quell a 
sensual urge that cannot be satisfied 
through normal channels. 

Firesetting for psychological reasons 
appears most prevalent within a white, 
middle-class, male sociological group, ac- 
cording to studies by Drs. Wayne Wooden 
and Martha Lou Berkey, authors of Chil- 
dren and Arson: America’s Middle Class 
Nightmare (Plenum Press, 1984). Under- 
neath a juvenile firesetter’s appearance of 
healthy normalcy many times boils a need 
to burn away the frustration that builds in 
the pressure cooker of preadolescence. 

“Some younger kids can remember set- 
ting fires when they were very young and 
then abruptly stopping when they reached 
puberty and could masturbate instead,” 
Dr. Wooden explains. “The means of re- 
leasing whatever tension they had when 
they were young shifted from playing with 
fire to sexual fantasy and masturbation.” 

When firesetting continues into adoles- 
cence, it usually underscores a deeper, 
angst-ridden dilemma, what psychologists 
call the “severely disturbed” category of 
arsonists. The term pyromania was coined 
to label this group, since the firesetter has 
no practical nor material reason to reduce 
property to ashes other than to satisfy his 
own sensual needs. 

The character profile of the arsonist is 
broad, to say the least. “We found that 
there were at least 33 significantly differ- 
ent behavior clues that separated the fire- 
setter from the non-firesetter,” explains 
Dr. Wooden, who also works as a profes- 
sor of sociology at Cal Poly Pomona. 


AUGUST HUSTLER 


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Among the more common characteristics 
(which varied according to age group) 
were truancy, stealing and antisocial be- 
havior evident in an inability to maintain 
healthy peer relations. A more obscure 
component of the juvenile firesetter is an 
unbalanced sense of sexuality. A 1979 
report by Robert G. Vreeland, called 
“The Psychology of Firesetting,” con- 
cluded that arson “was most likely to 
occur when natural outlets of sexual 
impulses are thwarted.” In addition, the 
report concluded that “most firesetters 
were young and at a time when sexual 
awakenings were most vivid.” 

“There have been many instances where 
a person will set a fire, leave the scene, 
then return to witness it later,” explains Dr. 
Kenneth Fineman, a psychiatrist who 
treats arsonists in Huntington Beach, Cali- 
fornia. “He derives a vicarious, sensational 
thrill out of watching the destruction.” 

The arousal quality of fire itself borders 
on the passionate for most people, but 
clearly within limit. “It is a very small 
subgroup within the borderline personality 
who do receive a sexual thrill out of it,” 
admits Dr. Fineman. “When it does ap- 


{ 


stopping when they reached puberty and could masturt ate netead.” | 


pear, it tends to be somebody who, if it’s a 
male, is having difficulty in his sexual re- 
lationship with a girlfriend who actually 
gets turned-on by fire.” 

If the arsonist is female—a much rarer 
occurrence—then the specific association 
of sexual problems and firesetting proves 
even more closely linked. According to 
Dr. Wooden’s study at the San Bernardino 
California Youth Authority (CYA), fe- 
male firesetting behavior tends to occur in 
conjunction with sexual-related anxiety, 
whether it be sex abuse, pregnancy or 
menstruation. In fact, one 13-year-old girl 
set her fires exactly one month apart, pre- 
cisely at the time of her menstrual cycle. 

Dr. Wooden performed a study of what 
he called “sexual pyromaniacs,” where 
fires were set to study individual reactions 
toward sexual stimulation and orgasm. In 
these cases, arson enhanced an over- 
whelming sexual appetite that, without 
fire, would have remained unfulfilled. In 
others, acts of starting fires were used as a 
substitute for sexual acts altogether. “Some 
ritualistic firesetters would either mastur- 
bate before setting the fire, or during,” says 
Dr. Wooden. “Occasionally, fire investiga- 


SOW OD 


“OV Ralphy boy here’s a vagitarian—he only eats pussy.” 


52 


tors will actually discover sexual emission 
of some sort at the scene, which is used as 
evidence to prove that these were started 
by some erotic-oriented pyromaniac.” 

Arson investigators often scan the 
blaze-gazing crowd, hoping to detect sus- 
picious behavior. In one case, a man was 
questioned at a fire scene for nothing more 
than a wet stain near the crotch of his 
pants. Although it turned out to be water 
from a hose, one anonymous investigator 
related the story of an arsonist who had 
actually cut out the pockets of his trousers 
in order to masturbate unobstructedly into 
his slacks as the blaze raged nearby. 

“They [arsonists] watch fire as if they 
were watching pornography,” claims a 
counselor of juvenile firesetters at the CYA 
in San Bernardino. “They have an intense 
fascination and satisfaction with fire.” 

“It’s a power trip,” agrees Dr. Fineman. 
“<I flick my Bic, and I get everybody to 
come and watch what I’ve done. I got all 
these fire companies working, and I can sit 
here and [laugh], and nobody knows all 
the control I really have.” ~ 

A 17-year-old named “William” was 
one example provided by Dr. Wooden. 
William represents an exception, rather 
than the rule, of the arsonist profile. Wil- 
liam was born the youngest of two boys. 
He grew up tall and physically awkward. 
His parents were extremely strict and de- 
manding. At the same time he was a chron- 
ic masturbator who had jacked off at least 
ten times a day over the span of two years. 

When family pressure became too 
much for him to handle, he would get on 
his bike and ride, but would often stop and 
masturbate to relieve the tension. Some- 
times he would even light a small fire 
during these instances, and a destructive 
pattern soon developed. Dr. Wooden 
called it a “stimulus-response” that linked 
masturbation with lighting fires as a 
means of releasing the tension and anger 
he felt toward his parents. He was later con- 
victed of setting several major forest fires. 

“One fire may quench their need for 
control for a while,” admits media psychi- 
atrist Dr. Carole Lieberman. “But just like 
someone who needs to masturbate again, 
these urges come back for firesetters too.” 

But rather than receive a sexual thrill 
out of the flames, there are those juvenile 
arsonists who torch in response to a dis- 
tressful sexual experience. 

oa * * 

More than 90% of all convicted serial 
killers were juvenile arsonists. David 
Berkowitz. the infamous “Son of Sam,” 
admitted to setting more than 2,000 fires 
between 1974 and 1977. He would even 
call in the blazes he set to police, identify- 
ing himself as the “Phantom of the Bronx.” 

Ironically, childhood friends of Berk- 


(continued on page 62) 


AUGUST HUSTLER 


# oy) 
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3 
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masturbate unobstrt 


owitz recall him dreaming of becoming a 
firefighter when he grew up. 

“Stocking Strangler” Carlton Gary was 
born with a near-genius [Q, but his poten- 
tial for brilliance was quickly snuffed out 
by abusive parents and stepfathers. 

He was malnourished to the point of 
starvation and was often seen by neighbors 
rummaging through trash cans in search of 
discarded scraps of food. According to the 
book Serial Killers (Doubleday, 1988), 
Gary quickly developed a propensity for vi- 
olence and antisocial behavior that led to 
his first arrest for arson when he was 16 
years old. As the turmoil escalated in his 
mind, so did the crimes. When he was ulti- 
mately arrested for the final time, he was 
sentenced to death for the sexual assaults 
and strangulation murders of at least three 
elderly women. 

What makes a psychotic or borderline 
personality choose fire as their means of 
release? In many ways, the arsonist is the 
ultimate introvert. He’s deeply antisocial, 
especially in his relationships with women. 
Through fire, he hopes to harness the power 
that lacks in his empty, everyday encounters. 

A profile of one arsonist quoted in a 


62 


his. 


nearby. 


acks as the blaze rage 


1987 Los Angeles Times Magazine article 
supported Dr. Wooden’s findings. This 
pyromaniac had been physically and sexu- 
ally abused as a child. Since he could not 
attack his tormentors directly, he began 
setting fires as a cry for help. “I could 
build a fire and burn up anybody I want- 
ed,” he said in that story. “If I was mad at 
my mother, I could destroy her without 
touching her. I'd pick out a box and say, 
‘This is for you,’ and watch the fire de- 
stroy it. After the fire went out, the prob- 
lem was solved.” 

Like many rapists, arsonists plan in ad- 
vance and operate alone. They are driven 
by an overwhelming, internal rage and are 
unconcerned by the possibility that their 
fires might destroy other people’s lives. 

Whereas the arsonist who acts out of 
anger or revenge will torch specific struc- 
tures that to him symbolize the individual 
who incurred the wrath, the delusional or 
erotic arsonist will select locations that 
are much more remote. 

Secluded areas allow the arsonist time to 
enjoy the fire in uninterrupted peace, be- 
fore the chaos of crowds and firefighters 
begins. Often, he will walk or drive 


through the targeted area several times be- 
fore he is confident enough to begin. The 
firesetter will then wait for ideal condi- 
tions, such as high winds during a dry 
season, before initiating the blaze. Once 
the chaos begins, if the arsonist does sur- 
reptitiously return to the scene, he may 
even assist the firefighters in extinguishing 
a fire he has set. Firefighters themselves 
have come under scrutiny of what is known 
as the “Hero Theory,” where an individual 
purposely sets a fire in order to be the first 
to discover and hopefully extinguish it, and 
thus reap the subsequent praise. 

“T think a lot of times, through exces- 
sive special effects, the media represents 
fire in an even more exciting way than it is 
in real life,” says Dr. Lieberman, who also 
works as a Hollywood script consultant 
and hosts the radio talk show, Real Talk 
About Reel Life on KWNK in Los Ange- 
les. “A lot of directors use fire to add 
power to a scene, whether it’s a lot of can- 
dles to make a scene more romantic, or 
explosions to underscore violence and 
destruction. It’s interesting that we have so 
many metaphors that relate fire to sex. 
Someone you lust after is described as 
‘hot,’ or you talk about the “burning in 
your heart.” ” 

Certainly, a long list of artists could be 
tallied who've used kindling metaphors to 
represent passionate feelings. Jerry Lee 
Lewis had his “Great Balls of Fire,” while 
Jim Morrison of the Doors paid homage to 
his vision of an “L.A. Woman” with the 
lines, / see her hair is burning /Hills are 
filled with fire /If they say I never loved 
you /You know they are a liar. 

Fire-fetishists have also been well 
represented in literature. From Shake- 
speare’s references in Romeo & Juliet: 
One fire burns out another's burning; 
one pain is lessened by another's an- 
guish, to Vladimir Nabokov’s forty- 
something character, Humbert Humbert, 
who described his sexual obsession with 
a 13-year-old girl in the opening sentence 
of Lolita with the words: Lolita, light of 
my life, fire of my loins /My sin, my 
soul /Lo-lee-ta. 

The juvenile arsonist has often had less 
exposure to the prose of Shakespeare than 
to mainstream music-video symbology. 
What heavy-metal band has forgone a 
burst of fire? 

If sexual unrest were the preeminent 
motivator of arson, nary a city nor forest 
would remain uncharred. But whatever 
the motivational factors, arsonists go to 
tremendous lengths to summon the psy- 
chological force of the flame. Unlike a 
loving couple who light a communal 
cigarette after sex, the arsonist operates 
on the fringes of society and forces others 
to unknowingly participate in his lonely, 
primal purge. @ 


AUGUST HUSTLER 


“Monique? She's around the corner blowin’ chunks.” 


A MECCA OF XXX MUFF“ 


— <eveclatioaonc in Pony ret 
—,. > : AAD VCULACLIVIIIS AAR ANAAEEAAL ES 


Fe LEG; Ke ASS ‘ With Cheezboy 

bf , A porn devotee slouches to 

\ the desert on a pilgrimage 
for poon. He beats the odds, 

} and he beats his meat too. 


~ 


\ 


ILLUSTRATION BY CHRLS(COOPER 
» S, 


Friday evenings, on their way home from 
work, countless bachelors, frustrated hus- 
bands and a few wet-pantied others dart 
into the “Adults Only” section of their local 
video-rental emporiums. Later, they spend 
a few hours cuddled up with the cathode 
approximations of their objects of desire. 

Think of what the porn-viewing public 
would do if they could meet their whack 
aids in the flesh. Would they simply gawk 
at the bulging tit-flesh? Leer silently at the 
rounded buttocks barely hidden beneath 
stretched Spandex? Play pocket pool with 
one hand while holding out a glossy for an 
autograph with the other? The following is 
an account, slurred by alcohol abuse, sleep 
deprivation and dysfunctionally hyperac- 
tive hormones, of a porn purist, a walking 
hard-on—Cheezboy. 

Along with his guide, Mal O’Ree, editor 
of HUSTLER EROTIC VIDEO GUIDE, 
Cheezboy met the women who make his 
forehead sweat. 

This perfect adventure needed a perfect 
setting. Once a year, the porn industry’s 
notables gather in Las Vegas at the Con- 
sumer Electronics Show. Featured fuckers 
sit in booths, meet their public, sign box 


66 


covers and autograph glossies. There’s 

even an award ceremony, presented by 

Adult Video News, which for many is the 

highlight of the long weekend. For others, 

like Cheez and Mal, it isn’t even the 

cummy frosting on the carnal cake. 
ae ak * 

The hair on my back prickled from the 
warmth of the sun’s desert glare against 
my floral print Hawaiian shirt. Mal had 
just informed me, as we met at Vegas’s 
airport, that I’d ridden on the same plane 
as K. C. Williams and Randy West. Al- 
though my knowledge of porn stars’ 
names is nil—he could have meant Casey 
Jones and Dottie West for all I knew—I 
still felt the rush of having been, albeit 
unwittingly, in the presence of greatness. It 
was a feeling that would visit me often 
throughout the long weekend. 

My main objective was to fuck, suck, 
diddle, schmooze and whack as much as 
possible. We checked into the Sahara and 
paid twice the rate we were told we 
would. The first star 1 saw was Victoria 
Paris, signing autographs. She’s beauti- 
ful; I felt myself growing hard immedi- 
ately. Off to the right was a bar. It was 


there that we set the precedent for the 
whole trip. We met this chick, Lee Carroll, 
who has huge tits. Mal said she was a star. 
He said, “Look at those tits. Let me get a 
picture of those tits. Cheez, stick your 
face right in those tits.” 

She was a bit tough-looking, but I stuck 
my face down there and kissed her jugs. 
She started blabbering about getting a bus 
ticket to L.A. She had to go home to feed 
her cats. She said she had to leave right 
then, to see Phil. 

Phil? Phil who? 

No, she said. She's got to pay the bills. 
This went on in circles. She was talking 
like a schizo. I grabbed Mal, and we made 
our getaway. 

As we battled our way through the 
throng, Mal introduced me to every fuck- 
ing body there. He spread the word that 
there was going to be a huge HUSTLER 
blowout in our room later that night. I 
remember meeting Nina Hartley, Carter 
Stevens, Mistress Cherry Orchard—who 
bent me over and paddled my ass pink 
right in the middle of the convention— 
Bill Margold, Samantha York and Stan 
Butt. We met John Stagliano and Bruce 
Seven. As I ogled succulent women, Mal 
announced that it was futile, as every 
woman was another man’s woman. I still 
don’t know what the fuck he meant. It had 
all become a blur. 

Digging loot from our pockets, we hit 
the store and bought tons of overpriced 
booze for the party. We iced down the beer 
and headed for Bally’s, to the Celebrity 
Lounge. On stage was the most confused 
human I would see the whole trip. This 
guy was at least 50 years old, looked like 
Mick Mars from MOtley Criie from the 
neck up, businessman to the waist, and 
hooker from there down. I'd never seen 
anyone in a sport coat, tie, black tights and 
red-vinyl, thigh-high fuck-me boots. The 
poor mook. Everyone in the joint was hav- 
ing a big laugh. I was too dumbfounded. 
Despite his appearance, he had a voice like 
a god. I was very impressed. 

Ed Powers was there with Randy West. 
“Cheez Balls!” Ed yelled. “Come heyaaa, 
Cheez Balls!” I'd met Ed a few months 
earlier at a party. | was running around 
with my shorts on my head then. He 
thought I was a party guru. He was scary. 

Near Ed Powers and the over-perfumed 
West were Marissa Malibu and Flame, a 
couple of comely starlets. Despite the fact 
that the bar was patronized by 95% 
straight businessmen, these chicks were 
mashing tits, sucking spit and dueling 
tongues smack in the middle of the action. 
The gaggle of ogling non-sex-industry 
geeks seemed shocked and a little embar- 
rassed, but the offset nature of their trous- 
er pockets told a different story. 

My balls pumped pure dick adrenaline, 


AUGUST HUSTLER 


and I hoped that I’d soon be balls-deep in 
a porn poon. Mal and I headed back to our 
room. It was midnight, but no one had 
shown up yet. We readied ourselves with 
more alcohol, hoping that the evening 
would end in sperm-drenched ecstasy. 

There was a knock. 

Mal and I were all tittery as we opened 
the door. At first I was struck dumb, deaf 
and blind by the tidal wave of cologne that 
hit me. It was Frenchman Sergio, from Hot 
Video magazine, and a horde of his toilet- 
watered compatriots. Shocked by the lack 
of snatch, they lurked for a while, cursing 
us in their garbled tongue and drinking our 
free booze before slinking out to whence 
they came. As if by magic, the swarthy- 
men’s departure triggered a flood of pussy. 

In walked Angela Summers and Tom 
Byron. In walked Mona Lisa and Trixy 
Tyler, whose cow-eyed, vacuous stare 
made my slumbering midget roll over in 
my tight whities. Stagliano and Seven 
cruised in. It was a fucking party. Lynn 
Lemay, accompanied by her titanic tits, 
dropped by. Photographer Scott St. James 
grabbed a Polaroid and started egging the 
girls on. Tonisha Mills whupped up her 


—_ 


“Oh, yeah...this is real fair! And I guess the snake gets to stay, right?” 


68 


top, and I was there, suckling like a baby 
pig. Even the girl from the wheel-of-for- 
tune gizmo down in the casino was in our 
room, turning her panties into cotton paste. 

Lynn got her tits out; Angela got her 
tits out. | managed to wedge my head 
between the four battling mams. It 
became apparent that Angela had taken a 
hankering to Lemay’s bazookas. Always 
the photo slut, though, she let Scott's 
crafty lens catch it all. During their lez 
munch, Bruce Seven proved to be most 
nimble, using Summers’s sloughed 
pantyhose to tie her wrists above her 
head. Scott abandoned his lens work in 
favor of getting an oral close-up of 
Summers’s delicious box. 

Hovering behind Scott's busy head was 
Mal. He kept trying to cut in on the slurp 
action, but settled for sucking toes. After 
the party, though. he whined about not 
having sucked enough toe. Scott and I 
decided we'd shoot our own film, featur- 
ing O’Ree as Mal Bundy in Death of a 
Shoe Salesman. 

But he finally got his chance at Sum- 
mers’s wet trough and dove in. I was get- 
ting extremely firm in the pants, watching 


= 


the nibbling, poking, chomping. O’Ree 
waved me over, beckoning me to hunker 
down in front of his split-mound prize. 

“Eat, Cheez. Eat,” he offered. 

I might have been a walking, schmooz- 
ing bota bag full of JD at that point, but 
I wasn’t a fool. In a heartbeat I had 
wedged my tongue, deep as could be, up 
Summers's juice spout. After a few min- 
utes of gnashing at her snatch, I realized 
that she was the star of the one and only 
porn vid that I have at home. Her tits were 
new, which threw me for a loop, until 
I went eye-to-box with her. I giggled to 
myself as I plunged a thick finger up her 
sopping hole. She was struggling like hell 
against her restraints and soon wiggled 
free. That was it. My fun was finished. Of 
course, Mal gave me a lengthy scolding, 
explaining that when eating out a porn 
star, one ought not stick one’s fingers into 
the vagina. 

I didn’t think that my digital probing put 
her to flight; it looked like she was just 
sick of having the circulation to her hands 
cut off, but what did I know? I had just 
supped at the cunt that I had so often salut- 
ed, late at night, with a stream of white, 
arcing across the TV’s bluish flicker. 

The party went downhill from there, 
and by early morning our room was 
empty— except for the alluring funk of 
Angela’s ripe clam. Lying on my belly, I 
buried my face in my pillow. It intensified 
the pussy aroma to the point where I start- 
ed humping the mattress. O’Ree must 
have thought I was going for a facedown 
whack, and he called me on it. I explained 
the pillow’s odor-enhancing power, and 
soon we were both on our backs, cocks in 
hand with pillows smothering our mugs. I 
could hear the sticky slap of limp meat 
being spanked. Even though we were both 
nothing more than two puddles of raging 
fuck hormones, Mal was, due to extreme 
inebriation, unable to translate this into 
wood. I fared only a bit better, coughing 
up a few weak drops of dick spittle from 
my semifirm prick. 

The next morning, Friday, we got up at 
nine. We decided to make the rounds, now 
that the porn convention downstairs was 
filling up. We saw everyone from the night 
before, plus Goddess Sondra. She’s a 
beautiful blonde whose huge tits strain 
against her latex top. She has mile-long, 
red fingernails and a nasty attitude. My 
mind plotted and schemed, trying to men- 
tally locate an alcove or closet where I 
could fuck her silly. 

Mal introduced us. The first thing she 
said to me was, “Have you ever fantasized 
about being murdered?” I knew there would 
be no bending her over, no nuzzling her 
warm bosom, no pumping her ripe snatch. 

While milling around, I also got to meet 

(continued on page 98) 


AUGUST HUSTLER 


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Arter a few years of marriage, a young woman became 
increasingly dismayed by her diminishing sex life. She 
tried everything from greeting her husband at the door 
in Saran Wrap to purchasing sex toys from a mail-order 
boutique. Nothing had the desired effect on her hus- 
band’s libido. Eventually, she persuaded him to consult 
a psychotherapist. The therapist was well known for the 
use of hypnotism in his practice. 

The woman was delighted when, after just a few vis- 
its, her husband’s ardor was restored to honeymoon 
dimensions. There was only one annoying side effect. 
Every so often during sex, he would jump up and run 
out of the room for a minute or two before returning to 
finish their lovemaking. 

At first his wife didn’t want to rock the boat, but soon 
curiosity got the best of her. Following him into the 
bathroom, she saw him staring into the mirror, mutter- 
ing, “She’s not my wife...she’s not my wife...she’s not 
my wife....” 


Risstion: What did the Jewish mother ask when she 
learned that her daughter’d had an affair? 
Answer: “Who catered it?” 


A hooker went into the bank to put away some newly 
acquired earrings. 

“I happen to know something about jewelry, 
ma’am,” confided the teller, “and I know that these are 
not genuine rubies.” 

“Oh, my God!” screamed the hooker. “I’ve been 
raped!” 


Arter confessing to a psychiatrist that he had an unusu- 
ally active sex life with his wife, his mistress and sever- 
al girlfriends, a sexaholic also admitted to frequent 
masturbation and wet dreams. 

“Which activity gives you the most pleasure?” the 
shrink asked. 

“Wet dreams.” 

“Why wet dreams?” 

“Hell, you meet a much better class of people!” 


80 


A young stockbroker on his first business trip was 
determined to do a great job for his firm and to give an 
impression of cool professionalism at all times. Need- 
less to say, it made for an exhausting day, and by the 
time he returned to his hotel room, he was so wired and 
tense that he decided to jerk off. 

He was stroking at it when the door was opened by a 
bellhop carrying a drink intended for the room next 
door. “Pardon me, sir,” said the flustered servant, “but 
where would you like me to set down your cocktail?” 

“| didn’t order a drink!” retorted the broker. Panicked 
about his reputation and thinking fast, he quickly 
added, “Can't you see I’m already so drunk that I’m 
taking advantage of me?” 


Buesiion: What’s the difference between a drunk and 
an alcoholic? 

Answer: A drunk doesn’t have to go to those fuckin’ 
meetings! 


Fran, a cheating gambler, was in Vegas shooting a 
hot game of craps. The pot was enormous. Frank 
shook the dice, rolled *em and, as luck would have it, 
a third die slipped out of his sleeve and fell on the 
table with the other two. 

No one said a word until Big Buzz, the baddest guy 
in town, picked up the third die, slipped it into his pock- 
et and handed Frank the other two. 

“Roll ’em,” he said, grinning. “Your point is 14.” 


White on vacation, an elderly couple stopped for gas. 
The attendant walked up to the car and asked, “May I 
help you?” 

The elderly lady leaned over to her husband and said, 
“What did he say?” 

Her husband replied, “He said, ‘May I help you?’ ” 

Now the attendant asked, “Fill ’er up?” 

“What did he say?” 

The husband replied “yes” to the attendant and then 
repeated the question to his wife. 

As the attendant was pumping gas, he engaged the 
elderly gent in small talk. “I see from your tags that 
you’re from Arkansas.” The old man nodded in the affir- 
mative, and the attendant continued, “I once went with a 
gal from Arkansas—laziest piece | ever got. All she did 
was just lie there while I got my nut—what a pig!” 

By now, the old lady was tugging away at her hus- 
band’s sleeve. “What's he saying?” 

The man just shrugged and answered, “He thinks he 
knows you.” 


HUSTLER Humor jokes are sent to us by our readers. 
If you've heard a gut-buster lately, why not send it 
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in a sealed envelope, to HUSTLER Humor, 9171 
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AUGUST HUSTLER 


featuring 
_ Family” Bols Harry Bols 


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TEsvlM 


A tough guy. makes the transition | 
from nightclub bouncer to hired 
thug, | but the violent life 

sd vis full of hidden 


"enforcers. 


BY ROBERT KALAFUT 


ttt | b-bn- 


Otis Dslr 


During the interview, they asked how comfortable | was with violence 
and how great | considered my self-control. There my training ended. 


The girl shifted uncomfortably against the 
brown burlap of the fake palm tree. Mr. 
Toughfuck faced her down with the shove 
and muscle of an overgrown, schoolyard 
bully. In two steps I'm standing behind 
him. At 6-1, 220 pounds, 1 cast an easy 
shadow over his six-foot, 185-pound 
frame. It’s a shadow he will not remember 
until the next day. 

My hands strike him in the throat. My 
fingers shoot into the fleshy pulp of his 
neck like dull talons. 

“Leave, or I will kill you.” There is no 


trace of levity in my voice. No evidence of 


the boys-will-be-boys wink and nod that 
his now-frightened eyes are so desperately 
searching for. In the measured and steady 
tone of my voice ts the intimation of my 
ability, almost godlike, to make the word 
flesh. The rush of that power has me trem- 
bling like a drunk. 


I deposit him on the sidewalk in front of 


the club and remove my fingers from his 
neck. They hurt from clenching. It takes 
some doing for me to hurt. I'm not only 
big, I'm strong. Can dead-lift more than 
500 pounds. | smile when I think that my 
fingers ache because of the effort I'd ex- 


pended choking this man, ejecting him 
from the club I'd come to think of as mine. 

Inside come congratulations, high- 
fives from strangers, the good word from 
the gawking crowd and my fellow bounc- 
ers. | want to tell them not to praise the 
returning gladiator, because the dumb- 
shit sucking pavement with the imprints 
of ten of my fingers ‘round his throat 
could just as easily have been them. But 
no warning comes. I'm an equal-oppor- 
tunity asshole. 


GOT MY MOJO WORKING 

In the summer of 1991, after gamely 
working to make a go of the business I 
own (CFY Records) and the degree I'd 
earned (a bachelor degree from Stanford 
University), I found myself needing a sec- 
ond job to feed the hungry (me). Being an 
editor, actor, publisher and singer got me 
nothing but the hard end of soft shit in the 
recessionary workplace. Being a weight- 
lifting, karate-punching sweetheart of a 
guy got me a $7-an-hour gig working 
nights on the nightclub seas of Lycra, 
Spandex, boys, girls, furtive bathroom 


“Wow...so this is the executive bathroom!” 


and assholes that have had too much of all 
of the above and have forgotten how to 
stop before they slide from stupid to sad to 
belligerent. Because of my shaved head, I 
was called Mr. Clean. And I did. 

I stumbled into this line of work, trip- 
ping on the heels of my ambition to check 
out the trophy circuit. During its off-hours, 
the nightclub hosted powerlifting and mar- 
tial-arts competitions. It was the latter that 
bumped me into months of muscle work 
in the nightly, neon throb of alcohol-incit- 
ed transgressions and the need to suppress 
‘em. I lost the karate competition I'd come 
for, but I found a new line of work. 

During the interview for the job, the 
manager and general manager wanted to 
know above all else that I was stable. 
They asked where I lived (a bad neighbor- 
hood— good ‘nuff), how comfortable I 
was with violence (nobody likes violence, 
right?) and how great I considered my lev- 
el of self-control (1 can stomach this shit 
without puking). There my job training 
ended. Having already studied kenpo 
karate and the deadly Southeast Asian 
Muay Thai (Thai boxing), as well as be- 
ing a bonafide, barbell boy, my qualifica- 
tions more than made do. 

I found out quickly enough that bounc- 
ing was the same as any other job, in the 
sense that having your heart in it made the 
difference between a job and a job well 
done. I sure as fuck didn’t have a heart for 
it, but a lump of hot coal burned in my 
chest, and the more I needed the money, 
the more I hated the job and the angrier | 
got. Which made me one hell of a consci- 
entious bouncer. I was one motherfucking, 
red-hot “point of light.” 


GETS WORKING ON YOU 

Unlike every single bouncer who ever 
beat me to a pulp before shit-canning my 
ass in the days when I was all mouth and 
no muscle and liked getting cracked, | 
made an effort to communicate before 
pulling a strong arm. Especially with big 
guys, who usually felt more secure and 
were consequently more likely to listen to 
reason. On the other hand, big guys were 
the only real challenge I had. Recalling Eli 
Wallach in The Good, the Bad and the 
Ugly, | like “beeg guys because when dey 
fall dey make more noise.” 

He's about 6-5, approximately 250 
pounds. He's tearing down the canvas 
banner that announces dollar drinks, 
that hangs behind the lifeguard chair 
where I sit. 1 step up to him. Say as nice- 
ly as possible: 

“Excuse me—did you pull this down?” 

“I’m baaaddd,” replies the over-the- 
line, subhuman locomotive. 

“T don't think you heard the question, 
sir. 1 asked you if you pulled this down.” 

“I'm baaaddd.” 


AUGUST HUSTLER 


“Lights out, Tyson.” 


“A very simple question has been 
asked. It required a very simple answer. 
You've not given it to me. So now you 
must leave.” 

Staring into his chest, ignoring his 
three friends and their pleas to back off, 1 
announce that it’s time that they all take 
a hike. Because I hate these motherfuck- 
ers so totally and completely that the 
feeling comes closer to approaching 
purity than anything I’ve ever known. My 
entire universe has funneled into hatred 
for this man. 

He places his beer bottle down. First 
mistake. Starts for the front door with me 
right behind him. Swaggers and leans 
back into me. I'm trying hard to maintain. 
My control is slipping fast. The best part 
about having control is losing it. And I do. 

T ram the knuckle of my thumb into the 
soft curve of his Adam's apple before 
catching him in the much-maligned sleep- 
er hold, cutting the blood flow to the brain 
from direct, brutal pressure on the carotid 
artery. His attempts to fight back are 
dulled by lack of oxygen, but he bucks like 
a fucking bronco while 1 ride him like a 
pony. 1 drop him on the outside pavement, 


= 
Were ae CH! Kas 


> = Toy PR — ——, 
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and the beast that makes me hateful and 
crazy has exploded behind my eyes. I be- 
gin to stomp him into unconsciousness be- 


fore being stopped by some of the city’s 
finest, who privately reprimand me as the 


duly appointed public servants that they 


are: “You can be arrested for that kind of 


shit.” I care not at all. 1 figure that is real- 
ly the least of my problems... 

One night after work, the boys in blue 
decided, at the behest of the club’s general 
manager, to have a téte-a-téte with me. It 
dawned on me at this particular point in 
my head-banging career that I was ass out 
in the wind and the nightclub, whose hazi- 
ly defined standards I so fiercely tried to 
uphold, was not going to jeopardize their 
big-money operation by supporting in any 
way the bone-crushing actions of an over- 
amped, $7-an-hour hood. No club-ap- 
pointed lawyers for me. Not even cab fare. 

Faced with the double-pronged 
tongues of club owners and cops cluck- 
ing about protecting a public they pro- 
fessed to serve, I promised the boys, 
“From now on everybody goes out the 
side door or the back.” I had to be able to 
work in peace, so to speak, 


“We just got the news that your insurance company no longer covers extended illnesses.” 


86 


LIE DOWN WITH DOGS, GET UP 
WITH FLEAS 

Years of hassles at the hands of four- 
fisted fuckers in uniforms made me cringe 
every night I pulled up to the club and 
wended my way through a phalanx of the 
men in blue. Bouncers may act like cops, 
but they're just getting a job done. If cops 
are pigs, it’s because they’re doing the 
same job, but badly. Whereas I wouldn't 
soil my knuckles if my economic outlook 
hadn’t been so bleak, the cops who worked 
the club seemed well adjusted, happy to 
have drawn such a cush assignment. They 
were all in their late 20s or early 30s and 
seemed more worried about pensions and 
prostate cancer than whether I'd been too 
rough on another muscle boy and his 
drunk-bitch girlfriend. They’d sneak occa- 
sional glimpses of the strapped-and-strut- 
ting ginch parade and, for the most part, 
come off sad and small. 

Those were the times I'd feel some- 
thing for them. Call it empathy; | 
wouldn't. In this bruise-colored wash of 
brotherly love, we started sharing stories 
that would make peace-lovin’ brethren 
shudder: heads cracked, noses broken, 
kidneys burst, martial-arts practitioners 
choking suspects into unconsciousness. 
We were the lost battalions, the army of 
the rich’s secret police. I soon discovered 
there was only a slight difference in what I 
did in the club and what they did on the 
street: They were paid better. Everything 
else was justification, 


WHAT?’S HAPPENING TO ME? 

To make a long story longer, the reces- 
sion deepened—that of my personal 
trough as well as that of the nation’s econ- 
omy. The likelihood that I might soon re- 
turn to the conventional work force grew 
more remote. | could handle the picture in 
one of two ways—either crack up or not. 
I did both. 

I applied for editorial jobs and learned 
the buyer’s market the hard way. I audi- 
tioned for TV commercials and scored, 
playing a gym instructor in a bank spot, 
but the money was gone in a week. I 
found myself back at the club more bitter 
and hateful than when I first arrived, Ud 
gone from $65K to maybe $I5K a year, 
and I wasn’t happy about it. Perhaps a 
pretty petty concern, considering I hadn't 
suffered something as tragic as the loss of 
a limb, but my mind was wasting away 


just the same.... 


Watching a gaggle of subhuman trash 
burning money was like holding a blow- 
torch to the pathetic last shreds of my low 
self-esteem. I wanted to shake the black 
souls of every last one of them loose from 
their bodies. Misery loved company, 
which was why they were there—and 
why I was there too. | wanted to make 


AUGUST HUSTLER 


them suffer because I was suffering. So I 
waited. And watched. Fingers fairly 
itchin’ for action. 

If I ever felt worried, it was more for 
myself than for them. | was becoming a 
predator. Being hungry and poor will do 
that. | found myself wanting to rape all of 
the women and kill all of the men, and 
this—I was still able to appreciate— was 
not good. My pit boss came over every 
now and then to ask if I was all right. I 
mumbled that I was okay. I wasn’t okay.... 

The whole country was collapsing into 
a foul-smelling sinkhole while Reagan 
O’Bush made the world richer for the rich 
and more wretched for the rest. People 
wondered when the bill for the fat years 
was gonna come due. Well, it had already 
come due for me, and there was an ugli- 
ness in my soul that fed off it. I didn’t 
enjoy being a headcracker. But I liked it 
very much. That was the nature of my 
special Hell. 


FINAL DESCENT 

Six months later, | was still starving, I 
couldn’t afford health insurance, | 
couldn't fend off credit-card charges or 


88 


student loans and could barely pay my 
rent. I attempted to conceal this fact from 
everyone, including myself, pretending it 
simply wasn’t happening. And then there 
came a phone call and, almost as quickly, 
another step down. 

The voice on the line offered $100 for 
a half hour’s work. I agreed. Took the 
information: name, address, height, 
weight, make and model of car. Out of 
sheer curiosity, | asked why. The reply: 
“He owes me money, and if he doesn’t 
pay me what he owes me, you'll pay him 
what he owes me.” 

! waited across the street from his 


house, my car pointed in the direction of 


the nearest freeway entrance. He came 
out of the house. | began walking toward 
him. Not too fast. Not too slow. He was 
shoving a box of cassette tapes into the 
car from the door on the passenger side 
when I asked for the time.... 

He glanced at his watch without looking 
at me. 1 cracked him behind the ear with 
my elbow, shouting, “Who's a faggot?” 

I bent over him, smacking away the 
hand he'd raised to protect his face with a 
brutal swipe of my clenched fist. 


HELP! HELP! T'M 
CHOKING ON MY 
OWN VOMIT! 


“What are you doin’, man?” he cried 
in a terrified bleat. My knuckles cracked 
his cheekbone and knocked the sense out 
of his head. 

His upraised hand flapped like a bird in 
my face. 1 grabbed his fingers and bent 
them back. 

An animal cry of pure agony escaped 
his lips, It was a horrible sound. It hadn't 
yet become music to my ears. 

He fell to the seat. In the darkening 
shadows of his car, 1 beat his face to a 
pulp, then slammed the car door on his 
crooked, puppet legs and walked away. 

Later, the ramifications of what it 
was that 1 had done came home to 
roost, and I wanted to die because of 
this. But right then, immediately after- 
ward, speeding to the nearest pay 
phone the farthest | could get from the 
scene, | started rubbing my crotch. My 
dick was hard. Oh, God.... 

te co * 

I only said two things to him. The 
first— to ask the time—was to get him 
to look at his watch and away from me. 
The second—to call him a faggot—was 
to justify the beating in the eyes of any 
nosy passersby. He'd be seen beaten os- 
tensibly because he'd insulted another 
man’s manhood. Forget the fact that I 
was much bigger than him. Forget the 
fact that he spent most of the encounter 
on his knees and on his back. Sense of 
fair play would not have been violated 
because he had asked for it. 

Since this was my first job, I figured to 
cover my ass. If caught, I was in the 
clear, or at least in an explainable situa- 
tion: the common street fight. It was a 
stop-gap measure, but the thought of cap- 
ture and punishment was the furthest 
thing from my mind—TI was more wor- 
ried about my soul. 


IF LHAD A HAMMER 

The $100 from this job was gone in a 
day. Groceries and gasoline were greedy 
motherfuckers. 

But jobs came regularly after I ex- 
plained to my initial phone source that 
random street crime was an inner-city 
curse that could strike at any moment, es- 
pecially for those who left debts unpaid. 
Raising my price with every job helped 
me avoid admitting to myself that I felt 
like doing what I was doing. 

The violence was chillingly anony- 
mous, but highly personal. I knew nothing 
about my victims except that they owed 
money to somebody rich enough to pay to 
get it back. As of this writing, I'd made 11 
collections. The least I’ve been paid for a 
single job has been $100. The most was 
$600. I suspect that at a certain point I'd 
have done it for free. The substance of 

(continued on page 101) 


AUGUST HUSTLER 


“Mother, he put my wedding dress on, and I'm wearing something called a dildo!" 


tt 


graphy by Matti Kila 


, 


hoto 
\\ 


——- 


4 


on f 


agen, 
SS IT 


“caromed off her tts and ruined her hairdo and, | think, our friendship. 


Christy Canyon. She was the sweetest 
porn goddess imaginable, my private Our 
Lady of Guadalupe. I keep her memory 
stashed in my mind’s future-whack-mate- 
rial file. 

Later I met up with an assistant for Stan 
Butt. They were supposed to be working 
with a new black actress, but the deal got 
canceled. I tagged along and ended up lur- 
ing my dusky prize up to my room. Mal 
had gone back to the room beforehand to 
nap. As quietly as I could, I took her into 
the bathroom and asked her to strip. She 
peeled her clothes off while I made use of 
the Polaroid camera we brought. By the 
time she was totally naked, I almost 
couldn't breathe. My heart was thumping, 
and I felt dizzy. I hadn't eaten all day, 
unless you count munching ice cubes from 
my cocktails. The chocolate starlet’s name 
was Jaguar. I had popped a pillow under 
her ass on the toilet, and she fucking went 
to town. Diddling her pussy, squeezing her 
fat jugs, she even made all the requisite 
porn facial contortions. I was clicking 
shots with the Polaroid and trying to be 
cool and considerate, like it was a frigging 
date or something. 


que (PO 


She leaned back, spreading it. “Hey, 
can I eat your pussy?” I blurted. It just 
came out. 

Before I could relax my throat enough 
to take another breath, she said that would 
be fine. Relieved, I got to business, slurp- 
ing on her juice slash. After a while I 
pulled my pants off and, feeling brave, 
asked her if I could fuck her. 

“No, I gotta do a shoot later and don’t 
wanna be sore.” 

Fair enough. But I was disappointed. 

“Mind if | whack while you play with 
your tits?” I asked. 

“Fine,” she said. I got to work, knuckles 
whistling across my flute. She pulled her 
nipples, rubbed her bouncing tits. When I 
felt release approaching, I threw a leg over 
her belly and aimed my barrel at her mug. 

Huzzah! 

It was a legendary load, hitting her chin, 
neck, tits. The white goo drizzled across her 
dusky skin like a work of art. Of course, we 
woke the slumbering humbug. Mal raged 
in, pissed that his beauty sleep was inter- 
rupted. We finally placated him by offering 
him a taste of Jag’s black crack. After a few 
licks, he dropped his snitty attitude. 


LITICIAN 
vipeo GAME 


———— 

= =C, s 
ners ae. 
— 


Then it was off to a party thrown by a 
video company. Even though they were 
generous hosts, offering the finest drinks 
and snacks to be had at the whole shindig, 
the memory of Crime Story-style thugs by 
the door will prohibit me from naming the 
company. We did have a hell of a good 
time there, and I met an agent, Reb, whose 
rosy outlook on porn took the sleazy edge 
off my opinions. Temporarily. 

Reb, who had driven his own car, gave 
us a lift to Bunny Bleu’s glorious blowout. 
I got to sit next to Hyapatia Lee, who is 
even more beautiful in person than on 
film. We decided, once we surmised that 
we'd be denied puss by all at this particu- 
lar party, to head back to our room at the 
Sahara and ready ourselves for another 
night’s slaughter. 

It was another blowout. This time, how- 
ever, I was a bit overwhelmed. A cute doll 
of a girl was getting her ass pummeled 
raw. Everyone but me thought this S&M 
display absolutely hilarious. I alone 
objected and, in doing so, drew jeers and 
hoots from those who knew that it was all 
consensual and, therefore, okey-doke. 

I escaped to the john for a breather, but 
was followed by a pretty gal named 
Michelle. She insisted that I feel her ass. I 
did. It felt fine, and I told her so. Soon we 
were joined by Dallas St. Clair, her pal and 
budding pornstress. Lo and behold, tits 
flopped out, spit was swapped, and the 
bathroom filled with other horny geeks 
looking for a cheap thrill. It got too crowd- 
ed; so I bailed. The party dragged on for a 
bit, then fizzled. 

Saturday, as I was resting up for the 
AVN awards that night, Dallas dropped 
by with some corporate geek in tow. I 
managed to show him the door, and her 
my dink. Again, I played off the exhibi- 
tionist streak I knew lurked within her. 
She was nude, on my bed, putting on a 
show for me as I stroked in her honor. I 
climbed up, gave her a quick cunt-suck, 
then started rubbing my cock tip on her 
pink bead. Without announcing my inten- 
tion, I let my cock slither deep inside her 
tight snatch. Oh, lordy, was she good. 
When it came time for me to unload, I 
pulled out, as I thought was right, and 
aimed for her open mouth. 

I'd never make it as a porn stud. Instead 
of filling her mouth, my cum caromed off 
her ample tits and ruined her hairdo and, I 
think, our friendship. 

That night I learned why Mal wasn’t 
so eager to get into the Adult Video 
News awards show. Neither of us had 
passes; yet this didn’t bother him. He’d 
been before, he said. I weaseled a pass 
and suffered through the preposterous 
ceremony. Everyone was drunk as hell, 
and the awards were ludicrous, but the 
salami with the cream cheese in it was 


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really good. I also had strawberry cake 
and some coffee. 

I caught up with Mal afterward, and we 
arranged an impromptu photo-shoot in a 
back room with some big-titted, willing 
honeys. Guarding the door was a securi- 
ty cop. She looked pretty good; so we 
coaxed her into posing with us. In a jiffy, 
we were up in our room taking naked pho- 
tos of her. Mal ripped her pantyhose at the 
crotch and dove in like Tarzan. She came 
so much, the bed was soaked, literally. I 
doffed my duds and went for it. She went 
down on me, swallowing like a circus 
geek. Scott was getting it all on Polaroid, 
and that slowed me down. I had intended 
to partake but didn’t feel right about the 
existence of photographic evidence of my 
schween in action, 

Nonetheless, | propped her up on the 
vanity in the bathroom and stuck it in her 
flooded tunnel. Scott was still taking shots 
and wanted to know when I intended to 
come. Soon my balls tensed, and I let 
Scott know that the trigger was about to be 
pulled. He clicked right as the sputum 
whizzed out of my peehole. 

I panicked. Scott wanted to show the 
pics to the partiers in the other room, | 
pleaded like a spineless wuss. Luckily, 
he bent to my request. In the other room, 
I let Mal know that I intended to destroy 
the evidence. He was looking at them at 
the time and told me no, he wouldn't 
give them up. He said it was hypocriti- 
cal of me to make money covering the 
to-do of the porn world, to sup at its 
table, to feast on its twat and then deny 
my participation. 

I admitted all the above. Of course, I 
also would have admitted to killing JFK, 
being an alien or rimming Barbara 
Bush—as long as I got those photos. Mal 
forked them over, and I ran to the bath- 
room. I lit them on fire and threw them 
into the bowl. I flushed, but like my self- 
loathing at the moment, they refused to 
disappear so easily. Mal slunk in and took 
a picture of the evil, floating Polaroids in 
the toilet. I wigged and went into the other 
room, then returned to the toilet with new 
resolve, Someone, no doubt to mock my 
weakness, my hypocrisy, had pissed. I 
dipped my shaking hand into the yellow 
water anyway and tore the photos into 
tiny, flushable bits. And that was that. 

The trip was within hours of being over, 
but my shame would last forever. While I 
respect those who toil in the flesh-mesh 
industry, I learned that I didn’t have the stom- 
ach for it. But I think Pll go back next year 
anyway. Like I said, the salami rolls filled 
with cream cheese were really good. @ 


HUSTLER AUGUST 


what has passed between me and my 
marks has started to weigh on me. It’s not 
conscience. It’s boredom. I’m tired of the 
pleading and the whining. I’m tired of 
feeling as though I should sympathize 
with this great, unwashed familyhood that 
we know as the human race. I’ve revealed 
myself to be part of the breed that sucks 
and fucks and would probably kill for 
money: sorry-assed, money-grubbing, 
hard-hearted pieces of shit. 

“Please don't hit me again....” And I 
hit him again anyway. | have him by the 
hair, and I swing his head like a ball on a 
string into the meat of my knee. 

He'd collapsed like a rag doll. Utter 
terror had burned the last drop of 
adrenaline. It was like bashing a dog or 
a helpless child. He's got the body of a 
40-year-old and the voice of a four-year- 
old child. 

“Fuck, please, stop. I didn't do nuthin’ 
to your shit, man! Why'nt you just leave 
me alone?” At least that’s what I think he 
says. With all of the blood and snot bub- 
bling out of his face, it’s hard to be sure. 
Spatters of goo from the source coat my 


fists. | don’t dare wipe ’em on my pants, 


which is my first thought. 1 yank open the 
bum's shirt. Wipe ‘em on his fresh T. 


THE SMOKERS CHANNEL 


INHALE ..1..2..3..4.. 
EXHALE... |..2..3..4.. 


FEEL THE BURN... | 


In 1992, I was a very different man 
than I had been a year earlier. 


FINAL CHAPTER 

The phone rang. Recognizing the voice 
on the message machine, I picked up. We 
had another job. We had the jobs; / did 
the work. The situation was explained. 
Somebody was getting mouthy, threaten- 
ing to let loose lips sink ships. I was to go 
over and deliver a message. 

“There's only one small thing though.” 
The voice was unusually serious. 

“It's a she.” 

“No, I’m not gonna do it.” I surprised 
myself. Here I was drawing a line. 

I used to have a friend who would have 
huge, often very physical fights with his 
girlfriend, after which they would fuck 
like crazy. He liked his sex, for want of a 
better word, rageful. And though I may 
have found violence sexy, I never mixed 
the two. I had no interest in trying. The 
voice on the phone said to beat her, not to 
fuck her, but the beatings had become so 
sexual, so intimate, that I feared an invita- 
tion to make my sex violent. So ended my 
career as a collections thug. Money is still 
desperately tight. I’m still as fucking 
crazy, angry and hateful as before. But— 
and read my lips—at least there is no 
suckface moral to my story. I didn’t learn 
a fucking thing from the entire experi- 
ence. Not a damned thing. @& 


101 


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ME i aie 


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In consideration of $250, | hereby give HUSTLER Magazine, 
its affiliates, successors and assigns, and those acting un- 
der its permission or upon its authority, full rights and ex- 
clusive permission in perpetuity to copyright and/or publish 
any photographs of myself with or without my name and to 
make any changes or any additions whatsoever to such pho- 
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Photo by Friend 


Caught in a rather compromising position, this is probably not the pose 25-year-old 
Tawni strikes when she models and dances professionally in Munster, Indiana. She 
lists a “generous appetite of sex” and nude sunbathing as her principle hobbies, 
and wishes to someday star in her own porn film after doing a layout for HUSTLER 
Magazine. Noble ambitions one and all. 


tion of this tan © 
the occupa «sins 


ald to be aerobi 
Beaver Hunt 


ns in Detroit, Mic 
ecessity than @ 


Tracy turns 22 in July. A student in Louisville, Kentucky, she gets stiff 
marks for her spread and enjoys waterskiing, golf and sunbathing. Her 
daredevil fantasy would be a hot fuck aboard a fast rollercoaster 

on a summer day. 


Photo by Friend 


ep In ber se h, has ever seen 
enjoys Working “ta na Carolina, store Regardless» Seen Jesse Helms 


trying 
20- 
efore giving him the wildest chia testy being spank weae man 


4 
45 
$ 


Happy birthday to Terry of Baltimore, 

any Maryland, who turns 30 this month. She 
lists no occupation, which leaves her 
plenty of time to draw and watch baseball. She 
yearns to be videotaped having hot sex in the woods with a 
well-hung man. Smokey says, “Beware of forest fires and pine 
needles up the ass.” 


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HUSTLER’s school of hard cocks takes a feel trip in September. The 
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FOSTER FREEZE 

Up to 69% of America’s prison population spent childhood time in 
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Nymphomaniac hooker Kathy Willets 
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