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WARNING: Material of an adult nature. This literature is not intended for minors, and under no cire

to view it, possess it or place orders for merchandise offered herein.

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VOLUME 18

NUMBER 13

My name is Gennifer.
And | am a slut."

*Porody. Gennifer Flowers never admitted to being a slut.

And a media event.
And a political player.
And a rich woman.
Thank you, Bill Clinton.
And thank you, STAR.

Tired of working your ass off behind a desk? Then get that ass in the air and
earn big bucks the Gennifer Flowers way. Fill up your pussy and fill out this
coupon. Mail it to Sluts Unanimous, c/o STAR Magazine, 660 White Plains

Road, Tarrytown, NY 10591. Don’t delay. Slut yourself today!

Yes! | am a slut!

Name

Address

1 Person | intend to disgrace

|
! Details of our affair (To aid our editorial stoff, please use separate sheet,
| 1 soiled with your perfume, and measurements and polaroid, if possible.)

: Please help me to make up to $250,000.

HUSTLER:

LARRY FLYNT
editor and publisher

ALLAN MacDONELL
executive editor

JAMES BAES
director of photography

RONNIE DRAMA
art director

TIM CONAWAY, MINETTE WATKINS
humor and cartoon editors

TIM POWER, SCOTT SCHALIN
associate editors

MAL O'REE
entertainment editor

DAVID S, MOSK

¥ OWITZ
research director

BRETT WILHOIT, copy editor
CATRINA MASON, LESLIE C. DUNN,
editorial assistants

COMPUTER GRAPHICS
DAVID BUCHANAN, network systems manager
QUITA SAXON, LEITA WICHMAN,
BOBBIE KAMINSKI, assistant managers

PHOTOGRAPHY
CLIVE McLEAN, senior photographer
MATTI KLATT, LAD! VON JANSKY,
photographers
BETH MORALES, talent coordinator
KENNETH DeMARTINES, production designer
JULIE KENNEDY, photo administrator
STEVE HOPKINS, studio administrator

PRODUCTION
GREGORY ROSATI, production coordinator

ADVERTISING
PAUL ADAMS, national advertising director,
(310) 858-7155
MARTHA REQUENA, advertising production
coordinator

SUBSCRIPTIONS
IRENE GRADSTEIN, subscriptions director
For customer service, call (818) 760-8983

The U.S. edition pleat eo dal iesteeg yh crooning aid dred
exception, Twice a month in Kareg diy Bye Publications, Inc., 917!
Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 300, Beverty Hills, CA 90210. Copyright @ 1982. All
rights reserved. Nothing may be reproduced in whole of in part without
written permission of the publisher Return must accompany all
manuscripts, drawings, photos, etc., i fins dehehod returned, and HG
Publications, Inc. assumes for unsolicited material. Letters

assumes no
sent to HUSTLER will be treated as unconditionally assigned for publication
~ we 9a purposes and as subject ete HUSTLER’s right to edit and
editorially, Any similarity and places depicted in

the Retin sexdone ot Bde ascacia sat comes varinon is olson Arh
coincidental, phere mode eh eymnacyosear hese slice
noted. Neither said photos nor words used to describe them are meant to
depict models" arid coudees couatirata peseaaneas

HUSTLER JUNE 1982 VOLUME 18 NUMBER 13

Single copy, U.S. Edition $4.95, International Edition $5.95 (add $1 postage
jwelve-issue subscription is $39.95. These

POSTMASTER: Send change of
pov teenies aeap edad my far yeaa tip dicen
additional mailing offices. Printed in USA. HUSTLER spade US
Patent and Trademark Office: The International Edition of HUSTLER is
published monthly by Island Distributing Company, Ltd., P.O. Box 1803, Grand
Cayman, 8.W.L, with permission of HG Publications, Inc.
All nude models are 18 years of age or older.
Cover photo by Clive McLean

ASSHOLE OF THE

ONTH

The measure of a man is not always
reflected accurately in his stature as
a source of stupid shit. A small, in-
significant speck of a person, for in-
stance, can take an overdose of
mental laxative, merge his cerebral
output with his rectal functions and
be magnified beyond all propor-
tion. Such is the caliber of Dr. Brian
Sando, a meager blackhead on the
great ass of humanity, but HUSTLER
Magazine's Asshole of the Month
for June 1992 nonetheless.

Dr. Sando achieved his butt-wind
infamy as senior medical director of
the Australian Olympic Federation's
basketball program.

Australia has been plagued by
disadvantage from its inception.
Originally conceived as an open-
range penal colony to house the
moral and cranial defectives of a
declining British Empire, which was
desperate for a remote continent
upon which to dump its overflow-
ing prisons, insane asylums and
syphilis wards, Oz Land has strug-
gled to be recognized as a legiti-
mate nation of sentient beings
After obscure decades being
snubbed by the enlightened world,
the Australians, largely due to
high-profile cultural ambassadors
such as AC/DC, Olivia Newton-
John, Paul Hogan and Deidre
Holland, were finally accorded full
citizenship in the 20th century.

Alas, the motion of progress has
been reversed by Dr. Brian Sando, a
man responsible for singlehandedly
smearing Australia's international
image with the twin stains of igno-
rance and arrogance.

Dr. Sando took his great step

backward with a foot in his mouth,
recommending that his country boy-
cott the United States Olympic team
if HIV-positive basketball-great
Magic Johnson plays in the Summer
Games. Sando claims that Johnson
represents a realistic threat of pass-
ing on the infection to opposing play-
ers. “| would certainly recommend
that our basketballers not compete
with a team of which Magic Johnson
was a member,” Sando pontifi-
cated. “That risk—even though it's
small—you cannot absolutely say
it's never going to occur.”

What Dr. Sando says bears some
truth. However, the notion of Magic
passing off the AIDS virus to anoth-
er player on the basketball court
is incredibly remote, only slightly

DR. BRIAN SANDO
> .

“

more likely than the Aussie team’s
chances of reaching the finals.

Sando’s stupidity and fear, to
judge by the reaction of some
Australian team members, are much
more contagious than Magic's virus.
"| would have thought that in any
contact sport, anybody HIV positive
would basically not play,” theorized
one Down Under player who must
also think that a slam dunk is
what will happen to his fudge hole
against the U.S. hoopsters. “It’s
common sense.”

Common sense, as team medic
Sando might point out to his boys,
would be to simply keep Magic's
dick out of their mouths, if they
should find themselves so lucky as
to get close enough to touch him.

On February 9, 1992, the National
Basketball Association held its
annual All-Star game in Orlando,
Florida. Two dozen of the best bas-
ketball players in the world, if not
the two dozen best basketball play-
ers in the world, got on the court to
compete with and against the man
whom little Dr. Brian Sando would
label a pariah.

Magic Johnson, HIV and all,
played 29 dazzling minutes, led his
team to a 153-to-115 victory and
scored 25 points, including three
consecutive three-point goals to
close out the contest. For his ef-
forts, Magic was awarded the
game's Most Valuable Player
award. He had nine assists, but did
not pass off any diseases.

Magic Johnson wanted fans to
know that people with the HIV virus
can “be productive and run and
jump and do things.” This message
may not save the universe, but it is
certainly something the world can
benefit from knowing.

Magic is in a unique position
among the millions who have or will
contract the AIDS virus. He is loved
and admired all around the globe.
He has an opportunity to bring an
awareness of dignity, compassion
and understanding to victims of a
modern plague who are too often
met with superstition and panic that
belong in the Dark Ages, or in the
offices of Dr. Brian Sando. Sports
fans of the world have a right to see
living proof that anyone they love
has a chance to “run and jump and
do things,” HIV or no. We need to
know this more than we need to
know that Sando is an Asshole.

Cardinal Roger Mahony: We remember
Mahony for urging Catholics of his Los
Angeles diocese to picket stores that sell
magazines such as HUSTLER. The cardinal
has gone national by proposing a code for
Hollywood movies that woul

ban, along
with almost everything else of interest, sug-
gestive dancing or lustful kissing. The cardi-
nal’s halo is brown, wrinkled and stinky, and
he’s sitting on it.

Gennifer Flowers: Under ordinary circum-

HUSTLER JUNE

FARTS IN THE WIND

stances, a hussy is a perfectly honorable
thing to be, but Ms. Flowers has turned loose
virtue into a conniving, scheming disgrace.
Her exaggerations of her past c ntials and
her misrepresentation of her present motives
conspire to give sluts a bad name. Not only is
she two-faced, she’s two-orificed—a cunt
and an Asshole.

Kiichi Miyazawa: The Japanese prime minis-

ter has further alienated one of his country’s
largest markets by asserting that Americans
have lost their work ethic and no longer live
by the sweat of their brow. Americans, ac-
cording to Miyazawa, are addicted to the
quick buck. Miyazawa, who was forced to
resign as finance minister over a bribery
scandal, fails to point out that his own politi-
cal career has been surrounded by graft and
poms and that Assholes are just as likely to
almond-shape as round.

February - Berenice and Margret
Bubble Trouble

January - Angela
Gone Fishing

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October - Maggie i Decen i
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- Jeanna Fine
Feeling Fine

~ Can you spot the Antichrist in this
Continues fo disregard a nation plunging toward economic depression and racial civil war. If Parody. Photo not toe token seriously. Presidential
eS | . on ad nt head pasted onto our model's body. Text to be tak
Teelected to a certain office, this Antichrist would coast through the final term much like its cu cuiae seararake me

predecessor did. Good luck, and spot the Antichrist.

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HEY, You!

| have a _ and | will kill your ugly ass
[WEAPON TYPE] [ETHNIC TYPE)

if you don’t hand me $ in unmarked bills right now, you motherfuckin’
(MONEY AMOUNT)

{REPEAT ETHNIC SLUR)

By the way, my name is , ond I'd prefer to share a cell
(YOUR NAME)

with a in . Now move it!!
(SPECIFY RACE, COLOR, CREED) ~ (PRISON OF PREFERENCE)

de his mask, Chris

visualizes himself with

In a world

devoid of

time and space, he
fulfills his every desire
for as long as he

can last.

But wait! Chris has lost

Chris is an agoraphobiac. He
has a permanent delusional
fear of leaving his home. But
Chris still has the same
urges as any healthy man.
And now he’s found a way to
get it: The Agoraphobiac’s
Sex Mask. Chris
demonstrates how the mask
lets his otherwise limp
imagination fulfill his
deepest fantasies.

DO YOU KNOW ME?

In the early ’80s your government portrayed
me as a violent, neo-Nazi, Colombian drug
smuggler. The DEA spent nearly a decade
hunting me down, while my Medellin cartel :
smuggled nearly 60 tons of coca into
> your United States. Now I'm hes

(ee * star witness in the Noriega

CAPRA: WES 9

rm j trial. But people stil don't know who Fam.
That's why | carry this! “the American Excess
| card. It’s better hao of Joil Free”
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ARLOS
LEHDER

i Borody. Not to be taken seriously. Convicted drug czar’
ardYomber™ 5 a0. 980. ©. fied pasted onto ourymodel’s Body.

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: HUSTLER P.O. BOX 16568 NORTH HOLLYWOOD CA 81616
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FUNNY SMELL

I recently came across one of HUSTLER’s
old issues—the one in which Bits &
Pieces parodied Saddam Hussein and how
he could have beat the U.S. by unleashing
his so-called ugly women and the so-
called offensive body odors of his people
(“How Saddam Hussein Could Beat the
US.,” Bits & Pieces, December °90). You
people just don’t realize how many ugly
white women there are in the U.S. They
are so goddamn ugly, I wish they would
wear veils. Just looking at them makes me
want to get sick.

Body odor? Ha-ha-ha-ha! Well, my lit-
tle-dicked, white, American friends, don’t
you know deodorant sticks were invented
for your people? I hang out with white
people because I feel sorry for them.
Without me, they would never get any
pussy. Remember, before the Europeans
came to Persia (now Iran), the Middle
East, Africa and Asia, they had no culture,
no sciences, no medicine, no mathemat-
ics, nothing.

The only thrills you people can get is
looking at pictures of your own nude
women and jerking off, because who
wants to suck on a little, white dick? Not
even your own women. Well, have fun
jacking off. I have to go fuck the brains
out of my beautiful, white girlfriend with
my huge, colored, Persian dick. I love you
whities. You’re all fucking honkie nerds.
Get a tan. S.S.

Calgary, Canada

GOOD SMELL

I love HUSTLER Magazine. I’m a young,
white male who’s fascinated with black
women. I'd like to see more of them in your
layouts. Let’s see black women with black
women, black women with white women,
black women with white men, black women

HUSTLER JUNE

just wanna sniff those tootsies.

with black men and also black men with
white women. I'd also like to see them bare-
foot. I love feet. I love to look at beautiful
arches and cute toes. One more thing: You
should have a scratch ‘n’ sniff issue. Put a
scratch 'n’ sniff spot on a black lady’s feet. |
—C. M.
Kalamazoo, Michigan

CHOKIN’ ON MADONNA
I couldn’t help but say something about
the asshole called C. F. who complained
that your cover blurb advertising “Ma-
donna— Any Way You Want Her” result-
ed in a cheap joke instead of a legit layout
like Playboy and Penthouse once printed
(“Sucker!” Feedback, March ’92). He’s
out there sideways for chopping on the
best mag a person can fuck. Besides,
Madonna is a real trash-can slut! And
that’s where Playboy and Penthouse mags
belong—in the trash! The “Wheel”
Angola, Louisiana

Candice: Chocolate Covered

PLAIN LAZY

The other day a friend of mine gave me a
copy of HUSTLER Magazine’s October
1991 issue. I don’t buy HUSTLER and
thus was not aware of how different it is
from Playboy or Penthouse. I was not very
impressed one way or the other until I read
a story in your Hot Letters section entitled
“Plane Crazy” (“Plane Crazy,” Hot Letters,
October 91). I then became very offended.

The article was sent in by a so-called
international businessman who got held
over for a day in Paris because TWA had
overbooked his flight. Thinking himself
eternally slighted by life, he propositioned
a local French prostitute with revenge in
mind. Taking her back to her room, he
practically raped her, spit in her mouth,
urinated on her face and finally defecated
on her. He then wiped himself on her
clothing and left.

Tell me, HUSTLER, from what prison
did this disgusting human maggot es-
cape? Is this the best that your magazine
can come up with for an erotic story? The
next time I have a bad day, what do you
say I grab some helpless woman, beat the
shit out of her, rape her, then write down
all the gory details for your Hot Letters
section? Sound cool? The fact that a mag-
azine such as yours would consider what
this asshole did to that woman was erotic
is absolutely nauseating.

I’ve always been firmly opposed to
censorship, am an avid believer in the
First Amendment and am in support of

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groups such as ACT (Against Censorship
Together). However, “Plane Crazy” was
so disturbing that for the first time I really
began to question these beliefs. Were I in
a position of political power, I’d be tempt-
ed to reverse my opinions. In such a case,
HUSTLER Magazine would be number
one on my hit list.

P.S. If you have the guts to print this let-
ter, don’t edit, cut or otherwise change the
context of what I’ve said. M. B.

San Diego, California

“Plane Crazy” illustrated a world of
abuse, a cycle in which there was no
determining victim or oppressor. The air-
line screwed its clientele, the prostitute
was out to fuck over the businessman, and
the businessman did what came naturally.
The violent fantasy of raping an innocent
woman is yours, M. B.—not an explicit,
or even inherent, element of its narrative.

MARRIED MUFFSTERS

My husband and I have enjoyed HUSTLER
Magazine for many years. Your throbbing-
cock mag has taken our sexual encounters
to extreme heights of ecstasy, of which we
are not embarrassed, but too shy to share
with you on paper.

HUSTLER has inspired us so much, we
have often considered writing, but until
now never have. In wanting to make our-
selves a small part of the best fuck mag
we've ever read, we decided to come out
of the woodwork with a question.

We often take the opportunity to pick
up past issues of the hottest and raunchi-
est porn mag on the market. We recently
purchased the February 1990 issue.
Inside was an article we wished we
hadn’t missed the outcome of: the
Million-Dollar Muff offer (“Million
Dollar Muffs,” Bits & Pieces, February
*90). Did any of the 12 cunts respond
negatively or positively and flash their
gash for your hard and wet readers? We
are dying to know if she (or he: Prince!
Ha-ha!) bared his or her cunt.

P.S. Well, guys, I must say I cannot

pick up a HUSTLER without jerking off

or fucking something. Congratulations on

a job well done. From the husband of this
tight, little cunt who wrote the letter.

K. T.S.R:

Evansville, Indiana

Not even Prince had the balls to take us up
ona million. None of ‘em can come crawl-
ing for the big bucks anymore. HUSTLER
Million-Dollar Muff offer for 1992 was
reduced by the state of the national econo-
my to a measly $43.50 (“$43.50 Mufjs!”
Bits & Pieces, March '92).

HUSTLER JUNE

MENTAL PICTURE
Hi, HUSTLER. Do you know of any clubs
or organizations that feature male members
with 12" penises or longer? If so, how may
I join? Also, do you know of an exercise
that a man can do to help perform oral sex
on his own sex organ? | BL OS
Griffin, Georgia

REVERSAL OF FORTUNE

I found your editorial in the February
1992 issue on Mr. Alan M. Dershowitz
insulting and anti-Jewish (“Asshole of the
Month,” Bits & Pieces, February °92).
The type of neo-Nazi innuendos that you
use are not unique. This kind of racist
garbage appeals only to the lowest com-
mon denominator.

I don’t think I will be buying HUSTLER
in the near future, Also, it would be a great
surprise if you had the decency or balls to
print this letter. M. S.

Los Angeles, California

Attention, all disgruntled readers: Feed-
back regularly prints points of view
objecting to HUSTLER & editorial matter.
There's no need to dare us to print such
letters, or invoke a manly reaction by
doubting our testicular strength.

STEAMED BEAVER
My husband reads HUSTLER. I don’t
know why (and no, you jack pieces of shit,
I’m not ugly). I sent photos to Beaver Hunt,
and I gota call from someone at HUSTLER
who handles the photos. I expected my hus-
band to flip his wig when he saw my pic-
ture, but nothing happened. I tried again,
but this time with a friend of mine who, by
the way, is a model. Still, nothing. Some of
the ugly Okie bitches that you put in Beaver
Hunt would make anyone’s stomach turn.
Get your shit correct and dump the trash-
bag dogs. —Hot Bod
Corona, California

Have patience, Hot Bod! Each and every
Beaver Hunt applicant is verified by a
HUSTLER representative directly upon
receipt of her submission. It’s not a guar-
antee of publication. We're hoping to see

you soon.

Do you have a comment, suggestion or
complaint? We want to hear it. Send your
letters (typed or neatly handwritten) to
Feedback, HUSTLER, 9171 Wilshire
Boulevard, Suite 300, Beverly Hills, CA
90210. Include a phone number if you want

your letter considered for publication. &

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THE SHOE FITS

My father always told me to make a living
doing something I enjoy. That’s why I work
ina women’s shoe department. You could cut
a woman in half and just give me everything
below the waist, and I'd be happy forever.

Michelle was my favorite customer. She
was a wealthy woman who came into the
shop every week to spend her alimony on the
latest designer pumps. Her hair was dark,
and the dresses she wore clung to her 30-
year-old frame like a second skin. But it
was her feet—narrow and pointed —that
obsessed me. She always came in ten min-
utes before closing, to ensure that she’d be
the only customer in the shop.

On one occasion I showed Michelle
a black patent-leather high-heel model
from Spain. I knelt before her. “Try this,
madame.” She thrust her foot against my
crotch, and I removed her worn, crushed-
velvet mid-heel. The musty scent of her
silk hose slapped my nostrils. Michelle
never wore panties, allowing her well-
trimmed bush to tease beneath the sheer
stockings. Two pussy lips peeked out from
the center of the light-gray fabric.

I dug the spiked heel into the base of my
pulsing cock, and she crammed her foot
into the new shoe. The stinging pressure
against my balls forced blood into my
cock. She saw me wince and twisted her
foot with aggravating pleasure.

She stood and tested the fit while I
locked the door, to keep out other cus-
tomers. Michelle stood before a mirror and
lifted her dress, exposing the bottom half
of her buttocks. “Do they fit me?” she
asked in an affected Beverly Hills accent.
“Oui, madame,” I retorted, staying on my
knees to conceal my bulge.

HUSTLER JUNE

*
x
*
*
«
x

“aie feel a little tight, Jacques. Could
you spread them a little?”

“Oui, madame,” I said and took the
shoes to the back. Like an animal, I licked
the leather lining where her foot had been.
I unzipped my pants and stuck my dick
through the open toe, moving the smooth
leather along the length of my shaft. I was
so aroused that I didn’t even notice when
Michelle burst into the stockroom.

“Jacques!” she exclaimed.

I figured I’d just lost my most valued
customer, and my dick shriveled accord-
ingly to microscopic size. “Miss, allow me
to apologize.”

“I’ve never seen a man with the same
passion for footwear as I.... Give me that
pump,” she demanded.

I handed her the shoe off my dick, and she
unbuttoned her red dress from the top down.
Her white breasts peeked out from the fab-
ric, nipples bristling to attention in the brisk
air. She sat on a foot jockey and slid her
hand underneath her silky hose, rubbing
forcefully. She slid the sharp, pointed heel
slowly down her throat, teasing the tip with
her pointed tongue. When she removed her
hand from her stockings, a wet stain, in the
shape of Florida, covered her crotch.

I wanted to lend her a hand, but she stood
instead, flinging her dress to the floor. Wear-
ing only the silk stockings and the slick, black
pumps, she strutted around the stockroom,
digging her digits into her creamy breasts.

I was about to explode. She lifted one
leg like a pissing dog. As she scraped the
tip of a heel against my cock, droplets of
moisture siphoned from her dark puss.

She put her leg down and thrust her
large, round ass in my face. A trace of per-
spiration and shit fumes mixed with the
overbearing smell of leather in the shop.
She slowly slid her garters halfway down
her cheeks, then crouched and sandwiched
her soft, smooth ass cheeks around my
cock, leaving a slimy trail of pre-cum along
the surface of her moon.

“T want you to fuck my shoe before I buy
it,” she demanded. I grasped the pump and

rubbed my throbbing shaft furiously into
the open toe. She tugged at her large,
blood-colored clit, moaning some prima-
donna pleasure until, at last, I freed my
dammed sperm flow, covering the inside of
the black pump with almond-colored
semen. She rose and licked the final drops
from my shaft before running her thick
tongue along the sole of the shoe. Finally,
she tilted the shoe over her chest and
allowed my musty sex mucus to slither out
the open toe, onto her scratched breasts.
The semen seemed to soothe the damage
that her fingernails had wrought.

With plenty of sperm still clinging to the
inside, she slid her foot into the shoe with
ease. “Fits much better now,” she smiled.
She dressed hastily, letting the garment
absorb the spilt semen. Wearing the new
black spikes, she walked out the front door
with this salutation: “Bill me, Jacques.” I

sat still for several moments, unable to

stick my swollen cock inside my pants. No,
ma’am, this purchase was definitely on the
house. —Jacques P.

Beverly Hills, California

C.0.D.— COME ON DELIVERY

At least once a week the lady who lived on
Pelham Place would get a large package
wrapped in brown paper. My boss and I had
seen enough of these discreetly wrapped
sex toys with Danish return addresses come
through our post-office branch—we fig-
ured Veronica M. would be a challenge to
satisfy. My boss, Ralph, was an old, fat
fuck, with a cigar that seemed to have

(continued on page 37)

TALK TO ME! Late 20's executive F wants a nice
man. I'm not easy, but I'm worth it. Ext#: 1085

SF, 25, 5'2" Blue-eyed blockbuster. Wants to be
wined and dined, wooed and wanted. Ext.#: 1087

Plain Jane, 30, kind, considerate,warm, special tal-
ents not far beneath the surface. Seeks new friend
for affectionate fun and frolic. Ext.4#: 1089

Mellow F, 27, drop-out chemist. Love music, hiking,
mountain air. |'m seeking fellow hitchhiker on the road
of life. Ext#: 1090

Very deep, 20, SF, seeking adventurous S/MM who
can really reach my farthest point. Looks are not my
priority. Fun, warmth, and passion are. Ext#: 1091
Lois, passionate, 22 fair-skinned, brown- eyed,
seeks superman for dating and good times. Not
afraid to fly. Ext#: 1093

SF, 31, ready to take the plunge. There's only one spe-
cial thing that | haven't tried yet. Could you be the one?
Small men only please. Ext#: 1094

Dancer F, 30. Seeks delicious M or SM, any race,
age ok for open and relaxed good times. | want to
dance for one special guy with lots of warmth and

imagination. Must have a good heart. Ext#: 1095
Lovely & large, busty F, 24, loves the outdoors.
Seeking easy-going S or MM 29-50 for fun times. |
prefer men with hairy chests and hard muscles with
a good sense of humor. Ext#: 1096

Frustrated about not meeting honest, fun-loving
people? Me too. 36, F, energetic and attractive
seeking fellow who enjoys good times with his
woman. Ext#: 1097

Wild and crazy lady, 28, brunette, seeks counter-
part for all fun times. Be ready for anything, except
marriage. Ext#: 1098

Adorable, SBF, 23, devilish laugh, seeks kind,
respecting, hard-working BM for he and liv-
ing. Love to work out, play cards and play rough.
Ext#: 1100

Fox, 31, who is tired of being hunted down, seeks stal-
lion for some down-home horsin’ around. Mid 30's or
much older. Ext#: 1067

Thai woman, 21, seeks lighthearted male for compan-
ionship and sensuous fun, Want a strong, sensitive,
lusty man. Ext#: 1068

Reckless, strong/gentle, dom/sub, F,27, seeking
man who loves life and prefers to live it with rock

and roll. Ext#: 1069

S Native American F, 26, seeks SM, race unim-
portant for down-to-earth intimacy and possible
marriage. Ext#: 1074

Single Asian F, 22, seeks American 25-35 for sincere
exploring relationship. | am marriage oriented and

very innocent of the ways of love. Ext#: 1071

Just don't ask me to dance. Attractive SF, 25,
etite, with 2 left feet, warm heart, seeks a very
aid-back type of guy for quiet, intimate

evenings. Ext#: 1072

My big mouth has gotten me into trouble | need

help keeping it occupied. Got any ideas? SCF,

attractive blonde, blue eyes seeks fun, giving man

who'll keep me out of trouble. Ext#: 1073

If you are a sensual, mysterious, dark man,
who loves dancing until dawn, and watching
the sun rise over the ocean, then I'm the girl for
you (20-30) Ext#: 1075

THE PERSONALS CONNECTION

FOR PHONE TALK, PRIVATE MEEMNGS & MORE

Big girl, 29, 5'8, gourmet cook, enjoys reading
romance novels and feeding my man whatever he
Young, quiet, stunning, SWF, with long legs, tight
tummy, and deep blue eyes, seeks SM for discreet
relationship. Ext#: 1077

5'7 brunette, 32. Good in all the rooms of the
house. Wants strong sensitive, caring, and hard-
loving man to please, capable of sharing deepest
desires. Ext#: 1079

RN, 27, recently arrived from Ireland. Strawberry
blonde green ae Looking for trouble. No doctors
please. Ext# 1080

Deal me in. Vanna look-a-like. 5'10", bod to die for.
24 yr. old interior decorator sks. dating relationship
with slim ego-less older gentleman. Ext#: 1081

Private Messages is your most valuable
tool for expanding your social network
and increasing your personal pleasure.
And it’s available to you 24 hours a
day, 7 days a week. All you need to
do now is read each ad and respond to
the ones you like best. Take your time
and be sure to respond to all the ads
that appeal to you. All ads in Private
Messages are from sincere people who
want to meet someone special now!
Adults Over 18 Only.

RESPONDING TO ADS
Step-by-Step Instructions
1. DIAL 1-900-680-2442 $2.95 a minute.
2. Press 7 on your touchtone phone.
3. Enter the 4 digit extension number

of the ad you are responding to.
4. Leave your private message.
5. Press 1 to hear your message.
Press 2 to do it over.
Press 3 to send your message.
6. To respond to addtional ads
repeat steps 2-5
7. PRESS 4 TO HEAR MORE

EXCITING PERSONAL ADS.
PERSONALS CONNECTION, 2520 Welsh Road, STE $00, Phil, PA 19152

Country girl loves farm fresh life of leisure and
stolen kisses in haystacks. Seeks man who
appreciates simple virtues, earthly pleasures and
who still loves to wear blue jeans and boots.
Ext#: 1082

F, 20, college student. Petite and slim. | love to
party, go dancing, dine out. If you love rock
and roll let’s do it together. Be friendly and
romantic. Ext # 1066

American born Japanese professional lady, into
beach, music, barbecuing, and lazy good times.
Seeks 30's interesting non-Asian M to learn
secrets of the Orient Ext#: 1084

SWF, seeks a fun-loving, sexy, romantic young man
to share intimate times with. Love for good wine,
00d food, and good times. Ext#: 1051

SWF, 5'8", 118lbs. brown hair, ae eyes, interested
in sailing and the ocean, seeks SWM who doesn't get
seasick. EXT#: 1052

Discretion is advised with this 29 yr. old F, but for
He young M, it's ~~, worth it. I'm athletiec,
5'4", trim and love adventurous, passionate fun.
Ext#: 1053

Irish beauty, long red hair, 32, loves horses travel,
the country cozy cabins, seeks mature man with
similar interests who knows how to kick back, relax
and enjoy life. Ext# 1054

SF, 5'6", 24 yrs., brown hair and eyes, very tender
and lovable. Wants to meet other loveable male with a
love of water, reading and hottubs. Ext# 1056
Looking for excitement and able to handle gentle-
ness, passion and intimacy without strings or
commitment? MBF, 34 great body and no inhibi-
tions, seeks MM, 30-40 with great body and
wonderful personality for afternoon rendezvous.
Ext#: 1057

Beautiful S Oriental F, 28, slender figure, waist-
length hair, seeks tall, attractive SM 25-35, fun, with
traditional values for romance. Ext# 1058

BiF, 30, curvaceous, tall sensuous, slim, seeks male
counterpart for open-minded romantic fun. Right man
can meet my girlfriend too. Ext# 1059

Are older men really worth it? I'm, 23, F, who
wants the company of someone more experi-
enced. Been around the viock a few times? Take

me with you. Ext#: 1060

SF, light black, green eyes, one-time model, loves
exercise, shopping, esp. for gifts, and sharing
romantic affection, seeks any race SM for fun and

pleasure. Ext# 1061

Creative SF, 28, with no outlet, seeks an energetic,
caring, music-lover, with whom | can share my cre-
ative urges-Easygoing and open-minded with sense
of adventure required. Ext# 1062

Tall, Japanese F, (5'10), seeks gentle man any
height, for romantic candlelit dinner and tender first
time. Ext#: 1063

SF available, and very sexy, construction work-
er, loves to sweat, seeks outdoorsman, who is
outgoing and likes to work hard and play hard
too. Ext#: 1064

S bad F. I'm the type of girl your mother told you
to stay away from. Fair skin, great buns in tight
jeans. If it's wicked | like it. Show me something |
don't already know. Ext # 1065

F clerk, 20, seeks good-looking, aggressive bad
boy, bored by day, prowls by night. If you know
how, show me. Ext# 1083

22 year old. Hot blooded Italian female, 5'4",
dark hair and eyes. Seeks romantic man for
serious dating. Ext# 1050

Lisa, blonde, 27, into hot times with older
guys. Leave detailed message for call back.
Ext#: 1048

Sensuous BF, 34, warm and adventurous.
Seeks M for unique, mutually satisfying
friendship. Ext#: 1047

Phone talk? SF loves it. Ext#: 1049

“p. eh oa
Pe Malar

EDITED BY MAL O’REE

SAFECRACKER

Three-Quarters Erect. Directed by Jace Rocker and Britt Morgan; starring Britt
Morgan, Jeanna Fine, Angela Summers, Leilani, Joey Silvera, Tom Byron, Sikki
Nixx and Vinnie De Marco. Videocassette: Coast to Coast.

This nutty video about a bank run by two sluts and a bimbo (Britt Morgan, Jeanna
Fine, Angela Summers) gets off to a refreshing start when Vinnie De Marco fucks
Morgan. Thanks mainly to the way he eats her pussy and works her clit while he’s
fucking her, they actually look like they’re having sex, not just assuming
mechanical fuck-ilm positions for the camera. There are five more sex scenes in
this orgy of nasty, messy facial /oral/lingual cum-splats, one of which features
Medium Dong Silvera cornholing Leilani and Morgan. Not only do Safecracker’s
ladies not dodge the squirting white slime, they stalk it. Morgan positions her face

De Marco and Morgan forget the fuck-ilm positions.

HUSTLER JUNE

‘A ‘i’ yi ’

to catch Silvera’s load as it trickles from Leilani’s butthole down over her cooze to
Morgan's waiting tongue, a climax all too rare nowadays. Directors Jace Rocker and
Morgan have been turning out some fairly inventive, daring movies. Keep ‘em
coming! — Chas Beatty

Fine’s pussy sofe is worth cracking.

Great tits, but 0
less-thon-steamy Affair.

Forces: Homer gets neighborly
with Heart.

- are”
Plenty of Bush, but they don’t get
off the ground.

dik oe

PA LACY AFFAI 4

Half Erect. Directed by Charlie Diamond; starring Tora Hart, Trinity Loren, Raven Richards, Alexis Stone ond Paige Nichols.
Videocassette: Hollywood Video.

Female rug-ymunchers and the men who love them will be able to find a few worthy strokes in A Lacy Affair 4, on all-girl
stroker about lesbos who can’t find dates. Raven Richards is the primary gash-gobbler, tickling tender twats with every twist
of her terrible tongue. All of these lonely lezzies have great titt—Stone’s are so big that she can lick her own nips when
nobody else is around to do it for her. Aside from the notable to-tos, this is a lessthan-steamy Affair. © —Augie Michaels

CN D-cUP DATING SERVICE

One-Quarter Erect. Directed by the Shootist; starring Viviana, Tracey Adams, Paula Price, Raven Richards, Tom Byron,
Joey Silvera, Wayne Summers and Eric Price. Videocassette: Moonlight Entertainment.

These girls need a dating service like they need a hole in the head; what they do need is some good, hard fucking. They
don’t get it, and they have only themselves to blame. Viviana, despite her awesome body, is simply unresponsive, and Paula
Price is limited by her own insistence on designated fucker Eric. Raven Richards offers some hope for horndogs as she lets
Wayne Summers bang her hard and at least pretends to enjoy it; however, the cum-shot on the butt is a major
disappointment. “D” is for Dull. —A.M.

Cal BLONDE FORCES

Half Erect. Directed by Michael Craig; starring Candace Heart, Savannah, Valhalla, Holly Ryder, Mike Horner, Peter North
and Joey Murphy. Videocassette: Coast to Coast.

If apartment complexes were like the one depicted in Blonde Forces, the housing industry would collapse. The tenants are in
and out of each other's units, both literally and figuratively, with more than just rent being raised. Mike Horner gets
neighborly with Candace Heart and Holly Ryder, but considering the lethargic logging he gives them, he won't be invited
back. The real sparks in the shorts come as naughty neighbor Savannah gets nailed by Peter North, ond when a blindfolded
Valhalla gets pounded by the astral projection of cosmic guru Joey Murphy. — Sam Lowry

- BUSH PILOTS 2

Half Erect. Directed by Michael Craig; starring Ashlyn Gere, Rayne, Sharon Kane, K. C. Williams, Ona Zee, Mike Horner,
Randy West and Rod Ryker. Videocassette: VCA.

This second trip with fuck-triendly fly girl Ashlyn Gere has enough high-flying humping to get a joystick partially airborne. Mile-
high mamas Gere and Rayne offer their clients great aerial scenery, but the best sights are on the ground: Gere opening her
landing pad for Mike Horner's single prop and later for Randy West’s turbo-charged tool, and Sharon Kane rewing engines
with great cocksucking in the middle of an airfield. Knobs will take a nosedive with Rayne and Rod Ryker’s poorly shot slam,
a cool coupling between K. C. Williams and West, and a tepid twat threeway that crashes on takeoff. —S.L

eer ay

Lal LUST FOR LOVE

Half Erect. Directed by Wes Brown; staring Angela Summers, Tom Byron, Alicyn Sterling, Joey Silvea, I. T. Boy, Devon
Shire and Tom Chapman, Videocassette: VCA.

Tom Byron ponders the eternal question:
Which is better, sex or love? While there’s not
0 lot of loving to be found, there’s plenty of
meaningless sex to go around. Byron pops
himself in and out of different boffings with o
click of his fingers. His deep, dirt-box
penetration of a big-butt brunette registers two
snaps up. Angela Summers forsakes amour in
favor of a double dose of dong from T. T. Boy
and Tom Chapman, while Byron and Alicyn
Sterling make a convincing case in favor of
the zipless fuck. —S.L Love means having a zipless fuck.

JUNE HUSTLER

PANIC |\ ii TEATS?

Wh the government decreed a 45-day moratorium on breast
en implants, did it couse a tempest in a D-cup, 0 panic in
Pornville? To find out, we called some of Smutdom’s ballistic busts.

TONISHA MILLS: | have no regrets obout having the implants, and I’ve had no
discomfort and no problems—and I've had three separate operations, going
up to larger sizes. As a matter of fact, my boobs are even more sensitive now
than what they were before.

K. C. WILLIAMS: If the story had broken about the possible dangers of implants
before | got them, | seriously doubt that | would have gotten them, But | don’t
really know. The stories on TV and in the papers haven't caused me to lose any
sleep now that I’ve got them, because | didn’t get the kind they’re talking
about—the nontextured. | got the textured ones. And | didn’t go up to an

ANAL
~) FEVER

One-Quarter Erect. Directed by Jim Enright; starring
Holly Ryder, Melanie Moore, Tom Byron, Mike Horner,
Randy West and Flame. Videocassette: Zane Entertainment.

Unable to sleep in his fleabag hotel room, constantly
awokened by the sounds of sex in the room next door,
Mike Horner is trapped in an erofic twilight zone, a sexual
nightmare that manifests itself in and out of his bed.
Strokers won't suffer the same insomnia os Horner.
They'll be asleep by the third fuck. Holly Ryders monster
clit gets a workout from Horner and Tom Byron, but
neither scene strikes pay dirt. Melanie Moore getting ass-
fucked on a bar looks nice but is a bust, while Flame’s
fanny-flogging from Byron is notable only for a close-up of
butt juice dripping from her battered browneye. Fever
leaves you cold. —S.L.

Tia is a perfect girl for a Bruce Seven video of bondage
and stressed buns. With big, dangling breasts that drape
like some kind of nectar-swollen god-fruit when her arms
are bound above her head, and a commodious ass that
spills over in a pillow fit for a divinity when a constraining
belt is cinched around her lust-mother thighs, Tia’s physical
attributes are the clay an artistic dominant uses to sculpt a
tableau of erotic transcendence. Aside from her raw body
material, the girl has an attitude that indicates she’s not
lying when she claims that being hung from o rafter ond
ass-whipped is her favorite pastime. So even though Tia is
only in one scene, and nobody gets fucked in You Bet
Your Ass, viewers won't be getting totally screwed.

— Christian Shapiro

HUSTLER JUNE

(al YOU BET YOUR ASS

Half Erect. Directed by Bruce Seven; starring Bionca, Porsche Lynn, Heather Hart, Tia,
Loura Hort, Ed Powers and Roscoe Bowltree. Videocassette: Bruce Seven Productions.

Fever: Moore looks good with a dick in her ass.

Hang her from the rafters and whip her Ass.

enormous size, like some of the girls. | just went
from a 34B to a 36C. So I’m not too worried
about it.

DOMONIQUE SIMONE: | just got my second
{implants} because | wanted ‘em more round
and shapely, yum-yum time. No, it didn’t
increase my feelings there, like | guess it did for
some girls. In fact, I’m not even sensitive in my
boobs anymore. | lost my sensitivity. The news
doesn’t bother me or cause me to lose ony
sleep, because when only three people out of a
million people have problems, {the media) make
it 0 big issue. | haven't had any problems with it,
and I’m not worried about it. | was 0 34B, and
now I'm a 34DD. And | got textured, baby!

TORI WELLES: | was watching all these damn
talk shows, and | was freaking out about it
because some of the girls had some, like,
nightmare stories. So | started looking for my
papers from when | got my tit job, because |
wasn’t sure what kind of implants they put in
me. | had to have them popped [lost year)
because they got too hard. | went in because
my left one was getting a little hard. | meon, |
massaged them, and they've always looked
pretty natural. And | just couldn't massage this
one at all. It was after the baby that it started
getting hard. | waited for a few months, and |
went in, and they did the popping of the scar
tissue. Oh, my God, that hurt worse than
getting the boob job.

GANG-BANG GIRL

HOTLINE

You wanted it, here it is —
a direct line to Anabolic
Productions, the perverts
behind Gang Bang Girl 1, in
which Trixy Tyler takes on
cock after cock after cock
and eats enough cum to
frost a three-layer cake.

Call (800) 32-NASTY,
or write Tyler a love letter at
' P.O. Box 12456, Marina Del
| ae Rey, CA 90292.

TWO HEARTS
One-Quarter Erect. Directed by Gloria Leonard; starring Racquel Darrian, Kym
Wilde, Ona Zee, Randy Spears, Steve Strong and Derrick Lane. Videocassette: Vivid.

Randy Spears has the meaning of life tattooed on his dick, but he’s never been able
to read the message becouse he’s impotent, a condition that will spread from the
screen to the bone watching at home. This supposedly more sensual production
sprung from the crotch of sometime director Gloria Leonard. The women are good to
look at, and the whole silly thing is over quick. Vivid heralded this as Racquel
Darrian’s first time working with someone other than Derrick Lone. She briefly sucks
Spears’s cock and seems to like it, but their doggy-style hump is without a glimpse
of penetration and, judging from Spears’s expression, is strictly simulation. Two
Hearts beats as one limp dick. — Mal 0'Ree

Hearts beats as one limp dick.

Three-Quarters Erect. Directed by Gerard Damiano; starring Moana, Buck

Adams, Leanna Foxxx, Marc Wallice, Nina Hartley, P J. Sparxx, Peter North, T. T.
Boy and Ed Powers. Videocassette: VCA.

Nastier than a month-old slice of Gorgonzola, Italian twat Moana searches for fame
and fortune os a fashion model. She wants to do a high-class magazine spread, but
thanks to her cheesy, small-time agent, nicely played by Buck Adams, the only
spread she winds up getting is between her cunt lips and up her ass. After o tasty
turd-tunneling with Adams, Moana makes the rounds in hopes of getting groomed
for stardom. Cunning linguist Leanna Foxxx shows her the correct way to use her
tongue in a lively lezzie-usting. Hair and makeup tips are dispensed by Nina Hartley
and Marc Wallice in o threeway that ends with Wallice giving Moano’s face a rich
skin moisturizer. To keep her body in shape, Moana works out with aerobic
instructors Peter North and T. T. Boy and winds up being turned into a meatball
sandwich during a spicy DP. Although Moana complains throughout about having to
do too much “push-push,” it’s doubtful yankers doing the pull-pull will have a similar
objection. —S$.L.

Manbait: Nastier than a month-old slice of hep

GENIE IN A
BIKINI

Half Erect. Directed by Jim Enright; storing Madison, Monique Hall, Buck Adams,
Tom Byron, Britt Morgan and Marlena Riche. Videocassette: Zane Entertainment Group.

The concept is heartwarming: Pop the top off an old bottle, and out writhes a
beautiful woman who'll uncork your cock. Madison is so chipper as the genie that
it’s easy to believe that she’s otherwordly—especially when she’s sluicing through
Britt Morgan’s juicy gash with a big, black strap-on. Earthling Buck Adams manages
to spear both Morgan and new box Monique Hall. This second dorking is
bewildering. Hall behaves as if Adams is inserting a porcupine, rather than his scum
stump, inside her twat. Byron works it out in a nice 69 with his genie, then gets the
benefit of Hall’s hole and blond trollop Marlene Riche’s ripe puss. In fact, viewers
may be tempted to use some elbow grease polishing old bottles —if they can let
go of their cocks long enough. — Dewey Huevos

Genie will have you polishing old bottles.
JUNE HUSTLER

4, r ; oof! yey CoAnnab > D
feciegd OV U Ori éonara; storing SUVUTTUTTL,

business was up and roaring ot January's
e Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, with
nearly every major manufacturer represented

and an unprecedented number of porn queens, in all manner of undress, strutting

among the goggle-eyed civilians who packed the Sahara Hotel for their yearly dose
of perversion. Alex Jordan was one of several actresses who raffled their lingerie at
Pure Pleasure adult-book store, a two-day showcase of snatch that raised money for

the anticensorship couse. Lucky winners got to remove the lacy underthings with
their teeth. The real hotspot was room 1483 at the Sahara, where HUSTLER free-
lance writer Cheezboy not only hobnobbed with the stors, but with the help of

=m }

Bruce Seven and Lynn Lemay got a little taste of Angela Summers. Portions of
Cheez’s personal Las Vegas diary will be featured in o future issue, providing we
get the pages unstuck.

a] CHEESECAKE
One-Quarter Erect. Directed by Gordon Vandermeer, starring

Missy, Trinity Loren, Nikki Wilde, Taylor Wane, Rustie Rhodes,
Peter North, Tom Chapman and Johnny. Videocassette: VCA.

With a spilledjizz face, a sculpted body, a clean-shaved snatch
and on energetic sex drive, Missy is prime for pud. But she should
never talk. Playing a gill who kicks fiance Tom Chapman out for
not signing a prenuptial agreement, her acting is worse than nails
across a blackboard. Missy comforts herself with a routine rut with
Johnny, while Chapman soothes his wounded pride by tooling the
hole of Taylor Wane. A lezzie romp on a kitchen countertop
between Missy ond bovine Trinity Loren is the only real sizzle.
Cheesecake’s no dessert for jointjerkers. —S.L

bas eactie Erect. Directed by Michael Corpenter; starring ,
Kelly Blue, Terry Diver, Debi Diamond, Holly Ryder, Peter North, — 7
IT. Boy and Harry Dickinsider. Videocassette: Visual Images. Take o bite of Cheesecake.

A frustrated puss, sex therapists with dripping twats, Holly Ryder's gigantic clit, the comerawork is erratic, and disjointed is an appropriate term for the editing.
Peter North’s pneumatic jizz-pump—sounds like the symptoms of a scalding- For a bit of comic relief, Dickinsider plays a cunt-hungry sniveler with Kelly
hot sex vid. Upon closer inspection, the prognosis is grim. This tape offers Blue’s foot in his mouth. Besides thot, only Ryder’s thumb-like clitoral
about as much warmth and stimulation as a cool gust up the back of a paper appendage ond Debi Diamond's enthusiasm for North’s meat-whistle are of
hospital gown. Dialogue falls together, and opart, like a bad Kafka nightmare, much interest. —D.H.

STROKER’S GUIDE

A QUICK CHECKLIST OF X-RATED FEATURES REVIEWED IN PAST ISSUES OF
HUSTLER AND HUSTLER EROTIC VIDEO GUIDE.

FULLY ERECT TTT NM Robin Head (Coast to Coast) ONE-QUARTER ERECT
Superior. Atop production. fin Sma § Charisma, Samantha York, Poor. Don’t expect much,

New Wave Hookers 2 (VCA) Passages 3 (Vivid) pe Blond Rider (Coast to Coast)

Madison, Sondra Scream, Ashley Nicole Jennifer Stewart, Christy Canyon, Hunchback of Notre Dame Candace Heart, April Rayne,
PJ. Sparxx ; (Video Team) Jamie Leigh
TITRA In Defense of Savannah K. C. Williams, Ajo, Kim Katain Sex Trek 2 (Moonlight)
| Above average. Hard-on material. Hi A771) Derrier (Coast to Coast) Mona Lisa, Miyagi, Danielle Rogers
Savannah, Britt Morgan, Poula Price, Natasha, Heather Hort =» Body Triple (VCA)
-schigret om sr Christy Canyon Adventures of Mikki Finn a ae Penny Lane,
City Girls (VCA) (Caballero) eee tee
Alice Springs, Paula Price, Madison ‘XK. C. Williams, P. J. Sparxx, Britt Blow Out (Video Exclusives)
Brandy and Alexander (VCA) Morgan Leanna Foxxx, Rustie Rhodes,
Jeanna Fine, Britt Morgan, Rebel (Zane) ey mi Charisma
K. C. Williams ‘Deidre Holland, Alicyn Sterling, Tit Tales 3 (Filmco) '
Melanie Moore Jamie Leigh, Charisma, Viper TOTALLY LIMP .
Buttman’s Big Tit Adventure Determinator 2 American Buttman in London a ba po =
(Evil Angel) (Visual Images) (Evil Angel) Brainteasers (Zane)
Dee Dee Reaves, Heather Hart, Alicyn Sterling, Melanie Moore, Misty McCaine, Carrie Jones, Cora K.C. Williams, Terry Diver,
Fawn Miller Angela Summers Jone Monique Hall

24 JUNE HUSTLER

OU WON AGEOR GET IHESER
/OUIGAN TS-ORGEN THENUMBER,

24 HOURS
VE

a Dumnger~
yy yy
Don Gs Y

1 OUU1 38-0300"

S j Af : ar, \ ve ig
ey Psp LINE ® 1 ON 1 A
rent | y

FREE SAMPLES
212-319-0778

You must be over 18

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ONE ON ONE CONNECTIONS
1-900-680-1700

$3.95 a minute. Adults over 18.
ONE-TO-ONE, 223 Bloomfield St., Ste. 2, Hoboken, NJ 07030

2 1-900-680-0300
iS 1-900-903-1717
j 1-900-773-5399

£ 1-900-903-1313
All Calls just $2.95 a minute. Adults Only.

GRANNIES
ready to babysit for you

1-900-680-1515

$3 per minute. Mature adults over 21 only.

Vortex Communications,4540 S. Arville, Las Vegas, Nevada 89103

FANTASIES

You can enjoy America’s BEST FANTASIES.
Find out how. CALL NOW! (21+ Picase)

913-661-9281

Talk Live
THE ULTIMATE PHONE
1-900-740-6423

$25 a call. Over 18 only,
difveeoatte 2250 E Tr Sw. 316, Las NV 89119

| want to Make You Come!

1-800-945-4569
$2.95 a minute. Adults 18+. MC/V

Listen to me Scream in Ecstasy

| love : Masturbate while you're Listening
1-800-766-4688

Adults 18+ only. $2.95 a minute. MC/V
LONELY GIRLS

Seek men for fun, dating, and more. Call now for
names and home phone numbers of lonely girls
who want to connect with youl
1-900-884-5005
Over 18 only please. $2.90 a minute.
MIX'N MATCH 2520 Welsh Road, STE 500, PA 19152

FULFILL YOUR FANTASIES
NO CREDIT CARD NEEDED!
21 S-474-2880 Adults over 18
Fantasy Phone, x 2018. Hoboken. NJ 07030
Lesbian Talk

1-900-903-2878
$3a minute. Adults 18+.

ADULT &1.

Real Personal Experiences By Phone
1-900-680-1818
$3 + er te minute. Mature adults over 21 only.
Unlimited, Box 2271, Fort Lee, Nu 07024

FREE PHONE SEx!

SAUCY SAMPLES TO GET YOU HARD

212-643-2696

Adults Over 21 Only
EXPERIENCED WOMEN
KNOW HOW TO PLEASE
Women who want to meet real men for hot times.

Get real names and numbers sbi experienced
ladies who know how

1-900-680-0500
naar

minute. SSNs SRR OPE 2 OW.

TALK LIVE WITH A FANTASY
CENTERFOLD GIRL
Samantha’s girls........1-900-680-1300
Tracy’s girls 1-900-680-1400
Desiree $ girls 1-900-680-1500
Suzette’s girls 1-900-680-1600
Strictly for adults over 18. Just $3.95 per minute.
___Live All Night, Box 2271, Fort Lee, NJO7024___

Lusty Lesbos Lap It Up-1-800-374-9994
.95 a minute. 18+ only. V/MC
Meet Real Girls Who Want To Meet You
1-900-773-3233 4

Adults over 18. $2.90 per minute.
Live All Night, Box 2271, Fort Lee, NJ 07024

Party Girls Want To Party With You!
in Private. LIVE
1-900-288-6399
$3: x a minute. Adults over 18 only

2271, Fort NJ 07024
FIRM FITF FEMALES GET SWEATY WITH YOU
1-900-407-5311 Must be over 18. $2.90 a minute.
DISCREET, P.O. Box 5918, #512, Metarie, LA 70009
AKISS IS JUST A KISS...OR IS IT?
KISS AND TELL GIRLS CONFESS ALL!

1-900-680-1414

Adults over 18. $2.90 per minute.
Vortex Communications, 4540 S. Arvilie, h Las Vegas, Nevada 89103

KISSABLE LIPS
PERSONAL CONTACTS WITH GIRLS
WHO LOVE TO KISS
1-900-680-0600
Adults over 21. $2.90 per minute
Vortex Communications. 4540 S. Arville, Las Veoas. Nevada 89103

PETITE LADIES
Call now for the real names and home
phone numbers of petite ladies and
beautiful women who want to meet you!
1-900-896-5581
$2.90 per minute. Adults over 18.
TALKNET 3501 Severn Ave., #3C-149, Metairie, LA 70002

For Strictly Adult Conversation
CALL1-900-903-1900
Must be 18+. $2.95 per minute.

ONE TO ONE SERVICES.3540 SUMNER AVE. STE. 307, MEMPHIS, TN 38122
Danish Delights
Beautiful Scandinavian women and ladies of all
nations seek nice men for dating, romance, and
good times together. Other ladies available also.
Call any time-24 hours a day!
1-900-896-2633
Adult callers over 21 only please. $2 a minute.
INTROSERVICE, 1153 N. Dearbom, STE 430, Chicago, IL 60610

LADIES HOME NUMBERS
1-900-903-5223

$2 a minute. Adults over 18 only.
ADULT CLASSIFIED, 2250 E Tropic: ‘ana, Ste. 318, Las Vegas, NV 89119
Quick Release — 1-800-944-2264

$2.95 a minute. Adults 18+ only. MC/V

2 Girl Fantasies
1-900-773-3588

$3.50 a minute. Adults 18 + only
Fantasy Phone, Box 2018, Hoboken, NU, 07030

Talk live 1 on 1
Friendly Ladies 1-900-454-3786

$4.50 a minute. Adults over 18 only.
ADULT CLASSIFIED, 2250 E Tropicana, Ste. 318, Las Vegas, NV 89119

ki WOMEN IN JAIL

Introducing America's most exciting
dateline-for women who will
soon be released from jall-
and men who want to meet them!
$1-900-884-3786
$2.90 a minute. Adults Only.
PRIVATE ONE-TO-ONE TALK-24 hours
1-900-773-5005
Adults over 18. $3.95 per Sree
———_Live All Night, Box 2271, Forties NJ 07024
Confidential Dating.
Married OK

1-900-407-5287

Just $2.90 per minute. 18/over.
THE BULLITEN BOARD, 3501 SEVERN AVE, #3C-149, METAIRIE, LA 70002

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PORTRAIT OF CHRISTY —Christy Canyon, Lols Ayres and Alice
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| Sirs. [nave anclosed my check. M.0. Visa. M.C. information. Please rush me the 4

| videos vider a 30-DAY MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE (CT res. add sales tax.)

| CANADIAN RESIDENTS: Available from Ultra Corp, 4944 Decarie Biv. CP305 Montreal
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| ai orders shipped duty-free trom within Canada. If titles are not available in Canada

| you are entitled to a substitute of an equal or greater value. Money-back guarantee if

| not satisfied!

| WOTICE: | dectare that | am an adult, 21 years of age or over (19 years of age or over for
Canadian residents). | am purchasing these for my private use in my own home and

| will not sell the material or furnish it to minors

Signature NOTE AVAILABLE IN
PASSAGES 3 —Christy Canyon, Jennifer Stewart and April Rayne. Wie Mre:Atina Mix OMY
Christy discovers that 9-5 is OK but6-9is really where it's at! Christy Address —_______________wi#0._— gig gg
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the original and every bit as exciting! You'll love it! question about your order phone # (a
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Bank or Org. issuing card —_————E— Enc. $ Void where prohibited by law.

WE TRY HARDER!

= We're new
and we'll to
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OR MIC. 18 &

OVER ONLY.

“Will, you've just
been acquitted of
rape; what’re you
gonna do now?”

**I’?im

going to

Jizzney

World.”’

COME ONE, COME AL

Welcome to Jizzney World,
the horniest place on Earth, Our world-famous stores allow
you to purchase poorly made, overpriced novelties that'll be
sure to brighten up the floor of your closet as soon as you
get home.

BONE
STREET,
IS
Greet our charming
characters during the Bone
Street Body-Part Parade.
Afterward,-spend the
afternoon mending your
child's warped sexuality.

THE SeaanNiiNGaay-CUPS

It's not the spinning that makes our D-
Cup ride so nauseating, but the
soundtrack from the Touchstone movie

Beaches that plays in every cup.

MR. LOAD’S
WILD RIDE

- Aboard Mr. Load’s Wild Ride, experience

_— —" the rush of warm semen without needing
Take some time out from our white-knuckle ~_ to wash your sheets afterward
~fides and relax in the Heavy-Petting Zoo, where
— ‘beavers and clams are but two of the species ~,
‘ever seen on PBS. . 4
a /

™. 7
) fg

?
2

Hold on to your Stomach and your nose as
you shoot the rapids down Snatch
Mountain. Your clothes may get wet, but
after the ride’s climax, you can walk away
from this snatch without an argument.

In a darkened corner of the park called Queer Land,
closet nances ride rockets into the anal zone and
leave their homophobic fears behind:

Sing along with our mammary
midgets and enter a world where “It’s
a Small Boob After All.” But beware
the evil DOW executives who lurk
behind every,corner with a faulty
silicone implant. And no matter what,
try not to whistle this irritating
melody the rest of the day.

A ghost moans. An
unseen vibrator
rattles. And the smell
of must lines the
darkened hallways of
the Haunted Porn
Abundance of'¢ormdogs, soda and churros got you Mansion, Enter the

down? Then move yOurbowels On over to Poop nethe;world of
Smutdom and leave

asking the Sepulchral
question: Why is
America Award for excetlenice in theme-park Savannah in here if

entertainment.) she isn't dead?

Land, and leave your'mark upon Wart Jizzney’s
Hershee Highway. (1999 Future Farmers of

FRIENDLY

; % f ALWAYS
LIVE 1 ON 1

CIVE LINES. 1-900-786-1515

TRY ONE OR THEM BOTH FOR 5 ~ WOMEN'S
ALL NEW ADVENTURES IN ROMANCE 2. ADVENTURES AND
' y" SECRET FANTASIES

LIVE $3/MIN. y
/ LIVE $3/MIN. i
P’ A PRESTIGE CUSTOMER SERVICE (404)916 6264 | MYSTERIOUS
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EI ET U | i | : : fie i
WE inact 7600-945: an r ae
FOR EXCITING TIMES WITH LIVE GIRLS, CALL

aah 414/252 klallishlbs

arse || -DOO-GEO-D. be a a

1-N- L z
$1 96 PER MINUTE, AVERAGE CALL LENGTH 7 MINUTES. DISCAEETLY CHARGED TO YOUR PHONE. PRIME COMMUNICATIONS. LOS ANGELES. CA 6 ADULT ONLY = 6 BE OVER 16

FULFILL
YOUR FANTASIES

NO CREDIT CARD NEEDED!

215- “4 C4 23380

ULTS
FANTASIES, BOX mie HOBOKEN, "NJ 07030

oye

TALK LIVE To Me PLEASE
1-900-288-6399

$3.95 A MINUTE. ADULTS OVER 21 ONLY.

*STRICTLY ADULTS:

LIVE ALL NIGHT, Box 2271, Ft. Lee, NJ 07024

ADU TeADULTe ADIT |

FOR 900 CUSTOMER SERVICE CONTACT: ADULT CLASSIFIED PUBLISHING, 2250 East Tropicana, Ste. 318, Las Vegas, NV 89119

Accessible Ladies
se to adventure, dating and love

1-900-884-0751

$2.90 a minute. Adults over 18 only.

LONELY WOMEN 40+ NEED MEN
Call For Discreet Intros

1-900-370-4746

$3 per minute. 18+

"LESBIAN Lome l

$3 ¢ a minute. "Adults over ris only.
BISEXUAL GIRLS
$2.90 a minute. Adults only 18+.

Attractive Ladies
avail. for romance & fun
1-900-407-5251

$4.95 a minute. Strictly 21+.

ONE TO ONE

personal contacts
<4 HOURS A DAY

Call for FREE info!
18 and over please.

zi2-421-1238

} ADULTS c OVER ZA

TALK LIVE WITH LUSCIOUS LADIES
FIND OUT HOW! WITH NO CREDIT CARD
DIAL 1-900-903-5844
$3.95 A MINUTE. ADULTS OVER 18 ONLY.

FULFILL YOUR FANTASIES
1-900-407-5847

$3/minute. Adults over 18 only.

LONELY HOUSEWIVES
Your Fantasy Can Come True

1-900-407-5225
$3 a minute. Adults over 21.

HOME PHONE 1-900-773-4075 |
$2.90 a minute. Over 21 only.

na err —_ wane for you
4 : a pel ig eal, Mg
ENGHANTING ENG ENG OUNTERS

ental ladies for love
1-900-407-5534 $2.75 a minute. Adults 18+.

Female Partners * You Choose
1-900-407-5509 $3 a minute, 18+.

Relaxing Dates With Beautiful Ladies
1-900-407-7563 $2.00 a minute. Over 21 only.

PETITE LADIES

Good things come in small
packages. Real names and
home numbers available.

FIND OUT HOW!

Over 18 Only.

913-469-5667

TALKNET, 3501 Sevem Ave., #3C-149,
Metarie, LA 70002

Incredible Sexual Discovery!

Chemists perfect amazing
Sex Scent that makes
3 out of 4 women give in!

aris. — Using the discovery of two famous and re-

Professors, chemists have succeeded in syn-

thesizing the sex hormone that triggers arousal. They

have blended it into a perfume, and the results are astonish-

ing. They have been the subject of tests, articles in the news-
paper, with surprising revelations.

This unique scent works equally well for attracting women
and men. It also works even if you have never had any success,
or if a man or woman has already turned you down.

The results are guaranteed 3 times out of 4 (4 contacts =
3 successes). In most instances, a “normal” man only suc-
ceeds 1 out of 4 times.

IT’S TRUE — A SEX SCENT THAT
REALLY TURNED ME ON
{as told by Mrs. M. Dumit,
reproduced with her permission).

This happened about a month ago. | was having a drink at a sidewalk
restaurant when a man came up to me. Not good looking, not ugly, and
not my type

He heid out a piece of paper with an address scribbled on it.

Suddenly, | was aware of the odor. The next minute, | started to tremble
and my mouth went dry.

The man asked me if | knew where the street was that was written on
the paper. | looked at him without understanding what he was saying. |
only wanted one thing: for him to take me into his arms. The odor penetrated
me more and more. It was hot, sensual and comforting.

| tried to react and looked around me, But no one seemed to notice
what was happening to me.

The man took me by the hand and drew me to him. | got up like a robot.
He paid. | couldn't take my eyes off him and he pulled me against him and
put his arm around my waist. We went about 100 yards to his car. | got
in without hesitating. When his hand caressed my knee and slid up my
thigh, | fett a powerful desire knot in my stomach. | grabbed him and
sought his mouth.

Fifteen minutes later, we were in bis apartment and | gave myself to him
in delirious pleasure.

| BECAME HIS SLAVE

‘When | got home that evening, | asked myself some questions.

Suddenty, | remembered an article that had appeared in a magazine,
Some chemists had succeeded in synthesizing the hormone that triggers
Sexual desire. Apparently, it was unstoppable, and no one could resist it.

| quickly called Frances, a girlfriend who is a biologist. | told her about
my adventure.

In her calm, precise voice she confirmed for me what | already knew: |
had been the victim of a sex scent which had been perfected by the chemists.

1 didn't regret my adventure, But | decided there and then to be more
Careful in the tuture.

OTHER REAL-LIFE EXPERIENCES

The following experiences have been related in the news, or have been
the subject of private tests.
~ In @ Gentist’s waiting room, some sex scent was sprayed on a chair.
During the course of the day, 11 patients out of 13 either sat on that chair
or the one next to it.
~ A man of average build, with Exit 1 on his shirt collar and under his
arms, walked back and forth among the tables in a tea room for three
minutes. He then left

Here are the responses of the customers who were discreetly questioned
by a co-worker: 9 women said that the man excited them tremendously.
One woman refused to reply, and two said that they had been indifferent
to the man.
~ On a cattle farm, spraying the females with some sex scent tripled the
matings.
— A femaie hamster was placed among several males. One of them had
been sprayed with sex scent. After moving about for a few minutes, the
female approached the male who had been sprayed, with obvious signs of
excitement

3 OUT OF 4 SUCCESSES OR —
IT’S ALL FREE

(while a “normal” man
is only successful 1 time in 4)
All our tests, personal tests of friends, and many experiences in the United
States, England and France prove this:
The sex scent acts regardless of the person, physique (even unattractive)
and even if he is timid with women. It attracts and makes 3 women out

of 4 surrender. Which is incredible because everyone knows that a “normal”
man is successful one time out of four (look at your own life or ask your
friends).

This is what you have to do. Put some scent behind your ears, on your
collar or under your arms. Approach the person you want to seduce and
Start talking to them, using any pretext... and write to us right away to tell
us what 5

If three people out of four have not said YES, if three out of four have
Not surrendered to your caresses, then your sex scent will cost you abso-
lutely nothing.

Just write and tell us, and you will receive a full refund check by return

mail.
This is a signed, written guarantee that provides you with complete legal
protection.

feoxboet

FREE GIFT
(if your response is postmarked within 10 days)

HOW IT WORKS

it has now been established that an odor contains
a

message.
This is received by the brain, decoded, then
causes anyone to react automatically according to
the message contained.

The success of the Exit scent is explained by the
fact that it contains very potent sexual molecules
(pheromones). They excite the neurons that contro!
sexual behavior.

IF YOU HAVE NEVER HAD SUCCESS WITH WOMEN
AND THINK IT’S IMPOSSIBLE, AT LEAST READ THIS:
| would be willing to bet that you blame your lack of success
‘on two things: 1- You are not very handsome. 2- You are not

very rich,
Let me share something with you. Several months ago, a

on”. Only 10% said that they are
que. As far as money is concerned, they

in 10 is concerned about looks, and those who are looking for
a millionaire are in fact very rare.

When you read that Exit scent makes three out of four women
surrender, it's really true.

Touch a little Exit 1 behind your ear, or on your shirt collar,
then smite and walk up to the first pretty girl you see.

ee eae Rha

— The confidential revelation of a recent discovery. It transformed one
woman without much sexual appetite into a passion-filled volcano, and
gave other women 10 times more enjoyment.

PLEASE NOTE: Strictly limited quantity. Return this COUPON right away,
before December 1, 1993.

Exit scent is not commercially avaitable. You can only obtain it through
this coupon, We reserve right to extend time of detivery based on quanitities
available. Hurry!

JEAN AUBERT, 298 Fifth Avenue, Suite 205, New York, MY 10001

[ 3 OUT OF 4 SUCCESSES — I

OR IT’S ALL FREE |

I Return this coupon I

I before December 1, 1993 to: i

l JEAN AUBERT i
1 298 Fifth Avenue, Suite 205

i New York, NY 10001 !

J YES, my money back immediately, no questions asked, if | am
Not successful 3 out of 4 times. Please send me by return mail (in

I stain, unmarked package):

] © 95036 1 Bottle (to attract women) «+++ ++e+ ++ $20.90

i 1D 1am enctosing $55. Send two.

(2) 95044 1 Bottle (to attract men) «+ +4 +5002 + $29.90
© 1am enclosing $55. Send two.
ye 01589 GIFT: How to transform a reserved woman into a passion-fil- I
ted volcano.

1c 1am enclosing $3.00 for postage and handling.

I co coage my COVISA C) MasterCard

————

-
for

Allow 4 to 6 weeks ‘8 |

I
I
I
|
|
I
I
I
1
1
|
!
J

| & ce (continued from page 17)

When | red out, her hole naoaeser molded to the size of my shaft. Only
when | spritzed her anus with sperm did it wink itself down to size.

become a permanent feature of his face. I
doubted that he could even get it up, but he
had the balls to bet me that he could fuck
her first. Since she was on my route, and he
was stuck behind his desk all day, I knew
I'd have the first chance.

The great thing about those packages is
that her signature was required for deliy-
ery, and the following week, she opened
the door wearing only a dirty, cloth bath-
robe. She was an unspectacular-looking
blonde, with just enough girl-next-door
plainness to make her hot. Her hair was
wet, as if she’d been sweating, and when
she reached out to grab my pen, one of her
heavy, white boobs popped out of the robe.
“Goodness, I’m sorry, Reid,” she said,
straightening out the garment. “Not at all,”
I smiled. “You know, sometimes these
packages are difficult to open. I have a
rather sharp knife, if you need it.”

She thought for a moment and scratched
her thigh, parting the robe almost to her
crotch, “Yeah,” she said, running her hand
along my flexed bicep, “I think I could use
you right about now.”

She led me inside and, with a flick of her
finger, told me to follow. I dropped my
mail bag and removed my shirt. She slith-
ered out of her robe, exposing the furriest
bush I'd seen since a PBS special on black
bears. Her ass was round and a bit flabby as
it wiggled up the stairs. I followed closely
behind, staring at her brown ass crack that
split open with each forward step.

When we arrived at the top of the stairs,
she pulled me closer until she could swiz-
zle her tongue along the curve of my lips.
*T bet you lick a mean stamp,” | murmured.

She turned the door’s handle, and as she
stepped into the room I heard a grumbled
voice say, “So who was at the door?” I
nearly shit in my pants when I saw Ralph,
spread-eagled on the bed, with hands and
feet tied to the posts with baby diapers.

“Holy shit!” I stared.

“Reid!” he said, more embarrassed than
upset. “Don’t you have a route to finish?”

“Fuck you!” I returned. “Isn’t there
some freight to weigh down at the station?”

“Now hold on a minute,” she giggled.
“You both were so interested to get in here,
we might as well work together.”

She said nothing else and prevented
me from complaining with a tongue
against my tonsil. Then she moved to
Ralph, pulled aside his flabby gut and
wedged his tiny cock between her cheek
and gums. When his pecker was ready,
she spread her ass cheeks apart and slow-

HUSTLER JUNE

ly squirmed her anus onto the lucky stiff.

I climbed onto the bed and stood in front
of her. She grabbed my ass and pulled my
cock down her throat. The tip of my prong
brushed against the back of her jaw. She
reached for one of her past deliveries—a
chrome dick-substitute— that lay on the
edge of the bed. She rammed the tool
inside her snatch.

She leaned back against Ralph’s paunch
and pulled me down to probe her twat. My
balls flapped against her butt cheeks, which
slapped against Ralph’s beer-guzzling tro-
phy. Finally, 1 pulled out my cock and stood
up, unloading what seemed like a lifetime
supply of semen onto her heaving chest,
completely obscuring her stretch marks. I
heard Ralph gurgling below and moved
away in case he was about to unload. I
kissed Veronica’s mouth until I noticed that
underneath her, Ralph had passed out.

She took his pecker out of her ass and
listened to his chest. I don’t remember
exactly what was said, but she somehow
communicated that Ralph had fainted.
Naked and still as hard as a Bobby Orr
slapshot, I called an ambulance and untied

Ralph. I felt bad, but I couldn’t help laughing.
After the ambulance had come and taken
Ralph to the hospital, Veronica said, “The
post office still owes me one cum-shot, and
your friend is in no position to deliver.”

She pounced on all fours and pulled her
robe above her ass cheeks to fondle her
crack. “Come in my asshole,” she moaned.
| unzipped my regulation blue slacks, fig-
uring Ralph would’ve wanted it that way.

I spat on my shaft and fed my hungry
muscle into her tight accordion hole. She
shrieked as I slammed her rearend. When I
pulled out, her hole remained molded to the
size of my shaft. Only when I spritzed her
stunned anus with the first droplets of
sperm did the muscle flinch and wink itself
back down to size. Sperm snuck out of her
hole and dribbled onto the floor.

Moments later, the hospital called. A
doctor said that Ralph had suffered a heart
attack, which he surmised was related to
job stress. I chuckled under my breath and
told the doctor I would pass the news on to
his supervisors. As I sit now at the desk
Ralph had to vacate for health reasons, I
sometimes long for those days walking the
postman’s beaten path. —Reid F.

Worcester, Massachusetts

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HUSTLER JUNE

VOOD00 SEXONOMICS:
NOTHING 10 SHARE A STICK AT

BY R.

g of bare-chested men group around
A CITC & a bonfire. Voices rise in animal-
istic cries. Heart-pounding drums
herald the coming of the midnight hour. There's a smell of fierce
perfume in the air. Oils, unguents, incense and body scents mix
in a dizzying chemical fog. Slashing themselves on their chests
and arms with hunting knives, the gathering twists in a crazy,
feverish dance. Blood and sweat mingle in shining rivulets over
their dark skins. Now and then, one of them pitches forward
onto his face and lies panting or rolling stiff in a nervous seizure.
Women join in the dance, making another chain, circling in
the reverse way to the men. They are dazed, stamping them-
selves into ecstasy. The two chains jostle and combine. They
shuffle together, interlocked.
In the shadows, in the extremities of the alleyway, figures
sprawl and grunt, alone and in couples. An elderly woman
stamps and shuffles.

eter IMO pgs
\

JOH ANN A

Suddenly, she throws up her arms and falls to the ground in ec-
stasy. Flames leap and shower the night with sparks.

Round and round circle the dancers, ocher and blood and
sweat glistening in the firelight, amulets and necklaces jigging
and spinning. Tireless hands drum out the rhythm; glistening
backs heave and shiver in the shadows. With the thrusting of a
dozen copulating groins, death in retribution for personal injury
is being invoked. Spurting semen across a glistening pair of
heaving, nut-brown breasts, a supplicant shudders and cries out
as much from ecstasy as from the knowledge that his prayers
have been successfully transmitted to the spirits of the afterlife.

Welcome to New York.

The copulatory rituals of the West Indies have infiltrated un-
derground Miami, Los Angeles, New Orleans and New York
City, and may soon reach the heartland of middle America. The
celebrants are practitioners of voodoo: the sex-magic practices
of modern-day Haiti. Channeling sexual energy is the
voodooists’ means of gaining fortune, good luck and bringing
calamity upon the heads of their enemies, and the only way to
do it is to fuck like crazy.

Most Americans consider voodoo, or voudon, a primitive
religious cult that victimizes the superstitious with a make-do

black magic that is characterized in the extreme by the ritual

slaughter of chickens. An ancient religion derived from

African ancestor worship noted by its propitiatory rites and
communication by trance with animalistic deities, voudon's
bizarre ceremonial rites obscure its primary goal: estab-
lishing connections between the material world and the
world of the spirit through the sexual act.

Perhaps more than its priest-condoned, profligate fuck-
ing, the element of voodoo most disturbing to white-bread
Westerners is its ceremonial sacrifice of animals held at
night to feed gods of the netherworld known as Loas,

which require ritualized feedings with the blood energy

of earthy life forces. According to the tenets of
voudon, the otherworldly Loas will do anything they

ot A are asked to do, if served faithfully. Better jobs, more

money and an increased ability in sex performance
is the trinity of desire for whose fulfillment voodoo

i? em priests strive hardest.

A voodoo supplicant appeases the Loan gods
of the afterlife only by fucking his brains out. Loas
favor anything that releases sexual energy on the
mortal plane. Voodooists believe celibacy, or stor-
ing sexual energy, helps only the gods of commerce
who sublimate sexual energy to direct and oppress
the work force. The greater the sexual power
unleashed on earth, the more power earthly
inhabitants command.
The voudon Loa most intimately connected with car-

nal communion is called Papa Guede. Papa Guede is
represented symbolically by the male sexual organ. A
stiff dick is said to be possessed by Papa Guede.
When in Papa's possession, an
erect cock gives a man his sexual
appetite. At that point, according
to voodoo expert Michael Bertiaux,
author of The Voudon Gnostic
Workbook, such a man is closest to
heaven and poised to give service
to the greatest of sex gods.

The cult of Papa Guede incurs in-
stances of astral necrophilia, that is
to say, erotic encounters with dead
spirits who manifest their presence
in the male organs of sleeping hu-
mans. Erection during sleep, according to Bertiaux, indi-
cates a visit from Papa's spiritual familiars.

Lord of the spirits of death, Papa Guede terrifies
worshipers with obscene and macabre humor and
can be contacted through all forms of sexual activity.
Mendicants of Guede honor their god with obscene
songs and masquerades involving huge, wooden
phalluses. Anything that gives pleasure to the sexu-
al organ is a form of delight to Papa Guede. When
the organ exhibits sufficient pleasure, Papa Guede
gives it a mind and will of its own so that the mem-
ber becomes a magical wand or tool of the Guede
god of sexual power. Even very old men, if they have
dedicated their lives to Papa Guede, are said to be
able to fuck like rabbits, never losing the “high na-

ture” revered by voodoo practitioners as a phallic
fountain of youth.

Semen, considered by voodooists to be a mystical
cream that comes from the rod of sex power, is fabled
to cure such maladies as blindness when adminis-
tered by voudon doctors and priests. The ritual power
of blood sacrifices in voodoo theology pales in com-
parison with the magic of the squirting, sacred cream.
Maya Deren, author of Divine Horsemen, recounts a
story of an incident whereby Papa Guede was called
forth to heal a dying girl. As part of the cure, Deren
relates, Guede reached between his legs and drew
forth a handful of sacred cream, with which he
washed the girl, and she lived.

Loas are always eager to accept sacraments of sex
propitiation, but in instances of special favors, an
intermediary called a bokor helps ensure their atten-
tions. The bokor is the “give man” of black magic. He
sends the spirits of the dead to kill or trouble a suppli-
cant's enemies. Visiting cemeteries at the midnight
hour, bokors make offerings of food and collect soil
from the graves of the dead they wish to bring forth to
trouble living victims. They then spread the dirt on the
paths intended victims frequent, thus arranging a
point of contact wherein the souls of the dead can en-
ter the bodies of the living. Bokors are the makers of
zombies: will-less, speechless bodies capable only of
automatic movement, the so-called walking dead. To
prevent the use of a body in such a manner, a corpse
must be mutilated to ensure it stays inanimate.

According to The Voudon Gnostic Workbook, to pre-

“You seem to have a marriage of convenience.”

pare an altar with which to supplicate the voudon gods
of the afterlife, one needs a few simple tools, a desire
to expend sex energy and a good deal of devotion. In a
quiet place, the voudon supplicant sets a table on
which he places two candles, one black, in the north,
and one blue, in the west. He faces east and places a
glass of water on the south end of the table, directly
opposite the black candle. This is the basic voudon al-
tar, suited for most kinds of otherworldly appeals.

If he is praying for the love of another while ac-
companied by a fellow voodooist, he may make the
offering to gain the love of another by fucking the
female devotee.

Offering semen to Papa Guede is considered the
most powerful magic of all types of voodoo. Taking
his magic wand in hand, using a specially prepared oil
as a lubricant, thinking only of sexuality, working
harder and harder toward the explosion of the jism-
magician orgasm, the votive supplicant is said to ex-
pel spiritual rays (o/as), like so many laser beams
moving through space and time, sending his prayers
deep into the realm of the dead. This is the secret of
unction, a voudon art of applying special oils to the
sacramental “meat” of the body. Each part of the
meat has a favorite oil. With the proper ceremonial
use of unction oils, the whole universe is said to be-
come transformed into the life-force of lust, attracting
and dissembling the powers to help or hurt.

To contro! the minds of other people, the suppli-
cant kneels before the altar. He visualizes the person
he wants to control and prepares himself mentally to
have sex with them, whoever—and whichever
sex—they might be. He holds this sex energy in mind
and pictures a square composed of the letters of his
intended victim's name. He chants, “I infuse this mag-
ic square with the powerful lust magic in my mind,”
and offers the infused mental square to the Loas. To
bring misfortune onto the head of another, the suppli-
cant may make an offering of sacrificial semen to the
gods of sex magic. After anointing himself with an oil
of unction, he either jerks off or fucks a fellow suppli-
cant. In doing so, he must imagine himself having sex
with his intended victim; he must literally imagine
himself “fucking them over.”

For love- and sex-binding spells, a supplicant sets
his mind on the person he wishes to attract, visualizes
having sex with the target and prepares a name square
on paper. This he places on the altar between the can-
dles. He prepares a glass of peach brandy and invokes
the spirits of love and sex to come to his aid. Without
losing concentration, he applies oils to his cock and
jacks himself to a ritual offering of sacred cream.

Healing the sick, bringing riches, attracting love and
sex and fucking-up one’s enemies are not done without
a certain amount of risk. Setting up the colorful temple
wherein the gods may reside and positioning oneself
like a spider in the center of one’s own web to catch
magical vibrations is much more far out than it sounds.
It's the precursor for the real business of voudon con-
sciousness: creating a voodoo space/time machine,
where the dead and the living combine in a single
splooge-load of orgiastic revelry. Ss

JUNE HUSTLER

ILLUSTRATION BY
GEOFF GRAHN

“J. “he See

In the beginning, they didn’t know jack shit
about each other. For two months of par-
adise, he didn’t even know her last name.
She tasted like vanilla icing with her own
brand of raspberry jam in between, oozing
sticky red when he stuck his tongue down the
middle. Every delicious look at her was a
fresh taste. Things were just about perfect.

These days, sucking her hole just wasn’t
the same. He knew her better than he knew
himself, Lately there was a good chance her
cherry cunt smelled like an oyster bed at low
tide, and he only ate fish on Friday—like all
the other Catholics farther ahead in the line
to redemption. Her mouth was all he wanted,
‘cause he couldn’t stand the smell of shit ei-
ther. Couldn't bear the thought that her
stinky, brown muck might back up through
his flapping pee slit and poison him from
someplace deep inside.

Her fucking lips felt more like pussy than
the real thing. Fresh. Clean. Godlike. He want-
ed her mouth around him, workin’ its magic,
turning his bent dick limp as al dente, the way
he wanted it to be. What good was a man
when a hard-on was all he could think about?

She wanted it inside her vag, of course.

‘ 7 Tes oe oe

his tongue down the middle.

She was a stickler for the proper things in the
proper places. Reared by nuns, for Chris-
sakes. Once upon a time, she'd ridden his
stiff wang like a little girl who rides the seat
of a bicycle and can’t get her tailbone hard
enough ‘gainst the seat.

But right now, the smell of pussy would
about make him puke. He wanted her mouth.
Her greasy, berry-flavored lips.

“C’mere,” he told her, his fingers busily
poppin’ the buttons of his fly.

“Whaddaya want?” she murmured, deep
in concentration, her face in a mirror, pinkie
finger smearing raspberry goo on her fat, up-
per lip. Blond curls framed her heart-shaped
face like a filigree gold frame ‘round a pic-
ture of Christ. The Sony showed a slimy,
red eel slithering through a razor-edged
labyrinth. Fuck all Catholics! And screw the
goddamn nature show!

“C’mere,” he said again.

She closed the compact and studied him
like a lazy cat does a dog on a chain. “Whad-
daya want?” she asked again.

He squirmed a little, impatient in his for-
est-green, Naugahyde easy chair. She
looked up. He made an O-shape with his

“If they won't let me out to campaign, how can I get reelected?”

lips. Palmed the scratchy bulge in his pants.

She frowned a little. “What's that s’posed
to mean?”

He scowled, as if to say, “What are you
acting so fucking dumb for?”

She put on a look of wounded frustration,
meaning, Why don’t you fucking speak En-
glish, like a normal human being—the only
kind I'd blow in the first place, if you're in-
terested to know?

She spent the effort of posing an audible
question: “Why should I suck that big, ol’,
greasy pole?” She looked at him straight on.
This year, she’d be 25 years old. How old did
it take to be treated with a little respect?

“I need you to,” he answered, grinding out
the angelic tenor of a choirboy. Part of God’s
perfect plan was the miracle a little boy’s
voice worked on womanly ears. He put on
the little-boy face to go with it, but the eyes
behind the little-boy look were the eyes of a
37-year-old spider, waiting to see how close
the pretty fly was going to get to his web.

Trouble was, she’d come calling to the
sound of his little-boy voice too many times
to fall for it once more. Nothing was quite so
painful as sticking her face in those little-boy
pants and finding a dirty, old man.

“You think I was put on this earth to be
your own personal sex slave?”

The strap of her satin slip dropped off her
bare shoulder, into the crook of her arm.
Panties and a slip. She wasn’t wearing slip-
pers. Her little, bare toes were like perfect
shells on the beach.

“Whaddllya give me for it?”

She crossed her legs and took an emery
board from her Yves Saint Laurent leather
bag. Selected the longest red nail on her sta-
tus-brand-clawing fingers. Started to grind it
to a point. Her petulant tits jiggled with each
gritty stroke. Damn!

He idly wondered how many payments
were left on the Sony. There was the CD sys-
tem. The Westlake speakers. Not to mention
the ancient RX-7 in the driveway that needed
anew engine, a new everything else. Nothing
left on the gold card. Visa charged up the ass.
American Express threatening lawsuits.
There was that god-awful, nervous twitch in
his bowels. He should be out looking for a
job this very minute. Unemployment insur-
ance wouldn’t last another month. Couldn’t
he even get a fucking blowjob on credit?

“C’mon....” No kidding around anymore.
He was a little boy. He had an owie. He
wanted his dick sucked.

In the beginning, even for her, their sex life
was a copulatory Garden of Eden. He’d have
to pry her off his lap. He’d spent so much
time with his cock up her crack, they
might’ve been Siamese twins. She came
without calling. If she wasn’t pulling him
hard up her pussy, she was wettin’ him with
her tongue or jerking it with her feet. Some

(continued on page 53)

JUNE HUSTLER

WoRLD WAR a
PLEASE MELP \)
IF You CAN

|
|
A

| DATEOON

Exotic dancer Leesa’s
Ed f_ay loft is as far out
as the after-hours sex

professes a passion
for heavy rope and
Silver lame. “Sex is no
place for a missionary
position!”

4
'

Photography by Clive McLean
:

PRkey
tree

ADAM & EVE

nights after she’d had an extra drink or scored
some special dope, she’d roll him on his
back, grease herself with homegrown vagi-
noil and delicately — determinedly — slide
the tender insides of her tight, tight bunghole
down his throbbing shaft. The pleasure was
excruciating. And then she’d let him pump,
as hard as he liked, as long as he wanted.

She couldn’t even take a piss by herself!
He’d be right there in the bathroom with her,
slipping his tongue down her throat while
she folded the tissue. They couldn’t remem-
ber a single scene from a movie in the first
two years they were together, and they went
to the movies every Saturday night. She
practically lived on the sperm she sucked out
of him, Every day a fresh dose, like vitamins.
He fucked her to sleep at night. She fucked
him awake in the morning.

Maybe she listened too closely to the snake
in his pants. Maybe it told her too much about
the way a woman can wrap a man into any
configuration she wants when she’s got his
dick feeling good. She liked the deluxe condo
apartment he rented for the two of them. She
craved the fancy dinners he took her to, the
theater shows and movies and ball games.
The little gifts now and then, like the ame-
thyst-and-silver watchband and the Yves
Saint Laurent alligator bag. The trips to Cabo
San Lucas and Vegas. Barney’s New York in
the spring, Hotel Bel-Air in the fall. But what
she really wanted was a diamond on her wed-
ding finger. Plenty more, but nothing less.
She was a good Catholic girl. She was
lookin’ at marriage down the line. He could
look till it hurt, and he never saw it.

She started to see what more she could
do—what would make him quiver just a lit-
tle longer, make his shower of jizz arc a little
higher when he came, make him want to do
something a little more special, all the way
up the ranks to a shining wedding band. She
chomped his raw nipples while squeezing his
glans in the grip of her sphincters. She
rammed her hot tongue in the hollow pits of
his arms while bunching his balls in her fist
and pulling “em ever so firmly. She bit his
ass cheeks and rolled his dank toes “tween
her lips. He fell over himself for it, convulsed
in violent, jerking deliriums of sexual
bliss—but it didn’t bring a connubial con-
tract to mind. Drool passed his gaping maw,
and his eyes rolled back in his head. He dis-
charged countless loads of white approval.
But he never seemed to reach the degree of
submission she craved to see. He was never
as much under her thumb as she wanted.

One night, as he hungrily gnawed her
swollen clit, she absentmindedly ran her mid-

HUSTLER JUNE

dle finger down the crack of his ass. As it
passed across the mucky bump of his hole, he
bit her sore button so hard she yelped. A gush
of pussy oil helped salve the hurt. She
touched his bung again. His hand left her tit
and automatically wrapped ‘round his purple
cock. He started to jerk himself like a maniac.
She tried to take his hand away from his dick,
but his grip was like iron. She removed her
finger from his ass. He immediately relaxed.
His hand left his crotch. Again began massag-
ing her tit, as if nothing had happened. She
sucked him to climax, swallowing more cum
than his undulating testicles had ever pro-
duced, and he drifted dreamily to sleep, not
aware of the power shift in their relationship.

She lay beside him, staring fondly at the
flaccid projection of bloodless tissue that she
suddenly knew unequivocably how to mas-
ter, which flopped peaceably against his
hairy, inner thigh, mindless of the new role it
would play in her plans. She wasn’t an evil
bitch. She just wanted a little more to say
about things. A little more authority. Nothing
more than her fair share.

She was still awake when the sun rose.
The pale, chintz curtains over the bedroom

window glowed a rosy pink. Chattering birds
greeted the dawn. He lay on his side, his face
mashed in a flattened pillow. She ran her

_ hand along the side of his naked body. He

didn’t stir. Her palm passed his furry stom-
ach. She’d never known anyone as ticklish as
he was. He didn’t budge. She leaned down
and stroked his limp dick. Some mornings,
he woke with a hard-on. Not today. She
rubbed the flat of her thumb on the sensitive
flesh just under the cap. It didn’t budge ei-
ther. In fact, it appeared to shrink a little
more. She put her thumb to her mouth, spit
on it and rubbed little circles on that sensitive
spot. It shrank a fraction farther.

She ran her hand along his butt. Carefully
monitoring his sleeping cock, she slipped a
finger down the crack. Gently probed the
rim of his sphincters.

At the instant of her touching his bung, his
cock grew larger by half. Her fingernail ten-
tatively entered the hole. So much blood
flooded his member, it resembled a clown’s
pink balloon inflated by a tank of pressurized
air. The phallus was rigid as a pipe of steel.
The cap was bloated and red as a ripe, spring
tomato, Already, without her even touching
it, a fat drop of glistening pre-cum popped
out of its tip.

That night, during an agonizing gourmet
dinner, she squirmed with impatience while
he lingered over créme brilée. She found
herself resenting every minute of an after-

NEWS

FOR This

STUPID

ABE

“Duh, duh-duh, duuuuuuh, duh-duh, duh, duh, duh-duh....”

AD AM & | BAY ®)
the fence? Could Ki epee man who ongu

dinner theater performance rife with the
combination of bad acting and nudity that
would have usually held her in thrall.

At last, they were back at the condo,
stripped bare and in bed. She allowed him
the pleasure of initiating all of their accus-
tomed positions. Nearly laughed as he spurt-
ed his tired, old seed across her nose and lips
after a nondescript tit-fuck. He interpreted
her choked chuckle as yet another inchoate
classification in the mystifying catalog of
feminine come-gruntings. Quickly rolled
over with a grunt of his own, meaning any-
thing between “Good night” to “I love you,
darling; you have once again given me ines-
timable pleasure; you are my cosmic twin; I
treasure you for any number of reasons that
have nothing to do with sex. See you in the
morning.” But here was where her patience
for routine came to an end.

Her fingertips meandered in the hollow
between his hip and chest. He burrowed res-
olutely into his pillow. She reached around
and ruffled his chest hair. He made a half-
hearted effort to push her away. He never
went seconds. Had she forgotten? With a
flourish, she swept her palm between his ass

cheeks and dug the folded knuckle of her
thumb into his shitter.

He stiffened as if struck with a branding
iron, then rocketed around and pressed his
face to her tit like a drowning man to an oxy-
gen tube. His lower bodily apparatus fiercely
humped the empty air above her snatch like
a mechanical bull, full of electricity, but
without any direction. She repositioned her
hands, snaking her wrist under his balls,
never losing touch with the magic button.
Maneuvered him onto his back with the
skill and determination of a rodeo-circuit
rope-and-tie. Wrapped her lips around his
thrashing member. He grabbed her head, he
grappled the pillows, pulled the sheets away
from the mattress in a squirming, writhing
ecstasy. This was the ticket, she thought in
awe. This would get her to the altar at St.
Patrick’s Cathedral, no less.

She mouthed his balls. Tongued the hair
patch underneath. Finally went where no
good Catholic girl dared go. Heedless of the
consequences, ignoring the rules of hygiene
to which the greater part of her existence had
heretofore been devoted, she dove open-
lipped onto his quivering, stanky sphincters.

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Eyes tightly shut, fists clenched, toes curl-
ing with reprehension, she spent a good half
hour suckling at that aged, puckered orifice
like a newborn pig at its mother’s teat, chant-
ing / do, I do in her brain like a mantra. He
might have recognized in her gesture the ulti-
mate sacrifice, if he weren’t entirely oblivious.
Eyes rolling back in his head, he trembled in a
netherworld of orgasmic delirium, the brink of
pure pleasure, the threshold of earthly par-
adise. The sheer volume of his dick-spurted
offering that finally christened her sacred de-
votion must have averaged half his yearly
production. Not that she noticed the liberal
spattering. She was too busy sucking fresh air.

After this prodigious spurting, he felt
strangely —almost frighteningly —empty.
Every iota of jism had evacuated his balls.
She, on the other hand, felt almost sickening-
ly full. What comforted her after his wheez-
ing hyperventilation turned to snores was the
certain knowledge that what guaranteed a
Catholic girl of her generation a wedding
proposal was not a mistimed pregnancy, but
a rimjob, After all, she’d humiliated herself
on his account. He had to marry her!

The following night saw a mind-blowing
succession of butt-licking sessions, but her
plans went awry, to her horror. She’d sucked
sphincter with so much enthusiasm, he got to
wanting to try it on her. Him! The overgrown
altar boy! The man even her mother thought
was decent, God-fearing, a saint! The possi-
bility that he might turn the tables hadn't
occurred to her. She’d choked less on his
shit-stained stank than on her own reserva-
tions. First of all, how could a man who
gagged at cunnilingus handle the browner
side of the fence? And, more important,
could she ever respect a man who tongued
her A-hole? What would the nuns think?

Despite her objections, her determined
way of squirming her ass out of reach, he
wanted a bite. Wanted a taste. And finally
latched onto her bung like a butt-juice leech.

Not only did he take to ass-rimming like
he’d been born for the job, his impromptu
technique sent her pussy into a shameless
spasm of gratified gushing. She rode his head
like a tongue-torquing bidet, screaming, de-
spite her best interests, “Don’t stop! I love it!”

So her wedding plans were shot to hell.
She'd failed in her mission to make him in-
debted to her. They were even. She’d sucked
his butt; he’d sucked hers. He was nothing to
her anymore. Just another asshole.

And lo and behold, the very next weekend
he married her in a fly-by-night matrimonial
dive in Las Vegas. And promptly lost his job,
his credit, his health insurance. She was stuck
with him for all eternity.

“Please...” he now begged her, flicking
his flopping joint. “Suck it.” She thought it
over and agreed. Why not? What could it
hurt? Nothing could get the taste of shit out
of her mouth. @&

JUNE HUSTLER

KB PEt, ds >

“You bitch! You never told me you were Jewish!”

Whose
Is the
Prettiest
Pussy

in the
World?

The Miss Nude
World International
Pageant is a
parade of naked,

feminine

perfection, proving
that beauty is
precisely

skin-deep.

ILLUSTRATION BY
GODFREY DANIELS

Dateline: Mississauga, Ontario, a flat-line
suburb of Toronto, Canada—The Runway
66, like so many upscale strip palaces, is
located near a major international airport.
Outside, an airplane nose cone, flanked by
huge twin propellers, juts from the building’s
facade. Guys file in below the aeronautic
twirlies, singly and in groups, shouldering
past exiting patrons whose expressions are
the bitter residue of soured expectations.

The entrance backs up. One fellow looks into
the hollow back and interior of Runway 66’s
landmark nose cone. “It’s fake,” he murmurs,
disabused and dismayed. His eyes a fraction
less wide, he moves into the citadel of bogus
boobs, hair extensions and feigned arousal.

But there is one more barrier. A banner
announces the Miss Nude World Internation-
al Pageant: WE WELCOME THE WORLD. For a
small fee, of course.

“Five dollars?” exclaims the queue of con-
sumers, knocked back like a row of tumescent
dominoes. “There’s never been a cover before.”

They all pay it.

a *

The Runway’s black-walled interior is an

aural-visual kaleidoscope of strobes, mir-

rored surfaces and high-decibel, low-IQ rock.
Fully clothed males sit, straining and squirm-
ing, in a communal mook meld, their sodden
anonymity vividly streaked with flashes of
raw, pulsating female nudity. From a second-
story booth above the ground-level action,
the man spinning the records cuts into the
lobotomy-rock to exhort the crowd: “Some-
body scream!”

Somebody screams, but it’s too loud in
there to hear him.

A row of flags is strung along a beam
across the back of the stage, each pennant
representing a country inhabited by nude fe-
males. It’s the United Nations of Cooze.

“Thunder from Down Under!” blasts the
deejay/emcee’s voice-over. “Miss Nude Aus-
tralia! Let’s have a nice round of applause for
Sapphire!”

Sapphire, blond and lissome, stalks the
runway like she’d stalk a kill. She has the
presence and charisma of a champion athlete-
turned-pop celebrity. Her fine, tanned lines
fill the spotlight with synchronistic flexing of
thigh and ass muscle. Beautiful and imperi-
ous above free-rising breasts, she holds her
face up into the high-beam halo. But many of

“Sir, this is blatant sexual harassment...nice dick though!”

the rods in the audience don’t even know
she’s there.

Runway 66 features a phenomenon known
as the table dancer. The table dancer is one of
the most potent diversions known to civilized
man’s deep-seated, barbaric nature.

A dozen nubile nymphs undulate through
the crowd, portable tables cocked upon their
hips or shoulders. These girls are microscop-
ically clad in clinging, libido-accentuating
scraps—bikinis, lingerie, tube skirts. For a
five spot, a chosen trollop plants her table—
more like a low footstool—between the legs
of a seated individual and, for the precise
duration of one song, gives him a one-on-
one air-fucking.

As the non-sex act begins, the guy leans
back and appraises his rented wench with a
look that says, “Suck my dick, babe.” When
the song ends, the stark dancer immediately
replaces every bit of clothing she has re-
moved. Her feigned tolerance of her mo-
mentary employer is abruptly and pointedly
withdrawn. “Eat my shit, dude,” sneers her
attitude, “and don’t kiss my ass while
you're at it.”

* * &

A stage dancer must work doubly hard to
overcome the distraction of the table dancers.
Miss Nude Hungary, strutting like a game-
cock in Spandex plumery upon the elevated
center platform, captures the attention of ev-
ery conscious person in the building.

A redhead with Latin fire in her chiseled
facial features, Miss Nude Hungary speaks
limited English, but her body language is
salacious and fluent. She can’t do anything
that’s not sexy. She slaps high-fives with the
schmoes along the sushi row, working them
with personal-touch contact.

She has true dance ability, whipping her
body in a twirling blur that would spin a Fly
Girl’s head. She wields a set of flaming nun-
chucks, flashing the burning sticks around
her pert, little-girl head. “She is a trained pro-
fessional,” insinuates the oily, predict-a-joke
announcer. “Do not try this at home.”

Miss Nude Hungary smoothly flows into
a T’ai Chi mode, dispensing with her gar-
ments in a fluid economy of motion that is
very much like an artistic endeavor. Her
martial-arts dance is so seductive that her
gaping fans don’t stop to wonder whose
head she is visualizing at the receiving end
of her lethal blows.

Her accompanying music segues into an
aria, and she sinks into her floor-exercise
segment, moving with the power and grace
of a champion gymnast or contortionist. Her
pussy’s full, chewable lips quiver as her arms
support her lower torso in a swinging, split-
legged hand cradle.

She exits the stage to slabs of applause.

* * *

A later contestant is introduced: “Original-
(continued on page 66)

JUNE HUSTLER

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Photography by Matti Klatt

ly from the Philippines and now representing
Miss Nude Orient...”

Under a mass of black hair, her eyes
masked in garish, Day-Glo streaks, Miss
Nude Orient does a flip and nearly stumbles.
The center prop of her show is a portable gal-
lows. She hangs from it by the leg and by the
arm, spinning in an oddly unseductive and
surreal daze. She slips a harness beneath her
armpits and dangles from the beam. Her
flailing feet accidentally knock the chair be-
neath her. Her support skids away.

The night passes in a haze of smoke pots,
nude handstands and double visions of re-
treating table dancers.

* * %

The Mississauga Quality Inn is just anoth-
er rapid-fab motel at the side of a featureless
highway. A Ford Aerostar XL van parked out
front gives the first clue to the delights behind
the Quality’s mundane facade. A banner on
the minibus reads: “The Official Courtesy
Bus for the Miss ??? World Pageant.”

Inside the Inn, a pajama-partying sorority,
many of them clutching incongruous teddy
bears, comes to life in the mid-moming cof-
fee shop. Only last night’s makeup and a pre-

ponderance of surgically rounded bosoms
separate these girls from the senior class of
Thelma’s Business College out on their grad-
uation outing. The awakening Miss Nude
World International contestants sip coffee
and engage in desultory shoptalk. One wor-
ries that the fabled drug tests demanded by
Extravaganza Productions, the organization
staging the event, will detect vestiges of mar-
ijuana that was being smoked in a room she

walked past the night before. Another pair of

dancers discuss hair extensions.

“It’s not real hair, is it?” asks one finely
woven lovely. She’s had her extensions in for
a few months now, but she’s not entirely sure
about them.

“You can keep them in four to six months,”
replies her non-sequitur interlocutor.

“But you can’t curl it?” asks the woman
who owns them.

“You can only put hot curlers in it.”

“But you can’t curl it?”

“You can, but that will fry it.”

Miss Samantha Jones enters the coffee
shop, and the girls slouch to attention.
Samantha is a matronly redhead, matronly as
in police matron. She packs a punch beneath

AND NOW HERE'S RONALD REAGAN
FOR [(D[E[EP[EN]|[DS UNDERGARMENTS

WELL ,THERE
I GO AGAIN...

“

her surface of deep patience. According to
official pageant literature, Miss Jones—rep-
resenting Italy—won the first Miss Nude
World Contest, held in Syracuse, New York,
in 1965. In the ’70s, wheeled sleaze meister
Dick Drost ran the Miss Nude World Contest
at his infamous Naked City, occasionally
utilizing Samantha as mistress of ceremonies.
In 1989, Drost helped Samantha and Extrav-
aganza Productions run the Miss Nude
World International Contest. These years of
tradition are a stone foundation beneath
Samantha’s rock-steady manner.

The girls hang on Jones’s every word.

The votes from the previous nights’ com-
petitions have been tallied, she explains.
Fourteen of the 31 girls have been chosen to
go on to the final rounds. Samantha realizes
that some girls will prefer to be informed of
defeat in privacy, rather than while upon the
Runway 66 stage. Therefore, if a girl needs
to know whether or not she is to proceed in
the contest, she may go to Samantha’s room
and ask. However, if a girl asks and is told
that she is not among the finalists, then she
must forego participation in the remainder of
the pageant, check out immediately, “get
your johnnycakes out of here.”

The essence of this agreement is ham-
mered out like the SALT II treaty.

“Does everybody understand what I’m
saying?” asks Samantha.

She is answered by a chorus of nos.

Sapped of her longstanding patience,
Samantha leaves the smart ones to explain it
to the others.

* * *

Sapphire, Miss Nude Australia, is out of
breath. She’d gone back to her room for a
moment at the Mississauga Quality Inn. An-
other girl had promised to alert her when the
van was ready to shuttle the contestants to a
mandatory meeting at the Runway. Any girl
who misses this meeting will be eliminated
from the pageant. The rigors of competition
being what they are, Miss Australia’s pal
leaves her, and the transport van comes and
goes. Luckily, a lurking photographer gives
her a ride.

Up close in the back of a speeding car, Miss
Aussie is more intense than she appears on
stage. She is a serious blonde, strong, articu-
late and intelligent. A few girls have already
been kicked out of the contest. “The rules are
all written out, and we had to sign them.”

The Miss Nude World International Pag-
eant is important to the girls for reasons other
than the prizes. Booty listed in the official
program runs the gamut from tanning pack-
ages to a complete nail make-over. Accord-
ing to the fine print, neither the Runway 66
nor Miss Nude World International may be
held responsible for nondelivery of any prize
promised by donor(s).

The title is what is really at stake. A hard-

(continued on page 75)

JUNE HUSTLER

& ps

“1 traded the wife for it. The hole’s smaller, and it smells a helluva lot better.”

Photography by» Matti Kliatt

na a ene

wi
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OCT A)

pect ated beneat
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per thighs, glowing like

working dancer can earn up to a quarter mil-
lion dollars a year headlining the top venues
with such a title on her resumé. Just being
named a finalist, according to Miss Oz, could
make the whole ordeal worth it.

Even though the car is traveling at close to
100 miles an hour, Miss Nude Australia de-
clines to admit she’s excited. If she gets ex-
cited, that’ll make her get nervous, and when
she gets nervous, she puts on a bad show.
Sapphire won a contest in Australia to quali-
fy for the Toronto meet.

“Was it a tough contest?”

“I don’t know how tough it was. There
were ten other girls. I got very nervous, and
it was terrible.”

“But you won?”

“Oh, I won.” Sapphire is a very serious
blonde.

Back at Runway 66, a whole new tension
runs among the contestants. They huddle in
the VIP upstairs area, looking down at the
proles below. Some of the girls are in robes:
many are totally naked. HBO has a camera
crew covering the proceedings. Mexican
TV is there too, as are skin-mag talent
scouts. Some of the girls look like they
might get sick; after all, only half of them
will go on to compete.

Hyperventilating, Samantha Jones takes
the stage and introduces the Miss Nudes.
One at a time, the girls come starkers down a
spiral staircase to the stage level, promenade,
and stand pressed against one another in a
growing line, totally naked except for sashes
emblazoned with the names of their repre-
sentative nations.

It ain’t easy getting down those steps.
Calves, thighs and glutes strain as the 26
girls descend. Spectators seated beneath the
stairwell see the fine hairs on a girl’s upper
thighs, glowing like golden, silky down in
the spotlight. Or, the spectator just looks up
and checks out her pussy lips.

The collected girls gather for a group shot,
posing and smiling. So many naked women
in one place. They seem to all be smiling di-
rectly into a lone spectator’s face. He has
never seen such loving regard come from a
pair of female eyes, never mind from 26
pairs. But then, he has never been between
26 women and a mirror, such as the large one
that lines the wall behind him.

ak ob bo

A summary of Saturday night:

*The 14 semifinalists are announced.

*Miss Casino Beauty International, a
blonde with attitude (BWA), dollops fluores-
cent paint onto her body, presses sheets of

HUSTLER JUNE

golden, silky down in the

potlight.
paper against the paint splotches, and hands
the resultant artwork out to her fans. The best
piece is the one that sticks to her butt.

*Another BWA does her pussy-stretching
floor work while playing an Aerosmith song
about shooting a sleazy sex fiend.

*Miss Nude Romania, an 18-year-old red-
dish-brunette named Alex, runs in a hand-
stand along the entire length of the runway,
does a headstand flip into total splits and
vigorously humps the floor—all while still
in a mid-length cocktail dress.

*A Chinaman reaches up to fold money
into Miss Nude Norway’s G-string. “Get
your hands off her,” screams an ace in the
self-policing crowd, Miss Norway sinks un-
sullied into a bubblebath.

*Miss Nude Blonde Canada hits the slats
in a revealing policewoman costume. The
skirt, split behind, shows what every sex of-
fender longs to see—a cop’s ass hanging out,
vulnerable and open.

*Lynx LeSabre, Miss Nude Ireland, pops
out of a polar-bear costume, a buxom
brunette who looks like Kim Basinger from
one angle and Candice Bergen from another.
She caps her show by crawling in a vat of ice

and snow. Her butt crack falls wide effort-
lessly, and shards of frozen H2O steam and
stream on her full, dusky pussy.

*A tall, skinny male, unable to restrain
himself at the prospect of a potentially large
audience, jumps onto the runway and prances
as BWA Barbara Benson does her opening
passes. The geek gyrates his hips, hops down
and sits back into his seat. He savors his
glory for precisely six seconds. On the sev-
enth tick, a Neanderthal grabs him one-hand-
ed by the neck and drags him toward the exit.
The geek’s chair follows, but soon abandons
him, as do his friends. This was not a good
time for the geek to come out of the closet.

*The PA announcer ejaculates, “Some-
body scream!” a hundred times too many.
Somebody leaves.

* * *

The Quality Inn has action of its own.
Some of the eliminated girls are making the
best of it. A few strippers have banded to-
gether to earn $400 each entertaining a stag
party of East Indians staying at the motel.
Curry and hilarity can be detected all down
the halls.

One bit of swimsuit stuffing cries for half
an hour after finding out she hasn't made the
cut. She could have gone to a job and
danced. It cost her $500, and she didn’t even
make anything. Someone had told her she
would be in. The gist of her weeping is that
the contest is fixed. She isn’t the only one

5 dine OR

f i A Ch r >
"Get your hands off her,” screams
voicing that suspicion. A number of crowd
pleasers failed to make the grade.
* cK

The big night has more hoopla than the
one before. All the girls are on hand; even
the ones who didn’t pass the cut are totally
dolled up. Trophies big enough for a sumo
wrestler are arranged upon a ledge above the
stage. The HBO camera crew skulk about the
stage perimeter.

Samantha is resplendent in an emerald-
green, sequined dress. Her microphone has
difficulties. “Microphones are like men,” ad-
libs Sam. “You have to play with them to get
them to work.”

The microphone goes totally dead.

The participants of 1991's revelry, intro-
duced one by one, flash past in shimmering
gowns of satin and sequins. Some guys in the
audience, urged on by the deejay, scream
through the entire presentation. The girls
stand and bow.

“The ladies are being led to a soundproof
booth,” announces Samantha to a presumed-
gullible audience.

The official program promises, “The old
atage [sic] “beautiful but dumb’ has no bear-

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to IViiss Nude Nor 5
ewe rs ike
the self-policing crowd.
ing here,” and dedicates the pageant to the
preservation of the planet. The intellectual
portion of the contest requires each finalist to
extemporaneously answer the question: What
would you do to save the Earth?

A wag in the audience suggests group sex
as a solution. He suggests it a little too loudly
and is whisked from the premises by a man
who resembles an endangered species of
pink baboon.

As each finalist takes the microphone and
spills her plan for saving the universe, it be-
comes clear that some are speaking more ex-
temporaneously than others. A few have
memorized their responses, perhaps while
back in the soundproof booth not hearing the
question, Others are taken entirely by surprise.

This portion of the entertainment is a wel-
come break from the music, but the crowd has
come out to see pussy. Here’s what they see:

*A reprise of Miss Nude Hungary's
martial/sexual pyrotechnics; warm, snow-
sent shivers running through Miss Ireland’s
majestic slopes; a BWA in a tub of green
Jell-O, feeding cubes of squiggly dessert to
the popping weasels sitting stageside; two
separate BWAs whose shows hinge around

“Inspector #12, please...”

playing with fire—only one swallows it; the
perfect muscle-tone-to-jiggle factor of Vanna
Lace, Miss Nude Switzerland; Vanessa Del
Sol, 1990’s Nude World Queen, in a dance
routine that would snap the head off a lesser
athlete: and Miss Australia beginning her set
totally nude and shaved, working backward
to yank her own chain by pulling a pair of
panties up in her slot.
* * *

The awards portion of the show is drawn
out, anticlimactic and too late in the night.
Many of those who have not already gone
home go to sleep.

Samantha prolongs the agony by handing
out certificates suitable for framing to all the
little people. Even HBO gets a certificate.

“Sam really knows how to build sus-
pense,” opines a failed contestant. Much of
the audience streams for the exits. “She's got
everybody’s ovaries in her hands.”

Personal awards are given first: Lisa D.
Foxx, Miss Nude French Riviera, is awarded
the Best Dance Ability in the World. A large
portion of the world was not consulted on this
award, nor on any of the following: Miss
Nude World Gymnast, World’s Most Beauti-
ful Face, World’s Hottest Stage Personality,
the Audience Favorite of the World, the
World’s Hottest Newcomer, the Most Lus-
cious Lungs in the World, the World’s Most
Sensuous Woman, the World’s Hottest Body,
the World’s Fanciest Fanny, the World’s
Hottest Legs, the World’s Most Unique Show,
the Best Show in the World, the World’s
Businessman’s Favorite and, “the most covet-
ed award in the world,” more so than the
Nobel Peace Prize, Miss Congeniality. Each
award requires its recipient to come down, ac-
cept the token and brazen it around the stage.

A few awards were missed, such as:

Most Incongruous Nationalisms: Miss
Nude Eastern United States costumed in
Wild West gear; Miss Nude USA’s entire
musical selection being in Spanish; Miss
British Isles doing her routine in American
Indian regalia.

Heights Achieved by the Deejay’s Wit:
“How many of you guys like your women
wet?” said every time a contestant hosed
herself down.

The half dozen stalwarts who have stayed
through all these awards no longer care who
wins the contest. Miss Ireland only comes
in fourth.

“You must remain here and remove your
clothes,” stipulates Samantha.

Neither Miss Nude Australia nor Miss
Nude Hungary places in the top four. Despite
allegations of being spotted on the club own-
er’s arm, the winner, Vanna Lace, represent-
ing Switzerland, is unarguably a deserving,
underdog winner. In the spirit of honest,
clean competition, much of her music and
props had been stolen prior to her show. @&

JUNE HUSTLER

Wee

“Now that’s original!”

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winds afternoon. “i= fr @.man with this
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Atian was sitting at a bar in a Miami Beach hotel feel-
ing exceedingly horny, when a beautiful hooker
approached him.

“How much do you want?” asked Allan.

“One hundred dollars for the entire evening,” replied
the hooker.

“Well, if I’m going to pay that kind of money, you
must do it under my rules.”

She said, “Honey, that’s fine, as long as you’re paying.”

Allan said, “Okay, meet me in my room in ten min-
utes, and we’ll close the drapes, turn out the lights and
do it in pitch-black darkness.”

“That’s okay, honey. It’s your money.”

When they got together in the room, Allan really
gave it to her. Then he said, “Let’s rest a few moments,”
and then he started in again. The same scene went on
for two hours. Finally, after six encounters, Allan
seemed even stronger than before.

The hooker said, “Allan, you are the most fantastic
lover I have ever had. You just keep getting better and
better every time.”

“Listen, lady,” said a voice. “My name is Daniel.
Allan is outside selling your ass at 50 bucks a throw.”

Bhestion: What is the difference between an Iraqi
woman and a catfish?

Answer: One has whiskers and smells bad, and the
other lives in water.

"
j think my wife is pissed at me,” said the man to his
co-worker. “I made a slip of the tongue this morning.”

“Oh,” the co-worker asked, “how’s that?”

“| was sitting across the table from my wife at break-
fast and meant to say, ‘Honey, would you pass the
milk?’ but what came out instead was, ‘You scroungy
bitch, you’ve really fucked my life!” ”

Question: What’s the difference between fucking a girl
with arms and fucking a girl without arms?

Answer: If you’re fucking a girl without arms and your
dick slips out, you have to put it back in yourself.

A man returned home from the graveyard shift at
7 a.m., went straight to the bedroom and found his wife
with the sheet pulled over her head, feigning sleep. Not
to be denied, the horny man pulled up the sheet and pro-
ceeded to screw her.

Afterward, he hurried to the kitchen for something to
eat and was startled to find breakfast on the table and
his wife pouring coffee. “How’d you get in here so
fast?” he asked. “We were just screwin’ in the bedroom
a couple minutes ago!”

“Oh, my God!” his wife gasped. “That’s my mother!
She came over and spent the night in our bed.” Rushing
into the bedroom, she cried, “Mother, | can’t believe
this happened. Why didn’t you say something?”

“T haven’t spoken to that bum for 20 years,” she
huffed, ‘and I wasn’t about to start now.”

The HUSTLER Dictionary defines /oneliness as: being
the first homosexual.

The bank manager saw a new employee diligently
counting out $100 bills. “You look to be on your way
up to executive,” he said. “Where did you receive your
business education?”

“Yale,” the fellow replied, still counting out bills.

“That’s excellent,” the manager said. “And what’s
your name?”

“Yim Yohnson.”

Question: What’s worth more than Jack Ruby’s .38
Special pistol at auction?

Answer: Lyndon B. Johnson’s canceled check to Lee
Harvey Oswald.

A fellow walked into his doctor’s office with his hand
horribly mangled. The doctor looked at the injury and
said, “Ill give you a shot of novacaine, and in just a
minute I’ll fix you right up.”

“Don’t worry about the shot, Doc,” the man replied.
“Just fix it—I’ve had pain worse than this twice before.”

After the doctor had finished his work, he asked the
guy what kind of pain was worse than getting a gash
that went to the bone sewn up without any anesthesia.

“A few years ago,” the guy began, “I was in the north
woods hunting. I sat down behind a bush to take a crap,
when my balls fell into a bear trap.”

Stunned, the doctor cried, “Oh, my God, that must
have been terrible! What could possibly have hurt
worse than that?”

The guy answered, “I ran out of chain on that bear trap.”

HUSTLER Humor jokes are sent to us by our readers.
If you've heard a gut-buster lately, why not send it
our way? Submit your jokes on 3" X 5" cards, mailed
in a sealed envelope, to HUSTLER Humor, 9171
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JUNE HUSTLER

; Vice Lowdown by J. R. Nelson

& Sick of the big-city rat race? Try
f roughing it in the boondocks.
a Country life can be
' murder—
and
rape
and
robbery too.

ILLUSTRATION
BY JOHN SEABURY

NA sx UG VAIS RRW.

early 30s. hit had tumed her into a mass af ansraet tissue,

The two-hour commute into the city
wouldn’t bother you. You like the smell of
fresh-mown hay. You’ve always wanted to
stretch out in your yard buck-naked on a
warm, moonlit night without being ogled
by a bunch of strangers from their pent-
houses in the sky.

Who wouldn’t? Compared to the costs,
noise and crime of urban living, the country
rises like an angel in the dreams of a city
dweller. One day, he prays, /'/l make
enough dough to move out beyond the sub-
urbs, Find a restful spot, a blissed-out zone
of bucolic peacefulness. What paradise it
will be to get away from it all.

Only in the movies, neighbor.

* * *

Far from the beaten trail, the town of Vil-
lanow, Georgia, is so small that it can’t be
found on many road maps, but it’s there all
the same, hidden in the north Georgia
mountains.

Birds were chirping and the golden
rays of morning were just breaking over
the meadow as young Villanow house-
wife Nikia Gilbreath kissed her man
goodbye before he headed off for work.

She was pregnant with their second child.

It was immediately apparent that all was
not as it should be when Nikia’s husband
returned home that evening. All that greet-
ed him at the door were the screams of
his baby, who evidently had not been fed
or changed all day. His spouse, Nikia Gil-
breath, had vanished.

As darkness gathered, the whole neigh-
borhood turned out to search for her, but the
search was fruitless.

Several days later, a man looking for alu-
minum cans in an illegal dump in the woods
saw something resembling a discarded de-
partment-store mannequin. Nikia Gilbreath
had been found.

When investigators arrived on the scene,
they unearthed the badly decomposed body
of a pregnant woman in her early 30s. Li-
vidity had turned her face into a mass of ab-
stract tissue, hardly recognizable as human.
Cause of death: suffocation.

Villanow resident Jamie Ray Ward, age
34, was arrested. A search of his home
revealed hundreds of items of women’s
lingerie, each item neatly described and
recorded on an index card and cross-refer-

“What's a gal gotta do to get a drink around here?”

enced according to its history. Officials
discovered notes detailing the day-by-day
activities of the Gilbreath victim.

According to FBI specialists, Ward kept
the lingerie as trophies of his conquests.
With such handy props, he was not only
able to fantasize the horrible rape and mur-
der of Nikia Gilbreath whenever he wished,
but could feel what she had been wearing
and smell her odors on her garment.

Ward’s defense was that he had black-
outs. “I could have done it. I could not have
done it,” he told rural Georgia police.

Later he told an investigator, “I’ve been a
liar all my life. If I done it, I’m sorry.”

* * *

Kelly Gutierez had seen both parents go
to jail. She and her two siblings had been
taken into state custody and passed from
foster home to foster home.

Finally things were beginning to work
out for her. She’d been placed in a foster
home in the beautiful farm community of
Central Islip, Long Island. In the relaxed,
countryside home, Kelly was treated like
one of the family.

On her 16th birthday she wrote in her di-
ary: “This was the happiest day of my life!”
Her newfound happiness ended some time
before her nude, mutilated body was found
not far from her home in the woods adjoin-
ing the country walk called Joshua’s Path.

It was evident by the crime scene that
Kelly hadn’t given up easily. As the D.A.
would later state, “She was definitely fight-
ing for her life.”

Clothing was strewn all over the ground,
and the leafy debris on the forest floor was
spotted with coagulated blood.

Kelly had not been raped, although it was
clear that this was the intention of her at-
tacker. She fought back, and it probably cost
Kelly her life.

The killer’s savage blade had penetrated
the young woman’s breasts until they re-
sembled hamburger. Ribs had been cracked;
organs had been violated. The attack was so
furious that the handle broke off of the al-
leged murder weapon. It was found on the
ground near the body.

Prior to the attack, Kelly was visiting a
girlfriend who lived close by. They’d been
listening to records all evening and had lost
track of time.

It was already the wee hours of the morn-
ing when Kelly realized she had better head
home. She normally would have called her
foster parents for a ride, but her friend’s
mother had locked up the telephone so the
chatty girls couldn’t raise the monthly bill.
Besides, she reasoned to her anxious girl-
friend, she’d walked Joshua Path a thousand
times before—in the daytime.

Kelly’s girlfriend waved goodbye, calling
out promises to meet the next afternoon as
Kelly walked off toward the darkness. Un-

JUNE HUSTLER

“Good day, sir. Have you read the Book of Mormon?”

Ly ped :
of sexual torture and murder he ha
fortunately, she wasn’t the only person
watching Kelly disappear into the shadows
that fateful night. Roberto Rivera—who
rented the basement apartment of Kelly’s
friend’s house—was drawn to the window
by the girls’ lively banter.

Police allege that Rivera took a shortcut
through the woods and accosted Kelly just be-
fore she would have reached home and safety.

Rivera apparently tried to persuade her to
accompany him into the woods, and when
that failed, he forced her at knifepoint to do
his bidding. When she fought his advances,
it was Rivera’s blade that answered.

* # *

It’s not uncommon in rural areas for a
single deputy to be responsible for pa-
trolling 100 square miles.

Such isolated countryside is a giant smor-
gasbord of criminal opportunities. Rapists,
robbers and murderers would be hard-pressed
to find an environment better designed for
their purposes. In the boondocks, crime
scenes may not be found for months, if at all.

Says a burglar convicted of scores of ru-
ral crimes, “I never got caught until |
moved to the city. Out in the country it was

planned
easy pickin’s. Usually, when I wanted to rob
a house, I just walked in the front door. Peo-
ple left money lying around everywhere.
And if I needed a car, the keys were usually
over the sun visor or under the floor mat.”

Thousands of names decorate missing-
persons lists across rural America. Many a
bleached human bone lies undetected in the
countless woody groves, lakesides, deserts
and mountain passes that dot the country
wilderness.

It ain’t all the work of strangers either.

In the quiet farming community of North
Adams, Michigan, two small boys barely
escaped a horrible death at the hands of a
neighbor who had over the years befriended
many of the kids in the neighborhood, help-
ing them build go-carts and letting them
sleep over at his house.

North Adams was a trusting community.

Locals had never developed the habit of

locking their doors until the night that two
screaming boys reported having been awak-
ened, tied up and taken into a garage by
their friend, 56-year-old Edwin Shaw.
Fortunately, Shaw was not very good at
tying knots. The older of the two was able

to wiggle his way free while Shaw was pre-
occupied with bringing the younger boy to
the garage. He, in turn, escaped by persuad-
ing Shaw that he could assist in the search
for the other boy.

By the time investigating officers ar-
rived at the scene, it was too late to make
an arrest. Shaw had turned a rifle on him-
self. Near his brain-spattered corpse was
found a notepad on which Shaw had
written the names of the two boys and
outlined a 29-step process of sexual tor-
ture, mutilation and, finally, murder that
he had apparently planned to carry out on
his intended victims.

“The sad thing,” according to a North
Adams resident, “is we thought it couldn't
happen here.”

Most every small town, village or wide
spot in the road has a gory tale to tell.

In the river near Davenport, lowa, fish-
ermen discovered a torso in the water. All
that was left of the corpse was a silt-cov-
ered chunk of meat, cut off just above the
navel and several inches below her female
organs. There were no fingers to print, no
teeth to compare to dental records. The
victim was identified partially as a result of
a friend’s description of her pubic hair.
How did she meet her end? Dismember-
ment by chainsaw.

In Tempe, Arizona, a young girl had the
misfortune of leaving her keys in the igni-
tion when she locked her car. For this simple
error, she paid with her life. The samaritans
who helped her retrieve her keys also helped
themselves to her body before pummeling
her with stones, crushing her skull in the
process. The medical examiner stated that,
although her body was severely damaged by
the stoning, it is possible that the girl was
buried alive.

And in Scappoose, Oregon, a three-year-
old girl was stomped to death, allegedly
because she caught her teenage murderer
masturbating. He put on a show for her to
watch, then killed her because he was afraid
she would tell on him.

These hideous acts of malefaction share a
barbaric crudity. But don’t think that the an-
nals of country crimes lack blood-chilling
instances of metropolitan sophistication.

In the small village of Channelview,
Texas, authorities charged Wanda Hol-
loway, a 36-year-old mother of two, with
attempting to hire a hitman to murder Ver-
na Heath, a former friend and the mother
of her daughter’s chief competitor for the
single opening on the high-school pom-
pom squad.

Trouble began in the sixth grade when
Verna’s daughter Amber beat out Wanda’s
daughter Shanna for a junior-high cheer-
leading spot. As time went on, Amber be-
gan to win more praise than Shanna and

(continued on page 104)

JUNE HUSTLER

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seemed to be a shoo-in for the high-school
cheerleading spot.

According to police reports, Wanda Hol-
loway’s first idea was to hire a hitman to
knock off both Amber and her mother, She
asked a friend to help locate a professional
killer, but after their cosy, coffee-table chat,
the friend informed the police.

Wearing a wire, he returned to Wanda
and told her he had found a hitman, and it
would cost $5,000 to knock off Amber and
$2,500 for her mother.

Wanda allegedly decided that Amber was
too expensive. She is accused of attempting
to contract the murder of Verna because, she
reasoned, Amber wouldn't be able to do her
best in the competition if her mother had
just been murdered, and Shanna would win
the position with the high-school squad.

Fortunately for Verna Heath, the plan
was never carried out. Wanda was arrested,
convicted to a 15-year jail term and fined
$10,000.

What do you do if you enjoy the soli-
tude of a small, quiet town, and someone
moves in next door who plays the stereo

too loud and roars up and down the road at
all hours on a motorcycle?

If you happen to be a genius chemistry
buff, you might poison the neighbor’s
Coca-Cola and watch him die slowly.

That’s what George Trepal did.

Says John Aguero, prosecutor of the case,
“Here’s a man who thought he was so smart,
he could literally get away with murder.”

Trepal, 42-year-old computer program-
mer and member of MENSA—the club for
persons with genius-level 1Qs—has been

convicted of spiking 16-ounce bottles of

Coca-Cola Classic with thallium nitrate,
then sneaking into his neighbor’s house and
planting them in the refrigerator.

Soon, neighbor Peggy Carr was complain-
ing of flu-like symptoms. She tried to take
care of herself, but she eventually became so
ill, she had to be literally carried to the local
emergency room. She died soon thereafter.

Trepal became a suspect in the case
when the fact came to light that he had
written scenarios for murder that were
very similar to the circumstances sur-
rounding Peggy Carr’s fatal illness. Trepal
once wrote: “When a death threat appears

“Hans, we need to talk.”

104

at the doorstep, prudent people throw out
all their food and watch what they eat.”

Shortly before the poisoning, the Carr
family had received a letter that advised
them to move out of the neighborhood or
die. They thought it was a joke.

Trepal had a library of books and pam-
phlets concerning the poisoning of human be-
ings. He was convicted of first-degree murder.

The media described the case of the
cold-blooded, countryside crime perpetrat-
ed against Betty Jeanne Solomon as Fatal
Attraction.

Paul Solomon met Carolyn Warmus at
the elementary school where they both
worked, and they quickly became friends.
According to testimony, as time went on the
friendship turned into romance.

Paul Solomon knew that it was going to
be difficult to carry on the affair during the
summertime break from classes; so he told
Warmus that they’d better end it.

But school had barely started again in the
fall when mutual chemistry got the best of
them. Once again they found themselves
tempting fate.

By this time, Paul later testified, he and
his wife had talked about a divorce, but had
attended counseling and were trying to put
the pieces of the marriage back together. He
was experiencing mixed emotions and
wasn’t sure he wanted to continue the affair.

Despite his misgivings, he and Carolyn
met in the evening at a bar where they had a
drink, then went to her car and had sex.

During the time they lay together in their
bed of adultery, Paul Solomon’s legal wife
lay at home on the living-room floor, dying
from the nine shots that had been fired into
her by an automatic pistol with a silencer.

It is alleged that Carolyn Warmus shot
Mrs. Solomon, left her to die, then joined
Paul Solomon for a cold-blooded happy hour.

Detectives first suspected Solomon of the
murder, What tipped them toward prosecut-
ing Carolyn Warmus was the dogged way
she pursued Solomon after his wife’s death.
She had been forbidden to call him, but
she bombarded him with notes and letters.
He says she wanted him and would do
whatever it took to get him, even murder.
Her lawyers say she was framed. Neither
scenario matters to Betty Jeanne Solomon.

ae i *

Rural resident, be warned: If the houses
on your route haven’t been broken into, and
there hasn’t been at least one violent crime
committed against someone you know in
the past year, lawmakers say you are statis-
tically overdue.

On the other hand, take heart: Although
statistics are rising, the country is still a
safer place to live and work than the city.
And if murder and mayhem are what you're
looking for, you don’t have to look any far-
ther than your own backyard. @&

JUNE HUSTLER

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215- |
474-
2881

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Box 9, Locust Street,
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FA]!

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TO PLACE YOUR Z CONTACT: EXPOSURE WAGES, P.O. BOX 639, SUN VALLEY, CA ere 818-768-5073

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Adults Over 18.

FANTASY PHONE, BOX 2018, HOBOKEN, NJ 07030

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ONE TO ONE SERVICES, 3540 Sumner
Ave., Ste. 307, Memphis, TN 38122

PERSONAL
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24 HOURS A DAY

CALL FOR
FREE INFO!

212-
319-0779

18 AND OVER PLEASE

INTROSERVICES, 1153 N DEARBORN-

STE. 430, CHICAGO , IL 60610

LINDA'S LOVE LINES!

ee
FOR STRICTLY ADULT
CONVERSATION
Call 1-900
680-5847

$4.50 per minute
Strictly for adults over 18 only.
DICREET, Box 5918, #512, Metairie, LA 70009

—

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1-900-680-0300
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Fantasy Phone, Box 2018, Hoboken, NJ 07030

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METAIRIE, LA 70002

YOUNGER
WOMEN
~~ = SEEK
OLDER
MEN
For Special
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% Together
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Philadelphia, PA 19152

NANCY NEEDS YOU!

A
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LOW PRICES

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1-900-860-4075
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FULFILL YOUR FANTASIES 1-900-680-2100

FANTASY PHONE, BOX 2018, HOBOKEN NJ 07030

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HARDEST DOMINATION

Changing
Your
Address?

i Please print your new address below. Send this

form and the label from your magazine wrapper
Il to the address below. Allow 6 to 8 weeks for the
Bl change to take effect. Print or type clearly.

§. OLD ADDRESS:

g
a

City Stote Zip

NEW ADDRESS:

Q
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State Zip

HUSTLER, L.F.P., INC.
P.O. Box 16568
North Hollywood, CA 91615

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It’s rockets on the cheesecake when HUSTLER celebrates its 18th
anniversary in July. A brunet wildcat prowls for clit-kill in a tit-
popping, blood-red brassiere; a powder-soft, boudoir blonde slips out
of silk panties and into spread sheets; a pussy-pumping muscle dude
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The inviolable bonds of trust between
patients and doctors in America are
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and for good reason. Criminal abuse in the
medical profession is thriving. In 1990 an
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incompetent physicians and negligent
medical treatment. Writer Larry Wichman
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Famous deadsters channel birthday wishes (and curses) from the grave
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Over 50 Party-girls to choose from! mS P| ARTY: Yy: Mie,
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