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JUNE 1991 


THE SHOCKING SEX RITES! 
SLAM i. ; 


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volume 17 number 12 


5 Bits & Pieces 
Funny, but Fucked-Up 
Edited by Christian Gore and John Berado 


TS Feedback 
Fucked-Up, but Funny 


17 Hot Letters 
Playing Post Orifice 


19 Erotic Entertainment 
Lewd, Crude Reviews 
Edited by Mal 0’Ree 


29D HWUSTLER’s Believe It or Beat Off 


Shocking Photos of Paranormal Perversity 


74 Naomi: Cuban Slide 
_ Centerfold Photography by Matti Klatt 


B4 HUSTLER Humor 
Edited by Susan Tinsley 


BG Good Girls vs. Bad Girls 


A Handbook for the Discerning Penis 
Guide by Alex Marvel 


O94 Tonyo ond Rosette: Panty Raid 
Photography by Matti Klatt 


105 Beaver Hunt 


Anyone You Know? 


Sex Play 
Self-Castration: A Cut Below 
by Adam Parfrey 


Letters From Desert Storm 
Red, White and Blueballed at the Front 


Chrissie: Blue Moon 
Photography by James Baes 


Islam Pussy: Blood and Sand 
Article by Cus Khazal 


Sondra and Scott: Rig Dig 
Photography by Clive McLean 


Bombmaker: The Short-Fused 
Dreams of a Puerto Rican Radical 
Profile by Roberto Santiago 


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FIRST ISSUE WILL ARRIVE IN 6 TO 8 WEEKS. WATCH FOR IT! 
OFFER EXPIRES JULY 16, 1991 CLSHC 


HUSTLER: 


LARRY FLYNT 
editor and publisher 


ALLAN MacDONELL 
executive editor 


JAMES BAES 
director of photography 


RONNIE DRAMA 


art director 


SUSAN TINSLEY 
humor and cartoon editor 


CHRISTIAN GORE, 
JOHN BERADO 
bits & pieces contributing editors 


MAL O'REE . 
entertainment editor 


TIM POWER 


associate editor 


DAVID S. MOSKOWITZ 


research director 


BRETT WILHOIT, copy editor 
CATRINA MASON, BETH MORALES, 
editorial assistants 


COMPUTER GRAPHICS 
DAVID BUCHANAN, network systems manager 
QUITA SAXON, LARRY GANNON, 
assistant managers 


PHOTOGRAPHY 
CLIVE McLEAN, senior photographer 
MATTI KLATT, LADI VON JANSKY, 
photographers 
MINETTE, talent coordinator 
KENNETH DeMARTINES, production designer 
BOBBIE KAMINSKI, photo administrator 
STEVE HOPKINS, studio administrator 
ROBERT HURWITZ, construction coordinator 


PRODUCTION 
GREGORY ROSATI, production coordinator 
BRIAN McGINNIS, production assistant 
TIM CONAWAY, editorial director 


ADVERTISING 
PAULA THORNTON, corporate advertising director, 
(213) 858-7100 
KEN TACCONI, West Coast sales manager 
MARTHA REQUENA, advertising production 
coordinator 


SUBSCRIPTIONS 
IRENE GRADSTEIN, subscriptions director 
For customer service, call (818) 760-8983 


The U.S. edition of HUSTLER (ISSN-0149-4635) is published monthly by HG 
Publications, Inc., 9171 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 300, Beverly Hills, CA 


90210. Copyright ® 1991. All rights reserved. Nothing may be reproduced in 
whole or in part without written permission of the publisher. Return 
postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, photos, etc., if they 
are to be returned, and HG Publications, Inc, assumes no responsibility for 
unsolicited material. Letters sent to HUSTLER will be treated as 
unconditionally assigned for publication and copyright purposes and as 
subject to HUSTLER’s right to edit and comment editorially. Any similarity 
between persons and places depicted in the fiction sections of this 
magazine and actual persons or places is purely coincidental. All photos 
posed by professional models except as otherwise noted. Neither said 
photos nor words used to describe them are meant to depict models’ 
actual conduct, statements or personalities, 


HUSTLER JUNE 1991 VOLUME 17 NUMBER 12 


Single copy, U.S, Edition $4.95, International Edition $5.95 (add $1 postage 
per copy), Special Edition $5.95. One-year subscription is $39.95. These 
prices represent HUSTLER’s standard rate and should not be confused 
with special subscription offers sometimes advertised. Change of 
address: Six weeks advance notice, and old address as well as the new 
are necessary, POSTMASTER: Send change of address to HUSTLER, P.0. 
Box 16568, North Hollywood, CA 91615. Second-class postage paid at 
Beverly Hills, CA, and additional mailing offices. Printed in USA. HUSTLER 
is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. The International 
Edition of HUSTLER is published monthly by LFZ, LTD., P.0. Box 1803, Grand 
Cayman, B.W.I., with permission of HG Publications, Inc, 


All nude models are 18 yoars of age or older. 
Cover photo by James Baes 


ASSHOLE OF THE. MONTH 


Opinions are like assholes in that 
everybody has one. The difference is 
that nobody has more than one ass- 
hole, whereas some people, such as 
excruciatingly earnest pop singer 
Sinéad (pronounced Shine-head) 
O'Connor, have so many opinions 
that they pick up a second ass- 
hole—in Sinéad’s case, HUSTLER 
Magazine's Asshole of the Month 
for June 1991. 

Probably the only woman ever 
described as “dumber than Linda 
Ronstadt,” O'Connor is best known 
for the gimmick of her shaved head. 
A talking sight gag, looking like a 
chemotherapied, bug-eyed, albino 
Mrs. Potato Head with a pair of gar- 
goyle ears skewered into her skull 
like baroque door-knockers destined 
to bang away eternally despite the 
fact that the lights are off and no- 
body is home, Sinéad needs all the 
assholes she can get. If she be- 
comes any more full of shit, the 
Irish-born, 24-year-old, manufac- 
tured celebrity will become indistin- 
guishable in hue from the brown- 
skinned national vegetable of her 
native land. 

Because her own brains seem to 
be alternately mashed, scalloped 
and french-fried, it seems an act of 
divine intervention that O'Connor 
had the forethought to title her 
number-one record album / Do Not 
Want What | Haven't Got, an apt 
summation of her relationship to 
mental capacity 

Perhaps if her sphincters were 
closed a little less tightly than her 
mind, O'Connor's backlog of crap 
would not have risen above her eye 


Sinéad O’Connor 


level. Filtering everything she sees 
through her murky, fecal-obscured 
perspective, O'Connor regurgitates 
an endless succession of rectal 
belches with the haughty, besieged 
air of one who is proclaiming deeply 
felt beliefs and principles, while es- 
tablishing herself as little more than 
an opportunist popping off flatulent 
sound bites. 

Sinéad, in one noxious butt 
breath, decries the censorship of 
the hate, violence and misogyny in 
the exploitative music of rappers 2 
Live Crew and N.W.A. In her next 
burst of bog gas, O'Connor lends 
her support to the censoring of the 
hate, violence and misogyny in the 
exploitative comedy of funny man 
Andrew Dice Clay 


The CEO of Blockbuster 
vaen, ype all biggest rental chain, 
takes a high moral ground with refusals to 
stock XXX ‘ise PEARL miae though iy 


O'Connor lets off a string of 
stinkers in regard to racism: 
Rappers, she vents as though she 
figured out this self-evident truth all 
by herself, are censored because 
they are black. Racism, to Sinéad, is 
so abhorrent that she has slighted 
the “Star-Spangled Banner” in 
protest of it. And yet, in her very 
next barrage of intestinal napalm, 
she dismisses Afro-American pop 
singer Prince, whose song “Nothing 
Compares 2 U" O'Connor rode to the 
top of U.S. charts, as being an envi- 
ous, violence-threatening bully who 
had squandered his financial securi- 
ty and was lucky to have Sinéad 
“save his ass.” Sinéad’s supremacist 
attitudes—also evident in her con- 
tinual slagging off of rival pop 


singers as bogus talents—allow 
her to exploit a black man’s labors, 
then turn around and denigrate his 
worth while perpetuating racial 
Stereotypes of berating defenseless 
women and mismanaging money. 
Sinéad’s colonial view of the black 
man has him being saved from his 
own excesses by the intervention of 
an enlightened white woman. 

Sinéad’s mustard-tinged attack 
upon barriers between the races 
is matched only by the cyanide 
traces in her efforts to heighten 
understanding between the sexes. 
“Men have no balls,” she fumes. “| 
haven't ever met a male that would 
be prepared to be as true to himself 
as a woman would be.” And then, 
from the other cheek, she bubbles: 
“The only time I've ever thought | 
should grow my hair is in order to 
get some man to fall madly in love 
with me.” How true, Sinéad, 2 U. 

In keeping with her commitment 
to flake and waffle, always with 
an accompanying press release, 
O'Connor conspicuously withdrew 
from the 1991 Grammy Awards 
show, after agreeing to appear and 
perform. Sinéad deplored “false, 
materialistic values” in the music in- 
dustry, which would be better off to 
follow her example of slipping a $20 
bill to a homeless stiff, with a 
Rolling Stone interviewer as witness. 

A voluntary resident of Los 
Angeles, California, a world capital 
of false, materialistic values, Sinéad 
lives high atop a Hollywood hill, 
away from everything she doesn’t 
want. There, she can enjoy her new 
Asshole—we even shaved it for her. 


HUSTLER JUNE 


1865 


ABE LINCOLN’S a PP, f 
LAST NIGHT OUT t ; A 
Old Abe wasn't sitting « , y 
next to his wife when vy f 
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1 963 JFK’S WAYWARD DRIVER 
Everyone has heard the second assassin 
theory, but what really killed JFK was his 
limo driver's wandering eye. 


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FLICK SOME HONEY AND VOTE! 


Vote for our Honey of the Year 


The first 100 voters will get our 1990 calendar for FREE! 
Virtually useless for keeping track of time, it’s filled with 
pictures of naked girls. What more do you want? The winning 
Honey will be featured in a new layout in HUSTLER. You can’t 
really lick any of our HUSTLER Honeys, but you can lick the 
stamp that goes on the envelope that you send your vote in! 
Fill in the box next to the Honey of your choice. Detach and 
mail to HUSTLER Honey of the Year, 9171 Wilshire 
Boulevard, Suite 300, Beverly Hills, CA 90210. 


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MONEY BACK ON ALL UNMAILED ISSUES. Make checks payable to HG Publications Inc. Foreign (including Canada) add $10 per year. You must be 18 years of age or older to order, All magazines shipped in unmarked sealed 
envelopes. Your first issue will arrive in 6 to 8 weeks. WATCH FOR IT! 


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I was disgusted to see such a biased 
account of life in the Krishna schools in 
HUSTLER Magazine (Krishna Kids: 
Battered in the Name of Godhead, 
February '91). I happen to be one of those 
“cult-razed” Krishna kids, and I know 
from personal experience that there were 
rough times, but all areas of society attract 
some weirdos, and ours was no exception. 
When a community in West Virginia went 
off the deep end and refused to reform, it 
was expelled from the International 
Society of Krishna Consciousness. Mis- 
treatment and malnutrition had nothing to 
do with practice of the religion. Certain 
twisted people abused the authority they 
were given. All true Krishnas were horri- 
fied when stories of child molestation 
reached our ears. We would all love to see 
those jerks get their asses kicked. As far as 
the movement goes, Krishna Conscious- 
ness still attracts a multitude of devoted 
followers worldwide. —R. F. 

Honolulu, Hawaii 


KNEEBJERKER 

Considering the sorry mental state of the 
HUSTLER editorial staff, I don’t know 
that P. G. from Croton Falls, New York, 
can be considered much of a “lamebrain” 
and an “ignorant fuck” for questioning the 
relevance of the national anthem (“Jew 
Bait? Why Bother!” Feedback, March 
91). The knee-jerk jingoist at HUSTLER 
told P. G. to look up American Revolution 
in a history book. That jerk-off should 
pull his own head from his crack and hit a 
history book himself! The flag Francis 
Scott Key saw unfurling by dawn’s early 
light carried 15 stars, representing the 
original 13 states plus Kentucky and 
Vermont. He wrote the national anthem 
on September 14, 1814, after a bombard- 
ment of Fort McHenry, Baltimore, during 
the War of 1812. Get the facts straight, 


HUSTLER JUNE 


limp-dick. The national anthem wasn’t 
around at the time of the American 
Revolution. As for the original controver- 
sy over whether or not Roseanne Barr is 
an asshole, of course she is. Who isn’t? As 
for HUSTLER being anti-Semitic, I knew 
that when I saw you trash Yassir Arafat. 
—B. M. 

San Francisco, California 


We never said the national anthem was 
written during the American Revolution. 
We merely implied that it embodied high- 
er principles of national pride than are 


found in Bryan Ferry’s “Slave to Love” 


or Madonna “Like a Virgin,” both listed 
by P. G. of Croton Falls as comparable 
alternatives to “The Star-Spangled Ban- 
ner.” If you're not with us on that, you can 


fuck off too, It’s not anti-Semitism that 


singles out Arafat. It’s ass-holism! 


Savannah: Up for Service 


AT LONG LAST LOVE 

The reason for this letter is to inform 
HUSTLER readers that there is a reputable 
X-rated video company where you can get 
good X-rated movies at a good price. I 
found them through the ads in HUSTLER 
about two years ago. Their name is VCA 
Pictures. They have hundreds of top-of- 
the-line movies. All of them are clear, first- 
run masters and recorded in the SP mode 
for better clarity. In the past two years, I’ve 
bought at least $500 worth of videos from 
VCA, and I am very happy with the prod- 
ucts I have received. I’ve been ripped off 
by other companies, who sent me tapes that 
resembled third-generation movies record- 
ed in the EP mode. Needless to say, I was 
disappointed, especially at $30 a tape. The 
prices at VCA Pictures are $10 (in bulk) to 
$50 per movie. Only once in two years 
have I had a mix-up with these people. I 
called their 800 number, and they solved 
the problem promptly. As far as I can tell, 
VCA Pictures is a reputable company. I 
highly recommend them to anyone inter- 
ested in ordering X-rated movies. 

I did not write this letter for any mone- 
tary gain. The only gain will be people 
receiving X-rated movies that they are 
totally happy with. —R. M. 

Cincinnati, Ohio 


PASS THE SOAP 


I’ve made love to your Honeys in many 
different countries for many years. So 


13 


THE 900 CONNECTION 


THE ULTIMATE IN HOT 
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3 GREAT WAYS TO MEET 
SEXY GIRLS 


INCREDIBLE REAL-LIFE 
CONFESSIONS 


when they give their support for our boys 
in the Middle East, I naturally feel jealous 
(Savannah: Up for Service, February 91). 
What about our boys back home? Don’t 
we deserve some of that sweet honeypot 
too? I’m referring to the Marines who took 
a stand to refuse to fight a senseless war. 
Marines that decided to live for our coun- 
try. Confined by the consequences of 
unauthorized leave, desertion, treason and 
no pussy, we too would like some support 
for our cause. We too would like to receive 
some hot, steamy, smelly letters from 
some of you liberal, horny women. We 
know that there are about 400,000 wives 
out there whose cunts have been smoking 
for more than six months. We want you. 
While your husbands are dying in some 
foreign land, let us be your men. Tell your 
daughters to send their letters too, because 
after the draft, their men will be dead too. 
Ladies, thanks for your support! —-K. H. 

Fort Leavenworth, Kansas 


CULTURE SHOCK 
I am a 41-year-old married man, and I’ve 
been devoted to HUSTLER Magazine for 
11 years. I’ve never filed a complaint 
before, but I believe this time I must really 
point out the unfair printing of Pussy 
Watch in your January 1991 HUSTLER 
International issue (Jom and Terri: Pussy 
Watch, January ’91). I am enclosing a 
portion of the layout, in which a fairly 
large amount of black ink has covered the 
only real close-up of Terri’s genitals. The 
part where Terri’s giving Tom head, you 
covered completely, leaving us, the read- 
ers, guessing what happened to this 
issue’s guy/girl section. I’m not angry, 
and I don’t believe in hostile epithets, but 
I am deeply sad, because I do like the 
January ’91 issue, except for this terrible 
mistake in printing, It is very unfair to 
tease us, leaving us guessing what Tom 
and Terri really look like. Anyway, I'll 
stick to HUSTLER till the day I die, 
when I want my magazine collection 
incinerated with me and the ashes scat- 
tered over the Pacific Ocean. —O.L. 
Vancouver, British Columbia 


Too bad you aren't angry, O. L. You 
should be. The inkblots fouling the pages 
of your January 1991 HUSTLER Inter- 
national issue were put there by your own 
government, not us. It’s nice to be remind- 
ed that, while we in the United States fight 
tooth and nail to preserve our civil rights, 
at least we've got a Bill of Rights to lead 
the way. Thanks for writing. 


TEN-HUT! 


By God and country, some people assume 
that they can damn well strip Americans 


HUSTLER JUNE 


of their legal, Constitutional rights! By 
God, they’re fooling themselves, because 
Americans do not sacrifice their human 
dignity for any price! HUSTLER, your 
magazine screws with my mind and 
assumes it can rip away the intelligence of 
others. Yet I believe you only strengthen 
the determination of myself and other 
people! I piss on your attempts to take 
over my mind—the mental life of another 
person, another American! By God and 
country, America will survive forever! 
Love ya! —J.H. 

Little Rock, Arkansas 


That's a big ten-four, J. H.! See ya in the 
funny papers! 


GIRL TALK 

As per your suggestion, I would love to 
write horny notes to our men overseas 
(“Any Ladies in the House?” Feedback, 
March ’91). But I don’t need to get some 
wrong address that will mean moral lec- 
tures and judgments. I have totally had 
my fill of it from both sides. I’m either a 
slut, a whore, a goody-two-shoes or an 
angel, depending on whom I’m with. But 
I’m not any one of those things. I’m just a 
woman who loves men. I love God spiri- 
tually, and I know he loves me. I love men 


So taeccee- . 
: ° 


physically, and I know they love me. It 
would be nice to marry all the guys I’m 
with. Can I help it if I love all the guys that 
are good to me and my body? I’ve loved 
men for as long as I can remember. I don’t 
charge money for a sex act, nor do I 
expect any gifts. Guys call me honey 
*cause I do the nice things they want, but I 
can turn on them if I feel threatened or if 
PMS strikes, and I can kick ass if needed. 
I’ve never had trouble getting a guy to lay 
me. The last thing I need is some Army 
official returning my mail, as if the letters 
of a slut aren’t good enough for his men. 
—D.E. 

Oshkosh, Wisconsin 


D. E., we dont think you've got a thing to 
worry about, Send as many letters as you 
can turn out. If you get any one of those 
letters returned, send ‘em on to us. It’s 
getting more like a battlefront here at 
HUSTLER every day. 


Do you have a comment, suggestion or 
complaint? We want to hear it. Send your 
letters (typed or neatly handwritten) to 

, HUSTLER, 9171 Wilshire 
Boulevard, Suite 300, Beverly Hills, CA 
90210. Include a phone number if you want 
your letter considered for publication. 4 


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I’m a 25-year-old editorial assistant from 
Boston, Massachusetts. I had just broken 
off the fourth of a series of disastrous rela- 
tionships with younger men and was look- 
ing for a change. As soon as they get me in 
the sack, every one of my young boy- 
friends figures that I'll pay their bills. Let 
me tell you, I haven’t found the fucking of 
any 21-year-old so good that it’s worth 
paying for his car insurance. I barely made 
enough dough to cover my own ass. I need- 
ed a relationship with a man who was will- 
ing to carry his share of the load. 

I thought of meeting a rich, older man 
who would appreciate fucking a younger 
woman once or twice a week and maybe 
pick up some bills out of gratitude. No way 
did I ever think I'd hook up with a man old 
enough to be my grandfather— let alone 
fall in love with him. 

I'd taken a job as a copywriter for a large 
advertising agency and had just met a few 
workmates when the personnel director 
told me, “Just one more man to meet. The 
old man.” 

He meant, of course, the president of the 
company. I was ushered into his office. I’d 
never seen a man whose intelligence so 
dominated a situation. He was old, all 
right, and shriveled, but his eyes were clear 
as flame. I felt his piercing gaze right 
through my blouse, right to the amber nip- 
ples poking out against my bra. “Welcome 
aboard, Norma,” he told me gently, and I 
had the distinct impression that the saluta- 
tion was personal as well as professional. 

The personnel director told me the old 
man was 75 years old. The information 
made no sense to me. I had never met a guy 
so vibrant, so appealing. I couldn’t get him 
out of my mind. Every time I thought of 
him, my pussy got warm and moist. 
Norma! \ told myself. This man is 50 years 
older than you. Your pussy s drooling like a 
16-year-old 5! 

Each time I met the old man in the hall 
or elevator, I got the same feeling I’d had in 
his office—that he was mentally undress- 


HUSTLER JUNE 


ing me. I wondered if imaginary fucks 
were all he was capable of at his age, or if 
there was life left inside his dignified 
black-wool slacks. 

One morning, his secretary, Rose, set a 
note on my desk. The old man wanted to 
see me in his office at five sharp. I was 
there on the dot. 

“Go on in,” said Rose. “He’s expect- 
ing you.” 

He sat alone at his desk like a majestic 
lion beside a fresh kill. He stood up as I 
entered the room. I thought for sure I saw 


the outline of his cock against his pants. 
“Walk with me. I'd like to show you some- 
thing,” he murmured. 

We walked out of the building together 
and traveled a couple of blocks to a luxury 
condominium in the area. I felt like a 
teenager beside his aged frame. The swish 
of my pantyhose against my thighs 
brought a flush of heat to my cunt. He 
stopped at a door, unlocked it and 
motioned me into the most beautiful apart- 
ment I'd ever seen. 

“Pardon me,” said the old man quietly, 
“but I happen to know you’ve been looking 
for housing. This apartment is available 
now, and it’s yours, if you want it.” When I 
protested that I could never afford such a 


place, he told me the rent would be fixed to 
my budget. His voice dropped a register, 
and he confessed that I reminded him of 
someone special long ago. “I just want to 
help you, somehow,” he said, and I melted 
on the spot. He didn’t expect a goddamn 
thing from me. I held his hand and pressed 
it against my heart, then hugged him 
impulsively. Without thinking, I raised my 
lips to his. I was surprised by the ardor that 
slowly replaced his hesitancy. I felt his 
wrinkled lips part. He slipped his old 
tongue in my mouth. His breath smelled 
like mint and medicine. His gnarled hands 
went to my breasts and gently stroked 
them. My groin stirred, truly excited. I 
pushed my itchy crotch against his groin. 

“No,” he said, pulling away. “I didn’t 
mean to make you....” I put my hand over 
his mouth. “I want to,” I told him. “I want 
to, now.” I stripped off my suit and let it 
fall to the carpet. He was soon as naked 
as I. My hand went for his ancient cock, 
which was swollen and half-hard. I cupped 
my hands around his loose sac and gently 
squeezed his hanging balls, then pressed 
my bare breasts to his bony chest, wrap- 
ping my fingers around his dangling tool. 
“I'd forgotten how good a woman feels,” 
he whispered. 

We fell to the floor. He buried his face 
between my tits and ran his tongue around 
each nipple before sucking it inside. He 
kissed his way down my belly until his lips 
brushed my pubic hairs. He spread my 
pussy lips with his fingers. “The most 
beautiful sight in the world,” he murmured, 
“like the petals of a flower.” He ran his 
tongue around my cunt lips before sinking 
his tongue deep inside, keeping me on the 
verge of orgasm for what seemed like 
hours. Finally, I came, gushing like a 
geyser, and still he kept licking and suck- 
ing, driving me on to unbearable pleasure. 

When at last I was a sopping, spent 
wreck, he drew away. His rod was no hard- 
er than it had been when I first saw it. It 
dawned on me that he couldn’t get it up. 
But, from his reaction, there was still plen- 
ty of feeling in it. I took the flaccid member 

(continued on page 27) 


17 


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EDITED BY MAL O’REE SoG 


[3 rHe MASSEUSE 


Fully Erect. Directed by Poul Thomas; storring Randy Spears, Hyapatia Lee, Danielle Rogers and 
Viper. Videocassette: Vivid. 


All of director Poul Thomas's failures led him to The Masseuse, the story of a timid male virgin’s 
obsession with a voluptuous massage-parlor girl. Having leamed from the past, Thomas’s usual 
pretensions don’t get in the way of a simple, straightforward plot that strokes brain cells as 
smoothly as Hyapatia Lee oils up Randy Spears’s rod. Only Lee and Spears have sex—leaving 
Danielle Rogers to fawn over Spears from afar and Viper to display some surprisingly good 
octing—but the lack of wall-to-wall flesh doesn’t dampen the heat generated by two characters 
desperate to escape their own self-made prisons. In a mind-fuck that’s as intriguing as it is 
unconventional, Lee, still beautiful ofter all that fucking, proves she’s as comfortable with dialogue 
in her mouth as she is with dick, and Spears, the industry's best actor, shows a range porn studs 
aren't supposed to have. The Masseuse rubs you the right way. —Mal 0’Ree 


Spears oils up his obsession. 


HUSTLER JUNE 


Ps aa of ne at the last Resort. 


Three-Quarters Erect. Directed by Wesley Emerson; starring 
Randy West, Ashlyn Gere, Joey Silvera, Peter North, Selena Steele, 
Madison, Marc Wallice, Jamie Gillis, Lauren Hall, Randy Spears, 
Michelle Monroe, Rayne and Tom Byron. Videocassette: VCA. 


Director Wesley Emerson shows good sense from the beginning. 
The tape opens with a close-up of a blowjob on Randy West, who 
spews his stew before the opening credits. Then, a comely cast of 
luscious lasses, who suck like Hoovers, fuck like hellcats and 
deftly deliver dialogue, infuse humor and fun into a beautifully 
simple, unobtrusive plot. Pro comerawork ond sound, and almost- 
flawless editing, negate the ill effects of a serious lull between 
screw #1 and #2. Escape from the doldrums of smut; get 
reservations at The Last Resort. — Woody Hood 


20 


Holf Erect. Directed by William Black; starring Cameo, Cal Jammer, Randy West, Paulina Peters 
(a/k/a Zara Whites), Bionca, Wayne Summers, Bridgette Monroe, Rocco Stiffredi and Gidget. 
Videocassette: Coast to Coast. 

One or two minor adjustments would have earned Nation a higher rating. Filled with heinie 
humping (five, in fact), a fulton, cum-on-the-tongue facial and the spellbinding sight of two stiff 
pricks sticking it to Cameo’s shapely, slim trim, Anal is way above average in erotic amperage. The 
main problems are the distracting soundtrack and bad acting (easily cured by turning down the 
sound), and the ephemeral nature of the back-forty plowings (not so easily cured). Some of the 
back-door bonings are so brief, and the foreplay so long, that a blinker might miss the main course. 
But pay attention, and this is one Nation for which dicks will stand. —WeH. 


One-Quarter Erect. Directed by Tommy Jackson; starring Samantha Strong, Taija Rae, Jamie 
Summers, Careena Collins, Nina De Ponca, Carol Cummings and Debi Diamond. Videocassette: 
Western Visuals. 


For a tape packed with dickless fuckers, Us 3 ain’t all bad. Provided, of course, the viewer is into 
snatch-to-snatch nonsense. All the scenes have been clipped from various Wester Visuals titles and 
tossed together like clothes in a K-mart bargain bin. Some of the clips are hot; most aren’t. The pussy- 
fease by Taija Rae and Samantha Strong in the backseat of a limo is slightly salivating, and the ending 
gast-bash, complete with a crystal see-through dildo, creates a minor burst of lesbian heat. This tape 
provides excellent support for the contention that ladies-only tapes ore an insipid waste. — Rusty Knox 


One-Quarter Erect. Directed by Michael Craig: storing Lauren Hall, Sharon Kane, Kelly Royce, Lynn 
LeMay, Suzi Bartlett, Renee Summers, Randy West, Mike Horner and Jon Dough. Videocassette: 
Las Vegas Video. 

Forced Love is a word-heavy foray into the soporific realm of premarital fidelity. Randy West is 
cloyingly sincere os a big-time TV star whose impending marriage puts his pussy-poking days 
behind him. Leggy Lauren Hall administers Shiatsu dick-therapy to Jon Dough; Mike Horner (in a 
fox suit) mounts Shoron Kane; Suzi Bortlett seduces Dough (dressed in a chicken suit); West 
eventually succumbs to a joint blowjob by Hall and Kane; Kelly Royce milks a load from Horner's 
love-udder. Forced Love isn’t hot—but it should be. — Buster Slade 


Three-Quarters Erect. Directed by Bruce Seven; starring Bionca, Tianna, Porsche Lynn, 
Charisma, Randy West, Peter North and Joey Silvera. Videocassette: Coast to Coast. 


Even though the story is stupid and 
the starring bimbos ain't gonna win 
any beauty contests, Corruption 
scores high on the hard-on chart. 
Why? Because four of the six screws 
are smokin’! Facials, fine photog- 
raphy and horny starlets keep the 
viewer on edge. Director Bruce 
Seven knows what heats a peter: 
ass-Slapping, nipple-pinching, and 
anal-probing ginches on a sperm- 
spattering spree. Turn down the 
sound and get corrupted. — W. H. 


Corruption scores high on the hard-on chart. 


JUNE HUSTLER 


Half Erect. Directed by Michael Carpenter; starring Kim Alexis, Paula Price, Bionca, Jeanna Fine, 


Nikki Wilde, Chessie Moore, T. T. Boy, Marc Wallice, Eric Price, Don Fernando and Michael J 


Morrison. Videocassette: Coast to Coast. 


Voter apathy is today’s gravest threat to democracy, but if little Kim Alexis’s butt were placed in 
selected polling places, the great disenfranchised majority would rear its empurpled head, stand 
stiff ond line up to cast a hot, wet ballot. Most would wont to cast ot least twice. Alexis, as a 
political activist who puts her mouth and both holes of her hairy lust trench into a campaign effort, 
gives the prurient voter plenty of chances to shoot the bolt in Intruder 5. Kim opens by sucking up 
0 dollop of T. T. Boy’s dick slop, moves along to exchange penetrating views with Jeanna Fine, 
Bionca and a selection of dildos, and finishes her stumping with o triple filling and semer-spilling 
from Boy, Marc Wallice and Don Fernando. With support buttwrenching from Chessie Moore, Paula 
Price and Nikki Wilde, Anal Intruder 5 should get the lever pulled. — Christian Shapiro 


One-Quarter Erect. Directed by Chi Chi LaRue; starring Jeanna Fine, Randy Spears, Jon Dough, 
Madison, Patricia Kennedy and Sikki Nixx. Videocassette: Soho Video. 

Costing pom stars as college kids is an insult to intelligence, placing 0 severe strain on the viewer's 
broin. Such a strain could be overlooked if the sex produced as powerful o pull on the crotch. It 
doesn’t. Extended male masturbation scenes, corny, kinky shoe-etish footage ond unerotically erratic 
editing pulverize the few instances of promising passion. A limited, not overly attractive cast of 
cockettes doesn’t help, especially when even the easiest of plots is poorly done and the soundtrack 
sounds like Muzak from hell. Now that you've been educated, ditch School. —W.H. 


One-Quarter Erect. Directed by Henri Pachard: starring Peter North, Joey Silvera, Jon Dough, 
Sabrina, Ashley Dunn and Patricia Kennedy. Videocassette: Soho Video. 

What could be worse than shrinks who fuck their patients and whores who psychoanalyze their 
tricks? Watching a video of it, especially video that fails to lampoon its clichéd topic and takes 
itself much too seriously. The cast is not up to delivering subtle psychological portrayals; yet 
precious time is wosted on plot instead of porking. The camerawork and music are excellent, but 
the bone-deflating editing and lack of variety, beauty and voluptuousness harlotwise make Secret 
not worth knowing. —W.H. 


iN 


Fully Obese. Directed by Loretta Sterling; starring Teighlor, Unique Love, Cindi Adams, Lindo Lou, 
Whitney Volentine, Rod Burrito, Eric Edwards, Jeff Golden, T. I. Boy, Big Ed and Ray Victory. 
Videocassette: Filmco. 


Big-budget Hollywood horror films have speciateffects geniuses 
who concoct monstrous creatures that both repel and fascinate 
on audience always hungry for some apparition weirder, freakier 
and scarier than last week's figment. Porn films have no such 
budget or genius, but their viewers have an even greater 
appetite for aberration, o taste guaranteed to be satisfied — 
perhaps oversatisfiel—by the naked Teighlor. While Fat Lane 2 
lives up to its title, with the four supporting chubs weighing in 
from fat to corpulent in their five flab-stabbing fucks, phrases 
such as suet-sack, cellulite-heap and cascading terraces of 
blubber do not begin to describe the grotesque bacon seen here. 
Go ahead, sneak a peak. Now try to look away. —CS. 


Get off in the Fat lane. 


HUSTLER JUNE 


Intruder should get the lever pulled. 


he 


Finer could have been better. 


Half Erect. Directed by Bruce Seven; storring Jeanna Fine, Bionca, 
Madison, Raven, Lois Ayres and Sharon Kane. Videocassette: Inhand 
Video. 

Startling visual images highlight this tope. The music and dialogue 
annoy, but the string of saliva from Fine’s tongue to Kane's cunt 
makes up for it. Madison digging her silver spurs into Bionca’s back 
and Lois Ayres’s crack, some playful bondage and plenty of energetic 
tongues and fingers also redeem the director for the sixway finale 
that doesn’t climax and the predictable nature of most of the gir-gir 
pussy-probings. With some man-meat and additional heat, Finer 
could have been better. —WH. 


21 


A the recent Consumer Electronics 


Show in Las Vegas, reigning sex queen 
Madison celebrated her 26th birthday 
with a coke and a whipping from 
master kinkster Bruce Seven, who 
gleefully added a few extra strokes 
for luck. Meanwhile, Delta Force 

declined a piece of cake and 
went for Holly Ryder’s tasty morsel: 
a clit the size of Baltimore. 


Half Erect. Directed by Scotty Fox; storing Raven Richards, Paula Price, Kim Alexis, Lauren Brice, Eric 
Price, Randy Spears and Tom Byron. Videocassette: Moonlight. 

Even women who enjoy sex sometimes balk at certain acts of male fulfillment. Rare is the raunchette who 
con take a blast of ball juice straight in the kisser without flinching, or at least curling her lips back in an 
involuntary grimace of distaste. Perhaps this intrinsic reluctance on the femole’s part to splash her teeth with 
spoot accounts for the male's recurring fascination that she do so. The primal urges to dominate women ond 
vondolize their lipstick are exploited by A Shot in the Mouth. The first orgasm delivers a direct Eric Price wod- 
dump in the willingly widespread face hole of bump-butt brunette Paula Price, a messy geyser of goop that 
she tucks in her lip and sucks against her teeth like a wad of thick, white chaw. Spears unloads on Lauren 
Brice, but his aim falters, striking chin and lower. Kim Alexis diverts a spuzz stream to her cheeks, and Tom 
Byron spills his jizz on a hairy crotch. Shot is hardly a tour de face. —CS. 


Fully Erect. Directed by John Stogliano; starring Julianne James, Joey Silvera, Angela Summers, 
Patricia Kennedy, Tamara Lee, Champagne, Randy West, Candice, Jeanna Fine, Sean Michaels, K. C. 
Williams, Christie Keith, John Stagliano and T. T. Boy. 
Videocassette: Evil Angel Video. 

Not everyone appreciates 0 good slut the way John Stagliano 
does, but we sure do. Stogliano thinks with more than his 
dick—he also uses his tongue, his nose, his hands and his 
comero. His entire physical being, and probably his soul too, 
is focused on twisting, tuming, penetrating ond anointing the 
female form and face to show off distaff depravity in all its 
most male-arousing facets. Some porn directors have a 
recurring fetish, or two; Stagliano has every carnal com 
pulsion known to heterosexual man, and he unleashes them 
all. Retumee cream dreams Julianne James ond Jeanna Fine 
S) live up to John’s vision of what o lady should be, as do the 
several supporting cum-sucking tramps of Goose Chase, a 
shotonfilm, funfilth extravaganza of plot, humor, acting and 
some of every man’s perv vision. —CS. 


One-Quarter Erect. Directed by Henri Pachard; starring 
Racquel Darrien, Alex Storm, Tiffany, Derrick Lone, Jerry Butler, 
Chessie Moore and Rick Savage. Videocassette: Cinderella. 

A bettertooking cast, a better story, better acting, better music 
and better fucking would have made a better video. It doesn’t 
toke a rocket scientist to figure out that director Henri Pachard just 
doesn’t give a fuck. Racquel Darrien should screw some other 
guys besides Derrick Lane. She’s the hottest twat in the tape, but 
Moore gets the most fucks. Big-tit fans will dig Chessie, but it’s 0 
shome Butler and Savage don’t sample the leading lady‘s bronze 
beauty. Only two sex scenes feature Racquel, one with Moore and 
one with Lone; she remains too tame. —WH. 


Even with Moore’s depravity, Racquel is too tome. 


JUNE HUSTLER 


SR LR 

Hae Pal {- Ls 
SmEWIA 

After being approached ™ director Paul Thomas, Jennifer 
Stewart took five months to decide to jump into the hard- 
core playground. “| used to turn my nose up at bikini 
contests,” Stewart says. In the end, the prospect of big bucks 
overrode any snooty attitude. “I was going to college full 
time and working three jobs,” she explains. “The possibility 
of making money, going through the embarrassment for a 
little while, is worth it in the long run.” Stewart is close to a 
degree in business management, with an eye toward a 
coreer as financial planner, but it wasn’t just money that 
put this 22-year-old Southern California native in X. As she 
admits: “I've never met a dick | didn’t like.” Stewart, a 
contract player with Vivid Video, can be seen in The Swap, 
Lifeguard, Passages, No Time for Love, Torrid Without o 
Cause 2 and Designer Genes 


Half Erect. Directed by Scotty Fox; starring Danielle Rogers, Rondy Spears, 
Bridgette Monroe, Rayne, Krisstarah Knight, Jon Dough and Chris Douglas. 
Videocassette: Legend Video. 


if crank-em-out crud director Scotty Fox ever has an original thought, 
he'll probably never think again. In Sweet Miss Fortune, Fox takes the art 
of ripoffs to a new low, bypassing the fields of legitimate films or TV to 
steal an opening scene from Paul Thomas's Brat pictures. Jon Dough fills 
in as Tom Byron, ineffectually licking the pussy of impassive Danielle 
Rogers as she dispassionately files her nails and pretends to be the Jamie 
Summers Brat character. Breaking with the established convention, Rogers 
actually licks Dough ond lets him dick her; she closes out the tape, a 
regenerated jezebel, by unveiling her renovated tits and taking o quick dip 
from studly Chris Douglas. Dough has o wad-fling with ducky Krisstarah 
Knight, after she’s lipped a brunet frill’s labes, and Randy Spears drives 
his point home in Danielle’s best friend’s honey burrow, the sweetest 
boning of hit-and-miss Fortune. —C.S. 


Half Erect. Directed by Michael Craig; starring Rayne, Kelly Royce, Dusty, Raven, 
Tom Byron, Rick Savage and Buster Cheri. Videocassette: Las Vegas Video. 


Young, honey-blond, taut-bodied, bone-baiting broads with soft, smooth basketball 
buns and natural, passionfruit titties exude a magnetic sensual appeal that is as 
close to being universal as any physical type needs to get. Every porn tape should 
hove at least one, ond The Girl does. Every skeeve in this farcical, office-romance 
fuck flick wants into her syrup center. The guy in the mailroom wants to goop her, 
and does. The boss wonts her to tongue-buff his horny helmet, and he gets what 
he wants. The balls-out female execs want their share of sunny-blond slit, and 
their fongues and twats are treated to a taste. So what went wrong? Who knows, 


but The Gir is ultimately dull, despite her assets. =O. The girl has Assets, but she doesn’t use them. 


HUSTLER JUNE 23 


Half Erect. Directed by Scotty Fox; 
storing Danielle Rogers, Devon Shire, 


Sunny McKay, Tom Byron, Tiara and Marc 
Wallice. Videocassette: Night Time Video. 


Hollywood has the star vehicle, a flick 
corried by one amazingly talented star. 
Pornowood also has star vehicles. Heart to 
Heart is one, with Danielle Rogers being 
the designated driver. Dimpled, doe-eyed 
and dome-boobed, Rogers plays a radio 
talk-show host who's not getting along with 
her on-air husband, Randy Spears. Her 
solution? Rogers convinces production 
assistant Tom Byron to bury his nose in her 
snatch before ramming his pork into same 
shaved quim. Spears’s answer? He eats 
Sunny McKay's imported Aussie beaver, 
then bangs her hard on the same couch 
where his wife just fucked Byron! Dramatic 
irony! Wow! Add to this thespionfest o 
lesbo encounter between Tioro and Rogers, 
as well as Marc Wallice’s usual jackhammer 
fuck-technique, and take another predict- 
able jaunt into the sctewed-up libidos of 
rodio talk-show hosts. — Jody Davis 


Fully Erect 

Curse of the Cat Woman 
Shadow Dancers 2 
Where the Girls Sweat 


Three-Quarters Erect. Directed by Bruce Seven; staring Co See, Alexis Paine, Jamie Lee, April Rayne, Lynden Gray, 


Edward Powers and Roscoe Bowltree. Videocassette: Bruce Seven Productions. 


The Face of Fear is primarily the face of a whipped ass, and to a lesser extent clamped nipples, leather-and-hain harness 
restraints, slapped titties, strap-on mouth gags, creative applications of rope and celHdoor bars, multiple-thong whips and an 
orgy of rump-obliterating, boob-covering, pussy-coating, hotdripped candle wax. And then there are the sounds: the snaps and 
slaps of the whips and punishing hands, the domineering commands of masters and mistresses to humbly responding slaves, 
and the groans, moans and mewlings of  crimson-cheeked Co See. The only really scary port is the bondage of Edward 


Powers, but the tape cuts short while his shorts are still in place, just this side of true Fear. 


FULLY ERECT 
Superior, A top production, 


io THREE-QUARTERS ERECT 
Above overoge. Hardon material, 


Standard fore. Has moments. 
ONE-QUARTER ERECT 


Poor. Don’t expect much. 
TOTALLY LIMP 


Three-Quarters Erect 


A Portrait of Christy 
Club Head 


The Landlady 


Lusty Dusty 

The Mistress 2 

More Dirty Debutantes 4 
Secrets 


Sleepwalker 
Vegas 3: Let It Ride 


Half Erect 
The Big Tease 
House of Dreams 
Nasty Girls 2 
Legend 2 

Lover’s Trance 
Nightdreams 2 
Power Play 
Ringside Knockout 
Sea of Love 

Thrill Seekers 
Triple Header 
Vegas 2: Snake Eyes 


—CS 


One-Quarter Erect 


Anal Addiction 2 

Backdoor Lambada 

Beauty and the Beast 2 

Black in the Saddle 

Camera Shy 

Denim Dolls 

Hot Diggity Dog 

Jailhouse Blues 

Moongirls 

National Poontang’s Sex 
Vacation 

Paradise Road 

Sunstroke Beach 

Torrid Without a Cause 


Totally Limp 


L.A. Stories 
Bi-Bi European Style 


JUNE HUSTLER 


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DEPT. FVA12 
Sirs ihave enclosed my check M0 Visa MC. information. Please rush me the 4 
videos under a 30-DAY MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE (CT res. add sales tax ) 
: Available from Ultra Corp. 4944 Decarie Blvd. CP305 Montreal 
Que H3X 376 please add 35% (includes GST) plus $4.00M & H to prices shown 
Allorders shipped duty-free from within Canada (Que Residents add 9% sales tax) 
+ | declare that | am an adult, 21 years of age or over (19 years of age or over for 
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will not sell the material or furnish it to minors 


Signature __ NOTE AVAILABLE IN 
Mr Mrs. MissMs — VHS ONLY 
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PE sets Mee Sete cS Sie e RETO 


MISTRESS TANYA 


COMMANDS YOUR LUST 


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enough, he moaned and filled my mouth 
with hot, ageless cum. 

That was the beginning of the most pre- 
cious time of my life. | wouldn’t trade my 


old man for all the boys in China. —N. E. 
Boston, Massachusetts 


ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME 


Nothing gets me hotter than smelling 
pussy. Because of my aromatic fixation, 
I’ve developed a real thing for women’s 
panties. 

When I hold a woman’s dirty panties to 
my face like an oxygen mask, deeply 
breathing in the heady aroma from the 
sweet cotton folds of the crotch, letting my 
senses fill with the dank perfume, I bust 
straight into sexual nirvana. 

The first time I went to bed with my 
current lover, Pamela, I pulled her jeans 
off, but left her panties on her hips. I lay 
between her shapely legs and pressed my 
nose against the crotch of her cotton 
panties. I ate her pussy through the folds of 
panty fabric. Because her panties covered 
her pussy, I was able to eat her much more 
roughly than I would normally be able to 
do. I gnawed on her pussy lips through the 
cotton shield, which drove her absolutely 
wild. The juices that rolled out of her 
pussy made the crotch of her panties 
wringing wet. When I inhaled the musky 
odor of the fresh, soggy snatch, my cock 
nearly erupted. 

I pulled her dew-laden panties off and 
held them to my face, taking long, deep 
breaths, letting her pungent aroma fill my 
senses, until her musk was firmly embed- 
ded in my memory bank. While I breathed 
her feminine fragrance, Pamela pulled 
my clothes off. However, she left my 
undershorts on and gobbled my cock 
through my underwear! She did exactly to 
me what I did to her! She used her 
teeth—an absolute taboo without the pro- 
tective cotton lining—biting my bone 
through the fabric of my jockey shorts, and 
it felt exquisite. 

Then Pamela pulled my jockeys off 
and lay back with her legs spread. I 
took her panties off my nose and 
rubbed them between her legs, through 
her glistening labia, over her inflamed 
pussy, giving her a cotton variation of 
the infamous Silken Saddle, until the 
fabric inflamed her fuck nerves, getting 
her off with her own underwear. 


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in my mouth and sucked until, sur 


Prelate berate ath ot tubtashond Ail Rg ssi 

Her powerful poontang odor wafted 
straight up my nostrils as I rubbed her 
panties hard and fast across her slippery 
slit, and her pussy beamed beet red. She 
writhed ecstatically on the bed, thrusting 
up against the rough fabric crossing her 
labia, totally lost to soaring passion. Her 
beautiful body tensed. Her face knotted in 
orgasmic exertion. Her soft breasts shook 
with pre-orgasmic tension. She grunted 
through gritted teeth, and then her torso 
thrashed wildly from side to side several 
times in rapid-fired succession as a searing 
orgasm tore through her body with the 
force of an earthquake. Pamela came her 
tits off, and then her body relaxed, and she 
smiled radiantly. 

She watched, her smile intensifying, as I 
pulled her panties away from her pussy and 
held the dew-soaked crotch to my face, 
feeling her scent excite my entire body 
with electric jolts of pure passion. My cock 
twitched excitedly. Pamela pulled her 
panties from my nose and draped them 
over my cock. She went down on me, giv- 
ing me fervent head through her panties. 
The moisture of her panties felt cool on my 


cock head, and Pamela used plenty of tooth 
action to get me off. I fired my rocks and 
soaked the thin cotton, putting a huge wet 
spot on them, and Pamela sucked my 
spunk through the fabric of her panties. 

When she finally tossed her panties 
aside, I was still rock solid. She pulled me 
on top of her, and my still-rigid cock 
slipped easily inside her steaming hole. 
Her cunt squeaked with excess moisture. 
Her sensational scent was still on my nose. 
Every breath I drew was tinged with 
Pamela’s pussy aroma. Each time that 
smell registered, a wild, erotic chill raced 
up and down my spine. 

Our bodies seemed to be totally in sync. 
Just after I fired my second round of blaz- 
ing goo, Pamela’s highly responsive body 
lapsed into another orgasm. It shook her to 
the bone and left her breathless, and we 
hugged tightly. I knew I had met my sexual 
soul mate, a woman as kinky as me. 

Since that first time, Pam always wears 
dirty panties, and I always eat her to 
orgasm with her panties covering her 
pussy. When I pull her juice-laden panties 
off and hold them to my face, my soul 
becomes electrified. K. 


Youngstown, Ohio 


Send your sexperiences to HUSTLER Hot 
Letters, 9171 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 
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27 


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ial 


pac 


{ : [ ay [7] f | | | B [" = (} Z F ky a 
WA? Ne fT | | | | & | I ~~ & \\ Pa 8 
en 2 ww as \ VM, a | \ \ as ) ay ei 
Se ee » & \ u \ 


Setinge but true facts 

that will astound or arouse. 

Do you believe it? (Or would you 
rather just beat off?) 


. MM... first attempt at 
| sexually explicit material 
| proved to be a failure as 

evidenced by this stone 
, centerfold dating back 
™, to 2000 B.C. Unless able 
to lift a ton and have a 
free hand, men found this 

WE pornography useless. 


tLdisa Clut’s pussy let 
loose a sonic boom that 
shook an entire town. 
People as far away as 
Manchester heard the blast, 
which rendered the poor 
young man who was 
servicing her deaf: 


a § 

Lo think—just nine months 
ago. this little guy was 
swimming around in his | 
daddy's balls, 


a\ 
D | ary is popular only with women who 
have given birth, and it's easy to see why. 


ah 
7m 


tL his tribe is located 
deep in the rain forest, 
where tits are as big as 
a house. Native children 
love to play slip 'n’ slide 
on these. 


_/arpet salesman Bill and his 
girlfriend Cindy love to dine out, which is not 
so unusual. What is unusual is that they 
both eat with their butts. Sometimes similar 
people attract. 


; | y | Lost of us defecate 
from_our rear, but not 
Jerry. His digestive system 
is a little backward. His 
girlfriend says that his 
mouth tastes even worse than 
an ashtray. 


‘or an entire summer, 
Heidi screamed at the 
top of her lungs. After 
a few nights, her neigh- 
bors formed a betting 
pool that netted more 
than $100,000. 


j | fy 
yi LX years old, and besides 
eating a cucumber sandwich § 
before bed, she still pumps af 
different man. every night! 


¢ Zohn Load and. Maria 

Lapinga were in the 
fluff cycle when they 
reached a climax. 


a bel ic : 


INE. OFTHE YEAR. 


VSyZ 


APL 


Fear and hypocrisy have repressed 


sexual awareness, leading to the 
ignorance that spreads disease and 
creates violence, in addition to hin 

dering our natural enjoyment of 
sex This series opens the door to 
current sexual knowledge and ex 

pression, and improved love 

making 


34 


—/f 


Al 


RRA AOI 


€ElLE.CAe 


A CUT BELOVV 


hortly after he’s tunneled out of his mother’s dilated 

cunt, the average American boy is wheeled into a 
stainless-steel chamber where scalpels and forceps wait 
to accost his future manhood. Blankly, nurses and doctors 
attach steel clamps to his unanesthetized babydick and 
slice the casing off the microsausage. Their sanitary proce- 
dures and perfunctory, professional manner belie the fact 
that this ritualistic form of decorative surgery dates back to 
the rusty sabers of primitive savages. 

Australian aborigines visit another form of genital mutila- 
tion upon the prepubescent, slicing open the urethra from 
the glans to the scrotum on the underside of the penis (tak- 
ing care not to cut into the corpus cavemosum, with all its 
erectile tissue). The result is what Australians humorously 
call the “whistle cock,” referring to its whiffling leakage of 
sperm and urine. Like Americans, who mostly regard the 
uncut as backwoods rednecks, the aborigines only accord 
full social status to those who have undergone subincision. 

An entire new cult of “modern primitives” among to- 
day's American bohemians offer up their cocks for addi- 
tional modification on a voluntary basis. Postmodem penises 
sport ornate tattoos, studs, or a ring or a chain piercing the 
glans and the urethra. Metal-punk dweebs of all ages 
compare their genital 
jewelry at New York and 
L. A. nightclubs. “You mean 
you wanna stick that 
thing in me, rings and all?” 
shrieked one red-blooded 
broad at Hollywood's Club 
Lingerie upon sighting a 
would-be swain’s hard- 
ware-laden pud. 

Beyond undergoing all 
manner of hideous surgery, 
the penis is a political lia- 
bility. Feminist pundits are 
vocal in their conviction 
that possession of a penis 
is in itself an overtly fascist 
act—fucking is seen as a 
violation against women. 
“The thrusting is persistent 
invasion. [A woman being 
fucked] is opened up, split 
down the center. She is 
occupied—physically, in- 
ternally, in her privacy,” 
warns ultrafeminist Andrea 
Dworkin. September 1989's 


East Coast Lesbians’ Festival stood its ground against a 
politically backward sister who toted along a 16-month-old 
baby boy, his male appendage heading irrevocably toward 
manhood. Soon, the mother's cabin became plastered with 
signs reading “Baby Prick Go Home” and “Don’t Feed 
Males, Don’t Breed Males.” A festival organizer reported 
that lesbians who become pregnant should have abortions 
if tests indicate that the fetus is male. “Boys are born with 
pricks and male privilege. These attributes do not mysteri- 
ously appear at a certain age,” declares lesbian Elizabeth 
Braeuman. Dworkin reminds us that “new reproductive 
technologies have changed and will continue to change 
the nature of the world. Intercourse is not necessary to 
exist anymore.” 

No wonder an increasing number of embattled dick- 
owners are looking to unload their unwanted liabilities. It's 
not understandable—but it's no wonder. Modern scien- 
tists H. Grielsheimer and J. E. Groves, in their 1979 article 
on “Male Self-Mutilation,” maintain that genital self-dese- 
cration occurs most frequently in psychotic men and as a 
“component of transsexualism.” The strange part is that 
most post-op transsexuals, experts agree, enjoy their 
penis-free existence, and the so-called psychotic men are 
glad they took the blade to 
their offending organs. 

Take the 44-year-old 
white merchant seaman ad- 
mitted to Bellevue Hospital 
in New York City after cas- 
trating himself by cutting 
Out his testicles with a razor 
blade. Dr. Aaron H. Esman’s 
“A Case of Self-Castration” 
(Journal of Nervous and 
Mental Disease) seeks to 
undermine the sanity of his 
patient with the antiseptic 
and dissecting language of 
the scientist. Six months be- 
fore the seaman emasculat- 
ed himself, he stated: “| 
want to be loved. | want to 
have my penis and scrotum 
cut off and have my testi- 
cles pushed up into my ab- 
domen. Please, Doctor, won't 
you help me? | bought a 
maid's uniform at Macy’s 
and want to be a servant for 

(continued on page 41) 


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(continued from page 34) 
some sophisticated, older artist woman. I'll scrub 
floors for her. I'll do anything. | want to be more of 
a child. Why doesn’t anyone 
, love me? They can call me cunt- 

q lapper, but that’s my business. 
I've never done anything wrong, 
like playing around with little 
girls or married women. They've 
all been older women. If | can’t 
become a little girl, the only 
thing left for me is to commit 
suicide, but I'm afraid to do any- 
thing like that.” 

Directly following the sea- 
man’s gelding, his doctor reports 
that the patient became alert, cheerful and “quite 
intact.” Six months later, the doctor communicat- 
ed with his patient via letters and a telephone 
call, both attesting to the patient's good adjust- 
ment. As difficult as it was for him to admit, Dr. 
Esman concedes that his patient's castration 
proved to be the proper tonic for what ailed him. 

S. Lennon, the author of a report on “Genital 
Self-Mutilation in Acute Mania” for the Medical 
Journal of Australia, suggests that even in the 
early 1960s the practice of self-castration was 
more common than the lack of published reports 
on the subject would indicate. In one case, Dr. 
Lennon describes a 28-year-old chronic schizo- 
phrenic who amputated his penis about half an 
inch from the base of the perineum. Among his 
other crimes, Lennon's young patient exhibited 
feelings of inadequacy, and preoccupation with 
subjects of a philosophical and mystical nature. 

Another of Lennon's patients was an intelligent, 
well-educated, 42-year-old man who amputated his 
penis with a razor blade practically at the level of 
the perineum. This well-adjusted fellow, called 
“manic” by his doctor for his friendly, outgoing be- 
havior, harbored most interesting reasons for 
whacking off his willie: “On going through some 
old correspondence, he came across a note from 
his mother. The gist of this note related to his 
brother's recent change of address. The street to 
which his brother had moved bore a rather odd- 
sounding name, and the patient's mother, in a post- 
script to her note, had written: ‘This may look fun- 
ny, but it isn't.’ The patient remembered dwelling 
for some time on the word funny, at first toying 
with the idea, and eventually becoming convinced 
that it would be funny to cut off his penis. He then 
sat down, tied a rubber band as a ligature around 
the base of his penis and sawed through it with a 
razor blade. He remembered clearly the details of 
the operation and described it as being very 
painful, but his mood at the time was happy and 
cheerful. He did not go to breakfast that moming, 
but jumped into his car, threw his penis on the floor 
and drove off toward his place of work, feeling so 
exuberant that he burst into song.” 

Dr. Lennon goes on to mention that the patient 


HUSTLER JUNE 


i“ Ww { << ay “2 


was interested in, and proficient at, a number of 
outdoor games, was a good mixer, popular with 
his fellows, intelligent and successful at his stud- 
ies, but “marital disharmony” persisted with his 
wife over his sexual demands. The patient, how- 
ever, demonstrated a chivalrous attitude toward 
his penis and, by extension, his wife. “| knew my 
divorce was coming up, and | would have no fur- 
ther use for it,” he reportedly admitted. Dr. Lennon 
was perceptive enough to note the patient's lack 
of remorse and the almost self-satisfied compla- 
cency attained through his self-mutilation, which 
suggests that the patient, by this action, had in 
some way arrived at a satisfactory solution to an 
unconscious conflict. 

Leon M. Beilin, writing in The Journal of Urology 
in October 1953, reported several more provi- 
dential outcomes to self-removal of the testes 
and/or penis. One elderly patient stated that his 
reason for self-emasculation was that his wife 
had refused to have intercourse with him. After 
this act, Dr. Beilin reported that the patient was in 
good health, well-behaved and oriented, and 
apparently showed no regret for his action nor 
resentment toward his wife. 

Another of Beilin’s patients, age 23, was in- 
spired to amputate his testicles after helping his 
father castrate some pigs that morning. Said 
Beilin: “The physician who administered first aid 
noted that the patient was quite calm and ap- 
peared to be in a state of inward exaltation.” Dr. 


Beilin went on to describe the penile amputees as 
“voiding freely in the upright position, though the 
stream is splashing and the aim is poor.” 

It's doubtful that all such surgical hobbyists 
were pushed into slicing by radical, cock-hating 
lesbophiles. Cultures as diverse as the Roman and 
Babylonian have glorified the Divine Hermaph- 
rodite. The contemporary surgical hermaphroditism 
known as transsexualism is so common that it has 
become boring. Most American trannies are creat- 
ed through elaborate, expensive operations, but 
their brethren in India, named the Hijarah, have a 
less expensive procedure. According to J. B. 
Mukherjee in The American Journal of Forensic 
Medicine and Pathology, emasculation is carried 
out by the adult Hijarahs at secret ceremonies 
where the penis and scrotum of the victim are 
removed by a clean sweep with a knife. A local 
quack then quickly provides bandages soaked in 
bumt cow dung and camphor dust to contro! loss 
of blood and infection. 

Given the forces that are turning the morals 
and priorities of America upside down, Andrea 
Dworkin may well be right. Science may have 
successfully rendered the practical service of the 
penis obsolete. But as long as a few die-hard 
squares cling to their rods, such cries from the 
anticock coalitions can be dick-whipped into 
abeyance. At least for the time being, kings still 
tule the castles—and no man can be king with- 
out a scepter. 


“Breaking up ain’t hard,” says 22-year-old 
Chrissie, who’s just split with her third boyfriend. 
“When guys get serious, | say goodbye. Ain’t 
there any guy out there who just wants to play?” 


_ Worten; 
' warned thie 


P10 ohls u fick, 


vs 2 


ey tO Ul “) 

rect, he ca 

At a private party at an Arab enclave in 
Los Angeles, the smell of incense and 
heated honey fills the air. A young woman 
slithers across a tile floor in a ritualized 
dance of seduction. Her lithe body is 
wrapped in an almost invisible sheath of 
blue veils. Throughout the dance, the veils 
creep down her body like the skin of a 
shedding snake. The room is filled with the 
wives and mistresses of a few Arab men, 
but she dances for herself, not for others. 
Finally, the veils fall to the floor. Revealed 
is the bronze skin of a lovely woman who 
had been taken as an infant by slave 
traders and held captive since childhood. 
She had been trained by a master to walk 
on stilts without wobbling while he insert- 
ed a finger up her tiny sphincters. To make 
sure she did this “act” correctly, he tied 
bells around her neck, wrists and ankles, 
and she learned to maneuver herself with- 
out a sound. Today, free of the constraints 
of her native Arab country, she is an 
American citizen. She dances to fulfill 
the romantic expectations of her Ameri- 
can hosts, but it is the favor of a woman 
of free will, not the duty of a slave. 


y is to satisfy her hus 


re, Se WI 
or knowledge. 

The image of a joyfully erotic belly 
dancer was the chief American idea of 
Arabian womanhood until modern tech- 
nology brought new and disturbing images 
of crowds of black-veiled, somber women 
into every American home. We now know 
of a desert land where public life is a cos- 
tumed ritual, and private life is shadowed 
in mystery and brutal rites. In the chains of 
Arabia’s most guarded privacy lies the em- 
battled Arab woman, with only her eyes 
visible above a heavy veil, eyes described 
in Islamic literature throughout the cen- 
turies as dangerous, haunting and mirror- 
ing a soul that is in league with the devil. 

Islam, the primary religion of the 
Middle East, inherited an ancient image 
of Eve [the mother of all women] that 
depicted her as a follower and instrument 
of Satan. The body of woman is consid- 
ered the devil’s abode. A well-known 
Arabian proverb says that whenever a 
man and a woman meet, the third to join 
is always Satan. The prophet Mohammed 
himself warned his tribes that, after he 
had gone, no greater danger would men- 
ace his nation than the face of woman. 


f 


“Sometimes I wish you'd never made that trip to Mexico....” 


52 


The Muslim fear of the feminine force 
has fostered the most barbaric and stulti- 
fying misogyny ever granted public 
acceptance, keeping the Arab woman in 
lifelong physical and psychological 
abuse. Her crime? The very fact of her 
allure. Man in the face of womanly 
seduction is helpless, proclaims the 
Koran, the Islamic Bible, a source of 
many proverbs attesting to man’s weak- 
ness and woman’s strength of will. 

Unlike Orthodox Christianity, Islam 
does not consider recreational sex a sinful 
practice. Islam describes erotic pleasure as 
one of the primary attractions of life, and 
one of the delights of paradise after death. 
Arab women are positively sexual and 
show no hesitation in expressing desire for 
particular men, and in exercising erotic 
charms for the object of their intentions. 
The proper Arab woman excels in subtle 
allurements to attract her man toward mar- 
riage or, at the very least, toward sex. 
Feminine eroticism is a highly specialized 
tool. In a society where females are 
considered no more or less than common 
commodities, an Arab woman may have to 
compete with as many as four wives for 
her husband’s favor. 

The Islamic religion considers man to 
be an unstable being; it is his nature to be 
promiscuous. He can satisfy his desire 
legally with as many wives as he can 
afford, and can divorce them by simply 
saying, in front of a single witness, “I 
divorce you” three times. The wife’s duty 
is to satisfy her husband’s sexual desire 
on demand, because when his cock is 
erect, he loses two-thirds of his reason 
and cannot think of Allah, science or 
knowledge. In effect, the Arab woman 
keeps the tenets of Islamic society from 
unraveling by relieving the male of his 
barbarously stupid hard-on. 

Muslim philosophers believe that civi- 
lization is founded on the struggle against 
female powers and the need to control and 
suppress them, to protect the minds of men 
from becoming preoccupied to the detri- 
ment of duties toward Allah and society. 
“He who is accustomed to the thighs of 
women will never be the source of any- 
thing,” states the eminent Arabian philoso- 
pher Ibrahim Eba Adham. 

In Muslim Arabian society, everything 
connected with sexuality is subject to 
taboos. Yet no religion has so glorified 
romantic passion, sensuality and the joys 
of physical contact. The Islamic ethic is 
founded on life and poetry, on the legit- 
imizing of desire and the complementary 
physical natures of men and women. Sex- 
ual love is a symbol of God’s perfection. 
Allah is glorified at the door of pleasure, 
for the orgasm is a marvel that encourages 
awareness of God’s efficiency. To have an 


JUNE HUSTLER 


“Don't worry, honey —it'll snap shut in about an hour.” 


orgasm is to become worthy to read the 
book of creation. 

But to succumb to sex—and not master 
it—will lead to what is called fitna — 
anarchy, crisis and disruption. So Islamic 
society isolates the woman in a constructed 
social prison in which she can do no harm. 
If she goes out in public, she must be 
covered so that no one will see her seduc- 
tiveness, for seductiveness can lead to 
anarchy, uprisings and the total destruction 
of the established order of Allah. 

Time has eroded tradition to the degree 
that rising poorer classes have produced 
women who don’t wear veils and who 
work alongside men in the many factories. 
Still, even in modern-day Saudi Arabia, 
such women are treated like whores by the 
men in the streets, and some return home 
to find new wives in their places. Islam 
teaches that when the forces of change are 
unleashed, the destruction of society will 
be uncontrollable. 

To rural Muslim families throughout the 
Middle East, the arrival of a daughter is 
perceived as an occasion for mourning. 
She is received in an atmosphere of barely 


suppressed disappointment and is prepared 
from birth for a life of submission. In the 
Islamic families of the politically divisive 
states of Iraq, Iran, Jordan and Egypt, the 
social roles of their women are alike. A 
young woman is forever merely a sister, 
wife or mother, never a lover or friend. 
The genders never mix. When she marries, 
she is only of value if she has a male child. 
Islamic women are taught from birth 
that they are to be protected from their 
own powers of seduction. After this brain- 
washing, they accept an operation so horti- 
ble that the official reasons for the practice 
of clitoridectomy are hidden to this day. 
The women of Islam never discuss this 
female amputation—they just do it. 
Mutilation of the vagina, a form of mind 
control, goes back to pharaonic Egypt, 
many years before Islam. The clitoris has 
no reason for being except to give women 
pleasure. It is an organ separating human 
experience from that of lower primates. 
Human beings experience sex for pleasure, 
as was biologically intended. The clit is cut 
off to butcher a woman’s right to humanity, 
and for no other reason. Islamic expert 


MWOITADOAAATVI 
MOOA 


“Look — we're not gonna get anything out of these guys...” 


54 


Nawal El Saadawi explains: “The circum- 
cision of girls was not originally an Islamic 
custom, but was practiced in societies with 
widely varying religious backgrounds. 
Circumcision was known in Europe as late 
as the 19th century, as well as in countries 
like Egypt, the Sudan, Somaliland, 
Ethiopia, Kenya, Tanzania, Ghana, Guinea 
and Nigeria. It was also practiced in many 
Asian countries and in parts of Latin 
America. Herodotus mentioned it 700 
years before the birth of Christ.” 

Saadawi herself suffered the barbaric 
ritual at the age of six in the Delta region 
north of Cairo. Just as she was falling 
asleep one night, a hand clasped over her 
mouth. She was dragged into a bathroom, 
laid on the cold floor, her legs pulled 
apart, and she felt a pain that was like a 
“searing flame that went through [her] 
whole body.” 

Cultural correspondent Wedad Zenie- 
Ziegler provides this technical description 
of female circumcision: “Female circumci- 
sion, or excision, is the removal, more or 
less complete, of the external female 
genitalia. There are three main forms of 
excision. The mildest and by far the least 
practiced, going under the name of Sunna, 
consists of the removal of the prepuce or 
the tip of the clitoris (sometimes both) by 
means of a sharp instrument (usually a 
razor blade). The form that is most wide- 
spread, excision (also known as clitoridec- 
tomy), consists of the removal of part or all 
of the clitoris and the labia minora. Often, 
the interior lining of the labia majora is also 
cut away. Any sharp instrument is used to 
carry out these operations. This ranges from 
a kitchen knife to a razor blade, by way of a 
pointed reed stalk, a nail or even a piece of 
glass. The third form, the most brutal as 
well as the most drastic, is infibulation. 
Apparently, this method was used by the 
Romans to prevent fornication among their 
slaves. It is also called pharaonic circumci- 
sion by the Sudanese, and Sudanese 
circumcision by the Egyptians. It consists 
of the removal of the entire clitoris, the 
labia minora and most of the labia majora. 
When the operation is over, the two vaginal 
sides are stitched together, and the vaginal 
orifice is reduced to the diameter of a 
pencil, allowing just enough room for the 
passage of urine or menstrual blood. Here 
again, all sorts of techniques are used 
(stitching with thorns, cauterizing by fire- 
brand) to close the labia majora, which will 
then swell up, then sewing with thread with 
the aim of guaranteeing the almost total 
occlusion of the vulva until the wedding 
night, at which time the husband will 
undertake to open it. Afterward, it will be 
enlarged each time the woman gives birth 
and then sewn up again.” 

Sometimes the husband of such a muti- 


JUNE HUSTLER 


AebileSCUD 


MISSILE LAUNCHER 


lated woman needs the help of a woman 
called a daya to open up his wife. She 
most often uses her long fingernail to do it. 
The blood is usually profuse, and usually 
the wife becomes infected and does not go 
for treatment, unless she has a female 
doctor or is wealthy. There is enough pain 
to make any woman shy away from sexual 
activity of any kind and become a docile 
partner in the impassive sex act with her 
husband or anyone in their immediate 
families who chooses to have sex with her. 
Many Arab women who have under- 
gone female circumcision see it as a rite of 
passage toward a woman’s sexual maturity. 
The practice ensures the fidelity of a wife 
to her husband. The clitoris must be 
removed, as the pursuit of pleasure could 
distract the wife from more important 
domestic duties. Sex must always be at the 
husband’s instigation, never the wife’s. 
Arab men prefer virgins and go to 
obscene lengths to break cherries, but the 
modern inexperienced Arab girl has likely 
been had by most of the men in her family, 
from brothers to father, grandfather and 
any male servants or uncles. No matter 


how knowing of inbred sexual matters the 
girl might be, she does not speak of it. The 
honor of her family, which has been care- 
fully maintained for countless generations, 
is on the line. 

When a young Islamic girl comes to 
marriage, the integrity of her entire family 
depends on the breaking of her hymen. 
This otherwise inconsequential bit of femi- 
nine anatomy is scrutinized so closely that 
the Institute of Forensic Medicine in 
Baghdad, Iraq, reports that 11.2% of Iraqi 
girls are born with an elastic hymen, 
16.16% with so fine a membrane that it is 
easily torn, 31.32% with a thick elastic 
hymen, and only 41.32% with what may 
be considered a “normal” hymen. If on her 
wedding night this fine membrane does not 
bleed profusely, she is considered damaged 
goods. It must bleed enough to make a 
visible stain on the bed sheet, which is then 
displayed for all to view. A girl who does 
not preserve her virginity is liable to be 
punished with death, social castigation or 
divorce. Such a girl might be entirely inno- 
cent, as some hymens just don’t bleed. In 
many villages, a daya is called in to help 


WX$$ _ am RADIO 


Y§ 


THE WHITE POWER STATION 


“Now for some music — here's The Jigaboo Stomp by Alabama Bob and the Lynchers.”” 


56 


with the process of defloration. The crones 
earn their livings by amputating the 
clitorises of children and tearing open the 
vaginas of young brides. The father of the 
bride can then proudly hold up his daugh- 
ter’s blood-stained towel and wave it 
above the heads of the collected relatives 
to bear happy witness to the honor of the 
family. Sometimes the daya, if the blood 
does not flow to her liking, will poke her 
fingernail into the vaginal wall to really get 
the red flowing. She is popular and always 
has a steady flow of customers, if she does 
a good job on such an occasion. 

Unmarried daughters of the Egyptian 
rich who are not intact have visited plastic 
surgeons to repair broken hymens. Rural 
girls in Giza arrange for their wedding 
nights to be on their menstrual periods. If 
all else fails, a daya can fix up a bag of 
chicken’s blood to put at the opening of the 
vagina to ensure a good, red flow. 

Nawal El Saadawi tells of a story she 
encountered in an Islamic newspaper while 
a physician in a clinic in Benha, Egypt. 
Police had discovered the body of a young, 
pregnant girl. It was thought that she had 
been murdered to defend the honor of the 
family, which very often happens in such 
cases. However, when the body was dis- 
sected by a medical legal expert in the 
mortuary, his report showed that the girl 
had not actually been pregnant. The 
swelling detected in her belly was due to 
accumulated menstrual flow held back by 
a thick, unperforated hymen. 

Every Muslim girl is taught from child- 
hood to suppress her needs and desires and 
to live to satisfy the desires of others. 
When she becomes too old or ravaged to 
be considered sexually attractive, she is 
finally able to go out into the street without 
her husband. She may smoke, laugh and 
talk without being looked on as a whore. 

The Middle East is undergoing a wave 
of unparalleled religious fanaticism that is 
as contradictory as it is contagious. There 
are those that call for the most severe pun- 
ishments for the most inconsequential 
crimes. Religious and moral questions 
clash over the same double standard that 
has run through every aspect of Islamic 
culture since Mohammed’s ancient hejira 
from Medina to Mecca. 

Still, when an Arab man enters a home 
where there are women present, he mum- 
bles a long string of holy names with 
pursed lips, ending with a phrase that in 
essence chases away evil spirits or devils, 
referring, of course, to the women of the 
house. The Arab woman stands encircled 
by a monstrous cycle of harassment and 
dehumanization, her scarred vagina a 
symbol of her most private humiliation. 
What justice can she know from a society 
that reveres her misfortune? & 


JUNE HUSTLER 


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On July 12, 1978, the residents of an East 
Harlem project at 1734 Madison Avenue 
were stunned by what they saw on the TV 
news. It wasn’t some faraway atrocity that 
shocked their tightly knit family communi- 
ty. It was the news that, sometime around 
five o’clock that afternoon, one of their 28- 
year-old sons had been severely injured in 
an apartment in East Elmhurst, Queens, 
after his finishing touches on a pipe bomb 
accidentally blew the works. 

The wounded man, William Guillermo 
Morales, was the son of respectable Puerto 
Rican parents. An A student throughout 
public school, he’d attended PS 121, PS 80 
and Junior High School 45, where he was 
a medal-winning swimmer. As a teenager, 
he’d worked at summer programs teaching 
young kids how to read. As early as 13, he 
had gone to work at a factory to help his 
family out financially. Shy, measuring 
around 5-8 and looking a bit undernour- 
ished, he wasn’t the type of young man 
Hollywood would cast as the infamous 
bombmaker and alleged leader of the 
Puerto Rican nationalist group FALN, the 
Fuerzas Armadas de Liberacién National 


(Armed Forces of National Liberation). 
When Morales was arrested, the FBI 
was completely baffled. It was his first ar- 
rest. He was clean-cut. He worked and 
went to school. It seemed unlikely that he 
was the monster the New York Post would 
later call a “one-man campaign of death.” 

But William Morales was one of the 
many young Puerto Rican activists whose 
wish for political reform for their besieged 
homeland came from an educated—and 
brutal—radicalism. While at City College 
during the late 1960s studying interna- 
tional relations, he got caught up in the 
1968-1969 student strike, which formed 
the basis of his political views. 

“When I was involved in the school 
strike, I saw that talking wasn’t doing any- 
thing. I got involved in Puerto Rican poli- 
tics and discovered that the more you 
talked, the stronger your enemy was get- 
ting. I studied the nationalist movement 
worldwide. Then somebody I trusted very 
much asked me if I wanted to become part 
of this new organization, and I told him 
that I had to think about it. I did some soul- 
searching, and when we got together again, 


“I don’t think we have to go over the usual typing and shorthand 
68 questions —you've got the job!” 


I said, ‘Yeah. I’m in.’ ” He was 20 years 
old and one step on the road of sacrifice 
and selfless devotion that would ultimately 
lead him to unconsciousness, endless pain, 
mutilation and, finally, eternal exile in far- 
away Cuba. He has been in Cuba since 
June 24, 1988. 

“The nipple was open,” explains the 
soft-spoken, Bronx-born New Yorker at the 
Hotel Presidente in Havana. He is known 
today as Guillermo Morales, who, at age 
41, behaves exactly like the young man 
who months after his dismemberment was 
labeled by the Federal Bureau of Investiga- 
tion “America’s most dangerous terrorist,” 
and who has eluded federal authorities to 
this day since his escape from Bellevue 
Hospital in 1979. “The pipe bomb was 
open on one side; so the whole blast 
escaped through that end. I blocked my 
face with my hands, and that’s why I lost 
my hands. I could have lost my face com- 
pletely. If the pipe bomb had been closed, I 
would have been dead.” 

Twelve years after that near-fatal explo- 
sion in Queens, twisted hunks of flesh, one 
resembling a golf putter, the other with two 
lone fingers, hang at the end of his arms. At 
times, he brings his skinny, handless 
stumps together and rubs them like a fly at 
rest. A single finger pauses on his chin as 
he speaks, remembering the fateful day 
more than a decade ago: “I was uncon- 
scious. When I woke up, I tried to grab the 
floor and couldn’t, I knew that I didn’t have 
any hands. Then I went to the bathroom 
and saw my face. My jaw was open. I had 
lost some teeth at the bottom.” He shrugs. 
“What could I do? I started grabbing com- 
muniqués about the movement [the FALN] 
and started flushing them down the toilet. 
Then some firemen came. I gave them my 
name and address. At that moment, I 
wasn’t thinking about myself. I was think- 
ing about the movement.” 

When the New York Police Department 
detectives came into his apartment, they 
found large chunks of his hands, but in- 
stead of turning them over to the hospital, 
they gave them to the FBI for a fingerprint 
check. “They put pieces of my hand in 
formaldehyde,” says Morales with resigna- 
tion. “These were big chunks, pieces the 
hospital could have used to reconstruct my 
hands. They ruined me on purpose. I was 
treated badly at the hospital. The doctor 
grabbed me by the hair and slammed my 
head on the table. They tried to force a 
tube down my mouth for breathing, but I 
was choking on all the blood that was run- 
ning out of my mouth. I told them I needed 
an injection for the pain. I could feel the 
pain when they cut my throat to force 
their tube inside.” 

A high price to pay for any political 
cause, but the FALN fought the law not for 


JUNE HUSTLER 


“Allan MacDonell, HUSTLER Magazine. General, are the men getting enough pussy?” 


personal gain, but for the return of the 
Puerto Rican heritage to the people of that 
nation. Because of a media blackout 
against the struggle for Puerto Rican inde- 
pendence, most Americans are not aware 
that Puerto Ricans have struggled for liber- 
ation since July 25, 1898, the year that the 
United States obtained Puerto Rico from 
Spain after the Spanish-American War. 
Fourteen nationalists are serving life sen- 
tences in maximum-security prisons such 
as Lewisburg, Oklahoma, Pleasanton, 
Talledaga, Joliet, Lompac and Marion for 
mere membership in the FALN. As early 
as 1960, a memorandum from FBI director 
J. Edgar Hoover urged that “more positive 
effort must be made not only to curtail but 
to disrupt the activities of Puerto Rican na- 
tionalists.” Warned William Webster, the 
ex-director of the FBI, during the Senate 
hearings confirming his appointment to the 
CIA in 1987: “Puerto Ricans constitute the 
Achilles tendon of the United States... 
The only organization we have never been 
able to finish off has been the FALN.” The 
U.S. is the only nation in the world that 
claims there are no prisoners in its jails for 


and police are surrounding him like the surre 


le vey 4 ‘la 1 
nder of the German army.” 
politically motivated reasons, and its popu- 
lace, for the most part, seems to believe 
that. If a prisoner of war is defined as a 
person who is arrested for conspiring to 
overthrow the government, then Puerto 
Rican nationalists deserve to be called po- 
litical prisoners as rightly as do members 
of the Irish Republican Army, the Pales- 
tinian Liberation Organization or the 
African National Congress. One person’s 
terrorist is another person’s freedom 
fighter, as the saying goes. 

At Elmhurst General Hospital, where he 
was admitted under heavy guard immedi- 
ately following the pipe-bomb explosion 
and his arrest, Morales renewed his 
acquaintance with Susan Tipograph, a 
New York attorney who describes herself 
as a lesbian, an activist and a socialist. In 
1977, Tipograph assisted the lawyers who 
represented a number of people who had 
been subpoenaed to a federal grand jury 
investigating the FALN. Two of the people 
she was representing were members of a 
national commission on Hispanic affairs. 
Morales had been an associate of the com- 
mission since 1975. Tipograph interviewed 


VIEW FROM THE LASER GUIDED BomB 
THAT WILL END THE WAR. 


70 


him about FBI harassment of the group. 

When she went to see Morales at 
Elmhurst General, Tipograph didn’t place 
the name. “There I was, a few blocks 
away, using a friend’s law library, and in 
came a woman named Dylcia Pagan, fol- 
lowed by some FBI agents who had 
jumped in a cab with her, saying that these 
men told her that her husband had been in 
an explosion and was under arrest. I was 
the only lawyer around who could go with 
her to Queens. So I went.” 

It took hours before Tipograph was 
allowed to view the patient. “I had to get 
authorization from 12 police precincts in 
Queens. They sent me running here and 
there. And then when I finally went up to 
his room, the hallways at the hospital were 
lined with riot-clad police with automatic 
weapons. Before I went in, I was asked by 
countless cops whether I really wanted to 
see him or not, because they said he looked 
disgusting. They were trying to convince 
me not to get involved.” 

Several police officers surrounded Morales. 
Tipograph demanded, as his attorney, that 
they leave the room. “I saw him within 12 
hours of the explosion,” she states. “His 
face was two to three times the size of 
what it normally was.” The government’s 
interest in pursuing criminal charges 
against Morales was so intense that proper 
medical treatment was not a consideration. 
“He had an eye problem as a result of the 
explosion. We had to sue to get him medi- 
cal treatment,” says Tipograph. “That’s 
how we got him to Bellevue Hospital. He 
had a traumatic cataract, which, left un- 
treated, would have resulted in a total loss 
of vision in his left eye. Surgery was per- 
formed at Bellevue by a private doctor that 
we obtained through the services of Belle- 
vue. His vision was saved by lawsuits.” 

When Morales was hurt, his mother 
went door-to-door asking neighbors for 
money to defray her son’s medical costs. 
Most of the women in the barrio contribut- 
ed, and that is something Morales remem- 
bers fondly. “My mother’s friends held 
prayer vigils, prayed the rosary and lit can- 
dies so that I would be all right. I guess 
that worked on my side. The media had a 
field day showing me injured. It was their 
way of letting the Puerto Rican community 
know that this is what would happen to 
their revolutionaries.” 

Two days after being treated at Elm- 
hurst, Morales was arraigned on a criminal- 
court complaint. It was a sickbed proceed- 
ing. He couldn’t speak at that point. When 
asked if he were guilty, he spelled out no in 
the air with his foot. 

Since his school days, Morales had been 
an ardent admirer of the Puerto Rican 
nationalists Lolita Lebron, Rafael Miranda, 
Irving Flores, Andres Figueroa Cordero 


JUNE HUSTLER 


and Oscar Corlazo, who were arrested on 
November 1, 1954, after their armed attack 
on the House of Representatives resulted 
in five congressmen wounded in gunfire 
from the gallery. Their desperate objective 
was to assassinate President Harry Truman 
to protest the colonization of Puerto Rico. 
They were pardoned in 1979 by President 
James Earl Carter. Morales saw his politi- 
cal stance as an outgrowth of that violent 
history, and assumed the role of political 
prisoner, not public defendant. Morales 
and Tipograph’s only involvement in the 
legal proceedings was to protect his medi- 
cal rights. They never actually participated 
in the trials themselves. 

He was tried in federal court first for 
five federal charges involving possession 
of explosives and weaponry (including 66 
sticks of dynamite, 200 pounds of incendi- 
ary chemicals, two carbines and a sawed- 
off shotgun). Without ever being present in 
the court of law, he was convicted and sen- 
tenced to ten years in prison. Subsequently, 
he was transferred to state custody and 
tried in Queens on state charges involving 
explosives and reckless endangerment. 


Unlike the federal court where he was not 
required to appear and could remain 
ensconced in a back room, the state court 
insisted that he appear. Morales was sen- 
tenced to 29 to 89 years in prison. 

He received further medical treatment at 
King’s County Hospital and Rikers Island 
Hospital, and then finally arrived at 
Bellevue, his legs cuffed to a wheelchair, 
surrounded by 25 police officers bearing 
automatic weapons. 

Tipograph remembers the scene: “It was 
pathetic. Here’s a man with no hands, 
chained to a wheelchair, and police are sur- 
rounding him like the surrender of the 
German army.” She twists the stub of her 
cigarette in an ashtray. “I guess Bellevue 
is where he showed them.” 

The New York Times, on May 22, 1979, 
carried this report: “William Morales, a 
reputed Puerto Rican terrorist who lost 
most of both hands in an explosion, 
escaped from a prison ward at Bellevue 
Hospital yesterday, apparently by using an 
elastic bandage as a makeshift rope to 
climb down from a 40-foot-high window. 

“Mr. Morales, who is 31 years old, was 


“Thanks, Jack. Another ten seconds of pure ecstasy!” 


sentenced last month to 29 to 89 years in 
prison for possession of explosives and 
other offenses. At his sentencing, he ex- 
claimed in court: ‘They’re not going to 
hold me forever...’ ” 

“I remember watching people on the 
subway reading about his escape as if it 
were an adventure story,” says Tipograph. 
“You could see grins of satisfaction on the 
faces of Puerto Ricans and African Ameri- 
cans. It’s embarrassing for the FBI and the 
NYPD to have headlines on the front 
pages of the New York Post and Daily 
News that blare: ‘Handless Man Escapes 
From Jail.’ ” 

Many years and thousands of miles away 
from his unbelievable coup, Morales rubs 
his stubs against the armrest of his chair 
and shrugs. “They [the police] expected 
something else, and we [the FALN] had to 
do something very quietly and very well 
planned. They were expecting some sort of 
armed attack. They reinforced themselves 
on the inside, but not on the outside. In the 
prison system, there is a lot of strife among 
the guards. We took advantage of the fact 
that the Latin guards didn’t get along with 
the white guards, that the white guards 
didn’t get along with the black guards. It 
took four months of planning. My friends 
were waiting outside. I walked freely from 
the building early that morning, walked 
down First Avenue, got into a car and went 
away. I’ve never been back since.” 

The FBI launched one of the biggest 
manhunts in history to find Morales. He 
still delights in detailing how he could not 
be caught. “I circled the nation. I kept out 
of sight by staying ahead of everybody. I 
never stayed in one place too long. When I 
made it to Mexico, I once strolled by the 
American Embassy and the federal police. 
A person becomes invisible by being visi- 
ble.” He credits his years of successful hid- 
ing and eventual political asylum in Cuba 
to the Puerto Rican independence move- 
ment, which, he stresses, is a lot stronger 
than the U.S. media would care to admit. 

He credits Raul Gomez Treto, an official 
of Cuba’s Ministry of Justice, with helping 
him obtain Cuban political asylum— 
thus avoiding extradition to the United 
States from Mexico. For, in Mexico, on 
May 26, 1983, Morales was discovered 
and ambushed by police and stood by 
as his bodyguard, Adelaido Villapando 
Contreras, shot it out. Contreras killed a 
Mexican police officer before dying him- 
self in the battle. Morales served only five 
years for his role as an accessory to mur- 
der. And while United States authorities 
made plans for his extraction, Treto snuck 
Morales out of the country on June 24, 
1988—an action that so angered the 
U.S. that it recalled its ambassador. 

(continued on page 101) 


JUNE HUSTLER 


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After buying some cheap muscatel, three winos hud- 
dled under a bridge for the night and started drinking. 
Several hours later, they all passed out. When morning 
came, two of the winos woke up to find their pal had 
died in his sleep. 

At the funeral home, the two surviving friends stood 
by the coffin of their departed buddy. “Boy,” remarked 
one, “Ralph sure looks bad, don’t he?” 

“Well, shit, he should,” replied the other. “He ain’t 
had a drink in a couple of days!” 


A black man who was wanted by the Tennessee author- 
ities had been photographed in six different positions, 
and the photos had been promptly circulated across 
the state. 

A few days later, a teletype from the sheriff of a 
very small town came in. It read as follows: I duly 
received the pictures of the six wanted felons whose 
capture is desired. I have arrested five of them, and 
the sixth is now under observation and will soon be 
apprehended. 


The HUSTLER Dictionary defines gynecologist as: a 
crack investigator. 


After 24 years of marriage, the biker’s old lady hauled 
his ass into divorce court. When the judge asked why 
she was seeking a divorce, she replied, “The worthless 
son of a bitch hasn’t spoken to me since our wedding, 
Your Honor.” 

The surprised judge turned to the biker and asked, “Is 
that true? You haven’t spoken to your wife in 24 years?” 

“Yeah, that’s right, Judge,” replied the biker. “I 
didn’t want to interrupt her.” 


Twe voters were in complete disagreement about Dan 
Quayle’s intellectual capabilities. Finally, the pro- 
Quayle voter said, “He may not be awfully smart, but at 
least he speaks his mind!” 

“That’s true,” shot back the other, “and that’s why 
he’s known as a man of very few words!” 


84 


Biz John bought his son a pet parrot. Junior loved the 
parrot so much that he was spending more time with it 
than with his friends. 

Junior came home one day and found his bird lying 
on the bottom of the cage with its legs in the air. 

With tears streaming down his face, Junior looked at 
his father and wailed, “What are we going to do?” 

Devastated by the look of grief on his son’s face, Big 
John said, “Don’t worry, Junior, we’re gonna have the 
best parrot funeral this town has ever seen. We’re gonna 
build a little parrot coffin, invite all your friends to a 
week-long viewing, serve ice cream and cake, chips and 
dip, candy and soda and anything else you want.” 

Just then the parrot jumped up, flew around the cage, 
hopped up on its perch and started singing. Totally 
taken by surprise, Big John exclaimed, “Holy shit! 
What do you think about that?” 

Junior considered for a moment and replied, “Fuck 
it; let’s kill it.” 


Brestion: What three words do you not want to hear 
while you’re making love? 
Answer: Honey, I’m home! 


Three hermits inhabiting a cave rarely ever spoke. One 
day a horse wandered into their abode. 

More than a year later, one of the hermits remarked, 
“That was a fine-looking brown horse.” 

After another year passed, the second hermit said, “It 
was white, not brown.” 

Two years later, the third hermit piped up, “If there’s 
going to be this constant arguing, I’m leaving!” 


Bieriton: Why do Iraqi tanks have rearview mirrors? 
Answer: So they can keep an eye on the battle. 


Vines buddies were chugging a few pitchers at the local 
saloon and soon started bragging about their virility. 
Bob puffed out his chest and proudly announced that he 
had 12 little rugrats. Not to be outdone, Mike loudly 
boasted that he had 14 in his brood. 

Mark, the third guy, said nothing until after some 
prodding, when he sheepishly admitted that he only 
had two kids himself. His buddies started laughing 
their asses off and cracking wise about his manhood. 
“Just two?” Mike sneered. “Shit, bro, what the hell’s 
your problem?” 

Mark took another drink and said, “Well, hell, my 
old lady’s fat, dumb and ugly—and I’m the only one 
around who’ll fuck her.” 


HUSTLER Humor jokes are sent to us by our readers. 
If you've heard a gut-buster lately, why not send it 
our way? Submit your jokes on 3" X 5" cards, mailed 
in a sealed envelope, to HUSTLER Humor, 9171 
Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 300, Beverly Hills, CA 
90210. If your joke is selected, we'll send you a check 
for $50. Sorry — we cannot return submissions. & 


JUNE HUSTLER 


“Honey — before I put that thing in my body, I gotta make peace with the Lord!” 


G™ WE al 


ee, | i cc 
Wks Ge ER E 


ERP ty 


the distinction was cut in 
dried: Bad girls put out snatch, 
and good girls stopped shy of 
a handjob. Good girls were of 
no concern. Times change. 


Today, even good girls indulge in horizontal de- 
lights. In fact, no self-regarding girl considers 
herself truly “good” until she has drenched her 
Marimekko down comforter in a G-spot geyser. 


The male is confused. He has trouble distin- 
guishing Madonna from whore. The rewards and 
hazards of the opposing lady-types are unclear to 
him. He needs help. Boudoir angel or bed devil: 
Which will best suit his needs and abilities? 

HOW’S THE SEX?: A cock is a sightless, 
deaf entity, relying on tactile sensations alone 
for its impressions of the current environment. If 
the surroundings are dripping, warm and grip- 
ping, the penis demands no further knowledge 
of the universe. Good chick, bad chick—quali- 
tative labels mean nothing to an immersed dick, 
and it’s a good thing they don’t. 

But what of the shaggy male head that re- 
mains above the covers, staring down into the 
soul of the panting, belly-rippling she-ride 
bouncing on the box-spring trampoline be- 
neath him? Surely, at some moment between 
stroke and thrust, the male asks himself: Js she 
moral, immoral, amoral perhaps? Actually, 
he would be more likely to be considering 
equations of quantum physics. He is, after all, 

fucking the broad. He knows already if she’s 
being good or if she’s being bad. 

The Good Girl Fuck: Good girls believe in 
romance, silk sheets and lingering soul-to- 
soul kisses in an ambience of warm shadows. 
Good girls also believe in mixing aerobics 
with every physical aspect of their lives; thor- 
ough cross-training is recommended before 
jumping to the four-poster mat with one of 
these ebullient, good-health squeezes. Sex 
with a good girl is clean, fresh and fun. 

The Bad Girl Fuck: While the good girl is 
all wrapped up in satin and Victoria’s Secret, 
the bad girl is revealed in homemade crotch- 
less pantyhose. Her bedside table is more 
likely to contain a string of anal beads than a 
selection of condoms. The good girl prides 
herself on wearing pearls; the bad girl will 
defiantly lie still for the application of a 

string of pearls. Bad-girl sex is dirty, rotted 
and vicious. 

OUTWARD APPEARANCE: Is she tanta- 
lizingly wholesome? Take a look. 


. Good Girl Style: Watch for nonchalantly 
ALEX MARVEL ° ILLUSTRATION BY GEORGANNE DEEN 


perfect posture clad in conservative, sensible, 
fully functional attire. She may show fine- 
honed calves, a hint of fondle-bait thigh, with 
a straining bodice in front and a muted 
voluptuousness holding up her rear, but a 
good girl knows that her best asset is always 
her smile. Don’t be put off by her display of 
expertly executed and maintained orthodon- 
tia. In the proper circumstances, she bites. 
Bad Girl Style: The cocked-hip strumpet 
can be spotted a mile away, and she likes it 
that way. Conspicuous even in a crowd of 
her garish, siren-sexed ilk, the bad girl 
exudes a pheromone-rich aura of sensual 
notoriety. The same neon lipstick blazoned 
across her pouty, sneering mouth scrawls 
her attributes in every men’s-room stall she 
visits. Her hair is always in some state of 
disarray, as if she has just gotten out of bed 
but has not slept in a week. A bad girl 
knows that her most fetching asset is her six- 
inch stiletto heels. That’s why she seldom 
showers; she’d have to take the shoes off. 
THE PUSSY HAS PERKS: There’s 
more to a girl than just sex. For instance, 
she might also have her own car. Some 
women, good and bad, offer so much be- 


TIGHT Pussy 
1 INSURANCE 


88 


yond their whirlpool of passion flesh that 
the male is drawn back to visit again and 
again, sometimes up to three and four times. 

Good Girl Bonuses: Aside from the obvi- 
ous comforts of hygienic linen and a func- 
tioning dishwasher, the good girl has been 
steadily employed since graduation from 
finishing school and is fully self-supporting 
through a family trust fund. Her refrigerator 
always contains food, much of which she 
is willing to have the maid prepare at three 
in the moming. The good girl’s family tree 
is laden with ripe, juicy business con- 
tacts, dangling just within reach of the 
entrepreneurial sport willing to make the 
stretch from good-time fling to serious thing. 

Bad Girl Bonuses: Though the bad girl is 
privately cleaner than her public persona 
might indicate, she is neither so fussy nor so 
filthy that any of her close men friends would 
hesitate to wipe his dick on her pillowcase. 
The bad girl generally has enough alimony 
to preclude charging rent upon her dick 
dwelling. Bad girls are also known to receive 
regular bundles of money from home, 
stay-out-of-town checks. The bad girl’s 
refrigerator, though it might be unplugged, 


always contains alcoholic beverages, at the 
very least a half-finished quart of beer. 

CHOOSING A RIDE: Deciding be- 
tween a good girl and a bad girl is a little 
like shopping for a new automobile. When 
faced with the choice between a Rolls- 
Royce and a Lamborghini, most men 
would opt for a two-car garage. Women, 
however, are not so snugly housed side by 
side. Generally concentration upon a single 
type must be made. Before beginning his 
selection process, the smart shopper will 
take a look at himself, at what he can 
appear to offer a female, and what he will 
actually give to her. 

Good Girl Consumer Profile: Some men 
convince themselves that they can appreci- 
ate a woman as a human being first and as 
a penis toy second. Such men recognize a 
woman as a thinking person by the way 
she nods emphatically as the man recounts 
his conquest in the workplace. Her sense 
of humor is also valued—every time he 
tells another stale joke. Good girls hate this 
kind of guy. Good girls know that no fel- 
lowship exists between two people of com- 
plementary gender until the sexual juice 
has been drained, allowing them to see one 
another without the sheen of erotic expec- 
tation. They want a man who’s honest and 
intelligent enough to recognize this simple 
truth, and has the dick to act upon it. 

Bad Girl Consumer Profile: Through 
misdirected religious training or gullible 
viewing of television docudrama, a seg- 
ment of the male population persists in be- 
lieving that so-called fallen women are in 
need of being elevated. These dick-wield- 
ing do-gooders answer the call to save 
damsels in distress, hoping to wet the penis 
at the same time. They regale the bad girl 
with visions of a higher plane of physical 
soul-love expression between two people 
on the same quest for positive carnal kar- 
ma. The bad girl will excuse herself to get 
cigarettes, though she has a full pack in her 
purse. She may be bad, but she is not dumb 
or crazy. She knows why men and women 
are attracted to one another, and she prefers 
a guy who cuts out the mumbo jumbo. 

WOMEN HAVE NEEDS TOO: Every- 
body, even good girls and bad girls, wants 
something from somebody else, which is a 
good thing. Without selfish interests, no- 
body would have anything to do with any- 
body else, and human intercourse would 
cease to exist. Women, corn fed or pill 
head, are all looking for a satisfactory man. 
Of course, one woman’s satisfaction trig- 
gers another’s gag reaction. 

A Good Girl Wants: The good girl val- 
ues security, consistency and a prognosis 
for more of the same. Character is impor- 
tant to a good girl, as well as looks, health, 
height and hair color. The good girl is a 
breeder, always with one eye on a future 


JUNE HUSTLER 


(E> Ge 


SILLAN 


populated with her idealized spawn. Sus- 
taining the good girl’s vision for any ex- 
tended length of time is more than most 
men are willing to do, but the illusion is 
quite supportable for three to five nights. 

A Bad Girl Wants: A man who'll bring 
around his own six-pack at least every sec- 
ond or third visit. The bad girl judges a 
man by the tightness of his Spandex pants, 
the relative sharpness of his pointy-toed 
boots and the quantity of mousse in his hair. 
He should be a star, but since he so often is 
not a star, she will settle for a star in train- 
ing, but only until he has worn and ruined 
all her good blouses and underclothes. 

TO CATCH A PIECE: Just like in real 
estate, location is everything, or at least the 
start of everything. 

The Good Girl Pick-Up: The good girl is 
most open to the scheming cad when she is 
alone upon the comfort of familiar turf, 
such as in the shoe department at I. Magnin. 

The shoe-department gambit is as old as 
playing footsie, but will provide any heel a 
toe-hold, if executed with sufficient soul. 
Simply approach the good girl as she 
browses through the pumps and request her 


90 


help and opinion, two things an upstanding 
woman is always eager to give a man. 

“My little sister,” explains the cad, 
“needs an attractive, sensible pair of shoes 
for the Dancing With Wolves charity screen- 
ing tonight. Your taste is obviously impec- 
cable. Which of these styles would best suit 
a young lady of breeding and dignity?” 

The good woman’s opinion is, of 
course, worthless, but the cad listens as if it 
means something. 

Turning the tables, he courteously asks 
what type of shoe she is looking for. She is 
reticent. He picks particular shoes and, act- 
ing as intermediary between her and the 
salesman, insists she try them on. A woman 
is wholly susceptible to flattery as she 
models increasingly alluring heels. She will 
pivot and see the cad in a light of ease, 
charm and sophistication. He is concerned, 
helpful and considerate (remember the little 
sister); he is masterful (witness his handling 
of the sales clerks); he is a raging cauldron 
of brash, assertive confidence (she knows 
what he’s after). He’s as good as wriggling 
his little piggies between her thighs. 

The Bad Girl Pick-Up: Every time the 
{ 


tii” 


bad girl buckles down to go straight, she 
gets a job, and ends up in the unemploy- 
ment office. Still, she never knows which 
line to queue up in. She stands out like a 
voluptuous thumb. 

“Quite a squint,” observes a predatory 
male, sidling up to her. “Couldn’t help 
noticing.” 

“Noticing?” responds the bad girl, her 
gum gone dead within her mouth. She no- 
tices him: a grease-sheened hairball in a 
shiny suit—an authority figure. “Noticing 
what?” she challenges. 

“That’s the nature of these occupational 
disabilities,” confides her obsequious inter- 
locutor. “They creep up on you and— 
boom—you’re unemployable. People get 
their eyes ruined, get laid off, and never 
collect a cent. A crime.” 

“Collect a cent?” echoes the bad girl, 
touched to her cash-ready core. 

“What was it? Computer screen?” 
guesses the confident male, slipping a 
glossy business card into her cigarette 
hand. “They had you staring into it, no 
glare filter; the bastards. They should pay.” 

“The only glare was when we danced 
over by the lights down at the end of the 
bar,” the bad girl replies, studiously mov- 
ing her lips as she ponders his card. 
“What’s a workers’ claims consultant?” 
she muses. “ You some kind of lawyer?” 

“I’m sort of like a lawyer,” he admits. 
“You’re a dancer! I should have known. 
That posture,” he elaborates. “Your spine has 
obviously undergone trauma due to a sub- 
standard stage surface. You, I believe, are 
eligible for a substantial settlement. The first 
step is to take the pressure off those verte- 
brae. We have to get you flat on your back.” 

She pockets his card. 

START SOMEWHERE: Porn movies— 
the source of our theoretical understanding 
of sexual relations—rarely include the 
real-life ritual of foreplay. XXX entertain- 
ment plunges straight into anal penetration 
without so much as a preparatory lube job, 
grounds for criminal prosecution in most 
states. Don’t risk arrest by skipping a few 
simple warm-up drills. 

Good Girl Moisteners: Sumptuous din- 
ners, stunning floral bouquets, gallant 
chivalry—none of that bullshit is around 
to help a guy once he’s used it to get the 
good girl alone in bed. 

Conventional wisdom has the good-girl 
libido running on mood and romance, a 
squalid fiction she actually believes, at 
least the first two or three times she bones 
anew guy. 

A slow but steady course is recommend- 
ed. She should receive one lingering, pas- 
sion-filled kiss, broken off with a pang of 
longing, prior to arriving in the bedroom. 

Move on to fervid but serene clutching of 
her hands, accompanied by an emboldened 


JUNE HUSTLER 


“Oh, shit! Horny and on the rag! I'm dead meat! ' 


but shy gaze into her eyes. Proceed with 
abandon and control in insistent gentleness. 
The man’s mouth should be quivering but 
steady; his breath quick but deep. The inan 
should draw back and advance, a trick no 
good-girl pelvis can resist. As she arches up 
to meet him, she utters those little words of 
good-girl surrender: “Wait here. Put on this 
condom while I go slip in my diaphragm.” 
Bad Girl Moistener: Room-temperature, 
plain-wrap vodka goes a long way toward 
loosening up a bad girl’s tight spot, but it’s 
not everything. A television is also needed. 
The rock-video channel will summon a pa- 
rade of bad-girl archetypes—atmosphere 
bimbos—guaranteed to trigger her mood 
for doing something outrageous and bad. 
The male video performers give an 
indication of what the bad girl expects in 
the manner of physical treatment. She 
wants a hand that’s punishing but caress- 
ing to shoot unflinchingly but with all 
due respect to the lox box ensconced in 
her fishnet pantyhose and squeeze with 
fingers insensate but sensitive. 
As her conqueror/coconspirator con- 
tracts his devilish but cherubic face in a 


Coa aT) 
MARRIAGE 
COUNSELOR 

“r7 


ww ©&Y 


grimace and grin of malevolence and wor- 
ship, her crotch responds to the cruel kind- 
ness of his clawing but stroking fingers. In 
the radiance of his sneering but smiling 
face, she melts, panting in his ear: “I don’t 
got any rubbers, but the discharge is most- 
ly cleared up, if you want to chance it.” 

HEADS, YOU WIN: A female’s value 
is in large part determined by her blowjob 
proficiency. Since there are by definition 
no bad blowjobs, any female can be good 
for something. 

Good Girls Suck: The good girl savors 
penile form and texture as she would relish 
the aesthetic of a Henry Moore sculpture. 
The refraction of light from the spit-slick 
shaft is a delight to her heightened per- 
spective. Throating is a challenge, like 
playing scales to a flautist. Spuzz is an 
acquired taste, as are some cheeses, truly 
appreciated only by the gourmand. To the 
good girl, sucking dick is a cultural event, 
her contribution to the fine arts. 

Bad Girls Suck: Chortling snorkel meat 
is one of the bad girl’s most favorite pas- 
times. She is proficient to the point of 
impersonal, assembly-line professionalism. 


“What? She won't swallow cum? Dump the bitch!” 


92 


Still, resist the impulse to zip up, stand 
back and shout: Next! 

Sucking a dork off, to the bad girl’s way 
of thinking, is better than lying beneath a 
sprawled out, heaving, sweaty, self-regard- 
ing bulk. Head keeps him from planting 
the seeds of a yeast infection or worse in 
her womb. She can close her eyes and pre- 
tend he’s anybody she wants him to be, 
just like he’s doing. 

DON’T JUST FUCK ONE: Everybody— 
male, female, good or bad—suspects that 
their sex life could be improved with the 
addition of some twisted activity waiting 
to be discovered just beyond the realm of 
their imagination. All that’s needed is a 
wealth of inspiration, or a little boredom. 

Good Girl Kink: She may deny it, but 
any good girl worth her therapist’s fees is 
turned-on by the thought of bondage. That 
doesn’t mean she wants to be restrained 
with coat hangers, head shaven, as a 
Ripple bottle is skewered into her twat by 
a gang of wilding Albanian dwarves and a 
camcorder captures the action for Ameri- 
cass Filthiest Home Videos. Wrists lightly 
wrapped in Sulka ties, she wants to be 
blindfolded by a Chanel scarf as a mysteri- 
ous, growling intruder lashes her unmerci- 
fully, providing of course that his whip of 
choice be his tongue. 

Bad Girl Kink: As might be expected, 
the bad girl also is into bondage. She will 
happily tie a man up and remove his pants. 
His wallet is easier to get at that way. The 
restrained sexual explorer is welcome to 
beg and grovel to his heart’s release; it 
won’t bother her a bit. She’s turned on J 
Love Lucy and has completely forgotten 
about the naked mook shackled to the 
plumbing under her kitchen sink. A funny 
smell has been coming from the kitchen; 
rather than face the task of cleaning the 
cooking area, she packs her belongings into 
shopping bags and vacates the apartment. 
Her bondage slave is discovered three days 
later by the apartment manager and held 
accountable for her six months’ back rent. 

LUST IS ENOUGH: Women refuse to 
remain in a casual relationship with a man 
once they have mixed and spilled his ge- 
netic cocktail. The female can’t just allow 
herself to be used as a wad sop, the way 
nature intended. She must fall in love. If 
she can, she’ ll make you fall in it too. 

Dumping the Good Girl: Once the good 
girl has given a man the number to the di- 
rect line to her desk at work, it’s time to 
hang her up. Treating her to a marathon of 
Ron Jeremy videos will do the trick. 

Dumping the Bad Girl: The bad girl re- 
veals an unhealthy dependence by asking a 
swain to keep the number of her bail 
bondsman in a safe place. The wise man 
simply loses that number, and sooner or 
later never sees her again. % 


JUNE HUSTLER 


“I said I wanted a SCUD Light!” 


PANTY RAID 


= 
=r 
~ 


“We dig men, all right?” insists sultry Tanya, a native of New. 
Orleans. “We're just fooling around.” Her golden-hair 
girlfriend agrees. “Bumping bush reminds me of my sorority 
days. It’s a kick to be reminded now and then. There’s just 
“alothing like the feel of fat tits rubbing nipples together.” 


Photography by M 


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Morales was never the leader of the 
FALN, nor its chief bombmaker. The 
FALN, from its inception in 1970, decided 
that it must have a collective leadership in 
order to survive. Having one sole figure as 
leader, a single arrest or death could cripple 
the organization. Everyone, Morales main- 
tains, was involved in decision making and 
explosives assemblage. He was not person- 
ally responsible for any of the bombings that 
took place after 1979, but supports them 
wholeheartedly. The liberation of Puerto 
Rico was a goal to be met at any cost. 

Today, in permanent exile as a guest of 
the Cuban government, Morales’s basic 
needs are met, but not by much. He has lit- 
tle clothing and little money. He spends his 
time studying, going to the beach, swim- 
ming, reading, visiting friends and keeping 
in touch with the independistas of the 
1950s who come to visit him when travels 
bring them to Havana. He advises nation- 
alists who seek him for counsel. Cuban liv- 
ing has made him a relatively relaxed per- 
son. “Before I got to Cuba, I was always 
moving my head, looking for cops,” he 
says with a grin. “I still move my head, but 
it’s to look at the girls.” He expresses inter- 
est in an American woman from California 
who had come to a May 1990, week-long 
Malcolm X symposium—an undying rad- 
ical, even in his carnal tastes. 

For better or for worse, women have 
played an important role in his life. He 
recently came across a New York Times 
clip dated May 26, 1979, headlined 
“Morales Fled From the U.S., Phone 
Caller Tells FBI,” in which his legal wife, 
Dylcia Pagan, appears in a photograph. 
“There’s that bitch,” he mutters under his 
breath. Pagan, now serving a 55-year 
prison term in California for her connec- 
tion to the FALN, claimed that Susan 
Tipograph had smuggled bolt cutters into 
Bellevue by strapping them to her leg. 

Says Tipograph: “I was followed for 
days after his escape. The next morning 
I was served at 7:30 with a subpoena 
returnable at 10 a.m. that same day.” 
The subpoena was for Tipograph to 
appear before a grand jury, but it was 
later dropped, lacking even a shred of 
evidence regarding Tipograph’s FALN 
connections. Years later, Tipograph is 
still angry. “Now, if they say I am 
happy that he escaped from prison, they 
are right on the money, and I plead 
guilty to that. When Morales escaped, | 
was very pleased he was no longer in 
jail. I said it at the time, and I will say it 


HUSTLER JUNE 


explosion? Morales brushes them off as 
casualties of war. “Since when have the 
police been responsive to the needs of the 
Puerto Rican community?” And as for the 


_ three other people who died in the blast? 


now. But I in no way helped in his escape.” 

“T find the charges of terrorism laugh- 
able,” says Morales, from Havana. “How 
can I be a terrorist when I am fighting 
against a government that has committed 
so many crimes against the peoples of the 
world? It’s true that we attacked multina- 
tional corporations, banks and military 
bases. Military bases that are used to attack 
nations like Vietnam, Cuba, Nicaragua and 
the Dominican Republic. If they say we 
bombed an office building, a transnational 
company, it’s true—but [we’d bomb them] 
only at night, when the building was empty. 
We are talking about economic damage, 
not human lives.” Morales feels that the 
companies targeted for FALN’s heavy 
arsenal of explosives were responsible, 
because of such practices as blatant price- 
cutting of Third World products, for the 
poor conditions that people face in those 
nations. “We fight back against that, and 
they call us terrorists. But it is us who are 
fighting the terror.” 

What about the policemen who were 
injured, including a rookie Puerto Rican 
cop, Angel Poggi, who died in a 1975 


“Those who died were businessmen who 
contributed to the debasement of Third 
World peoples. Through their insensitive 
policies, they signed their own fate.” 

Who knows what better life fate 
might have dealt William Guillermo 
Morales, without the interference of his 
own policies? 

The federal government’s clampdown 
on the FALN has made the organization 
and its sympathizers move away from 
armed struggle toward a more political 
route. A vote is scheduled for June 4, 
1991, to determine whether Puerto Rico 
will become an independent republic, the 
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can commonwealth. Elmer Toro, a former 
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rubber band from the lower-right pocket 
of his white guayabera, inserts a fork 
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NE X T MON TH 


HUSTLER 


July HUSTLER on sale May 21, 1991 


ICING ON EVERY PAGE 

July 1991 marks the 17th anniversary of HUSTLER Magazine, 
and to celebrate, we’ve gathered the sweetest party favors of all. 
Two lip-smacking brunettes tangle long, silky legs around the 
probing lens of a bare-ass, blond photographer; a clit-struck, 
female smut exec points her projector at her private, nipple- 
studded flesh screen; a fresh, big-titted Swede spreads buttered 
thighs with cream; and two hard-dicked grad students eat out the 
dean of sex-ed in a commencement exercise that features the best 
of cunt cuisine. That’s HUSTLER in July. Lap it up. 


SAND TRAP 

A Filipino sentenced by a blind judge to six months in jail for 
possessing a picture of his girlfriend in a bikini and a Bedouin 
arrested for forcibly raping a goat are two of the unlikely 
characters writer Dennis Logan encounters while incarcerated 
in a Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, prison on a minor dope bust. 
Watching The Waltons on TV by day and hunting desert rats by 
night are a couple of the sandpit diversions he describes in 
Before the Storm, a gripping and often wacky account of a visit 
to hell on earth. 


THE POOP ON POON 

What in God’s name makes a smut goddess’s fuckstrings throb? 
The definitive word is finally out. Writer John Mescal asked 
more than 30 of the superstar women of porn what a man can say 
or do to get inside their pants. The answers are simple and 
astounding. Thanks to Mescal, Tori Welles, Christy Canyon, 
Jeanna Fine and more, HUSTLER Magazine presents The Right 
Stuff and proclaims an end to fuckless Saturday nights— forever. 


TOP IT OFF 

The delirious effect of the revolutionary, 17-year HUSTLER 
liberation of American libidos is duly celebrated in Paul 
Desmond’s Sex Play for July, “Today a Skin Rag—Tomorrow 
the World”; the HUSTLER cartoon staff assembles a hearty 
passel of its favorite gut-busters; Bits & Pieces mines a major 
laugh lode as it skews its eye at “HUSTLER Through the Ages”; 
and Beaver Hunt presents its next-to-last finalist in the $5,000 
Beaver Hunt Amateur Photo Contest. All to wish HUSTLER a 
very happy 17th. And all on the newsstand in May. Be our guest. 


aa ))))) ND 


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